Keeping up with tradition, i'll get started on my year-end post. this year, i'm in lab! had to work on my presentation and take care of a couple of reactions. one failed, while i'm hopeful for the other. for now, back to the task at hand. a lot of people are saying that 2016 was a bad year, and one of the reasons they give is that many famous people died (and some which should be dead are still alive). i don't think that's a good reason at all. i think that the number of people that die per year doesn't really change that dramatically from year to year, unless there was some natural disaster or outbreak of war. it just so happens that this year, the proportion of famous people out of that total is higher.

personally for me, it was a good year overall. there's progress where it counts, and in general, the good bits made up for the bad bits. that's the reason for the first of my 2 candidates for theme of the year - ups and downs. it's competitor is "discovering myself". you'd think that at the ripe old age of 28, i'd know all i needed to know about me, right? apparently not. experiences with the date have revealed that under some circumstances, i behave differently that how i'd imagine myself to behave...sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. i guess it's because you don't really care as much about what your normal friends say as compared to a potential partner. i'll sit on the theme question until the end of the post. hopefully i'll decide one way or another.

numerous memorable things happened over the course of this year. good things include passing my QE, maintaining my relationship with the date, and moving house. that last one's debatable, actually. of course, i'm not really mentioning the usual take-for-granted things like being in overall good health, being accident-free while driving, maintaining my savings target. not-so-good things include various arguments with the date (thankfully they were all resolved), basically leaving the local judo scene (this one's both good and bad), and losing some friends (in my view, anyway). i think that there were no monumental screw-ups, which is probably a sign that i'm doing things somewhat right...or at least not too terribly wrong.

if i had to choose one day out of the past 366 to repeat, it would be 15 february. that was when both the date and i took a day off and went out. so far, that has been the most perfect date in the 13 months that we've been seeing each other, for various reasons already mentioned in the post written on that day itself. and if i had to choose to erase one day, it'd probably be one of the several days in which we argued about magic. funny how the brain remembers negatives more strongly than positives. perhaps it's also a sign to me, that i should be able to remember the lessons learnt from negative experiences, but let go of the associated feelings and negative emotions.

i guess that brings me to the end of this post. to sum things up, there were many memorable moments in 2016. bad or good, they all have helped me to develop and grow as a person. and although some things were horrible at the points in time while they were happening, those times will pass in the end. all that remains now is to look forward to next year, which will bring me a step closer to graduation.

-random thought of the day: Should go off soon.-

On to part 2! like i mentioned previously, this post will be more for thoughts and feelings regarding some (relatively) recent experiences. keywords are friends, car, judo, and not necessarily in that order.

starting with friends, there's this thing that says if you're friends with someone for 7 years or more, you'll be friends for life. i would like to strongly contest that. i have 2 examples...one of which is directly related to me. if you remember, i had 2 close friends from my class in JC. we went went to japan together for our grad trip 3 years ago. in the past few months, i'm starting to think that our friendship is all but gone. for one guy, it's because we had a disagreement, which was kind of indirectly caused by his ex. issues with her, to be precise. it was never really resolved, and the first time we met after that (which was about 9 months later, in late november or so), it was awkward. there's this distance now, and we're not as close as before. as for the other guy, he's good at heart, but sometimes the things he does and certain aspects of his character have me shaking my head in disbelief. he's almost every stereotype of the loud ugly cheapskate ignorant singaporean. i can handle him in small doses, but even that is proving a bit too much now. at present, i'm a bit ambivalent about these friendships. we definitely had good times...but that was in the past. as the years go by, i think that we're gradually having less and less in common. i guess i'll give it one last try. the previous try (aka. the last time we met) didn't go very well. i suppose i should try to catch them individually.

but even if i can't salvage it, i shouldn't feel too bad. after all, even friendships of up to 30 years can be destroyed if the conflict is serious enough. such was the case in the judo world. i'm not part of this, seeing as i've only been practising for 11 years. but yes, some of the elders who were friends are no longer on talking terms, because someone was power-hungry and stupid. that's a bad combination if there ever was one. while on the topic of judo, i firmly believe that there is no future for singapore judo. not with this administration (or any possible permutation of the people) in charge. compared to 3 years ago, the state of the sport is dismal. back then, we still had somewhat of an asian presence. these days...it's barely south-east asian. i'm no longer affiliated to the federation, so as long as i don't participate in any JUA-sanctioned events, they can't touch me. besides, what's the worst they can do to me? suspend me? ban me? NOT AFFILIATED, so i don't care. they can strip me of my qualifications, which is no big deal either. i resigned my referee license, am no longer actively coaching, so it's of no consequence. at worst, they can take my black belt away...my SJF black belt, that is. fortunately, i still have IJF and kodokan certification, which has not been awarded in singapore for a long time.

the other thing that makes me think that judo it's on its way to worldwide decline is the recent updating of the rules. the rules are now much more simple...perhaps too simple. i guess the IJF is trying to make it easier for casual spectators to watch and follow, but i think there's a point where simple becomes dumb. without going into the technical details, i'll just say that perhaps not refereeing any more is a good thing. so...what's left in judo for me? not much, frankly. it's literally the next thing on my priority list to go if need to drop anything. i think i have to make peace with the thought that i won't be getting high dan grades in this lifetime. if i can go to 5th by the time i'm 50, i'll be more than happy. for now, i guess it's dropping by the judo clubs whenever i'm free, or if/when they need me for something.

previously, i thought i'd already worked out the car issue. use the money to renew the COE, then drive this current car for another few years until it dies and has to be scrapped. my cousin told me it may not be that simple. quick background: when deciding on which car to buy, we generally go for lowest depreciation, which is calculated by (amount paid - amount returned to you at end of car lifespan)/number of years you drive the car. for this current car, that works out to about $8500/year, which is ridiculously good by singapore standards. if i were to renew it for the next 10 years, it would be about $6000/year over that time period. but my uncle said that cars will typically break down very seriously around year 12 or so. it may then not be feasible to send it for repairs, as buying a new car may be cheaper. a similar honda civic is depreciating at more than $10000/year these days. it doesn't seem economical. as such, i've expanded my scope a little. but before that, let me just quickly outline my 2 approaches. the first approach is to look for a car with 3-4 years to go, and drive it to the end of its life, similar to what i did with this one. the second approach is to look for an almost-new car, and drive that to the end. first instinct would probably be to ask, why choose an almost-new car over an older one? well, it depreciates less due to the longer time. for a car that's about 8 or 9 years old, the benefit is that it costs cheaper upfront. but the downside is that it can only be used for so long. if i could, i'd go with the almost-new route. problem there is that the upfront cost is staggering. if at all possible, i'd rather not take another loan.

putting the money issue aside first, i have to admit that i'm quite taken by the honda vezel (no it's not a typo of vessel). it's a hatchback/SUV type of car. quite newly introduced too, i think. earliest registration date i can find for a second-hand model is late 2014. though it looks tall, rugged and sporty, its engine capacity is surprisingly lower than that of my civic. i am quite intrigued by it, because most models feature keyless entry, push-button start, and bluetooth connectivity to the stereo and possibly car phone. not to mention it looks pretty good, too. however, if i change to something that's not a civic, i'll definitely miss the digital speedometer. and as a minor aesthetic thing, i like my single-row license plates. the other models all necessitate double rows. well, my current thought is this: try for civic first, then jazz, then vezel or other japanese cars, and finally continental cars. the vezel is actually plausible, depending on whether i can source for the required funding. but then, i should remind myself not to get in over my head. i'm paying several bills now, and if i want to include a loan for the car, i'll have to rework my budget. guess what i can do now is to do my homework and see if any good deals come up.

-random thought of the day: Going back to lab tomorrow.-

Really cutting it close with this post. i'm just about to miss my once-a-calendar-month minimum updating frequency. it's actually been more than 30 days, if you're counting, but well, at least i have posts in both november and december. i can't really explain the lack of posts in these past 5 weeks. i guess that everything's been rather routine, with only a few exceptions. hence, i didn't really have enough substance built up to warrant a post. and i guess i do now.

following our one-year dating anniversary, the date and i have still been going out regularly. a few of the more notable dates include going to sentosa (because i couldn't filter in time to get to vivocity, and we missed the subsequent u-turn back to the mainland), going for a concert, meeting the chemistry guys for christmas celebrations, and spending christmas itself together. i think we'll talk about each of them in sequence.

as mentioned earlier, we ended up in sentosa by accident. i was a bit apprehensive, mainly because i didn't know what the parking rates were. turns out that they were surprisingly cheap! $3 entrance fee, and a further $2.20 per entry at the carpark. spending $5.50 total for about 5 hours is actually pretty reasonable. we took a walk along the beach, caught pokemon, and explored some of the attractions. prior to this, the last time i'd been to sentosa proper was in sec 3, for a CCA camp (USS doesn't count). a lot changed in the 13-year gap. it looks more modern and more touristy, for sure. and it also caters to a more affluent crowd, as the increase in beach bars and restaurants showed. it was one of the more memorable dates, i think.

the concert which we went for was the distant worlds: final fantasy one. it featured final fantasy music, but distant worlds isn't affiliated to square enix. quite messy, but at the end of the day, what mattered was that we were treated to about 2 to 3 hours of good music. this is literally like the second-ever concert i've attended in my life. the first one was back in secondary school, and was actually the school band's annual performance. i think that most concerts aren't really worth the money in general, since i can stream stuff off youtube or other sources. but the date already got the tickets for this one. and i'm happy that they did. although i'm not all that familiar with most of the titles (everything other than 7, 8, 10, and 14), i enjoyed the music. there was a good mix of slow, classical-sounding pieces, and more up-tempo ones as well. we also met one of my JC friends there...more on him later. despite saying that i'm typically not one for concerts, i'm scheduled for another one with the date. this one features this korean pianist/singer called yiruma. same venue - star vista, in february next year or so; i forget the exact date. the one thing that quite impressed me about the organization of the concert was that they had a super-strict "no photography" rule, and they really enforced it. like, there were ushers and other personnel keeping sharp eyes out for anyone taking photos. and when one of them spotted a rulebreaker, they'd swoop down and politely insist that the photo(s) be deleted, even going as far as to check the camera roll. while some may say that it's an invasion of privacy, i think that it's good enforcement.

christmas celebrations with the chemistry guys was done a week in advance. we went to one of their houses, as we did last year. the date said that they had came along with me last year too. funny thing was that i didn't remember it. looking back at the archives shows that it did happen, and that my memory sucks. the gathering was nice...i got to see some people whom i haven't seen in longer than i care to remember. in addition, my friend's kids are growing up! yes, captain obvious here. but what i mean is that there's noticeable progress in their development! like his elder daughter can now walk and (somewhat) talk, while at this time last year, his younger son didn't even exist! i noticed something quite funny, too. normally, i have very low tolerance/liking for kids. but i found myself being quite ok with my friend's daughter. i guess it's because she's, well, my friend's daughter, so i feel closer to her. and objectively speaking, she's also rather well-behaved. mostly quiet, and not at all annoying. hopefully that doesn't change as she grows up. while interacting with her, i had this awful flashback to/of myself, aged between 6 to 9. i seem to remember really wanting the attention of the older relatives when they came over for CNY. goodness. how lucky i outgrew that nonsense by about primary 5. reminder to self: be a little kinder to kids. most of them will go through the attention-seeking phase. i suppose it's part of their brains maturing.

by this time, i think christmas should be over, no matter what time zone you're in. so, i hope you enjoyed your christmas. i know i did. had more celebrations than usual this year. the aforementioned one with the chemistry guys, one with the lab, one with the extended family, and one with the date and mother. that's like 3 more than a typical year for me. the lab one was nice. plenty of food, nice atmosphere, and we even played secret santa! i got my giftee/recipient a grapefruit-scented candle for his house. not because i think he smells bad or anything, but if i'm not wrong, he just moved into his own place with his wife. so (the date and) i thought that it would add to the homely atmosphere. my secret santa was my professor(!), who got me a notebook, a pen, and some type of chocolate biscuit. practical, as expected. unfortunately, i'd already got myself a planner, so i don't foresee myself using his notebook all that much. well...maybe it'll just be another one for the collection.

for the extended family, we had lunch at long beach east coast. turns out my aunt (that's chemical engineer cousin's mother) was visiting. the last time i saw her was probably when i went to her place in new zealand as part of my grad trip. gosh, it's been 3 years and 6 months. anyway, it was pleasant enough, though i did recall a quote from a TV show, which goes something like, "christmas is when we all meet up, to remind ourselves why we don't do it for the rest of the year". in the asian context, christmas could probably be replaced by CNY, but you know what i mean. anyway, the reason i say that is because gatherings like this remind me that the maternal aunts can be a bit...overbearing. don't get me wrong, i know they mean well, and that that's their way of showing their concern. but sometimes, "no thanks" really means just that. i'm not refusing food because i'm shy or afraid to look greedy. i just don't want any more. reminder to self again: they mean well, although it can get repetitive and thus, annoying. we also went back to my other aunt's place, where i played with the dog for a bit, and discussed car matters with my cousin and uncle. more on that later, too.

lastly, with the date. we did our christmas present exchange earlier in the month. they got me 5 mini stuffed toys from our favourite series. at the time when they gave me the gift, that series of toys hadn't even been released in singapore yet. so that was rather special. i got them gloves, because i noticed that their hands were really cold after a day's work. the interesting thing is that these gloves can be used with touchscreen devices. i have no idea how they accomplished that. i get how it's possible with regular nitrile gloves, because the material's thin enough to not affect the capacitance that much. but those gloves are decently thick. it's probably the material. maybe metallic nanoparticles or fibres? we also both got together and gave the mother a phone. she likes it, which shows that the date is in tune with her tastes. since we had done the gift exchange earlier, christmas eve and christmas day itself were relatively quiet. we went to bugis on the eve, and the date picked up a PS4. no, not for me. i specifically told them that i had no space or time for one. the date seems to enjoy it, which is nice. on christmas day, we went out for dinner with the mother, followed by an evening at their place where we played some games, like guilty gear and divinity: original sin. guilty gear was a bit of a different experience. i'm a bit more used to street fighter style controls. we both went through the tutorial, but somehow it didn't help that much. thankfully, the game offered a "newbie mode", which allowed us to pull of amazing combos by button-mashing. we played a few bouts with different characters, and i wasn't really keeping track of win/loss. what i did notice was that the date accused me of bullying them again. in this case, i didn't mind that much, because we were at similar skill levels and had similar exposure to the game. if i wanted to be egotistic, i could probably say that i had a slight advantage. but well...i'm not sure if the date wanted me to give way or not. in the end, it didn't really matter, as they started a winning streak. funny how i didn't mind losing here at all. wonder why. divinity was interesting, but a little bit slow for my taste. the date enjoyed it though, said it was those kind of dungeons and dragons style RPG that they liked. i think i need some more exposure about it before i form my final verdict.

part 1 of this post will end here for now. part 2 will be where i talk about more feelings-related stuff, like about my JC friends, and analyze the car issue again.

-random thought of the day: Holiday inertia.-