I HAVE A JOB!!!!

well, i tentatively do. as you know, i had the psychometric (IQ) tests last week, and i honestly don't think i did very well. still, they scheduled me for a second interview, which was earlier today. for all my previous job applications, the companies have said that they'd get back to me within a week or two. sometimes a rejection email will come towards the end of that period, other times the company will flat-out ghost me and not respond even when i follow up. today's company got back to me within 3 hours from the end of my interview to tell me that they were keen on having me on board. it's amazing how fast things can be pushed through when the motivation is there! according to the HR staff, my second interview "went well" (verbatim quote). i had a sense that it was good, as i managed to engage both the 3 panelists and the HR person sitting in. was still quite nerve-wracking, though. i was telling L just after it ended and before i knew the outcome that i would rate my performance as an 8.5 or 9/10. looks like i was on the money!

BUT...i'm still trepidatious. a lot of things can happen between a tentative offer and the job's official start date. i've heard stories of offers being retracted days before the reporting date, or even more egregiously, after the candidate showed up for work. while i don't think such horrible things will happen to me, i also don't want to rest upon my laurels especially since i haven't signed anything. there are still salary/benefits negotiations to go, so a potential trip-up might be that they lowball me. their given salary range is quite wide, and if they offer me within $500 of the upper limit (monthly salary, hence the smaller tolerance), i'll be happy to accept. still, i'm not going to count chickens. rather, i'll deal with issues if and when they crop up.

apart from (tentatively) landing that job, the other big piece of news is that i've been playing nurse to L recently. no, it's not sexy roleplay...he just had all 4 of his wisdom teeth extracted this past monday. 2 were impacted and had to be surgically removed, while the other 2 were more straightforward pull-them-out type things. he's healing well, which is a relief. so far, my duties have included being a medicine timing planner, personal chef, and just general all-around butler-y services. thankfully, he's been a pretty good patient - never kicking up a fuss and being diligent in his wound care and hygiene. i also got to flex my creative culinary muscles a bit due to the constraint of cooking only soft food for him. i think the dish i'm proudest of so far is a sort of bread pudding analogue with tiny pieces of bread in (home-made) custard. i'll probably adjust the recipe for chewing-capable people in the future.

taking care of L has also meant that i've spent the past 2 nights at his place, and am slated to be here until at least friday. i'm thinking of it as "married life simulator", and while i feel that we'll be ok on most fronts, i'm noticing that he tends to have conversations with me while he's on his phone. he says he can multitask and get the gist of what i'm saying, and he usually does a good enough job. but there have also been times where he's gotten 90% of the info but missed out of the most crucial 10%. perhaps it's a me thing, but i also don't really feel heard when he does this. yes, i've communicated this to him already. i'm sure that he'll make more of an effort, but i also think that i should do what i can to capture his undivided attention for important conversations, plus have them at more appropriate times (eg. when people from work aren't messaging him and also not when we're about to sleep because he drifts off quite quickly). not only that, i want to learn to let the unimportant stuff go. worst case, i can repeat it in the future. look at me, dealing with a potential conflict point like a mature adult!

with the job issue taken care of, that's one load off my mind. i'm still going to explore the tuition centre thing as a backup plan and/or in case i don't like the job. better to have a door waiting, even if i may not end up using it.

-random thought of the day: Excited!-

Although i'm still jobless, my days have been filled with activity. life with L is still good. we've had a few disagreements, but nothing i would call a rough spot or something to worry about. perhaps it's because we started this interaction/relationship at an older age, but i find it to be more stable. i'm honestly awed at how much he trusts me and is willing to do for me. evidence: i'm writing this post alone in his place while he's gone to work, and i'll only be meeting him later for dinner. it just makes me wonder, if a couple experiences/has experienced this kind of love, how can either party bring themself to cheat? in the hypothetical case that we end our relationship, i want to remember this initial period and remember that he's a wonderful person who should be treated well. but let's not jinx it. we've just passed a month of dating (yesterday by calendar date, this past sunday by number of weeks), and i hope that we'll have many more months and years ahead of us.

related thought: i think i can better understand why people change so much after losing their partner. real life example: my paternal grandparents; fictional example: john wick or any of the countless love shows. it's my overactive imagination at work, but i do imagine that many of the little things/routines we've established will continue into our old age. to name a few SFW ones: helping him get ready for work, holding on to his phone when we're on a date, cooking together. the thought of one of us not being around for those things is kind of horrible, and while i know that we're still a few decades away from that if everything goes well, i'm dreading the day it happens. i suppose we should do what we can and just enjoy each moment that we have together.

because i'm still unemployed, i do feel a little bit like a house husband now. i'm strangely ok with that, though? there haven't been any thoughts or feelings of resentment/inadequacy in this area. but i do know that i need to start working soon. good news is, my interview last friday went well! so far they've made me do a timed written assignment, take a personality test, attend an interview, and take 2 timed psychometric tests. i think the first 3 things went well, but i'm not too confident about the last thing. it's one of those tests where you're supposed to identify the secret rule used to transform pictures. the hard thing was that they did it in 2 dimensions, so you had to superimpose 2 sets of rules. the reading test was weird too. it was one of those where you had to choose true, false, or unsure about statements after reading a passage. i ended up with a lot of "unsure"s, which felt odd. hopefully the tests scores dont' form too big a part of my overall application. there's still one more interview with the higher management next week, and hopefully that will lead to a job offer. kind of wondering how the second interview will go. just have to go in and do my best. L said that if it's meant to be, it'll happen. if this doesn't go through, it might just be the final push to go down the self-employed route.

couple of L-adjacent things that happened in the past week, i brought him to meet N and E. they were cool with it, although E was his usual talkative, no-filter self. still, it was good! L has introduced me to most (basically all) of his friends by now, and i feel like i should step up in that area. problem is, the chemistry guys are busy with life in general. maybe i should push for it a little more strongly? at the same time, i don't want to come across as demanding. at least L is understanding about it, and leaves the planning to me. also, i met up with jedi master, who's back in singapore for a workshop of some kind. after catching up, he told me that he was worried about getting older, and not being able to keep up. it's the first time he's shared that with me, and i think it helped me see that he's also not always the invincible fighter that he appears to be. it's also quite a long time away, but he kind of advised me to entertain the idea of expanding my family unit with L, ie. think of kids. not in the traditional sense, but whatever works for us. that's a thought for sometime in the future, so i'll tuck that away for now and focus on enjoying time alone with L. which reminds me, i have to leave the house for our dinner date!

-random thought of the day: Would be nice if the job went through...-

Things have been good for most things in life. L and i are still getting along fine, discovering more about each other as the days pass. i've been staying over at his place for the past 3 weekends in a row. according to him, his dad is also warming up to me somewhat. i mean, we're still not the best of friends and i don't know if we'll ever be, but we're at least on good terms now, which i feel is a positive sign. so far, L and i have met up with each other every day we've known each other, and i hope we somehow manage to keep that up unless we're physically prevented from doing so, say if one of us has to go overseas without the other or something. even then, i'm sure we can video call or whatnot.

some positive news on the work front as well, i've been invited to an interview! it's online and scheduled for friday. before that though, i've got to take an online test tomorrow. wonder if it'll be in the same style as the consultancy firm? i'm just going to go in and do my best for both the test and the interview. i also understand that if i make it through this round, i'll have 2 more tests and another round of interviews before i can even smell an offer. sounds like a lot of hoops to jump through! well, if it's meant to be, it'll happen. still going to give myself the best chance of landing it though.

one more thought before i go shower and get ready to meet L for dinner. i've seen a lot of my nieces and nephew recently...certainly more than i have for the past 3 years! that's a given, considering i was in japan. but yes, it's been nice i guess. i still don't want to spend more than 3 hours at a go with them...my temper would probably get the better of me. L has said that he wants kids, and i've communicated to him that i'm dead set against the idea. i wonder how strongly he feels about it though. i don't think this is something we'll break up over. maybe we can revisit it a few years into the future, when we're more financially secure/stable. for now, i guess interacting with kids at his job is a close second to having kids of his own.

-random thought of the day: Nervous about the application process.-

So much stuff to update on! time's just flown by; i suspect that a lot of it has to do with enjoying L's company. i think i'll update by day, that would make the most sense.

thursday

the biggest event was meeting L's dad for the first time. it was also his birthday, so the meal served an additional purpose as a celebration. the dad is nice, quite soft-spoken. he seemed ok with me and i think we got along pretty well. L told me that the dad still refers to me as L's "good friend" despite knowing that we're in a relationship. yes, L told him in no uncertain terms. i think it's just the older generation being unused to anything outside heterosexual relationships. but based on how he's been talking to me so far, i think i'm in the clear!

friday

in the morning, L got a bit upset when he broke the shaker bottle i got him (i bring him protein powder after his gym sessions). it was a small thing to me, but he took it really hard. i think it was due to some childhood experiences? anyway, i found that i was able to comfort him when he was highly emotional, which gives me reassurance that i'm doing something right. later in the day, i went to marine parade to pick L up after work for dinner at PLQ. he wanted me to stay over, but i thought that it would be better if i went home due to logistics. that resulted in...not an argument, exactly? but i think it was the first time we disagreed on something substantial. still, i don't think it hurt the relationship. if anything, it helped us see each other more realistically.

saturday

mahjong with L's friends was brought forward from sunday, and we had sushiro for dinner before that. the menu here is smaller than the one in japan, but quality-wise i'd say they're about on par. mahjong was fun, i did a couple of nice hands and didn't let others game off me too much. not for big hands, at least. the guy friends are pretty cool, L told me that each of them has their own trauma/problems, and he wants to help all of them. yes, he's aware that he has a saviour complex. at this time i don't think it's too bad? but i'll be sure to let him know if he's overstepping boundaries or stretching himself too thin. side note: one of the friends was cute, but suffers from low confidence. i wonder why?

sunday

stayed over the previous night, and we had a nice relaxing day. went to seletar mall for a late lunch and to do some work (him, making teaching resources; me, prettying up my resume). then met his dad for a light dinner and groceries at anchorvale before spending a quiet night together. after that outing, i'm pretty sure his dad is ok with me. but i still don't want to become a permanent fixture yet this early into the relationship. not because i don't have faith that we're going to last, but because i don't want to become overly familiar at this point.

monday

despite saying that, i stayed over another night, making it the first time i've stayed over for 2 nights in a row. oops! L went for his morning gym session while i slept in and met him for more grocery shopping later. we cooked lunch before going to orchard because L was meeting his colleagues for tea (literal and figurative). after that, we had dinner at the muji cafe at plaza singapura. the food was a little expensive, but pretty good! still have to satisfy my nandos craving.

tuesday (today)

met L's last significant group of friends (ex-colleagues from his previous workplace). they're interesting and fun! i could see myself hanging out with them more. also, i finally gave L the sodastream machine that i got for him. guy loves carbonated water, while i don't really see the appeal of it. well, as long as it makes him happy. you know, i was thinking of waiting for a significant milestone - like our one-month anniversary, or christmas, or his birthday next year. but then, it occurred to me that a gift is supposed to make the receiving party happy. why wait until a significant occasion to give a gift? maybe i'm turning into a "just because" gift giver. the caveat might be that birthday or anniversary gifts may happen to be lower in price than "just because" ones, but i believe that L won't be that calculative.

relationship stuff aside, there hasn't been much progress in the work department. the career coach i got gave extremely generic advice, like "tailor your resume to each job application". KNN you think i don't know meh!? also, she advised me to send out applications only to jobs that i'm interested in. that just makes me think she's out of touch with the job-hunting process. the way i see it, it's a numbers game. if i have a 1% chance of getting an interview, i'm more likely to get an interview if i send out 500 applications vs. 100. and even if i get interviews for jobs outside my area of interest, attending them is still good practice.

moreover, i think she isn't very invested in me? i have a feeling that she didn't read my resume to identify my strengths or potential jobs that my fit my profile. granted i'm probably not her only client and i don't expect her to spoonfeed me. still, i feel that if i were a career coach, that's something i'd try to do for candidates assigned to me. that feeling of non-investment plus i think she's not familiar with the scientific industry made me ask for a change in career coach, hopefully to someone with relevant experience. i'm due for a call with a higher-level career coach tomorrow (maybe this current one's boss?), and i hope things will improve from here on.

last thing on my mind for now. one of the UK IP firms i applied to got back to me, saying that they were impressed by my profile and wanted me to send in an application using their new candidate portal. i'm smelling a huge rat here. first of all, they didn't get back to me when i emailed my application in in june, or asked for a follow-up in july/august (all standard procedures at the relevant times). now they tell me that they want me to apply again? call me cynical or suspicious, but i'm guessing that they want to get info and statistics about their shiny new portal or maybe even test it by asking candidates to apply. and the more candidates apply, the bigger their data pool. in a worst-case scenario, it might even be someone trying to prove that the portal wasn't a huge waste of money. although if i were still in the UK now, i would apply out of desperation. since i'm not, though...nah! depending on my batman work later, i may or may not drop the person an email to politely thank them for the opportunity, but no thanks because i got tired of waiting and went back to singapore.

in the upcoming days, there are more dates with L planned (we're keeping up the streak of seeing each other every day since we first met/started dating), plus i have a birthday lunch with my aunt, uncle, and cousins on saturday. will probably send out a new wave of applications using the updated resume that L vetted. hopefully that will bring more luck.

-random thought of the day: Life is good!-

Making it short because i've got to leave the house in like...half an hour, and i'm not even showered yet! i did rinse off a little earlier in the day, so i may be able to get away with it. but considering i'm meeting L's dad later tonight for dinner, i probably should shower for a good impression.

i think that L and i have seen each other literally every day since we started dating. perhaps that's a contributor to how quickly we've progressed in the relationship. i went to meet him on tuesday during his morning run (he ran, i cycled). felt pretty good to be out and about so early in the morning. temperature was nice, traffic was light, all in all conducive for exercise. spent the day at his place with plans to go to jewel changi airport, but ended up spending an hour walking back to my place to stow my bicycle and eating at rivervale mall's soup spoon. not a single complaint from him throughout the long walk. solid guy!

met him at his gym on wednesday morning where i passed him a protein shake. we spent the morning and cooked lunch together again, before he went off to work. met up later in the evening to make up for the missed jewel date the day before. we had korean-inspired pizza at pizza maru, followed by botanical gelato at birds of paradise. the pizza was advertised as "chicago-style" and came with a dusting of powdered sugar on the crust. first time i've had it like that. it was interesting. not bad, but not something that i would think of doing on my own. the gelato was awesome! i really want to try a few more of their flavours...maybe another time.

ended up following him home and staying over last night. he went for his usual morning run earlier, and i slept in before we got ready to leave the house - him for work, me to go home and prepare for today's meetings. before meeting his dad for dinner, i'm meeting a friend who used to be a teacher at CJC when i went back to help out with judo. kind of want to pick his brain about teaching in singapore without a PGDE, and more importantly to ask about an open chemistry teacher position in his school. i'm increasingly thinking that opening a tuition centre would be the way to go, though. need to schedule a meeting with my friend to discuss what exactly is needed, and how i can get things moving on my end.

staying over at L's place makes me imagine what us actually living together would be like. it's still sunshine and butterflies now, because i stay one night at most and that isn't really long enough for us to get on each other's nerves. i think we'd get a better perspective when we travel overseas - my japan trip next march is a likely candidate, and we're thinking of doing a staycation-type thing at the end of the year. but that's still some time away. the more immediate concern is meeting L's dad tonight. while i'm more than 90% sure that it will go well, there's still this bit of fear that he will object to something about me - my age, present financial instability, intentions towards his son. my thought is that this is hardly an obstacle, considering L has told me before that his dad just wants him to be happy...so we're at least aligned in that regard. besides, i plan to fight for our relationship, and this is a good chance to show that i mean it. fingers crossed for later!

-random thought of the day: Hoping everything goes well today.-