Received a mix of good and less-good news this week...and it's only tuesday! good news is in the work KPI realm - i actually have like 21 points as of last week! and since i just submitted another case yesterday, i'm probably slightly over 22 now. if i submit all cases i have right now, that'll take me to 27-ish, which is way over what i need by april. realistically, i think i'll be able to submit maybe 2-3 more by the end of this week (which is also the end of the month), taking me to about 24-25. still ahead, but with a less comfortable lead. well...not going to worry too much. i figure that if this is me doing the best i can, i'm in pretty good stead to meet the target.

secondly, i got my health checkup results back. the email came in at 7pm last night, meaning that it took less than 8 hours. to think they needed 1-2 weeks in japan! the results themselves were a mixed bag...improved waist to hip ratio (which means less visceral fat, though i question the accuracy since they measured over clothes), most other parameters within normal ranges - including testosterone and thyroid function (which were what i wanted to find out the most), but slightly high diastolic blood pressure and high LDL levels. i'd known about the LDL from the health screening in japan, but i think i should compare to see how it's changed over 2 years...once i dig the previous report out.

diastolic blood pressure is a new thing for me. google says it's the resting blood pressure in the arteries between heartbeats, and that a high number could mean stiffening arteries. by the way, the number i got was 85mmHg, while the healthy number is 80. i'm inclined to think that it could be attributable to other factors like (subconscious) nervousness/stress, fatigue from not sleeping well, or whatever other thing it could have been. i'm not going to stress too much over it since the japan check mentioned my blood vessels were in better shape than a typical person of my age then, and i haven't really changed too much in terms of lifestyle. interestingly, the report also mentioned that i'm not immune to hepatitis A, and my non-specific inflammation marker count was high. i wonder if that's from general stress or working out? the report suggested that it could be an autoimmune disease or anaemia. might just be my dust allergy, now that i think about it.

what are my next steps? working on lowering LDL should be a priority, as should getting vaccinated for hepatitis A. i can settle the latter with a visit to the clinic, but LDL will require more work. googling what i can do led me to discover this thing called DASH - diet against stroke and hypertension. thinking of incorporating some elements of that into my meals, along with being more regular at the gym. i hope i don't have to go on medication, because that seems to be the beginning of the end. i remember reading reports that taking one particular drug made the body less able or unable to produce a certain hormone or signalling molecule. i know narcotics and dopamine is the classic example, but it wasn't that. can't remember what specific disease these reports were for, but i guess the idea is there. long story short, i don't want to become reliant on medicine. as a kind of side quest, i kind of want to get a massage or a chiropractic adjustment. i feel like my body's a bit out of whack due to past injuries, which manifests as weakness/inefficiency while gymming. ideally whatever i go for will reset it, but i'm managing my expectations here as well.

more semi(?)-good news, crochet guy came over this morning after a week or two since he was busy. i thought he was going to stay until i had to leave for tuition, but he ended up going off shortly after lunch to meet another friend. i'm not upset, exactly...i just find his style of communication to be not-ideal for me. he assumes here and there, changes plans at the drop of a hat, and kind of forgets important things sometimes, like whether i'm working form home of the office. at the same time, i'm pretty sure he's not trying to lead me on or being maliciously forgetful/vague/fickle. well...he's still young. plus, he seems open to constructive advice, so i'm willing to at least try bringing the topic up with him. to balance it out, we're nothing more than friends, so it's not like he owes me anything more than friendship. guess i should be happy/grateful that he made time for me too.

one more work from home day tomorrow, where i need to visit the gym. can't put it off to thursday, since i have a dinner appointment with the cute guy from last wednesday. i don't expect anything to happen, and am viewing it as just getting to know him better. looking forward to completing the training on thursday as mentioned previously, and friday's a public holiday. haven't decided what i want to do yet...perhaps grocery shopping? and cutting the door mat (which i just collected earlier tonight) to fit the contours of the entryway...makes me think i should have bought a spare! at least an imperfect job will still be acceptable in this case. don't think i'm going to the gay bar this week, but we'll see if my mood/feeling changes. should change my bedsheets too; the ones i got from lazada are here!

-random thought of the day: Weird dreams over the past few days.-

Pretty neutral week so far on the work front, submitted a case to my mentor and had one more round of back-and-forth than strictly necessary. but i figure that's not too big a deal as long as it doesn't happen too regularly. my lead gave me 6 cases last friday, and i'm done with 1.5 of them now. quite on pace, i'd say! of course, the more important thing is that they go through my mentor with as few rounds of revision as possible - ideally zero. but i'm not going to expect that of myself just yet...that can be a goal to work towards in the second half of this year, or even next year. one of our trainers said that the uncertainty would last for at least the first 3 years, and i'm still well within that region.

tuition with ACS boy went well too! he was quite on form, answering most questions correctly. only thing is he has to be careful about remembering certain concepts like energy profile diagrams and where to add electrons in half equations - the latter is a common problem. he told me that he went to the gym before our tuition session, and i think that that might have drained his excess energy and helped him to focus. i suggested that he try gymming before tuition again next week, hopefully we're on to something here!

in something that didn't go so well, yesterday's gay bar outing left me feeling a bit out of sorts. even seeing cute bartender (he wasn't working, just dropped by to visit) didn't help my mood much. still can't pinpoint the exact reason...current forerunners are: (1) i wasn't feeling confident about myself, (2) i didn't approach 3 guys who i found attractive - also because they were busy with each other, (3) i was irresponsible with something someone lent me, and didn't get to apologize to him before he left. might very well be a mixture of all of the above. the bright side is that i got some quality time with a cute guy. interestingly, he says he wants to get married and start a family. so i'm just taking a casual approach here, without investing too many feelings. after all, it seems like we can be good as friends as well. for the record, he's single now, so no guilt about engaging with him.

you know what? over-analyzing it might not be the way to go...after all, sometimes good days happen without you putting in any extra effort, and bad days happen without you doing anything wrong. one thing i think i'll try out is to put a bit more thought into dressing up for nights when clothes aren't coming off. not to the extent of a suit and tie or anything, but maybe like a nicer T-shirt and covered shoes. i think it would kind of help the self-confidence/mental self-image a bit.

happy with myself for going to the gym today! did leg day and i'm feeling ok despite the increase in weights. that might change tomorrow, when muscle soreness fully sets in. getting close to deadlifting and squatting my bodyweight now (still far behind for bench press, sadly), which means that i should take even more care to not get injured. i think i've been a bit more on track with food intake this week, but there's still some room for improvement since i've been snacking in the office. well...do what i can, i guess.

future forecast...in-office day tomorrow, where i'm planning to wrap this week up by sending another case in. just doing a quick back-of-envelope calculation, i'll need to get another 14-ish points by end-june, to be just-nice on target. there are decimal points and i'll want more to have some buffer, but let's just say 14 now for ease of calculation. submitting a case tomorrow means i'll need 13 points in 9.5 weeks, or about 1.36 per week. seems doable! i'll probably aim for 15, maybe a little more since we're being trained on a different type of case next week and there are some points there ripe for the picking. my oldest case there is almost a year old from when i received it - imagine that! quite excited at the thought of my task list shrinking even more. same routine on saturday, nothing special. will probably go to the gym on sunday, and maybe for another event? it's paid and i don't know if tickets are still available. even if they were, i'm not sure if going is the wisest idea, considering my experience yesterday and the associated emotions which are still lingering around. well...i figure it's time to channel scary JC friend and do the 随缘 thing. i'll check if tickets are still available, and will go if they are. if they're not, that's fine too; there'll be other opportunities.

also to remind myself, i have a health checkup next monday. the company organized it for us, and i decided to pay a bit more to get more detailed info. i'm particularly interested in my thyroid function and testosterone levels, since those seem to be key factors affecting ease/rate of weight loss. hopefully there's no major issue with those things, and everywhere else, of course! my last comprehensive check was just before ending JET, so almost exactly 2 years ago. figure that i should do it more regularly, since i'm at the age where receiving bad health news is becoming less unthinkable. one of my colleagues had a blood pressure scare, which necessitated some lifestyle changes. fingers crossed!

-random thought of the day: My red cabbage soup turned green (pH thing)!-

Melting in the heat today. something about the temperature and/or humidity just saps your energy away. survived the alumni gathering in the morning, which is held outdoors but in a shaded area. decided that the bus timings were looking a little shady plus i wasn't thrilled at the thought of waiting at the bus stop in this weather, so i booked a grab down. not going to make it a regular habit, but as mentor figure says, paying for comfort and convenience is worth it. i'll add on to say "sometimes, when the usual method becomes too unpalatable". no regrets today!

tuition was ok...i hope i managed to reinforce the concepts sufficiently. as far as i'm aware, i'm explaining things simply and clearly. but if it's not getting through to the kids, it's not a good enough explanation. but well, we still have more time - until the end of the term, at least. good news in the tuition realm is i confirmed my rate with ACS boy. it's literally twice of what i get at my friend's centre, which makes me think that an old boy was right...there's a huge market for last-minute rescue jobs. and just think - this isn't even that last-minute yet! maybe i'll take a few cases each year, just for extra spending money. that's dependent on whether i'll have a source of students, but i think the best approach to take here is "if it comes, it comes".

big success for home improvement; i haven't seen a cockroach for the past 3 days! hopefully it keeps up, and i'm not speaking too soon. i also ordered a couple of mats for my toilet and the front door. i realize that i might have a problem choosing a doormat - there are so many interesting and funny designs! the current forerunners are one designed in the style of an airport sign with arrows in opposite directions for arrival and departure; and one with a picture of a shocked cat and the text "oh no, not you again". maybe i'll get both? i'll also repurpose the mat that my aunt bought for my computer chair, and use it for the entrance area where people take their shoes off. need to figure out how to orient the furniture there for maximum space utilization, though.

gym yesterday was...sobering. i feel like there's a mobility/strength issue with my shoulders, particularly the left one, which makes overhead presses difficult. i also had an in-body scan yesterday. been meaning to do it for a while, but a series of unfortunate events (printer running out of paper, no connection between machine and printer) prevented that. it seems that my weight went up(!), but my body fat percentage remained about constant. that means i'm gaining both muscle and fat. while i could pin the blame on excessive eating during the japan trip, i also know that i haven't been super disciplined with my diet and gym plans as of late. my lead asked me to volunteer (paradoxical, isn't it?) to help out with IP week this year, so my goal is to make sure i fit into my formal attire for the event, which should be around end-august. another 4.5 months to go, definitely enough time!

speaking of attire, i can't remember if i blogged about this next thing, but it's something that i've definitely thought of before. as a result of growing up big-sized, i kind of have a...complex(?) about clothes shopping. like, i'll do it if i need new clothes, but it doesn't excite me. in fact, i'd go as far as to say i dreaded clothes shopping up till a few years ago, and i still get the occasional after-effect of it. worse, i tend to overestimate my clothes size due to fear of them being too tight. it was only on JET where i started buying more well-fitting clothes, and the confidence boost is quite noticeable! i should do a second wardrobe clean-up. partially because of the clothes size thing, and also partially because some of my clothes are developing holes. on a side note, the jeans i bought in japan are actually a bit too big! like, i can put them on without unbuttoning/unzipping them. let's hope it stays that way at the bare minimum. best case, i'll have to send them for alteration...to a smaller size, of course!

tomorrow is going to be chores and gym day. definitely have to do a round of rubbish disposal, plus some cleaning and organization. hopefully the area under the kitchen sink isn't too cockroach-y. possibly going to the gay bar after gym (need to bring a change of clothes or come home to shower). crochet guy is potentially spending the night on monday, so that's something to look forward to. tuesday is usually my work from home day, but there's a company event in the afternoon. wednesday might see me picking scary JC friend's mum up from the airport, to be confirmed. i also got a bunch of new cases on friday. a couple of the new cases seem quite nonsensical, but it's the applicant's prerogative to spend their money and apply for patents covering whatever they want. not quite sure how to deal with them right now, but i'm sure i'll find a way.

-random thought of the day: Notebook-buying syndrome is striking again!-

Low-energy day today. wonder if it's because i'm still compensating for last friday and saturday, or just because of some sleep issues. i think i've been sleeping well enough for the past 2 days, though i remember it being a bit more difficult to wake up this morning. that also resulted in me having an afternoon nap. whatever it is, i hope that it'll pass soon.

this week has been kind of unremarkable so far...just the usual clearing cases for work. my mentor returns me cases within 2-3 days, which i'm insanely grateful for. being able to send cases out faster means that my task list is shortening rapidly. it shouldn't affect me, but i think it boosts my morale on a subconscious level. i'll have to ask my lead for more cases soon, so it's going to get longer again. should appreciate it while it lasts!

tuition with ACS boy doesn't seem to be progressing as smoothly as i'd like. i think part of the problem is that tuition is at night, so he's probably tired out. add that to chemistry not being one of his favourite subjects and one that he doesn't understand well, i'm not surprised that he's having some trouble absorbing what i'm telling him. depending on how he does for his upcoming test, i may suggest that we meet less often, or stop the arrangement altogether at the worst case. i feel like he's got too many things going on, and i'm not adding much value for him.

scary jc friend is on day 3 of the walking pilgrimage, and she's keeping us updated on the progress. one thing she mentioned (which i didn't really think about) was the less-than-ideal toilet and shower facilities. while NS has trained me to be able to do my business in far worse conditions, it's still something that i would prefer to avoid. well, that's something to think about if we really do go for it next year. mentor figure has also been asking her for updates quite frequently. i guess it's his way of showing concern. i'm a bit less active in that regard, both because i know she'll update us about particularly interesting things, and because we can go (and have gone) for months with no contact, without our friendship suffering any damage. now that i think about it, we've seen a lot more of each other since the breakup - what with her coming to bail me out (of the ex's place and not jail, thankfully), acting as my agent to get the flat, plus we see each other at least once a week during the alumni thing. i'm grateful that our friendship doesn't seem to have an optimal distance...all distances seem to work!

better write my plans for the near future down, so that i don't forget them. in office both tomorrow and friday, where i'll try to get one case out and submit another for checking. will plan for a gym session too, probably on friday. alumni thing (where scary JC friend won't be in attendance) and tuition on saturday, finishing with gym and possibly going to the gay bar on sunday. seems fairly routine. oh! i just ordered another huge batch of meat. need to finish my current supply before i can work on the new pieces. decided to get lamb as well this time for variety, since it's a meat i don't really eat that often. i realize that processing chicken is more trouble than it's worth, plus i don't think i've ever gotten chicken cravings. and even if i did, KFC exists, unlike kentucky fried sheep.

last thing! sometime last week, i noticed a cockroach disappearing into a crevice near the kitchen sink that resulted from hacking away a bit of the old owner's $20000 kitchen renovation job. can you hear my eyes rolling at the agent? anyway. the painter who did my renovations left a bag of wall putty behind, so i mixed up a small batch and sealed the crevice up. it's by no means a professional job; you can see unevenness and where i gave up on tools and just used my fingers. don't know if it's confirmation bias or whatever, but it seems that the number of cockroaches decreased over the past few days. still not at zero yet, unfortunately, but i figure it'll get even better once i refresh the poison traps.

-random thought of the day: My Uniqlo jeans fit perfectly!-

Super tired today after spending almost 12 hours outside. it actually started from yesterday, since events led to me having only about 4-5 hours of sleep after being outside for about 14 hours. yesterday's first event was going down to the town council office in marine terrace (just opposite my aunt's place, actually) to set up GIRO payment for my S&C charges, which is payable every month. my initial thought was to use my credit card, but i realized that i forgot to bring the physical card down so i didn't have to necessary details. at least my bank account number has been committed to memory, so GIRO it had to be. while i was there, i also asked about appealing to have my climate vouchers restored, since the previous owner claimed them. they told me that that wasn't under their purview, and i had to get in touch with the ministry of finance. expecting that it would be a long battle, i just googled to try my luck, and found that there was a government site where i could fill a form up and send in supporting evidence. so i did that on the way to lunch, and am hoping to hear back from them soon.

lunch was awesome. we ate at this japanese place at bukit timah plaza that sells chirashi don, which defines a category of food that is a bowl of rice topped with seafood. i had 2 small bowls! delicious, but perhaps a bit much in hindsight. more than the food, i enjoyed the company. looking in from an outsider's perspective, i think it must seem strange for 37 year-olds and 78 year-olds to get along as well as we do. reminds me that i should treasure our interaction more, especially since mentor figure said that he might not go on such long trips any more due to age and other reasons. hopefully we can do at least one more trip, even if it has to be a shorter one, before he decides to hang up his travelling shoes for good.

i then followed scary JC friend to a condo showflat for an agent briefing that she wanted to attend. she showed me around the sample layouts for the standard and premium 4-room units, and while i think it looks extremely luxurious, it's more than what i'd need...but having a private lift lobby is severely tempting! i also realized that contrary to most people's preference for high floors, i actually like lower floors. practical reason: less time needed to go up, so there's less suffering in the event of a toilet emergency (i've experienced it a few times at the sengkang place - not fun). slightly whimsical reason that may not have an actual impact: i learnt in one of the physics electives i took during undergrad that general relativity says time passes faster the further away you are from a source of gravity. so you kind of age faster the further away you are from the centre of the earth. google's AI search response tells me that a person 100m above sea level (about 30-35 floors up) will experience 344 more nanoseconds per year than a person at sea level. over a typical human lifespan of 80 years, that works out to about 27 microseconds...or effectively nothing. there goes reason #2! anyway, i also realized that even after the showflat tour, i didn't feel motivated to work towards having that kind of nice house. i'm still for the plan of selling this HDB after 5 years and getting a private condo or whatever i can afford, but that reason is like, 95% financial and 5% because upgrading to a "nicer" house.

went to the gay bar after that, where the night's theme was 男体盛り (なんたいもり), which is sushi served on a male body. the physically attractive lawyer and one guy i'd never seen before were the "plates". i had a couple of pieces, but i wouldn't call it a great experience for myself. i realize that food and M18 stuff don't go together well for me. how can i explain it...it's like i can only focus on one of those things at a time! and eating isn't particularly sexy to me anyway. add on the fact that they used cheaper machine-made sushi with large, gummy balls of rice...no. i gave feedback that sashimi might be a better choice, both because of the reduced food volume and the absence of carbs. let's see if they plan another event to try it!

there were the usual uh...activities going on as well, and i got acquainted with a british guy who's gay, married (open marriage) to a taiwanese guy, and they had kids via surrogacy. seems like the picture of a perfect family life, but i know it's not for me. still, i respect him for all the effort and resources that he put into getting his ideal version of "family". incidentally, he thinks i'm cute, and even offered to buy me a drink! first time it's happened, and i must say it's very flattering, and a huge confidence boost! i think i can better understand a source of scary JC friend's confidence if she's been getting this kind of attention from guys. he also put the idea of going to this year's taipei pride parade into my head. that's in october, so a lot of things are still up in the air. but i'll work towards at least having the option to go, as far as work matters are concerned.

i also talked to another guy whom i'd seen at the venue before but never interacted with. he looks caucasian, but apparently is full singaporean! and by that, i mean both his parents are chinese singaporean. he says every generation of his family will have one kid with caucasian features, and it's him for his generation. although i don't have the biological knowledge to explain it, i think that it's quite cool! looks aside, he's friendly, and it would be nice to talk to him again when we meet there. for some reason, i don't feel particularly either way about engaging him outside of the venue, but i suppose i can ask for his contact the next time. wouldn't hurt, right?

cute bartender was working, but i did manage to get in some contact with him as the night wound down and he got less busy. even something as simple as having my arm around him does my heart so much good. i also kind of half-joked that if he was looking to form a singapore branch of his open relationship, i'm first in line! although now that i've said it, i also have to be honest and admit that i don't know him well enough to know if we'd be good for each other or not as far as a romantic relationship goes. but that's what the friends phase is for, right? to get a feel of each other (literally and metaphorically, in the case of people i meet at the gay bar) to determine whether dating and/or more is a potential option or not. reminder to self again, don't have any expectations. main focus should still be tending the garden.

ended up getting home around midnight, and was only able to sleep for like, 5 hours. woke up for a toilet break and just couldn't fall asleep again. went for the alumni thing as usual, and then tuition. the kids don't seem to be remembering the content, which is mildly worrying because that means they're not understanding it at a fundamental level. i'm going to use my ultimate tactic next week, and it's not failed me yet.

during the alumni thing, scary JC friend mentioned that she was having trouble with a tenant who was overstaying his welcome. her goal was to evict him by today, and she was planning to go down to the house and watch him pack. it seemed bad, like "worst case the police would be called" kind of bad, so i offered to go along as moral support and more importantly, to act as a witness if the tenant tried any tricks. so we met up again after tuition and headed to the place in kovan. as i was listening to the tenant try to explain things, i realized that i really hate a certain way of talking. the simplest way to describe it would be "slimy", i guess. like, the tenant was a few months behind on rent, yet wanted to issue cheques for the landlord to bank in at a later date. and he kept promising and guaranteeing that he would leave by 10 pm (which was already later than the 5pm that the landlord wanted), that he wouldn't abscond, that the money would be available within a certain timeframe...basically promising the sun and moon. given that he'd missed payments before, i absolutely do not trust him at all.

the only sympathetic point i have for him is that he's in poor health, and could be going through a rough spot in life. at the same time, i also think that by being uncommunicative, he's making his problem everyone else's problem. i think the landlord (who seemed pretty nice, based on our brief interaction) would have given him some concessions if he'd proactively approached her and explained the situation, instead of making her chase for rent and upsetting her to the point where she told scary JC friend that she didn't want to deal directly with the tenant any more. at any rate, i'm relieved that the matter appears to have been settled peacefully, and no third parties (except scary JC friend) needed to get involved. strictly speaking, she needn't have gone down, but this rental was a referral and i think she wanted to help her friend out. as a bonus, she bought me dinner as thanks for burning about 3 hours there. it wasn't necessary, but i appreciated it! we ate at that thai kway chap place nearby, the one that sold out of either the fried large intestines or fish sausage the last time we went. that was before JET, by the way! happy that i got to try both today. i think that i would go again, but not like, make any special effort to.

well, that's yesterday and today. i'm tired, but not dropping dead yet. in the near future, work is scheduled to continue as normal. based on this past week, i think going to the office on monday, thursday, and friday seems to be feasible. scary JC friend is flying off to taiwan tomorrow for 3-ish weeks, where she'll do a walking pilgrimage and attend a self-improvement course that's supposed to be life-changing. i told her that if she sees results for either or both of them, i'll do them with her next year. tomorrow's plan is to do some house cleaning, figure out a way to get rid of the cockroach smell, and bring some old clothes to the textile recycling bin. hopefully nobody will go diving in and take what i put in. yes, it's actually becoming a thing. further ahead, tuition with the ACS kid, and i don't think i'll visit the gay bar this coming week; none of the themes seem interesting to me. might have a small schedule conflict on the 22nd, pending further updates. but that's still some ways away, so it's fine.

-random thought of the day: Watching a new anime!-

TGIF! or TGIT, rather. it's the same this week, because i'm on leave tomorrow! mentor figure invited me and a few others to lunch, and i had an off-in-lieu to clear before it expired...so might as well. this week has been good, feels like i'm getting back on track with the important things like work and fitness. submitted a bunch of cases, and most of them came back with minor suggestions. seems like my mentor is now not looking at my work as closely as before. after all, i'm supposed to be the most knowledgeable about my cases. not to mention my mentor has to check other people's work too, so having to spend less time on me should help her productivity. i'm kind of relieveed to be back under her, as my cases should come back faster. not that i dislike being under my group lead, by the way!

gym was good, i did legs this week. took special care to watch my squat form for the sake of protecting my back, and i think it paid off. i'm feeling some aching, but no sharp pains or anything. weights went up all around, so that's a good thing. excited to see if i'll be able to deadlift and/or squat my bodyweight by the end of this year! my guess is deadlift would be possible/likely, but i'm less certain about squats.

had transformation kink guy over yesterday. apparently he's stressed because of work and life in general. he seemed to have fun, and i'm happy for that. but the idea that a hot body (and other anatomy) can't make up for things like quality of interaction and other intangibles is becoming more solid. it's not that i don't like him, but i think it's more of...i would be sad if he decided to end it, but not like devastated. well, guess i'm getting past the superficial thing slowly.

as mentioned before, i have a lunch tomorrow. going to make the most of my leave day and go down to the town council office to set up credit card payment for my S&C charges, and if i'm lucky, i'll also be able to get them to restore my climate vouchers, which the previous owner claimed. nothing wrong with that since the house was registered under their name when it was issued. best case, i get an extra $400. worst case, i don't earn or lose. might as well, right? after that, there's most likely a gay bar visit. tomorrow's theme is more interesting, and i hope it goes better than last sunday's visit, which was nice but felt a bit lacking. at least the cute bartender came down!

-random thought of the day: Bring snacks and USB cable tomorrow!-

Figuring out what's missing in my diet has led to me order a whole bunch of cheese from redmart. i think i'm on to something here though...i put some blue cheese on bread and it seemed to hit the spot. good to know! having cheese in the fridge also fulfills the "can be prepared in 5 minutes" and "doesn't need cooking" criteria, so that's an added bonus. but since preparing food is so convenient, i've got to remind myself to watch my snacking impulses. sometimes it's thirst disguised as hunger, which may cause me to take in unnecessary calories if i don't identify the right cause.

had a very good lift/pull day at the gym yesterday. lowered the weight for deadlifts a little, and compensated by doing an even heavier last set. also took special care to watch my form and protect my lower back, which seems to have paid off as i don't feel any pain or ache there at all. my elbows are aching a bit though, and i'm trying to solve that by moving them a bit more to increase blood flow. finished my big bottle of protein powder after gym, and i'm looking forward to trying the next one as it's coconut-flavoured! fingers crossed i like it, because i bought the bigger size. for future reference, i need to use less psyllium husk powder as compared to whole psyllium husks in the protein shake. yesterday's shake turned out more like pudding!

what else happened this week? tuition with the ACS boy (the one S referred me to). i honestly feel he's overloaded with tuition. it's to the point where his parents have to keep track of his tuition schedule using google calendar! makes me feel bad to add to his stress/workload, which is why i'm trying to assign as little homework as possible. from what i see, he's not exercising enough autonomy in his own life. like, his parents signed him up for so much tuition, and he appears to be just following along. at the same time, i can appreciate that they want what's best for him. in my opinion though, they're overdoing it a bit. but it's not my life, and thus not my position to interfere. see? parenting is tough. do too little, get criticized/judged. do too much, same thing! worst part is that "just right" is not only a tricky zone to hit, it differs for each kid. that's another reason why i'm perfectly happy to remain childless - n less headaches, where n = number of kids.

had a teeth cleaning session with dentist friend this past thursday. things are looking ok...no cavities, at least! apparently, i'm not cleaning the back surfaces of my teeth enough, particularly closer to the gumline. the gums at the back of my mouth where my molars are also bleed really easily, which dentist friend says is due to inflammation. need to use the interdental brushes more often. plus, i ordered an electric toothbrush during the lazada sale. it should reach me within the coming week, and i'm quite looking forward to trying it out!

this next thing is that i had a conflict with someone. it's something that i feel neutral about - not particularly proud or embarrassed either way. i think that that shift in perception is a sign of growth! so what exactly happened was that as i was taking the bus home from tuition, an old man (boomer, probably mid-50s to 60s) sat down and put his feet up on the seat facing him. when i directed him to a sign prohibiting such behaviour, he got defensive and tried to justify his behaviour by saying that he was old, he would put his feet down when someone wanted the seat, all the excuses that you'd expect. i then told him being old was not an excuse, and he should know better having lived for so long. but the main point is that his feet taking up an extra seat wasn't the issue - it was that his feet (well, feet in public in general) were dirty and gross, and should not be put on a seat! despite me telling him that at least 5 times, he only adjusted his position when i started videoing him. to his credit, he came over and apologized before he alighted...although i wonder if it was genuine, or because he knew that i videoed him and he was trying to mitigate the damage (ie. hoping that his apology would lead to me not posting the video online). i also wonder if he'll do it again? well, that's not my concern...unless we're unlucky enough to be on the same bus in future.

the main difference between this confrontation and previous ones that i've had is that i remained calm throughout. no flashes of anger, no shouting, no physical violence, not even any thoughts of the above! and i think that's what helped me come across as more reasonable. that, and knowing that i was in the right gave me more conviction. i think i'm going to try and speak up more - one thing i dislike about singaporean (and japanese, maybe asian in general) culture is that people will tolerate inconsiderate behaviour to maintain the illusion of harmony, or the 和 (わ, literally "peace"). i don't know about japanese people, but a good proportion of singaporeans will (1) make small signs of disapproval - pointed glares, small noises - in hopes that the offending person will notice and stop, or (2) put up with it without saying anything at the time, but secretly take photos/videos and complain online later. #1 doesn't work because inconsiderate people are usually too dense to read the room, while #2 is kind of cowardly, in a sense. and both of them give the inconsiderate person the false impression that what they're doing is acceptable. then kids will learn from this, and the scourge will spread to future generations. should also use such opportunities to practise strategies to deal with different groups of people. older people tend to be more face-conscious, and younger people usually respond better to reason. call it my community service, i guess!

back to the office tomorrow. while i'll miss the convenience of 100% work from home, having a reason to get out of the house is a good thing. quite looking forward to seeing my colleagues again, plus i have to talk to my mentor to recalibrate expectations now that i'm a little bit more independent. in particular, i need to find out if she still expects me to do everything from scratch, or if she'll allow me to use some company-sanctioned shortcuts. i've got a slack day planned for today...just some rubbish disposal, going to sim lim to check if they sell something that scary JC friend needs, and then a visit to the gay bar tonight. before that, i'm going to renew my subscription to final fantasy to get the easter event done!

-random thought of the day: Need to prepare tomorrow's lunch too!-