Past me sometimes does (did?) things that pleasantly surprises present me. like, i'd been telling myself to go scan copies of my bachelor's degree and transcript for ease of job applications. turns out that past me did that sometime in 2013, and i completely forgot about it until i needed soft copies, and went to check my certificates folder in the computer. then again, i suppose it's because i haven't had the need for them in the last 5 years due to job security in grad school. anyway, having them already scanned turned out to be pretty convenient. i applied for the learning lab thing, but i'm not sure how that will go. i suppose it will be a good experience. i indicated my availability only from september onwards, as a significant part of august will be spent travelling.

these past few days have been kind of slack. spent most of the time rotting at home, despite my self-professed desire to be more active by going out every day. i did manage to run some errands though, like sending my jacket/blazer in for dry-cleaning. don't think i'll need it, but i figure i'll bring it along to jakarta in case there's a need to dress more formally for events. you already know about epic submission day, so no point repeating myself. wow, i guess i've been taking things REALLY easy! should up the tempo a bit, to build up momentum and regain stamina for my travels.

a few things that are bugging me recently are my finger and phone. don't know why, but the second joint of my right middle finger feels...offset. i usually crack that joint by bending it and pressing my fingertip inwards towards my palm, but that hasn't worked recently. instead, it only cracks when i give the finger a short, sharp pull. the physician said that it was afflicted with minor trigger finger. don't even know how i got that. it's probably not overuse; the only thing i use that finger for is typing. or it might be from scrolling the mouse wheel, which i also use my index finger for, apparently. i was trying to determine which one i used more commonly by seeing which felt more comfortable, and both felt equally normal. reminds me of the time when i was really young, and couldn't remember which was my primary hand. maybe i had the potential to be ambidextrous then, but it's gone now. the only other thing i use that finger for is probably in assisting my gripping of various items, like the car steering wheel, or utensils when i cook. so...who knows?

my phone isn't really giving me major problems, but different parts of the screen are a slightly different colour. it's barely noticeable, and most people wouldn't spot it at a cursory glance. but for someone who's up close and personal with that screen fairly often, it's definitely caught my eye. i wonder if it's because i dropped the phone before, or is the screen giving problems as it ages? the phone is barely half a year old, so i'm hoping that it can be fixed. conversely, my note 5 had no problems, until that trip it took through the air when i had to jam the brake due to a moron taxi driver. that caused the LCD to bleed and eventually become unusable. still have to get a quote on the cost to fix it. the downside of getting either repairs or a replacement phone is that i'll need to spend more to re-affix a screen protector, which is even more troublesome (and expensive!) because of the curved screen. well, we'll see what happens. worst case is i learn to live with it.

since this post is looking a little sparse on content, i figured that it would be a good place to insert my thoughts on the conversation with my dad. it took place 4 weeks ago, so i'm kind of behind on that. the long story short version is that he wanted to know my plans for the future, reminded me not to forget my roots, and told me about his plans for the future. i didn't really take issue with the things that he brought up. but throughout the conversation, i kept getting this feeling like he thought that i didn't really know what i was doing, and that i needed more guidance in life. i can't say that he's wrong; it would be presumptuous to assume that i knew everything about life at the ripe old age of 29-going-30. but somehow, i'd like to think that i'm not as helpless/hapless as he thinks i am. i do have plans to reconnect with my roots too, just that i haven't put them into action yet. it's an idea that's been rolling around in my head since graduating from undergrad, but i've just been dragging my heels on it. step 1 of that plan involves finding out the exact locations of the tablets of all 4 grandparents. i know that they're all in the same temple in tanah merah, but that's all. my aunt pointed them out to me the last time i went, but that was in...2007? i had difficulty spotting them even with guidance (they were placed among many others in a large square), let alone 11 years later and alone.

one thing which we disagree upon is the idea of "family". more specifically, how a family should be. his belief is more confucian/traditional in nature, in that he believes that for a group of people to be related by blood, they had to share some form of affinity. as such, they're stuck with each other, and should accommodate each other and forgive/forget all past misdeeds, as long as it wasn't life or death. kind of fatalistic, right? in my opinion, not quite. i believe that blood is thicker than water - the actual meaning. to me, "family" is who you feel closest to and most comfortable with, and if these people are also related to you by blood, then that's a great bonus. conversely, if there are blood relatives who are no good for you, i feel that you should have the ability/right to dissociate from them. it's more deterministic in nature, and is more likely to be a relatively unpopular opinion in this part of the world, i'm sure. but well. opinions can't be wrong.

it's my second-last week in singapore before all the crazy travel plans. to help make my days more productive, i think i'll come up with some things to do, and see which days i feel like doing those things. hopefully the list will give me reason to step out of the house every day.
- collect dry-cleaning (friday earliest)
- go grocery shopping for stew ingredients, and cook up a batch
- go to waterway point or JEM to get a gift for friend in australia
- go to star vista to get a new blowtorch (check waterway point first, just in case)
- go to parkway parade to check on the s-pen and phone display
- collect the AUD from my aunt
- turf city driving on saturday
- take a look at the stationery shop, but maybe don't buy yet
- clear chemicals (weeknights or sunday)

even doing one item a day should keep me plenty occupied. have to pay season parking and clean my room, but i'll find time to fit those in. for now, it's bedtime. just spent a few hours talking to a person. i'm modulating my expectations, but the initial interaction is positive. we'll see. i don't expect a relationship right now. being friends (benefits optional) is good for the time being, until i gain more self-confidence.

-random thought of the day: Expectation and anticipation often result in disappointment.-

Dreamt that i found my s-pen rolled up in my blanket. felt super realistic at that time, but a quick check proved that i don't have aptitude for prophetic dreams. looks like i still haven't escaped the eventuality of getting another one. was supposed to go to parkway to take a look yesterday, but i ended up spending too long at my aunt's place and playing with their fluffy dog. well...it's not like i lack time or anything, especially since the official thesis submission is done! the actual submission process was a lot more painless than i'd imagined. just had to send 2 copies of the thesis to the department, and the 2 remaining copies (along with the necessary paperwork) to the student service centre at YIH. there, the counter staff will check that everything is in order, have you fill out a form, and take over everything from you. it took about...10 minutes, tops? was a pleasant experience overall, but i found myself with about an hour and a half to kill, since i was too generous in allocating time for it just in case there were any hiccups. i went to rot at turf city for a while (free parking FTW), and found out that the carnivore there had closed down in february. so, with plans for my celebratory lunch thwarted, i decided to head to bishan to try the fish maw soup that i'd read about previously in some reviews. it was good, deeply rich and flavourful. but was it worth $8? i personally don't think so. not when the dried wolfberries were still crunchy, and when the volume of the ingredients had to be bulked up with a beaten egg. i'd go $6 maximum, but it was good for the experience. and if i have to eat in bishan, my first choice will always be the chicken rice.

before all that, the first item on my to-do list was to get the rubber nose pad on my safety goggles replaced. what happened is that the existing nose pad got tacky and gross. definitely not something that i'd want to put on my face. that piece of rubber cost $8. granted that the piece of rubber in question is specially shaped and requires expertise to install. was fast, though...was in and out of there within 30 minutes, about 15 of which were spent driving around to locate the non-lorry carpark and the exact lift lobby to take the lift up to their office. you know about submission and lunch, so not going to repeat myself. there was TCM after that. got more needles in my ankle and knee, which are still hurting every now and then. apparently my right ankle was swollen. the physician said that i had a high tolerance to not go in sooner, but i told her that i wasn't in too much pain. plus, the appointment had been scheduled, so might as well stick to it. the massage therapist really killed me. in addition to brutalizing my legs (including inner thighs, which are sensitive under the best circumstances), she did cupping for me, which resulted in over 40 circular bruises all over my back. right now, my knee is still prone to jolts of pain when i change direction suddenly, which i suppose is expected. ankle still hurts a bit. nothing i can't survive. i was also talking to the massage therapist while getting tenderized, in an effort to be friendly as well as to take my mind off the pain. in our conversation, i said something like "我还是对自己的身体不满足" (i am still not satisfied with my body). she told me that the correct word to use should have been "满意". i didn't get it at first, because both terms translate to "satisfied" in english. based on my understanding, it seems that "满足" is used more for a physical feeling of satisfaction/fulfillment, ie. the satisfaction you get after a good meal, or to describe fulfilling a set of criteria. "满意" is used for more intangible things, like satisfaction with someone's performance, or with hospitality that was accorded. hope i got that right.

dinner was with judo friends, and it was kind of bittersweet. while it's always nice to meet with these friends, i got updates on two people who i can say i've loved before. i still love one of them, and it's the same person who was referenced 3 to 4 posts ago. i'm happy that they're doing well. call me stupid or whatever, but my heart still skips a beat when we're in close proximity. as for the other person, i loved them. but for some reason, they chose to cut all contact with me a few years ago. i don't know why. i never confessed or did anything drastic. maybe they sensed it through our regular interactions? but well...it just wasn't meant to be, i guess. they're also managing decently enough in life, and while it does make me somewhat happy, i have this irrational negativity towards that person and our previous "relationship". maybe it's jealousy or heartbreak or wounded pride, but i can't find it within myself to be truly 100% happy for them, hence why i say that i loveD them. ugh. it'll be ok as long as i don't see them, and if reminders of them are few and far between. as it is, i think of them only a few times a year now, maximum. dinner itself was nice. had filipino food, which i'm ok with. not something that i'd seek out on purpose, but once in a while is fine. my main gripe with it is that everything appears to be fried. out of the 8 or so dishes that we had, 4 were fried. of the remaining 4, 2 were stewed, 1 was soup, and the last was dessert. i liked the dessert quite a lot. it was basically a piece of cooked (baked?) purple yam, which some of us mistook for yam ice cream initially. cue surprised reactions of "it's warm!" all around when we dug into it. tasted exactly like or nee, except less oily and more solid.

following that, i made a detour to send someone home and pick up something, then i met one of the big brother figures for his dinner/my supper at safra punggol. we had a good conversation as usual, and caught up on each other's lives. i was telling him that i didn't feel confident about my appearance, and that's resulted in me being afraid to seek out proper relationships. i seem to be settling for substandard people who can't offer me proper love. that's what it means by "you get the love that you think you deserve", i suppose. i feel that i'm not good enough to hold out for that special someone who will treat me right, so i'm taking anyone that comes along and shows the slightest bit of interest/attention. it's not healthy, and will probably result in unnecessary heartbreak. have to learn to get past that. i think that looking better will boost my self-confidence, but my friend says that it should be the opposite - that i should learn to like myself as i am now, find someone who likes me in my current state, then improve my appearance from there. i don't know. my plan remains the same, and that's not to be in a rush to get into relationships until i feel better about myself.

today is a really special day - my blog turns 15 years old! considering i started it when i was about 14 years and 9 months old, and that i'm not even 30 yet, this blog has been around for more than half my life already. the actual halfway point was probably when i was 29 years and 6 months old (i think? i'm not good at calculations of years and months). if so, that was april this year. i was just thinking, what fraction of my total lifespan will this blog exist for? i'd be delighted if it reached 9/10, but that would mean i'd be a significant outlier as i'd have to have lived for close to 150 years to achieve the 9/10 thing. assuming robot bodies and brains in jars are not possible in my lifetime, i'd be happy with 4/5, and consider myself extremely fortunate if i managed to reach 5/6. but let's see what life has in store for me. as of now, i do not foresee myself stopping blogging. this is post number 1612, which means that i've posted between 100 to 110 posts per year on average, or about one post every 3-4 days. that average doesn't seem to have changed very much throughout the blog's life so far, which is a good sign i think? regardless, i'm looking forward to more blogging in the years to come, and i hope that no matter whether you're a long time reader or if this is the first post you've seen, if you're reading this, you'll stick with me (here, at least) through whatever life has to offer!

-random thought of the day: Need to sleep earlier.-

My head feels like it's partially stuffed with cotton. this is in spite of me drinking only one glass of wine last night. must have been because i didn't hydrate myself enough before going to sleep. well, i'm functioning at around 90%, so that's still good. have to give tuition later, so i can't afford to be too out of it.

to add on a little to the NEL story from yesterday, i guess that the lesson i can learn from that is to treat my support network well when things go bad in relationships. perhaps ESPECIALLY when things go bad in relationships, even. they're standing by me out of the kindness of their hearts and the bond of friendship that we forged over time. as i've said before, i have no money or assets or other benefits to offer them. just my friendship and the promise that i'd do the same for them if they ever needed it. of course, i personally can accept a little bit of the negative emotion spilling over onto me, but i don't think that i (or anyone) who is not directly involved in the conflict should be blamed when performing in a support role for a friend.

on to the wedding! it was held at novotel clarke quay, and for the drivers who've never attended functions there, it shares the liang court parking lot. so don't get confused as to where to park. thankfully it was after 6pm, so parking was per entry. there was complimentary parking provided nevertheless, so that's a win to me. i think yesterday must have been an auspicious day; there were three weddings ongoing at the hotel itself. as i've mentioned, my JC classmate was the one getting married, to his girlfriend of 7 years. i wasn't particularly close to this guy, both in and beyond JC. i mean, i'd offer to send him home if the need arose, but i wouldn't go out of my way to schedule a meal with him or anything. which was why i was a little surprised to be invited. nevertheless, he asked me, so i was happy to attend. the dinner and proceedings were nice. food was good, and the video montage was appropriately touching. i've known this guy to have a sense of humour, and it came through in his speech. i was mildly embarrassed to realize that i'd probably never met the bride before today. maybe once, during a dinner gathering of some sort, but i would not recognize her if we bumped into each other on the street. so, it was even more surprising to me that she recognized me and knew me by name. felt kind of nice, too. perhaps i should start reconnecting with more people? interestingly, i realize that i haven't been invited to any secondary schoolmates' weddings, despite knowing that more than a few of them are married now. looking at it objectively, it's no big loss. they're people to whom i have not spoken in 10 to 15 years. so no harm no foul. conversely, it might actually be more awkward to receive an invitation, especially since i don't know if i'd want to go or not.

out of the 26 of us in CJC 1/2T20 2005/2006, fewer than 10 of us are married. might be 5 or fewer, actually...i'm just going with an estimate off the top of my head. 2 classmates married each other, so do we double count? probably not. anyway. there are a few more people who are currently engaged, and even more people who are in relationships. looks like more weddings coming up on the horizon. attending weddings is more likely than not going to be a semi-regular thing over the next few years. i don't know...weddings always makes me imagine/think of what i'd like with my future partner. before you all get too excited, i don't mean that i'd like a wedding myself. it's just that while watching the proposal videos and the whole process of two people getting together, i kind of insert myself and my ideal potential partner (who at this point takes the form of a shadowy silhouette, like secret characters in fighting games) into the video in my imagination. thinking what are some good ideas i could appropriate, or how i would do certain things differently. lame as it sounds, i've given some thoughts to wedding vows. though in my case, it would be more like affirmations of love and stuff. i've got a twist in mind, and it'll make sense if you know me well enough to understand the reasoning behind it. not going to disclose it here yet, though. not until i find a partner whom i'd be comfortable loving. and what if they end up reading this post before i can spring the surprise!?

-break for tuition and other sunday activities, and resumed at 8:54pm-

for the past month or more, the regular sunday routine has been tuition and kurash. not a bad way to spend sunday afternoons, but it could be better. i'm happy enough with tuition; VS boy is showing improvement. he seems to understand me easily enough, and seems to be able to answer questions to a higher standard than when we first started. as for korean boy, i am still of the opinion that he doesn't NEED tuition. maybe i'll push for once per fortnight. i don't know...it seems like a stupid thing to do, considering that i don't make money when i give up sessions. at the same time, i'd feel guilty (or not right, at least) if i were to go there and keep teaching the same thing, or worse, not have anything to teach. could use more kids though. kurash is giving me less happiness. long story short, it appears that the momentum is fading. it's made worse by certain things that i couldn't get done, thanks to misinformation. can't blame anyone, really. it's just how people prioritize it in relation to other aspects of their lives.

went down to the lab earlier to prepare even more for submission. parking is free on sundays, so there's no time pressure to exit and re-enter the carpark(s) to avoid parking fees. signed the declaration (all 4 copies!) and burned the CD. cleared the upper shelf of the fume hood space, too. was a bit nostalgic, looking at some of the compounds which my minions made over the years. i've only got the lower shelf to go. have to ask my friend to remove his stuff there first though, i don't want to throw away anything of his by mistake. submission on tuesday is still a go. i am reasonably confident that i have everything done as far as i can right now. tuesday itself is going to be a packed day, though. going to get the rubber nose pad/cushion things on my safety goggles replaced in the morning, then submission by early afternoon. that'll be followed by TCM, then dinner with some judo people. should use the opportunity to check out the s-pen availability at harvey norman's millennia walk branch. failing that, it's parkway. i STILL have no idea where the damned thing is. am not usually this careless, but even monkeys fall from the tree.

should be trying to sleep early tonight. i'm back to normal(-ish), which is a blessing. hydration really is key to your (my) body functioning properly. not sure what's on the schedule tomorrow...maybe more cooking? i'm down to my last lunchbox of stew. need to message genesis gym to make an appointment, and the tuition agency to ask for my half of the JC boy's payment. do i have any outstanding errands? i had wanted to change SGD for rupiah with my friend, to standby for the asian games. but he just passed me SGD 200 worth of rupiah and told me to return him the balance, plus whatever i spent in SGD. it fills me with awe to receive this level of trust. but i suppose i should give myself some credit. trust, especially in relation to finance matters, is very rarely blindly given. so i must have done something or behaved in a certain way to earn my friend's trust. at least, that's the story i'm sticking to. i think i'm basically good to go from here. looking forward to the week ahead!

-random thought of the day: Need to reconnect with more old friends.-

Gatherings with my JC classmates today have given me some food for thought. something that has kind of sat in the back of my mind is the sort-of falling out i had with my best friend from that time. it was due to his girlfriend, and one of our other friends features into the story as well. since the nearest MRT station from my place is on the purple (north-east) line, i will use N, E, and L to denote these 3 people. convenient explanation, coincidence, or otherwise, you decide.

so N is the best friend. we sometimes went home together after school, since he stays slightly north of me. i couldn't match him in most subjects, except maybe chemistry. he's also one of the two people from our class to score four straight A's for A-levels. even after JC, we met up fairly regularly through army, university, and grad studies for me/work for him. i've stayed over at his place more than once, and his parents know me too. that should give you an idea of how close we are. or were, rather. as for E, he's also a JC classmate. he's actually the one i can't stand extended contact with. don't get me wrong, he's a nice person at heart, but some of the things he does are downright infuriating to me. the three of us were what i'd consider best friends to be.

in university, N started dating this girl, L. she was always nice and friendly to me, but apparently she had her own set of issues which manifested when she was alone with N. it was around that time i think i was also facing problems with the ex, whom i was still dating then. we'd usually have whatsapp conversations about our respective relationship problems. and if it was really bad, i'd drive over to N's place and we'd go for long walks trying to help each other out. the falling out happened a couple of years ago. what triggered it was that L wanted to break up with N. i don't remember if i knew the exact reason for it, but i'm sure that it was something that could have been solved with some compromise. a distraught N messaged me about it, and being kind of fed up with L at that time for putting my best friend through this, i told N that he should find someone else. not quite in those words probably. and...he took it kind of not-well. let's just say that there was very a strong negative reaction. he apologized the next day, but at that point my thought process was like, i can't believe you'd do this to your best friend all because of a girl who's treating you badly to begin with! maybe i was being petty. the issue which they had resulted in N and L breaking up, and N and i not really talking for 9 months to a year, until i thought of extending an olive branch. that's where E comes in. my intention was to meet N alone for some conversation which would hopefully result in reconciliation. N invited E along, who i thought was just there to make up the numbers and therefore i interpreted it as a sign of wanting to brush the issue aside. as a result, i didn't mention it either, and the three of us had what i think was the most awkward dinner with each other in the 10-ish years of our friendship then. over lunch with E today, he told me that he was actually aware of the falling out, and N had asked him along to make things less awkward. clearly, he wasn't very successful. makes me wonder if i should go for attempt #2. to be honest, life is too short for holding grudges against people you treasure. knowing N's character, it probably doesn't affect him any more. what's more he's now got a girlfriend who seems better for him than L did. i don't know man. shouldn't make important decisions while i'm tired.

i'd wanted to blog about another classmate's wedding dinner, but the glass of wine i had there put me in a nice sleepy mood. lucky i stopped early and after only one glass, so i was still capable of driving myself home. think i'll fill in the other stuff tomorrow, or whenever i get round to writing the next post. monday latest, probably, because there are exciting events on tuesday and wendesday that will demand their own posts.

-random thought of the day: Never understood drinking in/to excess.-

Thesis printing is done! was a lot less painful than i'd imagined. was more expensive than projected, though. on average, the cost of printing each copy was $40. out of about 300 pages, about 44 had to be printed in colour. black and white is 4 cents a page, colour is 50 cents a page. so, 256 black and white pages set me back by about $10, 44 colour pages came up to $22, and binding was about another $8 or so. yup, that tallies. i can't help but feel that the shop kind of cheated a bit, because most of my colour pages had only one side with colour, while the other side was black and white. if i had my way, i'd only print the colour side on the colour printer, then orient that same sheet of paper correctly in the black and white printer to print the other side. well, i'll take the staff's word that there's no way to do that reliably. and it helped that they were nice and polite, too.

before going down, i actually read a few reviews of the print shops there. it seems that it's a monopoly, and that the whole third floor is operated by one vendor. but nevertheless, it was a mixed bag of reviews. some reviews said that the staff were unprofessional, the printing quality was bad, and the price was too high. other reviews were more positive, and for me personally, i tend to lean towards the positive side as well. i found no issues with the staff. they were helpful, knowledgeable, and i think we got along well. maybe it's because i engaged them in conversation in chinese and hokkien after hearing them talk among themselves. i think using a language with which people are comfortable instantly earns you plus points in their eyes. but the staff were nice to me, and even waived off the black and white pages which i printed wrongly. i'd definitely go back again if the need ever arose. and it might, because i think my professor might want an even more atas binding done for his own archives of past students. let's cross that bridge when we get there.

went back to the lab briefly after printing, since queensway is near NUS after all. left the copies of my thesis and the relevant paperwork there, just to make life a little easier for myself on submission day. since i was there, i cleaned up the portable bed, and forgot to take it down to put in the car. what a moron! it's sitting near the lab entrance i think, hopefully somewhat out of the way. i had an old bag under my desk, which i settled too. i used it during undergrad days, when i still carried stuff (lecture notes, etc.) to school on public transport. haven't used it since getting the car, and it shows. not only was the bag dusty and musty, the zips were all corroded and stuck, and i ended up having to cut open the side to get at the contents. what was inside? a couple rolls of kinesiology tape, a metal ruler, and a pair of daiso gloves. that was what was worth salvaging, anyway. also cleaned up my area in lab somewhat. sorted out and put back my glassware, and threw out some old chemicals while giving other relevant ones to my junior. i hope she uses them well. still have to clean out the treasure trove under my fume hood. that's set for sunday, i think. at any rate, i'll have to do it all (or most of it) before i fly. that leaves 3 sundays and many weeknights. not tough at all to accomplish, i think.

reviewing the checklist, i have the following outstanding:
- burn the CD (REMEMBER TO BRING IT WITH ME TO LAB ON SUNDAY)
- sign the declaration pages for all 4 copies
- do the submission as outlined previously
- clean out my space in lab
- TAKE THE PORTABLE BED!
- decide whether to take the container now/soon, or wait till a later date

i'm hoping everything goes through with no snags. and in case you don't know, submission isn't the end of it. there's still examiners' comments, and defense after that. the toughest part after submission will probably be addressing the examiners' comments. once i make it to defense, it's probably as good as in the bag...though i don't want to be overconfident. the projected timeline is about 2 months for examiners to get back to the department, then maybe 2 weeks to a month for me to respond to comments, some more delay/buffer time, and finally defense. all in all...i've got at least another 3 to 4-ish months to wait. i'd be grateful if the defense happens by this year, or better yet, by november. let's take things a step at a time.

arrangements for the asian games are progressing well also. i've got solid flight dates, which thankfully do not clash with australia. in fact, i've got about 4 days' buffer time, which is good as i need to do a ton of laundry and run quite a few errands in the intermission between trips. both trips take place in august, and based on a quick calculation, i'll actually be out of singapore for a longer duration than i am in it for that month! last time that happened was probably during my grad trip to new zealand. don't think i need to inform anyone since it's 2 separate trips, but i'll check. it makes me nervous, partially because i'm probably the youngest ITO for kurash. but i'm in good hands, that much i know. need to have faith that things will work out well. and i have friends from other countries who will have my back. that's something else to take comfort in.

-random thought of the day: Go out of the house every day.-

Quoting one of the catchphrases heard in some of my favourite final fantasy 14 youtuber's videos, "it's happening~!". my thesis passed the format check, so that's one hurdle down. the next step is to print 4 full copies, and prepare for official submission. checklist time!

- make some minor edits to chapter 5 and the contents page
- read through everything a final time and save the most updated versions into PDF format
- finish writing the research feedback
- save everything into a thumb drive (chapters, transcript, student bill, research feedback form and feedback itself)
- separately burn the chapters into a CD
- go to queensway for printing and binding (bring the thumbdrive!)
- submit 2 copies to the department office, 2 copies + bill + transcript + research feedback + CD to YIH
- kick back and wait for examiners' comments

the rough timeline that i've set myself is to settle everything within the next 7 days. printing and binding can be done by sunday (though i'm actually targeting by friday). submission will probably be on next monday or tuesday...maybe tuesday since i think that's when my next TCM appointment is. might as well get everything done in one swoop. plus, i've got a dinner appointment on that day, too. pretty sure i've got blank CDs somewhere, though i know that the CD/DVD burner on my desktop isn't working. may have to go to school to use my laptop instead. probably will schedule that on sunday, since parking's free. need to clear up my chemicals too, and take the portable bed back. been putting off those two things for unnecessarily long. all things considered, i should be in good time for the deadline.

my body's condition is generally improving. i seem to have shaken off the cold, though i'm still coughing a little. at least my nose is no longer blocked. i realize the fastest way to get rid of a cold/flu is to spend a couple of nights sleeping with the air-con off. that, and whack a few cold/flu panadol as and when required. the hotter-than-usual weather might have helped too. my knee is doing ok-ish, though it's starting to hurt a little more again. wonder why. it feels like the joint is misaligned. some of the pain has moved to my ankle, which makes going down stairs still not the most pleasant feeling in the world. am entertaining the idea of going to a chiropractor to get the joints of my right leg cracked back into place, but common sense tells me to wait until the ligaments don't hurt any more. guess i'll stick with TCM for now.

last you heard, i had dinner with the chemistry guys. it was nice, especially since one of them hasn't joined us for dinner in a long time. i don't quite understand why i'm so ok with revealing intimate information to them. we're talking stuff that would be inappropriate for polite conversation, and TMI even for most friends. the only other exception is probably scary JC friend, and a few big-brother figures. maybe it's because the one thing all these people have in common is that they don't judge me. like, one of the tamer things i told them was that thanks to the fiasco in june, i realize that i kind of enjoy biting people's necks and collarbones when getting physically intimate with them. not hard enough to draw blood, but definitely hard enough to leave marks. actually i kind of knew this beforehand, but the ex didn't like it, which is why i didn't really do it to them. this is more of reinforcement, maybe? i would not think of telling most other people that...though it looks like i just told all of you who are reading this post. ah well. anyway, we had very interesting conversation during and after dinner, and i had a good time overall despite feeling slightly under the weather. volunteered to send one of the guys home. he stays walking distance from the ex, so i'm very familiar with the roads near his place. we then spent a couple more hours talking under his block. i'm relieved that he doesn't seem as troubled as he previously was, but i think more human interaction out of work would be good for him. should schedule a dinner with him soon.

something significant happened to someone i love recently. it's a good thing, so i'm happy for them. yet, i'm slightly regretful that they don't love me back in the same way, which means that we will never progress beyond friends. but well, it's been 9 years, and we've come to a sort-of understanding after a period of friction and distance. i doubt they know exactly how much or how strongly i feel for them, though. but it's ok. i think the reason i'm still feeling so much for this person is because i know that they're a good person at heart, and that they won't abuse this hold that they have over me. either that, or they don't realize that they possess such great power. nevertheless, i'm happy that we text occasionally, and that things are good in general between us. of all the relationships in my life so far, this is probably the most unconditionally i've loved someone. i really want the best for them, regardless of whether it's with me or not. and if they asked me for help, i'd do it willingly with no expectation of any returns, except maybe continued friendship. long story short, this person is special to me, and i doubt that anyone else can replace them in my heart.

plan "healthy eating" is working well in general. been avoiding most processed foods, i've got lunchboxes of vegetable stew in the fridge and freezer, and will probably have to do one or two more rounds of cooking before my overseas trips. so far, the guideline is enough protein, more/unlimited fruits and vegetables, minimal to no carbs, no unhealthy snacks. it's working for the most part, except for my one weakness - chocolate. hey, every superhero has an achilles' heel right? ok, i kid. thankfully i'm more of a dark chocolate person, as it contains less sugar than milk chocolate and white chocolate (i hope). guess i have to limit my intake. i read somewhere that being too strict on yourself with regards to diet is counterproductive too.

i think that i should use this lull period to start some good habits. so far i've been working on my sleep schedule, though that's been slightly derailed by the additional fatigue caused by the cold. should start writing more too. maybe instead of a health/fitness blog, i'll do a health/fitness journal? might do me good to not be overly reliant on electronics. have i ever mentioned my weird obsession with notebooks? i've got 5-6 blank ones, bought mostly on impulse. should consider giving them away, especially since they're made of the typical lower quality u-zone paper. good enough for ballpoints, pencils, and gel pens, but not so much for water-based inks. or i could just use a pencil for those notebooks. but then i've got 8 mostly-full bottles of ink sitting in my drawer too. well, 7 practical ones, since one is invisible ink. planning on getting a more atas notebook(s?) soon. i realize as i progress on this pen journey, one unexpected criteria for pens is becoming increasingly important - ink capacity. from experience so far, i'm not really the type to change inks frequently, i'm also afraid of running out of ink halfway through writing, and i'm more often than not lazy to thoroughly clean out my pens. so taking those points into consideration, i've realized that pens with large ink capacities are more suited for my needs. remember that pen i was eyeing a couple of months ago? it holds 2.5 to 3mL of ink, depending on the model. that's a lot, considering most pens hold just about 1.5mL or less. the brand has another model (aptly named the "giraffe") that holds 6mL, but the required extra length makes it a little too unwieldy for everyday use. perhaps extra length is not always good after all? it's so tempting to get those pens! but they're insanely expensive. in time, i suppose, after i start work. delayed gratification and all that, not to mention i'm not exactly mr moneybags right now. good thing that i've got a decent variety in my existing "collection" to pick from, so that should stave off the cravings somewhat.

what's left of this week will probably be slack-ish too. will spend tomorrow making sure the thesis is perfect, and writing the research feedback. may drop by my aunt's place on friday to scan my bachelor's degree certificate for the application to a tuition centre. this weekend will be busy, for reasons mentioned earlier, plus the new reasons in this post (CD burning etc.). have to change indonesian rupiah with my friend, in preparation for the asian games. need to chase the agency for the J2 boy's payment, too. all in all, it looks like things will be picking up soon, so maybe i'd better enjoy my slack time as much as i can.

-random thought of the day: Be more meticulous when checking through the thesis!-

Nothing strikes dread and fear into a samsung note or tab user's heart more than the phrase "where's my damned s-pen?". it's not so bad for the note series, because there's a receptacle built into the phones, and the pen fits well in there unless the phone is dropped hard. for the tab series, in particular the galaxy tab s3, which i'm also using, the pen is loosely held on by its steel clip to magnetic strips on the tablet's cover. what annoys me is that the tablet has been with me to taiwan, uzbekistan, and jakarta since i got it, and the pen has returned safely home with me after all 3 trips. how did i manage to lose it between the car and house!?? retracing my steps from the day i lost it, i deduced that it could be in 2 possible locations: my room, or the car. within the room, it should be on my desk, or around/under my bed. i've looked in all those locations, and it's nowhere to be found. the other possibilities are that i dropped it on the way back from the carpark, or i accidentally threw it out during the massive cleaning exercise. or it might just be under my bed and resisting all my attempts to coax it out. whatever the case, i think i have to get a replacement. not that urgent since i don't foresee heavy tablet usage just yet, but probably something that i should do before the asian games. checking online shows that replacements go for upwards of $50. the price i pay for my carelessness/forgetfulness. might as well use the opportunity to search for different kinds of stylus (styluses? styli?); i saw one modelled after a staedtler pencil. although i don't think it has an eraser button, its advantage is that it's longer than the default model. more length is always good right? ...maybe let's not go there right now.

have a dinner appointment with the chemistry guys tonight. normally i'd be looking forward to it more, but i somehow came down with a cold/flu yesterday. all the usual symptoms - scratchy feeling in throat/nose, blocked nose which also runs, headache which feels like pressure above my eyes...sucks, all of it. counting yesterday as when the symptoms manifested, than means i was exposed to the virus on...wednesday-ish. that lines up with when i met some of the judo elders for dinner. don't recall anyone being sick that night, so maybe it was just something in the air between then and yesterday. whatever it is, i hope i shake it off soon. would be terrible to be sick while overseas.

there's some developments in tuition as well. i've got a new boy, who's in sec 3, and who is korean. was a little surprised when the agent said that the client (probably the father) requested 2 sessions a week, 1.5 hours each time. first of all, the kid's sec 3. it's only been half a year of content; i doubt that the school has covered a lot. second, when i talked to him, he seemed to have a good grasp of the content that his school did teach. i guess it's the asian kiasu mentality? i'd known china and japan to be study fanatics, but wasn't too sure about korea. apparently they might be, too. makes sense i suppose, given their geographical proximities to each other. VS boy is doing ok-ishly. have to get him to be sharper to spot what the questions want from him, and to break a few of his wrong habits for organic chem. no news from NYGH girl, so i'll just assume that that line is gone.

event forecast for this coming week: more slacking. need to get a few errands done, like sending a jacket for dry-cleaning, buying cold/flu panadol, and if the department administrator is finished with it, printing my thesis. it's been close to 2 weeks since i gave it to her for checking, hope she didn't forget. as far as i know, only about 3-4 other students have the same absolute deadline as me, and if we're equally kiasu, they'd have submitted before or at the same time as me. assuming one thesis takes 3 days of on-and-off checking to go through, 5 theses would take about 3 working weeks. so perhaps she's really not done yet. well, i'm fine with waiting a bit more. my absolute deadline is 04 august, which is thankfully before any of my travel plans. so even if she only clears me to print it the day before, i still have enough time to react. doubt that she'll wait that long though. other events include my JC friend's wedding dinner this saturday (another reason why i need to get better fast, and remember the red packet!), and before that, meeting yet another JC friend for lunch and to pass him something. there's supposed to be tuition with the korean kid, though i seriously don't think he needs it at this point in time. we'll see how things develop there.

i keep forgetting - i'm supposed to blog about more philosophical topics. the talk with my dad, my thoughts on marriage and kids, my ideal partner, and maybe making a spin-off fitness blog, for more detailed tracking once i start the gym routine. that'll be private, of course. though i haven't had much luck with maintaining blogs aside from this one...there was a jokes/nonsense blog with my cousin back in secondary school or JC, a JC class blog which died as soon as we graduated, and a japanese blog during undergrad days which was basically a version of this blog, but less detailed and in japanese, to help me use the language more. so...yes. this blog has outlived all of those other attempts by a wide margin. in fact, we're coming up on a special anniversary in about a week, or slightly more. i'll blog about it on the day itself. for now, time to rot for a little while longer, then head down to suntec. must remember to buy flu medication along the way.

-random thought of the day: Damned flu.-

While the massage therapist was tenderizing me during TCM treatment yesterday, she said that i had a lot of "wet heat" in my body, and that i was more afraid of heat than cold. being impressed at the accuracy of her observations, i asked how she knew. she said that when she did cupping for me, the areas of my body which the cups were on turned dark. that's a sign of "wetness", apparently. she also asked if i slept well every night, and was surprised when i told her i did in general. so much for that statement. for the first time in a while, i woke up twice in the middle of the night last night. the first time was after a dream of the ex. details escape me, but i know the dream wasn't pleasant. the second dream has completely faded from my memory, but it wasn't nice either. me and my big mouth, for bragging about my ability to sleep uninterrupted!

nothing much has happened over the past 2 days. massive room cleaning exercise on monday, then TCM yesterday. threw out a lot of stuff, and cleaned up a lot of dust, which made my nose run as usual. i don't get where all the dust comes from! my windows are always closed, so it's not blowing in from there. maybe the gap under my door? i think my air circulator causes negative pressure inside the room, so things get sucked in. but so much? i'm quite high up (10th floor) so it's quite scary to think of how much dust there is on lower floors. still need to organize my desk. you know what they say, a messy desk indicates a messy mind, or something like that.

also on sunday, i went to sit in on some emergency preparedness training, which is another branch of the work that the safety company does. it's also why i was out of the house so early on sunday, because the training started at 9:30am. after sitting in, i think i'm more suited to chemical and fire safety, after all, i have the relevant knowledge already. not that i can't do the emergency preparedness stuff, but it'll require more catch-up work. don't know if the boss will have training engagements for me, but we'll see. as for the other job opportunities, i just sent my resume to the other tuition centre. hope that goes through. there's one agency which i signed up with a while back, which just offered me an assignment. sec 3 chem, twice a week. not bad. but the agent told me that the commission would be half of the first 8 lessons. the normal practice is half of the first four lessons, or all of the first two lessons, same difference. so it didn't make sense why he was charging double the commission. when i asked him about it, he immediately said that he'd lower it to match the prevailing rate. i wonder, was he trying to pull a fast one on me? based on that, i'm not too keen to take up assignments from this guy any more. but let's see how the first session goes this saturday.

hmm. i think that's all for now. the past couple of days (well the past week, really) have (has) been quite relaxing. doing my best to eat healthy by lowering carbohydrate intake, and increasing that of fruits and vegetables. still succumbing to the occasional sweet treat here and there, but even then, there's been an overall decrease. could be better, though. need to control more, especially since i can't do vigorous exercise yet. just finished making a big pot of stew. didn't have stuff burning to the bottom of the pot this time. i think the weight of the cabbage squashed the onions, plus the higher heat used for pressure cooking caused the burning last time. have to start planning an itinerary for australia, and clean up my chemicals in lab. got a dinner appointment at bras basah complex later at 6:30pm, so i should leave the house by...5:15pm. am going to use public transport, since ERP and parking charges there are crazy. it probably won't take that long to go down, but i do want to stop by the pen shop there for a little while, just to browse. i wonder if they'll get annoyed if i try pens out, but don't buy any?

-random thought of the day: When you put someone up on a pedestal, you force them to look down on you.-

An askreddit question i remember reading goes something like "who was the toughest teacher you had and why?" one of the responses had a quote from a teacher which went something like, "i will move mountains to help you understand the material and achieve a passing grade, but i will not pass you out of sympathy". i can understand that better now. for the past 3 weeks, i've been giving people chances to do something that will benefit them. i even changed the dates to suit their schedules, postponed the event when they weren't ready, and basically bent over backwards for them. even when i told them today was the absolute last deadline, people still skipped it. well, i decided to hell with it. i shouldn't have to beg them to do something that is good for them. it's tiring, you know? i will help people if they show interest and commitment. i'm not even asking for gratitude. just interest and commitment. everyone's interested in the prize, but not everyone wants to put in the work for it. actions have consequences.

just for fun (and to prevent myself from thinking unpleasant thoughts), i think i'm going to come up with a few lists of qualities that i'd want and not want in my future date.

absolute deal-breakers
- smoking
- gambling excessively
- taking drugs
- lying (including cheating)
- promiscuity after getting together
- being manipulative

compromisable things
- diet choices (eg. vegan, alcohol)
- texting/dating frequency (within limits)
- living arrangements in future

good to have, but not essential
- wears glasses
- in good shape (i can't demand what i don't have)
- wants to work out together (even dragging me to the gym)
- capable of holding a conversation
- even-tempered

must-haves
- honest
- loving/affectionate
- understands me
- reasonable, maybe even accommodating

sorry, the writing mood kind of evaporated as i was halfway through the list. guess i'm tired from being out of the house for close to 12 hours today. i expect that the list will continue to grow and be refined in future, or i may become so desperate that it just gets reduced to "wants me". i hope not though. i'll add on to this post next time. 2 things that didn't go through today are going back to the lab (my senior didn't need the droppers from my side any more), and oyster omelette (they took an impromptu 2-day break). maybe i'll go down for it on tuesday, after TCM. i'm feeling some other joints becoming sore, so i might need some other adjustments. hopefully none will involve needles. tomorrow looks like a slack day, so i'm planning to have a cooking/cleaning day. my room is kind of a mess. all in all, i have to be productive, now that thesis is no longer looming over me.

-random thought of the day: My Australia visa got approved!-

Progress and plans are the P-words that sum up this past week for me. as you'd know, my thesis has been submitted for the format check, which is the first step in the submission process. another form of progress is that my knee is healing. i can bend it past 90 degrees, to maybe about 120 degrees now. still can't sit in seiza just yet, but if this rate of healing keeps up, i should be in decent shape by august. can feel the strain shifting to the outer side of the knee, and to the ankle as well. should bring that up to the physician on my next visit, which i think is...tuesday afternoon? lucky they have a whatsapp reminder service, so i don't miss appointments due to forgetfulness.

i am grateful that i was smart enough to get an accident insurance plan, because this qualifies as an accident, and the treatment costs are therefore claimable under the policy. i just met up with my agent taking care of my accident plan (who is also my cousin) earlier this morning to pass him the receipts and stuff. it's spending a small-ish amount to avoid losing a bigger amount in the future. thank goodness too; TCM treatment is surprisingly costly. i wonder if my previous treatments back in JC were claimed. doubtful, as i don't think i had an accident plan then. if there's only one thing you take away from this post, i hope it's that you get yourself insured, especially as you grow older.

when i said that plans were one of the P-words, i didn't specifically mean insurance plans. but i see that it worked out. i was actually referring to work and travel plans. let's do work first. out of the 5 job offers i listed in the last post, the lab officer one has fallen through. someone else got hired. no biggie. the J2 kid has also decided to discontinue tuition with me. i don't understand why people can't be more truthful. as i left his place, both he and his mother were like "see you next week!". then the very next morning, the agency tells me that they want to stop. maybe they made that decision after i left, but whatever. something interesting and unexpected really set me off though. apparently there was some miscommunication or something, because the kid's mother didn't believe that i was a grad student. i had an idea that she'd be a little difficult, because she requested that i bring my degree certificate for her to see on the first session. although tutors are obligated to do that (upon clients' request) under the terms and conditions of the tuition centre, she's the first client i know to actually exercise that right. the thing is, she didn't confront me directly about my educational qualifications, and fed back to the tuition centre that she thought that i was only applying for a graduate program, when the reality is that i'm about to finish a graduate program. what REALLY triggered me was that the tuition centre doubted me as well based on her words. sigh. to be fair to the centre though, they were really supportive after the misunderstanding was cleared up, and said that they would transfer half the fees to me. perhaps i didn't make a good first impression, or my teaching style really didn't match the kid's learning style. oh well. at least i earned $52.5 for that session, which becomes $50 after subtracting about $2 for parking. so it's not all bad. still have to email one more tuition centre and sit in on a safety training session tomorrow. hopefully something more productive will come out of those opportunities.

there was a bit of a lull in travel plans after all the kurash-related events, but i'm going to be travelling again next month! to two destinations, no less. first is to perth to see chemical engineer cousin and my online gaming friend, which i think i've mentioned before. there were some changes in the flight prices, so i'm now set to be there from 10 to 19 august. 10 days might be a little too long, but i'm arriving at night on the 10th, so that's effectively one day gone. i figure that i'll have to budget my time well. maybe 6 days with my cousin and cousin-in-law, 3 days with my friend. or 5:4, even. depends on the itinerary and which attractions we're visiting, i think. so far i've looked on tripadvisor as per my cousin's recommendation, and a couple of things have caught my eye. should discuss that in detail with her soon. i'm excited, yet a little nervous. hope that i won't overstay my welcome.

my second destination is jakarta (again), for the asian games. it gives me some sense of satisfaction to know that i am representing singapore at a higher level then the people of the judo federation would ever let me. and yes, i can base this argument upon facts. #1: they won't reinstate my national referee license, despite me writing in twice to ask. #2: the highest level of competition to which continental-level referees have gone is the SEA games. so all i can say to the federation is...SUCK IT that it's their loss. i'll definitely invest more into kurash refereeing, because the opportunities are more freely available. it's a long shot, but i hope that i can referee in the olympics someday.

had wanted to go back to the lab tonight to clean up the portable bed and stash it in my car, while also getting some glass droppers for my senior before going to jalan berseh food centre for the famous oyster omelette. but the fact that it started to rain monkeys and elephants killed those plans. i'm not about to drive in wet weather...don't want to tempt fate. i figure that i'll just go to lab earlier tomorrow to do those 2 tasks (plus it's free parking all day on sundays!). tomorrow is kind of a busy day, actually. lab visit and safety course sit-in in the morning, followed by tuition, then kurash. not sure if NYGH girl wants tuition or not, but i'm assuming no unless she gets in touch with me. it's a loss in income, but at least she's up to date on her payments. thinking of heading down for oyster omelette after training (the stall only opens after 6:00pm), but let's see how things go. given what we're doing for training tomorrow, i may not have the mood for it in the end.

-random thought of the day: Need to prepare for tomorrow.-

"やっとできた! (Yatto dekita!)" translates to "[it's] finally done!". and by "it", i mean my thesis. well, perhaps "done" may not be the right word to use, since there's still examiners' comments to go, but i initiated the submission procedure today, which is a huge step forward! had a minor hiccup in that being my usual blind self, i conveniently didn't read that apart from the thesis itself, we were required to submit the submission form and a copy of the unofficial transcript at the same time. so there was a mild scramble as i went back to lab to print those two things and get my professor's signature. now that it's july, i didn't renew my season parking in NUS. after all, i don't foresee myself going back very often, unless i have to do supplementary lab work...which is a problem i'll tackle as and when it comes up. but yes. i spent 20-ish to 30 minutes in lab, and got charged close to $2 for that amount of time. happens when parking goes for 8 cents a minute. thankfully, NUS staff/season carparks have 15-minute grace periods, so i managed to dodge paying anything for the rest of the time i spent there. the trick is to have ≤15-minute bursts of activity, then move the car...although 15 minutes is cutting it super close. another trick is to park anywhere with impunity after 7:30pm, but that's not possible when the people i need to see operate on office hours. i'll have to wait for the department administrator to finish her check, then get back to me before i print copies of the official full version. wonder how long it'll take. by this week would be best, but i'm ok as long as it doesn't drag past the 15th. have to check what i need to bring for the formal submission. student bill and research feedback form, plus a CD copy of the thesis, off the top of my head. will confirm closer to the deadline.

what else is new since the last post? my knee feels better. this week is the third week after the injury, and also my third TCM session. this week's session was a little better than the last. they said that the swelling's gone down, which is a good sign. still don't like them doing acupuncture around the knee joint, though. i can bend it slightly more than 90 degrees now, which is progress. it's led to some secondary injuries, like there's a ligament on top of my foot that feels sore because it's compensating for the knee. guess i'll stick on more medicated plasters. one stupid thing i've done twice so far is get on my bed the wrong way, most recently tonight. if i wasn't injured, what i'd normally do is put a bent knee on the bed while reaching for something over on the far end. and being right-handed, i'd naturally favour my right knee. damned muscle memory. the jolt of pain that follows is a swift reminder of why i shouldn't do that. the physician also recommended that i wear shoes for walking about outdoors, as they support the heel better than slippers and reduce strain on that particular ligament that's sore. but slippers are so comfortable! sigh. i'm hoping that i'll be better by end-august, really. this is a serious wrench in my plans. but of all the recent injury cases in the past month or so, mine's relatively minor. that's saying something in itself, right? we've had an ankle fracture and a suspected torn meniscus as the forerunners for worst injury, so i should count my blessings. to be very honest though, i'm feeling a little upset/resentful towards the coach. the injury happened because he asked (forced) me to fight two consecutive matches. i was tired out by the end of the first bout and wanted to rest, but he kind of pressured me into it. i guess i'm to blame too, for not sticking to my guns. guess i just want a scapegoat. regardless, i think that i should know my own limits next time. i know that i haven't been sparring for too long when the kids were surprised to learn how the injury came about.

job offers are coming in! well, part-time jobs, anyway. let's do a quick rundown of the ones i have so far:
teaching safety courses - ad-hoc, weekday nights (to be confirmed tomorrow)
private tuition - ongoing, 3 students so far
learning lab - potential job, to be confirmed soon
other tuition centre - will start in september earliest
school lab officer - temporary, 2 months (unsure)

i'm hoping that the safety course thing goes through, and that assignments will come in fairly frequently from that end. private tuition is ok, and has been helping to defray my costs for the past few months. need to talk more in detail about that soon. there are 2 tuition centres on the list, first of which is the learning lab. apparently my dad has a contact in there, so we'll see. the other centre is recommended by one of the chemistry guys, and i'll be teaching lower secondary MATHS. if you know me to a decent degree, you'll know why that is uncharacteristic of (and quite terrifying for) me. well...i don't know. i might not take that job, because there's a 2-year contract involved. last on the list is the lab officer thing. it's for a secondary school, and recommended by an old chem teacher. unfortunately it's not in/for cat high. the job scope involves preparing solutions and apparatus. stuff that i've done countless times before. my teacher even said that i was overqualified, but hey, if it pays, why not?

private tuition is becoming less and less appealing. i guess as i get older, the generation gap becomes more apparent. and isn't it something that people who are younger than me go for? like undergrads, or guys who've finished NS and are waiting for university. perhaps i should stop it by the end of this year. after all, i don't have a continuity plan. my current students are sec 4 and J2, which means that i don't have anyone to "follow up" next year. which is good as well, if my decision is to quit. the weird thing is, given that i have a degree in chemistry, i should be able to handle A-level stuff. but as you know, i'm a synthetic chemist. today's first session with a J2 boy didn't go as smoothly as i'd planned, especially when he asked about ionic equilibria. his feedback to me was that i should try to teach more according to what he learns in school, and explain things more clearly. i accept the latter bit, because i do admit that i assumed that he knew more than he actually did. but to teach according to how his school does? short of crashing and sneaking into lectures, i don't see how i'm going to do that. nevertheless, he has a point. tuition is for the student's benefit, after all. and i should really revise my physical chem.

due in part to the recent injuries, and in part to people having regular work/school lives, kurash hasn't been seeing much progress in recent months. we did have a short meeting with a potential sponsor, but i quite doubt that he and his company are on board. at this rate, both me and another guy are afraid that we may lose the momentum that we'd built since the start of the year. but then again, that momentum was "artificial", in a way, or unsustainable. the reason we had it was because there were several international events lined up over a relatively short period, so people were excited to jump on the bandwagon. but now that that's faded, everyone's kind of lost enthusiasm. the problem is, this is the time when we need even more enthusiasm, to make sure that it doesn't die out. that friend and i projected the worst case is that we're reduced to just refereeing. the reason i say this is because i won't let the thing die completely, not after what we've accomplished in such a short time. i figured that since judo is more or less a dead end as long as the current people remain in power, i'll earn my international accreditation in kurash. but well, we'll monitor it for a few more months. hopefully someone has an idea how to make it work.

there's more i want to blog about, including a talk which my dad had with me this past sunday. i know he means well, but there are certain things that he said with which i disagreed. more on that in the next post, i guess. perth plans, too. still haven't done the tripadvisor thing yet, but i reckon that i should have more free time to do it now.

-random thought of the day: Is this the first time I've used "reckon" here?-