4 days later, and i'm somewhat on the road to recovery. nose is much better (though it still gets blocked at night), fever is gone, though a cough has started. i've been sneezing and coughing so much my stomach muscles ache whenever i have to cough or sneeze again! now, i'm no medicine student, but i thought of a theory. its tentative name is "secondary illness". you know most of the time you fall sick, then you end up developing another ailment thanks to the first illness. like at first, all i had was a running nose. some days later, a cough developed, and that's become my main source of discomfort now. or maybe there's a simpler way to explain the phenomenon.

been studying japanese for the last 3 days (including today). i'm at the point where i think i know everything, but i'm also sure that the sentence patterns and grammatical forms will be twisted around somehow. not to mention testing vocabulary from the reference words section, which i only started reading today. i really don't know how things will go tomorrow.

-random thought of the day: Not much else to say.-

I'm hot. or rather, i should say that i'm radiating a lot of heat to avoid misinterpretation. if you know me in real life, "hot" would probably be one of the last adjectives which describes me. anyway, i'm grateful that i made it though the paper fine. the questions were a little odd, especially the compulsory question. luckily, i managed to remember some tricky things, like the difference between specificity and selectivity. there were some things which escaped me though, mostly minor things. considering the ridiculously competitive cohort, i'm hoping for a B+ or A- at least.

as i've promised, i'm dedicating this weekend to getting better in exchange for having made it through the exam ok. my body seems to be holding me to my word, as my symptoms seem to be worsening. a fever's coming on (which is good, since that's your body fighting the bad stuff off, right?), cough is getting worse, and lethargy is setting in too. i should probably have an early night. hopefully the worst of it is gone by tomorrow night.

-random thought of the day: Recover!-

Figures that i'd fall sick the day before the first exam. of all the rotten timing! suppose i should have expected it when i started feeling the symptoms yesterday. after all, uncle murphy hasn't visited in a while. my damage control measures so far include drinking lots of water, and a couple doses of flu panadol. with any luck, i'll be well enough to make it through the paper, after which i have the rest of the weekend to fall completely and utterly sick. then, back on my feet by monday morning, to start on japanese. of course, i can't predict the future, but i hope something along those lines does happen.

don't know for sure what caused this sudden bit of flu...but if i had to guess, it's probably from sitting too close to one of my sick-looking friends yesterday. why wasn't my immune system able to ward the bug off!?? as a result of being sick, i wasn't that productive today. just read through the notes a couple of times (come to think of it, that's actually what i've been doing for most of the week). thankfully, i've been consistent with studying so far this week, so i didn't lose out much from a day of reduced productivity. actually, apart from reading the notes, i don't really know what else to do. the application is kind of...unpredictable.

on the way back home yesterday, i met the only sec 4 SJI judo boy this year on the train. his exams are over, and he's giving tuition now. was nice to see him after something like...4 months? got a few updates about the current CJC/SJI training situation. seems like the timing is such that i may be able to go back for the last couple of training sessions this year. but for now, getting well in time for tomorrow's exam is #1 priority...which means i should try to sleep early.

-random thought of the day: Get better!-

Got home a little earlier today, so i figure i'd do a mid-point update. of course, i mean mid-point of reading week, not the entire exam season. that comes next thursday. so far this week, i've been focusing solely on med chem. while spending the whole time on one module may seem unwise, i've got 5 days between each exam to study for the following module.

don't know why, but i feel like i know everything there is to know for med chem. might be because i went to see the professor for consultation today, and got most of my questions answered. problem is, i know that my friends can probably ask questions which will stun me. well, i've still got 2 days to gain more confidence. not forgetting the earlier part of the module, which requires more memory work than anything.

as i was walking home today, i nearly collided with one of my neighbours as i turned a corner under my block. he was riding a bicycle, and luckily he stopped in time. i'm actually quite puzzled by my reaction, which was to freeze on the spot. being trained in martial arts, i thought that i would have reacted faster to get out of harm's way. that could be accomplished by either avoiding the bike, or altering the bike's path by kicking it or something. was it because of the speed, which didn't give me enough time to react? or was i too tired after studying in school? maybe the subconscious realization that i would hurt him if i knocked the bike away prevented me from taking action? i don't know. but it's kind of interesting to discover my reaction in this kind of sudden, on-the-spot situations.

how would you write an email to your superior/boss, requesting for help (assuming you have a purely working relationship, and are not close enough to be considered friends)? i bet about 95 out of every hundred readers who see this will go something like "dear so-and-so", and try to be as polite as possible. one of my friends just emailed our med chem lecturer, and started the email with one word - "hi". not only that, he was rather...well, not really rude, but direct. his email was basically "can you tell me this? thanks". not to mention he signed off with just his initials. the horror. i felt so bad reading it! how did i come to know about it? because he CC'ed all of the chem kids (ie. within our group of friends) who were taking the module. i don't know whether i'm more embarrassed or annoyed that my name was attached to such an email.

but wait, there's more! the lecturer was nice enough to reply with a detailed answer. and my genius friend was...well, genius enough to use an emoticon while sending a thank-you note (once again with ALL our names in the email)! i mean, have some social awareness, man. there's only so far this kind of...awkward behaviour can be tolerated (and i'm fast approaching the limit). if you're sending an email to your peers, that would be ok (though i'd still be more polite if i was asking for help). despite working for my professor for coming to a year now, i still begin my emails to him with "dear prof..." and sign off with "yours sincerely". seriously, if i was the lecturer, i wouldn't have bothered replying. and that's partially why i'm sometimes reluctant to help this friend with whatever he asks from me (usually grammar and general english checking), because the tone of his email seems to take it for granted that i will help, and that i'm somehow obligated to.

anyway, the schedule for tomorrow and friday looks about the same. you guessed it, more med chem. maybe now that more people are starting to study it (they were preoccupied with other modules before), there'll be some constructive dialogue, and i can find out if my knowledge is really as complete as i think it is.

*minor update from my phone* I just saw an SMS that my dad sent. He transferred $1000 to my account earlier tonight. That just spoilt my whole night. Other than for school fees, I won't accept any allowance or extra money. Is that so hard to understand!?? I'm actually tempted to go withdraw the money now, because I'm actually having trouble sleeping just thinking about it. Annoying to no end.

-random thought of the day: What causes poor social skills?-

Aches and pains are slowly becoming a part of my life again. reason being that we're practising for the kata competition. in fact, i woke up feeling ridiculously sore last monday, despite not doing all that much. this week's session went better than last week's, i think. we're more focused, and it also help that my senior bought a tablet (samsung something or the other, galaxy tab i think) so that we have the videos on-hand for easy reference. worked on the holds and escapes today, since we agree that they'll require the most time. i've got the basic idea, but i still can't execute some of the escapes well...particularly those that require rolling backwards. seems like whatever little core/lower back strength i had has up and left after so many months of not training. also, my hair is still posing a slight problem, even after cutting 4 finger-widths off the end. maybe it's time to revert back to a more guy-like hairstyle.

i've been talking to the federation president and a few other appointment holders before our practice sessions. seems like the federation is understaffed, and needs some help, particularly with computers. after taking a look at their computer set-up, i can see that they really do need help. they have decent hardware...just they they don't know how to use it properly! everything was saved on the 50gb SSD, while the 1tb hard disk was completely empty. so, i was thinking of going down to the federation to help out during the december break. it's not official yet though, it also depends on how behind i am with the research in school. the other thing i noticed after reading through some official notices and information guides is that their english standard is quite horrible. can't blame them, since i believe most of the judo elders are chinese-educated. what kind of bugs me more is that they don't proofread their stuff, or if they do, they don't catch all the mistakes. hopefully i can do some good while i'm there.

yesterday, i was mildly annoyed at having my plans disrupted. i had planned on staying late in school (like 9:30pm or so kind of late) to study med chem. however, my dad SMSed at 5:30pm to say that we were going to my cousin's place. normally, that wouldn't affect me. this time, however, i had to go home early to give the car back. actually, i'm not so much annoyed that i had to go home early. rather, i'm more annoyed at the kind of late notice. because we had plans to go to u-town to celebrate another friend's birthday, but i had to cancel last minute. it seriously makes me not want to take the car any more, in case something like this happens again. kind of sucks.

next week is probably going to be study non-stop. got a couple of appointments with my med chem and japanese lecturers, to clarify some stuff (med chem) and to get feedback (japanese). i can't quite decide whether missing lab is a good thing or not. taking a break from lab is nice i guess, but studying isn't exactly on the top of my favourites list. well, it's not really my choice, is it? have to do reasonably well this semester to secure my second-upper. on a slightly more worrisome note, i feel a running nose coming on. exam season is probably the worst time in the academic year to fall sick...unless you fall sick while rushing for deadlines. hopefully it clears up after a night of sleep.

-random thought of the day: My gi's fitting feels weird.-

No matter how prepared i think i am, i have the horrible tendency to mess up oral presentations. like today's japanese oral interview. while it went pretty smoothly, i forgot to use plain form for one roleplay scenario (the card said "you are talking to a close friend"). luck also wasn't really on my side, as i drew a pretty challenging topic ("what does your country import/export, and where from/to?"). compared to other easier topics, like "your dreams for the future" or "a recent bad experience", it was harder because it required some actual knowledge, and not just personal opinion. good thing i was paired with a malaysian, so we naturally talked about water. guess it was kind of lucky after all, in a roundabout-ish sort of way. just wish that the good ideas would come during the interview, not as i step out of the room.

other than the oral, i received my second organometallics test results. i got 41, which was the same as the first test. unfortunately this time round, it was upon 63 instead of 50. after the lecturer went through the answers, i honestly think a 50+ would have been achievable, provided i read one of the questions more carefully, and didn't misinterpret the phrase "fourth-period transition metals". a quick (rough) calculation shows that i've got 29.4% out of the total 40% of the CA component. not bad, but could have been better. still, i think i'm satisfied.

my mentor asked me to stop lab work and focus on exams. i had wanted to do one more synthesis before reading week, but it doesn't seem likely now. speaking of finals, i've got 3 of them, spaced 5 days apart from each other. med chem is first, followed by japanese, then organometallics (oh wait. i mentioned this in the previous post too). it's both kind of good/bad that the content-heavy module is first...gets the heavy studying out of the way. like last semester, i don't think i'll do a study schedule, since i know roughly what to study and when to do it.

oh. nearly forgot. on monday, the same few of us went to the suntec guild house again. main reason was because it will be closing soon, and secondary reason being that tuesday was a public holiday (but i went back to school anyway). had a couple of drinks and some quite intimate discussion...that kind of sounds wrong, doesn't it? what i mean to say is that we discussed a topic that isn't really good to spread. that aside, it's nice to know that my friends regard me as close enough to have this kind of conversations with. it's a bit sucky that i can't really open up to them 100% yet. it's something wrong with me, not them. eventually, i guess.

since tomorrow's japanese conversation tutorial is cancelled, i've got a free day! i'm actually thinking of taking a day off, since i'll be in school practically every day to study for the next fortnight or so. at the same time, i'm tempted to do a major cooking project, just to make sure i don't get any weird cooking urges during exam season. of course, by "major", i mean my usual stew/soup-type thing. just thinking what kind, and how much of the ingredients to buy.

before i go, i'll leave you with a song which i've been listening to quite a lot in the last few weeks. can't believe it took me 24 years to come to know of its existence.

-random thought of the day: Self-control is important.-

The week passed pretty quickly, so much so that some of the details have slipped from my memory. however, there were a few significant things that i DO remember.

japanese tutorials ended this past week. we're left with the oral interview (next wednesday) before the final. thankfully, i got paired with my first choice of partner. i think we'll do ok, but i've got a lot of grammar revision to do in the next couple of days. it also helps that we've arranged to meet up once tomorrow and again on tuesday for practice.

we also had the second organometallics test on wednesday. good thing i scored well for the first test, because i know i messed this one up. based on preliminary calculations, i've lost about 14 marks (upon 50) for mistakes i know i made. add on those mistakes i didn't spot, and we're looking at a pretty bad score. fingers crossed for this wednesday, when the test comes back.

some good news, lab-wise. the new compound was made successfully...i think. though it looks a little yellow, i'm hoping that the NMR comes out nice and clean, or at least with acceptable quantities of impurity. following that, the next bit of lab work is to synthesize more compounds. just in time too, as my ordered chemicals just arrived. only issue is that exams are coming soon, so lab work will stop for a couple of weeks. nevertheless, the chemicals won't run away, so i've still got some time before progress report in january.

this weekend, i've met more horrible/inconsiderate drivers than usual. things like stopping just after a junction, not looking out for traffic when turning, among others. it's quite amazing how people can act so righteous even when they're clearly in the wrong. in my opinion, people who are in the wrong should behave more...meekly, i guess is the word. like when i drove too close to another car and accidentally knocked its side mirror out of alignment. through the other driver's exclamations and gestures, i just kept apologizing (in gestures) before driving off. i don't know how they can live with their conscience. or am i just too considerate? is there even such a thing?

put my gi on for the first time today since july or so. i met my senior to practise for the katame no kata. since it's our first time, my expectations weren't too high. even then, i still think i'm in pretty bad shape. there's a 95% chance i'll wake up with multiple aches tomorrow, especially in my lower back and right elbow. i also realize that i've forgotten the sequence of escapes for the holds section. have to watch the videos a bit more for them to sink in. at least the competition is some months away, which gives us time to get better. there's also the slight issue about my gi (my most comfortable one is torn, so i've got to get a new one). also, i foresee a haircut coming up in the next few months, though the exact length has yet to be determined.

after 4 months of not keeping in contact with the judo world, there have been come massive changes in the federation. not going into the political stuff, but it seems that things are moving forward now. of course, i don't know the full story, so i may be misinformed. as long as a policy improves the standard of judo in singapore, i'm in favour of it.

next week is the last week of school! don't know whether that's a good or bad thing, since exams are coming closer. my exams are pretty well spaced out...med chem 2 saturdays later, japanese 5 days later, and organometallics 5 days after that. lucky i found out early, because until a couple of hours ago, i had thought that japanese was first, followed by core modules. now that i know, i can adjust my study plan accordingly.

week 13 looks pretty slack for once. don't think there are any major events aside from the oral interview. still doesn't mean i can slack though. have to start on med chem early, especially remembering the structures of those damned amino acids.

-random thought of the day: Going to guild house tomorrow!-

My dad asked me a pretty interesting question on the way to school today. the question went, "how much is parking on-campus?" the fact that he asked me this has got me thinking. i've come to 3 possible conclusions. either it was one of those questions to break the silence (unlikely since we've had longer, completely silent car rides), or he's asking to help him make a decision on whether: (1) to get me a car, or (2) to let me use the car we currently have. of course, i could be reading too much into the simple question, as is my unfortunate tendency. then again, it's kind of weird to ask this kind of question without having something related in mind, right? like for example, why would i ask my friends if they're in school, if i didn't want to meet them in school for something or another? anyway, if he wants to let me use our car now, i think i'd probably decline because his job involves going all over the country, and to do that by public transport would just suck. at least i only need to travel twice a day. while i know i shouldn't get my hopes up, it's hard to not anticipate something that you really want (regardless of how low the actual probability is).

the year 1s had their practical test today. and now that my group's done, it means the end of my TA stint this semester. i found it pretty amusing (and mildly worrying) that the students made some really basic, unexpected errors. i mean, i can't make this stuff up; it's too stupid. you have no idea how many times i had to turn away to hide the incredulous look that was threatening to spread across my face. too bad i can't blog about the mistakes now, since there are another 2 more groups of students who haven't taken the test yet. i'm quite pleased (and proud!) that my "usual" group of students (the ones i've been taking for the past 10 weeks; the TAs were switched up today) were the first complete group to leave the lab. and the day's best crystals came from one of my students! so happy. looks like the long emails and effort taken to push them in regular lab class was worth it. still debating on whether to TA next semester or not, but as i've said before, it also depends on december's research progress.

while idly browsing youtube, i chanced upon full-length japanese romance shows. they're either movies or TV specials...the latter, if i had to guess. it's interesting to try and figure out what they're saying (i still need subtitles, sadly), and also, the storylines are pretty interesting too. this could become a pretty time-consuming habit.

lastly, i am quite annoyed. my clothes are going missing! i've searched the most likely venues, but i just can't find a few pairs of shorts. and it's been about 3 weeks since i've sent them to wash, and i doubt laundry takes that long. wonder where they could be? think i'll look harder tomorrow. but for now, i've got to sleep. quite an early day tomorrow.

-random thought of the day: Still feel unprepared for organometallics.-

Something i ate yesterday has been playing havoc with my digestive system. without getting into the details, let's just say that i've been to the toilet a lot. not sure what it is either, since i didn't eat anything from somewhere i haven't tried before. good thing group meeting was cancelled, because i don't think i could have sat all the way through a presentation without appearing uncomfortable. anyway, i'm feeling ok-ish for now, and i hope that feelings gets better by tonight.

yesterday's column failed. not sure why, but i couldn't get the compounds to separate. well, one last try sometime next week, and i'll move on and change to other substituents if that doesn't work out. it's mildly frustrating, but i think the next time will work out.

managed to survive tuition with TKGS girl thanks to a couple of charcoal tablets. she's got SPA next monday, and i think she'll do ok. after all, how can a simple titration be messed up? we also agreed to stop tuition for the rest of the year, since her school ends on tuesday and there won't be much new content. guess that it's good, since it gives me more time for research on saturdays. could use the extra time, especially as the deadline for progress report approaches.

recently, like over the past 2 weeks, my dad has been dropping me off at school about twice per week on average. don't know if our schedules just happen to match, or if he's taking extra effort. while i do appreciate the time saving and convenience, it's a mildly annoying experience because (as i've mentioned before) i have some issues with my dad's driving. really, he's the kind of driver i'd not want to share the roads with. once again, i can't really say anything bad, because i'm receiving a favour. if i could choose though, i'd much perfer to be driven back from school, since i'm usually tired. that's a bit harder, considering my ending time is kind of variable. but well...nothing wrong with the circle line. at least the train ride is smoother than the red line.

upcoming events include the year 1 practical exam on monday, tuition with army boy tomorrow, and perhaps kata practice. though with my stomach acting up, i'm tempted to put the practice off for a week (or more, since exams are coming soon). depends on how i feel tomorrow. and to my horror, i found out that the organometallics test was scheduled for wednesday, and not friday like i originally thought. at least i found out early, and have tomorrow to study. kind of scary, since the test covers the remaining two thirds of the notes. still, i think i'll get by.

-random thought of the day: Nice, cool night.-

One fundamental principle/concept of science is that experimental results should be reproducible. that means if the procedure is followed exactly, the outcome should be the same regardless of who does the experiment. so, it kind of sucks that i get different results from 2 repetitions of the same experiment. oddly enough, the reaction DID complete in about 15 minutes this time, as the paper said. this is in comparison to more than 2 hours for my previous experience. anyway, the reaction itself was fine, but the problem now is the column. i must have used 2 litres of solvent already, and i'm not getting my desired spot. either that, or my product was mistakenly identified as waste, and thrown away. i'm still hoping that it's in there somewhere when i continue the column tomorrow. yes, i know it's not a good practice to leave columns hanging, but it can't be helped sometimes.

got my japanese mid-term back yesterday. surprisingly, i got 37/50, which is way better than expected. made mistakes with the reading and fill-in-the-blanks as expected, and annoyingly, there were some careless grammatical and particle mistakes. shows that i'm still not reading as accurately as i'd like, especially under pressure from the time. what kind of scares me is that despite the paper's difficulty (mostly due to time constraint), the average mark was 34.99/50, or about 70%. somehow, i get the feeling that it didn't achieve the lecturer's objective of being a discriminating test. but i don't know. all i can do now is hope that the standard deviation was really narrow.

seems that i was wrong about ending tuition with army boy next week. A-level chem paper 3 is next tuesday. paper 2 is a week or so later, and paper 1 is another week or so after that. he still wants a couple of sessions more, so the last time i'll see him should be 2 weeks later. as of now, i'm kind of worried, because he's making mistakes that he shouldn't be making at this time. my expectations aren't high, but i'm still hoping that he pulls a miracle off.

think i should go off to sleep soon. my goal is to finish the column before med chem at 2:00pm tomorrow, as i'm also meeting my TA lab group in the evening to prepare them for the practical exam next monday. one thing that i didn't remember in time was that group meeting this saturday is cancelled as my professor will be overseas attending some conference. despite that, i'm still tempted to go back to lab. we'll see if there's a need for that, depending on how things work out tomorrow.

-random thought of the day: Week 11 is ending!-