Potential! that's what i'd wanted to blog about in the last post. i started this post as a draft more than a week ago, but just haven't got around to fleshing my ideas out and posting it. figure i'll talk about other stuff while the memories are fresher, and save the bit about potential for last.

school has been busy, as is typical of term 2. there are still good days and bad days, and i'd say that the number of good days is decreasing. but it's still within my acceptable range. i've all but given up on 2 of the classes in the bigger school, and am adopting a "whatever happens, happens" mentality with them. to their credit, all 6 eiken candidates there passed, surpassing my expectations. the smaller school makes me feel that my effort is worthwhile, because basically all of the kids are engaged and responsive. even if the one eiken candidate doesn't pass, i won't be upset at all because he took a higher grade than he's supposed to. would be a huge plus if he did pass, though!

but still, it's not enough to convince me to stay another year. further reinforcing that thought is that for some reason, i've been getting more requests to do stuff outside of regular english class - for instance, i was asked to do a session with the nursery school this past monday. thankfully, the new guy tanked most of it, and really well, too! he's also set to help out in being santa, which i did in my first year. i was asked to do it again this year, and i'd thought i'd deflected it, until the new guy told me that my supervisor basically said i'd have to go. maybe it's my ORD mood kicking in, but i don't appreciate having things like this decided for me. so i'm even more determined to get out of it; i'll even take an hour's leave if necessary. also, a teacher in the bigger school asked me to come up with an activity to fill 2 hours. the sec 1 class (also my least favourite class) is having some integrated learning thing, and i honestly don't know why i got roped in. well, the current plan is to design a board game that will make them look for trivia about various countries. with luck, a single run will take the entire 2 hours and i'll have an easy job as the facilitator.

today was a half day, as there was some workshop thing going on at the primary school. although i'd taken time off, i decided to pop by just to see how the kids were doing. they all grew so much! i admit, i enjoyed myself more than i thought i would. and it almost made me wish that i still had occasional classes there. but i also know that that feeling would fade away real quick. in a meta kind of way, i suppose that can be extrapolated to the present and the future. perhaps a few years down the road, i'll be sitting at my desk at work or doing something at home, and the thought 'i wish i could have another day in school with (some of) the kids' will come to mind. i suppose i should remind myself then, as i'm doing now, that nostalgia often has a rose-coloured tint. i definitely won't miss trying to elicit a response or getting kids to pay attention and participate in class activities.

back to the bit about potential...as i was writing a birthday letter for one of the kids in the sec 2 class some time back, i mentioned that despite him believing that english is hard and that he's no good at it, he actually has decent aptitude for it. he's naturally smart (evidenced by him using bad words in a grammatically correct way without guidance), but doesn't possess drive/direction. although i see teachers asking students to think about their futures and which schools to aim for, i realize that at sec 2, the stages of life beyond secondary school were the furthest things from my mind! granted that i had a year more than them by virtue of secondary school being a year longer for me, so there wasn't that much pressure to decide. i hope he'll come round, and sooner than later.

the realization i have about potential is that everyone has it. to different degrees, yes, but that's not the point. the point is, potential remains as potential until it's actually used. i have the potential to play a musical instrument, but i still can't because i don't have the knowledge, and don't intend to acquire it. i'm sure that if i devoted the same time and effort to the piano as my secondary school friend did, i'd be a decent casual player at least! and that's the next catch - intention/willingness to learn. if i've said it once, i've said it a thousand times, you can lead a horse to water but you can't force it to drink. should really tell the kids to their faces. maybe it might shock them into changing something. of course, i'm aware that people have different interests, learning speeds and all that, plus other conditions may vary. my main point is that one will remain at the same level if one doesn't even try. like the kids who constantly say "english is impossible", and put no effort into it, only for content to get harder, and them falling behind even further.

i've got a few more things to blog about, including another weird dream and some cooking projects, but this post is getting long enough as it is. guess i should wrap up here and go to sleep. the colder weather makes my futon and thick blanket infinitely more inviting.

-random thought of the day: Broke out the fleece earlier this week!-