Philosophy is annoying. or at least it was, while i was writing my paper draft. after getting my tutor's comments, i'm less inclined to stick to that view. arts tutors are so much more encouraging than science tutors! i suppose it's because arts assignments are more personal/subjective, whereas science ones are fact-based. still, it felt hell of a good seeing "well done!" as the opening comment in the email. since i'm a science tutor myself (though not in the university sense of the word), i must remember to be more encouraging.

this past week, people have been sociable to me - more so than normal, that is. there was the tailor, the NTUC checkout lady, and several other people whom i interacted with. i'm guessing that it's due to the residual cheer left over from CNY, though i can't be too sure about that. that theory will be tested next week, since the 15th day of the month will have passed by monday, so people should snap out of their celebratory mood. we'll see whether people continue to be extra-talkative or not next week.

incidentally, i've been meeting several old friends recently, all purely by chance. i met two of them while walking around in NUS, and another 2 of them in CJC, when i went back for training. while it is nice to go back and see the juniors and all, it's different when you meet someone who was in the school at the same time as you were. there's so much more common ground, not to mention you know each other's behavioural patterns better. it really did my heart good to see them again. hopefully i can unintentionally bump into a few more of such friends in the future.

those two events aside, this past week has actually been pretty ok. i'm still annoyed that i can't wake up for biochem lecture. i've missed both of them this week, and as a result, i'll have to find time to accommodate 3 hours' worth of webcasts. that's not too difficult, actually, since i can use the spare time which was originally set aside for my philosophy paper. must also start studying for mid-terms. this semester, i only have 2 of them! happiness. this means that i had better score, seeing as i've been cut a lot of slack. right now, i'm more worried for organic chem than inorganic. have to look through the reactions again. the professor does have a point though; we've only studied 2 reaction mechanisms so far. the multitude of reactions are basically derived from those mechanisms. just have to remember reactivities and possible substituents. as for inorganic, the main thing is about hard/soft acids and bases. might take a bit of reading, but that shouldn't be much of a problem.

i went for the cat high alumni new year dinner yesterday. paying $38 for that quality of food was most definitely worth it. it was enjoyable, and we even had an informative chinese history lesson. only thing that was kind of a downer was that one of my friends/juniors got a little under my skin. i mean - it's ok to tell me you don't like something about me, but to constantly bring it up is kind of crossing the line. what's more, it's supposed to be a new year's dinner, where people are generally happy and non-offensive. that did not make for a happy dinner. but still, the good outweighed the bad, and i suppose that's all that matters.

during the dinner, i had a few drinks. and i had training this morning. that's not a good combination, even after 8 hours of sleep. for the first time in my life, i felt like throwing up during training. managed to suppress it though, so no major embarrassments there. lesson learnt: separate drinking and training by at least a day. in addition, it's the first time in 2 weeks that i've gone for national team training, and by extension, the first time in 2 weeks that i've trained this hard. guess it was sort of expected that i'd be more shagged out that normal. stupid thing happened, too. i forgot to bring a change of pants along for training! this takes my absent-mindedness to a whole new level. normally, i would wear shorts, then go and change at the training venue. but was able to drive down today, so i wore my gi pants straight away. so, i ended up going home in those pants. it wasn't unpleasant, but it's not something i'd care to repeat.

now that i've covered the mundane happenings, i guess it's time to mention something more interesting/complicated. scratch that...screwed up would be more appropriate. if you've seen my most recent facebook status, you'd have seen that there is mention of the phrase "cui tat lan". for those people who haven't been/won't go to army, and those who aren't fluent in hokkien, that phrase basically means that something is stuck in your mouth. go figure. to give it practical meaning, it means that something is (physically or otherwise) stopping you from speaking. i seem to be experiencing that a lot, especially for that ONE most important thing i have to vocalize. you know what? screw that semester-end deadline. i'll do it today, or tonight, to be precise. as a certain starship captain-turned mutant professor once said, "this far — no further!". sure, that's easy to say, but is it equally easy to do? we'll see at crunch time tonight.

-random thought of the day: I might be a utilitarian.-

Truth be told, i didn't get as much work done in the recess week as i'd have liked. time seemed to just slip by so quickly! saturday, sunday and monday were used for CNY-y stuff, so i made the necessary concession in my plan. the entire tuesday (and a bit of wednesday morning) was used for biochem webcast, so that's over and done with. the rest of wednesday was spent at CJC for training, and sending my cousin off. a surprise coaching assignment came up on thursday (i'll elaborate later), so i guess that was the wrench that messed up my timing. friday and saturday saw me coaching and training respectively, while last but not least, last night and today were spent on my lab report. see? even though "a week of study break" sounds like a long time, it really isn't. nevertheless, it's given me enough time to clear 2 out of 3 of the most painful arrows. that leaves philosophy outstanding, and i'm trying to multitask by listening to the webcast as i'm typing this post out. maybe some intelligent-sounding stuff will somehow subconsciously bleed into here? ...doubt it.

to quickly mention the surprise coaching assignment, it was for an RJC kid, whom i've blogged about sometime last year. see if you remember his name! but anyway, i think i've been coaching at the basic/elementary level for too long, because most of the high-level stuff which my boss mentioned (you didn't think i did it alone, did you?) flew over my head. luckily, i managed to catch a bit of what he said. it took some sitting and sleeping on, but the ideas more or less make sense now. then again, that's level 2 and 3 stuff, so i'm not really REQUIRED to know it...not yet anyway.

friday's coaching was...traumatic. i was expecting about 20 kids, 25 tops. imagine my sheer horror when i saw 41 of them coming towards me. luckily, i ended up only handling 4 lanes, which totals about 16 kids. even then, it was kind of tiring. i had to repeat the same basic stuff again, like "eyes on target", "bend lower", "swing all the way up". of course, it got a little frustrating, but i must remember that they're new to the sport, and it's understandable if they don't catch on so quickly. surprisingly, my boss commented that the discipline on my side was better than he expected. personally, i found that they were still a little too noisy for acceptable standards. so, either my boss has really low expectations, or i'm being too demanding. possibly both, though i suspect it's more of the latter.

saturday saw me going back to CJC for training. once again, i was assigned to the sec 1s. spent most of the session revising breakfalls with them, and teaching them a new throw during the later part of the session. as with the primary school kids, their standard isn't close to what i'd have liked. but, i (once again) have to remind myself that they're new to the sport, and some of the movements will most definitely feel unnatural to them initially. still, it was more enjoyable teaching the sec 1s than it was teaching the primary 4s/5s. i suppose it's because the sec 1s are more mature mentally. and it also helps that their group size is smaller. i'd pick teaching 5 sec 1s over teaching 16 primary school kids any day.

after the sec 1s left, the coach asked me to spar with one of last year's SJI sec 4s/this year's CJC J1s. "spar" as in formal sparring, keeping track of scores and all that. being a senior, it's more or less taken for granted that i can't lose. even if i do lose, it has to be by just a small point. to avoid drowning anyone in jargon, and to cut a long story short, i won. honestly, i don't remember much of the match, except that he tapped out. so yes. mission save-face was successful. i suppose the win could be attributed to a slight physical advantage (he's smaller than i am) as well as a possible slight mental advantage(as a junior, the thought of sparring with seniors scared the hell out of me. don't know if they feel that way towards me, though...). following that, we did some PT. for once, i'm aching all over, and i'm actually feeling good about it. still need to get even fitter though. motivation!

caught a lift back to bishan from another senior who went back for training (he's 2 years my junior). ah, the benefits of having friends who drive. must repay the favour someday though; can't just keep taking and taking. the soonest that'll happen is when i can secure the car for use on saturdays, or when i get my own car. somehow, i think doing the former will be easier than doing the latter. and since we're already on the topic of transport, i'd thought i'd mention that i bought bus concession for a month, just to give it a try. there's $22.00 in my card already, so in addition to the cost of the pass, that's either $74 or $48 total. there are 2 numbers because the website says the pass costs $52, while the receipt shows i was charged $26. i'll have to check that out somehow.

sometimes, i wonder - is it possible to like someone to the extent where you hate them? sure, i've heard the quote before. "the opposite of love isn't hate, and vice versa. the opposite of both love and hate is indifference." from a logical point of view, this makes sense. love and hate are both strong emotions, and the opposite of feeling strongly for someone is not feeling anything for someone, hence the quote. but on the other hand, you can love someone enough to kill for them, but you can hate someone enough to kill them as well. doesn't that make them opposites, then? to borrow something from philosophy, two things can't both be opposites and not be opposites at the same time. so, one or both of those statements must be wrong. instinct tells me that the first one makes more sense, but the second one is easier to believe now, with my current state of mind. i know i'll probably look back on all this in 10 years' time and have a good laugh, but it sucks right now. oh well. i promised to give it time, so give it time i will. doesn't mean i can't blog about it though...maybe the answer will come to me faster if i analyze it from different angles. or maybe i'll get traumatized from analyzing it from too many angles. one of the above anyway.

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if you've seen my facebook status, you'd have known by now that blogger ate my post. funny how this hasn't happened in a few years, and it just had to happen to the one post which has given me the most satisfaction to write for a long time (funny how that sentence looks weird, no matter what i do to it. hope you get the idea, though). everything from the "saturday saw me..." paragraph onwards was rewritten today (monday). somehow, i prefer the original (but deleted) post...it flowed better. it was lacking some content, but a re-read and edit would have solved that. maybe the quality of my rewritten post is suffering because i'm tired now. well, looks like it's off to bed with me. i'll blog about school restarting soon.

-random thought of the day: Sian that my nice post got eaten up.-

I don't get it - how can just seeing someone evoke that much...negativity? it's not exactly hatred/dislike, just something generally not positive. i'm not even going to bother trying to place the emotion this time. and look! i'm sounding like an angsty, hormonal teenager again. arrgh. why is it so difficult to talk to that person!?? for that matter, why is it so difficult to talk about emotional things? i've always preferred to write things down (that's why i've been blogging for so long) as opposed to talking. i guess i get uncomfortable, because i don't know how the other party is going to react, and i'd rather not be there if the reaction is negative. also, writing is safer than talking. when you write something, there's backspace, delete, correction tape/fluid, or even plain old cancellation, so you can re-word what you want to say according to how you want to say it before the other party sees the final message. but in conversation, a slip of the tongue can't be undone. too bad i can't write down what i want to say. it could be...incriminating to leave a record. MSN and facebook chat aren't safe either. i know a few friends with a penchant for taking screenshots, and that person might choose to press the shiny "print screen" button on their keyboard. SMS won't work as well, for similar reasons. and as i've said earlier, face-to-face conversation is way out. so, there's one logical alternative left - a phone call. sure, there's still the danger of being recorded, but what are the odds a voice recorder will be handy when i make the call? but even then, i have to muster the courage to make the call, and to say what i want to without interruption. or perhaps i should try a language other than english? hmm...idea worth considering.

kind of sad, isn't it? i've fired rifles, thrown grenades, been less than a kilometre from exploding bombs, handled carcinogenic chemicals, and i still can't find it in me to make a phone call. why? or to quote my old RSM, "what-the hell's going on!?" (he says the first 2 words really fast, so they're like stuck together). or maybe i should wait for that person to take action first. but given that they're as dense as...something really dense, that probably won't see results that soon. oh well. i'll give it until the end of this semester, which is in another 10 weeks or so. that way, if nothing happens, i have 3 months of semester break to decide on a suitable course of action. i really hope things turn out good, or at least neutral. i would hate to lay off judo again.

by this time, i'd be deluding myself if i still thought that i could push this thing completely out of my head. i've figured out that the best way to not think about it every few minutes is to keep myself otherwise occupied. like during today's training session, where i was assigned to teach breakfalls to the new sec 1s. coaching the primary 3s did me some good after all, because this was a walk in the park in comparison. it's so much easier when the kids are actually paying attention, instead of running all around the country, talking to their friends, or otherwise ignoring you. i really hope for more such assignments. it'll brighten my day, and get my mind off bad stuff.

went to send my cousin off at the airport after training. hard to believe that about 3 months have passed since he came back for his holiday. though we didn't hang out all that often, we still got some quality time together. i'm a little sad to see him go, though...but he'll be back around july. either that, or i can pop by melbourne to visit him when i get my long semester break.

guess i'll stop here for today. seems like i'm kind of behind with my work. the three (well, two and a bit) major thorns in my side now are bio webcast, philosophy webcast, and organic chem lab report. must finish all arrows by sunday in order to start the second part of the semester on even ground. but, with coaching on for the next 2 days, and training on saturday, that might prove difficult. i'm probably going to have to make better use of my mornings. after all, all that sleeping time can be used to tackle work instead.

-random thought of the day: Emo-ness is unbecoming of a 21 year-old.-

Most of the festivities are over (not that there were that many to begin with, anyway), and life goes on, as usual. to be honest, CNY was kind of boring. i know i've said this before, but the magic isn't there any more. in the past, i've attributed this to my grandparents no longer being around to add to the mood, but i thought of a few more potential reasons today. maybe it's because i've grown up, and i just don't see what the big deal is any more. or it could be because CNY is usually associated with noise, and i generally prefer quiet settings.

but this post isn't about that. it's (mainly) about how CNY went. like i said before, it was boring. boring to the point where even the money doesn't excite me much (i haven't opened my red packets yet). but i'll say this though, it was nice to see some of the cousins again, considering how CNY is the only time i get to see them, barring unusual circumstances. as usual, i had trouble identifying which nephew/niece belonged to which cousin, though i was less lost than last year. watching them running around, i can't help but wonder - was i like that, 10 or so years ago? but back to the main point, yes...it was good to catch up with them again.

and now that CNY is over, it's time to shift the focus back to school and normal life again. this week's recess week, so i won't be in school at all. that also gives me time to watch my biochem webcast lectures (tomorrow), philosophy webcast lectures (wednesday), work on my lab report (starting on thursday), and not forgetting training and coaching, which are on their usual wednesday and friday timeslots. at least coaching is; not too sure about training right now. and my cousin flies back to australia on wednesday as well. looks like i need to do some precise planning to make everything not clash. but i'll tackle those things when the time is right. and right now, it's time for star trek. i have a shiny new ship to fly.

-random thought of the day: My thoughts are more or less sorted out.-

As i'm starting this post, it's about 2:15am on valentine's day/day 1 of CNY. following the tradition/superstition, i'll be staying up late tonight/this morning. haven't decided exactly how late, but i think i'll be up for another hour at least. that's about how long it takes me to blog anyway.

i'm kind of sad to admit this, but i don't feel very festive, even up till now. i can't really explain it either...i guess the most logical reason that comes to mind is because nobody's making a big deal about it. that's usually the older generation's job. and since all of my grandparents are no longer with us, it just isn't the same any more. sure, we did the typical reunion dinner (more to come on that soon), but the atmosphere just isn't there. i mean - i remember my paternal grandmother waking up at like 4:00+am to get a headstart on the cooking. not bad for a 70+ year-old lady, huh? i joined her only one year...when i was 10 i think, and never again after that. sleep took more priority at that time. anyway, people just don't do that sort of stuff any more. who in their right minds would wake up at four in the morning just to cook - especially in this modern era?

so, back to the topic of the reunion dinner. we went over to my cousin's place, as has been the tradition in recent years. it was...normal, i guess. standard CNY-ish stuff. that's not to say it wasn't good, but i suppose you get used to the same thing after a few consecutive CNYs. thanks to my cousin's bowling craving, we went down to marine bowl for a few games - 4 to be exact. this bowling trip made me wonder - am i really qualified as a bowler, and by extension, as a coach? i mean, among the 3 of us (my cousin, my dad and myself), i dare say that i've received the most training in bowling. but the scores don't reflect that! my dad ended up the ultimate winner, beating me by oh...80 pins over the 4 games. funny, huh? of course, it was all in the spirit of fun, so i suppose i shouldn't really take this to heart.

good thing we went bowling...turns out there was an argument between one of my aunts and one of my cousins while we were gone. it would be unfair of me to pass judgement, since i didn't witness the incident first-hand. i will say this though - it's CNY eve. is there really a need to argue? too bad that particular aunt is kind of hot-tempered. oh well. i expect it'll blow over...or not. we'll find out in due time.

part of the un-festiveness seems to stem from my mental state right now. combining fatigue and an overactive imagination typically doesn't result in good outcomes. sometime earlier this evening, i had a random thought. what if i were to get really really drunk, then call the person and told them exactly how i feel? it sure sounds like a good idea, particularly if i don't remember anything about it the following day. but knowing myself, odds are that i WILL remember, either spontaneously, or after a few rounds of questioning. so...not such a good idea after all. arrgh. maybe it would be less complicated if i just could express myself more confidently when it counts.

anyway, i won't dwell on it too much, after all, it's supposed to be a happy couple of days. true to prediction, about an hour has passed from the start of this post to right now. so, off i go to recharge for the rounds of visiting tomorrow.

-random thought of the day: Happy CNY!-

Dragging myself out of bed in the mornings is becoming increasingly difficult. it's not so bad for the 8:00am classes, since those aren't webcast and it's easier to convince myself to get my butt in gear. it's those days when i have only one class, and especially when it's webcasted...like biochem tomorrow. i'll be honest and say that my lecture attendance hasn't been all that stellar, but at least i have a general idea of what's going on. still, a good part of my recess week will be spent watching reruns of biochem and philosophy.

let's see now...interesting occurrences are kind of rare recently, so i'm just going to update about some mundane stuff - like school, labs, and coaching. school is just, well, school. the lectures are still pretty easy to follow, though organic chem is starting to get tough. and i suppose the fact that i doze off sporadically during the second half of those lectures doesn't really help my understanding. i'm thankful for my ability to understand most chemical things quickly and easily. that's the only thing ensuring that i'm not at the bottom of the class right now. inorganic chem is still pretty brainless (as long as you keep the important definitions in mind while reading the notes). i'm really enjoying the lectures! thanks to the lecturer's questions and remarks, the lab staff now know me as "the bishan guy". it's ONE way to get noticed, i suppose...but it's all in good fun. i realize that he's no longer looking for answers from the front row nowadays. guess we've proven ourselves already. heh.

something special happened today. as i was printing my stuff in the library, i saw a girl who looked kind of lost. long story short, she was a foreign student who wanted to print something, and i let her use my account to do it, since she apparently doesn't have a computer account. the reason i'm blogging about this is not to show off...well, maybe it is, just a little. but the main point is, this incident reminded me how good it felt to help someone out. if i was a foreign student in a country whose language i didn't speak well, i'm sure i would appreciate similar assistance. hopefully, as a side bonus, my karma balance will be improved due to that.

as for lab sessions, i'm enjoying those as well. just wish we didn't have to write those damned reports. the TA made me so happy when he announced that this week's lab report was voided. turned out there was a communication error, and we still have to do it after all. sadness. at least it's only due after recess week. as of this past tuesday, i've finished all my organic labs already, as well as the first of 3 biochem labs. thank goodness i got a good lab partner for biochem. she's friendly, takes initiative and isn't lost...not in the lab, at least, unlike some of the science bimbos (they're a rare species, but they do exist) that i've seen. i think know we'll work well together for the next 2 labs!

coaching has been...umm...how do i put it? challenging. yes, that's the word. the challenge doesn't lie in identifying and correcting the kids' mistakes. they're not formally trained, so there's not much to do in that aspect right now. rather, the challenge is to stop myself from grabbing a really heavy ball and chucking it at some of the more hyperactive kids. in case anyone was...smart enough to believe i'd actually do that, allow me to clarify - that was an exaggeration. professional i may not always be, but i'm professional enough to not hurt the kids physically. doesn't make things any easier, though.

on the bright side, after 2 rounds of trials, we'll be taking in only 6 new kids. considering about 50 of them tried out in total, i'd say that the acceptance rate is a little low. but i'm grateful, because i won't have to deal with people like that china kid from last year. i mean, we (obviously) have to use a different approach for coaching recreational bowlers vs. competitive bowlers. and since the school wants us to prepare the kids for competition, we have to teach and train in a more focused manner, without slower kids to de-focus us. if we're just promoting the sport, then everyone would be welcome, and my headache would be exponentially larger. now that the pool has been filtered, so to speak, i'm actually looking forward to next friday's session. if all goes according to plan, we'll *finally* be starting on serious skill training. trust me, we need all the time we can get.

even though that particular emo issue is mostly behind me (i think about it once in a while, but that's to be expected. i'm human, after all.), i'm still making glaring typo errors. sometimes, the wrong and correct words have totally no relation to each other, and that's scary. i suspect it's a circuitry problem, because i know how to spell what i want to say, but my fingers don't seem to be obeying my brain. i'd understand if it only happened when i was tired, but the worst thing is, it seems to happen even when i'm alert and awake. maybe i'm typing too much. that's probably it. 5 pages of chem per week for the last 3 weeks is no joke.

mmm...last thought before i go to sleep. i can't believe chinese new year's only 2 days away. it doesn't feel all that festive. maybe because day 1's on a sunday, and/or because NUS has cleverly decided to bring recess week forward to coincide with the public holiday. or because there's just no festive spirit. i don't know...i expect it'll be difficult to smile genuinely this new year. on that note, i don't think i'll be doing much visiting this year. maybe just the obligatory one to my first paternal uncle's place, then to see my cousin before he goes back to australia. but meanwhile, sleep calls.

-random thought of the day: Should I give my tuition kids up?-

Years ago, when this blog was still new and shiny, i promised myself that i would be completely honest with whatever i posted here. names of people i didn't like, names of people i DID like, what exactly happened during any given blog-worthy incident, no matter how embarrassing it may be for anyone - even me...you get the idea. now, this blog is more than half a decade old, and it's lost some of it's sparkle. and the 21 year-old me has realized (a pretty long time ago) that the promise made by my idealistic 15 year-old past self cannot be kept that easily. not as long as this is open for everyone and anyone to read. so, there's going to be a fair amount of cryptic-cism in today's post. be prepared.

i think i really really need to stop thinking about distracting stuff. it's causing unnecessary headache and becoming a general annoyance. but it's difficult, you know? and damned if i don't sound like a lovesick teenager now. only problem is, i'm past teenager-ness/hood/dom already. it's gotten bad enough that my average mood for the past few days has been, well, below average. i didn't even attempt to start on my current lab report (even though it's due in 3 days!) because i know i'll be too distracted to make sense, which is dangerous, especially for a tough experiment like the one i'm supposed to report on this week. i should learn to have better control over my thoughts and emotions. well, perhaps if i ignore the problem, it'll go away? now i'm sounding like a bleeding ostrich. one way or another, i need a resolution to this problem, favourable for me or not.

being 21 years old, and a science student to boot, my mental faculties and analytical skills should be sharper (even if only slightly) than average. after all, my brain should be sufficiently developed, and i'm studying SCIENCE, the one discipline which analyzes everything under the sun. yet, i just can't figure out what's the best course of action in this case. sometimes, i wish i could just turn my emotions off, make the decision and commit to it, then turn the emotions back on again. ok...let's try that now. emotionless me says that all i have to do is ignore the person/people involved (hard as that may be), and get on with my own life. that's pretty good advice, seeing as the hurt is reduced to a minimum (i'll be the only one bearing it, and given sufficient time, it should heal). besides, i can think of this as sort of an emotional control/self-discipline test. it definitely won't kill me, so i'll be stronger after the entire thing. not to mention this teaches me an important lesson: be careful about who you allow to get close to you, whether they realize it or not. looks like i have to be more...guarded in future.

recently, i've become more absent-minded. i don't know if this is at all affected by the above stuff, but it has to stop too. just within these past 2 weeks, i've forgotten to take my keys out of the front door lock no less than 4 times. it would be ok if the keys were on the inside of the house, but they weren't! to make things worse, i've forgotten about my keys and left them in the door only ONCE before these 2 weeks, and that was back in secondary school, when i was just getting used to carrying keys around. arrgh. my typing accuracy has taken a nosedive as well...i'm making outrageous, inexcusable typos. thankfully, none of them have found their way into my lab report or other homework.

oh. in case i haven't blogged about it yet, i'm playing star trek online. it's been great so far, but space battles take way too long. probably because i'm a sucky starship pilot. still, i'm having fun, though i won't allow it to eat into my schoolwork. besides, i'm subscribed for lifetime, so i don't have to rush to get stuff done. yay me. that is also incidentally why star trek references are increasingly featuring in my posts. they have some really cool ideas...it's just too bad that we (most probably) won't get to see any of them in real life in this lifetime. or maybe i could be the genius who invents phasers, or warp technology. who knows? doubt it though, since that's more for physicists. perhaps i should think along the lines of hyposprays instead. no, wait...that's pharmacy. i'm sure chemists can invent SOMETHING cool, right? just let me figure out what it could possibly be.

all right then. now that i've committed myself to a course of action, i'll stick by it. i hope know that i'll have the fortitude to see it through. meanwhile, i think i could use a nap, then i'll finish up the easier sections of my lab report, as well as my inorganic chem tutorial by tonight. as for tomorrow, i have about 6 hours of biochem and 3 hours of philosophy lectures to webcast, as well as the rest of the lab report to finish. joy. as a reminder to myself, i think i'll talk about coaching and training in the next post. somehow, it doesn't feel right to include them here.

-random thought of the day: Ukulele music is a surprisingly effective antidepressant.-

Quite a bit has happened since i last posted...when was that again? oh right, friday, after assessing the little terrors. some of it hasn't been that good (basically more emo stuff which i will do my best not to touch on in this post). other things have been better (like training, my first solo drive, and today's lab).

since i'm not going to blog about bad things today, let's skip to the good stuff. national team training is super-tiring, but somehow, i've still managed to learn some pretty cool stuff amidst the pain and horror. it's quite an experience to receive coaching in chinese, but i've more or less adapted. surprisingly, i've found my standard of chinese to be above the group's average, even though i haven't really been speaking chinese regularly since i left secondary school. maybe it's because i'm training with SJI, and their students are more english-inclined. either that, or the coach is keeping the explanations simple. whatever the case, it's given me another surge of pride to be from cat high.

on a sudden emo urge, i asked my dad for permission to borrow the car on saturday night. note the terminology/word usage here. i'm actually very surprised that he agreed way more readily than i expected. anyway, i took a drive to yishun and back. why yishun? let's just say that i was on a mission, and that mission kind of flopped. nevertheless, i got to practise parking, as well as driving on a pretty crowded road. it was kind of therapeutic actually, since i got to curse and swear out loud at any idiotic drivers who changed lanes abruptly or did other funny stuff. that's not something i'd do with passengers in the car (not when the passengers are my family at least...i might consider it if i was driving friends around). that aside, driving is actually kind of calming. you get to be alone to think about stuff, but you have to NOT think about stuff enough to still focus on the road and the traffic conditions. kind of a nice balance. weird-sounding, but nice. most importantly, i didn't get into any accidents, so i hope that that fact builds up some trust in my driving skills.

as for today's lab, the nice evil lab coordinators thought it would be fun to give us a year 2 experiment to mess up. without drowning the casual reader in a flood of chem, the experiment basically involved a 2-step organic synthesis process, which is ridiculously moisture-sensitive. following the lab manual wasn't that difficult...it's just the the lab manual never mentioned some stuff, like how foam would appear halfway through the separation process. after a lot of shaking, boiling, filtering, and more boiling, all my partner and i ended up with was about a gram of crystals each. the percentage yield was atrocious too...about 20% in all. oh well. at least we weren't the worst off. one pair totally buanged it and will be redoing the experiment in a few weeks. on the bright side, the TA seemed ok with out result, so i'm not going to worry that much. also, that's a few more points for the discussion section of the lab report.

by some stroke of luck/good timing, my dad SMSed me soon after my lab ended, saying that he was in the area and that he could give me a ride home. for some reason, he offered to let me drive. i suspect that there's a sinister plot to groom me as his future chauffeur or something like that, but i don't really mind. it helps me familiarize with the roads after all, and goodness knows i need the driving practice. seems like driving after lab wasn't the best idea, though. my driving was a lot jerkier, and i braked too hard when stopping behind a bus. so much for trust, huh? but well, it wasn't an accident scenario, so live and learn i guess. my control over the car could also be improved, particularly when it's in reverse, seeing as i bumped the back into a wall for the second time. don't know whether it's my lack of skill, or that the car's too powerful. probably both. thankfully, it was going at slow speed, so there wasn't any serious damage.

all right then. guess i'll wrap it up here. full-day lab plus a lack of food intake is getting to me. will probably get a snack before going to sleep. and i realized my philosophy professor just edited tomorrow's lecture notes...AFTER i'd printed out the old set. bleh. which reminds me...i haven't done his readings yet. go me.

-random thought of the day: Praying to Uncle Grignard worked...sort of.-