Habits are more likely to be followed if they require minimal effort and/or give a valuable reward. that's what atomic habits teaches, and it does make sense. like my blogging habit, where the only 2 (self-set) criteria are (1) to blog at least once a calendar month, and (2) to definitely write year-end and new year posts. so although i haven't gone to such an extreme yet, having a post on 1 january and the next post on 28 february would still fall within my acceptable range. but i hope it doesn't get to that stage.

so, what's been going on in my life? work's been good-ish, we're exiting the first phase of training and will finally start on actual files next week. i've mentioned before that i still have a bit of PTSD when it comes to getting my work checked by a superior, but so far the people here have been really nice about it...even when i made a glaring error. i hope this will be the place that heals me and allows me to bloom. having said that, i know that i have to put in the effort as well.

things with L are at kind of a steady-state. could be because we're both occupied with work now, but i feel that the distance is growing a little. or maybe it was because he wasn't very talkative today. it's our first valentine's day together, by the way. what a day to be having these doubts and insecurities creep in! well, i'm sure he's not cheating on me, and i trust he knows the reverse is true. it's probably just work drama on his end...he's been telling me and his dad about it, and my opinion is that he should fight for more power to effect change. i should focus more on the positives - he's still letting me stay at his place, his dad is at least tolerant, if not accepting of my presence, and we're scheduled to go to japan together next month.

being the "worst-case scenario" guy that i am, i tried asking myself what would happen if L were to decide to end the relationship? as much as i don't want it to happen, i do have a contingency plan. it will be a pain to execute and it relies on the goodwill of others, but a plan is there. i'm just hoping that if it should come to that, any negative emotions/fallout won't spill over to other areas of my life, especially work. honestly, finding this job was like striking gold, and i don't intend to let it go.

in the "me" realm, i guess i'm doing ok. kind of getting into the groove of daily life, and i think it'll soon be time to start picking up another ball or two. the top one on my mind is starting some sort of exercise routine. now that my schedule is more or less confirmed (hybrid arrangement FTW) and i know what to expect in terms of energy levels and tiredness after work, i think that i can fit 1 or 2 workouts per week into the mix. i'm currently thinking at least wednesday night, and one other night or morning if i feel up to it.

financially, i'm in a bit of a sinkhole. the japan airfare and associated bookings have basically wiped out my first month's salary. or they will, when my credit card bill comes. ok, full disclosure. my recent purchases haven't helped, either. not only that, even fate wasn't on my side. see, i'd bought a monitor in anticipation of working from home. i'd only owned it for 9 days (and used it for 2), when a really strong gust of wind blew it over. it landed face-down on the desk and gave up the ghost. one thing to be grateful for here is that my laptop made it out unscathed. i'd hate to have to replace that as well! the company was...let's just say they weren't very sympathetic. they offered a 30% discount on a relacement monitor. not worth it, i feel. so the plan is to boycott the brand with a mathematical sign in its name, and to get a more atas (and yes, more expensive) monitor to replace the broken one. when i first got it, i mentioned to my colleague that i'd gotten a monitor, and told him the specs. his first question was, "why didn't you get a bigger one?". call it consumerism or whatever, but i think this monitor dying is a sign. this time though, i'm going to get an arm to clamp to the desk and insurance to protect against any damage.

you know, i never imagined that i'd be living my current life. don't get me wrong, there's still a LOT of room to go upwards, but having free run of the house, living with people i get along with (one of them being my partner), having an interesting, well-paying job...things are good! long may they stay this way.

-random thought of the day: Tuition tomorrow.-