Every time i've tried to blog for the past few days, things have come up one by one to stand in my path. be it NYAA or sleepiness, the bottom line is that i've missed writing about some important dates and i'm lagging in updates. let's not waste time, and get right to it.

number one. NYAA. finally, at long last, that monster is over and done with. thank goodness. while i'd love to say it was worth the effort, i honestly can't say that until i've actually seen the award in my hands. so, i'll just shut up about it for now. all i'll say is that i'm really relieved that it's over, and that i'm awaiting feedback for my report.

next up, i missed one very important date, which is the 27th of july. this date is significant as it's my blog's 3rd birthday. hard to imagine that i've been blogging for something like 3 years now, isn't it? oh well. i realize that i still haven't made the switch to capitalizing everything properly. but oh well. nobody's complaining right?

third thing. i've been listening to some old (and i mean REALLY old) music. funnily enough, i happen to like one song a lot. the lyrics are as follows:

Billy Joel - We Didn't Start The Fire

Harry Truman, Doris Day, Red China, Johnny Ray
South Pacific, Walter Winchell, Joe DiMaggio

Joe McCarthy, Richard Nixon, Studebaker, Television
North Korea, South Korea, Marilyn Monroe

Rosenbergs, H Bomb, Sugar Ray, Panmunjom
Brando, The King And I, and The Catcher In The Rye

Eisenhower, Vaccine, England's got a new queen
Maciano, Liberace, Santayana goodbye

We didn't start the fire
It was always burning
Since the world's been turning
We didn't start the fire
No we didn't light it
But we tried to fight it

Joseph Stalin, Malenkov, Nasser and Prokofiev
Rockefeller, Campanella, Communist Bloc

Roy Cohn, Juan Peron, Toscanini, Dancron
Dien Bien Phu Falls, Rock Around the Clock

Einstein, James Dean, Brooklyn's got a winning team
Davy Crockett, Peter Pan, Elvis Presley, Disneyland

Bardot, Budapest, Alabama, Khrushchev
Princess Grace, Peyton Place, Trouble in the Suez

We didn't start the fire
It was always burning
Since the world's been turning
We didn't start the fire
No we didn't light it
But we tried to fight it

Little Rock, Pasternak, Mickey Mantle, Kerouac
Sputnik, Chou En-Lai, Bridge On The River Kwai

Lebanon, Charles de Gaulle, California baseball
Starkwether, Homicide, Children of Thalidomide

Buddy Holly, Ben Hur, Space Monkey, Mafia
Hula Hoops, Castro, Edsel is a no-go

U2, Syngman Rhee, payola and Kennedy
Chubby Checker, Psycho, Belgians in the Congo

We didn't start the fire
It was always burning
Since the world's been turning
We didn't start the fire
No we didn't light it
But we tried to fight it

Hemingway, Eichman, Stranger in a Strange Land
Dylan, Berlin, Bay of Pigs invasion

Lawrence of Arabia, British Beatlemania
Ole Miss, John Glenn, Liston beats Patterson

Pope Paul, Malcolm X, British Politician sex
J.F.K. blown away, what else do I have to say

We didn't start the fire
It was always burning
Since the world's been turning
We didn't start the fire
No we didn't light it
But we tried to fight it

Birth control, Ho Chi Minh, Richard Nixon back again
Moonshot, Woodstock, Watergate, punk rock

Begin, Reagan, Palestine, Terror on the airline
Ayatollah's in Iran, Russians in Afghanistan

Wheel of Fortune, Sally Ride, heavy metal, suicide
Foreign debts, homeless Vets, AIDS, Crack, Bernie Goetz

Hypodermics on the shores, China's under martial law
Rock and Roller cola wars, I can't take it anymore

We didn't start the fire
It was always burning since the world's been turning.
We didn't start the fire
But when we are gone
It will still burn on, and on, and on, and on...

We didn't start the fire
It was always burning
Since the world's been turning
We didn't start the fire
No we didn't light it
But we tried to fight it

We didn't start the fire
It was always burning
Since the world's been turning
We didn't start the fire
No we didn't light it
But we tried to fight it

We didn't start the fire
It was always burning
Since the world's been turning
We didn't start the fire...

the reason i like it so much is because it's got a real catchy tune. i'm still having trouble committing the lyrics to memory though. maybe if i'd been introduced to this song in sec 4, my history would have been an A1 instead of an A2...or not. the next song is from Kingdom Hearts 2, my newest permanently-attached RPG.

Utada Hikaru - Passion
(wonk uoy naht niotceffa erom deen I)

Omoidaseba haruka haruka
Mirai wa doko mademo kagayaiteta
Kirei na aozora no shita de
Bokura wa sukoshi dake obieteita

Natsukashii iro ni
Mado ga somaru

Mae wo muitereba mata aemasu ka
Mirai wa doko edemo tsudzuiterunda
Ookina kanban no shita de
Jidai no utsuroi wo miteitai na


Hitoshirezu
My heart's a battleground
(snoitome owt deen I)
(wonk uoy naht niotceffa erom deen I)
(snoitome owt deen I)

Nido to aenu hito ni basho ni
Mado wo akeru

Omoidaseba haruka haruka
Mirai wa doko mademo kagayaiteta
Kirei na aozora no shita de
Bokura wa itsu mademo nemutteita

(All my fears and all our lies)

Aozora no shita...

Translation
If I recall, far far away
The future was shining on everywhere
Beneath the beautiful blue sky
We were just a little afraid

The window will be tinted
A nostalgic color

If we advance forth, can we ever meet again?
The future goes on to everywhere
Beneath the large signboard
I want to keep watching the eras changing

Hidden away
My heart's a battleground
(snoitome owt deen I)
(wonk uoy naht niotceffa erom deen I)
(snoitome owt deen I)

I will open a window
To the people and places I can't see again

If I recall, far far away
The future was shining on everywhere
Beneath the beautiful blue sky
We were slumbering forever

(All my fears and all our lies)

Beneath the blue sky...

Funny thing about Utada Hikaru songs is that the translation of the japanese version has a completely different meaning from the english one. maybe it's not unique to her, but she's one of the people with this habit that has left the greatest impression on me. as of now, i haven't decided which version i like better yet, unlike for Hikari (another song) when i knew i liked the japanese version better the first time i heard it.

something's up with blogger. i think they changed the post editor a little, because some of my old posting tricks don't work any more. oh well. time to learn to adapt i guess.

also, my replacement mp3 player is here!! yays. i hope it's silver, or at least black. i'd specified that it was either that or nothing. well, at any rate, i'll find out what colour it is tomorrow when i go and collect it. i'm not at all looking forward to re-uploading my collection of songs (numbering close to 500) on it, because i think it'll take forever and a day to complete.

umm...yes. that's all i have for now. something in my bones (or rather, in my phone) tells me monday is going to be a horrible day.

-random thought of the day: Now to focus on studies.-

If i've said it once, i've said it a million times. NYAA is a total BITCH!!!!!! i swear, i want to kick their asses so hard they won't stop bleeding for a month. anyways, the reason i'm feeling so pissed off is because i'm behind time. REALLY behind time. so far, i've done my residential project, expedition, and sports reports, and i'm halfway through with my skills one now. that just leaves the service section, which has to be done by wednesday night. oh noes. sometimes i ask myself: why the hell am i doing this? then, i figure out that i have no good answer to the question, so i continue doing it anyway.

i realize that i have to thank this blog a lot. that's because it's helped me to remember several important dates, such as my first training, grading, competition, etc. without those dates, i'd be screwed ten times over while writing the NYAA report.

that aside, i've heard that both SJI and CJC judo have new captains. interesting stuff. too bad i missed the training when their names were announced. otherwise i'd get to throw them a few extra times.

life is pretty boring now. somehow, there's no mood/motivation to blog. oh well. i hope it's temporary.

-random thought of the day: My schoolwork is suffering at my NYAA's expense.-

My sincere apologies for the lack of updates in the past 6 days. it's not that i didn't want to blog, it's just that there's been nothing exciting happening as of late. in fact, i might go as far as to say that it's been kind of boring.

i'm actually starting to worry a bit. it's mainly because my NYAA report is due at the end of the month. and there's lots of stuff to cover for that.

there's Judo finals tomorrow. i think we may be let off early to lend our support. yays. and i still have to go down to cat high to get some signatures for my nice NYAA booklet.

oh well. i honestly can't think of anything else which may be of interest to the average reader, so i'll just cut it here. i guess this is one of the shortest posts i've ever made.

-random thought of the day: Told you nothing interesting was going on...-

All my results have come back. for once, most of them exceeded my expectations/predictions. if current results stand (i.e. no calculation errors and other stuff like that), then i have obtained a B B C E C5, which is slightly better than my forecasted A C E D C5/B4, so i'm not complaining much. it's actually pretty stunning to get a B and C for physics and econs respectively, especially when you compare my grade to the amount of time spent studying instead of slacking off. i still feel rather annoyed with myself for not making it A B C E (or A A A A for that matter, heh). oh well, what's done is done. at least my PTM won't reflect too badly on myself.

so, what else has been in the news as of late? let's see, france lost the world cup finals. i don't believe it. they should have won! too bad Italy has such a good keeper in Buffon, and the clown (Trezeguet, i think) missed the penalty. oh well. i guess there's always 2010. too bad some players will have retired by then. i am actually quite happy that germany beat portugal. hopefully they perform better next time.

oh. something has got me kind of irritated. turns out my mp3 player is being replaced. sadly, all they have is red, green, dark blue and orange. not too much (or too fantastic) of a choice. so, i've decided to wait it out a bit longer. and it doesn't stop there. that means once the new player is in my hands, i'm going to have to re-upload all 480+ songs again. just imagine how long that's going to take. horror of horrors.

competition's tomorrow. we're facing NY. i think it'll be easy pickings for the guys. too bad i'm not allowed to skip school to support them. here's hoping they win.

-random thought of the day: Me = sleepy.-

Looks like my wish has come true, in a twisted karma cycle-y sort of way. turns out i didn't make the team for nationals. while i'm not exactly happy or unhappy about it, it does mean that i'll now have more time to focus on studies. but i can't help but feel a little bummed that i won't get to represent the school and earn glory for the team. oh well. not like this is the first time anyway. might as well get used to it and channel all that spare time into more productive stuff. besides, no judo for a while might help me distance myself from some of the sources of the (most probably imagined) problems in my life.

you know, for the past few days, i've been having all kinds of weird dreams. from scary stuff like narrowly escaping a serial killer, to totally crazy things like putting someone older than myself through university (apparently i'm a rich kid in this particular dream), or meeting some people whom i haven't seen in a while. maybe it's a sign. either that, or my imagination's working overtime, even while i'm asleep. i'm thinking its most probably because i'm too tired out. long school hours after a month of slackness tend to do that to a person.

and speaking of people i haven't seen in a while, i went back to cat high yesterday to pay everyone a visit. there's something about the school compound that has this nice, great calming effect on me. no matter how badly my life's screwed up, i just forget all of it and smile when i step through the green gates. i think it's because of the place's familiarity. but that's changing too. on my trip there, i saw fountains and waterfalls that were previously nonexistent, and some of the old hidden corners where i used to hang out have suddenly become less hidden, or even completely exposed. it's actually quite nice, but sadly, there are some...umm...disagreements under the surface...internal politics stuff which i habitually stay far far away from. negative things aside, it felt good to talk to a few teachers. too bad i chose the wrong day to go back, as quite a few members of the staff were visiting other school for the MOE excel thing. oddly enough, all of the people i talked to remembered me. guess i left a deeper impression than i'd thought. don't know if it's positive or negative, but i'll just settle for the former. too bad a good number of my old teachers have left though; i'd really like to meet some of them now.

lastly, i'm not exactly feeling at the top of the world now. it's more of an equator thing. not too happy, not too sad. not too angry, not too calm. not thinking too much, not thinking too little. perfectly centred. and that's good. i should try and feel like this more often.

-random thought of the day: Econs, how do I loathe thee? Let me count the ways...-

"Brother, it's 'wake up your idea' time."

for some reason, that line just popped into my head as i was walking home. i suppose it's due to the sucky mid-year results that have came back so far (more on that later). either that, or it's this odd feeling of inadequacy i get while training. i don't know why, but i'm not exactly looking forward to making the team for the competition. well, part of me wants to fight and hopefully gain some glory for the school, but another part of me would rather stay in the sidelines and not compete at all. it's kind of...well, nonsensical, especially since i've spent the last 1.5 years training for the sole purpose of being ready (both physically and mentally) for competition. sadly, i don't think i'm ready yet, in both aspects. i think i need to talk to someone about this.

and now, for the mid-years. contrary to my previous thoughts, "screwed" doesn't even begin to cover it. so far, i know my chem and maths marks, as well as my econs MCQ result. as ashamed as i am to admit it, this is the first time in my JC career i have scored anything lower than an A for chem. if i had remembered to write reaction conditions, and named the reactions and mechanisms properly, i could have boosted my 64 to around a 71 or 72, which really hurts now, come to think of it. as for maths, my prediction was accurate. i got 45, which is an E on the dot. based on how much i studied, i'm actually quite content with this mark. that means i have a B and an E under my belt. one thing i am happy about is my econs MCQ. 17/20. not too shabby, if i do say so myself. especially when i was expecting a 12 or less. based on that, i'm thinking my econs may scrape a C, or a B if lady luck works in my favour. we haven't heard anything for physics and GP, so my predictions still stand. either a C or D, and either C5 or B4. i'll post updates as results come in.

you know, it's kind of funny. you yearn for school to reopen during the holidays, but when school actually does restart, you suddenly can't wait for the next long break. humans are fickle in that way i guess. after much thought (and too much free time), i think i've figured out why this behavious occurs. my theory is that we only focus on the positives (like seeing friends in school, or having slack time in the holidays). we miss it so much to the extent where we overlook the negative aspects (long hours in school, too much slack time during holidays). it's only when we are actually in the scenario when we get reminded of both the good and the bad, and we then find ourselves wanting to be in the opposite case. then, a vicious cycle is established, and we're never really happy with our lives, which is not at all good for health.

on tuesday, i got reminded of something. you see, i had a funny dream over the holidays. in the dream, i was being chased all over the school (oddly enough, the school looked more like cat high than CJC) by an unidentifiable teacher because i didn't do some work or some crap like that. anyways, i went into LT4 on tuesday for the GP lecture, i suddenly realized who i was running from that time. turns out it was Mr Kwan, who was lecturing that day. i honestly have no idea what that dream was about, especially as he doesn't even teach me. heck, i don't think he even knows my name! maybe it was the manifestation of all the guilt from putting studying off to the last possible minute.

anyway, here's my 2 cents' worth on the world cup. germany's out. i'm sad. as a result, i'm supporting france this time round. somehow, i don't think the mafia can help italy all the way to victory. my prediction for the finals is france will beat italy by one goal, be it 1-0 or 2-1. i'm just hoping germany gets 3rd.

oh. the national schools draw is out. we're facing NY first, which is slightly better than facing raffles or HC (which are facing each other instead, yays!). so at least one tough opponent is eliminated, which brings us that much closer to the trophy.

and that's just about all i have for now. i think i'll go to school early tomorrow to do up my econs table thing, seeing as i've brilliantly left my notes in school.

-random thought of the day: Less than a week to competition!-

Nothing makes you dread going back to school like a long weekend/holiday. to be honest, i've pretty much forgotten what it feels like to be in school for the greater part of the day, but something tells me i'll be reminded real soon.

i don't feel like going back to school! one of the other reasons for my lack of enthusiasm for the re-starting of school is because i just sent my mp3 player for servicing, which means i'm music-less for a fortnight or more. how am i going to spend my wednesday afternoons in the library without music? sianness. well, at least my warranty covered all the costs, so it's no burden to my wallet. sad thing is, they told me they might just replace the entire player. so all my songs will be gone, and there might not be stock of the silver coloured ones any more. hmm...i'll just settle for black at worst. i just hope it won't be a choice between red and green or any sick colours like that.

somehow, i think some higher power is trying to give me a sign. it says that i'm not suited for competitive mahjong. when i'm playing for fun (no money involved), i can win the maximum amount possible. but when money comes into the picture, i'm not that lucky. even when it looks like i can win, something unexpected will happen, like forgetting to take extra tiles for flowers. kind of sucks when you realize that. but oh well. it's all fun in the end.

training tomorrow. what's more, it's after school. wonderfulness. oh well. nothing i'm not used to by now. though i think just school alone will be sufficient to kill me already. time to sleep.

-random thought of the day: I have great classmates!-