29 February comes about but once every 4 years, so it's my tradition to write a post, even just a short one, so that the date appears in my archives. haven't missed a year yet, i think.

since i've already started a new post, might as well update everyone very very briefly. there's been a breakthrough in research. finally got the reaction to work, and am now going to link it to platinum. done one compound, which looks promising. too bad i ran out of the platinum part. just made more, and will do the second half tomorrow. minor annoying point: i think i messed up one other reaction. but never mind; i can throw it away and restart. there's sufficient starting material.

things with the date are mostly good, although there has been a very tiny shaky spot, in that the date still has some reservations about us going official. even though the breakup with the ex was about 3 years ago, it seems that the date still has difficulty trusting potential partners. not saying that i'm not trusted, but i guess not at the kind of level that i'd like. but well...people have wounds that may not be immediately apparent, and some of these wounds may still be healing after 3 years. i figure that me wanting to make it official soon might be a bit intimidating to the date, so i'll have to remember to not mention it as often. actually...we're in a pretty good place now. i should remember to appreciate the process of building a relationship, instead of looking towards the end all the time. wait, that's wrong. getting into the relationship proper isn't the end. it's a whole new beginning. anyways...lesson here is to take things easy, and not to give the date pressure.

right, that's it for this update. time for bed.

-random thought of the day: Old men should know when to give up their power.-

Looking back, the past few posts all seem to be falling within the negative end of the spectrum. so, i think it's time to brighten things up a bit by blogging about yesterday and today. there will still be some negative bits as i talk about the process, but the much more positive stuff should offset that by the end of the post.

yesterday was valentine's day, and was the first valentine's day in 27 years that i wasn't single. ok, i suppose i'm still considered to be single if you want to be really strict about definitions, since the date and i are not official yet. but that's not the point. it being the first time that i had a valentine's date, i decided to pull out some of the stops and spoil the date a bit. originally, the date hinted that dinner at wine connection on sentosa boardwalk would be nice, but later backpedaled on that decision as they thought it might be expensive. i had actually done some groundwork after the suggestion was brought up, and it turns out that there was no additional cost...just a $50 deposit which would later be deducted from the final bill. but since the date specifically told me not to reserve seats, we turned to plan b, which was a picnic at some location. we settled on marina barrage as the some location in the end. i was the tiniest bit apprehensive at first, considering how our last trip to marina barrage (on national day last year) ended, but decided to put those fears aside. after all, it's a different time, things between us look good with no signs of any instability so far. so that was the location settled.

since i'm the more kitchen-savvy one between the both of us, i'm usually in charge of food for our picnic dates. this time, i decided to try my hand at salmon ravioli, after the not-so impressive experience at pastamania. to mark the occasion, i even got heart-shaped pastry cutters! thankfully, i'd had some experience with making pasta in the past, so i more or less knew what to expect. plus, there was no waiting time for dough to rise or anything, so the cooking time should have been short. even then, things didn't go as well as i'd hoped, sadly. for one, i learnt that there are only so many times you can re-roll fresh pasta before it dehydrates and becomes tough/brittle. a bit wasteful, considering how much left over there was after cutting the ravioli out. next thing i learnt was that it's best to minimize the time between cutting and cooking. because if you leave them too long, the moist filling soaks into the pasta and weakens it. as a result, the pasta tears much more easily upon handling. also, the time between the initial boil and finishing it in the sauce should also be minimized, or they should be transferred directly from the water into the sauce. what i did wrong was to boil them first, then start on the sauce. by the time the sauce was ready, the pasta had stuck together, resulting in even more tears. well...it's a learning experience. worst case, i'll just market it as pasta hearts with salmon! ...or i would, if the hearts were still distinguishable. i do get points for effort, right? thankfully, the pasta was cooked just right, plus the salmon was cooked through as well. cream sauce disguised most of the cosmetic imperfections, and we had to tear into it anyway, so not much loss either way. no major issue. most importantly, the date seemed to enjoy it, only commenting that it wasn't salted enough. i had to agree. think my taste buds weren't working properly as i was recovering from a cold.

in addition to the food, i also got a bottle of sweet red wine from my friend, who had a lot to spare (he ordered 24 bottles for free home delivery). and to complete the meal, i also went to tanjong katong to get honey lavender ice cream, which we first tried on a date, and both liked. although i had prepared dry ice to keep the ice cream cold, it seems that the insulated takeaway box kept both heat and cold out, and the ice cream melted normally. we opened the box to find mostly-melted purple ice cream soup. didn't take away from the taste, though. on top of the (shamelessly self-proclaimed) nice food, things went in our favour as we enjoyed great weather, caught a pretty nice sunset, and even saw fireworks! it was coincidentally the last day of the river hongbao event, so they had a short fireworks display that was visible from the barrage. lucky us! i'm particularly thankful for the weather, as it had rained at my place in the afternoon, then at the date's place when i went to pick them up. seems like rain totally bypassed the barrage, as the ground wasn't even wet! and even though some dark clouds came in midway through our picnic, the clear and windy weather held out.

rounding off the valentine's day celebration, i also got flowers for the date. it seems a little weird to those in the know, but i figured that since the date once mentioned what kinds of flowers they liked (lilies and champagne roses), i should use the information well. it turns out that it was a good decision, as the flowers were the only thing that truly caught the date by surprise. somehow, they had guessed that i'd be bringing wine and ice cream. i can understand wine, since they did help me carry it after i'd collected it from my friend. but how on earth did the date guess the ice cream, and the exact flavour at that!? i gave absolutely no hint that i would include it in the meal. oh well. going back to the flowers, i knew flower prices would be jacked up on valentine's day, but this went beyond my imagination. nevertheless, it was something i could afford, and it's our first valentine's day. plus, i knew that the date would like them, so i just went ahead with it. there was a bit of a scare, as the flower shop had miscommunicated the availability of champagne roses, so i went to look for an alternative, and discovered the far east flora wholeseller just after upper thomson. luckily, i was saved further inconvenience (and cost) as the flower shop managed to source for them in the end. but now i know where there's a cheaper source of flowers, for future reference. it seems that a side benefit of dating is that i'm acquiring knowledge that will be useful even in non-dating life...like more familiarity with the roads, where to find certain things (flowers being the example here), learning new cooking skills, etc. etc.

after the picnic and enjoying each other's company for a few hours last night, i sent the date home as usual. at their doorstep, i told them that i was beginning to fall in love with them. it's not a rash thing, fuelled by emotions from valentine's day. as you'd know from previous posts, i'd been thinking long and hard about how to know when like transitions to love. and my assessment was that while like happens based on attraction, love is more of a decision. so i guess i decided to start loving them...though a part of that still doesn't sound right to me. perhaps i'll write them a letter soon where it'll be explained more clearly. to my relief, it was taken well enough, with the date telling me that i hadn't scared them off. the date has told me that due to past negative experiences with the ex, they don't put much stock in words any more. so i guess i'll have to show them somehow.

continuing the nice weekend, we went out today as well! yes, i know it's monday. the date had taken leave, and i decided to do so as well. our first stop was vivocity, where the date wanted to use up some h&m vouchers. we ended up getting 3 shirts, 2 of which were for me. i still don't know how their shopping trip turned into a shopping trip for me. thankfully the vouchers tanked most of the damage. shopping was followed by lunch at monster curry. the original plan was to revisit stateland cafe for their insane truffle fries and kimchi carbonara (and to check out arab street), but the date decided to save that for another day instead. monster curry was good! it's only my second time trying their stuff. we got a giant plate to share, and still had a bit left over. having gotten a good feel for the ramen egg, my next goal is to try making onsen (hot spring) eggs. already saw a recipe on youtube; doesn't look that difficult. as with the ramen eggs, the keys seem to be timing and temperature. will probably try it with the leftover eggs from pasta.

we had time to kill after lunch, so we walked around vivocity for a bit, then decided to go to kombi rocks, which is a cafe/restaurant-type thing serving mostly thai food. their unique point is that they have lots of vintage cars, motorbikes, and even the iconic volkswagen hippie van! it's located in front of a private estate in the serangoon area, which meant (1) free parking and (2) a certain tranquility in the air. we had light bites of fish tofu (lightly fried and not oily) and thai-style otah (delightfully spicy), since lunch wasn't too long ago. being in such an iconic place, we took a couple of photos too, of course. we rounded off the day with a short trip to west mall, before sending the date back.

you know, today is the most perfect day i've had in a long time. i think it's partially due to us being off on a weekday, so the crowd was much thinner, and the roads weren't as packed. side benefit is gloating internally at schoolkids and people who aren't off work. the other contributing factor is spending the day with a special someone. going to the private estate near kombi rocks, i had a sudden flashback of feelings. it really reminded me of december holidays at my cousin's place. life was quieter, more idyllic back then. no expectations, no deadlines, just living as we liked and taking each day as it comes. of course, i know that my current finances don't permit me to have that kind of lifestyle (at least, not for long), so i guess it'll just be an occasional treat when we both can afford the leave. at least we still have our regular weekend dates, which are nice as well. at the end of the day, i think i can overlook all the moron drivers, inconsiderate people, crowds, and anything else that ticks me off, as long as i'm out with the right people...of whom the date is one.

my work week starts tomorrow, so i should be sleeping early tonight. time to resume the routine of early gym before lab. this CNY and valentine's day is the last festive season we'll have for a while. there's no public holiday in march to my knowledge, so i guess good friday in april? until then, it's time to put my nose to the grindstone in preparation for the QE. although i'm really happy now, there's a little ache in my heart that wants time to freeze on this perfect day, or to repeat it again tomorrow. but to look at it from another perspective, having too many perfect days makes them ordinary, and as such, reduces the wow factor, making them less perfect than if they come around only every once in a while. with that, i shall take heart that this is unlikely to be the last "most perfect" day we'll have, and that there'll be more of such days in the future. for now, i should log in to final fantasy for a bit. have to get my daily missions done.

-random thought of the day: We seem to be overwriting bad memories at certain locations.-

Seems like i've subconsciously been making a list, entitled "reasons why i dislike CNY". although i've blogged about not feeling the spirit several times over the last few years, this year is the year i think the spirit finally died. aside from dinners with the date and the chem kids, i didn't do anything festive at all. no visiting, no stuffing myself with snacks and other food, no interaction with relatives. to be honest, i actually prefer it this way.

i think i'll go ahead and explain why exactly i don't particularly care for CNY. bear with me if you've heard some of this before. for me, the first reason is because businesses take advantage, and use the holiday to jack up their prices, and/or stay closed for extended periods of time. i don't begrudge them the latter, since i'm sure they need their rest and all that, plus the festive atmosphere may be a disincentive to work. there is one exception to that, and that's displaying their regular working hours when working on a shorter schedule. it's like cheating the customer. but well, i can still swallow that, since it's their loss if they don't want my business. the thing about jacking up prices, however, is a bit more difficult to accept. to my knowledge, CNY is the only holiday where prices go up. most stores have christmas discounts, father's day specials, etc. i think it might be because of chinese people being business-minded or something. regardless, it's not illegal, just not nice, i guess. even then, i'd be able to accept it if they'd just do it for the 2 days of public holiday, instead of a week (or more) before and after. makes no sense, you know?

this next thing might be a point of contention for some people, so i'll just use my case as the example. i personally find it pointless to maintain contact with relatives who only gather over CNY. it's so superficial...like, you see them once a year, perhaps more if there's a wedding or funeral. that's it. for the other 364 days, you don't hear a thing from them. why bother? to me, if you're genuinely interested in your relatives/friends, you'd arrange to meet them now and then, not just on special occasions. furthermore, for my relatives at least, the cousins are all so much older that i don't have much in common with them. perspective: my oldest nephew is in army now, so you can kind of guess how old his parents are. i think you can see how this makes it even less desirable to ask them out for random lunches or dinners. thankfully i still have about 5 cousins within 4 years of my age, and - no surprise - the 2 cousins with whom i communicate the most are in that smaller group.

more traditional-minded people like my dad would argue that family is #1 no matter what, you're stuck with them since birth, and that in times of trouble, you can only turn to them for help. i agree that family is important. i also agree that you can't choose your biological parents (or if you can when you're still in heaven or wherever, i must have forgotten making that choice). but at the same time, i would add a qualifier, and that's the definition of family. i personally feel that your biological relatives and the people whom you regard as family need not necessarily be the same. i further believe that we are in control of our lives. no doubt, the only choices a person can't make is being born, and to whom s/he's born. perhaps it's my desire to be in control of my own destiny acting up, but whatever the reason is, i believe that a person can define his/her own family, and that need not include biological relatives. just think of adoption. if a kid grows up knowing adoptive parents instead of biological ones, i'd go as far as to say that the latter have no place in the kid's life. sidetrack: it amazes me how people can give their kid away for adoption, and still demand money from the child if s/he grows up to be successful.

anyway, i'm digressing too much. maybe one day i'll organize my thoughts on the whole parent/child thing, and use it to explain why i think having kids is incredibly selfish, and why i'll never have kids. but not today. today, i want to talk about my sense of accomplishment at learning some new things, but i can't disclose what these things are yet. not until tomorrow is over, at least. i suppose that given the timeframe, it doesn't take a genius to figure out that these things are valentine's day related. but well, specifics tomorrow. right now, i've prepared what i already can, and will have to do the finishing touches tomorrow. hoping that things go smoother than they did on the date's birthday. i don't want to make anyone wait.

-random thought of the day: Need to blog properly.-

Anger is the dominant emotion i'm feeling now, due to 2 events that happened as recently as within the last 30 minutes. first was a moron driver, second being that somebody moved my things. i'll talk about the moron driver first, i think.

despite being after 8:00pm, traffic was still rather slow. the rightmost lane was slower-moving than its neighbour, which always annoys me. i looked ahead a few cars, and saw that someone was driving slowly, with a clear road in front of them. conclusion: that person is holding up traffic, and road-hogging. it's my impression/belief that drivers in the rightmost lane should be travelling close to (or sometimes, maybe even slightly over) the speed limit. DISCLAIMER: i'm not advocating speeding. makes me wonder: why do slow drivers like the fast lane so much? this isn't taiwan, or america, or china, or whichever other country that has traffic opposite to singapore's. perhaps driving next to the central divider gives them a sense of security, like they know that they're in lane. why not use the left/side divider, then? because the driver's seat is on the right. i guess i can see that logic. although if a person's driving skill is so bad, or if they are so unsure of their skill that they have to use such a method and cause inconvenience to other drivers, perhaps they're better off not being on the roads.

but that's still swallow-able, especially if i'm not rushing for time. worst case is i high beam, and/or overtake them from the left and go on (rude gesture optional, but trying not to under the date's influence). so while having slow drivers in the fast lane annoyed me, this next thing made me contemplate causing serious bodily harm. so what happened is that along lornie road, some distance before it becomes upper thomson, there's an exit onto some flyover/viaduct that eventually leads to bishan. being the law-abiding singaporean that i am, i will filter into the leftmost lane early so that i don't miss that exit or have to do outrageous filtering maneuvers (note: "re" at the end is also acceptable, and is how i learnt to spell the word, but it seems that "er" is the new standard). so there was this motorcycle, who wanted to cut in right in front of me. like literally right in front. to the rider's credit, the signal was on, but it was too late. perhaps blind spots were not checked. and bear in mind, the motorist already going straight in a particular lane has right of way over anyone else who wants to filter in, except against police, SCDF, and ambulance, who always win. naturally, i high-beamed, and we got close enough to touch each other. how do i know this? because as i went past, the driver reached out and tapped/hit the rear of my car.

i know the date is always telling me to be nice, and to avoid cursing and all that stuff...but i swear, i was looking around for stuff to throw out of the window in hopes of hitting that bugger. ended up not finding anything, which was a pity. had i been more of the quarrelsome/reckless sort, i'd have done something like "accidentally" bump into him, or tail him to his location to "settle" things. after all, car beats motorbike any day in terms of speed, durability and stability. and although i'm not the type to get physical without VERY good reason, i think i can hold my own in a fight. but i'm not that volatile, so i settled for flipping him off. if/when i tell the date about this, and they tell me that i should have let it go, i will very politely disagree. it's all fine when it's just taunts and gestures, since the most is feelings are hurt. but when contact has been made, things are about to go down. to make things worse, the motorcyclist was cowardly enough to stay a few car lengths behind me, and only flip me off in return after our paths diverged when i had turned into bishan. if he possessed more guts, he'd have rode alongside me to do it...at which point i'd wind down my window and break his finger. no, i'm kidding...somewhat. it's this kind of people who are playground bullies, or internet trolls. since they don't dare to do things up close and personal, they do things only when they're backed by the safety of distance, numbers, or anonymity. to go into hokkien for a while, KNN sibeh humji PCB leh! knowing that such people exist, and even standing a chance of meeting them, makes me want to carry around a few flasks or water balloons filled with something non-toxic, but either staining or pungent.

readers of this blog may not be surprised that i get angry when people move my things without asking. after all, it's happened a fair few times, and i've expressed my extreme displeasure about it. ok, extreme displeasure is a gross understatement. let's try fury. this is, i think, one of less than five things total in the world that can really make me lose my temper. my honours student repeatedly asking me about experimental procedure only elicits annoyance and at the worst, frustration. even moron drivers don't make me see red this way. what readers may get surprised by is the fact that it happened AGAIN. i'm in the midst of packing for the move, which is scheduled for about march-ish. admittedly, i haven't been all that diligent about it, and my area's a mess. nevertheless, that does NOT give anyone else an excuse to touch anything, especially without asking me beforehand, or telling me to do it myself/setting a deadline. so as i got back earlier, i opened the front door to see that all my boxes and stacks of stuff that i had sorted into "to throw", "to take", and "think again" piles had been "reorganized". consequently, i flipped. i'm neither proud of nor embarrassed by it. it was just my reaction. i don't care how much feelings have been hurt. the way i see it, i'm not in the wrong. AT ALL. actions have consequences, and being a moron and moving my things has the consequence of being met with my rage.

of course, i'm not unreasonable. if this was the first time, i'd still show my displeasure, but to a much lesser (or even non-existent) degree of hostility. it's not fair to crucify someone on their first non-life-threatening transgression. take note that this has already happened 3 or 4 times MINIMUM, and people STILL don't learn!!! at this point, i'm starting to seriously wonder what i must do to get the message into their thick skulls. maybe cracking aforementioned skulls might be a good start. i've always believed that there are limits to stupid, but this either proves me wrong, or the limits are much much further/higher than i'd thought. even a dog can be trained to sit upon command, you know? how can a human being not recognize such cues, and continue to do stupid things despite being warned?

just had a long long talk with my dad. he came in just as i finished that last paragraph, and we talked for an hour. "we talked" meaning he spoke 80%, i spoke 20%, thereabouts. not that i mind. while he did raise some fairly good points about compromise, personal cultivation and reacting to bad situations, there were also things that we did not see eye-to-eye. i realize that his thinking, while easygoing in some areas, is still rather largely set in traditional chinese/confucian philosophy. it's...not exactly worrying, but there are areas where our perspectives clashed. to keep things brief, these disagreeable things include the concept of "face", the expectations of a family, and the concept of respecting one's elders. will elaborate on that separately in the future. that aside, i also got a much-needed boost as he reminded me that my priority is to finish the degree. all in all, i wouldn't call it an unpleasant conversation, but it was by no means enjoyable.

have you ever got so angry you started showing physical symptoms? my stomach started to hurt a while ago, and it's not because of gastric since i ate on time today. shows how much i'm affected, i guess. should sleep on it; that might help a bit. do i regret anything about these 2 incidents? well, i regret not getting the license plate of that damned motorbike, or not at least causing the rider some form of inconvenience. and i regret getting angry. not because of anyone else, but because i'm suffering from physical discomfort as a result. looks like spending CNY in lab is a wise decision.

-random thought of the day: Even tolerance has its limits.-