As 2012 winds down to a close, i find myself with about 3 hours to write my end-of-year post. should be enough time. to be honest, my thoughts are a little less organized than usual, so watch out for missing links.

let's see now...i haven't really decided on this year's theme yet. the year was kind of...monotone, actually, with most of it being occupied by research in the lab. of course, there were highs and lows, but ultimately, i think they average out to a pretty good year. checking back on my new year's resolutions, it seems that i've fulfilled most of them, except for the ones relating to physical fitness. seems to be a recurring trend, that one.

other memorable events include various refereeing assignments, judo training (though i haven't been going as often as i should), taking my first group of year 1 students for TA (with more to come since i'm doing postgrad), school with the chem kids, which encompasses stuff like pre-exam study, rushing for deadlines, and interesting conversations. i really really appreciate having them around. in fact, i think it's because of them that i was able to jump back to second-upper. something about positive peer pressure.

there is one rather upsetting thing i've noticed recently...like within the last semester. i seem to be procrastinating much much more, to the point where it's messing with my schedule. thankfully i can be sufficiently motivated for important things, like deadlines for school work and similar stuff. but i don't know...it kind of sucks. guess that's something i can work towards improving next year.

incidentally, my tendency to procrastinate also kind of messed up my east coast plans. i should have gone yesterday, because the weather was nice and not-rainy. then again, i didn't expect it to rain for most of today. nevertheless, i still tried. went to eunos, got on 55, then decided it wasn't going to let up in time, and subsequently looped back to eunos and came home. even though i got some thinking done on the bus, it doesn't seem to be enough. could be why i'm lacking in substantial content this time round.

well, as the year ends, i'm grateful that i have no major regrets. for all the minor stuff, there's always time to improve. meanwhile, i think i'll jump back into batman for a bit. no better way to end 2012 than by being batman, is there?

-random thought of the day: Must stop gaming when school starts.-

Boxing day finds me having mixed feelings. for one, i got my results (more on that soon), and my reaction failed. well, maybe not failed. more like didn't (couldn't?) start.

getting results this semester was a little disappointing. for the past 3 or 4 semesters, i've been used to seeing better grades than expected most of the time. this semester, my grades are:

CM4212: A-
though it looks like a good grade, i'm actually a tiny bit disappointed. because if you ask me, i think i was hoping for an A really really deep down. nevertheless, it's something i can live with. unlike...

CM4271: B
this was really below expectations for me. guess i messed up the mid-term (amino acids!) and probably the final as well. still, i suppose i can take comfort in the fact that B is the highest grade among the chem kids who took the module.

LAJ2202: A
considering the mid-term, and my poorer-than-japanese-1-and-2 performance for the various small quizzes, i thought that an A might just be out of reach. nevertheless, this is a good sign. looks like it's definitely japanese 4 next semester. and based on this, i owe some of the chem kids a meal.

semester CAP: 4.33
overall CAP: 4.09

CAP went up! by 0.02 only, but i'll take what i can get. based on these results, i've done more CAP calculations so i know roughly where the bar is set for next semester. of course, the standard rule here is "the higher the better", but i think having a rough gauge is nice. also, now that more modules' grades are confirmed, there is less left to chance/uncertainty. assuming my honours project gets a B+, i can afford B-'es for all the other 3 modules. in the event of a B, i'll need the equivalent of 2 Bs and a B+. and if goodness forbid i get a B- for honours project, i'll need a score which gives me the same CAP as 2 A-'es and a B+. these are all for a CAP of 4.00, by the way. if possible, i'd like my final result to be a bit higher than the bare minimum.

having done all this calculation, it seems quite hard for me to fall back to second lower...provided that my honours project scores well/decently. though i'm a little doubtful of my own calculations. do i really have THAT much leeway? maybe that's why my friends with CAP 4.2-something are all taking it easy, or planning to do so next semester.

one other thing that didn't go according to plan today was my lab work. NMR confirmed that all i got after column was the starting material again. now, this raises 2 questions. first, why doesn't this new thing react? could be because i used the optimal conditions for a different type of compound, so now i've gone back to 100 degrees for at least 12 hours. hopefully that gives better (or at least some) positive results. the next question is more puzzling. to separate what i thought were my products, i used a pretty polar solvent blend. but during substrate synthesis (ie. reactions to make my starting material), i've had to use very very non-polar solvent blends to separate essentially the same things, and even then, with limited success! makes no sense at all.

with this not-good outcome from lab, it looks like i won't be taking the rest of the week off. maybe friday, if things go well, but i definitely have to go back tomorrow. kind of sucks, but hey, life can't always be smooth-sailing, right? at least i have a beer and king crab buffet with the usual gang of JC classmates to look forward to. which reminds me. i should go to school earlier tomorrow (again), so that i can leave on time to make it for the dinner.

-random thought of the day: Everlasting Gobstoppers are less everlasting than expected.-

Is it christmas eve already? and more importantly, have THREE WEEKS really passed since my last exam? the festive mood really hasn't hit me this year. just can't get into the spirit, for some reason...probably the upcoming progress report. that's part of the reason why i didn't send christmas cards this year. the other reason is that i couldn't find the time (and honestly didn't want) to search high and low for cards which agree with me.

nevertheless, i did buy myself a couple of christmas presents. the first being the batman series of games. and there are more games purchases in the works. right now, i'm eyeing the overlord series, as well as command and conquer 4. so far, i've played a bit of batman: arkham asylum, and it's been enjoyable. just wonder how those FAQ writers manage to get 100% completion. for that matter, i wonder how they made it through certain more ambiguous parts of the game. but well, it's a challenge.

my end-of-year plans have been set into motion kind of late this year. in the remaining week or so, i still have to go to east coast for my annual seaside walk (tomorrow), meet the usual JC classmates for dinner (thursday), and put away my notes. seems like i've been putting that off for longer than healthy. other than that, there isn't much else on the schedule. hopefully, my reaction goes well, and the NMR comes out nicely. if that really happens, i might take a really long weekend...like thursday to tuesday kind of long. but let's not get my hopes up now.

-random thought of the day: Hope everyone reading this is feeling the Christmas spirit more than I am!-

*quick update, christmas day, 10:00pm*

Merry christmas! i'm not starting a new post because i realized that i forgot to mention some things which should have been in yesterday's post. so i'm continuing here for a sense of continuity and to make it easier to read a little (at least to me).

yesterday, i did something which i've been meaning to do for that last...5 to 6 years(?) - which is to go to orchard to view the christmas lights. going on christmas eve was perhaps not one of my wisest decisions. anyway, i realized that i haven't really missed much. it wasn't as...magical as i was hoping for it to be, though i liked the silver/white/light blue lights which tangs used. maybe the mood was killed a little by the sheer amount of people, and their tendency to stop at a moment's notice to take photos. after viewing the lights at street-level for about 10 minutes or so, i thought it was safer to duck back into ion orchard for a walk-around.

though it was crowded indoors as well, the crowd was better than outside. i knew ion orchard was big, but i didn't realize just how big "big" was. granted, it was only my second time inside, so i may not have got a good sense of scale the first time round. anyway, i've come to a conclusion: out of all the stores in the mall, i'd probably only be willing (and rich enough) to shop at 20% of them at most. some of the more interesting stores i saw were the bookstore, various eateries, and this particular store that sold oils, vinegars, and alcohol. apparently you can mix and match to make your own blend of one of the three things above. sounds interesting.

another place i stopped at for quite a while was the bookstore. think it's called prologue...or something that starts with a P anyway. spent a bit of time browsing. saw the boogie board again. you know, the paper-replacement i blogged about approximately half a year ago? was tempted to buy it, but didn't because (1) it's expensive (about $40 if memory serves) and (2) it's a bit small. if i'm going to use a paper replacement, i'd like something that's actually A4-sized.

after that, i came back to bishan, and remembered that i had to stock up on sweets for lab. to my disappointment, NTUC (both branches) and shop n save both didn't have the fox mints any more. all they had was the assorted fruit version, which i'm not that inclined towards. seeing as that was the case, i bought blackcurrant hacks and gobstoppers. would have bought something minty, but all the minty stuff was chewy, and i was looking for hard sweets (they last longer). though i did get black mint mentos, just to try them out. they're quite powerful, actually. i like.

if you remember, i was supposed to go to east coast today. well...that didn't work out, because i took an afternoon/early evening nap, which threw the schedule off. so, that's now set for friday, saturday or sunday, depending on whether my professor wants to meet for presentation rehearsal. at any rate, it'll have to be done before monday. meanwhile, lab tomorrow. really MUST go a bit earlier. NMR's at 4:00pm, and i need to finish my reaction and prepare my samples by then.

-random thought of the day: Still not feeling it.-

So far, this week has been pretty routine...with today being an exception. we had a research group lunch at straits kitchen, located in the grand hyatt. don't know what the occasion is...probably an end-of-year thing. anyway, the lunch was buffet-style, featuring local dishes. it was good, but not very extraordinary. in fact, i dare say i've had better at hawker centres. but well, i guess part of the attraction is finding such diversity under one roof. other than that, i can't really see why people would go out of their way to eat there.

maybe it was because of the lunch, but there was a general atmosphere of lethargy in the lab after we got back. a few of the seniors left earlier than normal, too. lucky that i didn't schedule any complicated lab work or difficult experiment today...just a very simple column and product collection. if all goes well, the product that i'm hoping to get will mean that my reaction works for another class of compound.

my sleep cycle has been pretty messed up recently. like, i can't feel awake until around 11+am. and that results in me going to school at around 1:00pm on average. i'm attributing it to holiday mood for now, but i hope it clears up when school starts.

which reminds me. i think i'm suffering from something called "schedule karma". see, for years 1 to 3, i don't recall having issues with module clashes or the like. then again, it could also have been because i could switch my electives around pretty easily. now that i'm set on taking japanese in year 4, i faced timetable issues for last semester, and will be facing them again for the upcoming semester. admittedly, last semester's resolution worked out for the best, as i would probably have died if i'd taken coordination. this semester...i don't know.i'm looking at 2 possible outcomes. (1) take organic synthesis, with permission to skip japanese lecture. (2) take bioinorganic, and go for japanese lectures. the reason it's such a big issue now as compared to last semester, is because the clashing module is organic synthesis. since i plan to go into that area of chemistry, it shouldn't make sense not to take the module, right? but at lease i'm taking asymmetric synthesis, which is more related to my professor (in fact, he's teaching the module). well, whatever happens happens.

-random thought of the day: Buy sweets for lab!-

Have you heard this song? i heard it for the first time yesterday while driving home from school, and i think it's the nicest new english song i've heard this year. more for the beat/tune though. the lyrics are just ok to me. quite surprised that it was by green day, of all bands. expected them to be more punk-ish. but still, nice music is nice music.

the last post was tuesday, which means i have roughly 5 days to catch you up on. sounds like a lot, but in truth, not much happened. on wednesday, i went to watch rurouni kenshin (the movie) at kallang leisure park. incidentally, i think filmgarde is using some pretty good economics here. despite having only 2 cinemas, they can still pull crowds by having movies that are screened only by them. this movie was one such "filmgarde exclusive". going to kallang leisure park and seeing the christmas decorations up already reminded me that christmas is coming. and unlike previous years, i haven't even bought christmas cards yet.

...but i digress. the movie itself was good! *SPOILER WARNING if you haven't seen the anime* basically, the movie took the first...10 or so episodes of the anime and compressed it into 2 hours. i understand there had to be some cuts to make the time fit, so i expected to not see some characters there. what i was mildly annoyed about is that they changed one character's fighting style, and missed out one of his important features (arm stripes). also, kenshin's hair is supposed to be red, not black. that aside, the fight scenes were well choreographed, and it was interesting to see kenshin use more empty-hand techniques during fights. watching the movie after having taken japanese 3 in NUS was fun, too. though i still need subtitles, i'm relying on them less. and there are certain things (like feelings or small nuances) that get lost in translation, and i think it adds to the experience to pick those unconveyed things up. i'm fairly convinced that the movie was shot on-scene in japan, because the background was too beautiful and natural to be a man-made set. makes me want to go to japan so much more! so annoying.

in the lab, i've done one new substrate...or at least, what i think is one new substrate. still have to NMR it to confirm its identity. so that's one substrate this week. still looking pretty on-schedule! though i'm kind of angry with myself for messing up one other reaction, especially since it was large-scale. but it's ok. i can run it again. should probably start spending a bit more time in lab. somehow, i'm feeling a bit worried.

yesterday was a really productive day! managed to column out my product (wasted about half due to overlap, though). should use even less polar solvent next time. that aside, i also went to plaza singapura to get 3 major errands done. (1) pay my phone bill, (2) buy a new iphone cable, and (3) buy some elastic string. not much to say about the first 2, but the last one could use some explaining. see, a few years back (when i was in J1 or 2, i think) i...took over a bracelet of magnetic beads from my dad. it's the kind that you can slip on, since the beads are held together by elastic string. last year or so, i noticed that the string had started to fray, so i rarely wore it. finally decided that i was going to fix it myself, so i went to spotlight to get the elastic string. luckily enough, i bought the last reel of clear string they had! well, i mean they had pink in stock as well, but no. the string was a little thin, and the guy at the store suggested that i double up the string to make it stronger. think i went overboard by using 5 rounds instead. took me about 5 hours to re-string the beads, mainly because i kept getting slack string and had to undo some of the threading to tighten it up. not to mention the beads are magnetic, so they kept sticking together in all the wrong conformations. made my eyes really tired, too. nevertheless, the job's done, and the only worry i have is that i may have strung them a little too tight, and i'm a little worried that the string may snap. well, if that's the case, i still have a lot of leftover string for re-stringing if need be.

speaking of bracelets, i have this odd...not obsession, more like urge, to buy nice-looking bracelets and rings. similar to notebooks (the paper ones, not computers). another common point is that i rarely use them after buying them. thankfully, i've got enough self-control to ignore those urges, though special occasions (like christmas) weakens it a bit. i think now's a good time to clarify...not those thin girly bracelets, something more like this:

so, i guess if a car's out of your budget for my christmas or birthday present, you now have some alternative gift ideas.

before this, the last time i'd been to plaza singapura was sometime last year, or earlier this year. at that time, i didn't notice that a new section was built off the second floor. was it done recently? or did i have another blind moment last time? anyway, i went to explore the area a bit (that's where i got my iphone cable, too). seems interesting. saw mostly dining places, though. think it's worth another visit sometime soon, when there are less people.

now that it's the holidays, i've had a bit more time on my hands. that's resulted in me reading more romance-y stuff again. to directly translate a chinese idiom, i really don't know how how to write the word "die". sucks, but i'll get over it. there is a slight positive, though. i rediscovered x-men: evolution, and found out that marvel has posted all the episodes on youtube!

next week is pretty routine. more lab work, another kata practice session (i missed today's scheduled session), and possibly meeting some CJC juniors. hopefully, i can get another substrate (or two) done, since i'm thinking of taking a bit of the following week off. after all, it IS christmas week.

-random thought of the day: Thinking of getting a (cheap) fountain pen for fun.-

*note: this was supposed to be posted yesterday, but my internet decided to die on me. so please forgive any inconsistencies in time references, especially since i'm adding on to the post now.*

December is usually a month of rest and relaxation for me. at least, that's how its been since i entered university. this december's a little different, because i'll be working in lab a fair bit. i've done some planning already. there are 5 weeks between now and progress report (which is on the first day of school next semester!). incidentally, i'm the first to present in the cohort. well...along with someone else, i think. there are 2 different presentation venues, so 2 students present at any given time. still can't believe i'm that...lucky to get first draw.

but i've had a real stroke of luck, though, in the form of my examiners. i've got my med chem lecturer, and another pretty nice (or so i'm told) professor. i find it quite interesting, because right now, my med chem lecturer is the person who has the most influence on my grades in NUS. he examined me for UROPS, i took his module, and now, he's examining me again for honours. that's a total of 6 modules (honours counts as 4)! not even my professor has this much control over my grades...unless i take his module next semester.

and speaking of module selection, it seems that i'm facing yet another scheduling crisis. my original plan of taking advanced organic synthesis and asymmetric synthesis for my cores, and japanese 4 as elective doesn't seem to be materializing. as far as i know, japanese lecture clashes with organic synthesis, and i think that the finals will be really close too. actually...a quick IVLE check just complicated things even further. next semester, it seems that japanese 4 will be taught by a teacher who hasn't received very good reviews from a friend who has been taught by him. but well...we'll see.

so, jumping back to lab stuff. i have about 5 weeks. if i make one type of compound per week, that's 5 more types of compound to talk about. it actually sounds doable, doesn't it? 5 days to make 1 compound. if everything goes well, one compound can actually be made in a day, and the next reaction can be tested in another day or 2. including various delays and unforeseen circumstances (such as reaction failure), that's about 3-4 days max for a type of compound. doesn't seem like much time, now that it's put this way. of course, i could try for 2 compounds in a day (using the same reaction). i just don't know. it's quite weird to be having this much problem in lab. after all, i'm just following the journal procedure. either my skill is not good enough, or the journal procedure is off. both are possible, by the way.

what kind of sucks even more is that my mentor has different priorities...as in, i think we should go in a certain direction, and he thinks differently. the mildly annoying thing is that i'm trying to follow my professor's instructions, because i can see the sense in what he says. however, my mentor doesn't seem to agree. while i like my mentor and all, i think he has one disadvantage...he doesn't know the NUS system well. considering that he's only into his second-year as a phd student, and not local, not to mention that i'm his first student. even though my professor isn't local too, he understands the system better because my year is the third or fourth cohort of honours students he's taken. the thing that scares me a little is that my mentor has a pretty laid-back attitude towards the whole honours thing. i suppose it's justified, since he has his own research as well. just hoping things come together somewhat decently by the end of the month.

having this much lab work should mean that i'm more or less tied to the lab, right? umm...not exactly. i made arrangements to catch rurouni kenshin (the movie!) tomorrow with one of my friends from japanese class. the movie is screened exclusively at filmgarde, which is a bit more expensive and out of the way. i normally wouldn't take time off to go watch a movie, especially with a heavy lab workload, but it's the holidays! and that was the first anime series i watched, so in a way, it introduced me to all things japanese. besides, i figure that i shouldn't feel too guilty, since i'm going in early tomorrow to make up for leaving early. my guilt will be further lessened if tomorrow's reactions go well.

i'm sure that i've missed a few things...but i really can't remember what i'd wanted to write about. oh well. it'll come back eventually. meanwhile, i suppose i should have an early night so that i wake up on time tomorrow.

-random thought of the day: Singnet sucks!-

Took a break from lab today to go attend the last SJI/CJC training session of the year. yes, i know i said i have lab work to catch up on. that's why i'm probably going back tomorrow as well (more on that later). but first, i want to blog about the training session. it was pretty routine, and surprisingly, today's senior showing was pretty good. after not doing "rough" judo for 6 months or so (the kata training doesn't count), i got a scrape on the back side of my right fourth finger. the skin really softens when you don't train often. it's that kind of annoying wound where just the top layer of skin gets scraped off, so it's not bleeding, but leaking plasma. still stings when run under water, which sucks.

anyway, there weren't that many people there, so i can't really get a good gauge of the overall standard. however, for the first time in my life, i felt a super strong surge of coaching instinct for one of the kids. i don't know how to describe the feeling...it's like a mad urge to train him one-on-one and build him up (though for various reasons, that's impossible). the thing is, he has great technique, is really fit, and just shows great potential overall. just imagine - he's already blue belt at sec 1! problem is, his mental and emotional aspects are somewhat lacking. not that he's stupid, but he doesn't handle setbacks well, and places unnecessary stress on himself. and those are some things i can help with! don't know why, but CJC coaches (past and present) don't seem to focus too much on mental training. the most they do is train the mind to push past fatigue, which i guess can be considered as a form of mental training, but just barely. i just think that good as he is now, he can be pushed much further. we're talking possible SEA games medal when he's 18 kind of good.

coach-athlete interaction isn't a one-way street. the other half of the partnership is the athlete himself. i can offer anything and everything at my disposal, but there's nothing i can't do without his commitment and consent. at this point, he seems to be rather reserved. people may not know this, but a ridiculously high level of trust is required between an athlete and their coach. i don't think that we're at that stage yet. not to mention he's a teenager, and who knows how puberty will mess with his mind. i don't know...something is yelling at me to make sure his potential develops, and i really want to do it too! chances like these don't come around very often. problem is, with school (for both of us) and whatnot, it's going to be difficult to fork out the required time. well...i've extended my hand already. i just hope he takes up my offer to some degree.

originally, i had to go to school tomorrow for group meeting, so i figured that i would check on my reactions afterwards. but my professor just emailed us earlier today to cancel group meeting. this leaves me in somewhat of a dilemma. i could not go to school tomorrow, and leave checking my reactions until monday. or i could go tomorrow, and set up new reactions (if the existing ones failed), and save some time on monday. what to do? or maybe i'll just go in late. that seems to be an acceptable compromise.

-random thought of the day: No accounting for human behaviour.-

Just one day after exams, and it's back to business in the lab. kind of sad that i don't have december to rest and recharge like normal. worse is, i can't exactly take it easy for lab work either, because my december has to be used to catch up for research.

organometallics was...interesting. the paper wasn't undoable, but at least for me, required a fair bit of thinking. i'm grateful that i managed to not leave any blanks, and i (for once,) don't regret anything i wrote down, even though i know i had mistakes. the reason is that given my knowledge and state of mind at that point in time, i answered the questions as best as i could. i actually think that this is the best core module exam i've sat for in my NUS life so far.

so, after the exam, we went to the italian place at u-town (the same one where i got drunk last semester) to celebrate. this time round, i performed slightly better, and wasn't completely wasted. guess those holiday drinking sessions helped somewhat. the pricing was reasonable...slightly more than $200 for a tower of beer, 8 (12-inch) pizzas, a soup, and a couple of other drinks. splitting by 7 people, that's close to $30 per person. it's mainly the alcoholic drinks, actually. as usual, we had fun relaxing and just forgetting about stressful stuff.

now that semester's ended, i've got a lot of cleaning up to do. putting the notes away, sorting through the accumulated mass of paper near my table, and various other home improvement projects. not forgetting the usual december routine of an east coast walk. this year, i'm thinking of not doing christmas cards any more. but, i still have about 2 weeks to finalize that decision. also, i'm thinking of rewarding myself with something...maybe a (few) steam game(s) like batman, or...i don't know. something that i would not normally buy, at any rate. well, we'll see.

-random thought of the day: Borrowed (but haven't read) a lot of comics.-

Studying in school on weekends is something i've done before. today, however, i've been having some trouble concentrating on my organometallics notes for the past couple of hours. my guess is that i have to get rid of some excess mental baggage before i can absorb stuff a little better.

let's see...at the forefront of my thoughts now is group meeting (where i presented). it's over, but it's given me a fair bit to think about. seems that my research progress is slow, to the point where my professor reminded me that time was limited. it's quite worrying, actually. with that, the chance of me applying for TA next semester has dropped to like...5%, unless december research goes super-smoothly. even then, i might not do it, since the ending weeks (or months) of a project are usually the busiest. that decision is still some time away, though. but something tells me that i shouldn't try.

another thing is that my research may take a different direction than originally planned. nothing wrong with that, but right now, i've suddenly got so many ideas about how to go about doing things, so much so that it's kind of distracting. well, i foresee a lot of lab time after next tuesday.

the japanese exam was...ok-ish. not really difficult, but not that easy at the same time. the main challenge for me was getting through 2 horribly long passages for reading comprehension. luckily most of the comprehension questions were multiple choice and true/false, with only one requiring some writing. i know i made one stupid error in another part of the paper, because i had no idea what it meant. the sentence went something like "what should i do if i want to _____ it into the shelf?" now that my friend explained the meaning of that sentence to me in english, it makes sense to me that the answer should be "return". not knowing this during the exam, i wrote something like "what should i do if i want to not want to look at it into the shelf?" well, it's just a one-mark loss (in addition to other mistakes, of course). with any luck, i'm looking at an A- or an A.

still feeling a little not-all-there. like there's something which i've forgotten about, or didn't do. maybe it's just me feeling guilty about lagging behind for research. the next (and last!) exam's in 3 days (almost exactly 72 hours away, actually), and i know that i should focus on studying. on the other hand, the notes are quite self-explanatory. and yet, i know that the professor will twist something somehow, or test something really obscure, like common names for certain complexes.

well...i think that's enough of a break for now. hopefully, i'll be able to concentrate a little better after this. or maybe i'll give myself a couple of songs' more time before trying to dive in once again.

-random thought of the day: Library books are due next week, not this week.-

4 days later, and i'm somewhat on the road to recovery. nose is much better (though it still gets blocked at night), fever is gone, though a cough has started. i've been sneezing and coughing so much my stomach muscles ache whenever i have to cough or sneeze again! now, i'm no medicine student, but i thought of a theory. its tentative name is "secondary illness". you know most of the time you fall sick, then you end up developing another ailment thanks to the first illness. like at first, all i had was a running nose. some days later, a cough developed, and that's become my main source of discomfort now. or maybe there's a simpler way to explain the phenomenon.

been studying japanese for the last 3 days (including today). i'm at the point where i think i know everything, but i'm also sure that the sentence patterns and grammatical forms will be twisted around somehow. not to mention testing vocabulary from the reference words section, which i only started reading today. i really don't know how things will go tomorrow.

-random thought of the day: Not much else to say.-

I'm hot. or rather, i should say that i'm radiating a lot of heat to avoid misinterpretation. if you know me in real life, "hot" would probably be one of the last adjectives which describes me. anyway, i'm grateful that i made it though the paper fine. the questions were a little odd, especially the compulsory question. luckily, i managed to remember some tricky things, like the difference between specificity and selectivity. there were some things which escaped me though, mostly minor things. considering the ridiculously competitive cohort, i'm hoping for a B+ or A- at least.

as i've promised, i'm dedicating this weekend to getting better in exchange for having made it through the exam ok. my body seems to be holding me to my word, as my symptoms seem to be worsening. a fever's coming on (which is good, since that's your body fighting the bad stuff off, right?), cough is getting worse, and lethargy is setting in too. i should probably have an early night. hopefully the worst of it is gone by tomorrow night.

-random thought of the day: Recover!-

Figures that i'd fall sick the day before the first exam. of all the rotten timing! suppose i should have expected it when i started feeling the symptoms yesterday. after all, uncle murphy hasn't visited in a while. my damage control measures so far include drinking lots of water, and a couple doses of flu panadol. with any luck, i'll be well enough to make it through the paper, after which i have the rest of the weekend to fall completely and utterly sick. then, back on my feet by monday morning, to start on japanese. of course, i can't predict the future, but i hope something along those lines does happen.

don't know for sure what caused this sudden bit of flu...but if i had to guess, it's probably from sitting too close to one of my sick-looking friends yesterday. why wasn't my immune system able to ward the bug off!?? as a result of being sick, i wasn't that productive today. just read through the notes a couple of times (come to think of it, that's actually what i've been doing for most of the week). thankfully, i've been consistent with studying so far this week, so i didn't lose out much from a day of reduced productivity. actually, apart from reading the notes, i don't really know what else to do. the application is kind of...unpredictable.

on the way back home yesterday, i met the only sec 4 SJI judo boy this year on the train. his exams are over, and he's giving tuition now. was nice to see him after something like...4 months? got a few updates about the current CJC/SJI training situation. seems like the timing is such that i may be able to go back for the last couple of training sessions this year. but for now, getting well in time for tomorrow's exam is #1 priority...which means i should try to sleep early.

-random thought of the day: Get better!-

Got home a little earlier today, so i figure i'd do a mid-point update. of course, i mean mid-point of reading week, not the entire exam season. that comes next thursday. so far this week, i've been focusing solely on med chem. while spending the whole time on one module may seem unwise, i've got 5 days between each exam to study for the following module.

don't know why, but i feel like i know everything there is to know for med chem. might be because i went to see the professor for consultation today, and got most of my questions answered. problem is, i know that my friends can probably ask questions which will stun me. well, i've still got 2 days to gain more confidence. not forgetting the earlier part of the module, which requires more memory work than anything.

as i was walking home today, i nearly collided with one of my neighbours as i turned a corner under my block. he was riding a bicycle, and luckily he stopped in time. i'm actually quite puzzled by my reaction, which was to freeze on the spot. being trained in martial arts, i thought that i would have reacted faster to get out of harm's way. that could be accomplished by either avoiding the bike, or altering the bike's path by kicking it or something. was it because of the speed, which didn't give me enough time to react? or was i too tired after studying in school? maybe the subconscious realization that i would hurt him if i knocked the bike away prevented me from taking action? i don't know. but it's kind of interesting to discover my reaction in this kind of sudden, on-the-spot situations.

how would you write an email to your superior/boss, requesting for help (assuming you have a purely working relationship, and are not close enough to be considered friends)? i bet about 95 out of every hundred readers who see this will go something like "dear so-and-so", and try to be as polite as possible. one of my friends just emailed our med chem lecturer, and started the email with one word - "hi". not only that, he was rather...well, not really rude, but direct. his email was basically "can you tell me this? thanks". not to mention he signed off with just his initials. the horror. i felt so bad reading it! how did i come to know about it? because he CC'ed all of the chem kids (ie. within our group of friends) who were taking the module. i don't know whether i'm more embarrassed or annoyed that my name was attached to such an email.

but wait, there's more! the lecturer was nice enough to reply with a detailed answer. and my genius friend was...well, genius enough to use an emoticon while sending a thank-you note (once again with ALL our names in the email)! i mean, have some social awareness, man. there's only so far this kind of...awkward behaviour can be tolerated (and i'm fast approaching the limit). if you're sending an email to your peers, that would be ok (though i'd still be more polite if i was asking for help). despite working for my professor for coming to a year now, i still begin my emails to him with "dear prof..." and sign off with "yours sincerely". seriously, if i was the lecturer, i wouldn't have bothered replying. and that's partially why i'm sometimes reluctant to help this friend with whatever he asks from me (usually grammar and general english checking), because the tone of his email seems to take it for granted that i will help, and that i'm somehow obligated to.

anyway, the schedule for tomorrow and friday looks about the same. you guessed it, more med chem. maybe now that more people are starting to study it (they were preoccupied with other modules before), there'll be some constructive dialogue, and i can find out if my knowledge is really as complete as i think it is.

*minor update from my phone* I just saw an SMS that my dad sent. He transferred $1000 to my account earlier tonight. That just spoilt my whole night. Other than for school fees, I won't accept any allowance or extra money. Is that so hard to understand!?? I'm actually tempted to go withdraw the money now, because I'm actually having trouble sleeping just thinking about it. Annoying to no end.

-random thought of the day: What causes poor social skills?-

Aches and pains are slowly becoming a part of my life again. reason being that we're practising for the kata competition. in fact, i woke up feeling ridiculously sore last monday, despite not doing all that much. this week's session went better than last week's, i think. we're more focused, and it also help that my senior bought a tablet (samsung something or the other, galaxy tab i think) so that we have the videos on-hand for easy reference. worked on the holds and escapes today, since we agree that they'll require the most time. i've got the basic idea, but i still can't execute some of the escapes well...particularly those that require rolling backwards. seems like whatever little core/lower back strength i had has up and left after so many months of not training. also, my hair is still posing a slight problem, even after cutting 4 finger-widths off the end. maybe it's time to revert back to a more guy-like hairstyle.

i've been talking to the federation president and a few other appointment holders before our practice sessions. seems like the federation is understaffed, and needs some help, particularly with computers. after taking a look at their computer set-up, i can see that they really do need help. they have decent hardware...just they they don't know how to use it properly! everything was saved on the 50gb SSD, while the 1tb hard disk was completely empty. so, i was thinking of going down to the federation to help out during the december break. it's not official yet though, it also depends on how behind i am with the research in school. the other thing i noticed after reading through some official notices and information guides is that their english standard is quite horrible. can't blame them, since i believe most of the judo elders are chinese-educated. what kind of bugs me more is that they don't proofread their stuff, or if they do, they don't catch all the mistakes. hopefully i can do some good while i'm there.

yesterday, i was mildly annoyed at having my plans disrupted. i had planned on staying late in school (like 9:30pm or so kind of late) to study med chem. however, my dad SMSed at 5:30pm to say that we were going to my cousin's place. normally, that wouldn't affect me. this time, however, i had to go home early to give the car back. actually, i'm not so much annoyed that i had to go home early. rather, i'm more annoyed at the kind of late notice. because we had plans to go to u-town to celebrate another friend's birthday, but i had to cancel last minute. it seriously makes me not want to take the car any more, in case something like this happens again. kind of sucks.

next week is probably going to be study non-stop. got a couple of appointments with my med chem and japanese lecturers, to clarify some stuff (med chem) and to get feedback (japanese). i can't quite decide whether missing lab is a good thing or not. taking a break from lab is nice i guess, but studying isn't exactly on the top of my favourites list. well, it's not really my choice, is it? have to do reasonably well this semester to secure my second-upper. on a slightly more worrisome note, i feel a running nose coming on. exam season is probably the worst time in the academic year to fall sick...unless you fall sick while rushing for deadlines. hopefully it clears up after a night of sleep.

-random thought of the day: My gi's fitting feels weird.-

No matter how prepared i think i am, i have the horrible tendency to mess up oral presentations. like today's japanese oral interview. while it went pretty smoothly, i forgot to use plain form for one roleplay scenario (the card said "you are talking to a close friend"). luck also wasn't really on my side, as i drew a pretty challenging topic ("what does your country import/export, and where from/to?"). compared to other easier topics, like "your dreams for the future" or "a recent bad experience", it was harder because it required some actual knowledge, and not just personal opinion. good thing i was paired with a malaysian, so we naturally talked about water. guess it was kind of lucky after all, in a roundabout-ish sort of way. just wish that the good ideas would come during the interview, not as i step out of the room.

other than the oral, i received my second organometallics test results. i got 41, which was the same as the first test. unfortunately this time round, it was upon 63 instead of 50. after the lecturer went through the answers, i honestly think a 50+ would have been achievable, provided i read one of the questions more carefully, and didn't misinterpret the phrase "fourth-period transition metals". a quick (rough) calculation shows that i've got 29.4% out of the total 40% of the CA component. not bad, but could have been better. still, i think i'm satisfied.

my mentor asked me to stop lab work and focus on exams. i had wanted to do one more synthesis before reading week, but it doesn't seem likely now. speaking of finals, i've got 3 of them, spaced 5 days apart from each other. med chem is first, followed by japanese, then organometallics (oh wait. i mentioned this in the previous post too). it's both kind of good/bad that the content-heavy module is first...gets the heavy studying out of the way. like last semester, i don't think i'll do a study schedule, since i know roughly what to study and when to do it.

oh. nearly forgot. on monday, the same few of us went to the suntec guild house again. main reason was because it will be closing soon, and secondary reason being that tuesday was a public holiday (but i went back to school anyway). had a couple of drinks and some quite intimate discussion...that kind of sounds wrong, doesn't it? what i mean to say is that we discussed a topic that isn't really good to spread. that aside, it's nice to know that my friends regard me as close enough to have this kind of conversations with. it's a bit sucky that i can't really open up to them 100% yet. it's something wrong with me, not them. eventually, i guess.

since tomorrow's japanese conversation tutorial is cancelled, i've got a free day! i'm actually thinking of taking a day off, since i'll be in school practically every day to study for the next fortnight or so. at the same time, i'm tempted to do a major cooking project, just to make sure i don't get any weird cooking urges during exam season. of course, by "major", i mean my usual stew/soup-type thing. just thinking what kind, and how much of the ingredients to buy.

before i go, i'll leave you with a song which i've been listening to quite a lot in the last few weeks. can't believe it took me 24 years to come to know of its existence.

-random thought of the day: Self-control is important.-

The week passed pretty quickly, so much so that some of the details have slipped from my memory. however, there were a few significant things that i DO remember.

japanese tutorials ended this past week. we're left with the oral interview (next wednesday) before the final. thankfully, i got paired with my first choice of partner. i think we'll do ok, but i've got a lot of grammar revision to do in the next couple of days. it also helps that we've arranged to meet up once tomorrow and again on tuesday for practice.

we also had the second organometallics test on wednesday. good thing i scored well for the first test, because i know i messed this one up. based on preliminary calculations, i've lost about 14 marks (upon 50) for mistakes i know i made. add on those mistakes i didn't spot, and we're looking at a pretty bad score. fingers crossed for this wednesday, when the test comes back.

some good news, lab-wise. the new compound was made successfully...i think. though it looks a little yellow, i'm hoping that the NMR comes out nice and clean, or at least with acceptable quantities of impurity. following that, the next bit of lab work is to synthesize more compounds. just in time too, as my ordered chemicals just arrived. only issue is that exams are coming soon, so lab work will stop for a couple of weeks. nevertheless, the chemicals won't run away, so i've still got some time before progress report in january.

this weekend, i've met more horrible/inconsiderate drivers than usual. things like stopping just after a junction, not looking out for traffic when turning, among others. it's quite amazing how people can act so righteous even when they're clearly in the wrong. in my opinion, people who are in the wrong should behave more...meekly, i guess is the word. like when i drove too close to another car and accidentally knocked its side mirror out of alignment. through the other driver's exclamations and gestures, i just kept apologizing (in gestures) before driving off. i don't know how they can live with their conscience. or am i just too considerate? is there even such a thing?

put my gi on for the first time today since july or so. i met my senior to practise for the katame no kata. since it's our first time, my expectations weren't too high. even then, i still think i'm in pretty bad shape. there's a 95% chance i'll wake up with multiple aches tomorrow, especially in my lower back and right elbow. i also realize that i've forgotten the sequence of escapes for the holds section. have to watch the videos a bit more for them to sink in. at least the competition is some months away, which gives us time to get better. there's also the slight issue about my gi (my most comfortable one is torn, so i've got to get a new one). also, i foresee a haircut coming up in the next few months, though the exact length has yet to be determined.

after 4 months of not keeping in contact with the judo world, there have been come massive changes in the federation. not going into the political stuff, but it seems that things are moving forward now. of course, i don't know the full story, so i may be misinformed. as long as a policy improves the standard of judo in singapore, i'm in favour of it.

next week is the last week of school! don't know whether that's a good or bad thing, since exams are coming closer. my exams are pretty well spaced out...med chem 2 saturdays later, japanese 5 days later, and organometallics 5 days after that. lucky i found out early, because until a couple of hours ago, i had thought that japanese was first, followed by core modules. now that i know, i can adjust my study plan accordingly.

week 13 looks pretty slack for once. don't think there are any major events aside from the oral interview. still doesn't mean i can slack though. have to start on med chem early, especially remembering the structures of those damned amino acids.

-random thought of the day: Going to guild house tomorrow!-

My dad asked me a pretty interesting question on the way to school today. the question went, "how much is parking on-campus?" the fact that he asked me this has got me thinking. i've come to 3 possible conclusions. either it was one of those questions to break the silence (unlikely since we've had longer, completely silent car rides), or he's asking to help him make a decision on whether: (1) to get me a car, or (2) to let me use the car we currently have. of course, i could be reading too much into the simple question, as is my unfortunate tendency. then again, it's kind of weird to ask this kind of question without having something related in mind, right? like for example, why would i ask my friends if they're in school, if i didn't want to meet them in school for something or another? anyway, if he wants to let me use our car now, i think i'd probably decline because his job involves going all over the country, and to do that by public transport would just suck. at least i only need to travel twice a day. while i know i shouldn't get my hopes up, it's hard to not anticipate something that you really want (regardless of how low the actual probability is).

the year 1s had their practical test today. and now that my group's done, it means the end of my TA stint this semester. i found it pretty amusing (and mildly worrying) that the students made some really basic, unexpected errors. i mean, i can't make this stuff up; it's too stupid. you have no idea how many times i had to turn away to hide the incredulous look that was threatening to spread across my face. too bad i can't blog about the mistakes now, since there are another 2 more groups of students who haven't taken the test yet. i'm quite pleased (and proud!) that my "usual" group of students (the ones i've been taking for the past 10 weeks; the TAs were switched up today) were the first complete group to leave the lab. and the day's best crystals came from one of my students! so happy. looks like the long emails and effort taken to push them in regular lab class was worth it. still debating on whether to TA next semester or not, but as i've said before, it also depends on december's research progress.

while idly browsing youtube, i chanced upon full-length japanese romance shows. they're either movies or TV specials...the latter, if i had to guess. it's interesting to try and figure out what they're saying (i still need subtitles, sadly), and also, the storylines are pretty interesting too. this could become a pretty time-consuming habit.

lastly, i am quite annoyed. my clothes are going missing! i've searched the most likely venues, but i just can't find a few pairs of shorts. and it's been about 3 weeks since i've sent them to wash, and i doubt laundry takes that long. wonder where they could be? think i'll look harder tomorrow. but for now, i've got to sleep. quite an early day tomorrow.

-random thought of the day: Still feel unprepared for organometallics.-

Something i ate yesterday has been playing havoc with my digestive system. without getting into the details, let's just say that i've been to the toilet a lot. not sure what it is either, since i didn't eat anything from somewhere i haven't tried before. good thing group meeting was cancelled, because i don't think i could have sat all the way through a presentation without appearing uncomfortable. anyway, i'm feeling ok-ish for now, and i hope that feelings gets better by tonight.

yesterday's column failed. not sure why, but i couldn't get the compounds to separate. well, one last try sometime next week, and i'll move on and change to other substituents if that doesn't work out. it's mildly frustrating, but i think the next time will work out.

managed to survive tuition with TKGS girl thanks to a couple of charcoal tablets. she's got SPA next monday, and i think she'll do ok. after all, how can a simple titration be messed up? we also agreed to stop tuition for the rest of the year, since her school ends on tuesday and there won't be much new content. guess that it's good, since it gives me more time for research on saturdays. could use the extra time, especially as the deadline for progress report approaches.

recently, like over the past 2 weeks, my dad has been dropping me off at school about twice per week on average. don't know if our schedules just happen to match, or if he's taking extra effort. while i do appreciate the time saving and convenience, it's a mildly annoying experience because (as i've mentioned before) i have some issues with my dad's driving. really, he's the kind of driver i'd not want to share the roads with. once again, i can't really say anything bad, because i'm receiving a favour. if i could choose though, i'd much perfer to be driven back from school, since i'm usually tired. that's a bit harder, considering my ending time is kind of variable. but well...nothing wrong with the circle line. at least the train ride is smoother than the red line.

upcoming events include the year 1 practical exam on monday, tuition with army boy tomorrow, and perhaps kata practice. though with my stomach acting up, i'm tempted to put the practice off for a week (or more, since exams are coming soon). depends on how i feel tomorrow. and to my horror, i found out that the organometallics test was scheduled for wednesday, and not friday like i originally thought. at least i found out early, and have tomorrow to study. kind of scary, since the test covers the remaining two thirds of the notes. still, i think i'll get by.

-random thought of the day: Nice, cool night.-

One fundamental principle/concept of science is that experimental results should be reproducible. that means if the procedure is followed exactly, the outcome should be the same regardless of who does the experiment. so, it kind of sucks that i get different results from 2 repetitions of the same experiment. oddly enough, the reaction DID complete in about 15 minutes this time, as the paper said. this is in comparison to more than 2 hours for my previous experience. anyway, the reaction itself was fine, but the problem now is the column. i must have used 2 litres of solvent already, and i'm not getting my desired spot. either that, or my product was mistakenly identified as waste, and thrown away. i'm still hoping that it's in there somewhere when i continue the column tomorrow. yes, i know it's not a good practice to leave columns hanging, but it can't be helped sometimes.

got my japanese mid-term back yesterday. surprisingly, i got 37/50, which is way better than expected. made mistakes with the reading and fill-in-the-blanks as expected, and annoyingly, there were some careless grammatical and particle mistakes. shows that i'm still not reading as accurately as i'd like, especially under pressure from the time. what kind of scares me is that despite the paper's difficulty (mostly due to time constraint), the average mark was 34.99/50, or about 70%. somehow, i get the feeling that it didn't achieve the lecturer's objective of being a discriminating test. but i don't know. all i can do now is hope that the standard deviation was really narrow.

seems that i was wrong about ending tuition with army boy next week. A-level chem paper 3 is next tuesday. paper 2 is a week or so later, and paper 1 is another week or so after that. he still wants a couple of sessions more, so the last time i'll see him should be 2 weeks later. as of now, i'm kind of worried, because he's making mistakes that he shouldn't be making at this time. my expectations aren't high, but i'm still hoping that he pulls a miracle off.

think i should go off to sleep soon. my goal is to finish the column before med chem at 2:00pm tomorrow, as i'm also meeting my TA lab group in the evening to prepare them for the practical exam next monday. one thing that i didn't remember in time was that group meeting this saturday is cancelled as my professor will be overseas attending some conference. despite that, i'm still tempted to go back to lab. we'll see if there's a need for that, depending on how things work out tomorrow.

-random thought of the day: Week 11 is ending!-

Was feeling a little lazy today, so didn't do much (or any, rather) lab work. managed to get my imine NMR, which was quite nice. only problem is the existence of some water, which might cause the reverse reaction to occur. i'm finding it funny/mildly upsetting that my product still contains water despite the great pains i took to keep the reaction system anhydrous. probably that happened during the work-up step. should use distilled solvent next time.

but like i said before, this reaction was the easy one. the subsequent reaction which i'll do on thursday (not tomorrow due to classes) is the hard one. well, the reaction itself is easy, but the following column is hard. hopefully, fresher reagent leads to a better reaction, and i'll have more success this time round.

other happenings this week...TA is all but over. except for a few (like 6) people who wanted to redo their column, the lab was practically empty. between my friend and i, we had 3 students each. how's that for slack? luckily, there weren't any major issues, and we even ended early. last thing for the lab module is the test next week. the procedure is actually pretty easy. what's more, the lecturer was even nice enough to upload the exact experimental procedure a week in advance! that's why i say whoever is smart enough to fail really deserves it. of course, there are steps that, if done wrongly, can cause errors which can't really be recovered from. i just hope that they don't get nervous and mess up.

today, i got a huge weight off my shoulders by talking to my japanese lecturers. since i was in arts, i decided to call on my japanese 1 and 2 lecturer as well. by some stroke of good luck, i caught him just as he came back from somewhere else. chatted with him for about half an hour or so, and i don't know...even now, i kind of miss him and his teaching method. actually, i was kind of surprised that he made time to chat with me, especially since he doesn't teach me any more. the chat with my current lecturer was a bit more...serious, i think. basically told him what i thought about the mid-term, and some other stuff. while he didn't give any new advice (study, revise, ask the teachers if you don't know), i still feel better after talking to him. guess it's because he's more aware of my viewpoint.

i think i'm crazy. or at least more irrational than normal, if recent events are anything to go by. now that i think about it, part of the reason i didn't want to do lab work today was also because there was a (or rather, that) certain someone with whom i wanted to spend a little more time. see? irrational. bad for my health, i think. but still...i think i can juggle stuff well enough.

let's see...anything else? tuition with army boy will end after this week, as his exam is next tuesday. or we might have a couple more sessions for paper 1 and 2. for TKGS girl, her school is still teaching, so we still have to cover some stuff, like rate of reaction. nothing that difficult, i think. don't think i missed anything out, but if i did, i'll probably mention it in another post.

-random thought of the day: Got my replacement earphone things!-

Guess monday's TA being cancelled is a good thing after all, as my reaction failed today. well, to be more specific, the reaction succeeded, but i kind of messed up handling the product. so, it kind of reverse-reacted to give the starting materials again. so, i added even more reagent and catalyst, and put it back onto the heat. i'll check on it tomorrow, but deal with it only on monday. figure that rushing too much is bad. due to the unexpectedly long(er) and (more) painful process, i had to cancel with army boy today. i feel so bad, because i kept him waiting for quite a while. didn't count on him having something else on. anyway, we're rescheduled for tomorrow, so no major harm done, i hope.

despite today being a public holiday, i still went back to school. for some reason, i don't like being at home when there are too many people. reduces the chances of me encountering stupidity. yet, no matter how hard i try, i can't escape it totally. anyway, it was kind of surprising, yet expected, to find most of the phd students back in lab as well. seems that going to lab everyday really means "every day". on the bright side though, i guess that means i'm on the right track to becoming a phd student.

there's a difference between having interest in someone and just being friendly with someone. but when you like someone, the line between the two becomes blurred. i don't know...while i don't want to appear...stalker-ish/needy, i also have this odd urge to send the person a message at least once a day. damned hormones.

-random thought of the day: Tired. Will continue over the weekend.-

The week so far has been...kind of routine. TA, lab work, and the occasional bit of studying. TA-wise, the students finished early, so it means they get a lab session off next week. while it's nice to have a break, it also means that i get paid for a week less. guess it'll be worth it if i use the time productively for honours research.

going by the way things are working out in lab, i'm definitely going to need those extra few hours. after changing to a slightly different compound, my reaction has gone back to failing again. well, not completely failing, but i've got ridiculously low yields and slightly impure product even after purification. don't know whether i'm leaving the reaction for too long or too short. and i'm running out of starting material too...but that's a minor problem since that can be synthesized with much greater ease. hoping that i can finish purification tomorrow, and end up with enough compound to move on to the main reaction. after that, i'll change to a different functional group, and hopefully never deal with this specific compound again.

semester is ending soon, which means that some last few tests are creeping up on us. there's a transition metal organometallics test 2 weeks from now, as well as the standard assortment of japanese quizzes. good thing that this friday is a holiday, as that means the japanese conversation tutorial is cancelled. while i enjoy the class, it's also kind of a relief to not have to remember a conversation for once. i've also arranged to meet the japanese lecturer for a chat. for some reason, i find myself becoming increasingly lost in japanese. mostly my fault, because i don't spend much time on revision. still, i hope the chat will also address some of the remaining negativity left from the mid-terms.

finally, something not schoolwork-related. i don't know, but it seems i'm in like with someone (yes, again). nothing happened with the previous one...the interaction kind of died out. but for this one...it's different. at least, i think it is. could be my brain messing with me, as it tends to do pretty often. not sure if this will work out, or even if there's anything in the first place. well, i'll see where this goes, i guess.

-random thought of the day: Is it normal to hope for something beyond expectations?-

Maybe it was a bad idea to drive to school while my dad was away. don't get me wrong; it's convenient, saves time, and driving back at night is actually quite relaxing. the only problem is that it's made me want a car THAT much more. every time i think of getting a car of my own, i can't help but feel that it's an unreasonable/spoiled thought. once again, i'm operating under the assumption that while getting another car is costly, it won't bankrupt us. anyway, is it really unreasonable? i seem to be the kind of person who makes one sporadic big purchase, as opposed to many small ones. actually, it should even out, right? based on current (and projected future) earnings, i think i can afford petrol and servicing, but not the upfront cost of the vehicle. and since i can't afford it by my own means, i probably have no justification to want it. still doesn't stop me from hoping, especially during those annoying mornings when the buses don't come often, and are packed to the brim. maybe sometime into my postgrad studies.

for now, however, i won't be driving to school anytime soon, as my dad's back in singapore. went to the airport to pick him up, and got into a little bit of trouble for waiting in a no-waiting zone. don't think there'll be any serious repercussions, since i managed to stop the nice CISCO police officer in time. proceeded to the carpark, where i got charged $1.60 or so for about 40 minutes. felt kind of cheated, actually. in fact, i think i would have lost less money circling the arrival hall than parking in the carpark. if petrol costs about $2 per litre, and if one round is about 400m, and assuming i get 10km per litre, i could have done 25 rounds, which might actually have killed enough time. still, the best course of action is probably to find an inconspicuous place to park next time. either that, or leave the house slightly later. or maybe drive slower...whichever works.

as the first paragraph implies, i should be doing postgrad studies in NUS. reason why i say "should" is because although i've submitted the application, it hasn't been approved yet. then again, i don't think i'll get rejected, unless my CAP falls *touch wood*. also, i didn't apply to NGS in the end. kind of troublesome, plus there's an extra interview. though i get less money over the 4 years of my study, there'll be time to make it back in the future. besides, it's not like i can't survive on $2500 - $2800 a month.

in other news, tuition with army boy is becoming...frustrating. exam is in about 2 weeks, and he still has trouble differentiating nucleophiles from electrophiles. i am mildly worried. don't think it's entirely his fault though...army has been known to inhibit brain function. just hope that he sees the light soon.

compared to some of the chem kids, i'm fortunate enough to have my own place in the student room, along with my own fume hood in the lab. well, not really my own any more, since i'm now sharing with another honours student. still, it's better than some of my friends, who have to split 2 double fume hoods among 8(?) people. the only slight complaint i have is that the student room gets warm/stuffy at night. oddly, the corridor is still cool. i guess the air conditioning is controlled by separate systems. anyway, i decided to do something about it, and bought a power fan...kind of like the one i use at home, but smaller and thinner due to the space constraints at my table. quite excited to try it out, actually.

next friday is a public holiday. guess who didn't know that until recently? i'm grateful for the extra day of rest. actually, the holiday makes me half-tempted to go back to lab, but we'll see if there's a need for that as the day gets closer.

-random thought of the day: Feeling kind of unbalanced.-

Being 24 is not much different from being 23...or 22...or 21...you get the idea. still, my age now shows that i've survived 2 (chinese) zodiac cycles. with any luck, many more will follow. got a few birthday wishes, mainly from the chem kids, and one SMS from a number i didn't recognize. he/she (i'm betting on he) knew me well enough to say "bird-day". so far, i've eliminated NUS and CJC people, so i'm guessing it's someone from the extended family, secondary school, or army. quite surprised that someone else remembered, since i don't really publicize it. my wish this year is more or less the same as it has been for the past 3 years. maybe if i don't write it out explicitly for once, it'll come true.

today wasn't that special. but then, my birthdays don't tend to be special anyway. i'm kind of happy that in general, things went more smoothly today, like my timings coinciding with the buses' arrivals, not being late for anything, and stuff like that. that was nice, i think. funny how i don't really believe that it's the 17th. i know all months have a 17th, but 17 october is...surreal, for some reason.

my plan of having breakfast at the community centre's dome cafe ultimately fell through. that's because it closed down after sunday. guess that plan's shelved until the new establishment comes up. from the looks of it, it's another cafe/eatery, so i'll wait for a bit.

well, that's it for now. i've got the car from tomorrow up till saturday, since my dad is going to phuket to participate in some run or another. gives me a bit more freedom...along with the parking and petrol charges. with that, i'm off to get started on a nice bottle of sake which i bought earlier. after all, what's a birthday without at least one drink?

-random thought of the day: Facing minor sleep debt.-

So, it took me 7 weeks to finally get really angry at a student. previously, i'd joked about killing them, but today was the first time i genuinely felt like slamming someone's head into a wall. it's not because he disrespected me (well, he kind of did, but i'll get to that later), or that he undermined my authority as a TA (i'm not power-hungry). instead, what he did was to proceed with the experiment without waiting for me to explain the details. i'm fine with that too, since he's done the experiment more times than i have, and he's more experienced. what made me angry was that the rest of the students, who have never done this reaction in their lives, followed him and did things blindly until i yelled at them to stop. based on what i saw today, i don't think that the students really learned much...so if their final is an organic synthesis, good luck to them.

the student in question had a valid point. he wanted to add the halide, then come for briefing. while that would have sped up the entire process, the students would not have seen the physical changes in the reaction mixture. and this is their only grignard reaction in normal undergraduate life, so i wanted them to watch everything that happened in the flask. it may have been slower, but it was for the teaching opportunity. well, i figure since there's only one experiment left, that student can do what he wants. can't bring myself to be bothered that much any more.

misfortune also seems to occur in groups of 2 or more. not only was i almost late today, for the first time in my undergraduate life, i hurt myself in lab. what happened was that i applied excessive force to a glass rod while stirring a fairly viscous mixture (one of the kids' reaction mixture). the glass rod broke, and cut me on the middle segment of my right index finger, facing the palm. it looks similar in size to some knife cuts i'd sustained before while cooking, so i don't think it's that big of a deal. should heal up in a week or so, hopefully. right now, the plan is to cover the wound with a plaster before lab work...troublesome as it is.

getting that off my chest feels so much better. now, to face yet another source of unhappiness...japanese tomorrow. i'm still not quite over the mid-term. don't know if the tutor will address the issue, or of she even knows i'm upset. this is bad. i seem to be getting angry more easily these days. think i need something cooling.

-random thought of the day: My wrists hurt.-

It's been 2 consecutive rainy sundays. this week though, i didn't have tuition, so i was able to enjoy it a little more than last week. luckily, i got my errands done early, and came home before it began to pour. those errands involved paying my phone bill, depositing the tuition fees, buying train concession, topping up my ez-link card, and borrowing a few library books. doesn't seem like a great deal of effort, and it isn't. nevertheless, i like the thought of getting many things done.

the one thing i planned for, but didn't get to do today is have breakfast at dome. main reason is because i slept at about 2:00am last night, and only woke up at 10-something am today. add in a few delays caused by my phone bill (see below), and i wouldn't have made it in time anyway. i realize that i have to do it sometime this week, because one of the waiters told army boy that they'd be moving out sometime within this week. so, i've got to think of a new tuition venue as well, but that can easily be arranged. the priority now is to catch them before they move. going by my schedule, the best time would either be tomorrow or thursday. see how things go.

my phone bill this month gave me a shock at first. normally, the amount i have to pay is quite fixed...$43.35, provided i don't exceed my allowed minutes or internet usage. this time, the letter said $86.70, or exactly double my usual amount. a call to the customer service people revealed that i didn't pay last month's bill, and a quick ibanking check confirmed that. just when i was thinking that it's been too long since i paid the phone bill. seems like they only cut your service off if you don't pay for 2 consecutive months. never knew that.

gave tuition to army boy twice this week, once on thursday and again on saturday. now that we're moving into organic, i expected to have an easier time, since it's my specialization. unfortunately, i didn't count on him having proportionally larger problems with organic as well. he's got problems with remembering reaction names, conditions, and seeing synthesis routes. can't be that seeing synthesis routes is a special gift or anything, right? or maybe most of the chem kids are able to do it, that's why it appears normal.

other interesting news from school is that my lab got a new postdoc, as well as another phd student whose professor left the school. with 2 of the current phd students about to graduate, that brings the net headcount change to...zero. to think i was hoping for more space! so much for that thought. so far, the postdoc is kind of nice, not putting on airs or anything like that. i'm kind of mildly jealous that he's only 3 years older than me, and already has his phd. but well, that's how NS messes with singaporean guys.

seems like i still can't submit my phd application yet. there are still a couple of details which i have to iron out with my professor and the admin staff. if all goes well, i should be well ahead of the 15 november deadline. still considering whether to apply to/for NGS or not. after talking to one of my lab seniors, it seems that the only negative difference is 2 extra modules, while the positives include more allowance and complete freedom of module choice. seems worthwhile, right?

yesterday, we went to celebrate my cousin's birthday (and mine too, in advance) at this place called uncle leong's seafood in punggol. the food was pretty good and affordable (~$300 for 10 people). the downsides are the ulu location and the poor service standards. not somewhere i would go often, or by public transport. there was also a prawn-catching place and a pool place nearby. the pool place was interesting, in the sense that it charges students and army people $2 for 4 hours. that's like...3 to 4 times cheaper than the typical pool place. just wonder how much they make a day. granted, the location is rather out of the way, so their overheads should be ridiculously cheap. then again, it was pretty crowded yesterday when we went, so i guess they can get by.

incidentally, my dad kind of mentioned that the flat which he balloted for is located quite near the seafood place. and if memory serves, i saw that the closest stop is actually an LRT station. this kind of confirms my decision to get a car if i'm midway through phd studies if/when we move there. it's just way too far from school for me.

well, that's it for now i guess. don't think i missed out on anything. and even if i did, there's always another post waiting to be written, right?

-random thought of the day: Did I just agree to join a kata competition?-

Exams and tests should allow students to apply concepts they've learnt from class. time should be controlled, but the students should not be pressed too tight for time. i'm writing this because of the japanese mid-term today. there were 6 sections, including listening, reading (passage was 1 page long), and writing a short essay (~400 characters). total time? 1 hour. listening took about 5 minutes (rounded down), so that leaves 55 minutes for 5 sections, or 11 minutes per. just the reading and writing alone took me about half an hour. it was completely unreasonable to set such a tough paper, given the short time limit. 90 minutes would have been more appropriate. as i've said before, i can accept not knowing the answer. i can't accept being so rushed that i don't have time to write down what i know. had i known that the test was going to be like that, i wouldn't even have bothered studying, and focused on research instead. realistically speaking, i'd be happy with about 32/50.

i know i shouldn't be demoralized that easily, given my eventual goal. yet, it's hard to not feel bad after such a catastrophic performance. maybe i'll feel better after some sleep. at any rate, i hope my right wrist stops feeling funny soon. think i overabused my hand when smacking concrete pillars in frustration/anger.

-random thought of the day: Still angry.-

A nice rainy sunday late morning/early afternoon has resulted in me rotting almost the whole day away in bed. not the most productive way to spend my time, but it's not bad either. i'm feeling more rested, and the only possible downside is that i sleep too late later on because of that. but since the weather is still nice and cool, i don't think that'll be a problem.

giving tuition to the army boy this week has given me an interesting thought. we're meeting at the community centre's dome cafe every sunday morning. during these sessions, i often see families there for breakfast. makes me wonder why they do it, seeing as the breakfast stuff (eggs, bacon, tomato, mushrooms, bread/toast) can be prepared at home. my guess is between 2 theories...first, convenience. second, a change in scenery. it's actually a nice place. warm/cosy environment, quite quiet (except for the occasional blender and coffee machine noises), with friendly and attentive staff. i'm actually quite tempted to have breakfast there one sunday (despite not being a breakfast person). just have to get up early enough to have some appetite by 10:30am.

thankfully, my careless mistake for organometallics didn't do much damage. the lecturer was ridiculously fast with the marking, and we got our papers back on friday, 2 days after the test. to my surprise, i got 41/50. as expected, i lost marks for the mis-balanced equations, as well as in some other questions, the answers to which i guessed. must remember to be careful with phrasing and terminology...saying that a metal has "one oxidation state" is different from saying it has "one stable oxidation state".

for lab work, i'm running into a bit of a problem with my synthesis. it's the same reaction, but with a different starting material. the reaction doesn't seem to work! don't know if my literature is inaccurate, or if i'm misinterpreting something, or if the reaction simply cannot be done. i've left it stirring over the weekend, so hopefully i get something tomorrow when i go check on it before TA.

seems that my postgrad application is more or less confirmed. by that, i mean the act of me applying for postgrad studies, not that my application was accepted. so...4 more years in NUS, hopefully with a phd to show for it in 2017. but there are certain things i have to do, like prepare documents and other similar annoying stuff. not to forget that my professor is going overseas for a conference in november, so i have to get everything sorted out in the next 2 weeks.

one major downside to phd studies is that plan japan will have to be delayed for a while. i figure that it's actually not that bad, though, since i need more time to brush up on my japanese. a japanese teacher (as in a teacher from japan, not a teacher of japanese) who came over for an exchange/interaction session recommended that i pass JLPT N1 (the highest level) before thinking about working there. so, that's another goal to work towards. i figure that even if i can't take japanese 5 and 6 in NUS, 4 years will be enough to get me up there.

not sure if i mentioned this before, but watching anime (i only watch subtitled anime, none of that dubbed stuff) and listening to japanese songs is becoming a lot more enjoyable. main reason is because i'm hearing more words and sentence patterns which we've studied in class. makes it interesting, i guess. sometimes, there are bits and pieces that get lost in translation, so it's nice to understand the original meaning. but given my amateur-ish understanding, there should be more layers of meaning which i'm not getting.

with the pending closure of city of heroes, i've re-unlocked my signature character (a stalker, interestingly enough) for the purpose of exploring the world a bit more. there's actually not much i haven't seen (new content aside), as i've been actively playing for about around 3 years. sad thing is that despite the closure being more than a month away, the game is more or less a ghost town now. at least i managed to hit level 50, which brings a sense of closure, i guess. there's not much i can do now in-game as well...just jumping around, revisiting zones that i haven't been to for a long time.

next week, there's one last mid-term (japanese) to tackle. probably should have done a bit of revision over the weekend, but it's a bit too late to regret that now. guess i'll use tomorrow and tuesday to catch up. guess lab work won't be my major focus for the first half of the week or so. just praying that i can somehow figure out what's wrong with this reaction.

before i go, i think i should do a lyrics post. today's song is japanese, quite old, and more popularly known in the west as "sukiyaki", which is really misleading as food is nowhere mentioned in the song. upon first impression (to me at least, back when i totally didn't understand japanese), the tune sounds neutral or even slightly happy...probably due to the whistling. but actually, it's quite a heavy/sad song.

Ue wo Muite Arukou (I Face/Look Upwards As I Walk)

Romaji
Ue wo muite arukou
Namida ga koborenai you ni
Omoidasu haru no hi
Hitoribocchi no yoru

Ue wo muite arukou
Nijinda hoshi wo kazoete
Omoidasu natsu no hi
Hitoribocchi no yoru

Shiawase wa kumo no ue ni
Shiawase wa sora no ue ni

Ue wo muite arukou
Namida ga koborenai you ni
Nakinagara aruku
Hitoribocchi no yoru

*whistling*

Omoidasu aki no hi
Hitoribocchi no yoru

Kanashimi wa hoshi no kage ni
Kanashimi wa tsuki no kage ni

Ue wo muite arukou
Namida ga koborenai you ni
Nakinagara aruku
Hitoribocchi no yoru
Hitoribocchi no yoru

*note: "wo" is pronounced "o", like the english letter*

Kanji
上を向いて歩こう
涙がこぼれないように
思い出す春の日
一人ぼっちの夜

上を向いて歩こう
にじんだ星を数えて
思い出す夏の日
一人ぼっちの夜

幸せは雲の上に
幸せは空の上に

上を向いて歩こう
涙がこぼれないように
泣きながら歩く
一人ぼっちの夜

*whistling*

思い出す秋の日　
一人ぼっちの夜

悲しみは星の影に
悲しみは月の影に

上を向いて歩こう
涙がこぼれないように
泣きながら歩く
一人ぽっちの夜
一人ぽっちの夜

Translated
I face upwards as I walk
So that my tears don't fall
I remember a Spring day
For tonight I am all alone

I face upwards as I walk
Counting the blurry stars
I remember a Summer day
For tonight I am all alone

Happiness is above the clouds
Happiness is above the sky

I face upwards as I walk
So that my tears don't fall
I cry as I walk
For tonight I am all alone

*Whistling*

I remember an Autumn day
For tonight I am all alone

Sadness is in the shadow of the stars
Sadness is in the shadow of the moon

I face upwards as I walk
So that my tears don't fall
I cry as I walk
For tonight I am all alone
For tonight I am all alone

-random thought of the day: Nothing comes to mind, actually.-

Not blogging for a week is starting to have some negative effects. beginning to think too much, worry unnecessarily, and do some other unhealthy stuff. tried to blog this past saturday as well, but i just couldn't organize my thoughts regarding what i wanted to blog about. it's not that important, anyway. i'll sit on it for a bit, i guess.

checking back, my last post was...last tuesday! wow, it's been THAT long. nothing much happened during recess week, mostly just lab work with a couple of study days. don't think anything significant really happened...nothing much that i remember, anyway. tuition is a lot more relaxed since i dropped those 2 kids. they didn't contact me, so that's it. frees up my saturday a little. i've also seen the army kid i mentioned a while ago. while he says that his memory is bad, and that he's a little slow in catching concepts, i find him to be not difficult to teach. or maybe we just haven't reached the difficult topics yet. anyway, i think he'll be ok.

this past sunday, i also went for my last external japanese lesson. there's supposed to be a revision this coming sunday, but i think it's kind of pointless. yes, i know i paid for the revision lesson as well, and i should go to make my money worth it. despite that, i can't really bring myself to be bothered about it. felt kind of bad when the teacher asked why i wasn't continuing. but truth is, university workload is increasing, so something else has to make way for now. i was kind of mildly annoyed at one of the remarks the teacher wrote on my homework, and that was to write my kanji more neatly. having studied chinese and written chinese characters for most of my life, i've kind of developed my own "font". same with english letters. so, it just feels weird to be asked to modify my writing style, especially when the problems are minor (like rounded corners, for instance). but i understand he's trying to do his job well.

lab work so far this week has been kind of sporadic, due to various quizzes and mid-terms. despite that, i still managed to do a few NMRs, and i can now confirm that the reaction worked. does my heart good to see that. still have to do a bit more optimization, while concurrently making other substrates, which means more long syntheses...or rather, long columns. well, it should be ok, considering my next mid-term is a week away.

mid-terms...i feel really annoyed with myself for organometallics, which i took earlier today. there was one question where we had to complete a complicated reaction scheme, balancing the compounds throughout. for some weird reason, i forgot that since the the amount of magnesium doubled, there would be a corresponding increase in the amount of magnesium bromide produced, thus getting rid of my 2 excess bromine atoms, giving me dimethyl zinc. i know it doesn't make much sense writing it like this, but in layman terms, i mis-balanced a chemical equation. for shame! it's the kind of mistake i would barely tolerate from my sec 3 kid, so i think you can see how mad i am with myself. but to put it in perspective, i'll lose at most 3 marks from this mistake. 3 marks out of 50 total for a 20% test is...1.2 marks out of my overall grade. while i hate to lose marks like that, i have another test and the final to redeem myself.

one of my friends has a seriously low level of social awareness. it's like, he opens his mouth without thinking. consequently, he's said some retarded things (for lack of a more appropriate description) in front of the very people whom those things concern. it's not that i can't handle him being blunt. i have blunt friends with whom i get along pretty well. it's just that this guy's content/social filters are either totally absent, or are being severely underutilized. though i know he's actually a nice guy with good intentions, i still can't help but feel a stab of irritation after even short interactions.

postgrad matters are taking a backseat in my head, but i thought i should do some analysis now, since i'm having some rare free time.

pros:
familiar environment
(eventual) seniority in the lab, and NUS
high chance of acceptance
direct phd after 4 years
FINALLY getting a transponder (minor)

cons:
4 more years of study
possibly being overqualified after graduation
4 MORE YEARS!
research may not always go smoothly
having to study (though it's only 6 modules + maybe 2 japanese)
maybe somewhere better will accept me

admittedly, it's not very objective or well done (a sign that i'm tired), but i figure this is a good starting point for future reference. and here's something i discovered. graduate students can read elective modules on an S/U basis, subject to approval from the host faculty. that means that my argument for taking japanese is stronger, provided they allow me to S/U. the disadvantage is, S/U declaration must be done at the point of module registration, so if i decide to S/U and eventually get an A, that won't help my CAP at all. decisions decisions.

got a huge shock when i checked my email a couple of days ago. city of heroes is closing down. checking the website verified that. it's odd because the announcement was so abrupt. according to stuff posted on the forums, it seems that the staff were given only a day's notice to pack up and leave. many of us are still asking why, but i doubt we'll get an answer. sucks, because if there ever was an MMO i'd invest in, it was this one. still, it's had a great run of about 8 years, and i have many (mostly) good memories of the game. the servers will remain up until sometime in november, so i was thinking of logging in for a few last looks around. maybe on my freed-up sundays.

can't think of anything else that i haven't mentioned...except that i've been having weird dreams. but that's normal-ish for me. event forecast: i'll be pulling a lot of overtime in the lab, for reaction monitoring and that long column, among other things. if i can make it past next wednesday, things will turn out ok.

-random thought of the day: Why am I becoming more careless!??-

Looks can be deceiving. that's an important lesson for anyone/everyone to learn, and i seem to have forgotten that somewhat. though saying it is easy, it's sometimes hard to follow, especially when your instinct has prematurely made certain decisions or judgements based on previous interactions. but well, in the face of solid evidence, i have to accept that my instinct and logical deductions were wrong after all. it's still quite a mind-blowing revelation, and i'm sorry that i can't say anything more here. you see, it's sensitive information about someone i know in real life, and spreading such things is just not nice.

to celebrate the start of recess week, we had a chem kids drinking session at my friend's place at the bedok area, which was also the venue for our barbeque during summer. this time, however, we all got wasted pretty quickly, partially due to the lack of substantial food, and mostly because we were drinking too quickly. thankfully, there were a few friends who sobered up more quickly, and they took care of those who were drunk beyond belief (like me). good thing that i didn't vomit, because i look forward to vomiting about as much as spraining something. ended up reaching home at about 4:00am, which is later than i've ever reached home before, not counting the army clubbing experience. got in about 7 hours' sleep and woke up around 11:30am this morning, then decided not to go to school. figured a day off wouldn't hurt, especially since all i had to do was a column and decide what to NMR.

i saw a notice lying on the table at home. a couple of months ago, we received a similar notice about the government wanting to build a nursing/retirement home on the football field-sized piece of land right in front of my block. the residents protested, and the government said that it would do a study to better determine the feasibility of such a project. well, the study's done, and it seems that the plan is still going to go ahead. i briefly read through their study, and i have a few issues with their work. first, the need for such a home was never proven. all it said was that the home had to be built to better meet the needs of my district's ageing population, but there's no facts and figures to back that statement up. also, their proposal on alternate sites was pretty ridiculous. for instance, they considered the ITE, beside the ongoing condo development, and bishan park, amongst a few other sites. in my personal opinion, those choices were there just to fill up space. building on the ITE isn't going to work, since it's a school. similarly, building in bishan park could have effectively been left out, considering that the park has just been given a facelift. and building next to the condo would have invited a whole lot of other problems from the condo developers. so why even put them there? the other thing is that the plot of land is quite small...like 100 square metres at most. and the proposed height is 6 storeys. is it really going to be of any use?

a secondary concern is about traffic. even though the government says that additional entrances and exits to and from the main roads will be made. my prediction is that that's going to cause some traffic flow problems. all of a sudden, the prospect of moving doesn't seem as unattractive as before. if i decide to do further studies in NUS, maybe on-campus accommodation might work as well.

yesterday, i went to enquire about postgraduate studies in NUS. after getting the required information, i registered for an account in the application system, and had a massive wave of doubt. it's what i imagine pre-wedding nerves to feel like. so, i'm sitting on it a bit more. the deadline is in november, so there's still time. but i figure i'll apply by october. speaking to a few postgraduate friends has given me some useful information as well. from what they told me, postgrad studies are 4 years long as well, and i only have to clear 6 modules in those 4 years. that means that a lot of time will be spent on research. maybe if i negotiate with my professor, he'll let me take japanese 5 and 6 too, especially if they can pull my CAP up. that aside, i also have to consider funding. there are various schemes available, and i also have to consider which one to apply for.

before all that, though, i think i need more sleep. have to try and be productive tomorrow.

-random thought of the day: Must avoid heavy drinking for the next year or so.-