Cycling gave me numb fingers. so i decided yesterday was going to be the day that i cycled to the next-furthest district in the town. google maps tells me that the distance i covered (one way) was about 7km, and i took 40+ minutes at a casual-ish pace with periods of harder pedalling. not bad for my first long-distance ride! on the way back though, i felt some numbness/tingling in the last 3 fingers of my left hand. first thought: heart attack. but i figured it was something else after i didn't feel any other discomfort. a quick online search told me that it was probably due to a nerve getting pinched somewhere, probably at my wrist bones. odd thing is, i'm only having this issue on my left hand. my right hand is completely fine. well, not to worry. it'll probably resolve itself in a few days. if not, i'll have it checked out soon.

third sourdough loaf done, and i'm quite sure that i overfermented this one. it was left out for about 10 hours, all in. to add another complication, i overbaked it, and the top is basically black. but it tastes good, though! also went to splurge a bit on the fancy fermented butter. next experiment is to use less starter, but i think i'll do that later in the week. also going to change starter feeding to alternate days, because i think it's more or less established and doesn't need as much babying.

brownies are baking away in the oven as i type. with luck, they'll come out ok and in time for lunch break at the board of education (i'm on leave today). that's one more item off my "want to try" list! also for future reference, here's the recipe i used.

ingredients

200g butter

120g brown sugar

120g white sugar

100g unsweetened cocoa powder (dutch-processed optional)

~5mL vanilla essence

pinch of salt

2 eggs

80g flour

method

preheat oven to 160 190 °C

melt butter without browning it.

add sugars, cocoa, vanilla, salt, mix to combine.

add eggs one at a time, fully incorporating each one.

add flour and mix to get a homogenous batter. it should be quite thick.

line an 8-inch (~20cm) square pan with baking paper.

pour the batter in, bake until done (test doneness with toothpick in the middle).

leave to cool, and serve.

i'm having a small issue with the baking time - the recipe i'm adapting says 20 minutes, but it was still very liquid for me at that time. maybe i converted the temperature wrong. no, the recipe said 325 °F, which is approximately 160 °C. i'm going to make an executive decision and bump the temperature up to 190 °C. that works for cookies, so it should be ok for brownies too. this puts a dent in my time management today, but i figure it'll be fine. now the problem is i may have overbaked it, because my toothpick went past the wet crumbs stage and came out absolutely clean. either way i'm sure it'll taste decent, but i did want that dense, moist texture. i'll find out after it cools.

my cousin called yesterday. he's taking care of the kids while his wife is on holiday. guess he needed someone to talk to. he was telling me about this thing where a fund takes over a business, installs you as CEO, and pays you well to turn a profit. somehow, my scam sense started tingling. not that i think my cousin is trying to scam me; i trust him to place my interests before monetary gain. but it's just a "sounds too good to be true" thing, and you know what they say about those. well, i figure i'll keep an open mind. maybe he'll have some experience in it by the time i go back, and there'll be a way i can join in.

live update: brownies turned out great! moist, dense, yet airy. oxymoron, i know. i'll let them cool a bit more, then shower and bring them into the office. other tasks for today include getting the basic structures out for two more science videos.

before i forget, the biggest news that came out of the national day rally yesterday is that singapore is set to repeal section 377(a) of the constitution, the one that criminalizes sex between two men, even if it is consensual. to me, it seems to purely be a move to gain political mileage. consider this: there have been 3 or so constitutional challenges for its repeal in the last 10-20 years, and each time it's been shot down by the judge claiming "singaporeans aren't ready". what changed? why not do it earlier? i mean, i'm happy about it, but it feels disingenuous. moreover, the fact that the government has been adapting policies put forward by the opposition many years ago does nothing to dispel this image.

more than anything, i'm happy that this will shut a specific group of people up, namely the group that has no opinion of their own, and takes the law at face value. you know, those people whose opinion is purely "X is wrong because it's against the law" - nothing deeper than that. i can't stand them because the law is written by man, which means it can change! to form such a simple, un-nuanced opinion like that is a waste of brain potential. anyway, i hope that they stick to their guns - now that it's no longer illegal, they shouldn't have issues with it. to quote a pro wrestling catchphrase from the 90's - "and if they're not down with that, i got 2 words for them...suck it!" best part is that if a guy objects, sucking it actually won't be illegal soon! i'm stupidly proud of myself for coming up with that. can't wait to drop it in a conversation when the repeal is finalized!

it's not all sunshine and rainbows, though. the government also said that they would protect marriage as being between a man and a woman. so overall, it seems like this whole exercise is to throw the LGBT community a bone while appeasing the religious fundamentalists, making it a win-win for the government. honestly though, i'm fine with this personally. i don't intend to get married, so the definition of marriage doesn't affect me at all. but for LGBT couples who do want to get married, they will argue based on the premise of equal rights. and here's where i think we can afford to think outside the box. LGBT couples don't follow the mainstream. so why should we confine ourselves to campaigning for equal rights to be recognized in a marriage? instead, i think effort would be better spent pushing for civil unions/partnerships. let LGBT couples have all the benefits that hetero couples get, just call it something else. perhaps this is the wisdom that comes with age speaking, but i think we should pick our battles better, aim for minor victories instead of charging straight for the end goal. but well. i'm interested to see how this develops.

not sure when it started, but for maybe the past 3 weeks or so, i've increasingly been feeling that it might not be the worst thing in the world to return to singapore. a large part of it is due to the lifting of COVID measures - masks are soon to be required only on public transport and in healthcare facilities. in japan though, we are at wave 7 of infections, and if my news is right, japan is currently leading the world in the number of new infections. it does get tiresome to live under this atmosphere of heightened caution. at least my town is adopting a kind of "we're all in this together" mindset, so the communal suffering makes it easier. and on a related note, i just want to say how lucky i feel to have not caught COVID yet. this is in spite of travelling to tokyo and akita, the numbers in my town slowly rising, and having kids who were/have been contacts of COVID patients. of course, this is most likely to be "grass is always greener" syndrome.

is it me or is it getting dark earlier? my weather app says sunset today is set for 6:45pm, which is 45 minutes earlier than about a month ago. i hope this means that the weather will start cooling down soon, because i'm absolutely melting.

-random thought of the day: Last batch of cookies tomorrow!-

Stepping on the scales today was a huge mistake. i found out that my weight's gone up like, 2kg since 2 weeks ago! ok, fine, it's not a mistake - it's made me aware of the issue. knowing there is a problem is better than not knowing, willful ignorance or not. at least, that's what i believe in. i guess it might have to do with the bread, and the increased quantity of butter that i've been having as an accompaniment. i guess i could cut back on baking and starter maintenance.

on the topic of baking, i'm happy that my workday baking plan worked. i posted pictures of the 2 loaves i've baked so far to a sourdough discord, and the feedback i got was that my dough looked underfermented. i've got 2 ideas to test that proposition - i'm going to let my dough sit out for longer (that's ongoing now), and i'm also going to use less starter to give myself more buffer against overfermentation (tomorrow or monday). this kind of thing is actually kind of subjective, isn't it? i mean, as long as the bread has good taste and texture, the stage of fermentation doesn't really matter. at the same time, i want to see if i can push myself to make something better. even if i fail or think that it's not worth the extra effort in the end, it's still a learning experience.

unfortunately, i missed a deadline this past week. it was for the final exam of one of the free online WIPO courses that i've been doing. while it is annoying, it's by no means the end of the world. in fact, i'd say that it might actually be a good thing! see, they have this course on repeat every so often, and it will help me burn a few days with deskwarming next summer break. not to mention that by that time, i'll probably have forgotten most of the content, so it'll be a good refresher.

in my considerations on when exactly to end JET, i've always taken the approach of minimizing "pull" factors, or things keeping me tied to japan. things like wanting to get my JLPT certification, seeing the kids through to the end of a school year. what if i considered it the other way round, ie. things pulling me away from japan? maybe that might give me a different perspective.

for one, there's my career. this is probably the biggest thing pulling me away from japan. the only 2 productive things i could do with my science background here are teaching and research, neither of which i want to do. and like i've said before, while teaching english is a completely respectable profession, it's just so mind-numbing! and there's so little to show for one's efforts. so no.

the second pull factor away from japan is the people and things in singapore. i haven't been back to singapore at all since the start of JET (yes, it's partially my fault too), so i do miss seeing some people in person. they were supposed to come to japan, but COVID killed that idea really quickly. and while i have been able to create pale imitations of some singaporean dishes, there's no beating the real thing.

surprisingly, the third thing is kind of influenced by/a result of the first 2 things. it's about happiness. i'm happy in japan, don't get me wrong. but the happiness i'm feeling now comes from living a simple uneventful life. while there is a time and place for that kind of happiness, it's not that time for me yet. i want to make good use of my youth while i still have it. not that this isn't a good use of my time (else i wouldn't be here), but there are more rewarding things that i could be doing, both in the financial and fulfillment senses.

does this change anything? no, not really. i asked myself hypothetically - if one of my IP firm prospects called me right now with a job offer that had a non-expiring open start date, when would i choose to start? i'd be happy to start in april 2024, as per my current plan. but in terms of moving it sooner, i think the absolute soonest i'd go is august 2023, ie. as soon as my current contract ended. i did consider april 2023, it being the end of this school year, but i don't think i'd have spent enough time with my favourite class if i were to leave then.

while riding to and from work, i've been thinking on and off about things i want to get to once JET is over. the one thing that's come to mind most often is a new phone. by the time JET ends, i'll have had my note 8 for 5 years and a bit. i think an upgrade is justified. also, i had a minor scare this past week when my SIM card couldn't be detected. so it's probably a combination of those 2 factors. i'll probably go for another samsung, but the exact model depends on what's available at that time.

the next thing is a bicycle. singapore isn't the most cycle-friendly place in the world, but there are park connectors and other places where one can cycle. plus, i want to see if i can commute to work by bike. google maps says going from sengkang to the office of one of my prospective employers takes about an hour, which would you believe it, would be the same time taken if i were to travel by train! i haven't thought about the specific model at this point, but my 2 must-have features are belt drive and cargo space (racks, etc.).

for now, the final big thing on my list is a new computer. if i'm going to be based somewhere for a long-ish time, i think it would make sense to invest in a good computer. my laptop is coming to 6 years old, although it's only seen less than 2 years of heavy usage. my biggest concern is if it were to die on me suddenly. i'm not too keen on building a PC here, or getting another laptop, for that matter. but let's not jinx things.

yesterday or the day before, i did a pretty 犯贱 thing to myself. i went to google both favourite SJI boy (name change: let's call him O from now on for absolutely no good reason at all) and lawyer guy. those are names you haven't seen in a while, right!? it wasn't for want to reconnect to them or anything; just curiosity about where life has taken them in the intervening years. through the power of google and social media, i learnt that O is now in NUS. going by his age, he should have just started his third year. i can't tell whether he joined judo in NUS or not, but it's not important.

lawyer guy has completely stopped final fantasy. well, he stopped in the middle of last expansion, so...2 years or more ago? definitely before i left for japan. it's to be expected, with his high-flying law job and all. it seems that he moved on from his workplace that he was at when he was with the guild, and is now some big shot in a huge tech company. i wonder if he managed to find a partner.

google also returned me some image results as part of the search, and i was quite taken aback by them. i can still see O's basic features, but his face got a lot rounder since the last time i saw him in person. that would be when he was in sec 4? J1? 2015 or 2016, basically. lawyer guy's photo still kind of matches the memory of how he looked like when i last saw him, but i wouldn't immediately connect the photo to him with no background/context. it's partially due to his face filling out a little and his hairline going up. no judgement or negative implications, it's just something that happened as time went by.

managed to send in more slides for checking, so it looks like i'll be fine. just have to make 8 more videos in 3 weeks to finish this order off. lucky the bulk of difficult content is done; the remainder appear to be quite short. also, this coming week is the last week of summer break. i'm quite looking forward to getting back to going to the various schools. both because it's more mentally stimulating that sitting at my desk the whole day, and also because being more active will help to keep my weight down.

-random thought of the day: Book dentist appointment.-

Update that i got the countdown timer wrong - i'd set it for end of april instead of end of march. so i'm actually 2 weeks further past the halfway point than i'd thought. it's corrected now, so i have less than 600 days left to go in this posting. unlike the countdown to ORD, i feel neither happy nor sad about this. it's just something that...is. although i will admit that i'm not entirely looking forward to my future living arrangements, because between my low rent and huge (for me) living space, i have it so good here it's probably spoilt me.

in happier news, my sourdough experiment went really well! it's night and day compared to what i did last year. if i had to guess, i'd say that my starter is stronger this time round, due to having had more time to develop. also, i got a bit better at handling the dough and building the gluten network. main points to improve on would probably be the crust being too hard (excessive rice flour used to prevent it from sticking during final proofing), and the bottom of the loaf being slightly gummy (got too eager and cut into it too early; it's ok now that it's had the chance to cool and relax). the texture is great - i got what they call an open or lacy crumb, with nice big air bubbles. it's also less dense than regular supermarket bread, and the flavour! while it's not vinegar-sour, there is a faint but definite note of something else.

since i got 2 bags of flour at clearance price from the supermarket, i'm going to be baking more bread. ideally, i'd have the whole day to do it, but since i don't, i'm going to try and figure out how i can prep and bake around my work schedule.

day 1 morning: feed starter, mix flour and water

day 1 evening: combine starter, salt, dough; stretch and fold; shape

day 2 morning: score and bake loaf, leave it to cool

day 2 evening: bread ready for eating

the plan looks doable, but i'm a little uncertain about the execution. well, that's what test runs are for! while i'm tempted to increase the hydration a little and otherwise play around with the variables, i figure i'll see if i can replicate my previous success first. if that goes well, then it's tweaking time. looks like my oven is going to see increased use for the remainder of summer, as i'm also halfway through project cookies for town hall. if only i could use my official working hours for that!

-random thought of the day: So many fruit flies!-

Taking leave on friday plus a public holiday on thursday means that it's now day 3 of my 4-day weekend. contrary to my plan of being more active in summer, i find that the oppressive heat is more excuse to stay indoors! it's all a mindset thing, actually; anything can be an excuse if you don't want to do something. but yes, i'd better get to it. according to the newest countdown timer on the right, i am just about at the halfway point on my JET journey...assuming i leave at the end of march 2024.

i also forgot to mention that i'm officially a third-year JET! well i have been for 2 weeks. it isn't really front-page news, but it's a good reminder that i'm making progress in my own way. the more tangible benefit i'll see is a pay increase from this month, but i'll only get the paycheck in the middle of next month. i'm not sure, but i think resident tax might go up too. that's for next year's me to worry about.

went to run some errands today, and while i got them done, i'm not quite happy about it? let me explain. first order of business was a haircut. the stylist cut it a little too short, despite me showing her a photo. the hairstyle makes my head look too round, but it's not a big issue. hair will grow back, after all. i should have said something when i felt how liberally and strongly she was using the clippers. challenge for myself next time: describe the hairstyle i want without using photos. it'll be a good challenge for my japanese skills.

the haircut was part one of a bigger task: to get my photo taken for my passport renewal. while there are self-service photo booths in my town, i figured that having a professional do it would be a safer bet. here is one example of the technology paradox in japan. first of all, they charged close to 2000 yen for 2 photos. i would expect to pay about $10 for 4 photos in singapore, so to get half as many photos for twice the price is actually a fourfold difference in value. but the more annoying thing is that they charged an extra 1100 yen to make it available for download over the internet. their other option was to burn a CD for me. it's so ridiculous to waste a 700mb CD for just 50kb of data. admittedly, i did ask for a CD in singapore, many years ago. not sure if they have alternatives now, but even then it shouldn't be that expensive. i even brought a thumbdrive along today in the hopes that they would be able to just save it there for me, but no such luck. to their credit though, the photo turned out well enough, though i can't shake the feeling that i've been taken for a ride. hopefully ICA doesn't reject it or find other problems with my application.

somehow today felt like a meh day. like, most of my days average a 7-8 out of 10 on the happiness scale, but today was a...4? not due to any one particular thing, but just the overall feel of the day, i guess. although there were a couple of good things - making my first sourdough loaf this year (i have high hopes for this one, with my new starter), successfully submitting the passport application (getting one important thing off my mind), and buying glutinous rice. i'm particularly excited about the last one, because it's the last ingredient that i need to make a kueh that i quite like. come to think of it, i haven't had it in at least 10 years, i think? pretty sure i haven't seen it since the start of undergrad. if i get that done, there's just one more item on my desserts bucket list - choux pastry. yes, it's been there since last year. i haven't done it because i haven't built the confidence up yet. but after this additional experience and having made pastry cream several times, i think i might give it a shot by the end of summer.

-random thought of the day: Chinese practice cancelled tomorrow!-

Happy weekend! i didn't get much done, but i somehow felt quite fulfilled nonetheless. the original plan was to go to the neighbouring city to get a haircut and passport photos taken, but the hot weather was a real disincentive. it's ok; i can do it this weekend, or latest by the following weekend.

first good thing that happened was i taught chinese! a japanese acquaintance wanted to learn, and i guess my name came up when they were sourcing for chinese speakers. this first class was quite basic, mainly focused on getting the pronunciation of the tones right. i find it interesting that japanese people consistently have pronunciation problems, even with different languages! initially, i thought it was a problem restricted to their learning of english only, but that doesn't seem to be the case. this convinces me that early exposure to a language is vital for good absorption and the ability to speak it like a native. sometimes youtube recommends me videos made by westerners living in china. and while their grammar and vocabulary is superb (even better than mine), you can tell that they're foreigners just by listening to their tone and inflection. to be fair, it would be the same if a singaporean were to learn a far-flung language - something like hungarian or some african language with sounds that we rarely encounter in this part of the world. so, my takeaway here is to expose the younger kids to english sounds more, and to have more patience with my older kids. japanese people generally don't get much exposure to other languages.

next happy thing is that my sourdough starter doubled in size from yesterday to today! there was a period of 3 to 4 days last week where i was worried because it didn't grow at all. while i was tempted to throw it away and restart, it's a good thing that i kept the faith and continued feeding it! i wonder if it was because i changed the brand of flour and it needed some time to stabilize. hopefully that's not the case. the flour i'll be using for baking is different from the one i'm using for feeding. i'm looking forward to start baking, probably over this long weekend.

this weekend, my raid group cleared the ultimate raid that we've been working on for the past 3 months! ultimate is a step up from savage, which is the level of raid that i usually do. although the one that we cleared is the easiest of the 4 ultimate fights in the game so far, it's difficult enough that only about 1% of players do it. so i can say that i'm in the 1% for something, i guess. the sense of accomplishment (and the nice shiny weapon) is nice, but i don't think it's worth the time and effort. the raid team has plans to do another ultimate fight at the end of the next raid tier, but i don't know if i'll join for that one. it's even harder and we're likely to spend even more time getting through it.

it's not a happy thing exactly, but something i saw made me pause to think and give thanks. so the story is this: facebook runs a ton of clickbait posts showing articles, celebrity gossip, all that stuff. i usually scroll right past them, because i know their usual source (reddit) and i don't want to generate revenue for them or waste my mobile data. but this picture made me stop:

for context, the two people in the photo are actually the same person, just 6 years apart. before is on the left, after is on the right. in those 6 years, his weight just about doubled, from 150 pounds (~70 kg) to over 300 pounds (~140 kg). my first thought when i read the story was 'why!?'. as someone who has always leaned closer to the right side of the picture and who is trying to achieve the left side, i feel that it's such a terrible waste. i don't know why he did what he did, but according to the articles, he's been diagnosed with attention-seeking disorder, ADHD, and a few other things. to his credit, he's making tons of money posting mukbang videos (it's a korean thing where people film themselves eating huge quantities of food), and deliberately makes drama by breaking up with his husband, only to get together again a while later. it's not up to me to judge him, but like i said before, i think it's a huge waste that he traded his looks and health for money and fame.

watching some of his content also made me aware of my superficial bias. when he was thin and better-looking, i could stomach a lot of the things he did that i thought were annoying by saying things like, "oh, it's just his personality"; "it's cute when he does it". but when the version of him on the right did something similar, my first thought was more like, "how gross". so yes, looks matter to some degree. but knowing what i know about him, i don't want to associate with him no matter how he looks.

falling asleep at the keyboard. time to have an early-ish night and wake up earlier to bake cookies.

-random thought of the day: Why are there so many flies!?-

Not even a month back from akita, and i'm already planning my next trip. in my defense, i do have a few legitimate reasons. first of all, this trip is to the osaka/kobe area, and it'll probably be in the last week of november/first week of december. the primary purpose of the trip will be to collect my renewed passport. i've got to renew it within the next 2 weeks, to have the collection time line up nicely. the second reason is because i saw that i had an email from my professor when i checked my NUS mailbox on a whim. it was to ask me to do some survey (the department wanted to know how we're doing after graduation), but the conversation kind of grew from there and he mentioned that he'd be coming to japan in late november for a conference. it's going to be held in kobe, which is relatively near to me. so, i figure the plan will be i go meet him and the lab in kobe and go to osaka to collect my passport in some order, then either (1) come back to kochi to take the JLPT, or (2) arrange to take the JLPT in kobe or osaka.

i'm going to be a bit smarter with accommodation now. instead of hotels, i'm looking at airbnb places. i saw one going for 3000-ish yen a night in kobe, so that might be worth considering. have to plan it well though - maybe 2 days in osaka, 2 days in kobe, and 1 day buffer in case i need to wrap up loose ends in either location. as for transport, the bus seems to be the cheapest option. but honestly, i kind of want to drive. it's about 300km, and is projected to take about 4 hours one way. the toll is 4000-ish yen. factoring in parking and petrol, the total cost should be more expensive than the bus. but convenience! well, i still have some time to think about it.

also, had a video call with the subject head that i'm working together with for this unit. my impression of her improved after our chat, but i'm still not 100% on board with her teaching style. ah well. people are different. i just hope that whatever i submit won't get bounced back (too much).

-random thought of the day: Half day off tomorrow!-

Deskwarming week 1 is over, and it's about as exciting as it sounds. i've been trying to find things to do to pass the time. was easier last week due to the speech contest, but i spent today basically reading reddit and doing some WIPO online courses. at least it's something productive, right? good news is i have some activities lined up for tomorrow and wednesday, plus i magically have half a day off on friday. these things should help the week pass faster.

the reason for the half day off is because of the speech contest, where i gave a speech. didn't do it last year, because i didn't have any interesting topic ideas then. my speech's title was "the japan i don't know", and i talked about my akita trip. it went well! lucky i had ample practice time, both in the town hall and at the actual venue. several colleagues gave me positive feedback, and one even said she wished the speech was a little longer! that would have killed me, though. self-assessment...85%. i think i spoke a little too fast, and yes, i should have wrote a longer draft. but for a first attempt, i'm more than happy with how it went. even getting soaked in the typhoon in the morning couldn't put a damper on my mood...although it literally was a damper. lucky i had the smarts to bring my formal clothes to the place and change there!

i've probably mentioned this before, but teaching so many levels means that i encounter siblings. it so happened that a brother and sister entered the contest. their family (parents and younger brother) turned up to support them. apparently there's also an oldest brother, but i think he's studying in another prefecture. it was quite heartwarming, to watch the older brother (15) interact with the younger brother (9). almost makes me wish that i had such a relationship with my siblings...but that's a can of worms i don't want to open now. i'm perfectly fine with things remaining status quo.

free time has caused my mind to wander. i'm still thinking about whether i should stay until april 2024. time really doesn't wait for anything. my sporadic kaypoh at the NUS chemistry page showed that a popular organic chemistry professor just retired, as did his brother in the physics department. there have been changes to the support staff, too. i recognize maybe...40% of them now, compared to 90% when i was in grad school. even in my old lab, there are still a few familiar faces, but i don't know every single person there like i used to. it's natural, i suppose...but it still feels weird.

here's the plan and my current thought. my contract is till august 2023. i will add on another half year (well, technically 8 months) to see the kids through to the end of the school year. there are other factors affecting the timing as well, like the COVID situation and the exchange rate. perhaps it's a bit premature to be thinking of this, but i do want to attend this year's sec 1 kids' graduation ceremony. it will mean flying back to japan about 10-11 months after ending JET, but i'd happily make the trip.

going to end here tonight. i'm scheduled for a video call with the A-level subject head for the online video thing. based on our email correspondence so far, i don't think i like her working style very much. hopefully that changes after our chat.

-random thought of the day: Sleepy.-