There's been quite a lot on my mind recently. guess i have to blog more, despite the long hours in school. by a nice coincidence, today's this year's leap day. with this post, i haven't missed any leap days since this blog started back in 2003. but by the fact that there have only been 3 leap days from then until now, that's actually not saying much. still, i guess it's something that i've been blogging consistently on a day that comes once every 4 years. i should probably mention that the topics in today's post are likely to be completely random. at best, they may be weakly related. but if you've been reading for a while, that's not entirely new, right?

guess we'll get the mundane stuff out of the way first. since the last post, the most major event that has transpired is the japanese mid-term. it wasn't THAT difficult, but it was by no means easy, either. granted, everything WAS covered in lecture, but the applications were simpler then. while i know i'm not going to do as well as last semester's 49/50, i'm hoping to score above 40.

people have dominant hands, and like most of the world, i'm right-handed. and i have the (good? bad?) habit of hitting walls and other hard surfaces when i'm angry/stressed. this has resulted in the bones of my right hand becoming harder than the bones in my left. in addition, i feel less pain when hitting things with my right hand, too. but then again, that may be due to be being more effective with my dominant hand. i know that this isn't unusual, but i think it's worth a mention because i didn't consciously focus on my right hand. it just kind of happened after...9-ish years. now, being mildly fixated on symmetry, my goal is to get my left hand up to speed. won't be easy, but i think it'll happen eventually.

since i chanced upon this youtube channel, and by extension, this website, i've had hours of entertainment watching her funny cooking videos. incidentally, it seems that she holds a phd in some scientific discipline (i'm guessing chemistry). but the main thing that i want to talk about is that the lady is going on a diet. not those "eat only an apple a day" crash diets, but something sensible, balancing input and output. it's inspiring, because i figure that i can do the same, because it'll do me good in the long run.

before i elaborate on that, though, i want to sidetrack and talk about form and function. maybe it's because of my life experience thus far, but looks tend not to matter as much to me. like, i'd rather drive a reliable, economical car than the latest racing model. despite having said that, i acknowledge that looks do matter because we live in a pretty superficial world.

the thought of changing my lifestyle has crossed my mind several times. i've even had some minor success in army. but that's the problem. if i know myself well enough, i know that i have to be forced to maintain a regular exercise schedule. problem now is, i don't really know when is the best time for exercise. most mornings can work, provided i get up about 2 hours earlier than normal. knowing my track records with early mornings...no. the other alternative is in the evenings, or at night, depending on what time school/lab ends. while there is a risk that i'll be tired after long days at school, it does sound better than early mornings. actually, i can't think of anything sounding worse than early mornings, but that's another story.

so...right now, my plan is as such. jogging as the main form of exercise for the next month or two (depending on progress), with light strengthening exercises. if my fitness gets to the point where i think i can handle something more intense, then the serious strength training will begin. but let's take things step by step first.

also, the other thing i have to change is my diet. unfortunately, both of my parents are working, so getting home-cooked meals is a rarity. while hawker food is convenient and processed foods are handy for a quick snack, i think i need more healthy fresh food. must be all the youtube cooking videos. so, even though it's more troublesome, i think what i'll do is stop by NTUC on the way home and buy whatever i need for dinner. not only will this help to satisfy my crazy cooking urges, but i'll have an idea of how much i spend on food, which will give me a reference for the completeness of my financial independence.

next question...when to start? on the way home from school, i was thinking of starting next monday, since it's a new week. i only realized that tomorrow would be a new month when i was writing the first paragraph. new week vs new month...tough call. in the end, i chose a sort-of compromise...i'll be starting over the weekend, saturday, to be precise. i figure that starting tomorrow would be too rushed, since there are a couple of things i have to work out (like route and duration) before actually starting.

if you've studied chinese to a decent level, you probably will recognize this character, "守 (shou)". the japanese equivalent is "守る (mamoru, mamorimasu)". the basic translation means "protect", but there's a part of it lost in translation. for chinese at least (not sure about japanese yet), there's this additional notion of "guarding", which doesn't come through in english. i remember my cousin blogged about it once (before she shut her blog down), about this song called "童話 (fairy tale)", where part of the chorus goes "我愿变成童话里你爱的那个天使 张开双手变成翅膀守护你". seem to recall she wanted to make her new-zealander then-boyfriend (now-husband...or was he then-husband, too?) sing it to her. anyway, i don't know why, but i've recently taken a liking to the word 守/守る. funny; can't think of anyone to whom i owe a commitment.

...and just as i typed that, someone came to mind. my friend introduced this tuition kid to me, and i was supposed to call her to set up a time. but being stuck in lab all day kind of made me forget. damn. there goes the first impression. well, i figure i can try to salvage that by being nice and apologetic tomorrow. what i know about her so far is that she lives in ang mo kio (major yay), is in J1 at NYJC, and that's about it, really. still, i'm excited over the prospect of a new tuition kid. goodness knows i need to boost my savings.

well, i feel better after getting all that off my mind. i'm not done yet, mind you. there are definitely more things i want to blog about, though none come to mind to this late hour. should probably go off to sleep, too. long day of lab tomorrow demands my full attention.

-random thought of the day: Funny how people can't take a hint.-

Even though it was recess week, i was still in school every day for lab. so much for catching up on rest. but to be fair, it was definitely more relaxed than a normal school week. also, i'm happy that i finally ran a successful column, and got some pure product which can be used for further synthesis. luckily i made just enough to complete my series of reactions. probably will have to make more next week.

for normal NUS students, recess week is used to catch up on whatever's taught in the first half of the semester. since i was in the lab every day, the logical inference is that i didn't study much. did manage to get some kanji practice done, which is timely as the japanese mid-term is about 3 days away. still have to get more familiar with the grammatical forms and structures over the weekend.

despite being busy, i managed to squeeze out some time to go to CJC for judo training yesterday. to put some perspective on that, i haven't been actively training for like a year. met my kata partner there for a quick refresher, but we didn't get past the first set. somehow, i don't remember breakfalls hurting that much. then again, it HAS been a year, after all. we definitely need to start training early before taking second dan, which should be next year at the earliest.

also during training, i met the new sec 1s and taught them a bit of stuff. too bad the J1s only come in next week. that means that i'll probably only see them over summer break, or reading week at the very earliest (if i can find time to go back). as for the sec 1s, there are 7 of them, and from what i saw yesterday, 2 kids show potential, but for different reasons. one of them is big for his age, and seems to get the basic body positioning quite easily. i like the other one because he asks the correct questions and applies new information well. guess i'll check in on them the next time i go.

there was a bit of...not-good (for me) news too. SJI/CJC boy has dropped chem, which means that i have one less source of income. while it kind of sucks for me, the more important thing is that he does well this year. and if dropping chem in favour of H1 maths works for him, i can't really complain. that means i have to start looking for more tuition kids. while i can survive on my current tuition income, there won't be much savings after all the necessary expenditure. wonder if any other CJC kids want tuition?

fitness is an issue that bugs me every now and then. i know that i'm far from ideal fitness, and that does present itself as a concern. but i can't seem to convince myself to get out there and work for what i want.it's one thing to know all the theory, but putting the theories into practice is a different story. and it sucks worse because nobody except myself can do anything about it.

recently, i've also been feeling kind of empty/unfulfilled. like, there has to be more to life than lab and school. but i've been so tied up in those 2 things that i haven't really done anything else much besides. the sad thing is that i can't think of anything fulfilling off the top of my head. to think that i'm not even stuck in a repetitive job that i don't like. makes me quite scared of working life in the future, actually. oddly, weird dreams and childhood memories are surfacing more frequently. the dreams are kind of entertaining, but the memories...some i could do without. could they be linked to my unfulfillment? maybe they'll go away during summer break.

school resumes next week, and the biggest concern is the japanese mid-term. that aside, i also have to run 6 more NMR spectra, do at least 1 synthesis, and catch up on the other chem modules. sounds ok, just that the mid-term is worrying. still, it's nothing that can't be solved by good time management, unless something messes up and i have to repeat reactions.

-random thought of the day: Maybe it's time for a haircut?-

Unexpectedly, tuition got cancelled today. something about one of the kids having a fever. luckily, the message came just as i was stepping out of the door, and not while i was on the train or something like that. nevertheless, it was kind of annoying because it was pretty late notice. not to mention that i don't get "allowance" this week. at least i get additional time to rest.

as you can probably guess from the lack of updates, school has been keeping me busy. days pass in a blur of labs, lectures and tutorials. by the time i reach home, i'm usually too worn out to do anything other than some leisurely internet browsing before going to sleep. and unlike last semester, when i still could do some studying in the library in between classes, there simply isn't enough time for that now. that's probably why i feel that i didn't learn much...because the entire volume of content hasn't had time to sink in yet. definitely have to get some studying done in recess week.

speaking of which, i'm happy that we get lectures and tutorials off on the coming week. that should give me some time to catch up on transition metals and reaction mechanisms. not to mention japanese, the mid-term for which is scheduled for the tuesday after. but it's not the first mid-term i'll be sitting for this semester; that was organic mechanisms yesterday. it went...ok-ish. definitely no full marks (due to a stupid error), but i shouldn't do too badly.

it could be because i have been going to sleep more tired every night, but my dreams are becoming weirder and weirder. though i can't remember most of them, one dream sticks in my memory because it features someone i kind of want to spend more time with. damned brain. it's probably a sign that maybe forever alone is not the way to go after all. either that, or i've been reading too much romantic stuff again.

anyway, life is about to slow down for a week, and that's something i'm extremely thankful for. right now, the plan is to find an afternoon (probably wednesday or friday) to go back to CJC for training. i sure could use a little variety in my schedule right about now.

-random thought of the day: 6 more sets of reactions to go.-

Clothes shopping is something i enjoy as much as wisdom tooth extraction, or driving in a traffic jam. and yet, i was forced to do it today, mainly because i needed new jeans. got something satisfactory, but it could have been better. at the same time, i got some new socks and bought glue to repair my shoes as well (since the soles are almost coming off). makes me feel productive. also managed to finish most of my japanese homework for the upcoming week, borrow a reference book from school, and get my notes printed. and i even found time to catch up on sleep. go me!

for the past few days, my dad was in thailand for a business trip, leaving me with full car access. while i don't quite like driving to school in the mornings due to the horrible traffic, driving back home at night is kind of enjoyable. i think getting a car for honours year (and maybe further studies) is becoming more and more enticing, especially if i'll be stuck in the lab until odd hours.

yesterday, i went to a japanese school near NUS to watch a speech competition. i must admit, their speeches impressed me. despite the alight accented pronunciation, their messages were understandable and meaningful. i just wish i could give a speech of similar standard in japanese, but that would take another year of intensive study, minimum. in the course of learning japanese, i've come to realize why japanese people are such good listeners. it's because of the way that the language is structured. english is made up of 26 letters, which can form words of varying length. japanese is similar, but it has 78 letters (counting all the compound sounds and dots and circles). the thing is, english words are made up of anywhere from 1 to 15 letters, while i haven't yet seen a japanese word that exceeds 5 letters. this means that homophones are much more common in japanese, so listeners have to listen to the context of the conversation to find out which word is being referred to. paradoxically, the same kanji (chinese character) can have different readings depending on where/how they are used. so annoying. what's worse is that the new content is coming in fast, and we're expected to remember the japanese 1 stuff too. i am mildly unhappy and stressed by this. oh well. i'll survive, just for the sake of a future in japan.

the semester is approaching the halfway mark, and i still don't think i learnt much. well...guess i have to spend this week revising everything, especially since mid-terms are becoming a more real threat.

-random thought of the day: Starting a dream diary.-

Did it really take me 9 days to start writing the first post of february? every day, i've just been either too busy or too tired to blog. actually, the former causes the latter. but thankfully, there's a temporary lull in the activity now, which i'm using to recharge.

to be honest, i can't remember everything that's been going on in the past week and a bit. i do remember feeling increasingly stressed as the days passed. if memory serves, i wanted to use atlas (the mythical being who holds the earth up, not the book) as an analogy for my stress. must be due to the lab report, because once i handed it in today, i felt much more relieved. have to get used to it i guess, because that's only 1 of 6 reports i have to write this semester.

i was happy to meet up with some old JC classmates for a drink this past saturday. nothing fancy; just beer at clarke quay. my sense of taste is probably not refined enough, but to me, almost all the different types of beer they let us try tasted like either heineken or carlsberg. weird. went to mcdonalds for a supper-type thing plus chat session after the drinks, before heading home. nothing too havoc-y. i realize that while most of my friends outgrew their havoc stage, i never really had one in the first place. and now i'm too old to have one. oh well. not like i missed out on anything, anyway.

just one last thing before i go off to bed (it's getting late, and guess who has another early day tomorrow?). i decided to do some spring cleaning to my UROPS lab fume hood...removing random bits of paper, broken glass, and cleaning up as much of the accumulated dust and chemical residue as i could be bothered to. the end result it that there's now more working room, and the clean(er) working environment makes me a little happier as well. my productivity should go up. actually, it had better go up. i still have 2 columns to do by next monday, latest.

-random thought of the day: Still mildly stressed.-