My internet's spazzing out again. don't know why. maybe my dad forgot to pay the bill. so, i'll have to make this really really quick.

physics SPA. funnily, for the first time in my life, i'm feeling more confident about physics than about chem. i think it's because only skill B was tested, or because i was feeling particularly lucky today. anyway, i'm pretty satisfied with my experiment, especially because i don't think there are that many glaring errors. my line was nice and straight, with all points within a 4mm range. that's something i'm really proud of, since it's rare that this happens for me.

tomorrow (and next tuesday, for that matter) is the real killer. physics, then maths. my two weakest subjects (econs has been promoted to third-weakest, or second best). i've said this before, but the equations of motion are still not stuck in my head. and i'm going to die for forces questions tomorrow, because i think i have conveniently misplaced my notes. still have a lot of definitions and formulae to memorize, such as for circular motion and gravitation. 5 chapters, kinematics, dynamics, forces, circular motion and gravitation don't sound a lot, but the notes are enough to kill.

aside from physics SPA, i also went down to support the SJI and CJC guys in the Judo nationals. as you can see from the word "support", i was not competing. we didn't do too badly, but we didn't do too well either. at least we've got some medals. that reminds me. have to go and support the girls tomorrow after the physics paper. hopefully they can come out first like last year. then have to rush home, get changed, and rush down to cat high for CHMA. i think it'll be better than last year's. must bring camers to take photos again...and that, in turn, reminds me that i need to get batteries and if possible, a new memory card.

it looks like i can never cut my ties to cat high. not that i'd want to, of course. it's just that i've already made some friends with the new sec 1s, and even with some of the primary school. not only that, i'm still involving myself with various activities with the school, which leads to CIP hours, which lead to NYAA gold. looks like they won't be rid of me for quite a while.

well, that's it for now. i've been pushing my luck as far as internet connection duration is concerned, but i think it's best if i knew my limits. so, i'll cut it here.

-thingy of the day: Life rarely turns out as expected, proven by my SPA.-

Well, the idea for [Open Up Your Mind - 6.48] was conceived in the exam period, and the entire layout was made then too. not too bad, i hope.

so far, the exam period has been relatively kind to me, considering that this is my first major exam in a JC. i have a pretty good feeling for chem, less for econs, even less for the SPA, and least of all for chinese. i don't think my target (1A, 5Bs) is acheiveable any more, but still, i won't complain that much as long as all subjects pass.

after today, there are 4 papers left. physics, physics SPA, maths, and NE. all will be over by tuesday, fortunately. after that, it'll be back to normal boring routine JC life again, or rather, back to as boring as CJC can get.

tomorrow's the physics SPA. it's a short 80-minute paper, so i'll be free by 9+. have to go down and support the Judo team at hougang sec. must bring $$ also. owe captain $36. looks like a pretty long day tomorrow.

-thingy of the day: Wouldn't it be nice...-

Tomorrow's the day school starts. doesn't feel like it though. i'm still under the (mis)conception that i can wake up at 11am tomorrow. well, technically i can, and i'll explain why later. but my main point is, it doesn't feel like term 3 at all.

so, about waking up at 11am, it's because tomorrow's also the start of exam season. and my first paper's chem, which starts at 1pm. so, technically, i can get up at 11am and still make it to school on time. but waking up on time is quite low on my priority list now, as compared to the other more important things going on. like revision, which i have been doing really little of.

and yet, with such little revision, i'm not feeling as scared as i ought to be feeling. of course, there is a certain degree of anxiety, even more than during the o-levels, but it just isn't *enough*. i think it's mainly because i have always been top or pretty close to it in chem, and the prospect of me dropping to middle-range doesn't seem that realistic. but the sad truth is, this isn't sec 4 any more. i should be studying, and i know it!! but somehow, i'm just not motivated to.

my jigsaw puzzle appears to be petty smashed up now (refer to a post made a few weeks/months ago). even then, life has to go on. right now, my priorities are on chem and econs because they're the first 2 papers. after that, it's whatever comes next. NYAA's on backburner now, seeing as the deadline's about an entire month away. all the same, i probably should get started on it, and have it done by july 10, 15 latest.

aside from school and work, i've also not been training for close to a month now. add on exam period, and it'll be a month and a half. not very good, especially since i'm a beginner. looks like i won't be representing CJC this year.

now that all my worrying's done, it's time for a break. have to get up early tomorrow to do more last-minute revision.

-thingy of the day: Too nervous/stressed out to think.-

"Such a feeling's coming over me..."

this feeling tells me to send all my econs stuff to a blazing grave. in all of 24 minutes, the words "drop econs" have flashed through my brain at least 50 times, about twice for every question i have no idea how to do, or got wrong. this is really really *really* bad for self-confidence. i think i'm one of the weaker ones in class when it comes to econs...and maths...and physics. wow. go me. i didn't realize it was this bad, not until today. serious action needs to be taken.

aside from econs, i've also spent part (majority) of the day slacking. as i've promised myself, this will be the last slack break until at least a week later. during this period, i've been watching the san miguel asian 9-ball tour. damn i want to play like efren reyes. if i had 80% of his skill and experience, i'd be something like singapore's youth champion already. i've also discovered that i have a great interest in wanting to learn how to play darts properly, and a lesser interest in ice-skating. i also have the urge to go bowling again, though as a recreational sport now as opposed to a competition sport, which has been what i've been doing up to last year. although i don't know how quickly i'll be able to shake the rust off.

my experience in the last 40 minutes has served to prove a theory. guys do work better when there's some background noise. ever since some music came on, econs has become more tolerable. my hit-miss ratio has also improved (i think; haven't checked answers). and i'm also thinking more clearly. just have to clear price determination and maybe re-look a few lot of the demand/supply and elasticity questions, and i can truthfully say that i've done everything from 1.1 to 3.2 to the best of my ability.

today's been going against my wishes a bit. still need to get my lion and laptop adapter. this will lead to temporary fulfilment of material wants, which will in turn lead to greater productivity. whee. econs on the brain. arrgh. ok. time for a tiny break.

-thingy of the day: Econs teaches us to be content. Remember LDMU?-

Boredom has gotten to me. in fact, it's so bad that i've actually identified some constellations which the bites on my leg have made. there's libra, the big dipper, the southern cross, as well as the centaur (saggitarius?)'s bow. this leads me to believe that sandflies have uncanny abilities as astronomers/astrologers. which reminds me - can anyone tell me the difference between the two? i always get them mixed up.

now, there's something wrong with the above paragraph. spotted the error yet? if not, here it is. I SHOULDN'T BE BORED!!! especially not with all the things i have to do, such as revision. which leads to my next topic.

econs is seriously a pain. 30 minutes of TYS is enough to stomp your morale into the ground and crush it with spiked soles. i mean, i can't even do a decent job for demand and supply, which is already one of my better topics. i'm even second-guessing myself for CPE. talk about low self-confidence. hopefully the econs class on thursday will help to clarify some doubts and make me believe in myself again.

on a more work-unrelated note, i've collected my photos of the NYAA trip. while i'm generally quite satisfied with my skill at using a disposable camera, there are a few half-assed shots and some which were totally white. that's the last time i'll take a picture of the sun, no matter what its position in the sky is. ok, maybe this is pretty work-related as well since i need the photos for my NYAA diary. and speaking of the diary, i need the laptop back from repair soon because i have to do the diary on it. oh well. have to go prepare for thursday's econs class.

-thingy of the day: I want to continue writing fanfiction!!!-

Right now, my legs are causing me to feel extremely annoyed. ok, so it's not their fault. rather, it's the *counts* 37-odd sandfly bites on each of them. i swear, i only had less than 10 bites per leg when i left malaysia. thus, i hereby conclude that my friend's statement is true - the bites spread when scratched. anyway, those nasty things have resulted in numerous plasma (and blood) wounds, which also itch like crazy. the extent of my annoyance/pain/irritation is such: if double-boiling my legs in molten gold was a guaranteed cure, i'd gladly do it.

this is one of the reasons that i've been missing training sessions this week. plasma + sweat = pain + suffering + yellow stains on white pants. so i guess i'll lay off until they heal up a bit more. aside from that, other...pressing circumstances have also ensured my absence. guess who's feeling guilty. something tells me that boss won't be putting me in the competition this year.

all right...with only a week and a bit left of the holidays, there's a logical conclusion that can be drawn: SLACK TIME!!!

...

very sadly, this would have been true if i was still in secondary school. even more sadly, the JC conclusion is quite the opposite, it's study time. arrgh. to be perfectly honest, i've not even started to study for the mid-years. not even a bit. seems like i'm stuck in the secondary school last-minute-syndrome mindset, doesn't it? even though i know that in theory, it won't work any more, a major part of me still wants to believe that it does. and i think it's this major part of me that, if not persuaded to think otherwise, will be responsible for my repetition of J1 next year. as such, i'd better cut down on slacking and actually get started on econs. it's so scary; just imagine. half a year's gone by and i'm still trial-and-erroring quite a bit of the questions in my TYS. it's the same for physics, although to a lesser extent. ironic, since i've had a 3-month headstart in econs.

next week doesn't appear to be that packed. collect photos on monday, collect lion on one of the first 3 days of the week, go down to marina south for a day...that leaves me around 5 days to study for 5 subjects. somehow, i still get the feeling that i'm not prioritizing efficiently since a subject a day seems relatively little. but then again, 6 months' work for a subject in JC is something like 9 months' work for the same subject in secondary school. of course, this is strictly from a science student's point of view. i think the arts students have an even greater workload, especially those who take 4 humanities. i really admire those crazy people. so, with nothing much more to say, i suppose it's time to end this entry. Besides, it's getting late. have to be refreshed for tomorrow's marathon econs session.

-thingy of the day: "Why do we fall? To learn to pick ourselves up." -Thomas Wayne, Batman Begins.-

I haven't done a large font exclamation for a really long time, but i think this peice of news deserves it.

MICHAEL JACKSON'S INNOCENT!!!!!!

my goodness. i feel so happy for him. and the worst part is, i don't know why!! heck, i don't even like his music all that much (although a few songs are good). maybe it's because i've been supporting him since the start of the trial. but anyway, i hope he gets over any trauma he may have suffered soon.

the verdict's got me in a really bouncy mood. it's as though i've scored a personal victory or something. although i'm not sure what i've been victorious against. with any luck, this mood will carry on through the rest of the holidays, and to the exams, which is where i'll really need it.

tomorrow looks to be really busy. i'll have to be out of the house by 8:15am approx, attend a meeting for the NYAA report, get my pictures developed, hunt around for that oh-so-cute madagascar lion, (hopefully) arrange a project work meeting, not to mention put in some study time for the mid-years. to make things worse, i have a strange feeling that this list isn't complete yet. oh well. no use worrying so far in advance. have to sleep now...early day tomorrow.

-thingy of the day: Minds are like parachutes. They work best when they're open.-

Well, i'm back from the NYAA trip. i must say, there have been many learning experiences, both good and bad. fortunately, the good far outweighs the bad. here are some lessons/morals in point form to entertain readers and ensure i don't forget them:

- Scary-looking people are not necessarily scary.
- Ego is VERY VERY bad.
- Be grateful for 24-hour electrical supply.
- Give everyone (including yourself) a chance.
- Too much of a good thing isn't good.
- The pace of life in Malaysia is very very desirable. Singapore's way too fast.

there are a few more items i want to add on to this list, but i can't remember them now. and i'm too lazy to go to my bag, get out the notebook, and decipher my messy writing. so the list shall remain this long until...whenever.

right now, i don't have much to say. fatigue's affecting my thought process. i think i'll continue tomorrow.

-thingy of the day: 3 days of canoeing makes one seasick.-

Insecurity. i think that's one of the predominant emotions in teenagers', or, in fact, everybody's mind. sadly, that's what i feel every time i meet up (either accidentally or through appointment) with old friends. for example, while running into Ming Xun (Mr. Mouse), who incidentally, is in RJC, at j8 today. while there are a number of reasons for this feeling, i guess the main one would be accociated with the slightly inferior feeling of being in a lower-ranked JC. now don't get me wrong - i love CJC and am proud to represent it, but the feeling of "i could have been somewhere better" will always be there. and to clarify, "better" is purely in terms of grades/rank. nothing else.

now that that's over, time to look forward. NYAA tomorrow, lasting until next sunday night or something like that. unlike before the pre-u seminar, i'm not feeling unprepared or inadequate. rather, i'm just feeling at peace. don't know whether this is good or bad. i get the feeling that i'm underestimating the challenges in store for me. anyway, i have to start packing. *hears gasp from readers* "he's starting NOW!!??" see what i mean by underestimating the challenges?

-thingy of the day: Missing another week's worth of training. This can't be good.-

On the bus from NTU to CJC, i was wondering about what would be the best way of starting and writing this post. i came up with several ideas (most of which i've forgotten), but the general idea is i feel that it would be impractical to do it on a "day one, day two" basis. this is because there were too many events and it would be near impossible to give an accurate description of all of them. so, instead, i'm going to highlight a few events that stand out from the rest. (note: this doesn't mean that the other things weren't special.)

well, the first thing that comes to mind is my group. personally, i feel that we were the most enthusiastic of all the participants. and, quite honestly, with such a diverse mix of JCs in our group, i was quite surprised that there was no JC discrimation/segregation. also, we were pretty much bonded by the second day. we had 3 wonderful SLOs, and the atmosphere was just amazing. actually, it went beyond just amazing. it was simply...unbelievable.

secondly, it was the activities. everything was done so smoothly. from transport to co-ordination and what actually happened during the events themselves, we were constantly on the move (except when we had to sit down). things were done pretty efficiently, and we adhered quite closely to the schedule. one particular event that stands out is kite flying. on a personal level, it gave a great sense of satisfaction as it was the first time in my life i made a kite fly. expanding the view a bit, it was beneficial for the group as well because it helped in the bonding. we did 3 kites - spongebob, IIVII, and a sort of "for fun" one, which basically operated on the wind-sock theory. sadly, i don't think any of these kites flew high or far (if at all), but that's not the main point. the point is, we all were united in trying to achieve the goal of making the kites. event #2 would be seminar night. it was so sad and happy at the same time. the best word to use would be "bittersweet". even though the adrenaline level was high, there was still this underlying tone of impending parting which sobered the mood a bit. of course, the sad songs helped too. i've come to realize that the SLOs are really emotional. they actually cried when we had to leave. i don't know why, but for me, the tears just wouldn't come. i'm not saying that i wanted to cry or anything; besides, it would be pretentious to fake it if i didn't mean it.

now that the superficial descriptions are over, it's time for the deeper-level stuff - reflections and insights. i'd have to say that the pre-u seminar has been the single biggest learning experience for me this year. it's taught me how to live in peace with another non-family person, how to have little sleep and find sufficient energy to be hyper, how to try and control my extra-spontaneous tendencies and all that. but i think the most important thing that it gave me was the new friendships. everyone in the group seems to be on the same wavelength, and that probably helped a lot in the bonding process. it also occurred to me that there is a great difference between the various JCs' cultures. for example, screaming your head off is not generally approved by CJC. and yet, i don't know how or why, but it's good for you. maybe i should introduce it or something.

there are quite possibly another 1549236 things that i could say about the seminar, but this entry is getting too long for its own good. to sum it up, all the words in the universe do not do it justice. the past 5 days have been simply wonderful, and the event gave more to me that i gave to it, and it will be something that i remember for a long, long time.

moving on, there's NYAA coming up. 7:30am on monday to be exact. and i'm not exactly packed. go me once again. i still have to get some supplies, such as a disposable camera, gloves and some other stuff by sunday evening latest. shouldn't be a problem.

-thingy of the day: I've come to realize that i'm addicted to oldies.-