Deep down in my mind, tucked away in some obscure corner, are facts that i know are important, but tend to overlook. things like "sleep is important", for instance. fortunately, my body has inbuilt mechanisms to remind me of that. unfortunately, the way it manifests may not always be the best. going back to about this time last week, i told L that my sleep was suffering because he was staying up late to game. the problem comes about because we sleep in the same room. even if i go to sleep earlier, his entrance will wake me up - it's been proven multiple times. on friday, he played until late again, despite me reminding him to come in early earlier in the night. that led to him waking me up as he came in, me being upset, not being able to sleep until 2:30am or so, feeling dead tired during tuition classes and generally being in a foul mood all day yesterday. i crawled into bed at about 10pm and woke up this morning feeling much better.
during the worst of it, i found myself wondering why he couldn't do something so simple and reasonable. it wasn't like i was asking him to sleep at 9pm, right? the thought that he was being selfish also came to my mind. see, i have to wake up at 7:30 to be in the office by 9-ish. even if i work from home, i've to be online by 9. whereas he typically leaves the house by 1 to reach his workplace at 3:30. so staying up late affects him less, because he can sleep in the next morning while i don't have that luxury. also, the game can be suspended in idle mode and battle is turn-based, so there's no excuse about needing to find a save point or anything like that. anyway, i hope he got the message. i am happy to be accommodating for most things, but there are some things - like sufficient hours of quality sleep - that i cannot compromise on.
as much as i hate to admit it, the thought of breaking up did come to mind. i think having thoughts but not acting on them is ok - that's being human, after all. but i also know that there are things that are not worth breaking up over...at least, not at the first instance. i think that this is something that can be solved by various means, with the least extreme being L takes what i said to heart and tries to sleep earlier; and the most extreme (just a step below breaking up) being that i move out.
one good thing that came out of this whole thing was that in my sleep-deprived state of mind, i went to read up on getting a HDB flat as a single. so it seems that i'm eligible for $40 000 in grants, because i'm earning more than $4500 a month. my research also turned up that the minimum down payment is 20%, so if i'm looking at a $500 000 flat (highly possible, given property prices), i'm expecting to pay $100 000 up front. as for flat type, i think a 3-room would be ideal if L wants to move in with me. that way, he can have a private space too. as for location, i'm thinking of somewhere in the east. not only is it near to work, i can visit my aunt more easily too! just doing some idle browsing, i've found a few flats that look good, but i haven't done detailed research yet. at least it gave me an idea of the price ranges in areas i'n interested in!
going back to first principles though...is it a good idea to buy a place? after all, i'm not going to leave it to anyone. google tells me that assuming i have no living immediate family, the flat goes back to the government. in that case, the logical thing to do would be to still have outstanding debt on the flat when i pass. but that's not possible because of the term of the housing loan. the next-best alternative is to have as little of the lease remaining as possible. i might consider the lease buyback scheme, but that's or way future me to think about. also, who knows? the schemes may have changed by that time. the main thing that scares me about buying a flat is that i'll go into huge debt. i'm not sure if it's me trying to convince myself, but i had the odd thought that going into debt would give me more motivation to work!
well, that's all still somewhat in the future...though it's drawing closer. i think the logical thing to do would be to wait until september, when i should hopefully be confirmed. i'll start looking in earnest after confirmation. it also seems that i may not need to wait for 12 months after starting work, because i don't qualify for that particular grant anyway! for now, i'll just keep doing my best for work. this past week was a little demoralizing, because my cases were below my mentor's expectations. guess i need more practice. on the bright side, i feel like i've improved in my writing style and way of thinking/approaching a case. while there is still a long way to go, i think i should also acknowledge how far i've come. go me! hopefully more things will click this week, and i'll get even better.
-random thought of the day: Early bedtime!-
