I will do the usual update about daily life and stuff either later in this post, or in another separate post (depending on how long this one gets by the time i'm done), but first i want to talk about time - in both a micro and macro sense. micro first. over the past week, i've bumped into old students of different levels. some graduated from secondary school, and are now in high school. there was also one who graduated from primary school and is now going to secondary school in another town. in the course of the catching up small talk, i asked them what CCAs they were in. all of them said that they didn't join any CCA. i don't know the reason for the high school students, but for the secondary school kid, he told me that he didn't have time. not because he was super busy, but because it was a 90-minute train ride (one-way) between home and school. so assuming school starts at 8:30am, he'd have to be at the town's station before 7:00am. and if school ended at 4:00pm, he'd reach home at 5:30pm earliest. these projections don't account for the distance from home to train station, or station to school, which means that the actual commute is probably even longer. rounding off to 2 hours one-way, that means 4 hours, or a sixth of his day, is spent travelling. that's such a colossal waste of time! of course, he could be doing something productive on the train ride like studying or sleeping, but still.

during the culture festival this past saturday, the current sec 3 students gave presentations on their vision of the town in 2050. they too, identified its remoteness as an issue. other issues include the aging and diminishing population. is there a good fix? short of moving the town's location or setting up something that will draw people here to live, no. personally, i like one group's idea of setting up a high school here in this town. that way, the kids from the other district won't have to live away from home to go to high school. and as a bonus, maybe future JETs won't have to teach in the primary school. but according to people in the town hall, there was a high school here once, a long time ago. and it closed down due to lack of enrollment, just like one of the secondary schools last year.

after talking to that kid, it got me thinking. are kids born in this town being robbed of a typical childhood/growing up experience? granted, "typical" is very subjective, given how things vary by location in japan. but based on the stereotype, a japanese kid's "typical" school life includes school lunch, CCAs, a ton of homework, all the school events, maybe the odd school romance. to be fair, the schools deliver on most of these things (albeit in a limited capacity as far as CCAs go), but the kids' circumstances mean that they may not get to experience everything fully. interestingly, there has been close to zero talk of romance in all my schools. i mean, i'll occasionally catch whispers of "so-and-so likes whoever", but as far as seeing actual couples together, nope.

next point on micro-scale time, my own time allocation. because of the nature of teaching, i'm on my feet for most of the day. clocking 5000 steps on any school day is a given, and my typical daily count averages around 7000. so, when i leave JET in the future for what will most probably be a deskbound job, i'll have to spend extra time just to get that same amount of physical activity in. that will, in turn, eat into my free time. i suppose i can mitigate it by doing a cycle commute, but again, it would take longer than just driving or public transport. maybe i should just...i don't know, be an OBS instructor or something. no, i kid. i'm not a huge fan of roughing it in the wild. but yes, given that the 86400 seconds per day we get is a fixed number, something will have to change in my routine. i figure that i'll adjust by sleeping earlier, getting up earlier, and maybe gaming less. that's for future me to worry about, though.

transitioning from micro time to macro time, i've started doing some simple static exercises. hopefully that will help with weight loss and muscle gain. our bodies are both wonderful and annoying in the way they can adapt to new conditions. the exercises are push-ups, leg raises, pull-ups, squats, bridges, and twists, all with different levels of difficulty/progression, and not all at once. i'd die! there's a mix of difficulties; easy for some (most), a little advanced for others. unfortunately, there's a difference between the effort requirements from muscles for daily life, and for deliberate exercise. i remembered that the hard way when i couldn't do a set of proper push-ups. right now, the amount of exercise i'm doing is not much, but i hope that the results will accumulate over time. i've got another 510-ish days to improve.

-random thought of the day: Time to break out the fleece!-

Given that it's my birthday, i guess the expectation is that i should be feeling happy, thankful, and/or some other positive emotion(s). to a certain extent, i am. but that's tempered with some other less-good feelings too. might be due to the fatigue from attending sports day yesterday, or just some things that happened in school today.

let's talk about sports day first. compared to last year, i felt more disconnected. or perhaps i should say less involved/invested. guess that's what happens when you lose the emotional connection. i've been trying to identify why i like my secondary school kids more, and i've identified that it's mainly attitude. like, the kids in the secondary school are more willing to interact with me. the main issue isn't even the language barrier in this case. it's that the kids are generally in their own worlds. like, i can ask them something (official stuff about class, not personal questions) in japanese and only get a reply sometimes. well...it's no skin off my nose. putting aside my thoughts about the kids, i'd say that this year's sports day was not exactly worse, but it was less enjoyable than last year's for me. like, the events were similar, but the modifications weren't always good. for instance, the songs that they chose for the dance items were less catchy, somehow. i'm considering just not going next year.

today in school, i was making small talk at the start of class as a warm-up for the kids, like i usually do. it so happened that some of the kids in this class (sec 2) went for the sports day as well, as they still have siblings in the primary school. thinking that i'd use that as a bit of interesting trivia for the others to think about, i asked the kids who were there, "where did i see you yesterday?" total silence from the first 3 people i asked. it was only person 4 that asked me what "where" meant. for context, interrogatives (who, where, when, etc.) are taught in the first term of sec 1. it's now their second term of sec 2. worse, i'm the only foreign english teacher they've had in secondary school, so i am responsible for this in some way. i wish i could understand their thinking sometimes. there was this kid who was unwilling to show me his assignment for fear of having made a mistake. still didn't budge even after i told him that it was my job to look for mistakes and correct them. it's like that stupid meme - the cleaning people are coming over, i'd better clean the house. i mean, let me do my job!

something good that happened today was that my cousin-in-law video called. she was trying to get her kids to sing happy birthday to me, but they kind of froze. stage fright, maybe? i actually kind of wonder if the elder girl still remembers me. i don't expect the younger girl to, because she was born a few weeks after i landed in japan. come to think of it, i can't exactly recall my earliest memory of my non-immediate relatives. for grandparents, i'd say from 3 years old? but for aunts, uncles, and cousins, it's definitely later. if pressed to answer, i'd say 5-6 years old, so maybe i'll still be in time to be part of their core memories. one thing's for sure, if i go back to singapore after JET, it'll be interesting to interact with them again.

browsing linkedin showed me that an acquaintance is now working for the IP firm that i'd like to end up in. we're not close at all - in fact, i don't recall how i know him! my memory says it's either undergrad or grad school. he's a year or two above me, so maybe he TA-ed one of my lab classes. upon looking more intently at his profile picture, i think our association might go back even further. if my hunch is right, he was actually in the year above me in CJC, and my judo senior, to boot! just sent him a message on linkedin. i wonder how he'll react.

still have some things on my mind, but i don't know how best to put them into words. figure i'll let them stew a little bit more in my head. i'm actually hoping that this and next week will pass quickly, because i'm scheduled to appear at an after-school event for some of the primary school kids...aka. more glorified babysitting. and given my thoughts about the primary school now, my goal is just to go in, do the hour, and GTFO.

-random thought of the day: Maybe I'm thinking too much.-

Reminder to self: my long weekend is a little longer, because i'm taking this coming sunday's off-in-lieu early. normally, i arrange to take offs-in-lieu after the event that i get them for, but this was the best place to fit it into my schedule. it's for sports day at the primary school, by the way. unlike last year, i'm not going to stay for too long past my set working hours. no point. i'll make brownies for the staff, though. thinking of putting them to bake on saturday night and letting them cool overnight. the worry is that they'll lose some freshness and texture. i suppose i could prepare the batter the night before and bake in the morning, as i usually do.

i also have a small urge to cycle to the other district on saturday for the other primary school's sports day. can't claim off-in-lieu for that, i don't think. it's not necessarily a bad thing, since not being officially on the clock means i can come and go as i please, and i don't have to dress up as much as i usually do. although bringing cargo means that i have to use my heavier/slower bike...unless i find a way to rig the container to the bike body, or carry it on me.

didn't end up cycling today in the end. partly due to laziness and partially because the guildmates wanted to plan a bit more for the japan trip. we've more or less settled the itinerary for when i'll be with them. good thing we arranged for this planning session; we went to check our hotel bookings and found out that the same rooms in our hotels were available for cheaper. and since our bookings allow for free cancellation up to the day before, we rebooked and cancelled the more expensive ones. i'm saving about 1000 yen per venue. doesn't sound like much, but it adds up to a meal or two. i don't think it'll happen any more than it already has, but i'll check again every now and then in case the price drops further.

took a nice long bath earlier. the temperature feels about right for bath season to resume. prior to this, the last bath i took (onsen with my friend aside) was probably in...april or may? used a bit of the fancy bath salts too. my aim is to finish the box (about less a quarter left now) within my JET term. i should sleep early, to be well-rested for tomorrow.

-random thought of the day: Not feeling good about JLPT.-

Momentous day today! for the first time in this blog's history, the number of posts is the same as the current year. yes, this is my 2022nd post, and unless my post frequency drops to one post per year from now on, it will also be the only time that this happens here. sounds like kind of a ridiculous thing to be celebrating, but i think it's an achievement. i doubt that most people can claim that they've been blogging actively and continuously for 19 years! that just made me acutely aware that next year will be my 20th blogging anniversary. maybe i should do something special in celebration...i'll think about it.

initially, i was thinking of just leaving this post here, then writing a new post with some negative things. but i figured that keeping them in one post is a reminder to take the bitter with the sweet. i'll balance it out with more positive things at the end, but for now, the negative thing is that i've parted ways with the raid team. apparently some people felt that i wasn't trying hard enough. they're entitled to their opinion, of course, just as i'm entitled to disagree and think that they're in no position to be calling other people out. i may not be a top raider, but i think that my performance is sufficient. well...by the end, there was so much said that it would have made continuing together awkward, so this is probably the best outcome.

although it's something that happened in-game, there are learning points for real life as well due to the element of interpersonal interaction. i realize that i don't perform(?) well in these kinds of conflict, despite me thinking that conflict resolution is one of my strong suits. then again, i suppose it isn't really conflict resolution, not when one party has unilaterally decided to terminate the relationship. part of me wishes that i'd said more, like for this particular case, telling them why i thought they were being unfair, and pointing out the deficiencies in their own performance. same during the exit interview with the accursed IP firm. but even if i did, how much of it would sink in? would it be useful? would it come across as taking cheap shots before i left? i guess it's more of wanting my grievances to be heard, rather than hoping anything would come out of it. handling the parting to my satisfaction is something i have to be mindful of the next time something similar happens, i guess. i am proud of myself for recognizing that this wasn't salvageable and not asking that they reconsider. i'm worth more than that.

while it's not the ideal outcome, it's not all bad. i realize that i was overly reliant on some people calling out safe spots over voice chat, to the point where i honestly haven't developed the reflexes for certain parts of some fights. the first couple of tries with randoms might be tough, but i figure it's going to help me learn. also, i feel more free because now i don't have to raid on a schedule. i've raided as a free agent (so to speak) and with a team, and if i had to choose, i'd say i prefer raiding with a team. qualifier: that team must be good. but well, i'm not in a hurry to look for another team now. i'll see how raiding with randoms goes before making a commitment.

perspective check! i should, and do, count myself fortunate that in-game drama is the worst thing i'm having to deal with right now. it might seem like i'm making a mountain out of a molehill by even mentioning it, but writing helps me to process it and set it aside - clearing my mental RAM, so to speak.

now to balance it with good things! first of all, it's a long weekend. japan has a public holiday called sports day. it's either fixed on 10 october, or the second monday of the month. i'm not sure that i'll do anything sporty that day - maybe cycle around town again? the temperature has dropped dramatically too - we're looking at about a 10 degree drop in maximum temperature over a week or two. it's gotten to the point where i'm starting to become reluctant to leave the warmth of the shower, so that's a sign that winter is coming. i really don't know how i survived singapore's weather for 32 years.

the stereotype i see on the internet is that winter is bulking season and summer is cutting season. that's in reference to body weight, by the way. maybe i'm mistaken about it, i don't know. personally, i think that i'm more inclined to lose weight in cold weather. my body has to do more work to maintain the temperature, after all. plus i feel like i have more impetus to be active in winter. summer is too hot, and the sweaty/sticky feeling is just gross.

more happy news, my two trips! first one is end-november to early december, where i'll be driving to osaka and kobe to collect my passport and meet my professor respectively. we're scheduled for dinner, so i suppose i should do some research on restaurants. next, a trip to tokyo in february to meet with some of the final fantasy guild people who are coming over for a holiday. the last time i saw some of them was during the farewell party that they threw for me in october-ish 2020, so it would have been more than 2 years since we've met in person. i'm half-tempted to experiment with dating apps in both kobe and tokyo, because i know more people will turn up in the searches. we'll see if i actually do it or not.

am i a sucker for punishment? i just semi-agreed to do additional work for the tuition place. granted that this is easy - curating and possibly creating questions for end-of-topic tests. the money is pretty good, too! i'm looking at close to $1200 for what i project to take a week or less to finish. although it may not be the wisest decision, with JLPT in about 2 months. i hardly feel ready!

didn't mean to let this post get so long, both in terms of length and writing time! i'll update again on my sports day, as well as a couple of other things which i'm sure have escaped my memory now.

-random thought of the day: Loving the temperature!-

Fountain pen cravings struck again! well, cravings might be a little exaggeration. it started off as curiosity about how pen prices have changed, and what new models are available. thankfully, the 2021 and 2022 limited editions of the capless/vanishing point don't appeal to me. one's a metallic light blue that fades to black near the top of the pen, and the other's a bright coral red. both are a bit too bright for my tastes. unfortunately, the capless LS is still expensive, at about 28800 yen. thanks to the yen's depreciation against the SGD, it's cheaper, although that's still almost double the price of a regular model. if i had to choose, i'd go for the matte black one, but there are 2 things that i don't quite like about it: (1) that they only offer silver nib units when they have black ones; (2) that the little strip of accent colour on the pen body is red. that makes me feel i have to use red ink with the pen. personally, i would have liked blue.

that thought led me to thinking of getting more black nib units in different sizes. currently, i have 2 in medium and 1 in fine. thinking of swapping one medium for an extra fine, and getting a 1mm stub just for fun/to try it out. while searching for a pilot retailer in japan, i realized that pilot doesn't seem to do direct sales. maybe they're too big, and prefer to work with distributors instead of end-users. there's apparently a big stationery shop in kochi city. i should explore it...maybe on the way back from kobe.

my online searches show that the black nib unit is either unpopular or unheard of in japan. there doesn't seem to be any place with an internet presence that stocks them. or maybe it's one of those things that are only available upon asking in the physical store. i'll check that stationery shop. worst case i order it online. it's completely unfounded, but i worried for a second that pilot either had or was going to discontinue it. it seems fairly popular (outside of japan, at least), so they shouldn't, right? well, hopefully they don't. not until i can get my hands on a few more, at least.

going forward, i think i'll stick to pens with retractable nibs or snap caps for the office. the twist caps are better suited for more casual/meditative writing, where you have more time to unscrew the cap...especially when most caps require 2 turns or more. it's quite impractical for most non-recreational daily life situations. but it'll be a while before i'm in a higher-pressure office environment, so it's not that big of a deal now.

went on a nice long but casual cycle earlier. the weather is cooler now, which is awesome. i'm trying to explore at least one new road every week. for a supposedly small town, there are quite many small roads to turn into! they all end up leading back to the main street anyway, as is natural for a residential-type layout. thanks to that, i haven't managed to get lost...yet. i suspect it will become more difficult when i start exploring the relatively less built-up areas.

going to sleep early tonight. tomorrow doesn't appear to be too stressful, but i should work at keeping my lifestyle healthy. this is literally the best time to improve my health.

-random thought of the day: Going to make rendang soon!-