Scientists shouldn't believe in astrology, right? the proof is mostly anecdotal, not to mention the vagueness and cold reading make it unreliable at best, a hoax/scam at worst. i mean, if i say something like "you may have been feeling unappreciated recently", i think that would resonate with the majority of people, regardless of horoscope. also, there's the bad habit that people have of trying to fit happenings into what they believe it's true.

with that in mind, i find it a little hypocritical that i identify strongly with what is said to be a typical libra trait, which is that libras abide strongly by their own set of values, and get extremely upset/defensive if the values are challenged. the latest example is a mercari experience which i had earlier this week. i'd listed my faulty sennheisers for sale (with full disclosures about their condition) for 7500 yen. this particular person offered me 3000 yen in a lowball. i counteroffered 6800, and he tried asking for 6000. i didn't reply because i was at work, and he finally caved and agreed to 6800. then, when i acknowledged his offer and changed the price, he asked for 6000 again. the value of mine that this comes into conflict with is "say what you mean, and mean what you say". to be fair, it's not hard and fast. i have wiggle room about this in the form of disclaimers, not making firm promises unless you know for sure, and accepting that things beyond our control happen. this wiggle room is especially essential when living in japan. but when someone explicitly agreed to something and later reneges on the agreement without good reason...no, i can't take that. if he had offered me 6000 from the get-go, i would have been more likely to say yes. some people may think that i missed out on a fast sale, but i don't mind, because i'm now more willing to walk away in this kind of situation, especially in this case when (1) i'm not in a rush, (2) i believe someone will come along eventually, and (3) i don't mind even if it doesn't sell. i think that's a sign of growth!

seems like i wasted too much time in booking the bus...there are zero seats available for my return leg, and i will have to cut my trip short by a day. i actually consider myself extremely lucky to get a seat on the return bus at all, because it was the very last seat available on the whole day's list of buses. going to keep my eye open for potential last-minute cancellations that open up a seat on my original intended day. reminder to self: i have until 11:59pm on 23 december to cancel the osaka hotel, same time on 24 december to cancel the kobe reservation, and i have to pay 100 yen to cancel each leg of the bus reservation after completing the payment. the payment deadline for the bus tickets is 5 december, but i'll probably pay for them over the weekend. that also means that i must at least try to submit the UK visa application by 23 december so that i can find out early whether i can get a biometrics appointment. i was actually surprised to see the buses being fully booked on the 29th. but thinking about it a bit more, i guess it's because most people are going back to their hometowns to spend the new year.

finally, after bearing with it since at least the start of this academic year, i finally lost my temper at a sec 1 kid. the actual duration that i've been holding it in is probably longer...since this class was in primary school at least. the thing that i hate about this class is how uncooperative they are. and this kid in particular...sleeps and talks with his friends during class, doesn't participate, doesn't do work, and still has the audacity to say that he's sad when his test results are poor. the thing that made me snap was how flippant he was when the main teacher was scolding him. the teacher was asking if he'd done his corrections for the recent end-term test (we were going through the answers in class), and he simply said "yeah yeah, i'll do it later", which everyone knows to be a lie. it was the first time on JET that i've wanted to break out obscenities in dialect and singlish, but that would be more trouble than it's worth. out of the 114 secondary school students i have in total, there are maybe only 5 or fewer who have good enough english for me to be ok with them sleeping in class, and this particular kid in question is nowhere near making that list.

however, i can't pin the blame 100% on the class. the teacher is...not good, to be polite about it. i simply cannot get behind her teaching philosophy, which seems to be "repeat something long enough and it'll work its way into your brain". and while some amount of repetition is necessary, pure mindless repetition will only lead to one-track inflexible thinking. it's bad to the point that the essay question for the test was exactly what we'd covered in class. and this was communicated to the students, which means most of them prepared/memorized model answers and regurgitated them during the exam! in fact, one of the students actually brought her draft to show that she copied it 100%, and asked why she didn't get full marks in the test. the reason is because there was a simple grammatical error that i may have deliberately or accidentally not highlighted. but i did ask her to go back and read it over again on her own, so i'm covered. if i'm being honest, i actually felt quite pleased to deny her the mark.

on top of that, the teacher made the sec 2 kids sit a retest because they didn't do well. ok, i can swallow that...but not when the retest consists of the EXACT SAME QUESTIONS AS THE ORIGINAL TEST. so, as expected, all the kids were frantically memorizing answers, and more than a few of them memorized without understanding, as evidenced by the mistakes they made during the retest. i mean, at least change the nouns! like even in maths, you can test the same concept but change the numbers. and to top my list off, the test papers she sets are literally the worst i've seen in my time on JET, because there are so many typos! i would be upset if i was a student taking an exam with a paper riddled with mistakes. there was also one fiasco where a student received the wrong exam paper, but i don't want to get into that now. and it's not like she doesn't have the resources to avoid that - i'm RIGHT HERE. yet, she's never asked me to proofread her exam papers. she could avoid all of that, and yet, no. it's not like i'd refuse to do it if she asked! so frustrating. so i've decided that i'll speak to the superintendent about this. i don't know what will come out of it - maybe she'll be transferred out after just a year, or receive feedback during her appraisal. while i believe that she needs to improve in her job, i'll also admit that her job isn't easy because of the classes' attitudes. so i do feel some sympathy for her as well.

reminder to self: black friday deals end tomorrow. i should at least get a power bank, and decide whether or not to get the new sennheiser earphones, which are discounted to second-hand price. hopefully my superintendent is free tomorrow, and the talk won't take too long.

-random thought of the day: I shouldn't be caring so much this close to finishing JET!-

Another week has passed. it was routine, except for one thing - thanksgiving. it fell on 23 november this year, which happened to line up with a japanese public holiday called labour thankgiving day. being neither american nor japanese, these 2 holidays don't mean much to me, except for a free day off since i'm living in japan and all. but my co-english teacher is american, and he invited me to a thanksgiving get-together at his house with other foreign english teachers throughout the prefecture. there were also some japanese teachers there, and other people who have ties with him. i didn't get everyone's relation to each other, but i know that there was a tofu producer who brought her 2 kids along.

the party was nice; got to eat stuff outside of the normal japanese repertoire. turkey, for example. well...i do get turkey in school lunches since my town has one of only three turkey producers in japan, but i certainly don't get whole turkey legs in school! there were also other things like tofurkey (opinion - neutral), vegetables with a creamy garlic dip (opinion - good), a turkey gratin (opinion - pretty good), and various pies (opinion - a little too sweet, but nice to have once in a while). it was a good experience for me, because i met many different foreign english teachers, and that reminded me that there's a bigger world out there. it's something i both love and hate about this small rural town...it's very easy to become trapped in this little bubble of comfort. it was great while i was new and afraid and settling in, but not so much now.

there were a few interesting people i met that stood out in my memory. one was an english teacher from ireland. have i mentioned that i quite like the irish accent? it's so melodious! but it wasn't just her accent that made her memorable to me. during our conversation, she casually mentioned that she was thinking of having her malaysian-born partner move from ireland to be with her in japan. and she casually used "she" and "her" to refer to her partner! warmed my heart to know that there was some LGBT representation out here. the other interesting people were the tofu producing family. they had 2 kids, one in sec 1 and the other in primary 5. perhaps it's because they live in the city and attend a more international school (i understand the sec 1 kid is doing IB), but i feel that they are more mature and put together than the kids in my town - perhaps another result of being trapped in the small sphere here. i found myself thinking that i would rather teach 100 of that kid vs the 37 sec 1s in the bigger school. but well, we have to work with what we're given, and make the best of it.

along with thanksgiving comes black friday and the associated sales. i don't usually pay much attention to it, but this year, i thought i'd do some shopping around. might have mentioned it some time back, but one side of my wireless earphones is no longer working. sennheiser japan cited obsolescence and refused to repair it, so no luck there. i'm debating between the newer sennheiser model, or maybe the galaxy buds 2 pro. also considered getting something second-hand, but after thinking about the fact that second-hand earphones would have been in someone else's ears at one point, i feel more inclined towards getting them new. thinking of getting a power bank too, now that it's on sale. well, the black friday deal lasts till 1 december, so i've still got a bit of time.

still nothing heard on the job front, although i miscalculated; i actually have 10 live applications. 7 in the UK, 1 in japan, 2 in singapore. well i say 10, but a good number of them have either had their listings removed, or the deadline has passed with no contact. i'd realistically say 3 or 4 in the UK, 0 in japan, 2 in singapore. and it's making me worry, because there is a very real possibility that i may not land an offer by the time i have to fly over. and looking at mycareersfuture, i realized that it took some companies up to 6 months to reject me for jobs that i'd previously applied to. so not much hope there either. i do have some plans for various scenarios, but they're just rough outlines at the moment. nothing super detailed. should go into that in the new year's post.

weird dreams have been happening, as usual. there was one involving family that i wrote down in my notes app. that was maybe...1, 2 weeks ago? it was about a fight or argument of some kind...have to actually read what i wrote to be sure. may or may not post it, depending on what it was about. more recently, i remember an enjoyable one about the army? could be wrong there. i kind of think that having vivid/weird dreams is a sign that my brain isn't being worked out enough.

recently, the guild has been watching old japanese tv shows on discord. it's another form of bonding, i guess? i dropped in for a few sessions, during which a show called densha otoko (translated: train man) was played. it was about this otaku (nerd/geek) who met a high-class woman on a train and how their relationship developed. the other show was about a musical prodigy and the ditzy girl who he eventually falls in love with. i think they're ok as mindless entertainment, as you have to suspend your disbelief to some degree to fully immerse into the stories. also, the shows perpetuate certain japanese stereotypes and ways of thinking, which is one way culture is passed down, i guess. the american english teacher said that he found japanese television mindless and dumbed down, and i can see why he thinks so after watching these shows. it did make me wonder though, what it would be like to live those lives. to actually meet people randomly and (mutually) fall in love; or to study music, which is about as far removed from chemistry as can be. in a sense, i kind of envy actors, because they get to experience mostly the good parts of various lives.

november's almost ending, and so is 2023. got a couple of events in december, namely the annual JET workshop, year-end party with the board of education, submitting my UK visa application, and going to osaka/kobe for the associated biometrics appointment. i'm just hoping that they have a slot open for any of the 4 days that i'll be there. while not being able to do the appointment during this trip wouldn't (shouldn't) mean that my visa will be refused, it would mean having to spend time and money to go back again later. in the event that no appointments are available, i suppose i'll go on the trip anyway, and treat it as a holiday. will remember to get bak zhang this time! closer to the present, it's test period in the bigger school. thinking of taking half a day off tomorrow, since there aren't any classes and i should be able to finish my work by lunchtime. that will allow me to go change money at the bank, and maybe do a bit of rubbish sorting at home.

-random thought of the day: Yuzu bath isn't worth it!-

Followers who've been reading for some length of time will know that i'm a great believer in signs. just on a whim, i decided to try logging into mycareersfuture from my laptop. it requires a singpass login, and since i can't get SMS OTPs, i have to use password and face verification. it didn't work the last time i tried a few months back due to some webcam problems, but it did just now. so, i took it as a sign to apply for some singapore-based jobs. i applied for 2, the law firm (whose job ad is STILL up) and IPOS, for an examiner position. i'm not sure if anything will come out of them, but hey - it never hurt to try.

got yet another rejection from a UK IP firm. currently, i think i have only 3 or 4 applications still alive. that's not counting the speculative applications, of which i have another 3 or so. all i need is just ONE application to go through. good news is, a couple of my live applications are with firms that have sponsorship licenses, ie. they can act as sponsors for work visas. while it's not as important now because the visa i'm applying for allows me to do anything on my own, it will become an issue after the visa expires and if i want to continue living in the UK. it would be easier to start working for an employer with sponsorship rights - that way, there's a lower chance that i would have to change employers at the end of my visa. but well, the current idea is to get my foot in the door first. no use planning so far ahead if i can't even land a job right now.

my supervisor came to discuss some end-of-JET stuff with me last week. seems like i'll have to decide whether to leave japan by march, or in april. something about my ticket coming from this or next financial year's budget. i was thinking of leaving in april, to get another month's worth of salary as it seems likely that i won't be starting in the UK before june anyway. but having a few more weeks to adjust to life in singapore would be nice...although i'd be gone again in a couple of months. it also makes me think that i'd better get on top of my leave planning, as well as settling any last-minute outstanding things. not to forget cleaning the house. right now though, the main thing is visa application and the associated logistics...buying luggage, booking bus trips, parking lot, and getting all the documentation ready.

-random thought of the day: Keep the faith!-

Potential! that's what i'd wanted to blog about in the last post. i started this post as a draft more than a week ago, but just haven't got around to fleshing my ideas out and posting it. figure i'll talk about other stuff while the memories are fresher, and save the bit about potential for last.

school has been busy, as is typical of term 2. there are still good days and bad days, and i'd say that the number of good days is decreasing. but it's still within my acceptable range. i've all but given up on 2 of the classes in the bigger school, and am adopting a "whatever happens, happens" mentality with them. to their credit, all 6 eiken candidates there passed, surpassing my expectations. the smaller school makes me feel that my effort is worthwhile, because basically all of the kids are engaged and responsive. even if the one eiken candidate doesn't pass, i won't be upset at all because he took a higher grade than he's supposed to. would be a huge plus if he did pass, though!

but still, it's not enough to convince me to stay another year. further reinforcing that thought is that for some reason, i've been getting more requests to do stuff outside of regular english class - for instance, i was asked to do a session with the nursery school this past monday. thankfully, the new guy tanked most of it, and really well, too! he's also set to help out in being santa, which i did in my first year. i was asked to do it again this year, and i'd thought i'd deflected it, until the new guy told me that my supervisor basically said i'd have to go. maybe it's my ORD mood kicking in, but i don't appreciate having things like this decided for me. so i'm even more determined to get out of it; i'll even take an hour's leave if necessary. also, a teacher in the bigger school asked me to come up with an activity to fill 2 hours. the sec 1 class (also my least favourite class) is having some integrated learning thing, and i honestly don't know why i got roped in. well, the current plan is to design a board game that will make them look for trivia about various countries. with luck, a single run will take the entire 2 hours and i'll have an easy job as the facilitator.

today was a half day, as there was some workshop thing going on at the primary school. although i'd taken time off, i decided to pop by just to see how the kids were doing. they all grew so much! i admit, i enjoyed myself more than i thought i would. and it almost made me wish that i still had occasional classes there. but i also know that that feeling would fade away real quick. in a meta kind of way, i suppose that can be extrapolated to the present and the future. perhaps a few years down the road, i'll be sitting at my desk at work or doing something at home, and the thought 'i wish i could have another day in school with (some of) the kids' will come to mind. i suppose i should remind myself then, as i'm doing now, that nostalgia often has a rose-coloured tint. i definitely won't miss trying to elicit a response or getting kids to pay attention and participate in class activities.

back to the bit about potential...as i was writing a birthday letter for one of the kids in the sec 2 class some time back, i mentioned that despite him believing that english is hard and that he's no good at it, he actually has decent aptitude for it. he's naturally smart (evidenced by him using bad words in a grammatically correct way without guidance), but doesn't possess drive/direction. although i see teachers asking students to think about their futures and which schools to aim for, i realize that at sec 2, the stages of life beyond secondary school were the furthest things from my mind! granted that i had a year more than them by virtue of secondary school being a year longer for me, so there wasn't that much pressure to decide. i hope he'll come round, and sooner than later.

the realization i have about potential is that everyone has it. to different degrees, yes, but that's not the point. the point is, potential remains as potential until it's actually used. i have the potential to play a musical instrument, but i still can't because i don't have the knowledge, and don't intend to acquire it. i'm sure that if i devoted the same time and effort to the piano as my secondary school friend did, i'd be a decent casual player at least! and that's the next catch - intention/willingness to learn. if i've said it once, i've said it a thousand times, you can lead a horse to water but you can't force it to drink. should really tell the kids to their faces. maybe it might shock them into changing something. of course, i'm aware that people have different interests, learning speeds and all that, plus other conditions may vary. my main point is that one will remain at the same level if one doesn't even try. like the kids who constantly say "english is impossible", and put no effort into it, only for content to get harder, and them falling behind even further.

i've got a few more things to blog about, including another weird dream and some cooking projects, but this post is getting long enough as it is. guess i should wrap up here and go to sleep. the colder weather makes my futon and thick blanket infinitely more inviting.

-random thought of the day: Broke out the fleece earlier this week!-

This past week, a flu bug's been making its way around the bigger school, resulting in the entire sec 2 class being allowed to study from home. i thought i'd managed to escape infection, but turns out my body only held out until after the final eiken practice on thursday. pretty sure i ran a fever on friday (and my temperature might actually be a little high now), but didn't have to take MC because it was a public holiday. unfortunately, i missed going for sports day in the neighbouring district - worse because i was specially invited! the manager of the community centre there happens to be last year's primary school principal, which hopefully means my apology was better received.

so, yes. i'm sick. spent most of the long weekend in bed feeling lethargic and just bleh. in an effort to speed my recovery up, i've set up the makeshift humidifier again, and am trying to hydrate more by having watery porridge (congee) for my meals. one sucky thing about this flu is that my nose is blocked, so my senses of smell and taste aren't all there. i had curry plans (even bought all the ingredients), but it seems like they'll have to be postponed until i get better.

i did do some other cooking experiments though. the supermarket was selling raw octopus priced to clear, so i bought two 20 cm-ish legs for about 250 yen. i didn't know that the suckers still kind of work even after the animal is no longer alive! it's not a death grip, but they stuck to my forearm as i was removing it from the package. guess it's helped by the slime too. did i mention they're pretty slimy? and there's a kind of loose skin around the arm. anyway, i cut one up thinly and ate it sashimi style with soy sauce, and threw the other one whole into a pot of porridge which i kept in the rice cooker at about 60 °C for the better part of a day (i do multiple meals at once). the raw octopus was what i'd expect. chewy, but not impossible to eat thanks to the thinness of the slice. i wasn't able to discern any real flavour apart from the soy sauce. the slow-cooked(?) octopus still had a surprisingly substantial bite, and it was much more tender than the raw form. also fun fact: the suckers fall off after a long cook time. if i had the time, i would prefer the latter cooking method. but raw isn't bad either!

good thing i have more time to recover, as tomorrow's a holiday as well. it's the off-in-lieu for attending the bigger school's culture festival yesterday. i really think my body can sense when i have to work and tries to get me through it, because i didn't feel horrible despite still having some flu symptoms. crashed when i came home though, but that's fine. this year's culture festival felt horribly amateur-ish. technical errors, unnecessary delays, and overall just not as smooth as i remember last year's to be. it could also be because it's the first time here for the majority of the teachers. but yes. there was a presentation in english, as 2 of the kids went to canada over the summer and they talked about their time there. here is another example of what i mean by the schools not using me well enough - i was not consulted on these english presentations at all. one of the teachers whom i've worked with before and who was transferred to the bigger school last year asked me about it. his exact feedback was "it felt like there could have been more", and i agree! but well. i suppose it's good enough that there was even an english segment!

my job-hunting gmail inbox has been totally silent for the past 3 to 4 weeks - zero updates from any firms. so i decided to be proactive and check a couple of the job application portals that the firms use. my applications are still pending in 2 of them, and it'd been rejected in another. the annoying thing is that this firm didn't even send me an update to let me know! granted that the candidate is ultimately responsible for following up, but i think it shows a lack of courtesy on their end. and looking at my sent messages, i also realized that they didn't respond to an enquiry email i sent them about the application process. so, i guess they really aren't interested, and i'd be better off not working for such a company. on a related note, there's also nothing i can do on the visa end at this time, as the plan is to apply as late as possible. i'll probably apply on 22 or 23 december. the next significant thing in this area is to book my bus tickets to kobe/osaka for the biometrics appointment and a short sightseeing trip. reminder to self: get a carry-on and a large suitcase.

there definitely are more things i want to say, but my nose being blocked and the minor headache make it a little difficult to focus. i'm sure that it won't be too late for me to mention it in the next post.

-random thought of the day: Need a haircut soon.-