Was feeling a little lazy today, so didn't do much (or any, rather) lab work. managed to get my imine NMR, which was quite nice. only problem is the existence of some water, which might cause the reverse reaction to occur. i'm finding it funny/mildly upsetting that my product still contains water despite the great pains i took to keep the reaction system anhydrous. probably that happened during the work-up step. should use distilled solvent next time.

but like i said before, this reaction was the easy one. the subsequent reaction which i'll do on thursday (not tomorrow due to classes) is the hard one. well, the reaction itself is easy, but the following column is hard. hopefully, fresher reagent leads to a better reaction, and i'll have more success this time round.

other happenings this week...TA is all but over. except for a few (like 6) people who wanted to redo their column, the lab was practically empty. between my friend and i, we had 3 students each. how's that for slack? luckily, there weren't any major issues, and we even ended early. last thing for the lab module is the test next week. the procedure is actually pretty easy. what's more, the lecturer was even nice enough to upload the exact experimental procedure a week in advance! that's why i say whoever is smart enough to fail really deserves it. of course, there are steps that, if done wrongly, can cause errors which can't really be recovered from. i just hope that they don't get nervous and mess up.

today, i got a huge weight off my shoulders by talking to my japanese lecturers. since i was in arts, i decided to call on my japanese 1 and 2 lecturer as well. by some stroke of good luck, i caught him just as he came back from somewhere else. chatted with him for about half an hour or so, and i don't know...even now, i kind of miss him and his teaching method. actually, i was kind of surprised that he made time to chat with me, especially since he doesn't teach me any more. the chat with my current lecturer was a bit more...serious, i think. basically told him what i thought about the mid-term, and some other stuff. while he didn't give any new advice (study, revise, ask the teachers if you don't know), i still feel better after talking to him. guess it's because he's more aware of my viewpoint.

i think i'm crazy. or at least more irrational than normal, if recent events are anything to go by. now that i think about it, part of the reason i didn't want to do lab work today was also because there was a (or rather, that) certain someone with whom i wanted to spend a little more time. see? irrational. bad for my health, i think. but still...i think i can juggle stuff well enough.

let's see...anything else? tuition with army boy will end after this week, as his exam is next tuesday. or we might have a couple more sessions for paper 1 and 2. for TKGS girl, her school is still teaching, so we still have to cover some stuff, like rate of reaction. nothing that difficult, i think. don't think i missed anything out, but if i did, i'll probably mention it in another post.

-random thought of the day: Got my replacement earphone things!-

Guess monday's TA being cancelled is a good thing after all, as my reaction failed today. well, to be more specific, the reaction succeeded, but i kind of messed up handling the product. so, it kind of reverse-reacted to give the starting materials again. so, i added even more reagent and catalyst, and put it back onto the heat. i'll check on it tomorrow, but deal with it only on monday. figure that rushing too much is bad. due to the unexpectedly long(er) and (more) painful process, i had to cancel with army boy today. i feel so bad, because i kept him waiting for quite a while. didn't count on him having something else on. anyway, we're rescheduled for tomorrow, so no major harm done, i hope.

despite today being a public holiday, i still went back to school. for some reason, i don't like being at home when there are too many people. reduces the chances of me encountering stupidity. yet, no matter how hard i try, i can't escape it totally. anyway, it was kind of surprising, yet expected, to find most of the phd students back in lab as well. seems that going to lab everyday really means "every day". on the bright side though, i guess that means i'm on the right track to becoming a phd student.

there's a difference between having interest in someone and just being friendly with someone. but when you like someone, the line between the two becomes blurred. i don't know...while i don't want to appear...stalker-ish/needy, i also have this odd urge to send the person a message at least once a day. damned hormones.

-random thought of the day: Tired. Will continue over the weekend.-

The week so far has been...kind of routine. TA, lab work, and the occasional bit of studying. TA-wise, the students finished early, so it means they get a lab session off next week. while it's nice to have a break, it also means that i get paid for a week less. guess it'll be worth it if i use the time productively for honours research.

going by the way things are working out in lab, i'm definitely going to need those extra few hours. after changing to a slightly different compound, my reaction has gone back to failing again. well, not completely failing, but i've got ridiculously low yields and slightly impure product even after purification. don't know whether i'm leaving the reaction for too long or too short. and i'm running out of starting material too...but that's a minor problem since that can be synthesized with much greater ease. hoping that i can finish purification tomorrow, and end up with enough compound to move on to the main reaction. after that, i'll change to a different functional group, and hopefully never deal with this specific compound again.

semester is ending soon, which means that some last few tests are creeping up on us. there's a transition metal organometallics test 2 weeks from now, as well as the standard assortment of japanese quizzes. good thing that this friday is a holiday, as that means the japanese conversation tutorial is cancelled. while i enjoy the class, it's also kind of a relief to not have to remember a conversation for once. i've also arranged to meet the japanese lecturer for a chat. for some reason, i find myself becoming increasingly lost in japanese. mostly my fault, because i don't spend much time on revision. still, i hope the chat will also address some of the remaining negativity left from the mid-terms.

finally, something not schoolwork-related. i don't know, but it seems i'm in like with someone (yes, again). nothing happened with the previous one...the interaction kind of died out. but for this one...it's different. at least, i think it is. could be my brain messing with me, as it tends to do pretty often. not sure if this will work out, or even if there's anything in the first place. well, i'll see where this goes, i guess.

-random thought of the day: Is it normal to hope for something beyond expectations?-

Maybe it was a bad idea to drive to school while my dad was away. don't get me wrong; it's convenient, saves time, and driving back at night is actually quite relaxing. the only problem is that it's made me want a car THAT much more. every time i think of getting a car of my own, i can't help but feel that it's an unreasonable/spoiled thought. once again, i'm operating under the assumption that while getting another car is costly, it won't bankrupt us. anyway, is it really unreasonable? i seem to be the kind of person who makes one sporadic big purchase, as opposed to many small ones. actually, it should even out, right? based on current (and projected future) earnings, i think i can afford petrol and servicing, but not the upfront cost of the vehicle. and since i can't afford it by my own means, i probably have no justification to want it. still doesn't stop me from hoping, especially during those annoying mornings when the buses don't come often, and are packed to the brim. maybe sometime into my postgrad studies.

for now, however, i won't be driving to school anytime soon, as my dad's back in singapore. went to the airport to pick him up, and got into a little bit of trouble for waiting in a no-waiting zone. don't think there'll be any serious repercussions, since i managed to stop the nice CISCO police officer in time. proceeded to the carpark, where i got charged $1.60 or so for about 40 minutes. felt kind of cheated, actually. in fact, i think i would have lost less money circling the arrival hall than parking in the carpark. if petrol costs about $2 per litre, and if one round is about 400m, and assuming i get 10km per litre, i could have done 25 rounds, which might actually have killed enough time. still, the best course of action is probably to find an inconspicuous place to park next time. either that, or leave the house slightly later. or maybe drive slower...whichever works.

as the first paragraph implies, i should be doing postgrad studies in NUS. reason why i say "should" is because although i've submitted the application, it hasn't been approved yet. then again, i don't think i'll get rejected, unless my CAP falls *touch wood*. also, i didn't apply to NGS in the end. kind of troublesome, plus there's an extra interview. though i get less money over the 4 years of my study, there'll be time to make it back in the future. besides, it's not like i can't survive on $2500 - $2800 a month.

in other news, tuition with army boy is becoming...frustrating. exam is in about 2 weeks, and he still has trouble differentiating nucleophiles from electrophiles. i am mildly worried. don't think it's entirely his fault though...army has been known to inhibit brain function. just hope that he sees the light soon.

compared to some of the chem kids, i'm fortunate enough to have my own place in the student room, along with my own fume hood in the lab. well, not really my own any more, since i'm now sharing with another honours student. still, it's better than some of my friends, who have to split 2 double fume hoods among 8(?) people. the only slight complaint i have is that the student room gets warm/stuffy at night. oddly, the corridor is still cool. i guess the air conditioning is controlled by separate systems. anyway, i decided to do something about it, and bought a power fan...kind of like the one i use at home, but smaller and thinner due to the space constraints at my table. quite excited to try it out, actually.

next friday is a public holiday. guess who didn't know that until recently? i'm grateful for the extra day of rest. actually, the holiday makes me half-tempted to go back to lab, but we'll see if there's a need for that as the day gets closer.

-random thought of the day: Feeling kind of unbalanced.-

Being 24 is not much different from being 23...or 22...or 21...you get the idea. still, my age now shows that i've survived 2 (chinese) zodiac cycles. with any luck, many more will follow. got a few birthday wishes, mainly from the chem kids, and one SMS from a number i didn't recognize. he/she (i'm betting on he) knew me well enough to say "bird-day". so far, i've eliminated NUS and CJC people, so i'm guessing it's someone from the extended family, secondary school, or army. quite surprised that someone else remembered, since i don't really publicize it. my wish this year is more or less the same as it has been for the past 3 years. maybe if i don't write it out explicitly for once, it'll come true.

today wasn't that special. but then, my birthdays don't tend to be special anyway. i'm kind of happy that in general, things went more smoothly today, like my timings coinciding with the buses' arrivals, not being late for anything, and stuff like that. that was nice, i think. funny how i don't really believe that it's the 17th. i know all months have a 17th, but 17 october is...surreal, for some reason.

my plan of having breakfast at the community centre's dome cafe ultimately fell through. that's because it closed down after sunday. guess that plan's shelved until the new establishment comes up. from the looks of it, it's another cafe/eatery, so i'll wait for a bit.

well, that's it for now. i've got the car from tomorrow up till saturday, since my dad is going to phuket to participate in some run or another. gives me a bit more freedom...along with the parking and petrol charges. with that, i'm off to get started on a nice bottle of sake which i bought earlier. after all, what's a birthday without at least one drink?

-random thought of the day: Facing minor sleep debt.-

So, it took me 7 weeks to finally get really angry at a student. previously, i'd joked about killing them, but today was the first time i genuinely felt like slamming someone's head into a wall. it's not because he disrespected me (well, he kind of did, but i'll get to that later), or that he undermined my authority as a TA (i'm not power-hungry). instead, what he did was to proceed with the experiment without waiting for me to explain the details. i'm fine with that too, since he's done the experiment more times than i have, and he's more experienced. what made me angry was that the rest of the students, who have never done this reaction in their lives, followed him and did things blindly until i yelled at them to stop. based on what i saw today, i don't think that the students really learned much...so if their final is an organic synthesis, good luck to them.

the student in question had a valid point. he wanted to add the halide, then come for briefing. while that would have sped up the entire process, the students would not have seen the physical changes in the reaction mixture. and this is their only grignard reaction in normal undergraduate life, so i wanted them to watch everything that happened in the flask. it may have been slower, but it was for the teaching opportunity. well, i figure since there's only one experiment left, that student can do what he wants. can't bring myself to be bothered that much any more.

misfortune also seems to occur in groups of 2 or more. not only was i almost late today, for the first time in my undergraduate life, i hurt myself in lab. what happened was that i applied excessive force to a glass rod while stirring a fairly viscous mixture (one of the kids' reaction mixture). the glass rod broke, and cut me on the middle segment of my right index finger, facing the palm. it looks similar in size to some knife cuts i'd sustained before while cooking, so i don't think it's that big of a deal. should heal up in a week or so, hopefully. right now, the plan is to cover the wound with a plaster before lab work...troublesome as it is.

getting that off my chest feels so much better. now, to face yet another source of unhappiness...japanese tomorrow. i'm still not quite over the mid-term. don't know if the tutor will address the issue, or of she even knows i'm upset. this is bad. i seem to be getting angry more easily these days. think i need something cooling.

-random thought of the day: My wrists hurt.-

It's been 2 consecutive rainy sundays. this week though, i didn't have tuition, so i was able to enjoy it a little more than last week. luckily, i got my errands done early, and came home before it began to pour. those errands involved paying my phone bill, depositing the tuition fees, buying train concession, topping up my ez-link card, and borrowing a few library books. doesn't seem like a great deal of effort, and it isn't. nevertheless, i like the thought of getting many things done.

the one thing i planned for, but didn't get to do today is have breakfast at dome. main reason is because i slept at about 2:00am last night, and only woke up at 10-something am today. add in a few delays caused by my phone bill (see below), and i wouldn't have made it in time anyway. i realize that i have to do it sometime this week, because one of the waiters told army boy that they'd be moving out sometime within this week. so, i've got to think of a new tuition venue as well, but that can easily be arranged. the priority now is to catch them before they move. going by my schedule, the best time would either be tomorrow or thursday. see how things go.

my phone bill this month gave me a shock at first. normally, the amount i have to pay is quite fixed...$43.35, provided i don't exceed my allowed minutes or internet usage. this time, the letter said $86.70, or exactly double my usual amount. a call to the customer service people revealed that i didn't pay last month's bill, and a quick ibanking check confirmed that. just when i was thinking that it's been too long since i paid the phone bill. seems like they only cut your service off if you don't pay for 2 consecutive months. never knew that.

gave tuition to army boy twice this week, once on thursday and again on saturday. now that we're moving into organic, i expected to have an easier time, since it's my specialization. unfortunately, i didn't count on him having proportionally larger problems with organic as well. he's got problems with remembering reaction names, conditions, and seeing synthesis routes. can't be that seeing synthesis routes is a special gift or anything, right? or maybe most of the chem kids are able to do it, that's why it appears normal.

other interesting news from school is that my lab got a new postdoc, as well as another phd student whose professor left the school. with 2 of the current phd students about to graduate, that brings the net headcount change to...zero. to think i was hoping for more space! so much for that thought. so far, the postdoc is kind of nice, not putting on airs or anything like that. i'm kind of mildly jealous that he's only 3 years older than me, and already has his phd. but well, that's how NS messes with singaporean guys.

seems like i still can't submit my phd application yet. there are still a couple of details which i have to iron out with my professor and the admin staff. if all goes well, i should be well ahead of the 15 november deadline. still considering whether to apply to/for NGS or not. after talking to one of my lab seniors, it seems that the only negative difference is 2 extra modules, while the positives include more allowance and complete freedom of module choice. seems worthwhile, right?

yesterday, we went to celebrate my cousin's birthday (and mine too, in advance) at this place called uncle leong's seafood in punggol. the food was pretty good and affordable (~$300 for 10 people). the downsides are the ulu location and the poor service standards. not somewhere i would go often, or by public transport. there was also a prawn-catching place and a pool place nearby. the pool place was interesting, in the sense that it charges students and army people $2 for 4 hours. that's like...3 to 4 times cheaper than the typical pool place. just wonder how much they make a day. granted, the location is rather out of the way, so their overheads should be ridiculously cheap. then again, it was pretty crowded yesterday when we went, so i guess they can get by.

incidentally, my dad kind of mentioned that the flat which he balloted for is located quite near the seafood place. and if memory serves, i saw that the closest stop is actually an LRT station. this kind of confirms my decision to get a car if i'm midway through phd studies if/when we move there. it's just way too far from school for me.

well, that's it for now i guess. don't think i missed out on anything. and even if i did, there's always another post waiting to be written, right?

-random thought of the day: Did I just agree to join a kata competition?-

Exams and tests should allow students to apply concepts they've learnt from class. time should be controlled, but the students should not be pressed too tight for time. i'm writing this because of the japanese mid-term today. there were 6 sections, including listening, reading (passage was 1 page long), and writing a short essay (~400 characters). total time? 1 hour. listening took about 5 minutes (rounded down), so that leaves 55 minutes for 5 sections, or 11 minutes per. just the reading and writing alone took me about half an hour. it was completely unreasonable to set such a tough paper, given the short time limit. 90 minutes would have been more appropriate. as i've said before, i can accept not knowing the answer. i can't accept being so rushed that i don't have time to write down what i know. had i known that the test was going to be like that, i wouldn't even have bothered studying, and focused on research instead. realistically speaking, i'd be happy with about 32/50.

i know i shouldn't be demoralized that easily, given my eventual goal. yet, it's hard to not feel bad after such a catastrophic performance. maybe i'll feel better after some sleep. at any rate, i hope my right wrist stops feeling funny soon. think i overabused my hand when smacking concrete pillars in frustration/anger.

-random thought of the day: Still angry.-

A nice rainy sunday late morning/early afternoon has resulted in me rotting almost the whole day away in bed. not the most productive way to spend my time, but it's not bad either. i'm feeling more rested, and the only possible downside is that i sleep too late later on because of that. but since the weather is still nice and cool, i don't think that'll be a problem.

giving tuition to the army boy this week has given me an interesting thought. we're meeting at the community centre's dome cafe every sunday morning. during these sessions, i often see families there for breakfast. makes me wonder why they do it, seeing as the breakfast stuff (eggs, bacon, tomato, mushrooms, bread/toast) can be prepared at home. my guess is between 2 theories...first, convenience. second, a change in scenery. it's actually a nice place. warm/cosy environment, quite quiet (except for the occasional blender and coffee machine noises), with friendly and attentive staff. i'm actually quite tempted to have breakfast there one sunday (despite not being a breakfast person). just have to get up early enough to have some appetite by 10:30am.

thankfully, my careless mistake for organometallics didn't do much damage. the lecturer was ridiculously fast with the marking, and we got our papers back on friday, 2 days after the test. to my surprise, i got 41/50. as expected, i lost marks for the mis-balanced equations, as well as in some other questions, the answers to which i guessed. must remember to be careful with phrasing and terminology...saying that a metal has "one oxidation state" is different from saying it has "one stable oxidation state".

for lab work, i'm running into a bit of a problem with my synthesis. it's the same reaction, but with a different starting material. the reaction doesn't seem to work! don't know if my literature is inaccurate, or if i'm misinterpreting something, or if the reaction simply cannot be done. i've left it stirring over the weekend, so hopefully i get something tomorrow when i go check on it before TA.

seems that my postgrad application is more or less confirmed. by that, i mean the act of me applying for postgrad studies, not that my application was accepted. so...4 more years in NUS, hopefully with a phd to show for it in 2017. but there are certain things i have to do, like prepare documents and other similar annoying stuff. not to forget that my professor is going overseas for a conference in november, so i have to get everything sorted out in the next 2 weeks.

one major downside to phd studies is that plan japan will have to be delayed for a while. i figure that it's actually not that bad, though, since i need more time to brush up on my japanese. a japanese teacher (as in a teacher from japan, not a teacher of japanese) who came over for an exchange/interaction session recommended that i pass JLPT N1 (the highest level) before thinking about working there. so, that's another goal to work towards. i figure that even if i can't take japanese 5 and 6 in NUS, 4 years will be enough to get me up there.

not sure if i mentioned this before, but watching anime (i only watch subtitled anime, none of that dubbed stuff) and listening to japanese songs is becoming a lot more enjoyable. main reason is because i'm hearing more words and sentence patterns which we've studied in class. makes it interesting, i guess. sometimes, there are bits and pieces that get lost in translation, so it's nice to understand the original meaning. but given my amateur-ish understanding, there should be more layers of meaning which i'm not getting.

with the pending closure of city of heroes, i've re-unlocked my signature character (a stalker, interestingly enough) for the purpose of exploring the world a bit more. there's actually not much i haven't seen (new content aside), as i've been actively playing for about around 3 years. sad thing is that despite the closure being more than a month away, the game is more or less a ghost town now. at least i managed to hit level 50, which brings a sense of closure, i guess. there's not much i can do now in-game as well...just jumping around, revisiting zones that i haven't been to for a long time.

next week, there's one last mid-term (japanese) to tackle. probably should have done a bit of revision over the weekend, but it's a bit too late to regret that now. guess i'll use tomorrow and tuesday to catch up. guess lab work won't be my major focus for the first half of the week or so. just praying that i can somehow figure out what's wrong with this reaction.

before i go, i think i should do a lyrics post. today's song is japanese, quite old, and more popularly known in the west as "sukiyaki", which is really misleading as food is nowhere mentioned in the song. upon first impression (to me at least, back when i totally didn't understand japanese), the tune sounds neutral or even slightly happy...probably due to the whistling. but actually, it's quite a heavy/sad song.

Ue wo Muite Arukou (I Face/Look Upwards As I Walk)

Romaji
Ue wo muite arukou
Namida ga koborenai you ni
Omoidasu haru no hi
Hitoribocchi no yoru

Ue wo muite arukou
Nijinda hoshi wo kazoete
Omoidasu natsu no hi
Hitoribocchi no yoru

Shiawase wa kumo no ue ni
Shiawase wa sora no ue ni

Ue wo muite arukou
Namida ga koborenai you ni
Nakinagara aruku
Hitoribocchi no yoru

*whistling*

Omoidasu aki no hi
Hitoribocchi no yoru

Kanashimi wa hoshi no kage ni
Kanashimi wa tsuki no kage ni

Ue wo muite arukou
Namida ga koborenai you ni
Nakinagara aruku
Hitoribocchi no yoru
Hitoribocchi no yoru

*note: "wo" is pronounced "o", like the english letter*

Kanji
上を向いて歩こう
涙がこぼれないように
思い出す春の日
一人ぼっちの夜

上を向いて歩こう
にじんだ星を数えて
思い出す夏の日
一人ぼっちの夜

幸せは雲の上に
幸せは空の上に

上を向いて歩こう
涙がこぼれないように
泣きながら歩く
一人ぼっちの夜

*whistling*

思い出す秋の日　
一人ぼっちの夜

悲しみは星の影に
悲しみは月の影に

上を向いて歩こう
涙がこぼれないように
泣きながら歩く
一人ぽっちの夜
一人ぽっちの夜

Translated
I face upwards as I walk
So that my tears don't fall
I remember a Spring day
For tonight I am all alone

I face upwards as I walk
Counting the blurry stars
I remember a Summer day
For tonight I am all alone

Happiness is above the clouds
Happiness is above the sky

I face upwards as I walk
So that my tears don't fall
I cry as I walk
For tonight I am all alone

*Whistling*

I remember an Autumn day
For tonight I am all alone

Sadness is in the shadow of the stars
Sadness is in the shadow of the moon

I face upwards as I walk
So that my tears don't fall
I cry as I walk
For tonight I am all alone
For tonight I am all alone

-random thought of the day: Nothing comes to mind, actually.-

Not blogging for a week is starting to have some negative effects. beginning to think too much, worry unnecessarily, and do some other unhealthy stuff. tried to blog this past saturday as well, but i just couldn't organize my thoughts regarding what i wanted to blog about. it's not that important, anyway. i'll sit on it for a bit, i guess.

checking back, my last post was...last tuesday! wow, it's been THAT long. nothing much happened during recess week, mostly just lab work with a couple of study days. don't think anything significant really happened...nothing much that i remember, anyway. tuition is a lot more relaxed since i dropped those 2 kids. they didn't contact me, so that's it. frees up my saturday a little. i've also seen the army kid i mentioned a while ago. while he says that his memory is bad, and that he's a little slow in catching concepts, i find him to be not difficult to teach. or maybe we just haven't reached the difficult topics yet. anyway, i think he'll be ok.

this past sunday, i also went for my last external japanese lesson. there's supposed to be a revision this coming sunday, but i think it's kind of pointless. yes, i know i paid for the revision lesson as well, and i should go to make my money worth it. despite that, i can't really bring myself to be bothered about it. felt kind of bad when the teacher asked why i wasn't continuing. but truth is, university workload is increasing, so something else has to make way for now. i was kind of mildly annoyed at one of the remarks the teacher wrote on my homework, and that was to write my kanji more neatly. having studied chinese and written chinese characters for most of my life, i've kind of developed my own "font". same with english letters. so, it just feels weird to be asked to modify my writing style, especially when the problems are minor (like rounded corners, for instance). but i understand he's trying to do his job well.

lab work so far this week has been kind of sporadic, due to various quizzes and mid-terms. despite that, i still managed to do a few NMRs, and i can now confirm that the reaction worked. does my heart good to see that. still have to do a bit more optimization, while concurrently making other substrates, which means more long syntheses...or rather, long columns. well, it should be ok, considering my next mid-term is a week away.

mid-terms...i feel really annoyed with myself for organometallics, which i took earlier today. there was one question where we had to complete a complicated reaction scheme, balancing the compounds throughout. for some weird reason, i forgot that since the the amount of magnesium doubled, there would be a corresponding increase in the amount of magnesium bromide produced, thus getting rid of my 2 excess bromine atoms, giving me dimethyl zinc. i know it doesn't make much sense writing it like this, but in layman terms, i mis-balanced a chemical equation. for shame! it's the kind of mistake i would barely tolerate from my sec 3 kid, so i think you can see how mad i am with myself. but to put it in perspective, i'll lose at most 3 marks from this mistake. 3 marks out of 50 total for a 20% test is...1.2 marks out of my overall grade. while i hate to lose marks like that, i have another test and the final to redeem myself.

one of my friends has a seriously low level of social awareness. it's like, he opens his mouth without thinking. consequently, he's said some retarded things (for lack of a more appropriate description) in front of the very people whom those things concern. it's not that i can't handle him being blunt. i have blunt friends with whom i get along pretty well. it's just that this guy's content/social filters are either totally absent, or are being severely underutilized. though i know he's actually a nice guy with good intentions, i still can't help but feel a stab of irritation after even short interactions.

postgrad matters are taking a backseat in my head, but i thought i should do some analysis now, since i'm having some rare free time.

pros:
familiar environment
(eventual) seniority in the lab, and NUS
high chance of acceptance
direct phd after 4 years
FINALLY getting a transponder (minor)

cons:
4 more years of study
possibly being overqualified after graduation
4 MORE YEARS!
research may not always go smoothly
having to study (though it's only 6 modules + maybe 2 japanese)
maybe somewhere better will accept me

admittedly, it's not very objective or well done (a sign that i'm tired), but i figure this is a good starting point for future reference. and here's something i discovered. graduate students can read elective modules on an S/U basis, subject to approval from the host faculty. that means that my argument for taking japanese is stronger, provided they allow me to S/U. the disadvantage is, S/U declaration must be done at the point of module registration, so if i decide to S/U and eventually get an A, that won't help my CAP at all. decisions decisions.

got a huge shock when i checked my email a couple of days ago. city of heroes is closing down. checking the website verified that. it's odd because the announcement was so abrupt. according to stuff posted on the forums, it seems that the staff were given only a day's notice to pack up and leave. many of us are still asking why, but i doubt we'll get an answer. sucks, because if there ever was an MMO i'd invest in, it was this one. still, it's had a great run of about 8 years, and i have many (mostly) good memories of the game. the servers will remain up until sometime in november, so i was thinking of logging in for a few last looks around. maybe on my freed-up sundays.

can't think of anything else that i haven't mentioned...except that i've been having weird dreams. but that's normal-ish for me. event forecast: i'll be pulling a lot of overtime in the lab, for reaction monitoring and that long column, among other things. if i can make it past next wednesday, things will turn out ok.

-random thought of the day: Why am I becoming more careless!??-