Dolly Parton passed away this past week. the news broke late enough on tuesday night or early enough on wednesday morning (local time) for me to wake up to it. not the best way to start the day, i assure you! i remember my first thought being, 'oh, hell' after my brain registered it. for some reason, i've been affected by this more than i imagined. considering i'm not a big listener of her music - i only recognize the beginning of '9 to 5', and the version of 'i will always love you' i know best is the whitney houston one. so i don't understand why i'm feeling this sense of loss. i guess it's because her philanthropy and personality shone brighter than her already prodigious talent as a musician. it's amazing that despite her musical success, most of the stories i'm seeing are about what an amazing person she was. i've been watching stuff on instagram about her imagination library, her quick-witted quips, and her ability to laugh at herself ("it takes a lot of money to look this cheap"). makes me think i need to be more like her...don't care too much about what others think or say about me, and just focus on being the best person i can be. no doubt that it's easier said than done, especially with interactions over the internet. but i figure i should at least try.

it seems famous people have been dropping like flies in the past week; there were a bunch more celebrities who passed away, even the king of norway! august truly is cursed. ok, that might be my bias from last year coming through. personally, i'm happy that august is almost over. i'm also thankful that it was an ok month, perhaps even bordering on positive. shows me that i can rise above a bad situation.

one thing that made the last week good was the 2 days of IP week. was nice to dress up a bit, spend some time away from the office, and socialize/catch up with people whom i don't see too often. my secondary school senior, for one, who's now head of IP for a big china company. i also found out that one of my juniors who was hired 6 months after me is my junior from secondary school as well. he's like, 9 years younger or something, so we never met before joining the same company. is that why i felt a bit more drawn to him? well...he does like japan too, so maybe it's that we have more interests in common. i also made some new contacts in the IP world, including attorneys and lawyers of varying experience levels. most interestingly, we (ex-employees of the accursed IP firm) caught up with each other. it's happened for 2 out of 2 years so far that i've been at IP week, and it's actually quite nice to see them again! we jokingly call it trauma bonding or group therapy, but i think there's an element of truth behind those names. something a former colleague said stuck with me - we don't know anyone who left the accursed IP firm and is worse-off now. i heard stories from people who joined and left in more recent years, and it seems that the same problems/issues are persisting. i was told that my old boss also made an appearance at IP week, but i didn't see her. no loss to me. word is that she mellowed out a bit in recent years. too late, as far as i'm concerned.

met crochet guy this past week as well. kind of told him that his sales style wasn't working very well with me, and he says that other people have also given him feedback on his communication. i kind of think he's on the spectrum a bit, but then again so are most people - myself included. he also shared that he's having some difficulty with his KPI for appraisal, which i would expect to be linked to the communication issue. unfortunately, i don't have any advice for him. and given that i'm not very sales-y or a very people person, i don't know how useful/correct my advice would be anyway. i did tell him something which i thought would help, and that's to talk to scary JC friend. she seems to be flourishing in her real estate career, which i'm completely unsurprised by. hopefully she'll be able to give him more relevant advice. i wonder if that conversation changed the dynamic between crochet guy and myself? guess i'll find out in the coming weeks/months.

tuition today was tiring. i suggested extra catch-up sessions for the 2 guys after regular class, and we did the first of 2 sessions today. i'm really hoping that it helps them to be clearer on the fundamentals. the plus side is that the weaker one seemed to have an "aha" moment. with luck, that will keep his interest and motivate him to study more. like the situation with crochet guy, only time will tell.

this coming week is the start of september! quarter 3 is coming to an end. i'm interested to see my points on the KPI tracker that's supposed to be released on tuesday. which reminds me - i should submit a case on monday just to make sure it gets counted in my august numbers. i don't think i have very many social engagements this month, the main 2 are dinner with one of the chemistry guys next sunday, and the annual old boys' mid-autumn festival dinner on the 25th. work-wise, it's more of the usual. i'm presenting on a case in my division meeting, which is on monday too. might take some time to look through the slides again tomorrow.

-random thought of the day: Didn't go to the gay bar this month!-

Bad-quality sleep last night meant i was quite low-energy today. still, i managed to make it through the alumni gathering, tuition, and even a short pit stop at the office(!). before all of that, i'll just recap dinner yesterday.

we ate at this place called omu nomu, which promotes itself as a sake and raw bar. they offer cooked food too, so it's kind of misleading. but i'm not complaining at a greater variety of food! it was good in general, but super pricey...about $90 per person before the $40 voucher! i think the best dish for me was the foie gras skewers. surprisingly for a sake place, the sake was a bit of a letdown. thankfully i was there more for the food, so i didn't leave disappointed. in a surprising change, scary JC friend didn't drink all that much either. the lacklustre first cup of sake didn't give her confidence to order more, i guess.

i basically hit the sack after coming home (before midnight), and ended waking up at 4+ am. thought i heard some hammering noises. considering it's the 7th lunar month now, my imagination went wild for a bit. i used to be way more afraid of any potential paranormal things, but moving to japan pretty much cured me of that. my reasoning was that if i don't bother whatever's out there, whatever's out there won't bother me too. and considering that nothing happened despite the ulu-ness of japan (you could probably hide a body in the mountains and forests), i think it's less likely to happen in urban singapore. side note: can't remember who told me this or where i read it from, but i remember the message being "cemeteries/graveyards aren't scary because the people in there are someone's loved ones". the noises at all odd hours here (mainly vehicle noises) do make me miss the silence of nighttime rural japan, though.

not going to make a habit of it at this time, but i went back to the office today. the reason was that i forgot to send a case out yesterday. normally, that wouldn't be big enough of a deal to make me return to the office on a weekend. but as part of the changes to our workflow, we're also changing the format of our reports a little. so all reports with the old template have to be sent out either by or before next monday - i forgot which. if you know my luck, you wouldn't be surprised that the report i forgot to send out yesterday is still using the old template. "by monday" wouldn't be a problem, but "before monday" would mean having to create a separate file with the new template and copy/pasting everything over, which is more hassle than it's worth. so i decided to quickly pop in after tuition to send the report out, saving myself some potential trouble on monday. while sending the report out, i was happy to find out that one of the features that we strongly requested for (relating to version numbering) was resolved. credit where it's due, they're quite prompt in addressing issues that we raise. i just wish the product was launched with these issues being nonexistent in the first place!

got a bit of a meditation/reflection to do about the idea of popularity/desirable-ness and seeking approval. i've probably said it before, but i think this focus on outer appearance isn't healthy. like, the thing i wrote about a couple of posts ago, about gay guys judging by appearance even for non-M-18 stuff. i guess you might call it sour grapes, because my body type isn't in high demand. the thing that makes me a bit sad is that people who do not fit the ideal physical appearance are somehow seen as "lesser" in the community. whatever i've done or whatever interesting experiences i've had in my life so far don't matter, because people don't care enough to find out. and yes, i know the model answer is that i shouldn't waste my time, effort, and feelings on such people. sometimes i forget, so it's good to remind myself.

another thing i kind of realized is that our reality is what we perceive. because of that, marketing oneself is important. some people are quite savvy, like they show themselves hooking up left and right, yet say that they are selective and don't accept money. my guess is they do this to increase the perceived scarcity, to make themselves look more desirable. reminder to myself: people typically only show their best sides on social media. it's easy to forget that their lives are not always as perfect as they portray on screen.

while i'm not in mentally harmful territory at the moment, i think i should nip this in the bud and proactively reduce or even stop consumption of M-18 social media. might be better for me to channel my time and energy into more productive pursuits, such as exercise, home improvement, or even real-life encounters. it's easier said than done, though. there's the whole dopamine thing, plus the inertia associated with doing things that are good for you, but which don't feel that way. scary JC friend mentioned some time back that she sees me as a very "comfort zone" person, like i wouldn't change something if it didn't need changing. considering the status of unpacking, i can't exactly say she's wrong. but still! i think i should take steps to shake things up. can't expect different results while doing the same thing, right?

-random thought of the day: Throw out or give away more things!-

Almost 3 weeks since the new file management platform launched, and things are getting better. i was able to send out cases, for one! i sent out like 5 or 6 cases, which means my points should jump. i'll only find out at the start of september, so here's hoping for good news.

had a couple of weird dreams over the past couple of days. first was that i moved back to my JET house. the enclave where it's located is on flat land in real life, but the houses there were more luxurious (with bedrooms that looked like hotel rooms), and on terraces built into the hillside in my dream. they looked so pretty! i also dreamt that one of my colleagues and his family consisting of a wife and kids would be moving in with me, and i gave them a tour of the surrounding area. weird thing is i barely talk to that colleague! dream #2 was even weirder. i was at a hot guy's place...we might have been dating? i was in his bed, more specifically. i remember that we had to get ready to go somewhere, and i was travelling down the CTE tunnel. the annoying thing is, i don't remember what his face looks like! i'm pretty sure he's someone i know in real life, or at least have talked to. maybe someone i meet will jog my memory.

sickness update too. i tested negative on monday morning, but i'm still coughing a little. brain function is about 85%, which was good enough for me to tackle a challenging case yesterday and today. if i finish this case, i'll just need to finish 2 more by september, which is plenty of time. should ask for more cases soon, but perhaps after IP week.

crochet guy has been asking to meet over the past week. normally i'd be happy to have him over or even meet him outside, but there are some things that made me have mixed feelings about it recently. see, usually i'm the one to initiate meeting up with him. but since i indicated my interest to buy insurance for him, he's been quite persistent in wanting to meet up with me. i guess it's because he wants to close the deal. and that makes me have second thoughts, because it seems like he's only taking initiative to meet me because there's a potential financial incentive. i really think his communication needs improvement. that's why i'll probably only get a smaller policy with him, and let him prove himself before i decide to trust him with more money.

my social calendar is going to be kind of full for the next few days. dinner with scary JC friend and her boyfriend tomorrow, to use the voucher that we won at the sake festival. usual routine on saturday, and IP week for 2 days next week. i think i should have enough social battery to get through it all.

-random thought of the day: Planning a few other restaurant visits!-

Taking my usual state as 100%, i'd say that i'm at around 65-70% now. there's still some residual lethargy even after lying in bed all day. i really want to get back into the swing of things! mentally, i don't quite feel like i'm ready to tackle a difficult case head-on yet, so i guess i'll spend tomorrow doing more admin-y stuff and get my mentor's advice on how to approach a case which i started looking at early last week. i have an idea, but i'm not sure if it's correct/allowable.

as you may have guessed, nothing much happened since the last update. i saw the doctor on thursday, and he gave me 2 days' MC for a total of 4 days away from the office. 5, if you include the wednesday that i took MC-less MC for. i've basically been either rotting in bed or in front of the computer. the lethargy is so bad that i fell asleep in front of the computer several times! i also skipped the alumni thing and tuition yesterday, which i feel a little bit bad for. at the same time, i know that it's the right decision, because i'd (1) not enjoy myself, and (2) be a health hazard for people i come into contact with.

due to having too much free time and literally nothing to do besides sleep, i've been thinking about some things. just general life and future stuff, nothing super depressing or worry-inducing. it kind of goes back to the idea of ikigai, but in a more wholistic sense, instead of just the work aspect. i guess i need to think a bit more about what my purpose in life is supposed to be. while i find my work to be meaningful, interesting, and fun, i also don't want to be one-dimensional and have work as the only interesting thing going on in my life. i guess i should start by exploring some hobbies. and yes, i know i've been saying that for the longest time already. need something to overcome the inertia, i guess. maybe more time once tuition ends?

i've also been browsing the internet/social media a lot in this period of downtime. there were a few stories that caught my eye, including a guy who got into a physical altercation with an old man after the old man patted his (the guy's) child on the head. it made me think that singapore is increasingly becoming a powder keg, and the fuse is shortening. if not for the threat/risk of being exposed on social media or reported to the police, i'm sure that large-scale fights would have broken out by now. in my opinion, it's because the country is overcrowded. but the people in charge don't seem to care, and appear to be pursuing economic growth at all costs.

on reddit, there's a subreddit about dating in singapore. i read a thread there posted by (presumably) a girl, whose date asked her to guess which school he was from. one of the comments said that the guy peaked in secondary school. that's a phrase i haven't heard in a long time! it got me thinking about this idea of "peaking" at some point in life. ideally, you'd want your achievement/time graph to be continually rising, so that you'd always be hitting new peaks. and i suppose the secret to that is always having something to work towards, so that you're always getting better in some way. but some people are perfectly content to relive their glory days in secondary school. JC, NS, university, or some other earlier stage in life. i mean, there's no harm in it, but i suppose it gets tiring listening to the same few stories over and over again. hope i'm not that way about japan!

related thought: a lot of what i was told was important while growing up (e.g. which school someone went to, academic or sports achievements) are actually not that big of a deal! like, i know people who went to name-brand "elite" schools doing so-called ordinary jobs like insurance or civil servant. on the other hand, there were people from neighbourhood schools who performed better than me in grad school. i guess i was influenced by my elders telling me about how i should aim for raffles, become wildly successful, and earn buckets of money. you might see it as sour grapes because i actually wasn't able to, but i'm happy i didn't. although my time in secondary school wasn't the greatest, that led to JC (which was actually great), then to uni, and so on. of course, i do entertain the occasional thought of 'what if i'd made it to raffles?' i kind of like to think that due to the (rumoured) less homophobic environment there, i might have come out earlier and maybe even found a partner...or at least started dating. maybe i might have been pushed harder in academics too, and become a (medical) doctor or lawyer or something. i know that i can't change the past, but it's fun to imagine!

last thought for now...the weather sucks. don't know if it's just an august thing that the weather is so hot, or because it's also the lunar 7th month and the heat is made worse by people burning offerings. probably both. i'm getting heat rash in my elbows and on my back! that's one more plus of returning to the office, i guess...free air-con!

-random thought of the day: Recover faster!-

Update: it's COVID. i could still taste fine up till earlier this evening, then drinking the pig organ soup i ordered via grab felt like i was just drinking hot water. did a rapid test, and the "test" line developed super strongly. looks like my rest is getting extended! i was a little worried initially, but then i considered that it's just before mid-august now. even if it takes me a week plus to recover, i'll still be well in time for IP week, and i have the whole month of september to submit my cases and make sure i hit the promotion target.

i realize that COVID is one of the worst illnesses for me, in terms of how it affects my quality of life. when i'm sick, all i want is some comfort from either a person (preferably a cute guy, but i'm not picky) or food. considering i'm living alone now, comfort from food is easier to obtain. and COVID takes that away from me too. actually on that topic, i think the only real disadvantage of living alone (for me, at least) is that there's nobody to take care of me when i'm sick. but if i think of it as maybe a week or two's worth of suffering per year, i'm happy to have the place to myself for the remaining 50 weeks. not a bad tradeoff at all!

the new plan is to go see the doctor tomorrow for an MC. i tried booking an appointment at eunos polyclinic, but they were full. so, it's back to marine parade i go. i'm tempted to bring my fairprice vouchers along to do some grocery shopping, but then i should also bear my condition in mind. that, and it's a longer commute home. i do think i want to wander around the marine parade area a little, just for fresh air and nostalgia...masked up, of course!

One way i know i'm sick is that i have zero desire to look at my cases. usually, i look forward to clearing them...even the hard ones! but now, thinking of my cases (even those which are ready to send out) just makes me feel bleh. hope i'm well enough to appear in the office tomorrow, or else i'll finally go see the doctor.

the long weekend was great! i had several social engagements, even meeting russian ex-postdoc twice in 2 days. we were originally only set to meet for dinner on monday, but she then invited me to a lunch that she was having with my professor and another of my seniors. so that resulted in me taking grab to and from NUS during my lunch break yesterday, racking up $40 in fees, which was more expensive than the lunch itself! but it's worth it. i would be happy to spend that amount or more to meet my professor any time the chance arises.

during our first meeting (dinner on monday), russian ex-postdoc was telling us about some of the challenges she's facing as a professor now. i guess this is kind of evidence that singapore is more westernized among the asian countries, because despite her spending 5 years in singapore, she's having trouble with east asian high-context systems and things. doesn't help that a significant proportion of her students are foreign too, so she doesn't have anyone to guide her in that regard. i'm not sure what i can do to help her, save maybe joining her as a lab manager or something like that to navigate the system. but that would require a really drastic change in my circumstances, and it would definitely not be my first choice of path to take. but based on what i know about her attitude and working style from our time together in the lab, i believe she'll get through it!

lunch on tuesday was a bit of an eye-opener. ever since his promotion to full professor, my professor has been taking on more administrative roles and duties, leaving him less time for research. yet, i was amazed that he was still up to date on developments in the scientific world, even able to discuss some of the latest technology in instrumentation with my senior, who's working in a scientific instruments company! we asked him how he's managed to survive so long in academia, and his answer was that academia is his dream job. apparently, he's wanted to be a scientist since young, and he doesn't take his job for granted. i could learn from that more! not that i'm taking my current job for granted, but i realize that it's kind of a "do something you love and you'll never work a day of your life" type of thing. does that apply to me now? honestly, i would say yes. in spite of all the logistical/technological issues of the previous few weeks, or the occasional hard application where i have no idea where the invention lies, i still enjoy my core job. i would enjoy it more if the issues were gone/resolved quickly, but i guess i can hope.

sidetrack to say that the conversation reinforced what i already knew - i wouldn't make it/wouldn't have made it in academia. experimental science excited me up till i was in undergrad, but the long hours and limited success in the lab during my grad school years killed that excitement. i guess if i had been really passionate about it, i would have taken it as a challenge, and risen up more readily. i don't regret the grad school experience, though...not even having to change supervisors. looking back on it as a whole, i realize that the first lab trained me to be comfortable with organic structures, while the second lab helped me to understand medicinal chemistry stuff a bit better, so i'm not that lost among the enzymes, receptors, agonists, antagonists, cancer cells, etc. things happen for a reason!

another takeaway i got from the lunch is how university education (at least for NUS) is changing. my senior was saying that a lot of interns from NUS were sorely lacking in scientific thinking and lab skills, to the point where the company preferred to take poly student interns! my professor then told us about how the educational model is evolving from the traditional "T" shape (narrower base, but highly specialized in one area) to "pi" (more specialized in 2 areas), and to the present "comb" structure (broad base with shallower exposure in each area). i guess that's the multidisciplinary thing that's all the rage these days. it makes good generalists, but they won't be suitable for jobs that require a higher level of knowledge. guess i'm safe(r) for the time being! it does make me worry though, because i think that current students in general are not developing higher-order thinking skills. lucky i'm going to stop tuition next year, i don't think i want to deal with that.

having all these social engagements naturally didn't help with the sickness or my recovery. my sinuses were feeling scratchy on monday already, and i had an early night with the fan only, no air-con. that's usually my first line of defense - sweat the sickness out. i definitely had a fever that night, because i remember feeling really hot. thankfully, the fever broke by yesterday morning, and i was well enough to make some progress on a case and go out for the aforementioned lunch. it kind of got worse at night again (no fever, thankfully) and that leads to how i'm feeling today. i realize that while some of my colleagues can power through cases when sick, i'm still not quite at the experience or skill levels to do so. me working while sick usually results in mistakes and bad assessments, which will annoy my mentor and slow the case-clearing rate down. so, it's just pure rest today. with luck, i'll be back and raring to go tomorrow.

-random thought of the day: Being sick sucks.-

National day celebration in the office tomorrow, plus the bosses declared a half day. my work week is effectively over! it was short, but with a fair few things happening. you know all about the file management system not working (there's a rant bursting to escape, but i'll spare you all the agony for now), and new issues are coming up with each passing day. my mentor has asked us (the people whose work she's checking) to submit cases over teams to her. it's kind of our usual practice anyway, so the only difference is that i'm not officially submitting cases through the system. we managed to clear 6 cases in 2 weeks, which is awesome. if my maths is right, i'm literally one case away from the promotion target. while it's comforting to know at the back of my mind, i'm still going to maintain my current pace. still have the year-end target to meet, after all.

gym guy came over yesterday. the M18 stuff is great and all, but i appreciate the connection more. he was just complaining about how his flat application was taking forever, and HDB got back to him today! see, complaining never fails. we had dinner together before we each went for gym (we're members of different gyms). i did a shorter workout as a carousell buyer wanted to buy one of the pens i put up for sale. considering the price i bought it at, i'm down about $40...which i think is ok for the 8-ish years i owned it. it followed me to japan, where i used it to write comments and messages to the kids. but i don't use it that often, and figured it's time to let it go. by amazing coincidence, the guy who messaged me about it on carousell only lives 2 blocks away from me! he says he might be interested in more of my pens, so here's hoping he helps me declutter.

what am i going to do with tomorrow's half day off? the obvious answer would be "come home and unpack/declutter more", but i kind of want to do something out of the ordinary. like, go somewhere or have a good meal. for no reason in particular, except that i have the time and means to do so now. where would i go, though? maybe i should go for TCM, to get my left shoulder looked at. i noticed yesterday during overhead presses that my left arm pressed the weight up to a noticeably lower height than my right. think it's a range of motion issue. or perhaps i should wait till my accident insurance plan starts before seeing the TCM. having crochet guy as my agent is another topic i want to talk about, but not tonight. when i feel less sleepy, i guess!

-random thought of the day: 3.5 day weekend!-

Short day today, thank goodness. considering that the other 3 chemistry guys and i polished off 3.25 bottles of wine last night, i'm surprised that i haven't crashed already. it was nice to see them again; we last met probably more than a year ago, when i introduced the ex to them. the 4 of us spent about 6 hours eating, drinking, talking, and laughing...just what a good get-together should be! i also caught them up on my adventures since starting to live on my own (aka. guys i've brought back), and was caught up about developments in their lives too. hearing about how the 2 married ones have to navigate married life and kids (especially primary 1 registration), i'm even more convinced that not having kids is the way to go for me. that's not to say that they made the wrong decision or anything...it's just that different people make different choices, and one is not more "correct" than another in this case.

one thing i'm grateful for with this bunch of friends is that i don't have to be too wary of what i say, because i know they won't judge me. in fact, they were asking me about some M18 details about the aforementioned guys out of genuine curiosity, and shared some of their past experiences too. the conversation got a bit spicy, but a different kind of spice than with scary JC friend since these guys don't like guys. but i do appreciate that we're comfortable enough around each other to share what i'd consider to be fairly intimate information.

two ideas we touched on left a deeper impression on me. background info for the first thing: back when we were in undergrad, one of them tried to counsel another one of the chemistry guys, who is gay. unfortunately, the gay guy is also christian, and the self-doubt and self-loathing from these 2 conflicting aspects of his life (plus some other family-related stuff, i'm told) led to him being quite depressed at that time. my friend gave him rather harsh advice, which was essentially "you can either be gay or christian, but not both". looking back, my friend said that he dealt with it poorly, and it was not the best advice to give someone in that mental state. but he also said that that was what he thought was right at that time, and he didn't have any regrets. i think that's something that i have to learn...to believe that i did the best i could at any given point, and not to let hindsight colour my view of my decision at that time. of course hindsight can be used to find learning points, or to figure out what i could have done better, but i shouldn't blame myself in hindsight. anyway, things seem to have improved significantly for the gay guy...his social media posts for the past few years have hinted at him being in a committed long-term relationship. i'm nothing but happy for him, really. although the slightly mean part of me wonders what kind of guy the boyfriend is, to be able to put up with him? from my interactions with the guy, i've always found him to be a good guy at heart, but not the easiest to get along with.

second idea was about responsibility. as we were talking about how some people in our social circles who are the same age as us had already gone through divorce, the thought that it's lucky that the divorced people hadn't had kids before the divorce came up. we all agreed that the kids were innocent collateral damage in a divorce, and i was really heartened to see that the marriages of my married friends (who have kids) seem to be still going strong. i must admit that i'm a little awestruck at just how much they do, which is also a measure of how much attention/care kids need. many people have told me that if i have a kid, sacrificing for them will come naturally to me and i'll be capable of devoting my life to them. present me thinks that while i might be capable of it, i might not be doing it willingly or wholeheartedly. all things considered, the kid-less path is still safer for me in the end.

we ended past midnight, and i went to sleep almost immediately after they left. i recall having some weird dreams, possibly due to the alcohol. can't say for sure what they were exactly about, but i do remember one being pretty emotional. woke up with my alarm but lazed in bed a bit too long, resulting in being a bit later than usual for work, where the new file management system just launched. i suppose it would be asking too much for the launch to go perfectly. although to be fair, it wasn't a blazing trainwreck either. the platform itself was accessible, but several key functions (such as submitting cases!) were not working. my mentor also asked me for a chat, to revise the assessment of one of last week's tricky cases. so it seems we're back to being more in line with my initial assessment, although she added a few things which i missed out earlier. it should go out tomorrow or whenever the new system is working as intended, ideally no later than the end of this week. she also suggested that i present this case at our next division meeting. i'm ok to do it, but i hope that the meeting won't be held so soon. best would be september, so that it's after IP week and i can make sure my KPI points are in order first.

speaking of which, we had a site visit for IP week in the afternoon. that meant i got to leave the office after lunch-ish. it only takes 20 minutes from paya lebar to MBS by the circle line. that's so convenient! it'll probably take a bit longer from home since there are more stops between ubi and bayfront stations on the downtown line, plus the walk from home to the station. even then, i estimate my total commute to be maybe 40 minutes, tops. it'll mean having to leave the house earlier though, both because the commute is longer and the reporting time is earlier vs. a typical office day. but that's towards the end of the month, so no use thinking too much about it now.

in the nearer future, this week looks quite relaxed. working from home tomorrow and wednesday, where i hope i can prepare another 1-2 cases (or 3 if i'm really lucky) for submission. will probably plan a gym trip on one of those days. full day in the office on thursday, then national day celebration and half day off on friday. still haven't decided what i want to do with the bonus half day. also reminder to self that next monday is a holiday, where i'm meeting scary JC friend and mentor figure for lunch. kind of want to reconnect with another of the chemistry guys who we don't see that often. guess i'll casually drop him a message, to see if he's free.

-random thought of the day: Feeling a bit sleepy now.-

Promising start to the day, but it soon became decidedly less positive. to be fair, it wasn't BAD-bad, just like, got up of the wrong side of bed/uncle murphy things. i woke up early and instead of lazing in bed, got up to shower and get ready to leave the house. ok, having to pee was probably the thing that got me out of bed, but it still counts and i'm taking that win! as i was taking my earphones out of the case while walking to the bus stop, i somehow nudged the ear tip of the left earphone against my finger, and it fell off. spent a couple of minutes looking around, but couldn't locate it. the ground was cement grey, so you'd think a black ear tip would show up quite obviously! but it didn't, so i figured that it had rolled into the (water-filled) drain or into the grass. that meant no music for me today.

thankfully, the alumni gathering was fun as usual, but maybe a little bit more subdued. could have been because of my mood after losing the ear tip too, so it's hard to say objectively. an old boy told scary JC friend and i that what we thought were mosquito bites from dinner on wednesday, were actually sandfly bites. no wonder they're so itchy! thanks to the malaysia OCIP experience during JC, i don't have a good opinion of sandflies at all. hopefully they'll stop itching after i take some zyrtec.

week 2 of tuition at the new place, and i'm kind of getting used to it. my friend gave me a smaller room this time, which means my voice echoes a bit more. unfortunately, the laws of physics don't discriminate, so the 2 new guys' voices also echoed while they were talking among themselves. i realize that i've been very lucky with the kids i've gotten so far...up till these 2 newest additions, at least. the 3 i started with were good, the 2 who joined at the start of this year caught up fast. these latest 2 however...i feel like a bit of friction might be developing. see, they give me the impression that they don't care too much about their learning...kind of the like they don't know something and they're not too bothered to find out, even while i'm explaining it. i mean, it's not acceptable to be this far into sec 3 and not know the 3 common acids! well...they joined late, so it's not my primary responsibility to catch them up. i still have to consider my existing 3 kids. luckily today was more on revision, so i could leave them alone more and focus on the new 2. the 3 even helped me think of questions! shows that their conceptual knowledge is solid enough, i guess.

yes, i know the other side of "if they were that good, they wouldn't need tuition". honestly, my current kids came in at about that level too, maybe a little better. now, they're asking me to buy them drinks if they score above 80% on their tests. i'd like to think i was at least partially responsible for that change in mindset! i also agreed, but set the bar at 85%. i have to remember that i'm not solely responsible for these kids' grades. i'm doing my part, and they have to do theirs as well. might need to give the 2 newest ones a toned-down version of the "you are responsible for your own learning" talk, for me to think about until the next session.

if only that had been the worst part of my day! i took the bus home again, and an hour's journey turned into 90 minutes because of increased traffic due to NDP rehearsal. i wasn't aware of it! but i guess i should have known/guessed, considering the actual event is like only a week away. the extra 30 minutes were spent in a huge jam in the bugis area. i've never seen so many buses all lined up together on the road before! no idea why it was crowded there, since the event seems to be at the national stadium. to think i was contemplating taking the train while waiting for the bus, but decided not to in the end! guess i missed the sign that someone was trying to give me. well, at least i could sit down all the way, and fellow passengers were MOSTLY well-behaved. small blessings!

the past week was kind of average. 2 cases came back with minor revisions, and 1 required a re-draft. i was also stuck for a couple of days on one case, due to there being no clear guidelines on how a particular disease is defined. decided to put that aside for now (going to ask my mentor on monday) and move on to another case, which turned out to be a slam-dunk, in that the invention is already pretty well-known. i'm going to complete it on monday (hopefully), which will accelerate my points a bit! speaking of monday, i've got a trip to MBS for a walk-through of the IP week venue. the rest of the week looks fairly routine other than that, and a national day celebration on friday. the company decided to give us a spontaneous half-day, which i appreciate. question is, what am i going to do with that half-day? i feel like i should make more out of it, like exploring somewhere, or doing something interesting. maybe i'll drop in on my aunt, if she's free.

as part of putting myself out there, i've been messaging people. i must not be understanding some part of this game correctly, because although people say they're looking for friends, one of the first things they do is ask for pictures. 2 things about that put me off. first, some people are rude about it. their first reply to my message (which i typed in complete sentences) is just "pic?". like...don't you have basic decency and/or conversational ability? it seems that the wide availability of apps these days means that there are a basically infinite number of people to talk to, and people are ok being this rude because the next person will come along. secondly, people judge by appearances. some people refuse to carry on the conversation without exchanging pictures, which i guess is well within their rights. some people ask you to send a picture first, then don't send one back, or just block you if they think you're not attractive enough, which i suppose is not wrong legally, but which i find morally/ethically repulsive. go libra equality/reciprocation trait! i'm at the point where i'm just trying my luck with online conversation, and not having too high expectations. i mean, even my expectation of receiving a response that shows a matching degree of effort is hardly met. i think i have better luck with meeting in person, which is why i suppose there will always be a need for physical venues. somehow, people tend not to be so nasty in person, i think because they can more clearly see/feel the consequences of their actions. also, i find it appropriate that the people who display lousy behaviour are also the ones whining about how they're so lonely, why doesn't anyone want to be their friend, etc. i just want to tell them to stand in the corner and do some reflection and repentance!

to wrap up this post, i'll talk about dinner on wednesday. a few of us got invited to seletar country club by one of the old boys. it was a passing conversation at the alumni gathering some time back, and it materialized that day. previously, another group of us was also invited for lunch at the british club by another old boy. it got me thinking if country club membership is something i want to chase. at present, the answer is "no", because it's not feasible, both economically and logistically. membership fees tend to be high, and the clubhouses tend to be out of the way. it's nice having friends/contacts who are members, though! made me think of my secondary school classmate, whose parents were (still are?) members at SICC. he invited us there, and it was pretty nice! anyway. dinner was in an alfresco area, which led to a few of us getting sandfly bites. was the dinner worth the resulting discomfort? let's see...steak, satay, fish head hotpot, pizza, chicken wings, char kway teow and possibly more vs. several days of itching...i'm undecided. the bites are itching like mad. with luck, the zyrtec will take effect soon.

-random thought of the day: Chemistry guys coming over tomorrow!-