Regarding my previous statement about the belts...i may have to retract it. i do have a major problem with them. after opening the package, i realized that the belts are much thinner and feel more...fragile, somehow. probably because they used less material and folded it less before stitching everything up. i think the knot won't hold that well, or look that nice. but that's all theoretical for now. to be fair, i'll give it a trial run on wednesday before reaching my final verdict. for all i know, wearing it may feel better than wearing the old one(s).

the semester is ending! my inorganic chem tutor strongly suggested that we should begin studying now. it's sound advice, considering how much content is in the 3 core modules alone. even though i know that i SHOULD do it, i most probably won't start studying until another week has passed. for some reason, this semester's content doesn't look like much. and it's for that precise reason that i should be scared. 9 weeks of content is definitely not little. now that lab is over, i should use the spare time to at least start on the revision.

come to think if it, this semester has passed really quickly, as the lady in the library photocopying shop was telling me earlier today. could be due to the early recess week, or the fact that my school attendance hasn't been 100%, hence giving the illusion of reduced schooltime. anyway, the fact remains — academic year 1 will end in about 40 days. that's both good and bad i guess...good because i won't have to study, and bad because i'll have too much free time. nevertheless, the latter is the lesser of two evils, so i'm more or less ok with it. i just hope that things come up to keep me busy, like coaching and training. worst come to worst, i suppose i can find some way to amuse myself, like going for overseas trips...or if i'm too poor, bus rides around the island. i probably should wait till the holidays begin before i get down to planning.

recently, i've been thinking about getting a car. not that i can, but it never hurt to dream, right? besides, finding out about cars means that i'll have some information to fall back upon in case the big question comes early. realistically, i'm not expecting my parents to mention getting me my own car until at least this october, when the P-plates come off. but hey — if my dad allowed me to go on a solo drive less than 6 months after passing, who knows what surprise he might have up his sleeve?

as of now, my research has yielded 3 potential choices: honda jazz, toyota vios, and mitsubishi lancer. all second-hand, of course. even i wouldn't trust myself with a brand-new car, so i can't expect my parents to do so. personally, out of the 3, i'd go for either the jazz or the lancer...the former because it's smaller (and hence easier to manoeuvre), and the latter because i learnt how to drive in one of those. the vios is there because it's supposedly a good car for newbie drivers. having never driven one, i wouldn't know myself. but i'll take my cousin's word on this matter, since he learnt to drive in a vios.

i'm not limited to automatic transmission, since i'm qualified to drive manual as well. right now, i think i would prefer manual over automatic...but that's because i'm not driving all that often. logically speaking, i would imagine that driving manual transmission would soon lose its novelty if you're driving every day. in fact, it might soon prove to be annoying. since i'm currently NOT driving every day, i also wouldn't know this for sure. if i'm asked now, i would go for manual, though i may regret it in the future. the way i see it, driving manual helps me keep my skill up, and my left foot active. it's easy to go from manual to automatic, but the opposite doesn't necessarily apply. in fact, i'd imagine that it's quite the contrary. on that train of thought, i wonder how many times i would stall a manual car if i were to drive one right now?

price-wise, i'm looking at an upper limit of $35 000 and a lower limit of $25 000 or so. anything out of that range either has had the price jacked up, or is almost fit for scrapping. of course, there may be good deals going for a lower price, so i suppose i'll have to keep my eyes open. who knows? maybe a great deal will come along, and my parents will decide that it's way too good of an opportunity to pass up. if only i had that kind of luck...like one friend/senior who got a practically brand-new honda jazz for $20 000. it's quite an interesting story...the buyer bought the car for his wife (or kid, i can't remember), but the person it was intended for didn't like it. so, he let it go super-cheap. my friend happened to catch that advertisement, and there you go — a new car at a steal.

but before all that, my parents have to give the go-ahead first. and until they do, these plans will remain as just that. speaking of plans, i have to come up with the primary school training plan. the one that will get them to keep the ball straight on the lane and on target in 3 hours of training. arrgh. that's going to be done tomorrow, after school.

-random thought of the day: Must bring my green file to school tomorrow!-

Upon closer examination of my 2 newest belts, i realize that there are subtle differences between them and my 3 older ones...things like the adidas logo being placed higher up and separated from the product information, and the product information itself being stitched on in white letters instead of gold. even closer examination reveals that the licensed manufacturer has changed, hence explaining the differences. personally, i liked the previous layout better, though i don't have major problems with the current one. after all, it's only a minor detail, and won't affect the belts' primary function. still, i wish they were all the same, so that there would be a sense of uniformity when i put all the belts together.

the data sheet problem has been solved, thanks to the nice, understanding lab tech. see? it pays to make friends in the correct places. don't get me wrong; i'm not befriending people purely for the favours that they might be able/willing to do for me. that's just an added bonus. but it sure does make life easier when something of a similar nature comes up.

my sickness has taken a turn for the...different. i can't say whether it's for better or worse, because it's a bit of both. it's better because my nose is not as blocked/runny as before, but it's worse because my cough has turned phlegm-y, and the beginnings of a sore throat are (is?) developing. i just hope that whatever i have isn't contagious, because i have to see primary school kids tomorrow. and since i'm already hoping, i also hope that the kids will be nice, cooperative, and most importantly, QUIET, so that i can avoid straining my voice any more than necessary.

sometimes, curiosity isn't a good thing. i happened to read one of my friend's facebook statuses, which mentioned tonsil stones. being the easily-intrigued kaypoh that i am, i went to wiki it. now i really wish i didn't. it sounds gross, like a hard thing that can be squeezed out of the tissues in your mouth. EEEW, can!?? worse than that is, i've developed a paranoid fear of getting them. damn hyperactive imagination. but i figure i'll be ok...unless something proves otherwise.

*minor update on saturday, 28 march 2010, 12:45am*

i figured it wasn't worth it to start another post, since i would have to think of yet another creative way to begin it.

to quickly update, coaching today was cancelled since the kids had some sort of school trip. i was only informed at about 1:30pm, which was extremely annoying, especially since i was rushing to be on time. i could have spent the whole day at home! bleh. anyway, meeting up with my boss today yielded a new assignment - i have to come up with a training plan for the primary 3 and 4 kids. the goal: they have to keep the ball on the lane after three 1-hour lessons. it's not going to be easy, and i'm expecting that i have to be rather autocratic. but hey...we have to prepare them for competition, and we'll do it by whatever (legal) means necessary.

accounting for the fact that i'm still sick, training tomorrow (or later...you get the idea) would be suicidal. so i figure that i'll just go down to watch the grading in the afternoon, hence leaving my morning wide open. right now, i'm contemplating between 2 alternatives. one - go down to CJC to watch the newbies train, and maybe help out a bit. nothing too active, seeing as i'm still not at 100% condition. two - go get my hair cut. of course, there's the third possibility that i sleep through everything. we'll see how things play out when the time comes.

oh. with regard to tonsil stones, i figured out what they are. turns out the name is misleading, because they don't necessarily have to be hard. i've even got them a few times, just that i've always thought that they were bits of undigested food that somehow got stuck in my throat and were regurgitated at random times. now i know better. doesn't help the paranoid feeling that they're lurking in my tonsils, though (and they probably are!). the fact that youtube has sick videos of large stones being dug out didn't really help my paranoia. urgh. damned curiosity.

-random thought of the day: 26% more before my STO patches up completely!-

In my flurry of excitement yesterday, i kind of forgot to attach my data sheet to the lab report which i threw into the submission box. best part, i only realized it this afternoon. it's REALLY annoying, since this is the first time i've been so blur for graded assignments. and of all the times for it to happen, it had to happen for my last submission of the semester. right now, the most feasible course of action for me to do is rush to the lab after class tomorrow, to see if my report is still in the box. if the lab tech has already passed it to the TA for marking, then i'll just have to hunt the relevant TA down. i'm just hoping that i'll be lucky enough such that my report is still in the lab tomorrow.

by the way, if anyone is wondering why i'm making a big deal out of this, it's because the NUS policy is that a lab report submitted without a data sheet is deemed as invalid, and won't be marked. lab work is worth 20% of my total grade. assuming the weightage is split equally between my 3 lab reports (though i highly doubt that it actually is), that's 6.67% wasted. considering how uncle solvay screwed me over in the mid-term, i'll need all the marks i can scrape together. arrgh.

aside from that little downer, today went really well! grading went super-smoothly...for me, at least. i'm actually quite appalled that some of the juniors don't know their japanese terminology, and can't even copy/mimic a throw accurately. i mean - it was practically an open-book exam for them! the coach even corrected them on the spot, and gave hints about the english name of the techniques. i even had to do some demonstrations for breakfalling. lucky the sec 1s didn't throw my face today, and were able to correctly identify the mistakes that their seniors made. though it's not official (yet), my promotion to blue is more or less guaranteed. while that is good, it also means that there'll be no more easy grading for me in future. and that's kind of bad...or good, depending on how you look at it. better start training to be ready for blue to brown either in june or september. i still feel that taking it in june is too soon (rhyme!), so i'll give myself the alternative of remaining blue for 3 more months. we'll see how things play out as the time approaches.

to bring you up to speed on yesterday's happenings as well, getting my belt proved to be successful! i also got a brown one, so that i wouldn't have to make another trip down when i passed the grading. as luck would have it, they had one last brown belt in stock too! either i'm incredibly lucky, or the nice lady tells everyone that whatever they're buying is the last piece of merchandise in stock. i'm starting to suspect the latter, since it's happened with all 3 of my most recent belts. well, there's one easy way to test my conjecture...i could call and ask whether they have any more of that particular length and colour of belt available. if she says yes, i'll know that something is amiss. i might give it a try tomorrow, provided i'm feeling bo-liao enough.

my philosophy paper draft came back today, after a week or two of delay. despite the positive comments from the initial review, the final mark was 17/25, which is a B. having never done any philosophy before this semester, i don't know how to feel about this grade. it's one of those "neither here nor there" grades, as in it could have been better, but could have been worse too. hopefully the final rewrite will do better, like an A- or even an A. i think i'll see my tutor tomorrow to ask about what can be improved.

somehow, i think nature has a sick way (pun not intended) of reminding you how being not at 100% health feels at random intervals, so that you don't take your 100% days for granted. anyway, i think i figured out why i've been under the weather. it's probably due to being exposed to air-con immediately after being exposed to rain, since that's what happened on tuesday morning. even though it's a minor thing, it's still hell of an annoying. funny too, since rain + air-con doesn't normally affect me this badly...hence the "at random intervals" part. i really hope that it clears up after a good night's sleep tonight, or at least before friday's coaching (if it's even on in the first place). from the looks of it though, i'm going to be relying on panadol to see me through the next few days. which reminds me...i need to stock up. i have just enough left to last me through school tomorrow.

mmm...i think that's everything i wanted to say. there's probably a couple of deep, philosophical things stuck between my brain fissures which i want to blog about. needless to say, my being sick isn't really helping to dislodge those things. so, i'll hold off from blogging about them until i (1) feel better, and (2) actually remember what they are. that's all for now!

-random thought of the day: Time to change my template!-

No more lab reports! ...for this semester, that is. i just printed out my last lab report a few minutes ago, and will be submitting it tomorrow. somehow, i have mixed feelings about this lab report. its length is adequate, but i think i didn't explain some stuff well enough. i'll probably proofread it once more tomorrow morning before throwing it into the submission box.

the organic chem mid-term was surprisingly easy. that doesn't mean that i'm going to do well, however. the stuff i focused on wasn't even tested, while the things i skimmed through (aromaticity, for one) made up about a third of the marks. bleh. i suppose i should have taken the time into account. one hour just isn't enough to draw chim reaction mechanisms. nevertheless, i think i'll do ok, considering that i overheard some people say that they had no clue how to do some of the questions.

tomorrow is my last lab session (once again, for this semester)! best part is, there's no submission of lab report, only data sheet. at the same time, i'll be getting my organic chem lab reports back. i'm hoping for an A average, or better yet, 3A+es. but that's the best case. my lower limit would be 2 B+es and a B. for once, i won't predict any results, but i really really hope that they fall within the range here.

i also have to go to liang seng to get my new belt. i know it's not official yet, but what are the odds of me failing? not that i'm trying to be arrogant, no matter how the previous sentence may sound. besides, if i DO fail, the belt can be kept until i pass. oddly enough, only the tanjong katong branch of liang seng sports has the belt with the correct colour and size. maybe it's because they don't get that many customers, so the stock doesn't run out as fast? at any rate, i'm in for a long bus ride tomorrow. i'm actually considering getting a brown belt in advance too, just to stand by for june (or whenever i pass that grading). i'll leave that decision to fate; i'll get it if they have it in stock.

all right...that's it for now i guess. not much to say, seeing as how only one day has passed between posts. guess i'll go and entertain myself a little bit more before sleeping early. i can't be late for lab again, especially since tomorrow's lab is only a half-day session. that means that i won't have as much time to screw around if i mess up on the experiment.

-random thought of the day: Blasting the Superman theme lifts your spirits!-

This song seems to suit the recent weather. it's doubly apt, since tomorrow's monday, and it'll most definitely get me down, since i have that organic chem mid-term to worry about. which reminds me — i have to start studying for it at 7:30pm tonight. covering about 12 chapters in 4 hours sounds possible...considering that the notes aren't that thick, and most of it is A-level/s-paper stuff. just have to swallow the concept of organometallic reagents and learn how to use them. right now, it doesn't look TOO difficult, though i may be singing a different tune after all the reading.

the semester is coming to an end! well, we're still a month and a bit from my last paper, so perhaps now is still too soon to be declaring that. nevertheless, i can't help but think of 3 MONTHS of holiday. but that can wait, until after all the arrows have been dealt with. right now, these arrows include my last lab report of the semester (mostly done), one symmetry group presentation (not done at all), one re-write of my philosophy paper (can't be done yet), and all the final exams. my immediate worries are the report and presentation, which i have to settle by tuesday or so.

is there such a thing as too much freedom? pro-liberty people like americans would say no, but i think there just might be. it's largely due to the way we're brought up, i guess. the singaporean system teaches discipline through enforcement of rules/punishment, which means that the students don't have much of a choice, or a chance to learn it for themselves. when these rules no longer apply, the system kind of falls apart...for me, at least. maybe i'm the special one, and all that discipline never diffused into me, despite the 14 or so years of exposure. i think it's kind of a waste of money, you know, especially since universities are raising their fees. if i were to do serious calculation, i think i'm not getting my money's worth for the school fees. better spend more time in school, or use more of their facilities.

ok...last thing before i go off to study. grading's on wednesday, and i'm no longer feeling nervous. i know all my syllabus, and the only thing that could possibly screw thing up is if i get asked some lower-level holding techniques. then again, the odds of that happening are slim, so i should think that i'm good to go. which reminds me. i should go and get that new belt soon, probably on tuesday afternoon. have to call liang seng in advance and find out which of their branches has it in stock. but right now, time to face my organic chem notes...with blades of glory in the background.

-random thought of the day: Need to train for brown belt grading!-

Look back within the last 10 posts, and you'll see that i said that making rational decisions would be easier without factoring emotions in. turns out that's not true, as my philosophy professor mentioned in lecture today. apparently, the presence of emotions helps you to make better decisions. i don't fully believe it yet, but my logic is that your emotions make you think things through repeatedly, instead of picking the most immediately-logical choice, as rational-you might do. so, you give greater thought to the situation at hand. i suppose now would also be a good a time as any to briefly say that my emo problems are over...more or less. i mean, the potential for them to resurface is there, but all looks calm for now. and that's good.

sadly, i'm still oversleeping. i really don't know why. considering i'm not that active, i should have enough energy to easily make it through the day. perhaps it has to do with my eating habits. i guess lunch or dinner alone can't meet the daily energy quota. too bad i'm not in the habit of taking breakfast. even the SAF failed to convert me into a breakfast-eater. maybe i should try to get into the habit of my own accord. after all, people prefer to do the things they choose to do.

linking back to oversleeping, i was late for lab yesterday (AGAIN!). thankfully, my lab partner was nice (and smart) enough to get started on the experiment while i was rushing to school. in the end, we made it out of the lab at around 1:00pm, which i consider not bad...taking lateness and a few redos into account. i haven't actually started writing the report yet, so i won't know how good our data is. but i figure that since the nice TA approved it, it can't be THAT far off.

i've been going back to CJC every day since this past monday (inclusive of today as well). reason being that orientation-cum-training camp was held on monday and tuesday, while there was a grading syllabus lesson today. i didn't participate in the training camp, though i went back to laugh at the juniors' pain...and to offer assistance wherever necessary. it was...kind of amusing to watch, but i felt for them. after all, it was only 4 years ago when i was in their shoes...umm...feet. to be perfectly honest, if i didn't have "senior" status and was made to train with them, i'd probably be one of the first to die (not literally, of course!). it's both because i'm not as fit as i'd like to be, and also because i have spoilt body parts. thank goodness i have some protection. now i have to hope that the kids don't chance upon this post and expose my weakness.

anyway, let's recover from my serious digression and get back on course. i was supposed to join the rest and learn my grading syllabus today, but i was assigned to the J1s and sec 1s again. somehow, today's session was too rowdy for my liking. but it was unavoidable...too much teaching/conversation going on. i just wish the new people weren't so distracted. revising breakfalls and teaching them 2 new techniques left me feeling more tired than necessary. i just hope that i don't have to lose my "nice, friendly senior" image. but from the way things are going, that may happen in the upcoming few weeks.

as for the actual learning itself, i got most of the stuff. MOST. still feel shaky on a couple of throws, but i think they won't pose a problem. in the end, my main saving grace is probably going to be the fact that i can remember (almost) all the fancy japanese terminology/names, so that'll put me in a slightly better light. actually, i'm not that worried about passing this particular grading; it's the blue to brown and brown to black that's got me stressed. but i'll let that affect me when it happens...which could be as close as june.

you see, i talked to one of the coaches, and she recommended that i should go for brown in june, so that (assuming i pass,) i have the option of going for black next year. while it is a tempting prospect, i somehow feel that it's not quite right for me to take another grading at such a short interval. i mean, considering that i stagnated at orange for 2 years, suddenly jumping to brown in about a year (assuming, once again, that i pass) feels too accelerated. even though i've received assurance (from several black belts, no less!) that it's not too soon, i still feel quite hung up about it. if i really had to stay at any one belt rank for just 3 months, i'd rather that it was one of the lower ones (i.e. white, yellow or orange...or even green). staying at blue for 3 months just seems...odd. that's the best way i can describe it. well, i think my tentative plan is to get blue first, then try for brown in june. after all, it'll be semester break. then, if all goes well, i'll take black next year, or even 2 years later, seeing as i'll be in very good time for my "black before 25" goal.

all right then. i think that's all i have right now. i'm going to sleep a little earlier tonight. "earlier" as in before 12:00am. i do have morning classes tomorrow, unlike the secondary school and JC kids, who are on term break. then again, i've had my recess week earlier too, so i can't really say it's unfair. besides, i have a long break coming up in about 6 weeks! have to hold on until then.

-random thought of the day: I'm still not maximizing my productivity...-

Continuing my train of thought from the last post, i'm kind of grateful that my core modules are paired up the way they are. if i didn't do modern chem last semester, most of this semester's stuff wouldn't have made sense. likewise, if i did organic or inorganic chem last semester, all the stuff about MO theory would have flown over my head. so, yes. i'm grateful to NUS for arranging the modules in a sensible way.

the second prompt in tuesday's post is about J1 kids, who had their first training session yesterday. as expected, i was assigned to teach them breakfalls. with a few exceptions, their standard sucks in general. but, as usual, i have to be understanding because it's their first session. i expect they'll get better soon. but the one thing i don't like is that they're a little too noisy. yes, they're new, so i guess i shouldn't be so quick to criticize. have to give them a few more weeks' acclimatization time.

teaching these kids has help me come up with a slightly unconventional coaching method. i view it as the opposite of punishment. instead of assigning them physical stuff for every error in their technique (sort of like in army), i give them a set amount of push-ups/sit-ups/whatever first, and every thing they do right subtracts from that number. i mean, the end outcome is the same — do everything right and escape all extra physical stuff. but i think this puts a more positive spin on the whole concept...sort of like earning your freedom. believe it or not, the inspiration for the idea also partially came from star trek, specifically, from this quote, "as of this moment, we are all dead. we go into battle to reclaim our lives. this we do gladly, for we are __________." fill in the blank with the name of the correct alien race and win a prize! terms and conditions apply, mainly that you had better be on the same island as me.

now, to blog about (slightly) more current events, like the inorganic chem CA. it was arguably the weirdest paper i've sat for in NUS. the professor said it would be easy, and to be fair, it was...though perhaps a little too easy. as one of the lab techs said, this professor's papers are easy to pass, but difficult to score. i mean, he asks questions from parts of the notes that normal people don't bother to read. take this one for example: "write down the overall equation for the solvay process.". one chemical equation with 4 terms is worth 5 marks. but to be fair once again, all of the answers to his questions could be found in the notes. as it was, i got caught off-guard. i seriously didn't expect that kind of question to come out! so that's 5 marks gone. that blunder aside, i think the rest of the paper went pretty well. sure, i could (and most likely will) lose marks for not drawing resonance structures and not mentioning that the B-F bond lengthens, but i really couldn't be bothered right now. after all, as a couple of friends have pointed out, life isn't all about grades, and 5 marks isn't all that much in the grand scheme of things. besides, i've beat myself up enough over it already.

deadlines...deadlines. they're starting to creep up on me. let's see what's coming up over the next week or so. in order of urgency: biochem review questions, symmetry presentation, group presentation abstract, lab report (yes, it's back to haunt me), organic chem mid-term, biochem assignment. in terms of difficulty, however, the symmetry presentation and lab report tie for first place, while the rest are do-able. to make thing (slightly) worse, my boss hasn't told me whether there's coaching tomorrow. i suppose i'll have to assume it's a yes, and plan accordingly. that's safer than assuming it's a no, though i suppose that in the event of a screw-up, blame will naturally come to me anyway. worst case is if he doesn't reply by tonight, i'll call him after lecture tomorrow.

even though philosophy is confusing the hell out of me (tutorials always make me feel like my brain's melted), i'm still oddly happy that i chose to take it. masochistic much? but i'll say one thing, it's exposed me to problems whose existence i didn't even know about! and i must admit, it's helped to straighten out my thought process as well, mainly by teaching me not to be too concerned with names. here's an example i got off a website: if you believe god exists despite inconclusive arguments, you should also believe that the loch ness monster exists...something like that. i'll say one thing though...this module is best taken with an open mind, in the sense that you can't be overly religious or conservative. otherwise, the discussions are bound to offend. and after several tutorials, i think i subscribe most the the principles of utilitarianism and harm. i won't bother explaining them here, but you can always wiki it if you're interested to find out more.

well, that's all i have to say for now. at this point, i'm still debating on whether to go for saturday's training or not. i guess that'll also be affected by whether friday's coaching is on or not. at any rate, my aim is to finish the biochem review/assignment by saturday, my symmetry powerpoint slides by sunday night (or worst case monday afternoon, during my free block) and my lab report by sunday afternoon. with those 3 big arrows out of the way, i can then work on the rest at a more leisurely pace.

-random thought of the day: Where am I on the emotional spectrum?-

Why am i sleeping so much!!?

i seriously think i have to regain control over my life. no, despite what it sounds like, i don't have a drug or alcohol problem. it's milder, but is still rooted in lack of self-control. if my opening line hasn't given it away yet, i've been oversleeping a lot, and consequently missing classes. sometimes, when i DO get to school on time, i end up dozing off intermittently throughout the lecture as well. it may sound like a small matter, but many occurrences of a small problem = big problem. in fact, today was the last straw — i was late for a lab session. sure, i could make it up 3 weeks later, but why go through all that hassle? thankfully, i managed to finish my experiment in time, but (naturally,) later than the on-time people. it's time i sorted this out, by sticking to a strict 11:30pm bedtime, regardless of outstanding work. this also means that i had better learn to manage my time more efficiently.

and since i mentioned today's lab, i'll just briefly say that it went really well! the preliminary rough data looks good, though calculations may prove otherwise. one of the lab techs was remarking that after organic lab, inorganic lab should be easy for us. and i have to agree! even reading this module's lab manual gives less headache. best part is, i think today's experiment is the most tedious out of the 3, so i'm glad that i got it over and done with first. now comes the part i dread...report writing. oh well. that can wait until saturday or so.

i think the only reason i can get away with missing so many classes this semester is because my modules are rather slack. i mean, they do have their tough moments (lab reports, presentations) but there's more downtime than on-time. like i only have 2 mid-terms, one of which is on this coming thursday. the nice inorganic professor (note to self: i have to blog about him one day!) said it would be easy, so i'm just going to read my notes tomorrow and hope for the best. as for my other mid-term (which is for organic chem), i need more study...mainly for reaction selectivity and arrow-drawing.

as much as i'd like to blog more, i really have to get to sleep. after all, i'll need the energy for tomorrow's activities, which include a 9:00am lecture and training, where there'll be new J1s! interesting. to boost my memory, i also want to blog about how the modules are interconnected. but that's all for now.

-random thought of the day: Sleep!-

Bleh...so much for drawing the line. turns out the actual deed is even more difficult that my imagined worst-case scenario. as you've guessed, nothing's happened yet. it sucks...like hell. i really want to do something! but when? how? arrgh. i just wish people could be honest with each other without worrying about what the other person would think/do. life would be so much less complicated then.

i was reading a post about love on one of my friends' blogs. apparently, the ancient greeks took this whole love business really seriously. they had (at least) 4 definitions for it, depending on the degree/type of feeling involved. there's storge (i have no idea whether it's pronounced storj or stor-gee), which is sort of like familiarity due to acquaintance. philia refers to platonic love, while eros means physical attraction. agape is the most chim one of the four. it means unconditional love, the kind in which you'll go out of your way to do stuff for the other person, even if you're inconvenienced in the process, and even if that person hasn't done anything to deserve it from you. with regards to that person, i think i'm feeling both 2, 3 and 4. of course, i could be (and most likely am) deluded about 4. i mean — you won't know whether your love is unconditional unless it's been tested, right? but right now, i don't think i'd mind doing weird stuff for that person. but that could be irrational behaviour brought about by infatuation as well, right? perhaps i should take that intro to psychology module...it might help me sort my thoughts out.

as i was walking around school, i saw a mini-bazaar thing outside LT27. in particular, one stall/stand caught my eye. they were selling ceramic thingies (they can either be keychains, pendants, or handphone ornaments) with name or character trait designs. i was more interested in the ceramic thingies with ambigrams on them, though. brief background: ambigrams are word designs that can be read both right-side-up and upside-down. they don't have to read the same thing in both orientations, though that's then called a symbiotogram (thanks to wikipedia). for instance, i got one of my name which does read the same in both ways. the second one i got has my name in one orientation, but turn it upside-down and it says "believe". quite cool, really. i was super impressed at how quickly the artist came up with the designs. i expected her to tell me to come back in a couple of hours, at which point she would have several designs for me to choose from. instead, she saw my name, and came up with a design on the spot, in a few minutes. that's both good and bad...good because it's fast, and bad because other alternatives aren't really considered. still, i'm happy with both of mine, plus the one more i got for someone.

studies are causing me some grief. i'm still missing 10:00am lectures when they're the first class of the day. i don't know how i do it, but i somehow manage to convince myself that it's better to sleep in than to drag my ass to school. and i'm still falling asleep in 8:00am lectures too. consequently, my organic chem is rather half-baked, and that's causing me no small amount of distress. the reason i'm not that worried about biochem and philosophy is because they're open-book exams, whereas organic chem isn't. resorting to coffee to keep awake is starting to sound increasingly tempting, though i'm resisting the idea as much as possible. don't want to develop a dependency, after all. think i'd better study organic chem in the library tomorrow, and catch my 2 (or 3?) biochem webcasts. mid-terms are coming up, and though i've only got 2 of them (yay me!), i have to study equally hard, if not harder than normal. after all, having only 2 mid-terms means that i had better score for both of them!

as a quick little side-note, i guess my theory about the CNY mood leading people to be more sociable was right. people seem gruffer (or at least not as friendly) in general this week. oh well. not like i'm that affected. also, i finally managed to borrow interview with the vampire from the library! can't wait to start reading...but that will have to wait until tomorrow evening at least. i must clear some of the accumulated stuff before i can really enjoy my reading.

-random thought of the day: I'll try to stay awake tomorrow!-