Checked back with my friend about her australian PR application, and it turns out that while she didn't have her work experience officially endorsed by her previous employer, she had a 5-year service award which the australian immigration people accepted in place of an official endorsement. so, it seems that you do need some proof of work experience after all. if i'd known earlier, i might not have rushed to take the IELTS, and saved the $250 test fee plus additional costs from travelling to osaka! but i don't blame my friend, nor do i regret taking the test. to look at it another way, it gives me motivation to take action while my test results are valid. also, it gave me the push to go to osaka to meet up with scary JC friend. actually seeing her in person made me realize that i missed her more than i'd thought. i suppose that would apply by extension to other friends, and maybe even to inanimate things like food and places...although i don't see how i could miss singaporean food more than i already do right now.

going to stay away from the whole how to get PR issue for this post, and blog about some other things that happened in the past few weeks. in no particular order, of course. the first thing that comes to mind is that i've been asked to go to the nursery school for a 35-minute english session with the 5 year-old kids' class. i don't know how many of them there are, and i should really find out. going by the average class sizes in the primary and secondary schools, i would guess between 20 to 25. at least the secondary school's head teacher is going with me, so i won't be alone in facing the little terrors. i have a tentative lesson plan worked out, and i figure it'll be fine if i stick to it. at least it's only this once so far, so i'll count my blessings there. my supervisor did mention that i might have to go again in november, so i'm hoping that the teacher is back by then.

i did find it odd that i was asked to do this english session, because i'm officially a secondary school JET this academic year. but it turns out that being the town JET supersedes that. it should originally have been done by the primary school english teacher, who was teaching with me in the secondary school last year before she was transferred over to the primary school. her predecessor went last year without me, so i expected this year to be the same. but apparently, she's sick? the other teachers didn't go into detail, but from what i gathered, it's a long-term illness. another teacher hasn't been coming to school for over half a year, too. makes me wonder whether it's physical or mental. i'd understand it easier if it was physical, but if it was mental, i'm not sure what could have caused it. life here is relatively slack from my point of view, but then i'm also aware that the native teachers have a larger workload than i do. things like liaising with parents, CCA, the neverending paperwork, and more. i guess the important thing here is to have more empathy, and to remember that just because i don't see the problem, doesn't mean the problem doesn't exist.

summer is coming, which means that i should change up my menu. i still haven't got the concept of seasonality down the way that the japanese have. thinking that i should make an effort to do something about it, especially since it's my last summer here. the current thought is light, cold food...think salad, noodles, maybe even cold cuts. i'm actually really interested to try to make a "shooter's sandwich", presumably named because hunters brought such sandwiches on their hunting trips. my current plan is mustard, finely-diced mushrooms, garlic butter and/or mayo, steak, all in a homemade loaf which i'll compress somehow. that's supposed to enhance the flavour. i also have sweet konnyaku plans over the summer. i think it might blow my colleagues' minds, since they've only been eating konnyaku in savoury applications. we'll see!

today, i had a thought - should i just call it a day this july? my previous reason for completing this academic year in japan was mainly because i wanted to give myself time to settle PR/visa applications. but now that they don't seem likely to go through, that purpose is gone. the secondary purpose was to see my classes through to the end of the school year, but i'm now wondering if it's worth the time. i just did a quick count - i have about 10 months to go! could be because today turned sour towards the end, but it suddenly seems like a long time. it's times like these when i have to remind myself to think about the bigger picture (the exchange rate is still depressing), and to see things through to the end. i'm sure it won't seem as big of a deal tomorrow, after some sleep.

on and off, i've been thinking about what i want/have to do once i get back to singapore. first and most obvious would be making living arrangements. i'm tempted to ask my aunt if she'll let me stay with her, else i'll look for a place to rent. i've been thinking about getting a flat, probably resale because BTO takes too long. a 3-room would be good enough; i don't want to have too much space to clean. i'm thinking of commuting to work via bicycle, so that's something else i want to get. pity that shops in singapore don't seem to have the models that i'm eyeing...wondering if i'm going to have to ship one back from japan. separately, i also want to sell a lot of stuff once i get back. something that immediately comes to mind is that i'm going to approximately halve the number of pens that i have. goodness knows i don't use then nearly as much as i should. the smaller stuffed toys will go also...i'll keep maybe 5 or 6 max. ah well. future me can handle that.

-random thought of the day: I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be.-

Time to do that analysis i mentioned in the last post. the main goals are to see which country/ies are viable for my next step, and what i have to do to end up there. all data is sourced from the internet, and is accurate to the best of my knowledge. i take no responsibility (blame or credit) if you decide to use it.

australia

reasons for choice: australia is known for having a good work-life balance. in addition, the people are generally friendly and easy to get along with. they recognize LGBT relationships/marriages, which is nice. the weather/climate is better than singapore too, save for the hot summers.

potential negatives: crime, drug problems, racism, bogans (australian rednecks). chemical engineer cousin has written about her experience with bad neighbours, so i know a little bit. the cost of living in the city is high, too.

ways to get a visa: study visa, work visa, permanent residence visa, marriage to an australian citizen

study and marriage are out at the moment. i will have to do further studies in IP if i decide to go down that route, but that's after some years of work experience. marriage is a luck of the draw/random chance thing, so i'm not going to rely on that either. too unpredictable.

for the permanent residence visa, i'll have to nominate "chemist" as my job. "university lecturer" also exists, but it's not something that i want to do. the main issue here is that i need work experience of one year at the very least. so to fulfill that requirement, i'll have to find a job in a chemical company or a university if i'm desperate.

the work visa allows a bit more flexibility, in that i can also nominate "patents examiner". of course, the condition of a year's work experience also applies. it will also lead to permanent residency eventually, after 2 years of working under that visa.

overall: the permanent resident visa is the most appealing option, as it offers the most freedom. however, this means that i'll have to work as a chemist or university lecturer for at least a year. the patents examiner route will take longer, but it's more in line with what i want to do. either way, i don't think i'll be able to jump to australia immediately after finishing JET. target would be to do it before 21 may 2026, because that's the validity of my IELTS test.

japan

reasons for choice: it's japan! i've wanted to try living here ever since i was a teenager. i've also lived here for the past 2+ years, proving that i can survive here. plus, there are still plenty of places to explore, and guys to meet.

potential negatives: the language barrier, and having to learn scientific japanese to work in a field that interests me. the cost of living in big cities. low wages.

ways to get a visa: work, marriage to a japanese citizen

as stated above, i'm not going to consider the marriage option.

the idea for japan is finding work in a chemical or IP company. after looking at some companies' recruitment sites, i found out that they're offering about 250000 yen for fresh grads, and about 300000 yen for phds. i would consider it if the exchange rate was still favouring the yen, but now that it's about 1 SGD : 100 yen, that's a no-go.

a possible second option which i really really don't want to pursue is to teach english in japan. that's a lucrative industry, but i feel that it would eat away at my soul. maybe it's my personal bias, but i don't feel that teaching english is a substantial/significant career. and so, i don't feel that it would be worth my time to pursue. of course, i might sing a different tune if the (financial) reward was large, like...i would happily teach english if i could earn a million SGD per year or something like that.

overall: with all the difficulties/obstacles in combination with the low reward, perhaps it's for the best if japan remains a tourist destination for me.

singapore

reasons for choice: it's familiar, it's easy, readily-available support network, low/no start-up funds needed, being closer to friends and family, no visa woes or limitations job-wise, the food!

potential negatives: overcrowded place, high stress, ridiculous cost of living, not LGBT-friendly, bad living arrangements, dissatisfaction with people in charge.

ways to get a visa: what visa?

singapore is, in many ways, the logical choice for me. i mean, i grew up there, so it shouldn't be too hard to get used to it again. the main plus is that as a citizen, i can do literally any job i want.

but the main problem is where to live. i would rather pay rent than live with people who aren't good for my mental health. since i'll be over 35 by the time i'm back, i can look into applying for a HDB flat. but doing so would be a significant resource commitment, and in a way, it would make me feel "tied" to singapore. of course, i could sell/rent it out, but that's a separate issue.

overall: i could see myself living in singapore, or using it as a springboard to PR in australia. i wonder if i'm exaggerating the bad-ness of the situation in my own mind?

new zealand

reasons for choice: similar to australia, possibly more laid-back.

potential negatives: slightly too far, time zone way ahead of singapore, no suitable jobs for work visa.

ways to get a visa: work visa (limited jobs), permanent residence visa, marriage

although the application criteria are less stringent than australia, my preferred occupations aren't in demand there. i could enter based on the points system, but that would require 2 years of work experience at the minimum. good news is that my preferred occupations are tier 1 on the skills list, meaning that they're considered highly skilled occupations, and hence able to to claimed for points.

overall: surprisingly, listing out the facts like this makes new zealand not as appealing as i'd thought. i'd honestly thought it would be a close runner-up to australia, but that's not the case. still, i might try to apply there just to give myself more options.

current thoughts

there doesn't seem to be a plan that allows access to all routes, so i'm going to have to do something at the expense of another thing. in making this decision, i guess i have to balance my own desires with what australia and/or new zealand will find relevant/useful. unless i find something ridiculously good, japan is out of the equation.

the plan

right now, i think i'll mainly apply to jobs within singapore. the 3 main categories are IP firms, chemical companies, and IPOS. i'll start applying to australia after a year, and see where that takes me.

i'll also send a few feelers out to australia over summer break, in the off chance that any companies are able to sponsor me, or know about some visa stuff that i don't...but my hopes aren't too high here. no point sending applications to new zealand, since my occupations can't be nominated for their work visa, plus i don't feel too inclined to live there.

hopes/expectations

i'm a bit reluctant to write this part, because it feels like i'm setting myself up for disappointment if things don't go according to whatever i've said here. if you ask me now, my best-case scenario would be if an australian IP firm were somehow able to sponsor me and i could begin work in australia shortly after JET.

next would be acceptance into an IP firm in singapore, in particular, into one or both of the 2 that i'm most interested to join. if i do somehow end up getting my top choice and it's as good as i imagine, i might actually give up on the australia plan.

third is a chemical company in singapore. don't get me wrong, i still enjoy chemistry and have a healthy interest in it, but i don't know if i want to do it professionally any more. i kind of see myself transitioning into a more office-based/corporate role as opposed to a lab- or plant-based role. but well...if only a chemical company is willing to offer me something, i suppose that's what i will have to do for a year at least. after which, i will apply to australia.

back to regular blogging

that gave me some clarity. the most important takeaway is that australia will most likely only happen after another year or two at the earliest, so i should prepare myself to get used to life in singapore at least for that period. i think the most important thing for me is to maintain an open mind to whatever opportunities come along. hopefully i'll do what's best for myself in the long run.

-random thought of the day: Have faith!-

Got a real "good news-bad news" situation going on now. good news first, i passed the IELTS. better than that, i got 9.0, which is the highest score possible. scored perfect 9's across the board, except for writing, where i got an 8. while i have to admit that it sounds pretty impressive, it was somewhat expected? i am a native english speaker, after all. i was a little surprised by the speaking section's result, since i thought that i was kind of disorganized and spoke too fast. maybe it's like my friend said - the examiner's been conditioned by the low average level of english, and was happy that someone who could speak naturally came along!

bad news though - my australia visa application's stalled. turns out that the skills assessment is non-negotiable, and part of it is passing the work experience requirement...which i can't do. does that mean i wasted $250 on the IELTS? while it could be seen that way, i'd like to think that i'm preparing for the future, because most countries will accept test results that are up to 3 years old. so that gives me until 2026 to get the other stuff in order.

with this wrench in the works, i started thinking about other possible destinations, such as canada. it's not my first choice, primarily because it's too far. that got me thinking in turn...too far from what? as i'm sure most people do, i judge distance relative to a "base". i've identified that i still think of singapore as my base. should i change that mindset? i don't know. whatever the case, i've realized that i don't want to move too far away from the region. a quick google mapping tells me that i'd be ok with a maximum distance of about 6500km away from singapore. so that's basically anywhere in southeast asia, japan, korea, taiwan, australia, and if i'm willing to go another 2000-ish km, new zealand.

in the next post, i want to talk about possible plans for each country that i'm considering. the current list is singapore, japan, australia, new zealand. ranked by ease of entry from the easiest, it's singapore, japan, then new zealand and australia are basically tied. or new zealand might be a little easier. based on desire though...australia, then new zealand and japan are tied, singapore. sucks that the countries i most want to end up in are the most difficult to enter! i'll also talk about the plans i've considered/am considering. good chance to see if anything's changed from the last time i've thought about this.

-random thought of the day: Need more sleep!-

I've let thoughts build up for too long, to the point where my brain was starting to feel too full. didn't help that (1) work and the changing seasons have been making me feel more tired, leading to the recent post drought; (2) a lot of things happened fairly quickly over this weekend. i think there are 4 main ideas i want to talk about today, and maybe a couple of smaller points. not going to set a hard limit, but i'll be conscious to not ramble on for too long.

IELTS

the only reason i'm taking this stupid test is for the australian visa application. i'd say that it's about O-level standard to a native speaker. the reading section was easy; i'm confident for full marks. might have mixed british and american spellings for the writing section, so that might pull my marks down a bit. i lost focus for one part of the listening section (identifying buildings' locations) and didn't properly hear whether one building was "along" or "across" the path...though i'm betting on the latter. not entirely satisfied with my performance for the speaking section. i feel like i didn't speak sufficiently in depth, and might have spoken too quickly in general. at least i got the examiner to laugh; that should help my score!

reminders to myself here: i have nothing to prove, as far as my english ability is concerned. translated - i don't need a perfect score. as long as i get a band 8 and above, that gives me the maximum score for 20 points to count towards my migration eligibility/desiredness. my predictions as of now are 8.5 for listening, 9.0 for reading, 8.0 for writing, and 8.0 for speaking. that would average me out to 8.37, which rounds down to a band 8. i could live with that. assuming my first 3 scores are as predicted, i could get as low as 6.5 for speaking and still make the 8.0 average. the results will be released from 3-5 days after the test, so we're looking at it being as early as tomorrow, or by friday at the latest. not going to think too much about it for now, but i think if i need to retake it, i'll probably do it over the summer break. here's hoping that i won't need to, though!

osaka plus personal revelations

it was my first sightseeing trip to osaka since starting JET (the passport trip doesn't count since it was just business in osaka, then everything else in kobe). i feel like i could get used to living there. unlike tokyo, it feels less crowded, and the population density drops quite rapidly with distance from the city centre. that means i could potentially live in relative quiet while still remaining close to the office. that's assuming i find something in osaka that allows me to do IP in english, of course.

throughout my stay, i also engaged in some people-watching. i realize that i still have quite unhealthy perceptions about what i'm looking for in a partner. maybe i'm being what reddit calls a choosing beggar...although to be clear, i'm not desperate to get into a relationship. but i think i'd like to be in one though. it's not that i'm afraid of being single, but having someone to lift me up would be great.

scary JC friend

related topic, i met scary JC friend in osaka yesterday, before i had to take the night bus back to kochi. sometimes, i wonder how we became such good friends, and what i ever did to earn/deserve her friendship. i guess her being one of the first few people i ever came out to helped! i sometimes think that she overestimates me. or maybe i'm underestimating myself. or both.

one prominent theme of our conversation yesterday was the idea of "wanting something bad enough". her philosophy is that if you want something badly enough, you'll find ways and means to get it. i agree with it for the most part, with the caveat that some obstacles are simply too huge. or maybe i'm just not allocating/utilizing my resources efficiently, or that i need to want it more.

in-game drama

final fantasy has this feature that allows you to get married to another player character. it doesn't affect gameplay in any way, but it does give you a two-seater mount (depending on the wedding package chosen) and a ring that allows you to teleport to your partner. so, an acquaintance decided to get married after knowing this other person for barely a month. i attended the ceremony as a guest, and personally, i felt it was rather cringey. not the ceremony itself, but the vows that this person had written. cheesy "you are the sun in my life, i will love you forever" stuff. stop me if you know where this is going - the marriage didn't even last a month. then the person is now doing the whole heartbroken emo thing. i don't know...it doesn't seem significant enough to cause a person to be so torn up about it. then again, people process things differently, and at least i'm not affected except for the involuntary shudder when i chance upon their emo posts on twitter.

those were the main things, i suppose. i also read that being proficient in a community language can get me 5 more immigration points for australia. but i'd have to sit for a spoken on-the-fly translation test. that's not the worst part. it costs AUD 800. not worth it, in my case. i listened to some recordings for japanese and chinese, and i realized that my vocabulary isn't good enough for either! strangely, i feel more confident for japanese vs. chinese, despite being able to speak the latter for longer. i guess the main reason is disuse. i speak japanese every day, whereas i only infrequently speak very broken chinese with my friends on discord. don't think i'll be using that after all. or i might, if i get desperate. but for now, wait for IELTS results and finish the expression of interest.

-random thought of the day: Horribly sunburnt.-

Short vent/rant. i'm upset with myself! accidentally reversed a corner of the car into a wall, and there's now a set of large scratches there. it happened because i was trying to use an alternate (unfamiliar) route to get past an old man who was not only driving slowly, but randomly braking along the road. i can overlook slowness, but having to start/stop really drives me mad. could have avoided it if i'd taken a different route, set off a little earlier or later, been more careful/vigilant when reversing, or changed any of the countless variables that led to things unfolding as they did. i suppose what's important at the end of the day is that nobody was hurt. and i'll be selling the car in a year or less anyway. don't think this will affect its resale value too much, right?

-random thought of the day: This will be an unforgettable memory in the future.-

Used those 8 heads of garlic that i bought a while back. 5 of them got grated/minced and then went into a soup, while 2 more went into garlic butter. i had intended to make a cream soup, but decided to leave the cream out at the last minute. it still turned out delicious! my mistake for garlic butter was cooking all the minced garlic in the butter. while it was still garlicky, it lost most of that spicy edge, and the garlic paste gave the butter a mealy texture. not good for spreading cold, but fine once warmed up and melted. next time, i'm going to cook half, then mix the rest in after the butter cools. might also do a fine chop instead of grating it into a paste. i think grating makes the garlic cook too fast.

garlic butter naturally leads into garlic bread. while i did buy a loaf from the store, i also decided that it was time to use the yeast i bought many months ago, and made another loaf from scratch. the results were comparable to the sourdough loaves i'd been making (ok, perhaps slightly inferior), but the time savings, my goodness. commercial yeast works so fast! i went from measuring ingredients out, to finished loaf in about 5 hours. this is in comparison to feeding the starter (or worse, making it from scratch), making the dough, letting it cold proof to develop flavour...we're talking at least 36 hours. i could have probably done a longer second proof and gotten a better crumb structure with the commercial yeast loaf, but i'm not complaining with what i got.

as part of preparation for the IELTS, i've been watching youtube videos on mock speaking exams. not so much to model my behaviour or language after the candidates, but more to get an idea of what potential questions may be asked. i think that i can handle it just fine. writing is now the biggest worry, because like i mentioned a while ago, i haven't really written anything essay-like for the longest time. i figure that as long as i look at a wide variety of possible question topics, and attempt some practice questions over the next week and a bit, i should be good to go. i'm just hoping that they give me a question that i have some background knowledge of.

speaking of youtube, the new (well, not that new by now) shorts feature is a massive time sink. i think it's playing on the brain's need for stimulation. play a short video packed full of content, and leave the brain craving for more. i have to be more conscious about not losing entire chunks of time to it. i did, however, chance upon a creator who posts dance instructional videos. he's chinese american, and looks cute! straight, though. i mean, not like i'd ever meet him in person even if he were gay, so i don't know why i felt disappointed about that. i realized he looks like one of my secondary school classmates, who i had a severe crush on back in sec 1 and 2. it was doomed from the start, anyway. unlike his exterior, this classmate's interior wasn't that good...but i suspect it was just immaturity. anyway, we went to different classes in sec 3 and 4, then got put in neighbouring classes in JC. i just went to google him. apparently he's really doing well for himself - managed a few companies, started up some of his own, and appears to be some high-flyer.

hearing news that others are doing well generally doesn't affect me negatively. i think that even if we didn't get along, my reaction to hearing that people are successful/doing well for themselves is usually, "that's nice, i'm happy for them". there are, of course, exceptions to this...but those are markedly fewer in number. off the top of my head, i can count about 5 people in my life so far, give or take. i think that's not bad!

-random thought of the day: Cleared one raid, one more to go!-

Bad dream last night. most of the details have escaped me as usual, but i remember 2 things clearly - in the dream, china was attacking wherever i was. i don't remember whether it was in singapore, japan, or some other country. and the dream ended when i woke up just as someone (in the dream) threw a grenade into the room in which we were hiding. i seem to recall it being a singapore-style classroom, but not much else. anyway, that happened at 3am, which is rare. i usually sleep through the night. in fact, i don't remember the last time i woke up like this.

got my parking lot booked, so that's a load off my mind. i think this arrangement is better - drive to the bus terminal and park there, then take the bus to the destination. best thing is that parking is free! the drawback is that because the bus terminal is owned by JR, i'm limited to buying tickets from them in order to get carpark use. good news though, the bus fares are fairly standard, so it's not like i'm paying a ton extra or anything. all that's left is packing. i'm not a very pack-in-advance sort of person, so i figure i'll do that as early as a few days before, or as late as the night before the trip.

heard some bad(?) news at the smaller school today. the sec 1 kids told me that they weren't allowed to join the baseball or volleyball teams, which means those CCAs are going to be retired once the sec 2s and 3s graduate. it'll be faster for baseball, because there aren't any sec 2 members. it does make me a little sad, especially when you consider the clubs' histories. but well, i guess it's to keep up with the changing times. the current school population just can't support a full baseball team, and as i understand it, the volleyball team is cutting it pretty close too (no reserves). it's not all bad, because word is that badminton is a new CCA that they're setting up. makes sense, from a headcount point of view, since you technically only need 2 people at the minimum for badminton!

-random thought of the day: Monitoring hotel prices!-