Bad-quality sleep last night meant i was quite low-energy today. still, i managed to make it through the alumni gathering, tuition, and even a short pit stop at the office(!). before all of that, i'll just recap dinner yesterday.

we ate at this place called omu nomu, which promotes itself as a sake and raw bar. they offer cooked food too, so it's kind of misleading. but i'm not complaining at a greater variety of food! it was good in general, but super pricey...about $90 per person before the $40 voucher! i think the best dish for me was the foie gras skewers. surprisingly for a sake place, the sake was a bit of a letdown. thankfully i was there more for the food, so i didn't leave disappointed. in a surprising change, scary JC friend didn't drink all that much either. the lacklustre first cup of sake didn't give her confidence to order more, i guess.

i basically hit the sack after coming home (before midnight), and ended waking up at 4+ am. thought i heard some hammering noises. considering it's the 7th lunar month now, my imagination went wild for a bit. i used to be way more afraid of any potential paranormal things, but moving to japan pretty much cured me of that. my reasoning was that if i don't bother whatever's out there, whatever's out there won't bother me too. and considering that nothing happened despite the ulu-ness of japan (you could probably hide a body in the mountains and forests), i think it's less likely to happen in urban singapore. side note: can't remember who told me this or where i read it from, but i remember the message being "cemeteries/graveyards aren't scary because the people in there are someone's loved ones". the noises at all odd hours here (mainly vehicle noises) do make me miss the silence of nighttime rural japan, though.

not going to make a habit of it at this time, but i went back to the office today. the reason was that i forgot to send a case out yesterday. normally, that wouldn't be big enough of a deal to make me return to the office on a weekend. but as part of the changes to our workflow, we're also changing the format of our reports a little. so all reports with the old template have to be sent out either by or before next monday - i forgot which. if you know my luck, you wouldn't be surprised that the report i forgot to send out yesterday is still using the old template. "by monday" wouldn't be a problem, but "before monday" would mean having to create a separate file with the new template and copy/pasting everything over, which is more hassle than it's worth. so i decided to quickly pop in after tuition to send the report out, saving myself some potential trouble on monday. while sending the report out, i was happy to find out that one of the features that we strongly requested for (relating to version numbering) was resolved. credit where it's due, they're quite prompt in addressing issues that we raise. i just wish the product was launched with these issues being nonexistent in the first place!

got a bit of a meditation/reflection to do about the idea of popularity/desirable-ness and seeking approval. i've probably said it before, but i think this focus on outer appearance isn't healthy. like, the thing i wrote about a couple of posts ago, about gay guys judging by appearance even for non-M-18 stuff. i guess you might call it sour grapes, because my body type isn't in high demand. the thing that makes me a bit sad is that people who do not fit the ideal physical appearance are somehow seen as "lesser" in the community. whatever i've done or whatever interesting experiences i've had in my life so far don't matter, because people don't care enough to find out. and yes, i know the model answer is that i shouldn't waste my time, effort, and feelings on such people. sometimes i forget, so it's good to remind myself.

another thing i kind of realized is that our reality is what we perceive. because of that, marketing oneself is important. some people are quite savvy, like they show themselves hooking up left and right, yet say that they are selective and don't accept money. my guess is they do this to increase the perceived scarcity, to make themselves look more desirable. reminder to myself: people typically only show their best sides on social media. it's easy to forget that their lives are not always as perfect as they portray on screen.

while i'm not in mentally harmful territory at the moment, i think i should nip this in the bud and proactively reduce or even stop consumption of M-18 social media. might be better for me to channel my time and energy into more productive pursuits, such as exercise, home improvement, or even real-life encounters. it's easier said than done, though. there's the whole dopamine thing, plus the inertia associated with doing things that are good for you, but which don't feel that way. scary JC friend mentioned some time back that she sees me as a very "comfort zone" person, like i wouldn't change something if it didn't need changing. considering the status of unpacking, i can't exactly say she's wrong. but still! i think i should take steps to shake things up. can't expect different results while doing the same thing, right?

-random thought of the day: Throw out or give away more things!-