Every time i read my house description on pottermore, i get this really strong sense of belonging. to be honest, it describes me quite well, smart? i'd like to think so. weird/eccentric? most definitely...though i'd only crack eggs for cooking. accepting of others' eccentricities? sure, why not. makes me wish that hogwarts was real, and that the owl carrying my acceptance letter is still horribly lost somewhere out there. i'll bet flying from scotland to singapore isn't easy. well...one can hope, right?

though i tried to update a couple of days ago, i ended up not finishing the post. guess the mental gears went out if alignment as i was writing or something. anyway, it's been a while since then, and even longer since the events occurred, so here's the more condensed version.

had coaching last friday. it's probably my last session of the year, since future fridays will be taken up by lab and japanese. it was pretty ordinary...drills and games. i'm heartened to see that quite a few kids have the potential to bowl well...though it doesn't really affect me. like i mentioned a while back, i've been thinking of stopping the bowling coaching. i do feel that the kids deserve better than me, because my knowledge is amateur-ish at beat, effective up till primary school only. i should mention this to my boss soon.

then, there was dinner with the NUS chem kids after coaching. nothing really special, just ate at the korean barbeque place at novena. you know, the one i went to sometime this past summer? that one. chatting over dinner was nice, but failing to find a hang-out spot after dinner wasn't. seeing them was...not really special, considering i see all of them (except the working ones) in school. nevertheless, bonding time's usually good, no?

2 weekend days seem to have negated any rest that i got over recess week. and they weren't even that physically taxing, either! must be the mental stress from tuition. that's probably it. after all, i have 2 kids sitting for A-levels, and 1 kid sitting for promos. not an easy burden to bear, since their exam time is also about when i have to go into intensive revision mode. bleh.

as i was driving around after tuition, i noticed that the multi-storey car park beside J8 no longer offers free parking on sundays. my question is, why? it's been free parking on sundays for as long as i can remember, so the sudden change is kind of weird. it's not like there's a shortage of lots there, so there's no need to reduce the demand by implementing parking charges. lucky for me, i live near enough, so instead of parking the car there after sunday tuition sessions, i'll just park the car at home and walk over. a bit more inconvenient, but it saves on costs.

so far this week, i've had 2 days of classes, did some cooking, and fallen sick. sicker than before, at any rate. classes are still manageable. slowly shaking off the recess week inertia, and getting back into the rhythm. of course, the facts that i'm sick, and that it's e-learning next week, makes me wonder if i should be bothering to work hard this week or not. and as luck would have it, i've got 2 small japanese quizzes on thursday and friday, and an econs mid-term after friday's japanese quiz. oh joy.

falling sick is what annoys me. my cough has evolved into a blocked/running nose, and the beginnings of a fever. the timing is both good and bad, actually. falling sick during the week before or the week after would have been ideal, since they would be recess week and e-learning week respectively. but having it happen this week has its benefits, too. for one, there are no lab reports due, so i can take things easier than usual. of course, the best scenario would be not falling sick, but since it happened already, i've got to make the best of it. on a slightly brighter note, the symptoms are somewhat subsiding after i took a couple of panadol. hopefully i'm even better tomorrow!

sickness is limiting my thought processes. i know there are a couple of important things that i want to talk about, but for now, i can only remember this one. sometime earlier this week, i received a very official letter. you know, those "on government service" ones? well, the traffic police sent me a letter, saying that after their investigation into the accident earlier this year, they decided to let me off with a warning. i think that they phrased it nicer than what i wrote, but that's the gist of it. thank goodness. at least there won't be anything troublesome, like court appearances and whatnot. really takes a load off my mind.

well, i suppose that does it for this post. if things work out, i'll blog about the stuff i've forgotten in the next post. for now, i'll call it an earlier-than-usual night and hope that at the rate which i'm radiating heat, all the bacteria/viruses will be exterminated by the time school starts tomorrow.

-random thought of the day: Squid ink is messy.-

Yes! super windy and rainy now...perfect for sleeping. it's been quite a while since i've heard the windows rattle like that...maybe 1 to 2 years ago? whatever the case, i know i'll sleep well tonight; which is also why i'm not blogging that much right now. look out for a long(er) update tomorrow!

-random thought of the day: Mid-terms approaching.-

My heart hurts.

metaphorically speaking, that is. trust me, i wouldn't be this calm if i felt physical discomfort in my heart. one thing that does physically hurt, though, is my throat...but we'll get to that later.

so, why does my heart hurt? well, i can't be entirely sure, but i'm more than willing to bet that it's because i've been thinking too much this recess week. the "could be"s, "what if"s, "if only"s...all of them are coming back to haunt me. as if that wasn't enough, my brain has conjured up a few new impossible scenarios as well. it kind of sucks. i suppose i'll be all right, as long as i don't get too emo while convincing myself that those situations are practically impossible.

as for my throat, my cough has slightly worsened over the past 3 days. even my usual remedy of drinking twice my normal daily water intake isn't working. it's slightly annoying, but this level of sickness is nothing i can't work through. i just hope it doesn't get any worse when school starts again.

the last 3 days were mostly spent slacking, with occasional bouts of work thrown in. my lab report is almost done, and i've got bits and pieces of japanese reading in here and there. not much progress on econs and instrumental analysis, but i figure i can make that up. did a little bit of organic synthesis, which was helped by a lecture on monday. all in all, i could have studied a little bit more, but i'm kind of satisfied with the amount of work done.

one event of note was the NUS judo function this past tuesday. university-level barbeques are on a different level...or maybe it's just us. well, having a vice-captain who knows his food (and who has friends that know their food as well) does have benefits. i must say, we ate ridiculously well, both in quantity and quality. going for the function has also given me even more crazy cooking ideas. quick sidetrack: buying a whole salmon didn't happen in the end for a couple of reasons. (1)the fish weighs about 4kg, which is too much for me to get through in the remaining time before school resumes. (2)the weight of the fish means that they cost about $70 each, which is kind of over budget. oh well. maybe in december. anyway, i got the inspiration to try to make this potato salad which they did...only that mine turned out more like mashed potato. either way, i'm not complaining, since my stuff tastes good. i'm almost tempted to make a large batch every sunday, then let it last me throughout the week. only thing is, i don't know how long it'll last before it goes bad. well, guess i can try it out...

looking at the next couple of days, i think i'll still be reasonably free. have to finish up my japanese homework, as well as sort out the references for my lab report. not forgetting i've got dinner with some chem kids tomorrow. right now, i think i need sleep...or at least a break. staring at the computer for about 11 hours can't be good for health.

-random thought of the day: My head's starting to (physically) hurt.-

Green is a colour that's not normally associated with good health. since i've been coughing up green stuff recently, that's an indication that i'm falling sick, or sick already. more like falling sick, actually...my symptoms aren't that bad so far. just a slightly sore throat and a cough that's more persistent than usual. if it did have to happen eventually, i suppose recess week is the best time to fall sick...provided i get better before school starts, that is.

my weekend was spent slacking, which kind of helps to reduce my fatigue levels. not eliminate yet, mind you, but it should be better by wednesday. anyway, i gave more tuition over the weekend. CJC boy is coping well, though i really have to find new ways to hold his attention. his promos are in about 2 weeks, so i still have enough time to ensure that he passes, if not better. shouldn't be too hard. as for RJC girl, she just had her prelim today. i'm just hoping that she scores a C or higher. that sounds reasonable enough, doesn't it?

back in my own life, things have kind of taken a turn for the worse. well...maybe saying it like that is over-dramatic. the real issue is that i'm feeling demotivated. based on my performance so far this semester, i'd say that an A- average is still within reach, but only barely. it's got me thinking...is honours really that important? no matter how i look at it, the answer's yes. so graduating after this year is not an option. but here's the other side of that dilemma — if i get second-upper honours, it's ok. if i end up with second-lower honours, would spending that extra year have been worth it? i honestly don't know. what i do know is that second-lower honours will add a few more years to "plan phd", as compared to second-upper.

i suppose i could ask whether a phd is really necessary in the first place. while the answer is "no", i would really like one. i guess it's the academic equivalent of a black belt. come to think of it, i suppose it's more of a pride thing.

on the way home, i started thinking about what i would do if i couldn't go for direct phd in nus. well, i'd probably got for the JET programme, or find work, and do it somewhere overseas. though i may not look it, i actually do bear grudges for quite a while. of course, the other party would have to do something that leaves a deep impression on me. like even today, i feel somewhat negative towards VJC. but that's digressing. i don't know what i'll think of NUS if plans don't work out, especially if i end up making significant discoveries in future.

but anyway, pessimism is unbecoming of me. while i don't think it's a good idea to dwell on negative things, i also have to admit that nobody can remain happy/optimistic 100% of the time. remembering the negatives helps to keep things real, i think. now that my emo fit is more or less over, i should focus on getting a firmer grasp on that second-upper.

-random thought of the day: How's my mental health?-

Procrastination is the thief of time. even though i know that, i still put most things (lab reports, sleeping, waking up, to name a few) off until the last minute. while my last-minute skills help me get the job done, they also leave me very little time to study additional stuff, which is causing me some suffering right now.

over the past few days, school has caused me to feel pretty disheartened. for starters, i got 28/40 for my organic test. while it's a decent grade (70%), i'm still kind of bummed. if you remember posts from about 2 weeks ago, i was hoping for a high 30s score. who knew there were so many problems with my forward syntheses? at least 3 out of my 4 retrosyntheses were perfect, so that's something to feel somewhat happy about. looks like i'm learning stuff, after all.

while still on test-related things, i made another idiotic error during my instrumental analysis test, as i misinterpreted a set of peaks in a mass spectrum. while it'll cost me only 2.5 marks (or 1 to 2 marks in the grand scheme), i'm unhappy because i need every mark i can get from that module. worse is that the final is closed-book, so it's not going to get easier.

i'd thought that oral exams were a secondary school (or in the case of chinese, a JC) thing. apparently, that's not true. i just had viva (say "vie-vah") for my chem lab module. rewind about 13 years ago, and viva (i said it "vee-vah back then, though i'm not sure that it's correct now) was a yoghurt drink which came in peach, strawberry and mixed fruit flavours. i remember liking it back in primary school. now, viva's a term which means "short oral quiz with the lecturer". to be honest, the analytical lab lecturer asked fairly easy questions, to which i would have known the answer under normal circumstances. but somehow, panic set in when i was one-on-one with her. while i'm mostly happy with my performance, i feel extremely annoyed for misinterpreting one of her questions about electrophoresis. i honestly think she was asking easy questions to give us a chance, and yet, i had to mess up. so, so annoying!

japanese is slowly becoming a source of stress. it's not that i don't like it, but the language patterns are becoming increasingly confusing. based on this week's not-good experiences in tutorial classes, i guess i should stop trying to correlate japanese to english. the thing that bugs me now are all the particles. a quick wiki search reveals that there are about 20 commonly used particles in english. but having used them all my life, i don't even think of them as particles! so far in japanese, we've seen は, の, か, に, と, で, へ, and を in class, and i hear that even more are on the way. definitely have to brush up over recess week.

which brings me to a major plus point...recess week is here! goodness knows i need the time to recharge. this week has left me feeling drained. i think NUS should give us a recess fortnight and a reading month. that would probably ease the tension significantly. on the bright side, i'm (surprisingly) not really that behind for most of my modules this semester. probably have to spend more time reading up on econs and instrumental analysis, as well as practising the japanese sentence forms. not to mention that i'm thinking of buying a whole salmon for cooking over the week. last time i did my calculations, it's actually more economical than buying individual portions whenever you need them. of course, the drawback in buying an entire fish is that you have to use it all up quickly, which is good when you're feeding many people...not so much when you're cooking for one. but i'll worry about that in the near future.

a more immediate worry is my phone. since the last post, more buttons have decided to die, to the extent that only the power button and the touchscreen are working now. it's still possible to work around the current hardware failures, though i can't hang up a call, take pictures, or handle interactive calls...you know, those calls where you listen to a machine that goes, "for english, press 1". maybe i should go phone-shopping during recess week, too.

catching (relatively for me) very little sleep over the past 2 days will probably cause me to sleep pretty early tonight. the fact that i'm drinking half a mug of red wine (for lack of a decent wineglass around the house) isn't helping to prolong my wakefulness either. guess i'll call it a night, then!

-random thought of the day: Pottermore went down while my potion was brewing.-

A couple of events which happened today have made me try to redefine my philosophy in life. like i learnt before in my philosophy GEM, the way something is defined makes a world of difference in an argument. and more often than not, it's not easy to define something properly.

previously, i'd thought that my life's philosophy was social responsibility...like not doing things which would cause negative impacts on other people. but "responsibility" sounds a bit harsh, like i'm obligated to behave like a model singaporean all the time. that's why, during the walk to PGP (i'll talk about that later), i thought about it, and revised it to "social consideration". while you may not see the difference immediately, it *is* there. by using the word "consideration" my idea is that i'm not obligated to behave well, but i do so because i want to not inconvenience others. and even if my "misbehaviour" causes inconvenience(s), i can fix any issues myself.

so...about that walk. i didn't HAVE to do it, but i did because i was so annoyed. here's the story: it's close to 8:00pm, after japanese lecture, and i'm headed home. as i wait at the bus stop, i see by BTC1 bus speed by, filled to the brim. this annoys me greatly, because i know that about 85% of the people in there will get off at PGP (a student residence), and not go on to bukit timah, like i would. i'm made even angrier by the fact that another shuttle bus (A1) goes along the same route, and terminates at PGP. of course, the key problem here is the buses' frequency. A1 comes once every 5 to 10 minutes, 15 at most. in fact, in the slightly-more-than 15 minutes it took me to walk from the bus stop to PGP, 3 A1 buses went past me! the time between BTC1 buses is at LEAST 15 minutes, and that's during peak period. almost makes me wish that BTC didn't stop at PGP, or at least that there was a super-express BTC service which didn't.

what i'm trying to say is that the people who were going to get off at PGP could have waited for A1, instead of cramming on BTC1, and making me (as well as other bukit timah-going people) even later. by waiting for an A1, they lose about 5 to 10 minutes, 15 at most. after that, their residence is a 5-minute crawl (or 1-minute walk) away from the bus stop. whereas by making me miss a BTC bus and wait for the next one, not only do they set me back 15 minutes at the minimum, but they also increase the odds of me missing my 156, whose arrival times average out to about 20 minutes. now do you see the problem? i do not quite fancy missing a 156.

and yet, i do see why they do that. it may have been a long day, and they may want to just get back and sleep/do work/whatever. who would care about that guy by the side of the road who wants to get on the bus? if he's going to PGP, he can wait for A1. if he's going to BTC, too bad. what do i care? this is where social consideration comes in. personally, if i was staying in PGP, i would wait for an A1, knowing that people may want to go to bukit timah. or i might get on a BTC, but get off it becomes too crowded. and that's what i mean by social consideration; not going excessively out of your way to be nice, but making decisions which cause as little inconvenience to others as possible. for instance, if my dad needed the car for work on weekends, i'd let him have it, even though i may have had tuition planned. i'd just appreciate advance warning, which is not too hard.

based on my outlook, i seriously wonder if i have any japanese blood. in fact, i've been asked that by 2 people in my various japanese tutorials. something about the way i pronounce the words. the japanese are big on this type of thing (social consideration) too, so i think i'll fit in better than most foreigners when i move there. or maybe it's a kind of genetic mutation, that an average singaporean kid exhibits japanese behavioural tendencies. who knows?

love is the next issue i want to bring up. "you can't stop loving someone. either you never did, or you always will", or so a quote says. i'm finding that to be true. after so long, i'm already sort of resigned to the fact that thoughts about that person will still pop into my head every so often. that's ok, since i'm more or less prepared for the eventuality, and am able to accept it. then, once in a while, that person will write something so incredibly sensitive, that it usually completely floors me after i read it, because it makes me remember that above all things, they're a good person at heart. yes, i know that that person has a blog (though it's infrequently updated), and i also know that i'm pretty stalker-ish to know of the blog. i also know that it's silly of me to be affected, but i can't help myself. must be the hormones again. i just wish that i could be there for them...despite the fact that they won't appreciate it. since i've promised not to initiate contact, all i can do now is watch from afar, get updates from our mutual friends, and hope that everything works out in the end. i guess all i can say now is "ジェさん、すきですよ...がんばってね!".

enough about that for now. how about something more light-hearted instead? something like what a jinx i can be. remember that i blogged about how my slippers may be giving way last time? well, they nearly did yesterday. as i was walking home yesterday, i felt the sole kind of split. closer examination revealed that there was a crack in the sole, near the bit of rubber that goes between the toes. anyway, i detoured to world of sports (or was it royal sporting house? i can never remember) in J8 to get a replacement pair. nothing caught my eye, even after 20-odd minutes. the slippers i had my eye on didn't come in the right size, and those that came in the right size didn't look pleasing. in the end, i settled for a compromise and bought a pair which has a lion design. i think it's some soccer team's logo, but i don't know for sure. the straps are a little thinner than the previous pair, so i'm mildly concerned. nevertheless, they're comfortable (based on walking around today), so i suppose that's good enough. incidentally, i got them in size 13. or was it 12? either way, that's kind of odd, seeing as my normal shoe size is between 10.5 to 11. the reason i got such huge slippers is because i need the space. my feet are kind of thick, which makes shopping for shoes an inconvenience at best. at least i managed to find something which worked. my previous grey slippers would probably have given way after today.

Over the next few days, my stress levels are forecasted to escalate, and remain high. that's due to doing a lab report tomorrow, and 2 quizzes each for thursday (japanese vocabulary and instrumental analysis) and friday (katakana and a verbal quiz on lab). thursday's the more stressing one, since i haven't even looked at the vocabulary, and have no idea what the instrumental analysis test will be like. for friday, i at least know my katakana well, so that's reassuring. must get it together for these few days, then i'll have a week off of school. that's something to look forward to!

-random thought of the day: The onion in my fridge smells nice.-

Remember the line "you can lead a horse to water, but you can't force it to drink"? well, someone's actions are forcing my head into the metaphorical lake, and it's pissing me off quite badly. but before i dampen the mood, let's talk about happy stuff.

last week, i met up with a couple of my NUS friends who are on work attachment. they're still pretty much the same, and it was nice to catch up with them while they had dinner before their forensic science module. after hearing about some of their experiences with office politics, i'm not quite sure that i'm looking forward to starting work after graduation. one of my friends says that i should be able to survive in an office environment, and i'm just hoping he's right. anyway, there's still a few more years between now and then, so we'll see how things turn out.

i believe i've mentioned that i require pretty good japanese language proficiency to execute operation "live in japan". in addition to NUS japanese modules, i've recently begun considering taking external japanese lessons as well. so far, i've been recommended 2 language schools, both in the orchard area, and within walking distance from each other. based on my impression of their websites, i do favour one over the other right now. but i figure that i'll hold on until semester break in november before checking them both out.

tuition is seriously stressing me out. not because the kids are stupid or anything like that, but because they can get so careless! the J2 CJC boy especially, is getting on my nerves. he's a nice person, which is why i sometimes feel bad for getting annoyed with him. i seriously don't know if he's not bothered, or just extremely dense...because there's no way a regular person would not remember something that's been gone through on at least 3 separate occasions. worst thing is, i've never encountered this problem in my own career as a student, so i really don't know what's the cause. i mean, how hard is it to remember the difference between nucleophilic and electrophilic, addition and substitution!!??

thank goodness for dinner yesterday, where i met up with my kata partner and our senior. on a previous trip to balestier, one of my friends pointed out founder's bak kut teh to me, and i finally got a chance to try it out. personally, i was extremely happy with the food. 2 bowls of standard meat/bone soup, 2 bowls of pig's stomach soup, 1 bowl of pig's intestine soup, 3 bowls of rice, 1 plate of preserved vegetables, and 2 drinks, the price of which came up to slightly less than $45...or about $15 per person. as a bonus, the soup was free-flow. when i eat at other bak kut teh places, the soup tends to be under-peppered to me. not this place, though. the soup was shiok! we went for a couple of refills, actually, with each subsequent serving being spicier than the last. i guess that's how they discourage customers from refilling too much. anyway...with the weather last night, something hot and peppery was just right. first time i tried pig's intestine, too. while i prefer the stomach (it's one of my childhood classics), i don't dislike the intestines. definitely was a good experience.

following dinner, we went to the nearby rochor tau huay stall for dessert. our senior was working on his club's grading syllabus, and we offered our input on the order in which the techniques should be taught. i'm actually kind of honoured that he asked us what we thought, because the way i interpret that is that he considers us to not be complete idiots. coming from someone of his calibre, that's plenty of praise already. incidentally, he mentioned that he would like my partner and i to take part in an upcoming kata competition. problem is, we're talking about "2 months away" kind of upcoming. with our schedules, and the fact that the competition takes place dangerously close to exam period, we've decided to give this year's competition a miss. besides, we haven't even done kata together since passing the grading in march, so...not going to happen.

now, for the horse water thing. it's on old problem, which actually makes it worse. today, while depositing my tuition earnings into my account, i noticed that my balance was off by +$1200, which got me quite annoyed. after reading that, i bet 99% of you are wondering about my sanity. i mean, who'd be upset to find an addition to his/her bank account? the answer is, of course, me. and the reason for it is because i am almost certain that the money came from my parents, even after i told them that i didn't need extra spending money. after all, none of my friends owe me money, and i'm quite sure my relatives would call or SMS me if they made such a large deposit. i don't know why they just put it in, either. though i may not be the sharpest sword in the armoury, i do keep my eyes open where it matters.

it's kind of annoying, you know? even though i can't be fully financially independent, i can at least contribute as little as possible to the monthly expenditure. admittedly, my earnings from tuition alone can't clear the electricity, water, gas, and internet bills, but i can at least settle my own food, travel and phone expenses. which reminds me...i wonder if starhub transferred my phone line to me yet. but back to the topic of unwanted additions, i absolutely refuse to accept money from my parents for no good reason. ironic, isn't it? i bet some parents wished their kids thought more like me. anyway, there are 3 possible methods of resolution which i've thought over. (1) return the money each month. the extra trips to the ATM will be annoying, and all that depositing and withdrawing may look like i'm doing something not-quite legal. (2) change my bank account. while this guarantees that the deposits will stop coming in, updating my debit card, ATM card, and goodness knows what else that's linked to my current bank account will be extremely inconvenient. worse still, my next bank account number may not be as easy to remember as my current one. (3) literally burn the money, or donate it to charity. the former option is a bit more drastic, but i believe that it will get the message across most effectively. the latter is kind of a way to increase my good karma, i guess. both things achieve the same purpose, and that is getting the money off my hands. still, burning is an absolute last resort, saved for if/when i get too annoyed.

hmm...thank goodness this coming week is week 6, and recess week is after that. i definitely need a break from these early days. somehow, i've begun skipping more early classes, which is not a good sign. hopefully, the anticipation of recess week will motivate me to attend all classes this week. for now, i've to make a library run to get new stuff for the trips to and from school.

-random thought of the day: I have to find storage solutions.-

minor update: i just came back from an extremely unfruitful shopping trip, and a very successful library trip. on the way to the library to return my books, i decided to detour to J8 with the intention of getting some stuff which i've been meaning to get for a while, such as new slippers, new files, and a filing drawer-type thing. didn't get anything in the end, since the slippers i saw were kind of overly bright, the files were out of stock, and the filing drawer-type thing didn't have removable stationery compartments. well...while i would like to get the stuff as soon as possible, it's not life-threateningly urgent. so, i figure i can drag it a bit more...unless my current pair of slippers fails tomorrow...but let's not go there.

luckily, i had a bit more luck in the library. i saw 3 green lantern comics (darkest night!) which i wanted to borrow. i also saw 3 other interesting books and an interesting DVD. my normal membership allows me to borrow 6 items total, 2 of which may be audio-visual materials (CDs, DVDs, you get the idea). so, i already have 7 items which i want to check out. not to mention i have 2 more items at home which are not due yet. so, i was getting ready to pick and choose, when a sign caught my attention. every school holiday, the library doubles its members' borrowing quota. my suspicion is that it's to encourage kids to read more and stay out of trouble. anyway, guess who caught the last day of the borrowing extension? in the end, i borrowed everything, and could still afford to get 3 more things. not that i did, though, since i didn't want to go all the way up the 4 floors to find 3 more things to borrow.

oh. my phone's main buttons (answer call, reject call/cancel, and confirm) decided to die on me. i am very very unhappy about it. while it's not completely useless, it's slowly but surely getting there. makes me want to change phone NOW, but i'm still doing my best to hold out in hopes that the iphone 5 will go on sale soon. i figure that in the worst case, i'll just get a cheap transition phone while waiting. whatever happens, i'm more or less set on smashing my current phone with a hammer after transferring all important data out of it.

ok. that concludes this little update. i'm going to be my best to be in bed by 11:00pm, and hopefully i'll be asleep by 11:45pm. i can't miss any early classes this coming week, because tomorrow's new content and thursday's a test based partly on the new content. bugger instrumental analysis.

Hogwarts just sent me an owl Pottermore just sent me an email for early access! i'm insanely happy about it. so far, only book 1's up, which is kind of anticlimactic. nevertheless, it's been great so far. i've been sorted into ravenclaw (see? i KNEW i was smart), and my wand's 12.5 inches, ash, hard, with a phoenix feather core. all the artwork's lovely, and for a beta-stage site, there are enough things to keep me satisfied...though i wish that i could do more stuff with my wand. you know, i think my pottermore access is possibly the beginning of the end of my studying. right now, i've explored everything it has to offer. when the full site launches in october, i foresee that significant time will be spent going through the other 6 books.

quick extra trivia bit: wand and house assignments are done by answering questions, something like personality tests. only thing is, some of the questions are abstract enough that i can't tell what they're testing for. to my surprise, the tests are actually pretty accurate! their results reflect my personality quite well...ravenclaw's a good house to be in, since i do think i'm smart (though my grades don't show it). gryffindor might have been nice also, but what's done is done.

incidentally, i think the book has oversold gryffindor. it's the main character's house, and so, throughout the books, readers see and know more about it and its people than any other house. i think that's also why everyone wants to be sorted into it. similar story about wands. everybody wants a springy holly wand with a phoenix feather core. did you know that the hardness of a wand is related to how easily the user adapts to change? mine's hard, which means i don't adapt easily...another accurate result.

contrary to what i thought during summer, i still can't seem to give up my cooking habit. so, wednesdays are kind of like my designated cooking days. don't know why, but i really enjoy cooking. especially i've since started to do some more adventurous stuff, like making pasta from scratch. have to thank jamie oliver for that one. the only annoying bit is actually rolling the pasta out to the required thickness/thin-ness. makes me wish i had one of those crank-operated pasta machines. they seem to simplify the process a lot. only problems are i don't know where in singapore they're available, and i think they're pretty expensive. oh well. rolling out the pasta is actually a pretty good workout, since the dough is very resistant to stretching.

i have to admit, though, i'm a pretty intuitive cook. as in, i season by feel, and don't plan my recipes out beforehand. instead of planning, i mostly raid the fridge and see what i can throw in. sometimes, (well, often), i forget things, and have to rush to get them into the pan, or the other stuff already in there would burn. then, when i rush, i forget things like seasoning, or to add in an ingredient which i had originally wanted to add. seems like i'll never make it in the restaurant business...but that's ok. after all, my cooking is more of a hobby/survival skill than it is a money-making thing.

and speaking of money-making, my adsense (re-)application has been approved! so exciting. now, all i have to do is add the advertisement code to the template, and see who clicks. oh. about the template issue. turns out that i can (and did) revert to the old template. i must admit, though, that switching to the new editor is becoming increasingly tempting. guess i'll switch when blogger makes it compulsory. meanwhile, i can keep practising my HTML skills.

since the last post, the main events that have transpired are a couple of tuition sessions, and a test. for tuition, i've seen 2 CJC kids. SJI-CJC boy (whom i've been teaching since he was in secondary school. for convenience, he shall be CJC boy 1 in this post) and another SJI-CJC boy (with whom i've just started this year...you guessed it, CJC boy 2). CJC boy 1 is maturing...as in, he's putting more effort into paying attention during class. at least that's the impression i get. i seriously cannot understand why he's been slacking so much, especially since he's smart. or maybe it's because he's smart. if i can guess his thought process, he probably thinks that he can put things off until the last minute and still learn everything in time. while that is possible, there is a limit. one year's worth of content for 4 subjects is definitely over that limit. whatever the case, i'm happy that he's bothered to find out about stuff which he didn't catch in school.

CJC boy 2's case is a bit more worrying. he's in J2 this year, so there's really not much time left. while he knows his content somewhat, he's just SO BLUR!! i seriously do not expect a J2 kid to misread "methane" as "ethane", or to mix up the conditions for addition and substitution, or the terms "electrophilic" and "nucleophilic". no matter how i teach, i can't correct blurness. it's worrying, you know...an 18-year-old making secondary school mistakes. i just hope he wakes up during the paper, and reads every single word carefully.

the test which i had was organic synthesis, on monday. in my opinion, it was the easiest core module test i've taken in a while...perhaps ever. the 4 questions were do-able, and i got both retro and forward syntheses down. optimistically, i'm looking at a 35+/40. i'm almost scared to think that way for a core module, since i've never scored that well on a heavily-weighted test before. best thing to do right now is to keep my fingers crossed, and hope for the best.

the plan for the next couple of days is pretty normal. school, and more school. thank goodness my group finished our experiments early, which means i don't have lab this coming friday. on the flipside, that also means that i only have a one-hour japanese tutorial. kind of nice to be given an almost-day-off, though i do feel kind of sian that i still have to go to school. but i suppose it'll be a good opportunity for me to have a study day. goodness knows i need the opportunity to brush up on my instrumental analysis. meanwhile, back to my lab reports.

-random thought of the day: Must remember extended vowels in Japanese!-

Spending longer hours in school is seriously draining. that's manifested in me feeling perpetually tired, and practically wasting the weekends away. even then, i think there's a net increase in the things i've managed to do and learn as compared to this time in previous semesters. then again, it may be because i'm kind of neglecting a couple of modules.

i've noticed a pattern emerging as the semesters progress. for the first 6 weeks or so (up to recess week), everything seems easy and very digestible. going along with that thought, i take recess week easy too. then, it's suddenly week 7, and the pace picks up. by week 12 or 13, i'm varying degrees of lost for my modules, and by sheer force of will, i somehow cram enough stuff into my head to get through the finals. as soon as the holidays start, almost all the knowledge is sealed away together with my notes, lab reports and assorted course materials. and, you guessed it, the entire process repeats when the next semester begins.

so far, my modules are reasonably ok. organic synthesis is tolerable, with the reagents and compounds looking more or less familiar. japanese is fun. i'm really enjoying myself, despite the heavy workload and copious amounts of preparation needed. guess it's easier to work at something when it's part of a bigger plan. not much to say about the lab module. one report a week, which is quite normal. the viva, or oral exam, is kind of intimidating, though. the instructor in charge is a nice lady, but based on some conversations we've had, i'm not anticipating an easy time. econs is...normal, i guess. we've covered up to perfect competition, which is about 7 months of JC econs in 5 weeks. how's that for compression? lastly, instrumental analysis. i'll be honest here. i am so lost, those people whose plane crashed on an island with a mysterious creature have nothing on me. on one hand, the tutorial questions have maths-heavy things, like statistical calculations. and yet, the lectures are purely qualitative! i seriously do not know what to expect for tests and exams. it's unnerving, but i figure that my friends and i will work something out.

umm...let's see...i want to talk about some other random things. like reading. recently, i've taken to carrying a book with me to pass the time on the journeys to and from school. for the past few weeks, neil gaiman's been my travelling companion. so far, i've finished stardust, neverwhere, smoke and mirrors, anansi boys, and american gods. getting my hands on sandman is proving to be difficult. as far as i know, that's the one that made him famous, so i'm quite eager to read it.

in the back of the books i've read, there's a page or two of "reading group questions". those questions ask stuff about the books' themes, and how certain feelings/moods are evoked through use of words. quite frankly, i don't really care for analyzing how books are written. as long as the plot is pretty easy to follow, the characters are interesting and there is some development/evolution, i'm generally satisfied. of course, humour and nice sneaky plot twists are a very big bonus. so, i guess that kind of explains how i can be decent/above average at english, but absolutely suck at literature. weird, i know.

since we're on languages, i want to say something about my linguistic ability. it's kind of weird as well, but i try to understand languages by looking at roots, patterns, and common features. somehow, that seems to work. guess it's partially due to trying to understand the language, instead of just learning it by memorization. while i'm no linguistic genius, i can fend for myself pretty well.

languages then links to japanese. after a meeting with my japanese 1 lecturer this past monday, i found out that based on NUS curriculum, the recommended language standard for me to work/live in japan for an extended period of time is japanese 4. assuming i take 1 japanese module every semester until honours year is over, that's (coincidentally) as high as i can go. now, i find it a good thing that i've kept all 3 S/Us unused, because i think japanese 2, 3 and 4 will use them all up. but we'll see how it goes, and if japanese 1 doesn't traumatize me enough.

that, of course, assumes i do do honours year. while i do qualify for honours, it's a second-lower at the moment. sounds like one of those good news/bad news things. kind of like scoring 11 or 12 points for o-levels. good enough to get into a decent JC, bad enough to be excluded from the high-end JCs. but anyway, there's presently an 85% chance i'll do honours. after that, i don't know. there are a few options: (1) direct phd. (2) masters, then phd. (3) JET programme, then option (2) after that. (4) if i get second-lower, take this funny graduate test to qualify for direct phd. #4 is the one option which i really want to avoid. the test consists of 130 questions in 175 minutes (i think), covering all aspects of chemistry. taking the test thus means that i'll have to go back and read up on physical, where i will die horribly. #1 is optimal, while #2 wastes time and money. #3 is slightly better than #2, since the year(s) in japan will provide me with money to burn on education. but i'm thinking kind of far ahead. let's see how my CAP changes after this semester first.

ok...last thing about decision-making and a little theory i've been thinking of. don't worry, there's nothing heavy here. making decisions isn't really my strong suit(e?), especially when i'm 75% asleep at 6:15am. that's kind of a limbo-time...i'm behind schedule, but i can still make it to school on time (or at most a little late) for my 8:00am lecture if i rush. but then, i remember that it's the instrumental analysis lecturer, and my motivation to get out of bed drops. then, like yesterday, i figured that since i didn't like rushing to begin with, i wasn't going to rush for a lecture i didn't really like. so, long story short, i skipped lecture, and missed out on a quiz. go uncle murphy. as consolation, the quiz (probably) isn't graded, and my friends tell me that i didn't miss anything much anyway. bleh. now do you see why i say i'm lost?

as for the theory, it sounds quite obvious at first, but there's actually kind of a subtle alternate meaning underneath. one way i've thought about phrasing it is, "the later you are, the later you will be". sounds duh, but think about it for a second. from my personal experience, if i leave home 5 minutes behind time, i somehow end up being around 20 minutes late for whatever class i'm going for. and if i leave early, i somehow end up being earlier than intended. could be a manifestation of murphy's law or something. anyway, just something i've been meaning to share, but can never remember if i've shared it or not. it's been on my mind since year 2 or so, so i'm sorry if you've read it before here.

urgent addition: WHAT THE HELL. why has my template become a blogger generic!!?? maybe it was caused by my itchy fingers clicking the "try the updated blogger interface" link. whatever the case, i guess this is a sign for a template change. only thing is, i'll do it tomorrow, because i'm really too tired now.

-random thought of the day: My mechanical pencil broke. Sad.-