Hokay...one short little post before i (re-)start on maths.

like i've said about 2 or 3 times previously, maths is my last paper tomorrow. as luck (or misfortune) would have it, it's at 9:00am. on the bright side, i'll be free by 11:00+. less pain and all that. the downside is that i have less time to study before the paper.

right now, i don't feel as prepared as i should be feeling. limits, differentiation, integration and fourier series are more or less ok. can't say the same for double integration and differential equations though. and don't even get me started on stats. i think i've retained only about 75% of JC work, and that only counts for like 30% of the total subject content that we're supposed to know. good thing they allow help sheets. speaking of which, i need to go off to start on my stats one, and re-write my pure maths one...after one more thought.

earlier this morning, i had my first coaching session with the primary school kids since university started. yes, i went to coach primary school kids one day before my maths paper. suicidal much? thankfully, it was a small group with zero primary 3's! maybe it's just me, but i felt that the session went better than before, now that i've been properly certified. as in, i could give more effective and accurate feedback to the kids. not to mention that i feel more in tune with what my boss is thinking. once again, it may just be me; i don't know. hopefully this happens again on wednesday, then i can prove my hypothesis.

ok...that's enough slacking/procrastination. i'll get my help sheets done by 11:30 (or earlier if possible), then call it an early night. must be at full mental alertness during tomorrow's paper, and for the havoc after that.

-random thought of the day: MUST BRING CALCULATOR!-

In the short span of a few days, my finals have gone from "just started" to "almost over". with physical chem on tuesday, and bio today over and done with, i'm left with one more paper (maths) next tuesday before i can completely relax.

the physical chem paper was a real killer. practically everyone had the same reaction after the paper ended, and it went something like "siao liao lo!!!". well, it was comforting, in a sick sort of way, to see that i wasn't alone on this. as for today's bio paper, it was do-able, but i think i sort of panicked towards the end due to insufficient time. filled in a couple of answers at random too, according to what looked the most logical at that point of time.

while getting ready to leave the house this afternoon, i accidentally dropped my bag upside-down onto the floor, onto some other stuff. i noticed a calculator, and just left it on the table. it was only when i reached school when i realized that the calculator i left at home was MINE. so clever, right? leaving my calculator at home on an exam day. well, at least bio's not calculation-intensive, like my other modules. luckily, i managed to borrow a calculator from my physics TA. as another point of interest, today's featured article on wikipedia is NAD⁺. how's that for a coincidence? one other piece of happy news i discovered today is that my current bio lecturer (who's a nice guy and great teacher) will be lecturing my biochem core module next semester. yays.

i also went to collect my lab reports for the physical chem module. my 4 reports' scores are A+, A, B+, B. now that i write it out like that, i realize that it's quite sequential. anyway, that's roughly worth an A- average, which is good, since i need all the marks i can possibly get.

even though it's been 3 days since my modern chem paper, i still feel kind of guilty. i know i didn't really give it my best effort, and the results will probably reflect that. if only there was a way to re-sit for the exam...i wouldn't mind if the professor wanted to set a more difficult paper for the re-test. but, as fate (and the university) would have it, that's not going to happen. bleh. i'd be grateful for a B+ in that module, though i'm still hoping against hope for an A-, or even an A.

for the first time in my schooling experience, it seems that nobody has anything positive to say after leaving the exam hall. usually, in secondary school and/or JC, there would be some sick people who said that a particular subject's exam was easy (of course, i would be one of those sick people for chem). in university, everyone comes out of the exam hall with the same traumatized expression. or maybe the select few who actually did think it was easy kept quiet and put up an act for fear of being killed by everyone else.

now that my semester 1 grades have more or less been decided, i have to start planning ahead. realistically speaking, i think my average grade for this semester will be a B+, or A- at best. i'm not really concerned about the grade itself, but the CAP. i'm still fuzzy on the specifics, but from what my seniors have told me, anything below an A- limits your maximum possible CAP to 4. thanks to the NUS CAP calculator, i've calculated that my CAP will most likely be between 3.9 to 4.25. it's good to know that my honours dream hasn't been crushed yet (the minimum requirement is a CAP of 3.5). looks like i'll have to push harder during subsequent semesters. messing around with the CAP calculator has also made me realize that i absolutely cannot afford to get a C at any time in my university life. if i happened to get a C, i'd need a full semester of A+'s to negate it. BUT...i won't think about it right now. there are more important things on my mind, like maths.

speaking of which, i have to arrange for a study date with my maths professor. i'm still a little shaky on double integrals and differential equations. and that's only for pure maths. don't even get me started on stats, which i completely have not touched. looks like i'll be filling up all available space on my help sheet(s...i think i get to bring 2 of them in). but right now, the number one priority is to relax a little before chionging maths over the next few days.

-random thought of the day: How can people find the mood to be thankful in the midst of exams!?-

Finals have started! just had my modern chem paper today. it was...not exactly easy, but not exactly killer either. too bad i stunned on the MO theory question. ended up not doing that (the paper format was 1 compulsory, then choose any 3 out of 4) and focused on the others. wasted quite a bit of time there though. made a few stupid errors, too. my best possible mark is 78/100, and i don't even want to think about the worst possible scenario. definitely prayed to the wrong uncle before the paper. with that, i think i can safely say that my A for this module is gone. of course, i wouldn't be adverse to the bell curve skewing things in my favour, but i highly doubt that'll happen. what IS more likely to happen is that the bell curve will flatten my grades even more. well, i'll take the news when it comes, and maybe try to squeeze out an extra mark or two again.

tomorrow brings the physical chem paper. there are definitely some more things which i need to read up on, but i figure i'll do a bit tonight and most of it tomorrow. of course, not forgetting prayers to several uncles again.

i've been meaning to blog about this for a while, but it somehow slipped my mind each time i was writing. it's about the value of a person. not in terms of actual physical value, but more like, say, if i were to sell myself based on my skills and attributes, how much could i earn? i suppose the real question is, how much would you pay for an A-level graduate with some tutoring capabilities, (barely passable) driving skills and who is a certified coach (yes, i passed the NCAP exam after all)? of course, i'm NOT actually selling myself, so the advertisement isn't all that complete (notice i left all the negative stuff out!). but you get the idea. to be honest, i don't know what prompted this train of thought. i do know, however, that it has been on my mind for the last week or so. personally, i think it depends on how well you get along with the person too.

on second thought, i don't think i'll get any study done tonight. too much bad aura left over from this afternoon's paper. instead, i'll call it an early night (11:30pm kind of early) and wake up early tomorrow to study. must get all those nice formulae right.

-random thought of the day: Ugh.-

Reading week is practically over, and i don't feel all that well-read. seriously, it's like there's an anti-study cloud following me everywhere. not to mention the weather, which turned this afternoon's study session into intermittent nap-times. so far, i've annotated my bio notes and studied a bit of maths. have barely scratched the surface for both my chem modules though. truth be told, i'm probably overconfident, especially after the mid-term. yes, i know i'll probably end up kicking myself really hard when i'm in the exam hall for thinking like this. but...i can't really help it. this is the first time in my life i'm using my brain to this extent in NOVEMBER. guess the holiday mood kicked in way too soon.

i don't know how worried i should be feeling. other students are spamming the forums, asking stuff like, "do i have to study sources other than the notes?" and "do i have to bring in other textbooks for the open-book exam?" personally, i'm just going to bring in my notes, and maybe the lab manuals. i figure since the professor said that the notes would suffice, he wouldn't cheat my feelings.

seniors are a great source of information! one of my secondary school seniors (whom i didn't know back when we were both in cat high) is currently a maths major and chem minor in NUS. as such, he's taking the modern chem module as well, and by sheer coincidence, we got paired up in a lab session. anyway, my maths module allows us to bring a help sheet, which is essentially a piece of paper on which you can write whatever you want, into the exam hall. so cool right? i was quite stunned the first time i heard about this practice. so, having never written one of these things before, i asked him for advice on how to maximize the information per unit area of paper. he told me to use a fine-tipped pen (which i had thought of) and to copy some examples. that sounded weird at first, but he told me that some questions may be variations of examples, and doing those questions would then be easier, provided you copied the right thing. after thinking about it for a while, it does kind of make sense, particularly for the stuff i'm weaker in.

my cousin is back in singapore for his semester break. i really should arrange to meet up with him sometime...when the exams pose less of a threat, that is. maybe next friday or sometime then. damn exams, messing everything up.

oh, i'd wanted to mention this yesterday, but pushed it off due to...unforeseen circumstances. i received something in the mail which i've been waiting for for quite a long time. here's a clue to its identity: its name rhymes with "eye-ver's eye-sence". no prizes for getting the correct answer! now that it's here, i can throw away the PDL and that other piece of paper. should probably practise driving a bit more too. kind of difficult to arrange, actually, because i need both (1) p-plates, and (2) someone willing to lend me their car, at the same time. not easy, because i think the only people who match the second criterion would be my dad, and possibly my aunt and uncle. my dad uses the car for work, and it's unavailable more often than not. if my uncle and aunt were to lend me their car, i wouldn't have p-plates available since they're stored in my dad's car. maybe i'll just go for a night-time drive around the neighbourhood when conditions permit.

mmm...i'll have to look through my modern chem tomorrow, by hook or by crook. even though it appears brainless, that actually is greater cause for worry. it simply means that more people will score higher marks, which means that the A grade will be pushed sky-high, and even small mistakes become costly. in other words, there is less room for error. i still need to ensure my ideas about RDF, MO theory, band theory, transitions and some other stuff are correct. but right now, it's time to get off the computer.

-random thought of the day: Exam in 3 days!-

Checking my school email today turned out to be a horrible decision. a couple of emails in my inbox informed me that my physics lecturer passed away last night. apparently, he collapsed while exercising in the gym at one of the school's halls of residence yesterday evening. he was rushed to NUH, where he passed away later on in the night. the cause of death hasn't been established yet, but i have my suspicions. not going to post them here, though, in case i mislead anyone.

sucks how this kind of news catches you off-guard, doesn't it? i mean, it's a total bolt out of the blue. he appeared healthy the last time i saw him (which was last friday, when we had the physics final). if not for the fact that the email was in my NUS account, i would have dismissed it as a sick joke. now, i didn't really know him beyond the standard teacher-student relationship, but he had mentioned his kids a few times during lectures. as i understand it, his kids are pretty young. like "below 10" kind of young. i hope they'll accept it soon.

it's times like these that remind you of the fragility of life, and how everyone is equal before the grim reaper. doesn't matter whether you're a budding talent, road sweeper, big businessman, child, nobel prize winner or whatever...when it's your time, it's just your time. not much you can do about it, if anything at all. it makes me wonder about what happens after you really go up the proverbial lorry. that train of thought scares the hell out of me, too.

whenever i hear about things like this, i feel that i should draft out my last instructions just in case something untoward happens (*touch wood*). it's a horribly morbid thought, but from a logical point of view, it would make things a lot clearer and easier for the family. it would probably help a little with the mourning process too, since they know that they're doing things the way i would have liked them to be done. still, i won't be coming up with such a list anytime soon. call me presumptuous, but i plan on living (well, hope to live, at any rate) until at least 60.

don't you think it's ironic? people exercise to get fitter, but turns out it's the exercise that kills them. i'm not just referring to my lecturer's case alone; there have been numerous news articles about army boys, CEOs, sportsmen, and people from various other walks of life experiencing similar things. i suppose we can't just stop exercising due to the presence of the risk factor. instead, what we can do is minimize the risk by doing proper warm-ups and cool-downs, moderating the intensity of the workouts, going for regular medical/physical check-ups, and sticking to one of the few things the SAF finally learned - progressive training. having said that, i think i had better resume my exercise schedule after the exams...with reduced initial intensity, of course.

my intention was originally to blog about some happier stuff which happened before i heard the news, but i'll hold that off until tomorrow or some other appropriate time when the blogging impulse next strikes. for now, i'll leave it at this.

-random thought of the day: R.I.P., Dr. Su.-

Since it's past 12:00am, that means it's monday, and reading week has officially started. as of now, i have a tentative study plan in mind, and it looks something like this:

monday (today) - bio and maths (annotate notes and draft help sheet)
tuesday - physical chem and a bit of modern chem
wednesday - modern chem (email professor if necessary - last chance)
thursday - modern chem
friday - physical chem
saturday - bio (or rest day; maybe kaypoh at training)
sunday - modern chem
monday - modern chem (modern chem exam) physical chem
tuesday - physical chem (physical chem exam) rest
wednesday - bio
thursday - bio (bio exam) rest
friday - maths (maybe consultation)
saturday - rest
sunday - maths (finalize help sheet)
monday - maths (maybe consultation, edit help sheet if necessary)
tuesday - (maths exam) holiday begins

it could definitely be more detailed, like showing exactly which topics i want to study on a given day, and whether i want to practise papers or not, but remember - this is a rough draft. thankfully physics is out of my hair, which means i'm only juggling 4 finals instead of 5 like some of my schoolmates. gives me more time to spread around.

the one thing my schooling experience so far has taught me is that home is not a conducive study venue. there are way too many distractions! like the TV, the computer, the bed, the cupboards, the fridge, the sofa...the list goes on. in my attempts to study at home, i've noticed this odd habit. when i need a distraction, i tend to look in the cupboards and fridge. odd thing is, i have no idea what i'm looking for! it's not food, because there's practically nothing that is both edible and convenient to make. despite knowing this, i still look into those places every now and then. maybe i'm hoping something will magically appear? or i'm just looking through everything again in case i didn't spot a potential snack on my previous 2836 trips there. or, it could be like what i said earlier - i need a distraction. as you can tell, i've been very successful in the "distracting myself" aspect.

bearing that in mind, i need to find somewhere nice, peaceful, and most importantly, with minimal distractions. school is too far (and travelling to and fro is a pain). in spite of that, i'll probably have to go back to school on one of the days to print some stuff and maybe photocopy some past-year papers. no friends of mine would be willing to entertain me at their houses. besides, i'm sure they're studying their guts out too. i'd go to my cousin's place, but i don't want to inconvenience them. perhaps i need somewhere like...the library! the major problem that comes to mind is that the A-levels aren't over yet (they started late this year), so the limited spaces available may be occupied by the JC kids. also, i may end up forgetting to bring something that i wanted to study. guess i'll have to be extra-careful and extra-early so as to maximize my productivity.

well, with all that in mind, it looks like i'll be in for a pretty challenging week. not to the extent of pulling all-nighters or sick stuff like that, but it'll be mentally taxing to fit all those nice bits of information into my brain, AND making sure they stay there until the exam's over. but hey - it's nothing i'm not used to.

-random thought of the day: Why is there a warm spot on the floor in the middle of the living room?-

I've been meaning to write about this for a while, but it kept slipping my mind while i was blogging. it's a story about Uncle Boltzmann, which my modern chem professor shared with the lecture group about a fortnight ago. now, if you're taken science at JC level, you'll know how important his ideas are. the man even has a physical constant named in his honour! however, it was a different story when he was alive. a lot of people didn't really like him, and thought his work was rubbish. sadly, his confidence wasn't all that high, and he suffered from bipolar disorder as well. so, having his work put down repeatedly (and sometimes, not-so-nicely) didn't really help his self-esteem. in fact, he hanged himself in 1906, while he was on vacation. a hundred years later, we know for a fact that he was right all along. no disrespect intended, but if i had to guess, i'd say he's probably feeling a little silly up in the clouds somewhere. same goes for all the other scientists who made fun of his work. moral of the story: have confidence, and don't let others influence you unnecessarily.

part of the reason i remembered to write about this is because i got back my other 2 modern chem lab reports today. in one of those reports, i doubted myself and changed one of my answers to follow my friend's understanding of the concept. turns out my understanding was the correct one instead. anyways, there's no harm done, since the marker conveniently overlooked that question.

by some weird stroke of luck, both of those lab reports came back with A+'es. i swear, that made my day. i have this sneaky suspicion that the markers do use some degree of impression marking. the first 2 lab reports i turned in were handwritten, and received sucky grades (a B- and a D, if you really must know). and here i have 2 nicely-formatted, typewritten reports that each got an A+. of course, there are several other variables which i didn't really take into account, but my conjecture still stands. honestly, i can understand if they do this. i would be so super impressed if any of my tuition kids bothered to type out an assignment. too bad the marks i give them don't count for anything in school. well, at least i learnt this lesson now, as opposed to a couple of semesters later.

according to my rather rough calculations, my mid-term and lab work are worth about 22/30 marks for this modern chem module. the final exam is worth 70%, and from the mid-term experience, i'm going to have to squeeze every single mark i can out of it. arrgh. maybe i should consider going through some past-year papers.

on a brighter note, i just sat for my physics module final today, so that's one less thing to worry about. the paper itself was relatively easy (as expected of a GEM module), but there were tricky questions as well. optimistically, i'm hoping for above 35/45, though i honestly think i'll get something like 29. i don't know, nor will i worry about it until all of the exams are over.

right now, i'm contemplating going for training tomorrow. one of the coaches has came back from japan, and i think training will be more fun with her around. also, the O-levels ended today, which means some of the sec 4s may be free/bored enough to come down. see how. i really hope it doesn't rain tomorrow...then i'll feel more motivated to go down.

-random thought of the day: No Naruto this week! Sadness.-

What's wrong with me!!??

somehow or another, today didn't turn out as well as i'd have liked. there was just no mood to study! my plans of writing up a formula list for my physics exam, as well as coming up with the first draft of the help sheet for my maths exam totally didn't materialize. for some reason, i was horribly restless and distracted all throughout the day. i couldn't even concentrate on reading my notes. ended up taking a stroll to the j8 area in an attempt to work off some of the excess energy, and to get dinner as well. sadly, it didn't work (the getting rid of excess energy part, that is. dinner worked out fine).

today is probably another low in my sine graph. stuff didn't seem to work out. like, i lost at racing, and my unbeaten streak was put to rest. the mahjong game didn't like me either. the past 2 times i've played, i've at least managed to last for more than one round on one token. not this time though. frustrating, but i don't think i was fated for any big wins today. at least i managed to win one round of daytona against a friend who just happened to be in the arcade as well.

i can't really explain it, but people are often hostile (or at least unfriendly) to the people who care for them significantly. i admit i'm guilty of this too, but i can't really explain why. maybe it's because it's kind of stifling. or maybe the people who you find yourself caring about simply don't need/want the care. i'm probably being idiotic, especially since i'm worrying this much about people i'm not even related to. we're not even from the same school! so why the hell am i giving myself this additional source of additional stress?

...i don't know.

you'd think that by now, i'd learn about getting too emotionally attached to people who may not reciprocate with that same level of attachment. apparently, that's not the case. guess it's true that mankind is doomed to repeat its mistakes throughout all time. the sucky thing is that i can't just withdraw all interaction with this person even though that person will be more on the losing end than i will be should i choose to do that. i mean i could, but i won't. stupid emotions. it's just like the people whom i sometimes get annoyed with haven't forsaken me even though they have nothing to lose by doing so. ok, so they may end up losing my company, but personally, it doesn't seem like that much of a loss anyway. so, what am i to do? on one hand, i still want to keep my (metaphorical) door open to that person, but i also don't want that person to be the type that only approaches me when help is needed. and yet, that currently seems to be the case. sucks that things like these rarely go the way you want them to. oh well. i figure i'll let nature take its course here. what will be will be.

it's also true that no man is an island. maybe i need a pet. something low-maintenance (for now, at least, due to school and all...), like a cat. after all, cats do go off wandering for extended periods of time, right? i won't have to take care of them if they're not physically present for any care-taking that i may do. recently, i've found myself becoming more of a cat person. that doesn't mean that i'm any less of a dog person though, just that my liking of cats has increased. i guess it's partially because of the cat which regularly hangs out (heh. hanging a cat out to dry. bad mental images.) at the science canteen in school, or the other cat which hangs around one of the HDB void decks which i pass by on my way home from school. realistically speaking, my family is ill-equipped to handle any sort of responsibility that having a pet would bring, due to our odd schedules. guess i'll content myself with playing with those two cats when i get the chance.

all throughout today, i've had this urge to punch something as hard as i can. probably due to the pent-up energy again. i wonder if it's caused by a hormone imbalance or something? anyway, like i was about to say before being interrupted by that stray thought, it doesn't matter what that "something" is. could be a wall, steel beam, foam mat, wooden plank, or - my personal favourite - a person's face; i'd still go at it with all my might. only problem is, i would be more than likely to break or fracture a few fingers if i were to go all out against something too hard. with exams just around the corner, you can probably see that that would be a horrible inconvenience. so, i'll settle for the next best alternative, which is to go for training this coming saturday. i really really hope that there will be more juniors, even some of the sec 4s and J1s if their respective exams have ended by then.

incidentally, i think i've been cracking my knuckles too much, ever since sec 2 or so. so much so that the fourth knuckle on my right hand now makes cracking noises when i clench the fist. only thing is that these noises are less sharp than actual cracking. hope it's nothing to worry about, and that the whole "higher chance for arthritis" thing is a myth.

-random thought of the day: This low had better pass soon...-

"Oh, how the mighty have fallen..."

Can't remember where i first heard that quote, but it was the first thing that came to mind after looking at my chem paper. i scored 29.5/40, which seems pretty decent on first impression. but to put that in perspective, that's only worth a B-. after examining my paper, i found out that my total marks were counted wrongly. on top of that, one of the questions was marked wrong when it wasn't. so, my total marks went up to 32/40, with a potential addition of another half-mark being debated upon. even though that's a maximum possible score of 81.25%, i predict my grade will improve to only a B, or maybe a B+ if i'm really really lucky. it's kind of scary, seeing as the highest mark in the level is 39.5/40. what's worse is that i saw more than 1 person with that score! i could have got that kind of ridiculous score as well, if only i didn't misunderstand one question, and bothered to expand out another formula properly. arrgh. sucks to think about it now.

in an ironic twist, i scored 45/50 for the long questions in my physical chem module. putting that in perspective as well, the average mark seems to be 35. still have no idea about how i did for the MCQ though. assuming i barely passed the MCQ with 10/20, that's a total combined score of...70%. i should think (and hope) that it's higher than that though. now, my 2 careless mistakes have come back to haunt me. it was only after getting the paper back when i realized that those 2 mistakes in the MCQ meant that i actually threw 5 marks away. oh well. i'm more than happy with the 45, so i suppose i can afford to lose some marks in other places.

receiving these 2 grades has been kind of...weird. for the first time in my life, my grades don't match my interest levels in the modules! to me, physical chem is sort of boring and yucky. i mean, i don't want to spend my time calculating energies and entropies! modern chem theory, on the other hand, is more fun since i get to mess around with molecules, orbitals, electrons and all that stuff. sure, there's a little bit of energy calculation involved, but it's really more of estimation than calculation. and then there's the labs. my physical chem lab reports will most likely turn out better than the modern chem one, but that could be attributed to inexperience, since i did my modern chem lab reports first, and learnt from the mistakes made there in time for my physical chem lab reports. to be honest, i'm fairly confused now. maybe it's because i've been taking it too easy for the modern chem module. have to focus on it more.

despite wasting 2 hours and about $6 today, i guess going to school was worth it...just to give myself peace of mind. i'm still not too happy about the 32/40, but i only have myself to blame for that. idiotic.

*minor edit*
turns out i got 72.5/100 for physical chem, which means my MCQ got 11/20. not as good as i'd hoped, but i can live with it i suppose.

-random thought of the day: I have this sudden urge to drive...with no destination in mind.-

Moodiness has started to creep in a little, and i think it's because i've been putting blogging off. time to do something about that, so that i go back to being my happy self...as happy as i usually am, anyway.

so, my last post has a reminder for me to blog about social studies. i find it kind of funny that people are kicking up a big fuss about venice not being tested in this year's o-levels. if you don't believe me, check out this facebook group. students are complaining that they spent days/weeks/months memorizing facts and stuff about venice, only for it to not show up in the paper. some of them actually banked on just this topic alone to see them through the exam. if my memory serves, students are supposed to study ALL content for their exams. at least, that's what it was like when i was in sec 4. of course, teachers made suggestions about which topic we should concentrate more on, but as far as i know, even the most zai social studies teacher in my school never said, "oh. just study this one topic." we were always advised to have backups. of course, there are those who studied 5 out of 8 topics, only for the other 3 to come out. now, i really empathize with such people. as for those idiots who studied venice alone, they probably deserve what's coming to them.

met up with 2 of my JC classmates yesterday. they were in the neighbourhood to get haircuts, so we decided to go for dinner after they were done. we ended up going to j8's manhattan fish market. call me slow, but it was the first time i had eaten at this particular branch since it opened some months ago. somehow, my good impression of the manhattan fish market has been gradually eroded since 2006, when a couple of other friends and i went to the plaza singapura branch to celebrate their 18th birthdays. maybe i'll give them another chance sometime in the future before i decide whether or not to boycott the place for good.

other than that, we had fun catching up with each other. throughout the night, i found myself repeatedly thanking any and all higher powers that i didn't go to SMU. the students there must be inhuman or something...having to juggle presentations, research papers, group projects, and other scary stuff. i seriously don't know how they manage. or maybe NUS students are just way too slack. one thing's for sure though - i wouldn't survive half a day there.

i just found out that the grades for both of my major chem modules' mid-term exams have been released. still have no idea how i did for physical chem (i'll find out tomorrow), but i THINK it won't be all that horrible...except for the 2 careless mistakes, that is. hopefully that won't drag me down too much. as for my modern chemistry principles module, it seems that i got a B-. it may seem perfectly normal to any other student, but i'm not "any other student"! not for chem, anyway. i don't want to sound arrogant or anything, but i seriously thought that that paper was pretty brainless. after all, most of it was from JC, or an expansion of JC ideas. as such, i find my B- grade quite unbelievable. even one friend of mine, who (by his own admission) is more cui than me, got a B. of course, it could be that i've underperformed this time, but i'll go to school tomorrow to clarify my grade with the TA anyway, even if it's only for my peace of mind. just when i thought i could take the day off, too!

well, that should be all i have to say for now. i think i'll check on my chem assignment again, then go watch The Last Samurai on channel 5 at 6:30. seems like a good way to end monday.

-random thought of the day: I've caught the fanfiction-writing bug again.-

Ok...i haven't done point-form updates in a while, and i'm only doing it now because i'm tired. here goes:

- i got 85/100 for the maths mid-term. could have been 90 if i had remembered how to do a question which i ended up leaving blank, but i won't complain. 85 is already a stunner, considering i was expecting around 30. the ridiculously high score is mainly because my professor was nice and lenient in his marking.
- having said that, i don't understand how some people can get 40+ despite the professor's leniency.
- took my NCAP exam earlier on. it was kind of like the driving theory tests. brainless, but still fail-able. dare not say my pass is guaranteed, but i think my odds are pretty good.

right. that's pretty much everything i want to say at this time. i'll save the more philosophical stuff for tomorrow or some other time when i feel like writing more.

-random thought of the day: Reminder: blog about SS.-

Decided to spend my day off from school more productively for a change. so, i went back to my primary school for a little visit.

prior to today, the last time i went back to my primary school was when i was in JC. can't exactly remember whether it was J1 or J2, but definitely sometime then. anyways, the event that triggered this particular visit was my primary 5 and 6 form teacher getting facebook. a couple of my classmates added her, and sent me a friend suggestion. so, i added her too, and we began talking. our conversation somehow led to me asking her whether it would be convenient to drop by on wednesday (ie. today). she said yes, and i found myself at the primary school general office at 2:45pm today.

it was really nice to see her again, though i think she was more surprised to see me than i was to see her. funny how a kid's perception is distorted...i remember some of my teachers towering over me back when i was in primary school. puberty came and went, and now i realize that these same teachers are just adults with average heights. in fact, some of them are shorter than me now! must bear that in mind when i'm coaching the primary school kids.

we went for a little tour around the staff room, where i was (re-)introduced to some old teachers. for lack of a better comparison, my form teacher sounded like a proud mother when she was telling the other teachers who i was. it basically went like this, "eh, eh...you know who this is? he's in N-U-S, studying CHEMISTRY!" i could practically hear the capital letters! i remembered a few of the teachers whom i met, and some of them remembered me. for some odd reason, my year has the habit of giving schools the best results ever. it was like that in secondary school and JC. apparently, we did it in primary school as well, as i'd found out today. we spent about half an hour catching up, before she had to go do some HOD-ish stuff (she's now the HOD of maths. funny how i've had numerous good maths teachers, and i still suck at the subject).

on the way out of the staff room, i met my primary 5 and 6 english teacher. she remembers me as "the boy who writes excellent stories", as well as "the boy who doesn't hand in work". she was surprised that i was studying chemistry in university, instead of english. personally, i enjoyed writing, and i still do. but that will remain as a hobby for me. sometimes, you can't delve too deep into what you like, otherwise you grow to hate it.

going back to the primary school today was a pretty good decision. if nothing else, it gave me a tremendous morale boost to hear the pride in my various teachers' voices. i guess we'll always remain kids to them...even though most of us have already turned 21. heh. well, one of my ex-classmates says he'll organize a primary school gathering in december. it would be nice to see everyone again...though i think we might have trouble recognizing each other.

aside from that, i took a short trip to CJC as well. managed to get 3 things done, too! (1) kaypoh around training, (2) collect my NYAA gold certificate, and (3) have a brief chat with Brother Paul, since he'll be leaving for australia and all. i find it kind of scary that he knows who i am. i was under the impression that i remained fairly under the radar during my time in CJC (well, maybe except for my chem results). but fact is, he knows me. i didn't really talk that much...it seemed like he was the one carrying the conversation. yes, i know i suck at socializing. but still, i managed to wish him all the best for the future, which was my main objective of talking to him.

so, yes. today has been quite good for my soul. it was good to hear all the positive reinforcement/affirmation. i'm actually amazed that someone i haven't seen for so long still cares that much about me and how i'm doing. really really does my heart good. once again, i salute all primary school teachers out there. seeing primary school kids once a week for 10 weeks was traumatizing enough. i can't imagine how teachers can do it for half a day (sometimes more), 5 days a week, 40+ weeks per year for 10+ years.

you know, in chinese serials, when the hero(ine) avoids a potential disaster, one of his/her possessions (eg. bangle, ring, bracelet, pendant, lucky charm, photo frame) will either crack or break. well, both my glasses and lab safety goggles have broken, and in both cases, it's the right arm that was detached from the main body. perhaps that means i've managed to avoid 2 catastrophes? i don't know. whatever the case, i think it's high time i replaced my glasses anyway. the ones i'm wearing now are already 2 years old, and the left arm has broken off before. guess i'd better get a new pair made. wonder if my eyesight has gotten worse since 2007? what frames should i get? what colour should it be? metal or plastic? guess i'll worry about that when i next go to the optician.

during yesterday's physical chem lecture, my german lecturer was talking about the applied chem option (or maybe it's a totally different degree together). long story short, training to be an applied chemist is like becoming a chemist-chemical engineer hybrid. right now, i'm not too sure about opting into it, but it never hurt to leave that door open, right? that means i'll have to take a engineering-type module next semester. ugh. i don't know - i think i'll let it stew for a while. i don't have to decide until end-december anyway.

tomorrow looks interesting! i'm getting back my maths mid-term. one of my more kaypoh friends went to see the professor for his results ahead of time. he also mentioned my name to the professor, and he got to see my results before i did. according to him, i got 80+/100 for the test. i find that unbelievable for a number of reasons. firstly, my maths is, as you know, sucky. normally, the only way i could get 80+ is if the test was upon 200. secondly, this friend of mine isn't the most observant person you'll meet. he could have looked one row up or down on the list, or even spelled my name wrongly (and it wouldn't be the first time he did that, either). whatever the case, i'm taking that news with a big pinch of salt until i see it for myself tomorrow morning. and, as i've previously warned him, he can expect a world of hurt if he made me happy for nothing.

i'm also sitting for my NCAP theory exam tomorrow. even though one of the course trainers has said that the paper is practically impossible to fail and even more so since it's open-book. BUT, people have failed it before. so...yes. that's not saying much, is it? whatever the case, i'll just go in and write whatever i think is logical. hopefully the positive energy from my maths result (if it's true) will see me through. right now, i have to go and wash/clean my sandals. walking in the rain with sandals is not good for foot hygiene.

-random thought of the day: Should I subscribe to Champions Online?-