Kind of interesting/timely that i blogged about signs in the last post, because in light of some recent developments, things that happened over the past few months can be interpreted as signs of a different kind. but before i elaborate, i should remind myself that nothing new has been confirmed as of yet, so i may have read too deeply into some things.

last you heard from me (and last i heard from official sources) was that the status of JET is still up in the air. the deciding factor on if we would be able to go this year or not was whether or not japan relaxed travel restrictions towards singapore by 30 september. that's today, by the way. as of the time i'm writing this post, there has been an announcement that japan was going to relax travel restrictions to singapore, but that it would take place from october. does it count, having an announcement made before the deadline, of intent to relax travel restrictions after the deadline? i don't know. that's why i had to put that disclaimer/reality check up there to avoid getting caught up in the moment and ultimately being even more disappointed.

the other piece of news that gives me hope is that some current JETs in japan have received word that there would be new arrivals from australia, new zealand, and singapore coming in this year. to give some credibility to the statement, an australian shortlisted JET posted that he had received news from his embassy that his placement was being arranged. of course, i'm skeptical, because this was on reddit, and there's no way i can verify anyone's identity or claims. it could be some people trolling, but i don't know either way. i guess we choose to believe what we want to believe.

with the news that JET could be happening after all, the rejections and non-responses from the various IP firms over the past month or so suddenly don't seem so bad. in fact, i might even interpret that as a sign that i should pursue JET, then go into a career in IP afterwards. the 2 or 3 years in japan would give the economy time to recover, which means that my chances should be better in the future.

in addition to those major signs, there have been some other minor signs that i interpret as leaning towards it being time for me to leave singapore. things like the car starting to make funny noises when turning (might not be a good idea to sell it to my uncle now, considering), and my computer freezing for the first time ever last night. of course, there's nothing scientific about it, and it's highly subjective...even more so since i want quite badly to go this year as opposed to next year, so that's influencing my thoughts and judgement.

all that aside, i need to focus on things that i can do now. the most obvious thing is to seek clarification from the embassy. i sent them an email just before starting this post, so i'm hoping that they'll reply soon, like within today or this week. more than that, i'm hoping that they'll reply with good news. considering the time of the year, news that i'm headed off to japan would be the best birthday present that i could possibly receive. well, it would be the next-best present after a hundred million dollars in cash and/or assets, but let's be realistic. i'm grateful for good timing, that my gym contract just finished, and i can now terminate my membership without a notice period. my tuition contract is up for renewal at the end of the year, which means that i can choose not to renew it if confirmation of my departure for japan comes in time. but before all that, let's wait for official news from the embassy. and as much as i don't want to think about it, i should also plan for the scenario in which my departure is deferred to next year. well, i say "plan", but there's honestly not much to plan for. i suppose i could ask for a one-year training contract from an IP firm, but that's subject to whether they're willing to entertain the idea.

side note, my nose cleared up. i'm left with a bit of a cough though, so that's not good. sucks when you exhibit symptoms that are the same as those of the pandemic. i actually wonder how people with a fever (COVID-related or not) get in to see the doctor at my nearby mall, since there's temperature screening? maybe they tell the security person and get escorted to the clinic. anyway, i think that i should take my mind off this whole thing for a bit.

-random thought of the day: Mildly nervous.-

For some reason, i developed a runny/blocked nose earlier today. it was so sudden, too! like, i was fine this morning, and even in the early afternoon when i met a few cat high old boys for lunch. it was only on the way home in the evening that i started sneezing like mad and felt the mucus build up. thankfully, i reached home before the symptoms got bad. i don't know why this happens. it's a regular-ish occurrence too, like i'll experience this once every few months. my current hypotheses are that it could be because of a change in weather, that my dust allergy got triggered, something made it past my immune system, or there's something else i'm allergic/sensitive to and don't know about. thankfully, it usually clears up in a few days, to a week maximum. the recovery process sucks, though. not being able to breathe properly means that it's more difficult to go to sleep and stay asleep at night.

lunch was an interesting event. a senior old boy had met one of my schoolmates, who's running an eatery in SMU. knowing that we graduated in the same year, he set up a lunch there. i knew this old schoolmate of mine from bowling, though we never shared any classes together. we were cordial/friendly with each other, but never really close. in fact, we didn't have contact after graduating from cat high, to the point where we didn't even know that we were undergrads in NUS at the same time! but he was in engineering, while i was in science. anyway, it was nice to see him and to catch up. makes me wonder what happened to some of the other guys what i haven't seen since that 10-year reunion event in 2014, or even since graduation. there's one guy i've been trying on and off to locate, but he's proven to be elusive. all i know is that he went to NYJC after graduation, but the trails stops cold there. there's another guy who i used to like in lower secondary, but he didn't reciprocate my feelings. ok. to be honest, it was mostly physical attraction, but nothing was ever going to come out of it. story of gay guys' lives.

a few other interesting things happened over the past few days. the second round of job applications didn't result in any interviews, but i had an organization agree to keep my resume on file in case a position opened up. separately, a director of another company to which i applied wrote back and declined to interview me in view of current circumstances. she was so kind/gentle about it, too! what's more interesting is that she agreed to talk to me if i had questions about a career in IP. i took her up on that offer, and sent her a follow-up email. i think that that was a very nice gesture. based on this interaction alone, i think i'd like to have her for a boss. but COVID's not helping things.

you may know that i'm a great believer in signs/omens. you may not know that pilot (the pen company) releases a new limited edition of it's retractable fountain pen (the capless, or vanishing point) every year. how are these 2 pieces of trivia related? well, i half-jokingly promised myself that i would get myself this year's limited edition pen if i made the rankings in game. as you know from a previous post, i made it. but that's not the sign i'm referring to. i actually dragged my feet over it quite a bit. there are only 2020 pieces of the pen available worldwide (corresponding to the number value of the current year), and the local pen shop announced in august that the stock that they brought in would go up for sale on 01 september. ranking finished on 18 september, and i delayed asking about it until yesterday. i figured that since i was going to be nearby to collect my mended shoes anyway, i would just call the pen shop and enquire about stock availability for the hell of it. and wouldn't you know it - they had just one left in stock, even after 27 days! if that isn't a sign, i don't know what is. so, i'm now a proud(?) owner of a limited edition vanishing point pen. this model, to be specific:

it's quite understated and the textured barrel provides an interesting tactile experience. most importantly to me, it's retractable, so there's no messing around with screw caps, which would attract unwanted attention. at this point in time, i haven't decided if i want to use it or keep it as a collector's item for possible resale at a higher price some time later. there are many different models of this pen in circulation, so i'm sure that i can get one for regular use. well...no rush. this is something that i can sit on for a bit.

this story actually leads off into 2 other less exciting things. as briefly mentioned, i went to collect my shoes. i sent in 2 pairs for mending - my lab shoes, the sole of the left one having disintegrated midway through tuition some weeks back, and my more formal work shoes, the soles of which split off from the upper a long time ago, and which i had clumsily glued back on so that i could continue using them. the repair job was done amazingly! i wore my resoled lab shoes to lunch  today, and they feel super solid. still have to adjust the tension on the laces, which had been untied during the mending process. they're slightly elastic, and i had them at the perfect balance of being tight enough to securely hold on to my foot, yet loose enough that i could slip them off quite easily (with the help of the stretchy laces). my interactions with the cobbler were nice all around, so i don't know why the shop got some negative reviews. maybe someone else served the other people, or people's expectations of time weren't met. i'll be honest, they had to push my collection back because my shoes simply weren't done in time. but i was ok with it, as i didn't have an immediate need for them. i can see how someone who did need their shoes back urgently would be upset with that.

since secondary school, my preferred pen line width has been 0.5mm, or a "fine" equivalent. it's mainly because my writing at that time was kind of cramped and cursive, so a finer nib width helped to make the loops in letters like "e" stay visible and not get confused with say, "i" or "c". that preference for fine nibs carried on when i started messing around with fountain pens. only recently did i decide to be a bit more experimental with nib widths, and that leads to the second less exciting thing, which was that i got a stub nib. it was ground by this guy who's self-taught, and who i believe is doing this on the side as extra income. i met him in person to test the nib, and he was quite cute! so that was a nice bonus. very briefly, stub nibs give different line widths depending on whether it's a vertical or horizontal stroke. the one i got is 0.8mm vertical, 0.3mm horizontal. still messing with it a little and getting used to writing with it, but i like what i see so far.

ok, going to call it a night here. pressure is building in my sinuses, which is making my eyeballs hurt. i'm also sneezing with some force, and i think i might have pulled something in my shoulder as a result. hope this random bout of illness clears up soon.

-random thought of the day: Let sleep come easy tonight.-

So, the interesting call happened. how it came about was that after learning about the rejection from this second IP firm, i emailed my interviewer to ask why the company decided not to proceed, and what i could have done better. to my immense amazement, he replied! it was a couple of weeks later, but the important thing is that he replied. it was honestly quite shocking, because rejected candidates more often than not do not even hear from the companies that rejected them. i count myself fortunate that he was willing to spend some time to talk to me.

the feedback he gave was constructive, for sure. a lot of it was to do with my interview skills, because he thought that my answer regarding why i left my previous job was weak. the lesson here is to put a positive/less negative spin on the facts, without lying. i also learned that the first IP firm has a bad rep for the way that they treat their trainees. it's validation, in a way? but that's going down the path of negative thoughts again.

as an added bonus, he also suggested that i look into applying for jobs that weren't exactly IP, but closely related - things like regulatory affairs or technology transfer. that's something which hadn't occurred to me before, and might be worth further exploration. i haven't found entry-level regulatory affairs positions so far, so i'm not sure how far that will take me. guess i have to keep looking.

on the back of that call, i sent out my second wave of applications...including to the company with really bad reviews. my reasoning is that it's just another door, and ultimately i have the choice of whether or not to accept the offer (assuming one is given).

it's tough, though. another thing he said was that i had to provide good/convincing explanations for gaps in my resume. but at the same time, companies are freezing headcount (or worse, downsizing) due to COVID, meaning that the gap in my resume is likely to get wider. i don't know...it's definitely a rock and a hard place situation. hopefully something comes through with this recent round of applications. if not...i don't know. i guess i have to just keep throwing my resume out there and see if someone will be interested.

-random thought of the day: Just let me go to Japan!-

Mixed bag of wins and losses this week, so it was quite balanced overall. wins first: i finished the ranking event in 9th place in my crafting class! that means i get a fancy title and bragging rights. honestly, i don't know why i pushed for ranking this time, considering that there are no material/tangible benefits. maybe it was a point of pride thing, to show that i had substance as one of the guild's main crafters. i don't regret doing it (despite sleeping for only 2X2 hours on the last night), but i must say that the rankings on my server were incredibly competitive. like, my score would be an easy top 3 or top 5 finish on almost any other server...which makes me kind of not-happy that other people can get the title with much less work. but well, that's the downside of playing on a populated (and intensely competitive!) server.

next win: meeting with some of the guild management for hotpot dinner. there wasn't a specific reason for it, but it sort of turned into a celebration dinner since my ranking was announced earlier that day. i got to catch up with one of our friends who doesn't play final fantasy any more (i sort of "replaced" him in the guild management, as a matter of fact) and it's nice to see that he's doing well, in spite of a recent COVID scare. i'm still not entirely certain how they've become pretty good friends - i certainly didn't expect nor plan for this to happen when i joined the guild. but i suppose there's no need to ask too many questions here.

the biggest loss this week is that i missed a gym day. it was basically due to fatigue from the crafting ranking and being out for the hotpot dinner. it took me all of saturday to recover, and i couldn't go to the gym today because i had tuition. also, that would throw next week's gym schedule off. so, i'm taking it as a lost day. it was bound to happen eventually...maybe for better reasons than in this case, but the end result of missing a day's gym would have been the same. so, i've just got to recover from it, accept that a day was missed, and continue on. definitely not the end of the world.

feeling a little tired now after a day of tuition (another couple of wins - my mentor left me amazingly detailed instructions for her classes, and the kids were good overall). just doing some mindless crafting for a friend in-game, before i head to bed. next week looks busy, as i have to restock on groceries on top of the usual gym. also, i'm expecting a very interesting conversation. will update when/if it happens.

-random thought of the day: Remember to use up the grabfood voucher!-

Taking a short break from crafting in final fantasy to blog. there's a ranking event going on now, and i've been crafting for oh, 6 hours per day since sunday? competition is quite stiff for my particular crafting class, but there are other classes where it's even worse. i'm hoping to finish in the top 12, because there's a nice title as a reward. my odds look decent, as i'm rank 7 now, but i'm not going to count chickens just yet.

my phone somehow fell off my bed and onto the floor while i was sleeping last night. as a result, there's now a thin crack on the upper right side of the screen protector. i was annoyed, of course, but i found it easier to let go of than when i received the magnetic pen with a few long but shallow scratches on its body. after thinking about it for a short while, i came to the conclusion that the reason i'm able to let go of the former case is because my phone itself isn't actually damaged. also, that's what a screen protector is for right? to protect the screen. whereas for the pen, it's a brand new product. granted that the scratches don't affect the pen's function either, but the fact that it's new means that my expectations towards its condition is much higher compared to my 2+ year-old phone. thankfully, the pen people were nice and sent me a replacement barrel when i told them about it. the unfortunate thing though, is that the shipping is taking quite long! from ordering the pen to getting the package, i think it took about 10 days. it's been a bit over a fortnight, and i still have no word on the replacement barrel. its last status update was "handed over to the airline for shipping" on 30 august. i figure i'll give it until the end of the month before i start poking around for updates or resolutions.

in spite of the increased time spent on final fantasy, i've still found the willpower/discipline to go to the gym. progress is starting to slow, and i'm stalling on some exercises. thankfully, i've been able to complete 5 sets of 5 at the stalled weight by the next session, so that's a form of progress as well. i'm excited that my deadlift broke 100kg! it sounds pretty impressive in absolute terms, but less so if i relate that to a percentage of my body weight. i'm starting to notice a few regular faces in the gym, like the guy who practises the snatch and (loudly) drops the barbell after each rep, as well as the guy who does heavy single lifts with long rest periods. compared to me, those guys are lifting a greater multiple of their body weights (the second guy lifts more than me in both absolute and relative terms), so that's something to aspire towards. it's not a competition, and i treat it more as motivation than anything.

no replies from any companies so far, so i'm going to send out round 2 of applications soon. travel restrictions between japan and singapore are relaxing, but only for business travellers and foreigners who already reside in japan. since i fall into neither of those categories, i'm not getting my hopes up too much. well...i guess we'll see how round 2 goes when i send out the applications later this week or early next week.

-random thought of the day: Nothing on my mind.-

Can't recall having too many weird dreams since i started going to the gym again. that lends some credence to my hypothesis that my weird dreams are a result of an overactive mind and an underactive body. having said that, i did have a weird dream last night, about my professor asking me to rewrite my thesis with a more biological focus. i think his suggested title was "the effect of platinum (IV) complexes on living cells", or something similar. i remember feeling great dread, because it would not be related to my research, and thus make the thesis disjointed on a whole. not to mention my lack of a biological background! that wasn't even the weirdest part. my professor had also become a crazy cat man in the dream, and we had an office cat which he would play with for inordinate amounts of time. there was another bit about him going to get coffee, and my postdoc and i spying on him for some reason. quite odd indeed.

following up on the thought about metaphorical doors, i decided to give some doors a try, and sent in applications to 3 companies. it's been 2 days, and i've yet to hear from a single one. i suppose i can be a bit more patient, given that delays are to be expected in view of the circumstances arising from COVID. at the same time, i can't be waiting forever. i think a week is reasonable enough; so if i don't hear from them by then, i'll send out another round of applications. i've found that gmail's "scheduled send" feature is quite handy for sending emails where time kind of matters. i remember taking a module in university where it was taught that work emails should be sent during working hours only (timezones permitting, of course). so, i set my application emails to be sent out at 8:00am sharp. maybe it's too early? or it looks too perfect. like, i wouldn't believe that someone was actually clicking the "send" button just as the clock struck 8. maybe i'll try a random/later time for the next round.

i've done more searching for IP firms (or law firms that have an IP division), and came up with a second list of companies. i realized that dedicated law firms may not be the way to go, as it seems that they focus more on using the patents as tools, rather than the on intricacies of what's actually in the patents. wait, that's not entirely right. i guess what i wanted to say is that law firms focus on what happens after patents are granted, while specialist IP firms focus on the process of getting patents granted. interestingly, the first IP firm wasn't a top result on google when i searched "IP firm singapore". so, i've spent some time to trawl through the subsequent pages of google search. my second list includes 7 companies that i plan to apply to, of which there are 4 that i would be more inclined to work for. there's also 1 company that fits the profile of what i'm looking for very closely, but has negative reviews on a few job sites. criticisms include bad HR policies (employees allegedly have to stay back an extra 2 minutes for every minute that they report late), getting publicly yelled at by the directors, and not receiving much mentoring. it makes me wonder how this firm managed to expand out to several other countries in the region. maybe i'll just send in an application and see if any correspondence reinforces or goes against that image.

last gym workout for this week. considering whether i want to push it to tomorrow, or just bite the bullet and go today. there's no substantial difference, i don't think, since i tend to go at times where it's not so crowded. i'll decide later in the day, i guess.

-random thought of the day: Top up the cashcard!-

Amazing how small details make a big difference. background info: i mainly visit 2 branches of the gym to work out - paya lebar because it's the closest to home, and duo galleria because my former workplace across the street offers per-entry parking on weeknights and weekends. for a while now, i'd noticed that performing squats at paya lebar was easier than at duo. initially, i chalked it up to the fact that i was doing heavier weights at duo, but that hypothesis fell through when i increased weights at paya lebar as well. today, i figured out the reason...shorts. you see, the gym provides workout attire (which i like because laundry sucks). you'd think that since the branches are under the same umbrella, they'd use the same clothes. but they don't! the shorts that paya lebar provides are shorter and made of stretchy material, whereas the shorts at duo are longer and don't stretch at all. so, the duo shorts end up restricting my range of motion when i squat. my fix for that is to pull the leg parts of the shorts up higher. it works, although it looks a little awkward and they tend to slip back down as the set progresses. but i can live with that.

so i didn't go to the gym yesterday. but not to worry, i made up for it today. i think this 3 days a week workout schedule is better than the 4 days per week i did with genesis. there's more time to rest, for one, and it makes gym days easier to shuffle. i know that i'll probably have to go to 4 days eventually, but 3 is a comfortable spot for me right now. had my body scan too; lost about half a kg of weight, comprising of losing 1+kg of fat and gaining just under a kg of muscle. i'm pleased that there is progress, but at the same time, i wonder if it's too slow. i suppose pace doesn't matter as much as sustainability, as this seems to be a long-term endeavour. i've noticed that i'm falling back into the habit of mindless eating, which is something i'll have to address on the fitness tracking blog. maybe my theme for month 2 of plan get fit should be "mindfulness".

more food for thought from chemical engineer cousin, the latest nugget of wisdom being that capable people create success out of their choices. first off, thank you for thinking that i'm capable. secondly, it's been something that i don't think that i've really explicitly acknowledged, but yes, my current job situation is (at least in part) a result of my own choices. i'm actually going to combine this with an idea from a recent video that the rock (yes, the same rock from WWE) posted when his family got COVID. the idea that the rock shared was that we should take control of the controllables. of course, he was referring to people taking measures to protect their loved ones from COVID, but the idea applies across in a more general sense. while i can't control whether a company decides to hire me or not, i can control things like whether i apply or not, whether i prepare for the interview or not, and whether i accept an offer or not if it comes my way. this also means that i have the choice to turn JET down. it's something that i am not inclined to do, mainly because it's the only confirmed offer i have, and you know the thing about birds and bushes. it's just that the one-year wait is a bummer.

having said that, there are things that i can do right now to improve my future situation, brushing up on japanese being a very obvious one. but at the same time, i think that i should think even further. after all, the understanding is that JET is temporary. my plan has always been to spend 1-3 years doing the english teaching thing on JET, then either move on to something else in japan, or come back to singapore. either way, i foresee that my next job after JET will be something more related to my degree. at this point in time, i'm still keen on giving IP a shot. with that in mind, i've decided to apply to a couple more companies, but with a difference. i have previously sought employment with dedicated IP firms that specifically employ people with science backgrounds. this time, i'm going to change my strategy and apply to law firms, where the majority of people have law degrees. i figure that being the unique one in that scenario gives me an advantage from a technical point. of course, the downside is that they may not accept me due to my lack of legal training, or they may say i'm too specialized. still, never try, never know, right?

it's come to my own attention that it's rather irrational of me to be thinking of the first IP firm so much. so, it's time to give myself a dose of perspective:

• that firm is not the only way for me to get qualified as a patent attorney.
• based on my experience there, that firm is not even the best way for me to get qualified as a patent attorney.
• the success (or lack thereof) of my former boss has no bearing on me.
• it's pointless for me to compare myself to my former boss; we're different people with different experiences in different circumstances.
• having one bad experience in IP doesn't mean all my future experiences in IP will be bad

i'll add on if i think of anything else, but i think that this should be good enough for now. long story short is not to let the past bug me.

there was one more thing i wanted to blog about, but it kind of escapes me now. oh well. it'll come to me eventually. for now, time for some relaxing crafting in final fantasy, before an early-ish night.

-random thought of the day: Been seeing masks in my dreams too.-

How nice, that the sky is looking overcast on the day that i don't have to go out! makes staying at home feel all the more gratifying.

to expand on a thought in my last post, i thought that i'd kind of list jobs (or types of jobs) that i'd like to do. i'll write about them as they occur to me, and then arrange them in order of preference. so apologies for anything that may be disjointed. also, i'll rate them on a scale of 1-5, with 1 being "not touching it with a ten-foot pole" and 5 being "where do i sign!??".

something unrelated to chemistry - 4/5
i don't think it would be entirely bad for me to step away from the chemical world. maybe my perspective is skewed from hearing my cousin talk about his job and how successful people in finance are. but i'm thinking that a change in environment might do me some good. after all, a degree is more than just technical knowledge. going to university teaches you how to learn.

lab-based work (lab manager, supervisory role) - 4/5
i'm used to a lab environment, so this won't be too far removed from my previous experience. and while i won't mind doing some of the actual science work myself (synthesis, purification, analysis, etc.), i'd prefer to leave it to others. unfortunately, industrial labs are looking for people with experience in various things like cgmp, lean something, and compliance with ISO standards. i don't even know where to start looking for these certifications.

something in IP - 3.75/5
the two disheartening experiences aside, i think that there's still untapped potential in this area. perhaps it's just a matter of me not having met the correct 贵人 (benefactor/mentor) yet. i'm definitely still interested to learn more about patents and the work involved in getting one granted.

teaching (lecturing in a tertiary institution) - 3.5/5
lecturing would be my top choice within the teaching realm. for one, lecturers don't really have to care about their students...just see them in class for a semester and goodbye. not to mention additional benefits of being more intellectually stimulated by teaching higher-level content, and being paid more as opposed to teaching at lower levels.

setting up a business - 3/5
putting this right in the middle as i've never done it before, so i don't have an informed opinion. the thought of starting something up is becoming more appealing as time goes by. the most immediate thought would be a tuition centre, but i'm also considering other options like something that is an intermediary which connects 2 entities, like a recruitment firm. or something F&B where i can use my scientific knowledge and skills.

teaching (tuition centre) - 2.5/5 (current arrangement gets 4/5)
compared to an MOE job, tuition is more relaxed in a way, as tuition teachers only see the students once a week. as a result, they can be less involved in their students' lives as compared to MOE teachers. that's not to say that the workload is lighter though, i know the class volume that my full-time colleagues have.

teaching (private tuition) - 2/5
the main upside about private tuition is the flexibility and relatively high pay per hour. the biggest downside in my opinion is having to find my own students and market myself. besides, i think this kind of ad-hoc tuition arrangement is best left to the younger generation, like undergrads.

industrial research - 2/5
i think that i'm not ready to step back into hardcore science. it takes a special kind of tenacity to face failure on a constant basis and still trudge on. unfortunately, i'm not blessed with "god hands" like that one japanese professor who visited NUS and gave a seminar on his career in total synthesis.

teaching (MOE) - 1.5/5
apart from the requirement to complete a graduate diploma in education and job attachment before becoming a full-fledged MOE teacher, i understand that teachers have to deal with lots of stuff outside the classroom, like managing students, dealing with parents, etc. that's not my cup of tea.

academia - 1/5
this includes postdoc positions and tenure track by research in a university. like i tell people who ask, i don't have the brain to be a professor. professors have to come up with problems for their students to solve, and i'm not good at that.

notice that there's nothing that hit 5/5? my ideal "job" would be doing whatever i wanted while a constant supply of money flowed in. but let's come back to the real world. chemical engineer cousin left me a comment saying that a door that i choose not to step through is as good as a locked door. for job-searching specifically, not applying to a company (yet) means that i have a chance to apply in the future, as opposed to applying and not getting the job. of course, it's possible to reapply to a company which had rejected you before, but i don't know how successful the second application will be, considering the first rejection. a part of me wants to try this door that's been on my mind, but the other part also wants to wait until after japan. i should remember that like the previous application, i'm not guaranteed to get the job. maybe that's more incentive to try applying, since a definite result will allow me to get this off of my mind.

i'm sure that i mentioned this some time ago, but i realize that as i grow older, i don't feel as much need to have a lot of physical possessions. it's not really even a value thing, ie. not "i'd rather have one expensive ______ than many cheap ______s". in that spirit, i've begun to sell away some more pens, and i think that i'll end up with a core of about 3-4 pens that see regular use, plus another 4-5 for more niche occasions. i realize that catering to your target audience is quite important. i've had a pen listed for sale on carousell for over a year (no exaggeration). in that time, i've had 3-4 people interested in buying it, but they never went through. i listed it on a local fountain pen facebook group, and the sale was finalized less than 24 hours later! way to go me for thinking of that. currently, i'm debating on whether to sell a glass dip pen or not, because it's super easy to clean as compared to a regular pen, but i admittedly don't use it very often.

just sorted through the random pile of papers on my desk, and sorted them accouding to things i would keep, and things i would shred. i found a copy of my contract with the previous IP firm, and their employee handbook. needless to say, that's going into the "shred" pile. you know the saying - if the old doesn't leave, the new won't come. the sorting has also triggered my dust allergy a little, in that my nose ran for a bit and my neck feels itchy. nothing a good warm shower won't cure.

-random thought of the day: Excited for body scan tomorrow!-

It's been a busy week. well, busy by my current standards, anyway. time seems to be passing faster too, maybe because i'm marking alternate days with gym. yet, among all the bustle, i've still managed to put some thoughts together. let's just quickly talk about some things that happened over the past week before we get into thoughts.

the car was due for inspection in april, but the was when COVID was at its worst. so, the LTA deferred my inspection, and told me to get it done by august. i went down to the inspection centre last week, and braved a 30-minute queue. luckily, the car passed! i'd hate to have to go there any more than necessary. the only issue that the inspector brought up was that my licence plate was faded (probably due to the paint scratching off when hitting the road divider from the accident in 2018), but he gave me a quick (albeit temporary) fix - to use correction fluid to touch up the faded areas. that's something which i will have to remember for future inspections...not that there are many more to go since the car is due for scrapping in 2022. still, it's a good tip for future reference.

also went to do some groceries last week, as is becoming the norm. NTUC was having a sale on whole salmon, like $10.90 per kilo or something. that's about a third of the price of pre-cut portions, so i got 2 fish. the upfront cost is higher, but i save overall, considering that that should last me 3 weeks to a month. i'm realizing that making a certain quantity of food last longer is actually beneficial both for my weight loss plan and for my wallet. don't worry, i'm not going to starve myself, but my plan is to find a way to control my intake a little more, so that i can do groceries less frequently and save a bit of money too.

on the topic of food, i've also started expanding my horizons a bit more. i saw coconut yogurt in cold storage, and got some to try. it's actually pretty good! but i'm biased, since i love coconut. the more amazing thing is that the bacteria cultures present in the yogurt can be used to culture regular coconut cream, meaning that it's a one-off purchase and you can make your own coconut yogurt. i've done it once with some success, though the consistency is a little more runny than the commercial stuff since i didn't add any thickener. i also read that while coconut yogurt does contain probiotics and other stuff, it's not the best for you as there's a relatively high level of saturated fat. to balance this, i also got some regular non-fat milk yogurt, but in greek style because it's higher in protein per unit volume. i think what i'll end up doing is mixing both coconut and regular yogurts, and adding fruit. turns out that grapes aren't so good for the diet, because high sugar or something like that. a youtube video i watched recommended a few alternatives, the only two of which i remember are starfruit and blackberries. oh, and watermelon! i actually quite like blackberries, but pity that they're so expensive...like $7 per 125g. on my most recent trip to the supermarket, i also got some cheese. there was a danish blue cheese, as well as this french-sounding one which was labelled as isigny queton d'isigny. the fancy-sounding name leads me to believe that it might be one of those protected designation things, like champagne. it was quite interesting because it didn't smell or taste of much while i was chewing it, but the aftertaste was quite strong and ammonia-ish, sort of like century egg yolk. i enjoyed it! as expected, the blue cheese was salty and strong, and while i quite like it, it's not something that i can eat a lot of in one sitting.

gym has been going well, my weights are increasing, while my weight is on a downward trend. i think my net loss in one month is 1+kg of absolute weight, but that involves losing fat and gaining muscle simultaneously. considering that my first month goal was just to get acclimatized to the gym, and to slowly get back in the groove of working out, i'd say that it was quite successful! i'm considering adding some cardio to the mix, but i'll think about that more on the fitness tracking blog. one thing i noticed with my current regimen, as opposed to the one that the genesis coaches gave me, is that i don't feel lower back strain like i used to. of course, that might also be because of the reduced intensity and more frequent rest days now, or perhaps my form got better? i'm hoping that i can keep the progression up, though i feel that i might be approaching a plateau soon. the weights are becoming increasingly harder to lift. well, we'll deal with it when it happens.

just checked the japan travel website, the ban is still in place. but instead of saying "this ban will be effective until the end of *current month*" as they've been doing previously, the updated text says "this ban will be effective for the time being". to me, this new indefiniteness means that they've become less optimistic on reopening borders, and that it's pretty much confirmed that JET won't be happening this year. well...it could be a sign for me to focus on getting fitter, though i must admit it's pretty self-important to think that a global pandemic happened just to give me a sign. but i suppose it's up to interpretation.

remember i said that a job is kind of like a relationship? in my specific case, i'm actually seeing more parallels than i'd thought. even now, i still wonder if i might have survived in the first IP firm if i was more on the ball, had a different boss, communicated more...all that stuff. the similarity of this to my past relationship experience is that i also often wondered if i could have made the ex happier by giving in to him more, working harder to lose weight, and becoming his ideal boyfriend even if it meant going against my own values. and the answer is while i'm sure that i could have, i wouldn't be happy. even while we were dating, so many of my friends told me that there were better guys out there. i guess that i'm still a little hung up over the job situation (perhaps even more so since learning that my former boss got promoted) because that's the best i've had so far. but to use one of my favourite quotes, that's like saying it's the most important electron in a hydrogen atom. within the industry itself, there are definitely better companies out there. there might even be industries to which i am better suited! i just haven't discovered a job or a company that i feel really good with.

guess that's it for now. i really have to clean my desk up. i'm contemplating applying to another company (a law firm), but at the same time, i kind of don't want to? like, there are only so many doors available, and each time the application doesn't go through, another door gets locked. definitely have to meditate on this a little more.

-random thought of the day: Need to get more cabbage and spinach.-