How would you identify a toxic relationship? to me, it's one where one party is clearly suffering as a result of the other party's unreasonable actions. by that definition, my relationship with the ex was bordering on toxic, though i wouldn't go that far. i'd settle for "unhealthy". but that's not the main point. the main point is that there is a toxic relationship that i'm part of right now, and it's with the judo federation. i had a chat with the referee director last night, and it seems that they are doing their utmost to prevent me from coming back to referee. there was a memo released by the IJF some time ago, asking all its member organizations to disaffiliate from kurash. the federation took that to mean that all people remotely associated with kurash aren't allowed to do anything for judo. i could go into a whole rant about why that's a stupid interpretation, and why it's not only stupid, but wrong. but i'll save that for when i talk to the management. as i told the referee director, i am prepared to escalate this to the asia level. if other countries can have high-level judo referees also refereeing in kurash, why is singapore the exception to the norm, where such heavy restrictions exist for being just a national referee??

another thing he told me was that in terms of overall referee rankings, i am somewhat behind. i get it, especially after not having refereed for 2 years or so. but he also said that my ability was somewhat lacking. it would be presumptuous of me to refute this, since he's a continental judo referee. to be fair, i do know that i have areas to improve on (getting annoyed when the competitors fail to obey instructions being a major one), but i really do wish to hear what he think i can improve on. personally, i feel that my scoring is fair and reasonably accurate, i know how to handle about 90% of situations that could possibly crop up, and i conduct myself with a decent level of professionalism. then again, i could be biased. besides, in my defense, i don't think i can be all that bad, since i'm an international kurash referee. lots of skills are actually transferable between the two...pity that they're too narrow-minded to see that. well, the plan now is to talk to the management and see what they decide. i am not threatening them when i say i'd take it to the asia level if necessary. as with my relationships, i don't like bluffing to scare people.

enough about that for now. it still riles me up to think about it. i'll just see how things go, and take it from there. what's of slightly more concern is that i'm not going to make the 30 march (or 02 april) deadline for my thesis submission. i'm more or less mentally prepared to not get back the $1200 or so, which sucks. but well...if sacrificing that amount of money means that i can submit a better thesis, i suppose it's worth it. i've shifted some things around in the completed chapters to make them read more smoothly, and got most of the supporting information up. the new target is between mid- to end-april, which means an extension of between 2 to 4 weeks. my absolute deadline is...may? august? but i don't intend on dragging it for that long. have to start the process of submission already, including completing a few forms that have to be submitted some time in advance of the actual thesis. perhaps i should have done this earlier, to give me more motivation to finish more quickly. oh well. what's done is done.

the pen bug has kind of bitten me again. my last (expensive) pen purchase was in 2016. so i guess that perhaps it's been a while coming. i'm not into too-flashy stuff, and the most outstanding pen that i've bought is a clear blue model, from pilot. the pen that's caught my eye is completely black, and features a plastic body with certain titanium parts, and a titanium nib. the filling system is patented and unique though, and that's one of the main attractions. based on that description, what do you think the price is? i'll give you some time to think.
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on the website, a model with my desired customizations is listed at about 570 euros, which converts into about SGD900. to put that in perspective, this is for a pen, and doesn't even include the ink! all it does is write. my phone, which costs only about $200 more (and even then it's considered to be on the expensive end), can make calls, send messages, connect to the internet, take photos, navigate by GPS, and interact with nearby devices through NFC capabilities. on top of that, my phone has a stylus which writes almost infinitely without the need for ink refills! so why am i even thinking of spending so much on something like that? because it's nice, i guess. am i prepared to pay that right now? not really. while i DO have enough money, it would be better put towards other purposes, like basic living expenses and ensuring that my savings aren't depleted as quickly. maybe as a graduation gift to myself, after i'm positive that everything went well. and to be completely honest, that's not the most expensive pen i have my eye on. a slightly larger model (with some differences) goes for 731 euros, which is over SGD1000. insane! i can't really justify that unless i'm making above $6000 a month. and even then, i'd probably spread out the damage by saving $250 over 4 months, or more likely $500 over 2 months, given my less-than-patient nature. i'll focus on working towards the cheaper one first.

my body is slowly deteriorating. not sure whether it's because of the accident or because i've been sleeping in weird positions, or because i haven't been exercising, but i'm getting lots of aches and pains. it's probably a combination of all 3 factors. my toes still haven't healed even after close to a month, and my left shoulder is starting to hurt. there's a bit of upper spine trouble too, which i'd previously been able to alleviate by cracking it out, though that's becoming less effective. i should schedule that TCM appointment sooner than originally planned. will probably have to wait until after submission, or at the very least until after all experimental work is done.

guess that's all i have for now. was looking into a few other money-sucking projects, like computer upgrading, overseas trip planning, and getting back to the gym. it's all a matter of prioritization. i'm sure that with some tuition income, things will be a little easier. have to start thinking of finding a temporary job that starts in may. my friend did mention a postdoc/RA position in his former lab, but i'm really not sure that i want to continue this research life. maybe i can arrange with the professor to be a lab manager or to focus less on research. or maybe my aunt will employ me as a delivery driver. regardless, i'm sure things will work themselves out. just have to be more cautious in spending. i've actually worked it out. apart from the big purchase of the phone, i've been averaging spending about $500 a month. the killer comes from the $1200 or so that goes into my investment plan, but that's just enhanced untouchable savings. i'm actually surprised at how little i spend. the average figure of $500 a month is actually lower, since i forgot to count the taiwan plane tickets and associated expenses as another big purchase. the actual figure is probably around $300 a month, or $10 a day. not bad!

-random thought of the day: Remember to spend SAFRA vouchers!-

Man flu is real, people! funny how i handle physical and emotional pain better than something as trivial as the flu. i suppose it's the level of discomfort. like last night, i was tossing and turning for half an hour before i fell asleep, only to be awakened by one of the juniors calling me at 1:30am regarding a document. who calls so late!?? after being awoken, it was more tossing and turning until i fell asleep at about 5:00am. woke up at 10:30-ish am feeling totally rotten. that didn't improve throughout today, even after i downed a couple of flu panadol almost 2 hours ago. this comic sums up my attitude towards illness pretty well:

of all the times to fall sick, this is probably one of the worst. there's the thesis submission, as you already know, and as if that wasn't bad enough on its own, i'm involved in a small segment of the NATAS trade fair. we're partnering with the uzbekistan embassy to promote kurash as part of their tourism campaign. i was supposed to be the emcee/narrator for our segment, but i don't know if my throat will allow me to talk. we'll see how it goes. thankfully, i have enough people on standby, such that i don't have to do anything during the exhibition. but i'll do my best not to slack off. still have to pick the mats up on thursday, which i should be able to handle solo as planned.

this sickness makes me even less certain about meeting my thesis submission deadline. progress has already been delayed due to a minor HPLC fault, and now with this bout of sickness, finishing experiments by 30 march does not seem possible. i'd estimate my chance of submitting on time at around...20%. that's kind of sad. i'm projecting a end-april submission at the latest. so i guess that $1200 will buy me about a month's time, or however long it is i take to submit after 30 march. logically, i should stretch it out as long as i can to minimize the cost per day. but screw that. i want to get out ASAP. i guess the minimum i would wait is a week to a fortnight, just to make myself feel better that i didn't blow $1200 to buy just one day or something.

i'm doing all i can to shake the sickness off. that includes taking flu panadol, drinking plenty of water, and eating a few oranges. western medicine says that oranges contain vitamin C, and are therefore recommended for when you have a cold/flu. but chinese medicine says that eating oranges causes phlegm, which is not something you want when already sick. who to believe? i went with western this time round, as there are lots of leftover CNY oranges in the fridge. hope the benefits of vitamin C will negate any potential phlegm buildup. should probably sleep early...that is, if i can get my nose clear. so weird that i can't sleep with one side of my nose blocked. wonder if it's because of reduced air intake? hoping that i can go into lab tomorrow. need to get my compound and look at the NMR for the publication.

-random thought of the day: Frustrated.-

12 days to go between now and submission. it might be extended to 16 days, due to the actual submission date being at the start of a long weekend, but i'm not counting on it. better to prepare for the worst-case scenario, right? now that we are this close to the deadline, i have a sinking feeling that i won't have all the data ready in time for submission. for one, the compound is still being synthesized. there is progress, and once i get this intermediate, there are just 1 or 2 steps until the final compound. thank goodness i was thorough enough and checked the supernatant liquid, not just the precipitate! that's being purified by HPLC. even then, having the final compound ready, along with the requisite biological and chemical tests, will be a tall order. it seems like my $1200+ will be lost. or more accurately, it seems like that amount of money will not be gained back, since it was lost the day i paid the fees. good thing that my budget plans aren't dependent on this sum of money.

progress is more than 80%, though i should probably knock a few points off because i have to restructure my introduction. my postdoc's feedback was that it wasn't structured well enough, and skipped here and there. I do see what she means, after she explained it to me. that will probably take half a day, tops, so not too worried there. also modified chapters 2 and 3 a little, and i think i still have to draw some figures properly. luckily, chapter 5 was mostly ok, but that's because it had been (and still is being) submitted as a paper. speaking of which, we're sending it to a low-ish impact factor journal...like its numerical value is 2.6 times less than that of the first journal we submitted to. regardless, a publication is a publication. just have to give them some additional characterization data, which i should be able to get by the deadline.

car update: i've returned the vios, and am back to a(nother) honda fit which my mechanic friend lent me. he retained the license plate of the old fit, which i suppose made it easier to remember for paperwork purposes. this fit is a kind of light blue, and is not all that different from the old white one. the biggest difference is the audio system, which is now a touchscreen interface compared to the old analog knobs and buttons. there's an option for USB input, but i cannot for the life of me find the USB cable to connect my phone to the audio system. maybe the required peripheral wasn't installed. and there's no auxiliary option either. well...it just means that i'll listen to the radio more; nothing i can't handle. the investigation doesn't seem to be progressing. i just got a letter yesterday, which was a formal notice that investigations are being carried out. this is 5 weeks after the accident, mind you. i should explore avenues to expedite the investigation. two such avenues which i'm considering are calling the investigating officer for an update, and asking my MP for help. i don't think that i'm being unreasonable...i have not had my car for a month already. to be fair, there was an error in reporting the accident, and the new investigating officer got handed this case only 2 weeks ago. it isn't his fault for the delay. yet, he'll probably have to put in extra work to make up for someone else's mistake, which sucks for him. that's assuming he's considerate towards my plight. i expect that he's just going to do things at his normal pace, but i hope to be pleasantly surprised and proven wrong.

the injuries are healing, but slowly. my toes still hurt when i flex them a certain way, as does my ankle. i'm experiencing occasional weakness in my right hand, which is weird. my left shoulder has also developed a little stiffness, though i don't know if that's as a result of the accident, or me sleeping in a bad position. the plan is to have that checked out by a TCM clinic which my cousin recommends, but with my deadline approaching, that probably won't be done until april earliest. thinking of going to see a chiropractor too. been watching videos on youtube, and i think that i could use a whole-body cracking. wonder if these non-standard therapies are claimable from insurance?

my teacher friend has been really great in referring tuition assignments to me. the assignments themselves, however, have been questionable. like this HCI international kid, who decided not to continue after 2 sessions and didn't inform me beforehand. his mother ended up calling the agency, who told me that since they exceeded their one free trial class, i'd get paid for the one extra session. the second job, an NYGH girl, is going better, but she's had to cancel two weeks in a row. that means no money for 2 weeks! depressing. and my spending account is running low. lucky my savings can still sustain me, but i should look into something a bit more regular. perhaps not a full-time job, given my plans to take some time off for my mental recuperation, but something that will give me a steady (albeit reduced) income for the next few months. maybe my aunt will hire me as a delivery driver?

do i have anything else to add? oh yes. judo. so the referee seminar was cancelled. i will give my referee director friend the benefit of doubt, and believe that it was due to low interest or some other legitimate reason. i remember reading somewhere about a method of dealing with this kind of things: first time is an accident, second time is a coincidence, third time is a pattern. doing some research on google has turned up that this line was adapted from goldfinger (yes, the james bond novel). mildly surprising. but i shall adopt that mindset towards the judo world. i'm still hoping that things don't turn ugly...but let's see how it goes.

for now, i'll just focus on getting my compounds. if the one i'm purifying right now works, that will save me a whole lot of work. though the good scientist in me wants to get the other molecule out, because it looks better and is more or less guaranteed to work, my desperate grad student side just wants to get something/anything and be done with it. fingers crossed that everything goes well.

-random thought of the day: Hoping everything goes well.-

Weird dream record #2: my friend, who's currently studying in the US, came back to Singapore and visited me at my bishan place. He told me that he was stressed out about his degree, and flew back just for a few hours to see his friends and family. It seemed that his university gave him 2 options: start studying seriously to make up the credits and graduate this semester, or drop out. I offered him encouragement and told him that he used to give me fierce competition back in secondary school. He also told me that he's picked up judo, and he can't believe the standard of the people running the federation (I think this was my own subconscious projection). I seem to remember our clothes matching as well - pink and grey. A conflict happened with someone whom I don't talk to, and my friend took my side. Then, he had to rush to the airport to catch his flight back, and I woke up. Considering that this is the first time in my memory that I've dreamt about this particular friend, I actually sent him a message on Facebook just to check in and see how he's doing.

He replied me a few hours later, and told me that things were going great for him, so my worries were unfounded. Maybe it was a result of my own fears and doubts. I'm happy that he's doing well, and am hoping that he comes back to visit this year. Come to think of it, he should have graduated already, right? Maybe he's found work there. Regardless, I'm happy for him.

-random thought of the day: This was another phone post, and the first post on my Note 8!-

Good day today! got the few final pieces of data to wrap chapter 3 up. all that's left is the synthesis for chapter 4, and some basic cell assays if i get the product. i'll be cutting it really close, especially since my postdoc did advise me to reorganize some of the completed chapters. guess i'll have to do experiments and editing concurrently. should be manageable.

to update on the car situation, my mechanic took the honda fit back as it was due for scrapping. goodbye, mr fit. thank you for your service and for helping me in my time of need. i've been lent a toyota vios as a stop-gap measure until they can assign me a more permanent car while investigations are ongoing. driving the vios is taking a little getting used to. the speedometer is right in the middle of the dashboard, so i have to adapt to that. i'm suspecting that the car is modified, because it accelerates really quickly! i find myself unknowingly speeding, and having to ease up on the accelerator, or even brake to be in line with the speed limit. a typical vios has a 1.5L engine, but i'm finding it to be more powerful than my 1.6L civic. is toyota's technology that good, or have i just forgotten the power of my civic? hmm...i wonder. or maybe my muscle memory of having to step harder on the accelerator for the honda fit hasn't worn off yet.

investigations on the traffic police end will take a while. it'll be a week tomorrow, and i'm apparently going to have to wait for 3 to 11 more weeks after that. hopefully it'll get resolved soon, and i can claim the other party's insurance. the annoying thing is that the traffic police deems this case as non-arrestable, ie. they can't issue a warrant for the other party. this is because i didn't get 3 days' MC, and i didn't take the ambulance from the scene of the accident to the hospital. all they can do is issue a notice in the police gazette, so that if the driver gets stopped at a roadblock, only then will the police take him in. how sucky is that!?? lesson learned. should this happen again next time *touch wood*, i'm just going for an ambulance ride.

on the topic of interesting conversations, i met up with scary JC friend on the same night i landed. she asked for something from taiwan, and i managed to find it. we talked about several topics, among which included someone from taiwan whom i found super attractive (nothing's going to come out of that), and malaysian person. she is of the opinion that i shouldn't be in such a hurry to confess to malaysian person, since there won't really be anything solid coming from that anyway. i mean, we're in different countries, so if we do decide to give things a go, something has to change. like, i drive up, they drive down, or one of us moves. all of those options seem really unlikely at this point in time. i guess it's the same as what i've been telling myself - see how things go and take action when appropriate.

another interesting conversation was with the kids after kurash training. i am honestly surprised at their level of openness and comfort with me, considering we don't see each other all that often. then again, i did go to macau with some of them. thankfully, most of them are mature enough to handle a serious conversation topic. and i think i taught a few of them today not to ask questions which had answers that they did not wish to know. i have a good feeling for kurash. the people are generally less complicated than people in the judo federation. and there's an implicit level of trust between us, which i find to be reassuring. it heartens me that some of them are really passionate about getting kurash up and running. i guess this is what the coaches mean by grooming the next generation of leaders. to put it in more generic terms, it's succession planning...which i don't see happening for judo. but well.

despite some advice against it, i've agreed to rejoin as a referee for judo. i figure that since the federation said they want to start on a clean slate, and since the new referee director is my friend, i should be open enough to giving them a chance to see if they mean what they said. if not, then i'm going to do something drastic. but that's still some time away. my goal for judo is continental referee by age 35, hopefully going up to international eventually. although considering the number of singaporean international referees over the past 20 years (1 total), my hopes aren't too high. well, let's see. as i've said before, i don't think that i'm a worse referee than 90% of the referees at my equivalent rank. and i know for sure that none of the other B-referees have any international refereeing experience. so i should have confidence in myself, but not let it become complacence.

bedtime. going to finish writing chapter 3 tomorrow, and check the identity of one intermediate for chapter 4. if it works, then it's one step until the final compound. if it doesn't, then there's going to be more painful syntheses awaiting me. also having dinner with public enemies 1-5 of the judo world tomorrow, then guild house with the closer chemistry guys on wednesday, and judo referee seminar on friday. again, i'm hoping that the federation lives up to their word. i would hate to have to do a dirty laundry kind of post in the future if i feel that i'm being treated unfairly.

-random thought of the day: Getting busier all of a sudden.-

Advance warning: as much as i attempt to stay away from politically and religiously-sensitive stuff here, there will be one opinion that may trigger some unhappiness. do remember that it is only my opinion, and you are entitled to disagree with it as much as i have the right to express it. if there is disagreement, please be civil about it.

i'm back from taiwan! for a first visit there, i was suitably impressed. pity that due to the rushed nature of the trip, i didn't really get to do much sightseeing. what i did see, however, was impressive enough. let's run through everything, then.

my plans went pretty smoothly...did some lab work, made it to the airport in time, and linked up with my friend who was also going for the course. the flight was about 4 hours long. i found it tolerable, though my friend found the seats a little too uncomfortable. guess he's been spoiled by full-service air travel. upon touching down in taiwan, we were met by the organizers and taken to our accommodations. the first thing that struck me was the weather. it was so cool! i think the average temperature hovered around 20 degrees for the duration of our stay. the next thing was the traffic on the roads. i'd previously known that the direction of traffic flow in taiwan is opposite to singapore, but i didn't realize how disorienting it would actually be to experience. i think i must have looked the wrong way when crossing the road at least 90% of the time while i was there. didn't get hit by any vehicles, so that's a plus. our accommodations were decent enough. twin room with attached bathroom, TV, mini fridge, closets. the mattress was a little hard, but the comforter was amazing. it did an amazing job of keeping in the heat, which was nice for the cold nights. the accommodations cost USD50 per night, which i think is a little overpriced. let's compare across a few different places at similar price points. in japan, i stayed at a hostel for JPY2800 (about USD26) a night. that was an 8-person room with minimal amenities, though. a closer comparison would be a twin room at hotel chuo, which goes for USD64 to USD85 (USD32 to USD42.5 per person) depending on the season. in singapore, something more budget-friendly like hotel 81 costs USD64 per night (USD32 per person). so, it seems that the taiwan accommodation was a little overpriced. but let's not forget that they also provided 3 meals a day, plus transport to and from the airport. seems more reasonable in light of that. the rest of day 1 was just spent getting settled and exploring the vicinity. we walked like mad! it turns out that the premises contained 3 universities, the sport university which we were going to for the course, a science and engineering university, and one more medical-related one i think. it was amazing. i fulfilled my active step quota easily. we also stopped by several convenience stores for snacks. my friend got hooked on tea eggs from hi-life, which i have to admit, were very flavourful. i think i ate more eggs in my 4 days there than i would in a week in singapore.

the referee course began on day 2, with a lecture session in one of the LTs. they even moved tatami mats there, set up a small competition area, and had student volunteers on hand so that we could better demonstrate certain points in techniques and stuff like that. it was extremely informative, and i was suitably impressed. the afternoon session was more of the same, but we reviewed certain case studies as well. was a little overloaded by the information, but thankfully i had some experience in judo refereeing to help absorb the new knowledge more quickly. my friend seemed to cope well enough, which is impressive considering that this was his first international experience. the organizers brought us to shilin night market for sightseeing. it was crowded. like, REALLY crowded. strangely enough, i didn't feel as much irritation as i would have if it had been in singapore. still, it's probably not something i'd want to experience twice. we tried a few famous taiwanese food items, including bubble tea, fermented tofu, and oyster omelette. fermented tofu was a new experience for me. i'd previously only seen it on TV shows like bizarre foods, where the host would use rather unappetizing terms to describe it. for instance, "smells like feet and sewage". worse, some of them gag, retch, or throw up. i'd always brushed that off as them being western and not knowing how to appreciate asian food. after all, they typically don't like durians and century eggs as well, the latter of which i personally find quite tasty. not to mention is that i like most fermented food too. turns out that in this case, i had to agree with everything they said. the smell was bad. not unbearable, but certainly not appetizing. it's essentially the smell of rotting food. lucky there were some pickled vegetables to help with the process. i had to hold my breath and chew/swallow for my life. well, it was a new experience. just one time is enough in this case.

day 3 began with refereeing practice, and i think that things went reasonably well for us. i'm reminded that everything is relative. there were some others who didn't know the basic commands, which helped put those who did in a better light. my key takeaways from the morning session are to calm down and go slower, points that have been mentioned before to me at local judo events. guess it was the nerves from the occasion. practice sessions 1 and 2 were fine, but the exam didn't go as smoothly. they threw me a couple of curveballs, the first being that the players went to the wrong starting positions. second was that one of the players tied his belt wrongly, like he doubled the length of the belt on itself and tied a simple knot. that escaped my attention unfortunately, but the corner referees caught it. i think that caused me to freeze. the examiner caught it, and asked me to referee another bout, which went more smoothly. i'm grateful that he thought highly enough of me to want to push me to be better. with the exam over, we went to the federation president's house for the farewell party. it was an insane experience. the president himself is a medical doctor, and his wife is a professor in bonsai. did you even know such a title existed!? the house was really grand and beautiful. it doubles up as a bonsai museum too, and per square metre, i think it puts the botanic gardens to shame. the party was great, really lively atmosphere, everyone was laughing and generally having a good time. i overdid it a little by getting totally wasted...worse than the epic drunk experience at my friend's place, which was the previous benchmark. in my defense, this iranian guy (who has been living in taiwan for 20 years and speaks amazing chinese) kept forcing wine on me. i think i downed about a bottle's worth of red wine in 3 hours. that led to REALLY loosened inhibitions, significantly improved linguistic skills, increased singing ability, a bout of throwing up, messages to random people (thankfully not the ex), and (amazingly) no hangover the next day. the one saving grace is that i don't think that i made (too much of) a fool of myself. and lucky that my friend was there to take care of me. don't think that i'll be drinking that heavily for a while. in fact, it was only the third time in my memory that i have thrown up due to excessive alcohol intake.

since our flight out was at 3:50pm the next day, we (i) had enough time to recover from the previous night, pack, and sightsee a little. we just walked around the campus, and i bought some animal food to feed the fish, ducks, and pigeons that were hanging around the lake. yes, they have a lake, complete with its own mini-island in the middle. since i was still feeling not at 100%, we didn't do too much. made it to the airport in time, caught the flight back, and ended our trip on a good note.

now, for some maybe controversial opinions. it was my first trip to taiwan. and i think that a good tagline for taiwan's tourism campaign is "what china could have been". yes, i know that it would never be adopted. but seriously. i doubt that taiwan can compare to mainland china in terms of economic indicators. taiwan does beat china in intangible aspects, like in the behaviour and attitude of the people, plus the culture. taiwanese people are so nice! like, there was an instance on our second day there, then i was walking a little bit quickly on the footpath to the venue for the seminar. a mother and her child were walking ahead of me, and as i caught up to them, the mother told the child, "come on, move over and don't block the way". that is probably the first time i've experienced that. brought a little surge of happiness to my heart, and gave me hope that the next generation is being brought up right somewhere in the world. i definitely have plans to go back to taiwan, if not for kurash then for a holiday. currency is pretty good in our favour (TWD1000 = SGD45), and prices are generally cheaper too. not only that, the environment is better too. like, the air is cleaner. as you may know, i'm allergic to dust. i didn't itch at all while i was there. but after one night in singapore, i can feel the itching flare up in the usual places. my friend too, said he felt stronger while we were there. somehow i felt more motivated to train. might be the combination of being in a sports university, the lower temperature, and the fresher air. well, we are thinking of organizing a joint training camp with them, so hope things work out.

right, i think that about covers the taiwan experience. there's more to blog about, including a few interesting conversations. but for now, it's back to the daily grind of getting results. excluding today, there are 22 days left. i can do it!

-random thought of the day: Travel really broadens horizons.-

Panicking just the slightest little bit because IT'S MARCH! i am behind my projected schedule for thesis progress, which is why i'm grateful that i had the foresight to start early last december. and i'd also like to thank my 2 minions, as well as past me, for saving most of the essential spectra that i ended up needing. have to repeat one NMR, but that's already good, considering the number of compounds (intermediates included) that i have to report.

list time again! here's what i have to do for each chapter. i figure that this will give me more focus.

chapter 3:
2 reduction studies in buffer solution
1 NMR for characterization
write up reduction study
look through supporting info again

chapter 4:
make the damned compound - 2 promising routes left
reduction study on the compound
cytotoxicity assay on the compound

there are 25 days left for me to work with between now and 29 march, which is my submission deadline. i wonder about that...since the actual deadline is 30 march, and it's a public holiday, the nice thing for the department to do would be to extend it to 2 april, ie. the next working day immediately after the holiday. should ask the department staff. although today is 1 march, the initial statement of this paragraph is not an error. yes, i know my maths sucks, but i'm at least capable of basic counting. i'm flying to taiwan tomorrow morning for the kurash referee course, and coming back on monday night. looks like there will be nights spent in the lab this month. i suppose i could always wake up early to go in, but nah. not going to risk oversleeping or fighting with traffic. well...a possible scenario is that i miss the submission deadline, meaning that i will have until this may (or august?) to submit. that also means that i lose the refund for half my school fees, to which i'd otherwise be entitled. it's not really a small sum...we're talking 4-digit figure here. is that amount of money worth it for another 3 or 5 months' grace? not sure, but i'm leaning towards no right now. that may change, depending on how experiments go. an almost-inconsequential other thing to consider is that by submitting it after march, i'll more or less definitely miss out the chance to go for commencement with the other chemistry guys, who are attending this year. not that it really matters, nor does it affect my decision-making process at this point in time.

just attempted to talk to malaysian person again a couple of days back. it seems that they're not picking up on my heightened interest in them. this means 1 of 2 possible things - (1) they're really dense, and are not getting the signs/hints. (2) they're not interested, but are too polite/thoughtful/shy/something else to say so. call me infatuated/smitten, but i'm still choosing to believe that it's option 1 right now. that's also based on the tone of their replies in our conversation, which hasn't turned hostile or irritable (yet). i guess i won't think that's it's a rejection until i'm explicitly told so. to be fair (or to give myself another excuse), i haven't confessed either. so it's equally my fault that there's essentially no progress.

one incredibly annoying thing about owning a note 8 is the lack of good screen protectors, and the incompatibility between certain screen protectors and cases. the case that i bought together with the phone happens to be one of those that fit rather snugly, and consequently will push up the edges of certain (most) screen protectors, leading to air bubbles. worse still, due to the curved edge of the phone, some screen protectors only have glue around the perimeter. the combination of tight case and perimeter-glued screen protectors means that the edges can get pushed up, allowing dust or other particles to get trapped in between the protector and the phone. there's one such spot visible on my screen now, and it's rather gao-ek (uncomfortable/irritating) to see. i've bought a tempered glass screen protector that adheres to the screen by means of a liquid compound that spreads between the screen and protector, and only becomes sticky upon exposure to UV light, thus bonding the protector to the phone. it's a bit too late to apply it now just before i fly, especially since the instructions said that excess liquid (solvent?) will leak out from the seam of the joined areas for up to 24 hours. so i'm going to have to live with the spot in my current protector for the duration of taiwan. no biggie. just wondering if i should take a small sample of the liquid for NMR analysis, just for science and curiosity.

right...time to wrap up this post and conduct a final check. goodness, i need to find a new pair of travelling earphones. my last pair, the klipsch s5i, were super durable. they went with me to australia, new zealand, and japan (twice!), and remained perfectly functional. how unfortunate that they got destroyed by a rat in the student room. after that, i think i took a pair of the standard samsung earphones to bali last year (which shows typically how long a time passes between my overseas trips). they were ok, but i didn't really use them much anyway. not to mention i had mistakenly left them in the jacket which i asked my uncle and aunt to bring back for me, so i had no discreet entertainment on my own flight back. might bring that pair again, or i did see another more atas-looking pair in the box with the stuff from the car. not too keen to bring my bluetooth ones, because that'll be another device that needs charging. plus, i won't be on earphones for the majority of the trip there. mental note: bring souvenirs for the people there. for my final check, i've packed my clothes, passport, devices and technological paraphernalia, water bottle, keys...i figure that since it's such a short trip, forgetting stuff won't kill me (too badly). what's left to do between now and my flight? last last check, clean up my room a little, turn off all my electrical outlets, shower, hug all my stuffed animals. reach school by 2:00am-ish, and run at least one HPLC reduction study, do a work-up, maybe write a bit more for my thesis. then get a grab for 5:45am to take me to the airport by 6:30am, in good time for my 8:30am flight. sounds nice. i guess that'll do for now. if everything goes according to plan, i'll be back on monday night as one of (only) three singaporean international kurash referees. see you all!

-random thought of the day: The thought of flying still makes me mildly nervous.-