Surprisingly, i made it through the day with no major incidents/embarassing moments. in fact, i'm tempted to say that it was one of the most productive days i've had since after the prelims. reading those econs notes does help a little, though i definitely need more time to commit all those acronyms to memory. i must admit, it does make remembering the factors somewhat easier. so far, i know that We Can Foster International Relations and D5 are about the advantages and disadvantages of trade respectively, I SP Y PS I is for factors affecting investment. there are quite a few others, which i shan't list here. too confusing.

self study aside, i think i did pretty well as a tuition teacher. managed to solve most of the problems without too much fuss. only thing was that some things didn't come as quickly due to my lack of sleep. still, i'd give myself a 7/10 performance. and i'll have to do it again tomorrow, not that i'm complaining.

it's been quite a while since i've posted twice in a day. i guess it's my body's way of depleting its energy source completely, since that leads to a more efficient recharge (this is really true when applied to phones, mp3 players, anything that runs on rechargeable batteries). so this means i'll be going off to sleep soon. need to regain energy.

Posting this early in the morning is a first for me.

the reason i'm not asleep now is, well, because i can't sleep (thank you, captain obvious!). but seriously, i doubt i got 2 hours of sleep through the entire night. all i remember about my short trip into dreamland was that i had a vision of killing huge underwater snails with a giant key and lightning magic...sort of like Kingdom Hearts (though there are no snail enemies anywhere in the game, as far as i remember). not the most relaxing of dreams, if you ask me. i have no idea why this is happening. my only hazy guess is that it's due to A-level pressure. incidentally, GP is in 3 days' time, and i still feel i'm lacking in content in areas like terrorism, happiness, and a host of other topics.

i really feel quite inadequately prepared sometimes. honestly, as of now, my prediction is BACC for physics, chem, maths, and econs respectively, and that's looking at it quite optimistically. i only have a few days to turn that into AAAB or AAAA. not impossible, but not easy. especially for econs, and to a lesser degree, maths. still, i should be grateful that i have some miraculous econs resources. now all i need to do is read them and get used to the acronyms.

aside from some odd occurrences like inability to sleep and questioning my own abilities sometimes, i'd say i'm coping pretty well, given the high stress level. i'm stressed enough to be worried, but not to the extent of a breakdown or anything ike that, which would be disastrous at this time. so i guess i'm pretty lucky.

you know, i just realized that in the event my A-level results are poorer than expected, i don't have a backup plan at all. so should my results be bad (touch wood), i'd be pretty screwed. so that's another reason for me do do well, isn't it?

well, my paragraphs are getting shorter, which means i'm running out of things to say. and guess what? i have to be in school later. go me. i think i'll try to get another hour or two of sleep in before then. but that depends on whether i can fall asleep or not in the first place.

-random thought of the day: 4 more Fridays before it's all over.-

Day after day, time slips by. there are now slightly more than 7 days until the GP exam. wow. i wish i could say that i was so caught up in studying to the extent where i didn't notice the time go by. but even a blind person would be able to see that i was lying. truth be told, i'm still considered extremely slack. something tells me i lost a little too much momentum after the prelims.

so, what have i done during the past few days? as mentioned earlier, not much. mainly just reading up on some chem, physics and econs. i feel slightly more confident for group 2, and econs in general. my physics appears to be slipping a little though, but kinematics was never my forte anyway. overall, there has been some progress made, but not as much as i'd have liked.

this afternoon, while taking a (not so) well-deserved study break, i chanced upon The Last Samurai showing on cable. i remember watching it in cat high at one of those post-prelim relaxation things, but i only caught the last hour or so then. needless to say, my break got extended by a whole lot as i watched the entire movie, all 2.5 hours of it. i don't know why, but i have a great appreciation for the japanese culture. almost makes me wish i was born there. then again, apparently the students there are pressured even more than singaporean students, so maybe it's for the best after all.

so, i think i'll cut my post here. blogger's due for maintenance, and i'm not sure when. so, it's better to be safe than sorry, right?

-random thought of the day: Must photocopy econs notes.-

Before you know it, another week has passed, and we move ever closer to the A-levels. it's hard to believe that it's been 7 days since graduation. anyway, in the past week, i've been doing some studying. most definitely not as much as i should be doing, but it's a start. i still don't feel particularly confident for all my subjects, and it's my...job? duty? responsibility? to change that in the coming 12 days. looking at my entry proof (p.s. make sure you have extra copies of it, just in case), i realized that i've paid $537 to sit for 14 papers, all in the course of 10 days. it kind of sucks, knowing that you actually have to pay to subject yourself to endless hours of studying and mental torture.

yesterday, i was flipping through the 2004 edition of the KCPSS yearbook. i must admit, some faces never change, while some others really look different as compared to when we were in primary school. i was still able to recognize most of my primary school class/schoolmates in the photos, though i had to read through the names to identify others. it was kind of...odd in a way, seeing as the yearbook's 2 years old, so that may not be the most accurate depiction of how they look now. i think it would be really nice to meet up with my old class again. but, that will have to wait until after november 22nd.

oh, before i forget, it appears that my phone bill wasn't paid on time, and my calls and messages have been barred. so, i haven't been able to reply any messages or make any calls for the entire day. and by some odd coincidence, everyone's asking me important stuff today. figures, doesn't it? anyway, to everyone that has tried to SMS me, i apologize, but i'll only be able to reply sometime later today, or even tomorrow.

as brother paul said on graduation day, it's the beginning of the end. when he said that, one song immediately came to my mind:

Donna Lewis and Richard Marx - At The Beginning
We were strangers
Starting out on a journey
Never dreaming what we'd have to go through
Now here we are
And I'm suddenly standing
At the beginning with you

No one told me I was going to find you
Unexpected, what you did to my heart
When I had lost hope
You were there to remind me
This is the start

And life is a road, and I want to keep going
Love is a river I want to keep flowing
Life is a road, now and forever
Wonderful journey
I'll be there when the world stops turning
I'll be there when the storm is through
At the end I want to be standing at the beginning
With you

We were strangers
On a crazy adventure
Never dreaming how our dreams would come true,
Now here we stand
Unafraid of the future
I could begin here with you

And life is a road, and I want to keep going
Love is a river I want to keep flowing
Life is a road, now and forever
Wonderful journey
I'll be there when the world stops turning
I'll be there when the storm is through
At the end I want to be standing at the beginning
With you

Knew there was somebody somewhere
Like me, alone in the dark
Now I know my dream will live on
I've been waiting so long
Nothing's gonna tear us apart

And life is a road and I want to keep going
Love is a river I want to keep flowing
Life is a road, now and forever
Wonderful journey
I'll be there when the world stops turning
I'll be there when the storm is through
In the end I want to be standing at the beginning
With you

Life is a road, and I want to keep going
Love is a river I want to keep going on
Starting out on a journey
Life is a road and I want to keep going
Love is a river I want to keep flowing
In the end I want to be standing at the beginning
With you

as a group, be it T20, the science faculty, CJC, or even the entire country, we're at the beginning of the A-levels. it's only 33 more days until everything's over. perseverance.

-random thought of the day: Need to call the Toshiba people about my laptop.-

Eighteen. what a nice number. you know, this is the first number after 13 to have a horizontal plane of symmetry. anyways, if you look at the nice green (at the time of writing this post, may not apply to future templates) numbers at the bottom, you'll notice that they now say "18+". thus, i am a happy boy. being 18 opens many doors. for instance, i can legally drink, watch M-18 movies, drive, smoke, and do some other cool stuff. i mostly like it, except for the smoking part, since i'm strongly opposed to the act of smoking. while i can't stop others from doing it, i can choose not to join in.

so, 18. wow. i haven't quite gotten over the novelty of saying it. wouldn't it be nice if time just froze here? i'm old enough to be legal, and A-levels will never come. sounds like my idea of a perfect life. too bad no such thing will happen though. oh well. i suppose i'm allowed to have a dream, regardless of whether it comes true or not.

to end off the bit about my birthday, i'd just like to thank all the people who have made this day special through their tags, MSN messages, SMSes, personal greetings, and gifts. makes a guy feel loved. heh. well, 365 more days to go before 19, which brings along a whole new set of implications. for now, i think i'll just enjoy being 18.

school's out, and study break begins. funny, i seem to remember my sec 4 study break being longer than 2 weeks. maybe it's because i ponned excused myself from lessons a week few days before the break began. still, 2 weeks is actually not that short. i think it should be enough time to salvage my econs and not neglect my other subjects at the same time. it's a daunting task, but to quote a motivational poster, "Records are set to be broken; challenges are meant to be overcome." i can do this!

also, for the next 3 days or so (at least until saturday), i'm going to be living like a hermit. no computer, except for an hour every alternate night. it's study time now. remember T20's target of 4 (or 3) As. difficult, but achievable. as my old maths teacher would say, "things are not impossible. they are just challenging." just the attitude i need at this time.

-random thought of the day: Tomorrow's physics day!-

Tagboard died. the entire website's gone, and it's been replaced by some other funny stuff. i'm guessing the company went bust or something. so, in view of this, i've made the switch to cbox. having said that, i wonder, why didn't i do it earlier? it's far more user-friendly and you get to see your changes instantly. the code is also much shorter and easier to edit. the only little issue i have is that you can't edit what the posting button says, but that's just a minor detail. still, i'm pretty satisfied with it in general.

lots of stuff have happened in the past few days. on friday, we had our graduation assembly. it's really odd how one month can seem like forever, but 2 years can go by just like that. looking back, i think it's been a great experience, mostly thanks to my great classmates and friends. i just find it sad that we have to part ways after such a short time together. but it's not the end yet. somehow, i believe that we'll still meet up quite often, many years on. the contact list in my hands doesn't really hurt that possibility either. that reminds me. i have to scan it in and email it to everyone later. it was kind of touching, seeing some people cry and all that. nobody in my class did though, which i guess was a good thing.

while on the topic of graduation, i find that it's kind of...meaningless to give out the "best home class" award. while i admit, T18 has done lots of great stuff, but to me, T20 is still the best. it's really too subjective, but oh well. i can't post any more stuff here, because i'm saving material for my end-of-year post. all i'll say is that it's been really great being part of a wonderful class, and words can hardly express my gratitude and appreciation to everyone.

i also went for the cat high annual dinner on friday. it's funny who you'll meet there. i say this because i ran into my secondary 1 and 2 science teacher, who has since retired. guess what? she remembers me! i didn't quite expect that, seeing as she's pretty old (for lack of a better term). despite her age, she's still been quite active, doing travelling and all that. quite admirable. it was a little awkward at first, as many of the old boys are at least 15 years older than me. still, it felt good to be in their midst.

open house went pretty smoothly too. it's amazing how rusty you can get just by not training for a few months. even breakfalling took some getting reaccustomed to. luckily, i was still able to hold my own against the juniors. my face is saved! the only thing i'm unhappy with is that i neglected to do sufficient warm-ups before the event. as a result, i'm paying the price now. i'm aching all over, and believe me, it's not a good feeling. well, it should be gone in a day or two, but right now, it's annoying.

it's scary. some time ago, we were saying that A-levels were a month away. now, we're saying that A-levels will be over in a month's time. crap. i really must begin revision, and that starts tomorrow. no compromise.

-random thought of the day: Haze is really bad for health.-

NEW COMPUTER!!!

sorry...i just felt the urge to announce it to the world. as all of you smart people have probably figured out, my new computer's here. pretty nice-looking machine, and the system specs aren't too bad either. 160 gigs of memory. holy crap on a stick! like i'll need all that much space. then again, it's good to have extra space, because you never know when it'll come in handy. only thing i feel slightly uncomfortable about is the screen resolution. it's like 1440 X 900, which means my blog template appears small. oh well. i'm sticking to 1024 X 768 for the blog design, because i believe it's more commonly found.

now that the new computer's here, i can go online more often. to be honest, i don't know whether it's a blessing or a curse, since this means there'll be another source of distraction. with the A-levels coming in 2 weeks' time, i'm not sure i need that right now. well, at least i could resist the temptation to install new games. City of Heroes will have to wait until after 22 november, which, if you really look at it, isn't that far away. patience...

also, seems like i have a couple of visitors with murderous intent, or so it seems. they're actually old primary school classmates who happened to get acquainted with some of my current classmates while they were all in the same secondary school. i swear, singapore's such a small place, it gets kind of scary sometimes. you never know when or how your current friends are connected to your relatives or old friends, or when you'll meet your best friend from 10 years ago. i haven't done the latter yet, but i hear he's in VJ now, and doing quite well. on that note, i think it would actually be quite interesting (and scary) to organize a primary 6B 2000 outing one of these days, with 100% attendance. who knows what embarassing things might surface if that were to happen?

ever since the prelims ended, that little remaining bit of my drive/motivation to study has mysteriously disappeared. has anyone seen it? i've tried looking in the lost and found section, but to no avail. i think this happened because i treated the prelims like a more slackened-down version of the actual exams. so, when everything ended, i sort of automatically switched into "holiday mode". i really need to get back on track, especially for econs. though honestly speaking, i would be quite ok with these results at the end of the day. maybe econs could be bumped up to a C, but otherwise, i wouldn't complain that much. must kick into high gear soon. just give me this week to settle all my outstanding stuff, and i'll buckle down by next monday. it sounds easy, but talking always does. it's the doing that takes determination.

today, i was kaypoh-ing around the judo open-house rehearsal. it's not bad, but i sense a sort of...disunity amongst the J1s. maybe i'm being sensitive, but it seems that way to me. everyone's doing their own thing while the practice is going on. it's probably just me, but oh well. i think i'll just mention this little concern off-hand to the current president and see what she thinks.

graduation's in 2 days' time. to be honest, it didn't really feel like 2 years. more like a year and a bit, or even less. i'll feel both happy and sad to leave CJC. happy because there are no more long days, boring teachers or strict disciplinarians, and sad because 2T20 will be split up. it's not easy for 26 individuals to come together as a class, work together to survive games days, the promos, the prelims, and other assorted school functions, while organizing various outings and chalets at the same time. but looking back now, i'd say we did a pretty good job. i guess i'll stop talking about my class here, just in case i run out of things to say in my end-of-year concluding post.

tomorrow brings us a day closer to graduation, open house, and a certain special event. the rest of my week is actually pretty packed. (finally) sending the laptop for repair, cat high OBA dinner, open house. well, this is the last time i can enjoy myself before 22 november, so i'd better make the most out of it.

-random thought of the day: My elbow hurts.-

I thought i'd be able to go a whole week without blogging, but evidently, i was wrong. today, after receiving my results for GP and econs, i was left in quite a bad mood. so, i'm just borrowing the nice library's facilities to express my annoyance/anger.

you see, my GP compre got 27.5, which i am more or less ok with. essay was a nice surprise though. 30/50 and an additional mark due to moderation. so that's 58.5 in total. not too bad, though it could be better, with more attention paid to spelling and time management.

econs, however, was a total scare. 19/30 for case study, 15/20 for DRQ. so far so good, right? then comes essay. 32/75. wow. that just un-made my day, right there and then. adding the marks up by the different weightages, that's a 54.45%. not too wonderful, if you ask me. even though i was prepared for this the moment i stepped out of the exam hall, i never thought it'd feel quite this sucky. compared to my other results, this looks so...bad.

but overall, i'd have to say that i didn't really let myself down this time. an AABD C5(?) is not that terrible of a grade, though it's not the best in the world. right now, top priority goes to reviving my econs. if i could pull my history up from a D7 to an A2 during o-level period, i don't see why it's not possible to do likewise this time with econs. it all boils down to determination i guess.

being without my laptop is really quite inconvenient. i really really need to get it repaired soon. i just need to transfer another 1.89 more gigs of data out of it before i can send it in. i think i should bring the drive and my memory card to school tomorrow to get the transfer done. only problem is that i'm worried that it'll take 10 years to complete.

anyway, i'm feeling better (sort of) after writing this post. there's still a residual bit of dissent(?) left, but that'll dissipate over time. remember: this is only the prelims. no use getting so worked up over it, right? so it's time to calm down, look forward, and see what can be done to rectify the problem.

-random thought of the day: I'm rather stunned now...-

Well, it's been 11 days since the last update. this time, it's not entirely my fault. it happened that my laptop hard disk crashed on the thursday before my prelims ended. i think it was trying too hard to give me a post-prelim surprise. but anyways, i'm back and able to blog only because of the facilities in my cousin's house. as such, this will probably be my last post for...a week or two?

so...my laptop died (but you already know that). even after the previous traumatic experience with my external hard drive about 2 to 3 years ago, i still underestimate the importance of backing data up. luckily, the hard disk isn't that badly crashed yet, and it's still readable this time, but only as an external hard drive. that's why i'm transferring all my songs, data, pictures etc. to their temporary home in an IBM. hopefully the transfer goes well. it has so far, and it's still looking good. i don't really foresee any major problems, and that's a relief. as of now, most of the important stuff has been taken care of, with just some big files to go.

hmmm...prelims are over and done with. surprisingly, i performed pretty well, despite feeling horrible after taking each paper. as of now, i know that i have a chem A, 60+% for chem S, a maths B, and a potential physics A as well. i daren't predict my econs result, seeing as i've received some mixed signals in tutorials and lectures when going through answers. what i do know is that i have a 17/30 for MCQ, which is not good. nevertheless, i'm hoping for at least a C.

and as usual, to celebrate the end of a major exam, the class went for an outing, to dhoby ghaut/PS this time. it was quite a nice change from marina square, but the activities we did were similar. they went to catch a movie (which i missed due to chem S, and because i hate horror movies), then we ate, clebrated a birthday, and went to play daytona. at the arcade, we saw these 2 crazy grls playing the basketball shooting game. i swear, they were so accurate and had such good timing that it's a waste they're not taking foul shots in the NBA. with that kind of players, singapore could dominate the basketball scene.

ok. prelims, class outing, laptop...what else is worth mentioning? City of Heroes, and saturday visits to turf city.

City of Heroes (or CoH) is actually quite fun. being new, i'm still stumbling around, making mistakes here and there. it's been a pretty interesting experience so far, and the people there seem to be quite friendly. i think i'll be taking up a subscription next year. for now, i'm borrowing an account to play. i just wonder if it would be possible to transfer characters between accounts. it'd be quite...wasted if there was no such functionality. funny as it sounds, you develop a sort of bond with your character in a game. it sort of represents you. i don't know if it's just for the first character, or all subsequent ones, as i've only created one guy. but i think i'll find out in due time.

with regard to the saturday meetings, i'm STILL the youngest there. arrgh. then again, it's fun to go there. you never know who you'll meet. so far, i've met 2 teachers who i know, a friend's parent, my juniors' fathers, and an assortment of old boys who attended the school and graduated before i was even born. i think there's a sort of generation gap between us. we have very little in common to talk about, other than we all graduated from the same school. but we try, though it's not always successful. i like the sense of brotherhood there. it feels...unique.

i do believe that's all i have to say right now. or at least i can't think of anything else at this particular moment. with that, i'll be on my way.

-random thought of the day: 16 more days...-