Thought i'd blog a bit while waiting for the electric blanket to heat the futon up. there's one main thing on my mind, which i'll talk about first. after that, we'll see how i feel before deciding whether to blog about any of the minor things.

have you ever been told that to make money, you must spend money? i've heard it a couple of times, and put it into practice just yesterday. what happened was that i saw a really good deal on mercari. 4 gold-nibbed pens, including a matte black capless, selling for 29000 yen. i asked the owner if they would consider lowering the list price to 26000, and they agreed. so, i bought them. i have no intention to use all 4. i might keep 1 or 2 for myself, but the plan is to resell some/most of them. each pen would go for SGD 120 at the minimum, which means i'm looking at turning a nice profit. the thing is, i'll have to wait till i'm back in singapore to do the resale. it kind of makes me feel uneasy, but i figure that as long as i keep the plan and end goal in mind, it won't be too bad. also, i have to remind myself that i have sufficient cash now, such that i can put a couple hundred dollars into less liquid assets. look at me, talking all financial-like!

doing this made me remember a story about when one of my older cousins was in primary school. quite sure i wasn't born yet when it happened, but i was told that he used to buy a big bag of sweets, then split them into multiple smaller bags and sell them to his classmates. apparently, he made quite a tidy sum doing this! i suppose what i'm doing now is similar, but on a larger scale, as far as the sums of money go. perhaps the unease that i feel from this relatively small sum is another indicator that i'm not cut out for business.

part of me wished i'd tried to push the price down lower, but i'm reminding myself to think about the seller too. i mean, i know the market value of those pens, and i'm getting them for basically half of the retail price. it's already a decent deal, and i should be grateful that it went through. is this another positive effect that japan is having on me? because i know that on carousell, i'd ask for lower so that the seller would meet me somewhere in the middle. or maybe it's just a different business culture.

minor thing 1: the kids had a presentation test today. they were supposed to talk to me about their winter vacation. one kid did not prepare at all. like, totally blank note card, couldn't say a word when it was their turn to present. the thing i don't get is that this kid is not bad or lazy. as far as i know, they do work hard for english, and i get along with them decently well. the teachers tell me that there's been ample time and opportunity for everyone to prepare and ask questions, so i don't know what happened (i'm not at that school every day, so there are english classes that i'm not present for). unfortunately, it means this kid will get a C. i usually don't give out Cs unless the person doesn't say anything at all, and this happens to be such a case. i was also heartened that the 2 other kids who sleep/don't try in class actually managed complete sentences! granted, it was with a ton of prompting and help, but i'll take the victory because it's a marked improvement over their attitudes in terms 1 and 2.

guess that's all i'm capable of at the moment. not in the best of moods now, but that's mainly because i went back to try and clear the last fight in this current raid tier. after this, i might raid the next tier, considering that it should be released while i'm still on JET, but i don't think i'll keep raiding once JET ends. it takes up a bit too much of my brain space.

-random thought of the day: Ordered my JLPT certificate!-

Persistent disbelief that i'd passed, along with academic curiosity, prompted me to read up more on how the JLPT is scored. there's nothing official from the testing body itself of course, but reddit and a few other sites have suggested that item response theory (IRT) is used in the scoring process. the IRT wiki page turned up a whole lot of maths, so i didn't really take anything away from there. i saw some explanations that IRT takes into account the difficulty of the questions as well, so that more difficult questions are worth more points, as getting them correct would indicate a higher level of proficiency. i also read that at least for the JLPT, point weightages are also influenced by how a native speaker would answer the questions, so a higher score means more native-like japanese knowledge/thinking? well, i suppose i don't need to understand the exact mechanics of it. but one thing's for sure right now, i'm not going to take N1. saw a couple of sample questions, and just no.

submitted the grant documents this week. shouldn't have any major issues, i don't think. nevertheless, i had a kiasu moment and emailed them to check that my documents would be accepted. they said that apart from the cover sheet, all supporting documents could be emailed to them if need be. while that's a relief, i wonder why they don't just allow electronic submissions in the first place! but that's japan's bureaucracy for you.

this week was on the lower side of average, i think. might be due in part to the weather as well...it's harder to keep thinking positive when it's cold and miserable. thankfully, i'm still doing ok. although i'm a little concerned about my weekend routine...i've been getting out of bed around noon on saturdays and sundays. i mean, i wake up at my usual time, but then just go back to sleep. could be because the warm futon is so inviting, but i don't think that's the entire reason. just hope it's not a health issue or anything like that. my right eye is feeling some discomfort and pressure, which gets worse after computer use. incidentally, i read that the incidences of heart disease and stroke increase during the winter. apparently, the cold weather makes blood vessels contract. liquids have a harder time flowing through narrower tubes, so the pressure increases. good to know! i figure it extends to other fluids too, which may explain my eye thing. have to remember to drink more water to keep the viscosities of my various fluids down.

-random thought of the day: Groceries tomorrow!-

Contrary to my expectations, i passed the JLPT. during school hours, the other singaporean JETs mentioned on discord that results were available, but i was afraid to check it then in case it ruined my mood. before you go off on me for being overly pessimistic about how certain i was that i would fail, hear me out. the way the exam is scored is that there is an overall passing mark. for N2, it's 90/180. in addition to that, each of the 3 sections (vocab/grammar, reading, listening) has its own passing mark, which is 19/60. if you score below 19 points for even one section, it's a fail regardless how well you score for the other sections. i knew that i'd score decently for the reading and listening sections, but i was totally not confident for my vocab/grammar section. my final scores were: 44/60 for vocab/grammar, 58/60 for reading, and 52/60 for listening...for a total of 154/180. it was honestly a surprise, because not only did i change several correct answers to wrong ones in the grammar/vocab section, i also guessed a fair few questions there.

to be fair, i think i was helped by the bell curve. see, there were 75 questions total for the first 2 sections, and the combined score is 120. the conclusion is that some questions are worth more than 1 point. the thing is, the mark breakdown isn't revealed to us. so it's possible that they get the data of percentage correct answers for each section/question and assign marks accordingly. assuming that all the questions i got wrong were worth 1 mark each, i could have gotten a maximum of 14 questions wrong. 14 out of how many, though...i can't recall the number of questions for each section, plus we weren't allowed to bring the question paper home. still, i'm resolved not think about it too much. normally i'd say "a pass is a pass", but this goes beyond that. my score is actually really good this time! i'm definitely happy with it.

one thing that i absolutely must do is submit all the documents for the JLPT grant. JETs who pass N3 and above are eligible to be reimbursed for the exam fees (6500 yen). i was mentally prepared to need a second shot at the exam, so it can be said that i'm actually up a net of 13000 yen vs. my expectations. but i don't think that's how accounting works. the correct answer is probably that i broke even - i paid 6500 yen, and now i'm going to get 6500 yen back. i'm sure that my cousin could explain it to me with his accounting knowledge, but i'll choose to believe that i'm getting an additional 6500 yen to spend. makes me feel better, too!

what's the next step for me, as far as learning japanese is concerned? the logical answer is to prepare to take N1, but i have no plans in that direction. most japanese companies require just a minimum of N2, so i'm covered as far as that's concerned. well, i still have 2 windows in my remaining time in japan to take N1 if i want to, so i'll leave that decision to when test registration opens. advice to future me: don't. you've probably forgotten how difficult it was to study for the test.

before i forget, i wanted to blog about a weird dream i had. it was about one of my secondary school CCA teammates. we were on good terms, but didn't really keep in contact after graduation. if i'm not wrong, he went to NJC and subsequently NUS? might have been NTU. right, his facebook says NTU. anyway, the dream was that we were both platoon commanders in tekong, and in charge of a new cohort of recruits. i remember something happening in the bunks and us getting angry, and us laughing together about something else, but that's the extent of my recollection. the weird thing here is that none of us were posted to tekong as our unit! he was in an artillery camp, while i was in the most godforsaken camp on the island. considering that i've literally had zero interaction with him (save liking a few of his photos on facebook) since graduating from secondary school. i wonder why he came up in my dreams.

still in a bit of disbelief, so i think i'll just end off here. next post prompt: are japanese people close-minded? something that happened in class today points to yes, but i want to gather more data points before presenting my findings. i'll update when/if i can do further experiments.

-random thought of the day: Is this another sign that I should leave earlier?-

Blast from the past this week. over on NSFW twitter (yes, it's a thing; no, i don't post on it), i came across the profile of the navy scumbag from 2014. scrolling through it didn't evoke any feelings at all, which i think is a good sign. after all, it's good to move on, but the lessons learnt shouldn't be forgotten. i do wonder what happened to the other people in the love quadilateral, but i'm not going to spend too much time thinking about it.

in an odd parallel, one in-game event and one real-life event both had the theme of unmet expectations. the game one was that someone thinks that they should be liked because they're nice, and got upset when the feelings weren't reciprocated. i say "upset", but it was bordering abuse. having been in this person's shoes before, i understand the feeling. it sucks when someone you deem important doesn't see you on the same level as you see them. but the key point here is that an equal level of reciprocation is not owed to anyone. unfortunately, i think that we weren't very successful in getting the message across to this person. i'm hoping that further drama doesn't ensue.

the real life thing was that one of the kids told me something that i didn't want to hear, but absolutely needed to. like the above case, the reaction ultimately sets the tone for future interactions. the me from 10 years ago would have reacted badly, to the extent of taking extreme bridge-burning measures. but present me knows that as the adult in this scenario, that kind of reaction would be inappropriate. my goal is to handle it with grace, and come out of it with a stronger relationship. just have to suppress any knee-jerk reactions/emotions.

as you might imagine, this gave me a serious case of second thoughts. like, should i have opted to end this july? but after sleeping on it, i was reminded that i should decide when to end JET based on more than just a singular aspect of the life here. for instance, there are still things that i want to do, and more importantly, i want to wait for the exchange rate to recover a little more. also, as far as interactions with that kid and the class they're in, i shouldn't give up on the forest because of a single tree. anyway, ending JET this july would mean that i wouldn't have enough time to prep for the next stage. my plan is to have about 10 months to a year of lead time in case any difficulty crops up with getting an australia visa, and it'd also give me time to work out the details of my backup plan.

seems like i'm not fluent in japanese code language yet. the human rights centre asked me to help with an "english conversation session" for an after-school activity. i put it in quotes because what it really is is an outlet for the kids to vent off excess energy. i honestly don't think it's the best use of my time, not to mention it's after-hours work. granted that i get off-in-lieu, but still. the sadder thing is that it's not an unreasonable request, so it wouldn't look good to refuse outright. i thought the best way to decline would be to pull the "oh no i can't make it on that day i'm so sorry" thing, only to have it be countered by "no problem, we'll accommodate your schedule". i suppose the "right" thing to do would have been to be honest, but it's tricky in japanese culture. on the bright side, i can use the time off on the days my friends will be here.

forecast for today: cleaning. the focus will be on the living room floor - have to put things away so that it looks (and becomes) less cluttered. i also want to pack up some stuff that i'll be asking my friends to help me take back to singapore - shoes, stationery, and the like. it's kind of premature now, but i also want to start thinking of how to use all the specialty ingredients that i got. there's still 2 or 3 bags of tapioca flour left, which is my main worry. but i figure i'll find uses for them.

-random thought of the day: -

Over on the singapore JET discord, people were making plans to fly and visit each other in february and march. meanwhile, i jokingly commented that while everyone's lives were so happening, i'd be doing the same boring routine of school-home-repeat. all of a sudden, two friends separately messaged me, saying that they'd be in japan in february and wanting to drop in on me. life's funny like that, i guess. the first friend is E, and honestly, i'm a little apprehensive. it's mainly because my area is like really really remote, and he's a city boy through and through. but well, i figure as long as i give him all the info he needs, he's old enough to make his own decisions.

friend #2 is one of the chemistry guys. i don't think i've blogged about him in detail before - certainly not to the point of assigning him an initial or using any identifying characteristics to describe him here...not that i remember, anyway. i feel more...positive about this friend coming over, because i know he's capable of filling his own schedule and entertaining himself. thing is, i haven't lived with him before, but i think we'll be fine. to remind myself, they're coming on separate dates - i'd guess maybe from 10-13 and from 19-22 february. both of them have quite flexible schedules, so it's subject to change, but those should be the general date ranges.

i learnt something interesting about myself after talking to them. i realized that i need a big push to do tasks that i don't enjoy. like, knowing that my friends would be coming over gave me the impetus to start cleaning a little more vigorously. granted, there's still a long way to go, but i have 3 weeks left. plenty of time, if i tackle one big task or room each weekend day. i actually don't have a lot of stuff...but the fact that it's strewn around rather haphazardly creates the illusion of volume. or is it surface area? one or the other. good thing that the assorted special rubbish disposals (bottles, paper, etc) will all happen at least once in this period. just have to remember to prep all the rubbish and put them out on the respective days.

so far, the year's off to a slow start. i had my second COVID vaccine booster (4th shot overall), and took the past thursday and friday off school. coincidentally, the schools didn't do much on the first week back either, mostly proficiency tests. i feel quite bad for the kids in japan. not only do they have more schooldays than singaporean kids, they have more tests, too! i guess that's why a few of them weren't their usual lively selves for the couple of days that i saw them last week. hopefully that's just a temporary slump in their moods. for a brief moment, i fell into the trap of focusing too much on short-term phenomena. like, 'if they're going to be this moody, perhaps i should have opted to end my contract this year'. but that's a pretty toxic thought pattern. i know their baseline mood/energy, and having one or two days where they're below it is to be expected every now and then. i'm sure things will be more or less back to normal when they don't have tests in the near future.

recently, i've been browsing mercari, which is the japanese version of carousell. japanese people really give hefty discounts on their second-hand stuff! i saw a limited-edition final fantasy watch that sold there for half price. too bad i didn't see it while the listing was active; i would have got it for a friend who really wants it. it also makes me wonder how much money i'd save if i bought some stuff from there. right now, i have my eye on a pilot explorer (called the lightive, derived from light + active), and i'm casually browsing the capless pens to see if i can score a good deal. the cheapest i've seen one that is still in good condition go for is 8000 yen, or about a third off the retail price. i'm actually thinking that i might be able to resell these in singapore, where used ones still go for 3-digit SGD prices. we'll see!

february is going to be a really busy month! aside from my friends coming over, i'm due to fly to tokyo to meet some of the guildmates. JLPT results will also come back sometime in the near future. going to be zen about it. worst case is just retake only. still need to talk to the teachers about the english website, and how i can be utilized more/better in class. have to navigate that potential minefield carefully.

-random thought of the day: Temperature went up 10 degrees for the past 2 days!-

New year, new prices...what do you mean that's not how the saying goes? the GST in singapore is now 8%, and although it's numerically the same as japan, i think it's worse because the base prices are higher. the fact that the increase got pushed through is upsetting, especially since there have been logical arguments that raising it would make people worse-off in general, and that the ruling party had mentioned in the last general election that GST rates would stay the same. it gives me the impression that the government is losing money, and this is the way of making up the shortfall. of course, we'll never know, since the country's exact financial position/situation is a state secret. there have been multiple reports of billions lost through bad investment choices, though. by the way, this isn't POFMA-able or defamation-worthy, because it's an opinion. just putting it out there in case anyone gets trigger-happy.

seems like it's not isolated to singapore; the american pen shop where i intend to make my purchase also raised its prices. not by much...my cart total increased by maybe USD10 overall. but it's still an increase. perhaps i should make that purchase sooner rather than later. on the bright side, i realize japan sells the capless LS for under 30000 yen, brand new. going by exchange rates and all that, it's almost half price of what i would pay to ship it in. seriously tempting! but i'm not going to make rash decisions. i'll sit on it for now. since it's not a limited edition, the price should either hold constant or go down in the future. as long as i decide either way before i leave, it's all good.

officially, winter break is over. but since i'll probably be working only 2 days next week, my holiday mood hasn't evaporated yet. i'll tell you what has been evaporating, though - the surrounding moisture content. it's so dry! thankfully i'm not sick, unlike last year. could be wrong, but i believe it's my homemade humidifier. in spite of the humidity boost it's providing, i've been getting ulcers recently. probably haven't been drinking enough water. or it might be due to the bag of garlic mayo prawn crackers my JET friend gave me when she came by on a road trip...we'll never know.

-random thought of the day: Something's irritating my right eye.-

As i was thinking about what to write for this post, i realized that a lot of it overlaps with the last post. it's probably because i spent most of last year questioning my decision to stay, and thinking about my plans after JET. but for this post, i'd like to focus more on what i can do this year, and how i plan to prepare for the future.

mentioned most of it in the last post, but this year, i plan to be smarter about assigning work to the kids. now that i have a better idea of their overall workload, i know how much i can give without overburdening them. the idea is a short weekly assignment that will focus on one aspect of what they learnt in the week - new grammar, sentence structure, etc. i'm still thinking whether to do tiny tasks on a daily basis, or a bigger but still overall small thing over the weekend. will float ideas by the teachers in school. have to remember that we're supposed to be a team, and it wouldn't hurt to consult them.

outside of school, i'm planning to explore one new place a month. top of my list now is the pretty library and hot spring. i was kind of put off by having to drive a long distance, but i figure that i should expand my bubble a bit more. in a more extreme case, i might sleep in my car for a night if the place is far away.

considering a more intermediate time range from now, i'm considering going back to singapore for a visit. it'll probably be in the july-ish period, which makes me think that i might as well not bother since by then, i'd have only 8-9 months before i'm scheduled to go back anyway. right now, scoot is asking for about SGD500 for the round trip. it's within my means, but not strictly necessary, i think? either way, i should decide before the end of january, while the fares are cheap-ish. reminder to self: i have to do visa extension and driving license renewal sometime around that period too. have to make sure nothing clashes.

further into the future, i find that my thoughts have changed regarding the country i want to go to next. right now, i'd say australia is my #1 choice, singapore is a distant second, and japan is slightly after that. if i could work in an english-speaking IP firm in japan though, it would probably jump to a close second, or even edge australia out for first. realistically though, i think singapore will be the most likely destination, unless an australian company is willing to act as my visa sponsor. if you remember, i made initial contact with some australian IP firms last year, so i intend to follow up around mid-year or possibly earlier, just so there's enough buffer time for paperwork and whatnot. on the extreme opposite, i was briefly entertaining a fantasy about moving to america - seattle, washington, in particular. now i've said that i have absolutely no desire to live in or even travel to the states, and that remains true. i'd make an exception for this particularly city only because of this song:

it's probably heavily romanticized, but i kind of want to see the city through the eyes of the singer - find out why he sang about the city in the way he did. silly, i know, but it's just a fantasy. i think i'd like living in australia more anyway!

all that aside, i think 2023 will be relatively peaceful. i don't foresee major sources of conflict in both work and school, and there shouldn't be a reason why things would get worse. i guess there's nothing else but to enjoy my remaining time on JET, while taking steps towards the future.

-random thought of the day: Hopeful for a good year!-