We've started on live cases this week at work, and several topics in today's post will be linked to that.

first is that i got myself a wireless keyboard for more comfortable typing. instead of buying a ready-to-use keyboard, i got a kit, switches, and keycaps separately. the main benefit is more customizability and i get to try something new. if you remember, my previous keyboard had clicky switches, meaning that it sounded kind of like an old-school typewriter. side note: my maternal grandfather actually had one, and i would wager that i'm one of the few people of my generation to have heard typewriter sounds live. anyway, seeing as i'd be working in the office for at least part of the week, i decided to go with silent switches this time. they make basically no noise, except for a muted thunk when i press hard on the keys. even then, it's barely audible! in the interest of portability, i got the 87-key version, ie. no numpad. while i can do without it, i do kind of miss it for quick entry of numbers. the other thing i tried with this keyboard was that i got keycaps with the letters on the side of the keycap facing me, instead of being on the top face of the keycap, as is typical. perhaps this wasn't my smartest decision, because i still look at the keys a fair bit when i type. guess the touch-typing thing never really took hold. maybe this will help me get used to it?

second: the thing with the broken monitor didn't go well. the company refused to budge on their stance, meaning that i'm out $230 or so. the small silver lining is that they offered a 30% discount on the same model upon trade-in of the broken monitor. i was a day or two too late to tell my aunt about it - she had just bought a monitor. ah well. the discount is valid for 3 years, meaning that i don't have to act on it immediately. hopefully i can pass this on to someone in my community who needs it more than i do.

third: i think that i'm not completely over the trauma from the accursed IP firm. i'm still on tenterhooks when talking to my assigned mentor here, but that could also be because we don't know each other well yet, and work-related communication has been over text messages only so far. i'm due to meet her face-to-face on monday to discuss my cases, and i have hopes that it'll go smoothly. i also seem to be still operating under the fast-paced, high-stress work style of the accursed IP firm. just think: we were given 4 cases initially, and the expectation is for us to complete all 4 within a month. i've done first drafts of 2 cases within a week, with half of the third complete, plus i've read up on the fourth. still, i'm expecting a ton of feedback about my work. the seniors have also said not to be discouraged if our work came back full of corrections and comments initially, so i imagine there'll be multiple rounds of revisions. i guess it's good as well, since i'll be gone for a week in march. might as well give myself a head start, since i don't plan to (and can't, anyway!) bring my work overseas.

something i noticed this past week is that i'm feeling horribly tired. guess reading the documents and trying to make sense of them takes a (mental) toll. i was also sick on wednesday - running nose, slight sinus pressure. thankfully the symptoms disappeared after i turned in early and had a good night's sleep. part of it has to do with L, who sleeps late and can operate on less sleep than me, and i somehow feel that i have to match his sleeping hours. that will have to change. looks like i have to focus on the healthy lifestyle + fitness plans sooner rather than later. i realize that it really is the environment; i'm back to being closer to my pre-japan self now (body-wise at least)...and i don't like it.

L is facing some difficulty at work. apparently the people above him are wishy-washy, and the people under him are incompetent/can't be bothered. i think he's giving too much to the workplace. it's not bad per se, but it's like, he's putting in a disproportionate amount of effort and he doesn't have the power to effect change. call it optics (when exactly did this word come into common use again?), but i think his bosses need to publicly endorse him/announce that he does indeed have the power to make some changes. it kind of reminds me of my JET experience. wanting to do so much for the kids, but not having the necessary backing and/or having to work with someone who had basically checked out of the job. hopefully he finds a solution, or makes alternative plans. he did say that he wants to move out of teaching eventually, so maybe this might be the initiating step that he needs.

guess that's all i have to report for now. 2 more weeks until our japan trip! not even a year, and i'm already going back. while i don't think i'll plan to visit the town every single time i'm in japan, i kind of want to go back once every 2-3 years minimum, at least until my supervisor's kid graduates secondary school. but as for japan is general, i hope to make annual trips there. preferably while my JET friends are still based there. come this november, it'll be 5 years since we started. and that means mandatory quitting time. some of them have found other things to pursue, so they'll be in the country for at least a few more years, if not permanently. not necessarily on this trip, but i hope i get to reconnect with them in the near future!

-random thought of the day: Have all the logistics been settled?-

Habits are more likely to be followed if they require minimal effort and/or give a valuable reward. that's what atomic habits teaches, and it does make sense. like my blogging habit, where the only 2 (self-set) criteria are (1) to blog at least once a calendar month, and (2) to definitely write year-end and new year posts. so although i haven't gone to such an extreme yet, having a post on 1 january and the next post on 28 february would still fall within my acceptable range. but i hope it doesn't get to that stage.

so, what's been going on in my life? work's been good-ish, we're exiting the first phase of training and will finally start on actual files next week. i've mentioned before that i still have a bit of PTSD when it comes to getting my work checked by a superior, but so far the people here have been really nice about it...even when i made a glaring error. i hope this will be the place that heals me and allows me to bloom. having said that, i know that i have to put in the effort as well.

things with L are at kind of a steady-state. could be because we're both occupied with work now, but i feel that the distance is growing a little. or maybe it was because he wasn't very talkative today. it's our first valentine's day together, by the way. what a day to be having these doubts and insecurities creep in! well, i'm sure he's not cheating on me, and i trust he knows the reverse is true. it's probably just work drama on his end...he's been telling me and his dad about it, and my opinion is that he should fight for more power to effect change. i should focus more on the positives - he's still letting me stay at his place, his dad is at least tolerant, if not accepting of my presence, and we're scheduled to go to japan together next month.

being the "worst-case scenario" guy that i am, i tried asking myself what would happen if L were to decide to end the relationship? as much as i don't want it to happen, i do have a contingency plan. it will be a pain to execute and it relies on the goodwill of others, but a plan is there. i'm just hoping that if it should come to that, any negative emotions/fallout won't spill over to other areas of my life, especially work. honestly, finding this job was like striking gold, and i don't intend to let it go.

in the "me" realm, i guess i'm doing ok. kind of getting into the groove of daily life, and i think it'll soon be time to start picking up another ball or two. the top one on my mind is starting some sort of exercise routine. now that my schedule is more or less confirmed (hybrid arrangement FTW) and i know what to expect in terms of energy levels and tiredness after work, i think that i can fit 1 or 2 workouts per week into the mix. i'm currently thinking at least wednesday night, and one other night or morning if i feel up to it.

financially, i'm in a bit of a sinkhole. the japan airfare and associated bookings have basically wiped out my first month's salary. or they will, when my credit card bill comes. ok, full disclosure. my recent purchases haven't helped, either. not only that, even fate wasn't on my side. see, i'd bought a monitor in anticipation of working from home. i'd only owned it for 9 days (and used it for 2), when a really strong gust of wind blew it over. it landed face-down on the desk and gave up the ghost. one thing to be grateful for here is that my laptop made it out unscathed. i'd hate to have to replace that as well! the company was...let's just say they weren't very sympathetic. they offered a 30% discount on a relacement monitor. not worth it, i feel. so the plan is to boycott the brand with a mathematical sign in its name, and to get a more atas (and yes, more expensive) monitor to replace the broken one. when i first got it, i mentioned to my colleague that i'd gotten a monitor, and told him the specs. his first question was, "why didn't you get a bigger one?". call it consumerism or whatever, but i think this monitor dying is a sign. this time though, i'm going to get an arm to clamp to the desk and insurance to protect against any damage.

you know, i never imagined that i'd be living my current life. don't get me wrong, there's still a LOT of room to go upwards, but having free run of the house, living with people i get along with (one of them being my partner), having an interesting, well-paying job...things are good! long may they stay this way.

-random thought of the day: Tuition tomorrow.-