Starting my 2000th post by telling you all that i came close to a panic attack isn't very auspicious, but it is what it is. it was brought on by the fact that the IP firm i emailed didn't reply. granted, it's only been less than a day, so i suppose expecting a reply by now would be a little demanding. my head knows that, but my heart doesn't. so i'm trying to blog about it to put both my head and heart at ease.

after doing a bit more research on patent attorney qualification in australia, i noticed that the process is vastly different from singapore. there are no qualifying exams, for one. the requirement is to pass some courses in university, and to have work experience of a few years. the other formal requirement is a statement of skill from a registered attorney. downside is, there is a LOT to study, including trademark law, which is not a requirement for qualification in singapore. the more direct impact to me is that if i want to qualify in australia, i have to do a masters, and not just a graduate diploma. but there aren't any exams! so that's nice.

the process in singapore is a qualifying exam consisting of 4 papers, taken in any order. but each paper must be completed within a certain timeframe leading to the application for qualification (i think). IPOS has now made it a requirement for candidates to take either the grad certificate or masters, which means i'm scheduled to study regardless. as consolation, the qualifying exam in singapore only tests legal/IP matters...unlike japan, which tests technical knowledge as well. so if i were to work towards qualifying japan, my exam would include an oral exam about chemistry as well. as if doing it once for my defense wasn't bad enough, i'd probably have to do it in japanese! so japan is definitely a no-go.

news! the boss of the IP firm that i emailed replied. guess i was worrying too soon. the news in the email wasn't great, though. he very politely and kindly shut the door in my face, which wasn't wholly unexpected, but still feels bleh. interesting thing i learnt, patent attorneys are grouped with lawyers in terms of skills, not scientists or STEM professionals. good to know.

if i really, REALLY want to get into australia, there are 2 viable ways i can think of right now. first is via the study route. problem: cost. a masters in IP will set me back about AUD 44000 before any bursary or financial assistance. that would basically wipe out my entire savings, plus whatever i earn in japan. doesn't seem worth it at this point in time, but i'll see if that changes in the future.

method #2 is marriage to an australian citizen/PR. going by my social life so far, plus my vocal opposition to marriage, i doubt that'll happen. i mean, there are australian JETs in the prefecture, but i doubt any of them are gay and know of my existence. the plus side is australia recognizes same-sex marriage on the same level as opposite-sex "conventional" marriage, which means that if i did marry someone, i'd be entitled to apply for an australian visa as well. although it's basically not going to happen, i thought i'd just talk about it for fun, plus to publicize marriage equality in australia.

right now, it seems that my options are (in no particular order):

- work in singapore

- look for ways and means to get into australia

- work in japan (not in IP)

- work in a different industry altogether

i'm somewhat resigned to the fact that singapore may be the easiest way forward. that doesn't mean i'm giving up on opportunities in other countries, though. i'll email firms on and off, to see if there's any chance. i suppose i should also ask myself - of the two ways to qualify (australia vs singapore), which would i go for? right now, i'd say australia. having an australian qualification would make it easier to get qualified in singapore too (though i'd still have to take one exam in that route). we'll see how this thought changes as well.

what can i do to improve my odds? get familiar with the patent act, for one. it differs from country to country, but the basic ideas are the same. considering that singapore has a qualifying exam, i figure it's better if i studied the singapore act. it's about 180 pages long, meaning i can read it twice a year, assuming 1 page a day. that's not bad. the bad one is the patent examination guidelines, which is 496 pages last i checked. oops, no. it's 440 pages. better, but not by much. that's an additional goal for the remaining time on JET - to become familiar with the patents act.

that's all my thought for work-related things at this point. i am starting to get the feeling that i might be scheduling myself for too long in japan, which is mostly brought about by negative interactions with the kids over the past couple of weeks. doesn't help that the humidity has shot up, to the point where i feel sticky minutes after taking a shower. hopefully my mood gets better after summer!

-random thought of the day: Fix my sleep schedule!-

I'm a little upset with myself. so you may remember i was booking flights for my extended leave. i found a super good deal, tokyo to akita for 9700 yen. stupidly, i opted to reserve first, pay later as i was setting up flights for the entire trip. while ANA sent me reminders to pay for my other 2 flights (booked at regular rates), they didn't send me a reminder for the cheap one. and even sneakier, they set its payment deadline to be a day before the deadlines of other flights, despite me booking everything on the same day! so i missed it and had to rebook a seat ON THE SAME PLANE for 17000 yen. played right into their hands there. it's annoying, but in mitigation, it's not a problem. i can afford it (although it's unnecessary additional expenditure), and the most important thing is that i still managed to get a seat and didn't mess up my itinerary.

another lesson i learnt while making arrangements is not to overdo things. considering i only leave my remote area very infrequently, each departure is somewhat of a special occasion...and that makes me want to get the most of my time away. thinking like that puts me at risk of trying to do too much within a limited time. like, there was a point in my planning where i wanted to stop over in osaka for a few days too. but after some thought, i realized that it wouldn't be practical. besides, i'm due to renew my passport later in the year, which would entail a trip to osaka anyway! i figured i'd save osaka for then - make it a trip over the year-end break.

since i'm talking about things i've learnt, i was browsing for IP firms in osaka, because that's where i'd like to live in japan. there was a japanese firm that had a foreign talent program, and the website looked great. a little too cliché-laden ("if you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen" being one of 5-6 examples that i remember seeing), but quite impressive at first glance. i was considering applying, or at least making contact, but a bit more googling turned up a website against that particular company, alleging that the working conditions were horrible, the culture was toxic, foreign staff would get yelled at, and firings for trivial reasons were common. while the first 3 points don't sit well with me either, the last point is the biggest turn-off here. reason being that in a foreign country, my visa status is basically tied to employment, so my stay in the country would be contingent on the company's feeling about me. of course, that's just one perspective. the only way to know for sure is to apply and see for myself if i get in. but i'm not inclined to do that, simply because the risk is way too high. the one plus that working in singapore has is that i'll never live in fear of being deported. but that only means singapore is a safety net for me, because there are other things to fear there.

with that thought in mind, i'm considering australia as a more serious option now. the issue there is that i need a visa. and basically the only way to get that visa is through sponsorship by a company. i don't know if a company would be willing to hire me. one strategy i thought of is to take up a master's degree there; get a foot into the country, at least. thing is, i don't know if it'll be worth it, or if it's even viable. the plan right now is to get in touch with some companies and ask for advice. i wonder though, how many would bother to respond? my impression is that australians are generally friendlier, so i'm hoping that i'll get maybe a 50% response rate? the timing is another issue. based on the current plan, i'll be in japan until early 2024. making contact 1.5 years in advance does sound a bit over the top, but i think that being early is warranted in this case.

unintentional cooking experiment today. i made pancake batter on friday, but only used half of it. forgot about it yesterday, and decided to make a late lunch out if it today before it spoiled. probably due to the prolonged resting time, the batter didn't set up nicely in the pan like it usually does. instead, i got a...sludge? like, it stayed fluid, but it was very viscous at the same time. think it's because the gluten in the flour broke down over time. but the flavour was decent, even more so after i stirred in some chicken bits. would i do it again...probably not. but it's a good experience.

might as well do some budgeting for this holiday. everything here is rounded up, to endure that i spend within my limit.

flights: 64000

hotel (tokyo): 14000

hotel (akita): unknown, potentially 25000

airport parking + ETC: about 9000

car rental (tentative): 15000

souvenirs: 15000 maximum

food: 3000 per day, 27000 total

other expenses (sightseeing, onsen, etc): 8000 maximum

total: about 169000 yen

more than i'd thought, but it's within acceptable limits. i don't do this too often, after all. i'm trying to channel scary JC friend and treat this as an adventure; go to places that i might not usually think of going to, meet new people, that sort of thing. i doubt i'll be as lucky as she is, to meet someone who randomly decided to take her on a road trip, but one can hope.

this post has gone on long enough, i think. reason it's so long is because i actually wrote the majority of it yesterday, but didn't publish it. then, i topped up some additional stuff today. better publish before it gets significantly longer!

-random thought of the day: Things will work out.-

Downside to living alone: you are responsible for literally everything, no matter how unsavoury the task is. *warning: you might not want to be eating or drinking while reading this next part*

over the past week, i noticed that my shower drain was draining water less efficiently - like, water would pool up on the floor. so i let it dry out for a day, then dismantled the drain set-up. seems like a film of some sort had grown over the trap and around the inner part of the pipe. and there was a lot of hair blocking it too. i took it outside, rinsed off all the gunk, and poured some bleach down the drain for good measure. going to test it out later during my shower. hopefully that fixed it, or else i'll have to get out the industrial-strength drain cleaner.

it's not just house maintenance; there's also nobody to take care of you if you're sick, or to cover you in case you forget certain things. taking out the rubbish and turning a light off being two things that i've been guilty of. so far, everything is still within my tolerance to handle. i think i might draw the line at toilet-related things. we'll cross that bridge if we get there...and i'm hoping we never do. but regardless of how gross it is, i'd take living alone over living with someone i can't stand. de-mucking a shower drain is a small price to pay for the improved mental health and peace of mind.

holiday plans are solidifying; my friend's family has kindly offered to put me up for 3 days and 2 nights, meaning that i will still need some hotel accommodation. going to put in my leave application tomorrow, and book plane tickets by tuesday or wednesday. i'm excited! no solid itinerary yet, but i want to spend some time in a hot spring. but i'll ask for recommendations when i'm there. my schedule is flexible, after all.

surprise! i'm still losing weight. it's at a much slower pace than before, though. nevertheless, it's something. if i had to guess the current rate of weight loss, i'd say...half a kilo a month? side note, i just hit another milestone, in that the first digit of my weight decreased by one. but it's still too early to celebrate, because it's like x9.xxkg now. weight can fluctuate by as much as a kilo a day, depending on many factors like time of weighing, if food was eaten, etc. hopefully this trend keeps up and i can meet the next milestone weight by the end of this year. related note: i've been thinking that i should do some simple exercise at home, like bodyweight exercises or core-strengthening activities. the tough bit is getting started. maybe i shouldn't be too ambitious. start easy, like 10 squats a day or something. it's kind of odd, actually. the scales show that i'm much lighter than before. yet, i don't see a change in the overall shape of my body. perhaps it'll only start showing after i lose more fat.

pinkdot was held in singapore yesterday. and as usual, the anti-LGBT squad was out in full force. i don't actively seek them out, but sometimes their comments make their way into my field of vision. it's infuriating. there was one saying that encouraging LGBT people to come out would pave the way for murders, rapists, etc. to do the same. classic slippery slope fallacy. i don't know if they're trolling, or if they seriously mean it. but still...it just kills my faith in humanity. i don't want to engage with them, because it's like that quote - "never argue with an idiot. they bring you down to their level then beat you with experience". of course, if someone was rational but misinformed, i'd do my best to educate them. i might even learn something myself. but so far, nobody fits that bill. i just hope that i never meet such people in real life.

-random thought of the day: Less inclined to move back to Singapore.-

Excite! i'm going to sound privileged/jaded as hell, but it's been a while since i've felt excitement in japan. i mean, it was really exciting when i first got here; new environment, people, culture, and all that. but over time, it becomes a new normal. just like how i was self-conscious about wearing a mask in public at first, but it's like second nature now.

so the reason for excitement is that my holiday plans are solidifying. i've informed the schools that i won't be around for a period of time, and have gotten their blessing. well, more like they don't really have a choice. i've heard that the boards of education in some prefectures can block their JETs' leave, but i'm not facing any resistance here. if i'd planned it better, i might've been able to schedule a visit back to singapore, but it's too late now because air ticket prices are through the roof. not to mention that the COVID situation there still makes me feel uneasy. the earliest i'll attempt a trip back will probably be december.

as for my holiday plans this summer, i think i'll end up taking leave from 6 or 7 july, all the way until 22 july. that's 18 days off for the price of 11 leave days - an even better deal than the one i thought of previously! and this also means that i'll go into year 3 of my JET term with 40 days' leave...enough to basically not show up to work for 2 months straight! i'm not going to blow it all at once though; but i will be a bit more liberal with my leave since i've got so much of it.

i'm still waiting on confirmation from my friend, but the tentative plan is that i'll be in akita from 7 to 15 july or thereabouts. probably get back to kochi on 15th night or 16th morning, then rot at home for another 8 days. it's as much to watch for COVID symptoms as it is to combat post-trip blues. the most amazing thing is that i may be able to stay with my friend's wife's family. that would save me a ton in hotel fees, but it's not confirmed yet. if it goes through, i'll have to use some of the savings to buy them something nice. maybe a bottle of sake or similar. i don't even have an itinerary! so far, i've heard that there's a famous onsen which has white water. well...i'm not too worried. my friend's wife is a local, so i'm sure she'll know some good spots. hopefully we can solidify things by the end of this week.

did some research about getting to the airport, too. the fastest way would be to drive, but parking for a week at the airport will come up to about 7000 yen for the duration. it's ridiculously cheap compared to singapore, but why spend 7000 yen when a return trip by train only costs 4000 yen? the train could actually be as cheap as 1000 yen each way, but i'm going to add 1000 yen to take the express train. the travelling time is 2 hours for normal, 1 hour for express. is it worth spending an extra 1000 yen to save an hour on the train? yes. not even going to think twice about it. going up to akita will involve a short stopover at haneda airport in tokyo, probably because it's a hub. thankfully the layover is only about an hour, maybe two tops. have to admit, the thought of the long pre-flight trip is quite a deterrent to leaving my town. but i figure that i should get out of my literal and figurative comfort zone.

today's pay day! they finally started deducting residence tax, to the tune of about 10000 yen a month. the total amount (prefecture and town) is less than 200 000 yen, which is ok i guess? considering i'm single and living here with no dependents. well, i'll have a pay increase in august, so that'll offset the tax nicely. i wonder if foreigners in all countries pay residence tax? as far as i know, the postdocs from other countries only had to pay income tax while they were working in singapore.

apart from that, there's not much to update about. school is fairly normal, though i'm trying to recalibrate the balance point between being present for the kids and not shadowing them too much. it's both to ensure that they don't get too tired of me and that i don't get too emotionally attached. helps me to not make irrational decisions during recontract time as well.

somehow i don't feel good. i can't explain it, exactly. if i had to guess, it's a combination of several small things. not actually making a difference, for one. i know that it's mostly out of my control, but it's still annoying. the thing that i really hate the most is that the kids use japanese to learn english. i can close an eye for vocabulary, because it's easier to show objects and form the link between different languages. but it's not possible for grammar. not between english and japanese, at least, because the order of components in a sentence is basically reversed. i have sec 3 kids who still can't form proper sentences, and it's wearing my patience thin. all the more so because i've seen them since sec 1. well, the last term of sec 1, anyway. you'd think that after seeing me twice every week for more than a year, they'd at least be able to string coherent sentences together!

thinking about it a bit more, i can put my finger on the reason, at least for this particular factor. nobody likes to see their efforts wasted. i recall reading this anecdote about prisoners going crazy after being told to move a big pile of rocks back and forth continuously. it's that feeling of putting in effort, but having nothing to show for it - not even a milestone or checkpoint! the only mitigating factors are that the kids are nice, and that the board of education and the teachers seem to appreciate my work. it's the disconnect too. english is like the official second language of japan. and in 30 years of JET, the english level as a whole is still rubbish. what they say and the actual reality don't match. if they wanted to be good at english, they would put in more effort, resources, etc. i think i'm just cranky because i'm tired/sleepy, hence writing all this out. don't think it's the first time and it probably won't be the last. but yes. just needed to vent a little i guess. and this post started out so happy, too!

-random thought of the day: Sleep will make things better.-

So i was entertaining a crazy thought earlier this week. but before i talk about that, it's weird dream time! haven't had that in a while, right? this dream was centred on the ex. in it, we were talking. i kind of remember being on the upper deck of a double-decker bus too. as the bus was passing by a heartland-y area, the ex was telling me he regretted not trying harder, and that it was stupid for him to let the relationship end. i don't remember what i said exactly, but the conversation was cordial. i won't lie, dream-me was tempted to give it another shot. good thing i came to my senses upon waking up! there were a couple of other dreams too, although they've since faded from memory. one was more action-packed, but that's about all i remember.

crazy thought: what if i moved to ireland instead? the reason this thought came about was that i've been watching irish-related videos on youtube. dancing, music, mrs brown's boys...you get the idea. i think that the irish accent is really quite attractive! and my googling has revealed that for a catholic country, ireland is surprisingly LGBT-friendly. the biggest deterrents from moving there are the huge time zone difference and distance from asia. more minor thing: i think asian guys are more attractive than caucasian guys. like, disregarding the moral and ethical issues for the sake of illustrating the point, if i had a choice to implant my dream guy's consciousness into a host body, i'd definitely choose an asian body. it's horribly shallow, isn't it? maybe that's why i'm still single. that's not to say that i'm closing options off, though. if i happen to hit it off with a non-asian person here in japan, i'd at least give it a shot. but that's carts before horses.

one of the irish songs i've been listening to is called "whisky in the jar". i'm not sure whether/when to put an "e" in whisky, so i'll leave it out all the way for consistency. anyway, i was quite blown away by two radically different versions of the song. the first one i heard is more foslksy, like a song you'd sing at a family get-together or a night at the pub.

and this is version 2. i have no words to describe it, so just listen.

probably the thing that caught me most off-guard was that a band like metallica, which is known more for heavy metal, would cover a traditional song like this. i like it though! i was trying to figure out just how both versions got so different. speed and instruments used are the two main factors i guess. times like this i wish i had musical talent.

unexpected development: i may be taking a holiday! not only that, but during term time, too! so, a few things had to come together to make this happen. first, i confirmed with my supervisor that any leave in excess of 20 days would be forfeited at the end of july - meaning that i have to clear 12 days and an hour in the next 7 weeks. side note: i don't bear them any ill will or whatever; it's the rules after all. just that...you know, the only reason i have so much leave left over is because i do my best to show up for school every day of the term. well...i'm learning that it's ok to take leave, provided advance notice is given for planning reasons.

second thing is, my friend is visiting japan! well, he's coming along with his wife to visit family, which explains how he can come in despite restrictions not being fully lifted. they'll be in akita prefecture, which is basically on the other side of the country from me. i've started poking around at flight prices, and i'll be asking for more details about the school schedules next week. what i'll probably do is take 2 weeks of leave (or even all 12 days at a go). go to akita for 5 days to a week, then come back and self-isolate for the remaining week, as is the responsible thing to do. next question is when to go? my friend will be there for about a month, so i do have wiggle room. right now, i'm thinking 04 to 20 july, both dates inclusive. i get 17 days for the price of 12, because of 4 weekend days and a public holiday. nice bonus is that it ties in to summer break as well! while i am tempted to also schedule a trip back to singapore, timeline and finances make that a little bit difficult. perhaps next year, or over the end-of-year break.

third thing - the COVID situation in japan is improving/stabilizing somewhat. while the locals might still give some side-eye if i told them i was travelling internationally, local travel seems perfectly fine. it's actually not a good thing. japan and japanese people have this...habit? stereotype? of being biased against foreigners. like, the mindset defaults to "blame the foreigner" when things go wrong. of course, a stereotype has roots in reality, but it also doesn't mean that everyone behaves like that - the people i work with are an excellent counterexample.

in the nearer future though, i have two pressing things to do. the more urgent thing is the side job thing; i need to make 6 more short videos by this weekend. not impossible, just have to really sit down and do it without distractions. good thing that the remaining topics are really light! less urgent: i may have volunteered myself for a japanese speech contest. i can unjoin anytime, so this isn't really all that serious. i'm considering talking about my akita trip, like travel before and during COVID. i'll sit on that. time to sleep earlier than usual. got a long day of powerpoint ahead.

-random thought of the day: Hope everything falls into place!-

Most recent cooking fail: i attempted to make ginger vinegar pork trotters again. i thought that i'd got the method down with attempt 1, so i went bigger - 4 trotters instead of 2. first problem: my pot wasn't big enough, so i had to cook 2 first, eat some, then cook the remaining 2 on another day. not that bad.

what i completely neglected to consider was that since i was using additional ingredients, i should watch the water level more carefully. and in particular for this dish, because the collagen in the trotters break down to produce gelatin. due to my carelessness, the gelatin ended up absorbing all the water and burning after that, so i got a kind of horrible black jelly with a carbonized exterior. adding water to try and redissolve it didn't work, and the water ended up tasting burnt too. neither did adding more ginger to mask the off flavours. it wasn't a complete loss; the inner unburnt parts were still lovely and soft and sticky and flavourful. but i had planned to finish the meat off over the weekend and stretch the leftover gravy over a few more weekday dinners. that obviously isn't going to happen now, and will result in a sooner-than-anticipated supermarket trip.

don't know why, but i feel particularly lousy about this mistake. almost as if i let the pigs down or something. or it might be my anticipation at having something delicious, only for it to be ruined. i know it's no big deal in the grand scheme of things, and i could give it another shot if i really wanted to. but i think i'll hold off for a while.

quite a stupid thing to get upset over, isn't it? but if that's all that upsets me, i should be grateful. i AM running out of cooking ideas, though. there's the standard rice with vegetables and meat, or a soup/stew of some kind. those two types of cooking make up...more than 90% of my meals? i mean, i'll occasionally get sushi or a steak or something, but that's rare. don't get me wrong, i'm not like torturing myself or forcing myself to eat like that. i do enjoy the food i make, just that sometimes i wish for something a little more exciting. seeing as how that's completely within my control, i should do something about it.

-random thought of the day: What would be delicious and fun/easy to cook?-

For someone whose bane of existence is maths, i sure am thinking a lot about maths problems! my most recent conundrum is about probability. let me set the question up.

so, square enix is holding a lucky draw for final fantasy in-game items. there are 4 possible items to be won, and 1500 prizes to be given out in all. people can enter multiple times, up to a maximum of 7. each person can only win one prize regardless of the number of entries they submit. there are 5800 (rounded up) entries. i submitted 6 entries (missed the first timeslot). with all that info, what are the odds of me winning a prize?

my first thought when collating the info was, 'wow, that's a lot of variables'. i also had 2 main trains of thought, but i'll only go through the one i think is more correct, for brevity. so, in this case, it's easier to work with the complement probability - i.e. 1-the case where my entries are totally not picked. i don't know how they'll conduct the draw, but i'll assume that the can somehow draw lots submitted by 1500 unique people so there are no duplicates.

the probability of my entries not being chosen at all in a single draw is (5800-6) / 5800, or about 99.9%. but there are 1500 draws. so, that would work out to 0.999¹⁵⁰⁰, which is 0.212. using 1-0.212, there is a 0.788 probability that at least one of my entries will be chosen. ~80% odds does sound good, but i also have to remember that there's the 21% chance that i really don't win anything. the actual numbers are probably different, due to some peoples' entries belonging to the same person, being invalid, or some entries not really being entries at all (entries are screenshot responses to a tweet; i just counted all replies regardless). the biggest problem with this calculation is that it assumes that each draw is an independent event. i don't know the drawing methodology, so there's a decent chance that this result doesn't mean anything. surprisingly, if i assume that everyone submitted multiple entries, the probability only increases by about 5%. less than i thought.

another big assumption i made is that all entrants will get the prize of their choice. granted, it's an in-game item, so it should be possible to create infinite copies. but you know, in case they decide to portion equal numbers of all 4 prizes or something. that would severely decrease my odds...to about 0.322, in fact. meaning that there would only be a 32% chance of me winning anything at all.

kind of pointless to even mention this, or think about it so deeply. but i figure that it helps to work my brain. makes sure i haven't lost my logical thinking ability too. and it's a fun way to pass the time/occupy myself. while this is still within my capabilities, don't hold your breath for me to win a fields medal!

-random thought of the day: Must get 3 or more videos out by this weekend.-