Beginning tutorials last week has made me realize that i've made a colossal planning error in my timetable. you see, i put japanese tutorials in the middle of my free days, which were to be used for UROPS lab work as well. now, i'm aware of how annoying it is to stop lab work halfway and resume it after 2 hours of japanese class. what makes it slightly worse is that i need a block of at least 6 hours to focus on lab work. that's achievable, provided that i either reach school at 8:00am, or go home at 10:00pm. though those are things which i'd rather avoid completely, i'd take the latter if i really had to choose. as i've been saying, at least i'm making these mistakes now, and not during honours year. that's one thing to be happy/thankful about.

it's week 4, and i feel that the chem lecturers are teaching at a slower pace than usual. somehow, i don't think i've learnt as much as i had by this time in previous semesters. just hope that it's not because i'm falling back further and faster than i think.

lab work is going to be tedious for the next week at least. i've got to run at least 3 columns, each of which takes 4 hours if i'm fast, or 6 hours if i'm slow. suddenly, spending my entire sunday in lab is becoming an increasingly less improbable scenario. well, whatever it takes to get all columns done before next tuesday, i guess. and let's not forget the various tutorials, quizzes, and lab reports which are due. think goodness i only have to write one lab report every 2 weeks this semester.

it's been a long day, and i think i could use lots of sleep before (guess what?) another pretty long day tomorrow. target: to get one column done, and prepare the next sample for its turn at the column. with proper time management, i think it'll turn out ok.

-random thought of the day: Focus!-

Money-collecting seems to be over for now, so let's do some addition. there's $280 from various less-close relatives, $110 from tuition, and $30 from refereeing. parents gave a total of $600, while my aunt gave $500. That comes up to a total of...$1520. wow. i didn't think it would to amount to that much. and that's not counting the $600 my dad gave me (which i reluctantly accepted). looks like a good financial year ahead. out of the entire sum, i'll probably bank in everything except about $40, which are in $2 notes and are not accepted by the deposit machine. that'll settle food in school for the next 2 to 3 weeks. probably will spend a bit more getting myself some stuff, like a new pair of shoes and some socks. maybe some clothes too, and a belt. the one i normally use seems to have gone missing.

before i continue any further, let me elaborate on receiving the $600. it happened sometime in december, but i've just been forgetting to blog about it. so, the reason he gave me the money was as a reward for performing well last semester. while it was a nice surprise, i feel like i didn't deserve it. after all, studying hard is what i'm supposed to do. as past experience has shown, monetary incentive doesn't really pull my grades up. if it was a smaller sum, like $250 (at maximum), i would have happily accepted. but he kind of wouldn't take "no" for an answer.

the national team championships were on today, and i went down to referee. my refereeing quota for the year is settled! which is good also, seeing as how i may not be free during national schools period. prior to this, the last time i refereed was at IVP, which was like 3 weeks ago. it's amazing how quickly the rust accumulates, even during such a short interval! today definitely wasn't an easy experience. personally, i think it's more due to the coaches/supporters than anything else. the way they yell out scores, fouls, and other assorted remarks directed at the referee is sort of like the refereeing version of backseat driving. right now, it's my #1 deterrent from refereeing any more than necessary. since school will probably keep me busy at national schools period, i'll probably tell the referee director to put my name in reserve, and only call me if they're severely shorthanded.

an interesting development has taken place with UROPS as well. the professor had a short meeting with me after group seminar yesterday. seems like i'll be splitting my attention and time between 2 projects...the one which i'm currently doing now, and the one which i was supposed to do originally. i can't discuss much about the latter, since the professor has kind of sworn me to secrecy about it. but it does look interesting, and i'm supposed to set up a sample reaction tomorrow. the procedure looks easy, but hey, that's what i said about my current reaction. well, this new one SHOULD go better, as i have more experience now.

tuition has been...ok-ish. the sec 4 kid still can't write compounds well, which is mildly worrying. but in fairness, he learns fast and seems to be willing to work. hopefully he'll get the hang of it after a few more weeks of chem spelling. J1 kid is ok with writing compounds, but his mole calculations (still) kind of suck. oh well. it's still early in the year. they'll improve.

refereeing is seriously tiring. i'll probably call it an early night...which is good too, because i have to be in school early to run my reactions and study for the japanese vocabulary quiz. can't catch a break, can i?

-random thought of the day: Felt good to drive after 2 months of public transport.-

*minor update* what's worse than being woken up an hour after you fall asleep? being woken up an hour after you fall asleep by the sheer volume of your parents' argument. what's even worse than that? not being able to fall asleep again. even worse? when you have to get up early the next day. this is yet another reason why i'm not getting married, or having kids in the future.

in more happy-sounding news, the blogger app for iPhone (with/from which this update is being posted) is quite easy to use...though i'll probably only use it for short posts, or as a last resort. prolonged typing on the phone keyboard isn't good for my patience.

now, back to trying to fall asleep.

On the way home earlier this evening, a certain event left me unsure whether i'd been trolled or not. at my block's lift lobby, there was a middle-aged/elderly couple waiting for the lift even before i got there. when the lift came, they got in, and pressed "2". they were carrying stuff, but (in my opinion) not numerous or heavy enough to warrant a one-floor lift ride. but since the man looked old (mid-to-late 50s), the nice part of me that tries to see the best in everyone will give him the benefit of doubt and think that he may have weak knees or something else that prevents him from climbing stairs. still, i can't help but feel trolled.

other than that, school has been school, with the most significant things being UROPS and japanese tutorials. let's do the latter first, since it's less negative. i've met 2 tutors so far. one of them received positive reviews from my friends, plus i quite like her. the other tutor i've met so far is not bad. but it's just that i don't like her as much as the other tutors i've had. that's not saying i dislike her, though. there IS a difference. nevertheless, i think we'll be ok with each other. there's one last tutor i haven't met yet, and there's a 1 in 8 chance that i get my desired tutor. fingers crossed.

after japanese class, i ran into one of the japanese 1 tutors, who's taking japanese 1 again this semester. despite never having been taught by her, she knows my name. makes me wonder if we were investigated to ensure that we didn't fake our declaration of (no) knowledge. was a pleasant surprise, though, that she remembered.

as for UROPS, i've discovered that my previous assumption/presumption that my lab skills were not bad, is wrong. it's not that i'm good in the lab. it's that i'm good at blindly following the lab manual. my independent thinking capability is close to zero. finally, i appreciate what the professor says, that we have to think and question the purpose of every step in the experimental procedure. because changing a reagent means that the procedure needs to be tweaked, and various other parameters do not remain the same, either. it's an important lesson, and i'm grateful that i learnt it early, and on a relatively unimportant experiment, too.

there's group seminar tomorrow, followed by tuition. after that, half day of refereeing on sunday. have to find time to do work and get started on my lab report.

-random thought of the day: Stop oversleeping!-

Very sadly, i still haven't completely recovered from the flu in spite of today being the fifth day i've been sick. still having a persistent cough, which i hope does not become even worse. thankfully, though, the blocked nose has cleared up, which makes breathing so much easier.

it's day 2 of CNY, but there's nothing really special about that. for some reason, i found CNY this year to be...bleh. nothing special. i mean, it was nice seeing the uncles, aunts, cousins, nephews and nieces, but it just seemed to be more trouble than it was worth. i guess the thing that put me off was how much emphasis was put onto creating a false appearance by the sheer amount of cleaning up that went on at home. more than that, i also don't get why people (women) can get so stressed out about cleaning. on the bright side, though, the fridge and freezer are full of fresh (non-processed) food! looks like i'll be able to cook up some more interesting stuff in the next week or so.

to better plan for my future, i went and looked up permanent residency in japan. seems like the criteria is pretty stringent...potential applicants have to do stuff like live in the country for about 10 consecutive years, and contribute to raising the country's standard in some aspect (like fine arts, research, or education). of course, being fluent in the language and not having any criminal record helps too. looks like i really have to work for it if i want it.

another option does exist, though...and that's applying to become a japanese citizen. i'm reluctant to consider that possibility, because japan (like singapore) doesn't recognize dual citizenship. meaning that if my application gets approved, i have to quit being singaporean. renouncing singapore citizenship after doing NS is kind of like giving up my belt in judo...not worth it. but that's still far into the future. assuming i begin staying in japan right after i get my honours, i'll be 35 before i can even consider applying for PR. wow. i can't even imagine myself hitting 27, let alone 35. nevertheless, a bit of early research never hurt. gives me a better idea of what to prepare for.

gained some insights while eavesdropping on listening to a conversation my aunts were having while visiting yesterday. my third paternal uncle's wife was saying that young people (ie. people around my age group) should be encouraged to start a business, or otherwise work for themselves and not be employees. they (we) should also not be afraid of failure because time is on their (our) side. and having lived overseas to more exposed people, my cousin agreed. apparently, some of his overseas friends' parents have been bankrupt multiple times in the past, but are pretty rich today. i can appreciate that. and it's not like i'm afraid of failing. it's just that succeeding on the first time saves a whole load of trouble. you know, a few of my friends were (half-jokingly) tossing about the idea of starting a tuition centre. maybe it's time to consider it a bit more seriously.

school starts tomorrow, and so do tutorials. my schedule is going to become even tighter as a result. have to plan things out more efficiently. and i should probably find time to talk to my UROPS professor, so that i can have a clearer sense of direction for the next few weeks.

-random thought of the day: Have to be on time for tutorial tomorrow.-

Living with me, i think, is not all that difficult. there's just one simple thing i ask: do not move or take anything which belongs to me, no matter how small it may be. you'd think after 10 years (i started being really annoyed by this in sec 2) of living together, people would get the idea, right? well...apparently not. i can live with the fridge not containing everything i desire. i can tolerate endless phone conversations and TV noise when i'm trying to concentrate and do work. but i absolutely hate it when people try to tidy/clean up my area for me. for one, i didn't ask for it. secondly, the organizational system is completely different. it may look messy, but i can usually find whatever i need. tidiness is useless if i don't know where everything is. and this extends beyond my computer area. whoever thought it was a good idea to stuff socks into shoes? don't they realize that the more enclosed space in the shoe promotes bacteria growth? socks have to be in places where the air circulates! seriously...i am really looking forward to moving to japan after graduation.

in other news, i'm sick...though i guess you knew that from the previous post. it's not as bad as last year, but bad enough to make me cancel tuition and pass on lunch with the JC classmates. from the looks of it, the worst has passed, and i should be back at, or at least close to, 100% by tomorrow night. here's hoping.

-random thought of the day: Annoyed.-

Similar to this time last year, i'm falling sick. nose is blocked, cough is getting worse, and there's the beginnings of a fever. i've had flu panadol already, along with large quantities of water. will probably call it a really early night, too. based on current projection, i won't be well enough to give tuition tomorrow. but let's keep fingers crossed in case the situation does improve.

you know, i seem to fall really really sick for a couple of days each year, and remain perfectly healthy until the next year...at least that's the pattern observed starting from last year. personally, i prefer this over having many small bouts of illness all year long. rather get the bad stuff over and done with as quickly as possible. although this year, the timing is kind of good/bad, considering i'm sick over the CNY period. bad because i'm even less tolerant of the festivities than usual, but good because i have an additional 2 days' buffer time to recuperate (in case i haven't completely shaken it off by sunday). at any rate, i just hope i get well again in time for school, and if i'm lucky, a little before that so that i can enjoy some of the CNY break. damned flu season.

-random thought of the day: Sleeping early tonight.-

The festive season is just 3 days away (2 if your CNY eve is festive too), but yet, i'm feeling anything but happy. somehow, i'm beginning to feel that my life is losing its meaning. there seems to be nothing for me to look forward to, at least not in the near future. so depressing. something needs to happen soon...something that shakes things up a bit, and makes me look forward to the next day again.

perhaps linked to that is the feeling (realization?) that i'm losing hope in/with singaporeans. or people in singapore, to be more precise. the way they behave really annoys me, so much so that i'm very reluctant to step out of the house more often than necessary. in fact, i can't remember the last time i had a completely positive experience when going out.

you know what? maybe i need to sleep it off. with some luck, i'll go back to being my normal more positive self tomorrow. but before i go, i just want to share this song. the lyrics are kind of silly/random, and i guess that's why it's one of the few things that have made (well, makes) me smile recently.

Owl City - Dental Care
I brush my teeth, and look in the mirror
And laugh out loud as I'm beaming from ear to ear
I'd rather pick flowers instead of fights
And rather than flaunt my style
I'd flash you a smile of clean pearly whites

I've been to the dentist a thousand times so I know the drill
I smooth my hair, sit back in the chair
But somehow I still get the chills
"Have a seat" he says pleasantly
As he shakes my hand, and practically laughs at me
"Open up nice and wide" he says peering in
With a smirk he says "don't have a fit this'll just pinch a bit"
As he tries not to grin

When hygienist leave on long vacations
That's when dentists scream and lose their patients

Talking only brings the tooth aches on
Because I say the stupidest things
So if my resolve goes South
I'll swallow my pride with an aspirin, and shut my mouth

Golf and alcohol don't mix
And that's why I don't drink and drive
Because, good grief I'd knock out my teeth
And have to kiss my smile goodbye

I've been to the dentist a thousand times so I know the drill
I smooth my hair, sit back in the chair
But somehow I still get the chills

-random thought of the day: I need a break.-

In Ratatouille (the movie), the food critic asks for a serving of perspective. i think that's what i need now. yesterday, i was feeling kind of overwhelmed and in a bad mood due to rushing from lab (where my experiment failed AGAIN) to tuition. but then, i went onto MMT and saw stories about people losing loved ones to assorted diseases and accidents. compared to that, i'd say that i have "first world problems". figured that i need to get myself reoriented, so that i can get my mindset right. and a questionnaire seemed to be a good way to do this, because, as they said, "sometimes asking the right questions is the answer".

1. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?
Umm...i think strangers who look at me would think i'm between 20-25. mentally, i'd say i'm about 27? i don't know. how do you tell, anyway?

2. Which is worse, failing or never trying?
Never trying, unless you fail when failing has very severe consequences.

3. If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?
Because we have to do the things we don't like in order to be able to do the things we like. and sometimes, we run out of time before getting to the second bit.

4. When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?
I hope not...

5. What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world?
People should be more considerate to each other than they currently are.

6. If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?
Full-time judo training. or (successful) lab work.

7. Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?
Mostly the former.

8. If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?
Not waste so much time studying.

9. To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?
Largely. i've made most of the major life decisions myself.

10. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?
Doing the right things.

11. You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do?
Politely ask them why they think that way, and try to change their views.

12. If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?
Turn back! ok...seriously, live your life meaningfully.

13. Would you break the law to save a loved one?
Depends on the exact scenario, but most probably yes.

14. Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?
Don't think so, no.

15. What’s something you know you do differently than most people?
Umm...approach problems or think, i guess.

16. How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy?
Because people have different tastes.

17. What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What’s holding you back?
Live in japan. finances, educational qualifications, linguistic ability.

18. Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?
Kind of...but i don't really think of this thing that often any more.

19. If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why?
Japan. i love (almost) everything japanese.

20. Do you push the elevator button more than once? Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster?
Yes, no.

21. Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?
The latter, i suppose.

22. Why are you, you?
Because nobody else in the world has had the exact same experiences as me in the course of their lives.

23. Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?
I would hope so...

24. Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you?
The latter.

25. What are you most grateful for?
A relatively stable life so far.

26. Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?
The former, if i really had to choose.

27. Is is possible to know the truth without challenging it first?
As a scientist, i'd say no.

28. Has your greatest fear ever come true?
No(t yet, i think).

29. Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset? Does it really matter now?
Yes, it was army-related. and since i'm out, it doesn't matter any more.

30. What is your happiest childhood memory? What makes it so special?
Spending time with my grandparents. it's special because i couldn't recreate it even if i tried.

31. At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?
I...don't know.

32. If not now, then when?
Eventually?

33. If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?
What you had before, i guess.

34. Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?
Yes.

35. Why do religions that support love cause so many wars?
Because of the way people interpret the teachings.

36. Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?
In some cases, yes.

37. If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job?
Probably not, because the money probably wouldn't last my entire life.

38. Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing?
The latter, provided i'm not overwhelmed.

39. Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before?
Not really, no.

40. When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?
My exams? Or applying for UROPS.

41. If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?
My relatives, good friends, and probably someone else to make peace.

42. Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous?
No, because i don't know my life expectancy. besides, my looks and fame don't mean much to me.

43. What is the difference between being alive and truly living?
Truly living is enjoying being alive.

44. When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right?
When you strongly believe in what you're going for.

45. If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?
Because it's often easier (and less messy) without mistakes.

46. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?
Be braver, more expressive/honest.

47. When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?
Before sleeping at night.

48. What do you love? Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love?
Considering that i've been in the lab practically every day, i think it's apparent what my love is.

49. In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday? What about the day before that? Or the day before that?
Not in great detail, but i probably will thanks to blogging.

50. Decisions are being made right now. The question is: Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you?
I'm making my own decisions.

oddly, that didn't help as much as i'd have liked. nevertheless, there are valuable takeaways, like i should be more proactive, to name just one. still, i'm now feeling better about school-related things. maybe it's because i'm more rested, thanks to the 11 hours of sleep i got between yesterday and today. looks like i really need to manage my time better...and spend less time in the lab.

i did mention that part of the reason i was so stressed out was due to rushing to tuition. which reminded me that i should blog about tuition. the 2 kids i'm tutoring are at different standards. ironically, the younger kid is (in my opinion) more advanced. he seems to grasp concepts more easily, but that could also be because i tend to spend a bit more time with him. the older one (J1 this year) still has problems with mole calculations. not good, especially for a HCI student. well, i hope he'll get the idea after the practice questions which i've assigned.

oh! here's something slightly more interesting. there's a new opening theme for naruto (well, not exactly new by now, but still...). after reading through the lyrics, i realized that i could understand one complete line, and bits and pieces of others! since i haven't done a lyrics post in more than a year(!), i think i'll share the song here:

tacica - Newsong
ああ、歪なメロディーて出来た　愛されるべき生き物だ
成果は上げられなくても　心が歌っているから
ああ、どれだけ強い雨越えて　愛されるべき生き物か？
約束が守れなくても　心は歌っているけど
どのドア　ノックして開けたらいい？
開けたらどこへ向かったらいい？
１人じゃ帰れないから
誰かを待っていただけ
キミが今　一番　会いたい人は誰？
心の中でだけ話せる人の数は増えていく
だから　強くなりたかった　只
僕等　まだ読み足りない物語
無理矢理　終われない事分かってて
誰も皆　自分のまま
強くなりたかったから

romaji
Aa, Ibitsuna merodi ite dekita aisarerubeki ikimono da
Seika wa agerarenakutemo kokoro ga utatte iru kara
Aa, Dore dake tsuyoi ame koete aisarerubeki ikimono ka?
Yakusoku ga mamorenakutemo kokoro wa utatte iru kedo

Dono doa nokku shite aketaraii
Aketara doko e mukattara ii
Hitori ja kaerenai kara
Dareka wo matte itadake

Kimi ga ima ichiban aitai hito wa dare?
Kokoro no naka de dake hanaseru hito no kazu wa fuete iku
Dakara Tsuyoku naritakatta tada
Bokura mada yomitarinai monogatari
muriyari owarenai koto wakattete
Daremo mina jibun no mama
Tsuyoku naritakatta kara

translated
Ah, performing twisting melody the lovely being
No matter there are no results songs ring in my heart
Ah, how many rainstorms I have to go through to become a lovely being?
No matter promises are not fulfilled songs ring in my heart

Which door should I knock?
Which direction I should go after I enter?
I keep waiting for someone
Because I can't go home alone

Who is the one you mostly missing?
More and More people are becoming my good friends
Therefore I want to become stronger, but
We do not understand this story
So we cannot force to complete it
As all of us are following
Our own ways to become stronger

by the way, this isn't the full version of the song; just the one used in the opening. don't think the full version's been released yet. also, the translation's kind of ungrammatical, but i can't edit it that much because i don't know if i may mess up the meaning. when listening to it while watching naruto episodes, i only caught various words, like "song", "door", and "knock". but upon reading the lyrics, i saw "キミが今　一番　会いたい人は誰?", which (from japanese 1 knowledge) means "who is the person you most want to meet now?" guess my listening and speed-reading skills still aren't up to scratch, because i only realized that that was what it said after reading through the lyrics slowly. and sad as i am to admit it, following the romaji is still MUCH easier than the kana. but i suppose it's to be expected. after all, i've (formally) learnt english for 14 years, compared with 3 months for japanese.

the coming week should be a little bit more stressful than last week, since regular lab is starting. as mentioned previously, i'll have to adjust the time spent in UROPS lab. and sometime in the week, i'll be meeting my cousin (who has graduated from monash and is back in singapore) for dinner. should be nice.

-random thought of the day: Apparatus cleaning tomorrow!-

After spending close to 2 weeks in the UROPS lab, my self-confidence has taken a severe beating. i can live with not knowing everything and asking people for help. the thing that bugs me is that i can't get a simple reaction right even after 4 or 5 attempts. what's worse is that the reaction is easy. heating or precise control or anything like that isn't required at all. guess my lab skills aren't as good as i thought they were. thankfully, though, all this experience has warmed me up for the normal lab module. i'm anticipating an easier time relative to my non-UROPS friends.

i wonder, though, am i being too hard on myself? after all, it's only been 2 weeks since i started work. i'm not expected to be perfect that quickly (am i?). even the professor said this was a training period. and yet, i don't think my expectations are too high. i'm not really a perfectionist, but i guess i can't accept not being good at something i like. selective perfectionism.

one thing that's kind of in the back of my mind is that i may have signed up with the wrong supervisor. it's not that he's bad or anything, but is research interest is different from mine. you see, he researches into synthesis methodology, which is repeating the same reaction on different molecules. no offence intended, but i personally find it kind of boring. i'd much prefer total synthesis, which is making molecules using a variety of reactions. well, it's good to know this now, so that i can make any necessary plans for honours year. going to end the post here for now. will probably add on tomorrow.

-random thought of the day: Must have better time management skills.-

Hunger and fatigue are battling inside me now. well, that's a kind-of melodramatic way to say that i'm hungry, but too tired to rustle something up. sure, i could microwave something or make instant noodles, but the convenience comes at the cost of being less healthy. hang on...looks like hunger won.

ok...due to the lack of real cookable food in the house, i gave in and microwaved something up after all. though i didn't intend to talk about it originally, i guess now is a good time to mention that one of my secret wishes is to have a home with a fully-stocked fridge, which will have ingredients for anything i may want to cook. yes, i know it's silly, and it could have been left out of this post, but i thought i'd just share.

coming back to the main post, it's been only 3 days into the semester, and my time is already more or less equally divided between home and school. i mean that quite literally; i've averaged about 11+ hours per day in school so far. to think that normal labs and tutorials haven't started yet. can't imagine my schedule when those get factored in eventually. there is, however, a good side-effect of these long days. my sleeping hours are now really regular. like, i'm in bed by 11:30pm latest, and up at or before 7:30am. one step closer to my healthy lifestyle goal.

at this point in time, i basically know all the key personnel for my modules, with one exception: my japanese tutors. the lecturers are generally ok, though i have slight misgivings about the transition metals lecturer. who spends 1 hour talking about metallurgy, alchemy, and philosopher's stones!? i may kick myself if any of those things come out in the finals, but i doubt they will. organic reaction mechanisms is pretty ok for now...mostly stuff we know already. i figured that i should have an early lunch on tuesdays and fridays, otherwise i'm going to fall asleep in the lecture, as yesterday proved. japanese is quite standard. same lecturer, and possibly same tutors. i only say "possibly" because we haven't balloted for tutorial slots yet. content-wise, we've started on new stuff already. to think i was hoping for a nice, slow orientation lecture. bleh.

the "normal" lab module hasn't started yet, so i'll leave off mentioning it for now. but as for UROPS lab, that started like last week. in the 8 days of being there, i've been more or less orientated/familiarized with the lab layout, as well as the procedure for the reaction which i'll most probably be doing for the entire semester. add 2 reagents, catalyst, stir, slowly add in another reagent, leave for long time, stop reaction, extract, dehydrate, filter, concentrate, column, get product. based on the past 3 days' experience, i have to start the reaction later in the day, then leave it overnight. the next day, packing the column is the first order of business, before i go off for tutorials or other assorted classes. then, i can run the column in the second half of the day. or alternatively, i can pack the column on day 1 before going home. should try that soon. might be more efficient than the first method.

other than taking up most of my time, there is another negative side to UROPS. compared to my other non-UROPS friends, i probably will be in worse health than them in the future, due to my (unavoidable) inhalation of and contact with various solvents and chemicals. i don't want to jinx myself, so here's hoping my health is not too adversely affected by lab work. and as a minor point to health concerns, i think i should start wearing more comfortable shoes. standing almost all day in my current shoes is hurting my feet. good thing that CNY is a couple of weeks away, i guess. discounts should be all over the place around this time.

so...my schedule is more or less set. japanese tutorials on monday, wednesday and friday, lectures on tuesday and friday, lab on thursday, research group seminar on saturday mornings(!), and UROPS in most of the remaining spaces. as much as possible, i'm trying to avoid doing complex/tedious/time-consuming lab work on lecture days. in the best-case scenario, i would avoid going to UROPS lab on those days altogether if possible. it really is quite rushed, despite the 2 hour breaks which i've made allowance for. not to mention that i have to find time in the day to study for the other modules as well.

lastly, a quick non-school update. my earphones arrived! so happy. they work well so far, and i'm pleased with them...though there is a little issue with the ear insert things. can't seem to find a comfortable size. maybe it's just my ear canals. but that's a minor issue. just need to get one more accessory, and phase 2 of operation healthy lifestyle can begin.

-random thought of the day: Nice NMR spectra are difficult to obtain.-

Yet another quick update, because i'm still tired.

so far, UROPS isn't that stressful. my first experiment kind of failed (tiny yield), so i'm hoping that the second one goes better. if this one goes bust too, then it's my lab skills that suck, since my mentor has performed it before with satisfying results. keeping my fingers crossed.

right now, my semester looks kind of busy. any thought of having a free day has been thrown out of the window, so it's a 5-day school week for me. i suppose it's about time, too; this will be my second semester (out of 6) in NUS when i've had classes every day. guess i should be thankful for the 4 semesters' worth of free days that i already enjoyed. on the bright side, though, it makes my concession more worthwhile.

the reason i'm tired today is not UROPS (for once). instead, it's refereeing for the IVP competition. all in all, it was a good experience, and i'm grateful that i can sleep with a clear conscience. the (new) referee director says we did all right, so that's ok i guess. obviously, there's always room for improvement. my main problem is that i tend to use an overly-harsh tone when addressing the contestants. that's because i forget that they're new, and it may be their first competition. though i must clarify, being inexperienced is not really an excuse, because the coaches should have taught the etiquette already. must be the pre-match nervousness i guess. anyway, the takeaway for me is that i should be nicer to the competitors, and be more observant when throws are being executed.

school starts tomorrow...but that's kind of bleh news when i've been going to school even before that. next week will probably involve a lot of pain on my part, because i have to wake up early every day for lectures and/or NMR training. why did i sign myself up for 8:00am lectures again this semester!??

-random thought of the day: Going to sleep early tonight.-

Deciding to take UROPS might be the best or worst decision of my university life. from the looks of it, i'm in for a semester of hard work. the acclimatization process is kind of awkward, but it'll pay off in honours year, since i would have already been familiarized with the people and the lab, as well as received the necessary training in the various machines. for now, i definitely need to get used to longer hours in school again. elaboration will come soon (i hope); i'm too tired to write in detail now.

-random thought of the day: Things don't always go smoothly.-

Chances are that you're seeing this post after new year's day. it's not your fault; i started writing it late. but hey, at least it was started on the first, right? anyway, in addition to the usual resolutions, i'm going to do something new this year, namely prioritizing the various aspects in my life. with any luck, this will serve as a reminder/guidance, and let me check whether i'm focusing too much on something relatively insignificant.

topping the list is definitely academics. since my primary occupation is a student, it's natural for me to focus most on my studies. and if there ever was a time i really needed to focus on my studies, now would be it. this semester (well, this year, really) is not going to be easy. for the first time in my NUS studies, i'm taking more than 3 core modules at a go...and i have to get my A- average to make sure that my CAP goes above 4. not impossible, but definitely not a walk in the park. and while i don't want to look too far ahead, honours year (which will start around august) is probably going to be tougher then year 3. so, fingers crossed.

second priority would be work. this is so high up because of my own wish to be as financially independent as possible. since i decided to stop coaching, all i have left are tuition and refereeing. between the two, refereeing would come first, because there are only a few judo competitions, and tuition scheduling is normally more flexible. speaking of tuition, my current 3 (well, 1 + 1 probable + 1 potential) kids seem to be enough, though i would not mind having 1 or 2 more, provided i haven't overestimated myself and can handle them.

third is myself. i realize that i have to check on my own (mental) health more often. things like spending a quiet day by myself, and remaining mostly uncontactable (except by my UROPS supervisor) when the need strikes. as well as finding appropriate avenues for stress relief. of course, not forgetting to satisfy my odd cooking urges when they come up.

the social aspect takes fourth place. no man is an island, after all. it's sub-divided into several smaller groups. let's see...my social circle isn't that wide, so i have family, NUS chem kids, ex-JC classmates, cat high old boys, NUS judo friends, SJI/CJC judo juniors. of course, there are some overlaps, as well as groups i didn't mention, but that's the main split. (not-so) coincidentally, that's their approximate order, too. figure that i should hang around with more people of my age group. not to mention i can't always be there for the juniors, either. they'll survive, with or without me.

at the risk of sounding egoistic, "myself" appears again at #5. this time, i'm referring to my physical self. i have to take better care of myself, in terms of fitness and health. i have long known that i require lots of motivation when it comes to exercise. hopefully, now that my schedule looks emptier, and with the existence of the circle line, i can better plan my time to fit in workouts here and there throughout the weeks.

at present, i can't think of anything else, so let's move to resolutions. since i started categorizing already, i'll do that here, too.

[school] get my CAP above 4 and keep it there.
[school] perform well for UROPS.
[school] attain (relatively) decent proficiency in japanese.

[judo] maintain my technical knowledge.
[judo] make a hip throw, minor throw, sacrifice throw, and at least 2 other techniques my own.
[judo] be an impartial referee.
[judo] attend NUS training once a week minimum during semester time.
[judo] apply coaching techniques to help my self-analysis.

[tuition] be patient with the kids.
[tuition] prepare adequately before each session.
[tuition] be prompt in communication, and be accountable to the parents.

[lifestyle] maintain a healthy lifestyle, by:
[lifestyle] sleeping before 12:00am, especially before 8:00am classes.
[lifestyle] doing my own physical training on top of judo.
[lifestyle] eating healthily, and in moderation.

[general life] not dwell on things which i cannot control.
[general life] remember the good, forget the bad.
[general life] save before spending, and spend within my means.
[general life] be careful and alert when driving.
[general life] know my limits, in all applicable areas.
[general life] have more confidence in my decisions.
[general life] be happy.

well, that seems like quite a lot to live up to, doesn't it? nevertheless, i believe it can be done. just have to be stricter with myself. i have a pretty good feeling about this year, partially because is a dragon year again. if the world isn't destroyed yet, i'll have completed 2 zodiac cycles by my birthday. since this is my year, things can't go too wrong, right?

-random thought of the day: Optimistic.-