Wanted to blog yesterday, but getting home at around 3:00am kind of ruined that. suppose it's better that i didn't blog then, since i've got additional stuff to talk about today.

this past week, i've submitted draft 1 of my QE report to my professor. he got back to me within 12 hours with some general feedback, one point of which was that my literature review is weak. i have to agree. i'm the kind of scientist that refers to papers for 2 reasons: to find out how to do a particular reaction, and to see if someone else has already published my idea. i'm not one to read papers for fun. so, i guess that i'm not at the cutting edge of my research area. to be fair, i don't think my professor expects us to know all the latest developments, but i don't think i can even meet his "normal" standard. should ask my seniors for tips and tricks.

other than that, he left some other (unintelligible) comments (he wrote directly on the file using his tablet and neither my friends nor i can decipher his scribbles), but he did say that he liked my future work section. so that's a plus. i think i prefer his style. he gives criticism where necessary, but balances it out with a positive comment. makes the blow softer, i think. well, it seems that i'll have to refine my report further. will give him a second draft on wednesday, probably. still have to finish compiling references and write the supplementary information. all in all, i'm feeling pretty good about things, time-wise. i've got about a month to go, which i think is plenty of time. oh...powerpoint, too. can't forget that. otherwise i'll have nothing to present on the big day.

apart from school, i've had multiple interactions with the date in the past few days. most of them were good, one (today's) was a little subdued. so...over the past week or so, the date has been bringing up the topic of magic. if you remember, that was the spark that triggered our last big argument in march. i'm not about to pick it up, especially after what went down that time. with that in mind, i think you might understand why i was less than enthusiastic when the date asked about it, and felt even worse when the date said that i was being obstinate for not giving it another chance. i don't think i'm exaggerating too much when i say that i have residual trauma as far as magic is concerned. and it seems to me that the date doesn't know how seriously i was affected by it. not to mention nice counsellor lady said to stay away from such triggers. but well...i'll come back to magic later.

my friend invited us (me, the date, a few more friends) to his place on saturday, where his wife cooked dinner for us. it's a running joke in our group that this particular friend is incurring bad karma for being a troll, and the only way for him to cancel out all that bad karma is to save the world. somehow, i think he did that and more, because he really lucked out marrying this girl. she is japanese, and nice almost to the point of beyond belief. we've met about...5 times or so total, and i rather enjoy interacting with her. side benefit is that it gives me a chance to practise some conversational japanese, though i must admit that i've lost most of my japanese linguistic ability. i hope that whatever little japanese i speak to her makes her feel more at home/at ease. anyway, we had an enjoyable time last night, with plenty of food, snacks, entertainment, gossip, and games. not to mention a spontaneous late-night karaoke session, too. that's why i got back so late.

during the gathering, my friend was playing buddy fight with the date, and also teaching them how to play vanguard, both of which are card games from his company. the date seemed to enjoy both games, although they have said that vanguard is too wordy and boring. anyway, i was splitting my attention between the gossip and the card game, so i did see how my friend taught the date about the game mechanics and all that. one of the reasons i am so turned off towards magic is because of my experience playing it with the date. during the game, the date would drop some hints, and if i didn't follow them, i would be destroyed. in fact, ignoring one of those hints basically led to me having to helplessly watch myself get decimated. yes, i think i still have negative feelings about that episode. anyway, i saw that as a good opportunity to explain my feelings to the date. you see, my friend teaches in a kinder manner, like he will explain his rationale, show the consequences of doing certain actions, even play open-hand and suggest the best possible move to make. it's very open and clear, which is like his character. in contrast, the date's teaching style is more of the "tough love" type, though i don't think "love" is appropriate to describe it. so i was saying that if i was the learner, i would very much prefer my friend's teaching style as compared to the date's. i think the date understood my point. at the same time, i can't really blame them. they told me that this "tough love" approach was how they learnt magic, and i was the first newbie that they taught. so naturally, they taught me the same way as they were taught. unfortunately, the difference is that unlike them, i am rather neutral/lukewarm towards and don't feel particular interested in card games, so that style of teaching really caused an adverse reaction.

seems like there are two ways how a person is taught affects their teaching style. the first is to just do as was done to you, which the date did. the second is to put yourself back in newbie shoes, and remember how that made you feel. in JC, i learnt judo through the "tough love" way too. every saturday training, black belt seniors would come in to spar with us...except that it was more like throwing practice for them, and breakfall practice for us. it sucked...getting thrown, standing up, and getting thrown again almost immediately. so, when it was my turn to teach juniors and spar with them, i remembered how horrible being thrown around felt, and moderated accordingly.

the other thing i felt that was different was the date's idea of moderation. the date did say that they weren't going all out. but if them going easy could still kill me, it means that they weren't going easy enough, and/or i really sucked that bad. the date did say that they didn't like to toy with their opponent, ie. giving them a slow torturous demise. and i agree. that's cruel. but that's how the date interprets "moderation". i interpret it to mean that you give your opponent a fighting chance for them to recover. think i mentioned it before, there was this incident where the date had twice or thrice my HP, and was afraid that if i got a creature in, they would die. it sounded ridiculous, and still sounds ridiculous to me. they cited self-defence as the reason for keeping me helpless. i respectfully disagreed, as i would need way more than one creature to overcome such high odds. in fact, the date could probably have passed on 3 turns and i wouldn't have finished building up the necessary firepower yet...simply because i am new and do not know how to synergize my cards.

up till now, i still don't quite understand why the date played to win. i'm not saying that it's wrong; it's perfectly legal. but from my perspective, i think a win would mean so much more to me than them. since they have played so often against other people, wins and losses are kind of part and parcel of the game for them already. but in my eyes, a win would have helped to boost my confidence, as well as increase my receptiveness to and interest in the game. i think that part of being a good teacher is cultivating and maintaining your students' interest. and making me feel helpless by not allowing me to do anything productive is basically killing any interest and good feelings that i may have had for the game. think about it...would anyone believe that a fresh newbie won by his own skill? if a white belt could throw a black belt, there is a high chance that the latter let the throw happen. and in the same way, the loss shouldn't mean anything to the black belt, because everyone watching knows who was really in control. and to the white belt, although he knows in the back of his mind that his win wasn't real, he still feels good because there's a sense of accomplishment. of course let's not forget the relationship between the players. if it had been anyone else, sure. i think i could have handled it. but in this case, my opponent and i are more than friends. i don't think it's unreasonable to expect some degree of special treatment. and the feeling of getting beat into the ground by someone who is supposed to care for you really sucks. i should know. the date keeps saying that it's just a game. but it's more to me. it's the way that they handled the situation that makes it hard for me to let go, because it feels like i'm just another person, and not special to them, i guess. and to make it worse, the date has told me that they show their feelings through their actions. so it was rather confusing as to what my take-home message was supposed to be.

wow...looks like i still have a lot of magic demons to exorcise. perhaps that's why there's a slight twinge of displeasure when the date brings magic up, and even more so when they suggest that i should try playing again. i don't know what to do, actually. my logical side is telling me to never pick up magic ever again, regardless of whether the date offers to buy me cards, or offers to go easy (both of which they have done). but my heart tells me to maybe consider it to make the date happy. at the same time, there is a risk that if things don't go well again, it could well and truly end the relationship. that's a bit too high of a stake for me. i guess that i'll have to find some way to deal with it within myself, and also to communicate to the date that magic is really a no-go for the foreseeable future. i wonder if it would help if i learnt magic from another source. like a newbie group, or apparently there's a steam version of the game. well, whatever method, as long as it's not playing with the date. but upon further thought, no. let's not tempt fate.

although magic is a rather big minefield, there seems to be an alternative. the date is getting into this game called force of will. it's another trading card game, and we're both new to it. so the date wants us to pick it up together. i'm a little less reluctant to play this, mainly because it's not magic. the date doesn't understand why this is so. they keep saying that after all, both are card games. two words: magic trauma. of course, even with force of will, it's not a completely even playing field; the date still has the advantage from previous knowledge and experience with this kind of games. admittedly, i could read up and all that...but nah. i don't see myself as much of a trading card game person. well...i just hope that the date will remember the lessons from the magic experience. and more importantly, i hope that i will remember my lessons, too.

force of will was actually another point of debate between us. not the game itself, but the amount that the date has been spending on the cards. that, and other expenses too. here's the thing. i have no right to interfere in how the date spends money, because the money's not mine, and our finances are separate. it's just that the date's spending has been rather astronomical recently. they bought 2 phones in 2 weeks, a box of force of will booster packs on friday plus some singles today (i was quite unhappy about the latter), had an emergency dental procedure on monday, and paid for the karaoke yesterday. that comes up to a grand total of more than half my monthly pay spent in half the time i get paid! i use my pay instead of theirs as a benchmark to show how frightening it really is, because the date has told me that i earn more. it's really scary. no doubt they plan on selling one of the phones, but until it's been sold, it's still considered as an expense. what's even worse is that the date needs to have an even bigger dental procedure done, which basically costs close to whatever they spent over the last 2 weeks. call me old-fashioned or conservative or whatever, but if there was that much money lying around, i would have solved the dental problem first, since it would alleviate the discomfort. material stuff like cards and phones can wait, especially since they were just launched! they wouldn't be going anywhere soon. i know that i'm not a paragon of thrift (i have my own frivolous expenses as well, like pens) and am in not much position to lecture the date...but i don't go through so much money so fast! the bed is an exception because it's a necessity and will last me a long time anyway. it's both frustrating and worrying, you know? to me, it seems like the date's priorities are messed up. but well...i can't really do anything except make my perspective known. whether the date takes my advice or not is their prerogative. and also perhaps i'm not being fair, because i don't see the value in trading cards, thus once again proving that things only have as much value as you ascribe to them. i wouldn't spend anything on cards at all, so they're essentially worthless to me.

right. i guess that'll do for now. i know it seems like there's a lot of bad stuff, but most (ok, all) of it is my own internal struggle with various things. i have no idea why that damned card game continues to affect me, even after talking about it multiple times with the date, some friends, and even the counsellor, too. am i seeking a resolution? even if i was, what kind of resolution could i possibly hope for? for the date to let me win? i'm 90% sure that they wouldn't do it, no matter how nicely or how much i asked. so no point. how can i shake this feeling off? i guess by focusing on the positives, that the date gets along well with my friends, and everyone seems to like each other. also that i have a good support network, in the form of my chemistry friends, secondary school friends, and in a worst-case scenario, nice counsellor lady. at the end of the day, i have to remind myself that i'll be fine.

-random thought of the day: Resigned from the SJF! Elaboration to come.-

Second post of the day! that hasn't happened in a while. figured that i'd quickly talk about my day, then go to bed.

aside from the fatigue, i'm feeling quite proud/accomplished that all my planning worked out well today. didn't forget a single thing! withdrew money and got my hair cut at thomson plaza (the stylist cut it a little too short i think), then had a quick workout (nothing special here), followed by the wedding lunch. it's the first time i attended a lunch reception instead of the more common wedding dinner. still, it wasn't that different. the bride and groom had 2 march-ins, videos were screened, there was cutting of the wedding cake, pouring of champagne, cross-arm toast, and several speeches, all while an 8-course meal was being served. very typical of a chinese wedding dinner, just that in this case, it was brought forward by about 7 hours. i think wedding lunches are a good idea! eating earlier means that the guests don't fall asleep too soon after stuffing themselves. plus, since it's midday, people tend to drink less alcohol. of course, "tend to" is the operative word. the wine stocks were still wiped out, from what i heard. i hope this trend catches on. lunch slots are cheaper than dinner ones, right?

the wedding itself was lovely. food was good, the atmosphere was appropriately touching and entertaining at the right times. the only complaint i have is about the waiter for our table. he seemed to be in his late teens or early 20s, and doing this for some extra money. while he wasn't outright sucky (not to the point of spilling or dropping anything), he was slightly clumsy. and forgetful. each time my friend and i ordered different drinks, he would inadvertently mix them up. i don't think it'd be too difficult to remember who ordered water and who ordered wine, right? regardless, i guess he was trying his best as well. might be his first event, for all i know.

lunch lasted until about 4:00pm, and i went back to school to pick up some sweets that my taiwanese friend bought for me and the date. then went to the date's place to change, after which we headed to the furniture mall for bed shopping. we parked at IMM, which has ridiculous(ly cheap) parking! first 2 hours free, $1.07 for third hour, 30 cents per 15 minutes after that. very very reasonable; averages out to 30 cents per hour for the first 3 hours. we went to 3 shops in the furniture mall. the first was dunlopillo, where a nice saleslady took the time to explain everything to us. i tried some of their mattresses, and they were pretty comfortable. was quite taken by the ones with a latex top layer. it's supposed to be the most cooling and breathable one...as well as the most expensive. was quite happy with the service there, just that prices were a bit too steep.

our second stop was much less positive. after the first casual question, the saleslady started talking about price. and there was something in her tone that sounded unfriendly and condescending to me. didn't stay too long there, also because they had nothing which caught my eye, anyway. the third and final store we visited was where i found something i liked. in addition to drawers on the bottom for storage, the bed's headboard is hollow, and there are some side panels too. not to mention it's solid wood construction, not plywood or fibreboard like ikea. settled for a cotton mattress without the latex layer. it seems cooling enough, and with a mattress protector, i think it'll be ok. my new room has air-con anyway, so not much worry actually. the saleslady was very good, too. not as polished as the first shop, but definitely equally honest and sincere, if not more so. ended up getting that bed, after receiving affirmation from the date as well. you may be wondering, what does the date have to do with any of this? well, the bed is not 100% for me any more...in case they sleep over or something. that's still a big 'if' for now, but you know...just in case.

having never bought a bed before, i had no idea that a bed of this quality had a long lead time. the lady told me that it was a month, which could be expedited to 3 weeks. going by the calendar of events, i'll be bedless for about a week to a fortnight. nothing i can't handle. worst case i'll move a judo mat in as a temporary measure. i'm actually quite looking forward to the new bed. will have to take better care of it.

since we had time to spare, we then went to yew tee for the date to pick up some cards. they bought 10 booster packs, and we went through the contents afterward. had a decent mix of cards, some good, some normal. i was lucky in that 4 out of 5 packs i opened had double-rare cards. the dare mostly got regular rares, and one with 4X rare. i guess it balances out? regardless, that's less important. seeing the date happy was my reward for the trip.

doing so much in a day gives me this odd sense of accomplishment. like, everything went well, no major hiccups (no hiccups at all, actually). i'm content. plus, the date's mother made her famous lemongrass drink, and i was given a bottle to take home! so happy. only slight thing bugging me now is the funeral downstairs. here's another sign of how rich they are - they hired live entertainment! there was a duo singing hokkien songs with the volume turned up all the way. imagine this - i was overwhelmed while waiting for the lift. after going up five storeys, the music sounded like it was just coming out of my computer speaker! thankfully, they had the decency to quiet down as the night wore on. one thing that they didn't have to decency to do, however, was obey the 'no smoking' rule. i can smell the smoke all the way up here! hoping it'll dissipate by tonight.

Very very rarely, there will be nights/early mornings where i wake up and can't get back to sleep. from the time of this post, i guess you'll know that this is one of those times. been awake since like 4:50am, and despite the nice cool weather, no amount of tossing, turning, or sheep counting would get me sleeping again. i suppose it's for the better actually, since i've got a pretty much full day ahead.

moving house is finally happening! phase 1 of the move will be happening later this morning, when most of the stuff that's already been packed will be shipped over to sengkang. i've got about 3 or 4 boxes of stuff this time, and that accounts for about 2/3 of the stuff that i'll be bringing over. the remaining third are things that i'll still be using (computer and clothes, mainly), as well as things that i haven't sorted through yet. that should be settled next saturday i think. going to use the chance to throw lots of stuff away. i realize that i tend to keep things "in case of emergency". but then, the emergency which i had in mind either never occurs, or occurs so rarely that the item is spoilt by the time i really need it. perhaps i should limit my packing space, to like 2 boxes or something. might help me make those tough decisions.

i'm also happy to report that the bed issue reached a satisfactory resolution, with the bed going to my aunt's place. that means that i'll have to go bed shopping. so far, i've done some reading online, and went to check out the seahorse shop at junction 8. while the shop did have the type and size of bed that i was looking for, i didn't have full confidence in its structural integrity (especially whether the bed could support 2 people), and the finishing of the wood clashed with basically the entire concept of the room. so, i'll pass on that. the date recommended big box and IMM, so i think i'll drop by those places soon. maybe even as soon as later today. other alternatives include novena furniture mall, courts, and ikea. trying to avoid ikea, though...the furniture there is practical and (sometimes) stylish, but at the same time...it feels a little overly practical and general. for instance, the computer table which i'm currently using has adjustable shelves, and various holes for the pegs to fit. some of those holes have been taken over by some type of insect, which is building a nest inside. quite gross. i definitely don't want the same thing to happen to my bed, especially when i'm spending a daily average of 6-7 hours there.

brief sidetrack: there's been a funeral wake going on under my block for a few days now. it's not an uncommon sight, but the reason i'm taking the time to mention this particular funeral is because of its epic proportions. my block is built in a "C" shape, and there are 4 sections of void deck, 2 big, 2 small and unusable for this sort of thing. a "normal-sized" wake takes up one big section. this wake occupies both big sections, as well as a section from the neighbouring block. the wreaths are numerous enough to line the walkway/corridor, and the banners and blankets are overflowing. get this - they hung a banner up across 2 blocks. it's about 2 storeys tall and 10 metres wide, give or take a bit for parallax error. they even have waiters to serve the guests! in all my years of staying here...no wait. in all my life, this is probably the biggest funeral i've seen for someone who isn't a well-known figure. makes me wonder a bit...why? a part of me is tempted to say that either the deceased or their relatives have underworld connections, but it's just my overactive imagination. the more likely reason is that the family is rich...although if so, why hold it at a HDB void deck? again, this is just my imagination speaking. maybe they family has to put on appearances, or maybe the living relatives want to compensate for treating the deceased badly? think i watched too many TV dramas in the past. the most likely reason could be that the kids are filial and spared no expense. whatever the reason actually is, it's none of my business, of course. just that it's fun to exercise the mind and imagination now and then. yes, it might be kind of disrespectful to the deceased, but i figure that since i don't know anyone there, didn't reveal any identifying details for anybody, and (mostly) kept my opinion to myself, there's no harm.

since i've got some time to spare, i guess i'll just vent a little about driving. it's been on my mind for a while, after all. i seriously wonder how some people got their driving licenses. since i started driving regularly close to 3 years ago, i've encountered all sorts of morons on the road. thanks to the date's influence, and a small polar bear stuffed toy in the car, i tend to get less angry these days, "less" referring to both magnitude and frequency. still, some things do irk me. drivers going slow on the rightmost lane, for one. look - i'm not saying that people can't drive slowly. it's well within their right. but the law says that slow vehicles are to keep to the left, otherwise it's road-hogging. i interpret "slow vehicles" to mean vehicles that are travelling slowly, not just those with a low speed limit. even then, i'm fine if they filter when they notice me approaching. i'm even fine if they filter after i high-beam. what gets me is that if they remain oblivious, or worse, start behaving like idiots and playing with their brakes. if i can't stand it, i'll usually overtake and flip them off, which does wonders for my soul. the other usual pet peeves of people not signalling, straddling two lanes, and various other moronic behaviour still apply. and more than once, i've seen drivers talking on their phones, with and without headsets, or fiddling with their radios. forgive me if i'm wrong, but isn't driving supposed to be about enjoying the experience of driving? granted, it's hard to enjoy the feeling and scenery if you're rushing for time, or in an emergency. then again, if you really were in those situations, messing with the radio and driving slowly would be the last thing on your mind, right? will never understand. if the traffic police had a civillian officer thing, i'd definitely sign up. would love to put some of these idiots in their place.

elsewhere, this week hasn't been all that productive. although i've written most of the text for my QE report, i estimate that i'm only about 60% done. still have to finish the figures, reference and citations, supporting information, and powerpoint. ok, maybe not even 60%. regardless, my internal deadline is to send the report draft (with references and figures, no supporting info) to my professor by this coming wednesday. then i'll work on the supporting information on thursday and friday, and collate the necessary data. powerpoint will come the week after that, and by the time i'm finished, my professor will be back in singapore. i think it'll be ok. the slightly worrying thing is my results. they seem to not bode well for the future of this project. regardless, i'll have a talk with my professor so that we can set a direction for the current research, and make contingencies.

ok...today's going to be packed. my lab friend is having his wedding lunch today, and i've been invited. got to get a haircut and squeeze in a gym workout before that. thank goodness the gym and hotel are literally 5 minutes' walk apart. going to EC house at thomson plaza to cut my hair. they open at 9:30am on saturdays, which is a blessing. the one at bishan opens at 10:00am, while some other branches go as late as 10:30am. parking fee aside, thomson plaza is pretty convenient, as i can go withdraw money for the red packet too. with luck, i might be able to squeeze everything into the 15-minute grace period, but i won't be too ambitious.

did some reading up on giving red packets at a wedding. in particular, i read a blog post which stated that a red packet should be a symbol of blessing to the couple, and not viewed as paying for your meal. the writer also adopted a rather hard-line view, saying that she (i think the writer was female) would only give as much as she valued the relationship, and that she'd turn down invitations from people who don't otherwise keep in contact. though my views are more moderate, i do tend to agree with her. case in point, two of my JC classmates are getting married to each other today as well. they invited most of the class, i think. some people are going, and that's fine. even if i didn't already have this wedding to attend, i probably wouldn't go either. you see, we graduated from JC almost 10 years ago (it'll be 10 years this december). in that time, i have met up with the bride and/or groom only...thrice, maximum. i don't consider myself close to either of them. this is compared to some of my other JC friends, where we meet at least once or twice a year. to me, it comes across as them trying to make up the numbers. of course, this is a rather cynical (and perhaps unfair) view. they could be trying to use the occasion to get everyone back together again, and want us to share their special day. oh don't get me wrong, i'm willing to bet that they do want to share the joy. at the same time, i'm also sure that a part of it is for practical reasons, ie. making up the numbers for more "revenue".

for the other part about how much money to give, i do agree with that other writer, who says give as much as you feel like. at the same time, i do acknowledge that there is a bit of a cost-covering element involved. wouldn't call it an obligation, but if i'm close enough to the couple and on good enough terms, and if it's within my means, why not? in fact, although i'm not invited for one of my chemistry friend's wedding later in the year (it's in japan, that's why), i will still give him a small red packet as a symbolic gesture. i just don't believe in the whole "market rate" thing, whereby you take the price of a table and divide it by number of people per table to get the minimum amount that you should give. it's way too mercenary for my liking. after all, i think that in the absolute (but very unlikely) worst case, the couple should be able to bear the cost of the wedding even when zero red packets are received. ok, it may be a bit extreme. but you get the idea.

right then. i should get started on my day. reminders to self: shave, bring a set of formal clothes and shoes for the wedding, and a set of less-formal clothes for the date. also, pick up the sweets from school. this means i need my ID.

-random thought of the day: Busy busy!-

Got back not too long ago after celebrating the date's mother's birthday. we had a nice simple (not to mention really early) dinner at holland village. had wanted to go somewhere a little more upscale, or even cook dinner myself, but the date said that holland v would be fine. the original plan was to have char grill bar, which is the name of the western stall in the coffee shop. in the end, the mother and i settled on porridge, while the date went for pineapple rice. was pretty good, though i felt it was a tiny bit pricey ($6 for a single claypot of porridge, while the pineapple rice cost $10). well...it is holland v, plus it's a birthday celebration. no point counting every last dollar, right? we then went back to their place for dessert, in the form of some nyonya kueh. the mother somehow heard from the date that i was partial to such things, and made 9-layer kueh for me last week. this week, it's one that i like as well, but don't know the name. it's 2 layers; glutinous rice on the bottom with a layer of green pandan? flavoured jelly/custard on the top. i'm not describing it well, i know. it's solid enough to hold its shape and to be cut, so it's not fluid like a custard. at the same time, it's not brittle and wobbly like jelly. maybe pudding might come close. after dessert, the date and i had a quiet night playing co-op final fantasy explorers, and i watched then play pokemon a bit before we had a short nap and i went back. i quite like dates like this, that don't involve a very busy itinerary and which are easygoing on the wallet. but can't do it too often, either. while i'm ok with it, i can very easily see that the date would get bored if it happened too often. i think once in 1 to 2 months is a decent enough frequency for now. perhaps it'll go up a bit when things get more serious.

a couple of things stand out this past week. first involves the new house. my dad went to get a bed for my room. problem is (1) he didn't check with me, and (2) i have issues with his choice of style and colour. colour is not a minor point, but let me elaborate a bit on style. i had planned for a bed whose bottom could be used as storage space. i was thinking drawers, because i planned to store my clothes in there, and would thus require frequent access. to his credit, my dad did get one with storage space, but in order to access it, the mattress has to be lifted, with the hinges at the short side. acceptable if you're going to lift the bed up once in a while, but certainly not for everyday use. plus, the bed can't clear the wall shelf that's installed just above it. seriously, what is it with people making decisions for me? like the air freshener incident, he's overlooked the same thing again - that i have to live with the consequences of his actions. sure, maybe it's good material, good quality, and i'm sure that functionally, it is a very good bed. but it isn't practical for my intended use, which makes it non-ideal. i don't care how much money is wasted, or how much effort it took. the simple fact remained that if i was asked for my opinion, none of this hassle would have occurred. and of course you may say i'm being ungrateful or whatever. perhaps. let me also remind you that it's supposed to be my room, and i'm supposed to have full control of the design, furnishings, colour, every little detail. it's different if i ask them to make the decision for me...i'd accept whatever they chose. but as you can see, i knew that we had different things in mind, which is why i insisted on seeing everything myself and having my own input. and as this incident proves, i was right to do so.

so, how will this incident be settled? my dad has said that he'll see if the bed can be modified. but if i know anything about the way disagreements are dealt with around here, he'll sweep it under the carpet and hope that i forget or grow to accept the current situation. that's not going to happen this time. even if it comes down to me moving the bed out myself, or in a more extreme situation, demolishing the bed so that it fits through the door, i'll do it. it really makes me wonder sometimes, about the concept of family. you may have guessed that i'm not the biggest believer in it. i choose to believe that family does not necessarily mean people who are related to you by blood...but that's for another post.

the second thing is oddly related to the first issue. my old secondary school coach just got in touch, and we had dinner on thursday. that was followed by a quick trip to see his new place. he's in the process of moving into a condo in the changi region, near the japanese school. it's actually pretty close to the sengkang house. the interesting thing about the condo is that it's sports-themed, with a nice pool, jogging track, small gym, multi-purpose hall, and even a rock-climbing wall. he did say that i could drop by to use the facilities whenever, which is nice. on top of that, he did say that i would be welcome to "rent" the second room. "rent" is in quotes because it's not a strict landlord-tenant arrangement, in that he wouldn't be collecting rent payments from me. instead, he said that we could work something out, like i pay for utilities, which is still far far cheaper than the market rate for renting a room. on top of that, with changes to his work timing and all that, he did say that we could even work out a plan to share his car. that isn't necessary right now, since my car still has about 10 months before the COE goes. it sounds ridiculously attractive. plus, with the current disagreements i'm having with the people i'm living with, it seems like a great plan. both push and pull factors are there! although there is one super big deterrent - he smokes, and heavily, at that. my sinuses would never tolerate it, not to mention all the negative effects of second-hand smoke. and don't even get me started on all the tiny particulate matter (ash, mainly) in the air. it's so unfortunate that just one particular negative point can be a deal-breaker here. if the smoking thing didn't exist, i'd have said yes the moment he offered. oh well.

talking to him, and finding out how much housing costs in singapore, really makes me wonder how anyone can afford a house. HDBs go for 6 figures minimum. let's say i want to buy a house that costs about $300 000. naturally, i'd have to take a bank loan because i'm not rich. assume i'll earn $4000 a month by that time, and about half of that goes to servicing the loan. not even counting interest, i'd take 150 months to pay that off, or 12 years and 6 months. well, ok...that's rather simplistic. i'm not even accounting for the CPF part...mainly because i don't know how it works. i figure i still have some time to think about it.

would like to blog more, but i should be heading to sleep. have an earlier-than-usual sunday tomorrow, as i'm going down to SJC to put our plan into action.

-random thought of the day: I have a mini-cat on my 2DS!-

Really can't remember when was the last time i stayed this late in lab. must have been months, at least. i'd avoid it if i could, but my minion (aka. UROPS student) has a time-point experiment running, and i can't leave him alone in good conscience...or without violating a few safety regulations. so, here i am. admittedly, i have a few small tasks to do in lab as well, but they are totally not urgent at all.

you know, i've been so used to research stagnating or going slowly, that i'm a little afraid of taking the next step. this was especially the case while i was in my old lab, where although i had some minor synthetic breakthroughs, there was basically nothing to show for my 3 semesters of grad study there. at present, my next step is the qualifying exam presentation, which is set for end-july. i know who both of my examiners are, and according to the rest of my friends who are still in NUS, i've caught a break with these two professors. one of them was a lecturer for one of my undergrad modules, so we're somewhat acquainted. the other one seems pretty nice, so that's a relief too. nevertheless, it still is rather nerve-wracking. most of my friends have passed their QEs already, and i'm technically behind. i should be looking to get this over with ASAP, since it'll be a milestone in the course, plus i get a pay raise. my professor thinks that my current research data should be enough to cross this hurdle, and i'll place my faith in him. my most immediate concern is writing the QE report (about 30 pages) and preparing the powerpoint slides. considering that i have almost all the data i need, and almost 2 full months from now to do it, i don't foresee too many issues. the only thing is that my professor will be overseas for a month starting next week, so there'll be some reduced communication. regardless, i think he'll come through if/when i need him.

moving house has been in the works for so long, it feels like it'll never happen. what was supposed to happen in december got pushed to march, then june. my latest info is that the contractor is doing up the new house. i've been there, met with them, and made some decisions regarding the style and layout of what is to be my room. the process was smooth in general, with a few very slight hiccups that were resolved easily. i wonder when the actual move will be. hoping that it's by this month. i don't want to have it hanging over my head as the date for QE draws closer.

had a dinner date yesterday, after which the date and i went to shop for a new wallet. they got one, and wanted to get me one too, but i chose to stick with the one i'm currently using, which was a gift from them also anyway. after getting the wallet, something happened, and i thought it was quite amazing. won't say what it was here in the interest of protecting the date's privacy, but it really gave me hope that this relationship is going somewhere. it's a step in the right direction, i guess...and i'm really really happy that it happened.

was supposed to be a bit more philosophical this post, but i don't think that'll happen today. got caught up supervising minion and preparing evidence for another case in a couple of weeks. so i guess i'll end off by saying that things are great, i'm happy, and i hope this upward trend continues forever...but realistically, for the next 3 months, at least.

-random thought of the day: Liberating to be away from MMOs.-