To quote a 4-6 phrase, i'm "SOOOOOO TIIIIIIRED!!!!!" today was spent rather fruitfully (well, depending on your idea of "fruitful"). bought a new pair of shoes to replace my retiring new balances, which have been under my abuse since 2001 or so. quite happy. can't wait to try them out tomorrow.

i'm also feeling angry and under pressure. really weird combination of feelings. anyway, "angry" comes from the fact that someone misplaced my MP3 wire, most probably while trying to "tidy up" my personal space. what's ironic is, there was an agreement that nobody other than the owner (ie. me) is allowed to move the things in there. it's so irritating. and then i get blamed for losing something which i did not lose, and for not keeping my place as tidy as expected. sometimes i wonder why give me full control/authority/possession over an area, then tell me exactly what to do with it. i'm gradually losing respect for a certain someone, because *gender withheld* is always screaming at others to cover up something which *gender withheld* has been mistaken in.

under pressure is because my 2 econs mindmaps are due before tomorrow. currently, they're still in my mind. i can just imagine telling Ms. Tan "but...but...but that's what mindmaps are...they stay in the mind..." i'm sure she'll be less than pleased. oh well. must at least chiong one before tomorrow. the economic systems one can wait for a while. and that's not the end of my academic worries. the thing which i've feared most is slowly but surely coming true. my chem's slipping up. of course, i could blame it on a million factors, like my teacher, the lecturer, the learning environment, the standard of the school, the lecture notes' material, but in the end, it would be denial. i think i've been too laid back in my learning. my natural quick absorption's almost gone. a-level stuff isn't as easy as what i did last year. must totally change my mindset and ask for extra help in order to stay on top. after all, chem's the only thing that keeps me going (and keeps my average up). if i can't excel in my best subject, i'm basically screwed.

not to forget the tons of gp articles which have yet to be done. whoopee. better go do up that mindmap now.

-thingy of the day: The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and science.-

Firstly, happy CNY. it's a bit late, but still...anyway, kids can sure do a lot of growing in a year. my cousins' children are all walking already. to think that they were still nonexistent in 2002. celebrations were less fun than previous years' though. i think it's mainly due to the fact that my grandparents aren't around to organize everything anymore. they really knew how to amplify the festiveness of it all.

next, valentines' day. i feel so loved, thanks to all the nice lovely wonderful thoughtful presents. i'll take this opportunity to say a big "THANK YOU!!" to eleanor, gen, weng, pris, alvernia, and everyone else who gave me something. now i feel so bad that i didn't prepare anything for anyone. all members of 1T37, feel free to shoot me. in the spirit of giving, i actually went to donate blood. someone stuck something on me, and i realized it said "be nice to me, this is my first time". somehow, i think the nurses noticed that. they were exceedingly nice, and made my first experience a memorable one (in a good way of course). the spot where they poked the needle in still hurts occasionally, but it should recover by tomorrow.

can't wait to start training again. the long CNY break means that i haven't been on the mats since a week ago. the novelty of judo is taking surprisingly long to wear off. i think i've found my choice sport. it's FUN. but there's still a long way to go. plenty of improvement room.

ah well. better be heading off now. there's a maths test tomorrow. so irritating.

-thingy of the day: "Majority rule only works if you're also considering individual rights. Because you can't have five wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for supper."-

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRGH.

i absolutely hate it when my nose starts to run. it means that i have to waste energy catching it. in all seriousness, i'm bloody pissed off now. nasal roblems are just one of the reasons. the other shall not be mentioned here, but Undertaker eyes do come in useful sometimes.

the panadol which was taken about an hour ago does not seem to be working. in fact, it's given me a headache now. ok, so i'm not entirely sure that the headache was the panadol's fault, but i need something on which to pin the blame. maybe i'm not that smart, taking panadol for a runny nose.

anyway, CNY celebrations tomorrow. "celebrations" because there'll be more than one. as if that wasn't obvious. planned on watching Shall We Dance, but somehow, i think today's the last day they're screening it. ah well. another opportunity forgone.

if anyone remembers my first post of 2005, they'll most likely recall that one of my major new year resolutions was not to judge people based on first impressions. it's a lot more difficult to keep than it sounds. already, i think i'm guilty of judging a person (who shall be known as "Z" for anonymity and convenience). to the rest of 1T37, Z is pretty ok, but from what i gather, Z has been saying some not-so-nice things about me behind my back. to make it worse, Z hasn't been too discrete about it, resulting in these things becoming sort of an open secret. not that wise of a move, really.

i sort of realize i've been going on and on about this thing in my last few posts, which shows that this issue is rather serious. so far, tolerance appears to be working, although i don't know how long more it will. i hope nobody has to see anything they shouldn't if patience wears thin.

now, all i have to do is hope that my nose clears up in time for tomorrow. it wouldn't be nice (or safe or hygenic or convenient) to travel around with a nose running at over 50km/h.

one last roar to vent irritated-ness:
ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGRRH

-thingy of the day: It's a bad idea to inhale water.-

I'm in a random, spontaneous mood now. let's take care of that:

WHEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!

ok then. as i was saying, there's virtually no blogging material these days. it seems that my life revolves around school, judo, and the occasional outing.

i have a feeling that someone is saying not-so-nice things about me that i'm not supposed to know about. but oh well. let them say what they like. not confirming or denying anything. that's the best way to handle a situation.

got a chinese thing tomorrow. didn't study. think i left my notes in school. yay.

-thingy of the day: Confucius says man who runs behind car gets exhausted.-

Eventful weekend. quite a lot of things happened, which is why it's been eventful. and i'm going in circles. on to the post.

Judo's getting even more interesting. we're learning something like one new throw per lesson. this means 2 things: 1) we're learning very quickly, and 2) we may not be practising the throws that we've previously learnt due to information overload. but it's all still fun. the seniors are warming up to us now. they're not as cold as i'd previously thought. in fact, it looks like most of them are nice people. i'm foreseeing that saturday dinner with them may turn into a regular thing.

aside from the networking side of the CCA, the techincal/academic/learning aspect's going great as well. as mentioned earlier, we're learning stuff really fast; sort of an express course in Judo. but overall, i think i'm doing pretty good. got all the basics down. now to find out how/when to go for the grading exams. that black belt isn't within my grasp yet, but i'm working on it. just need another 5-odd years or so.

next up, today's events. despite what the reviews/friends say, Elektra's not too bad. the storyline's a bit hazy in places, but the pieces all come together eventually. Stick's pool skills are amazing. he's blind, and he won an 8-ball game in 2 shots. that aside, other parts of the movie were great too. as usual, no spoilers, but if you're a Marvel fan, go catch it.

pool was fun too. was slightly off form, but won the first few games due to strategy and by a significant contribution courtesy of lady luck herself. she's always looking out for me ^__^. need to practise jump shots though.

our new set of furniture came in today. comfortable. i could fall asleep on it. very tempted to do just that after this. then i can sell my bed for extra $$...or not.

tomorrow's going to be a shitty day. not only is there an econs test, dismissal is at 5pm. mondays are meant to kill students and workers. oh yes. well, maybe the week will get better, like with the cross-country on wednesday. riiiiiiiiiiight.

funny how my weekend sounds livelier than the rest of my week put together.

-thingy of the day: A drop of knowledge can overcome a sea of force.-

JC life is draining. not enough time to blog. and even when i feel like blogging, more often than not i end up staring at a blank window. nothing fantastically interesting's going on now, so i figure it's back to blogging about mundane stuff.

this week has been a blur. the days just whiz by. 1T37's bonding better. or at least it appears to be. i'm not too keen into reading too deeply into stuff. well, at least everyone's getting along. it's just that some get along better than others.

*finally* went back to cat high on wednesday. pretty emotional homecoming. no, not to the extent of tears or anything like that, but seeing most of the teachers and other students felt so good. not to mention the added benefit of disciplinary immunity. still, i'm missing 4-6 quite badly. hopefully most of the guys will go back during chinese new year. then we can organize a mini-reunion.

other than that, today was quite fun. we actually celebrated a birthday!! never did that before. it was quite successful, even invited our home tutors to join in. credit goes to the girls here. wonderful organizational skills.

only downside is i never expected to see him in CJ. i could have sworn he went somewhere else. it's odd though; today was the first day i saw him. i know i would have noticed before, either during orientation or lessons. maybe i'm going blind...or maybe it's a sign.

anyway, no use thinking too much about it. answers will be revealed sooner or later. better go to sleep - have to be up early tomorrow (or later).

-thingy of the day: There's no "I" in "team", but there's a "me".-

Posts per week are steadily declining. now for the week in less than 1000 words:

wednesday was a day of...i don't know. the new chem lecturer (Ms. Koh, as I've found out) is, and i quote, "really bitchy". i think she enjoys picking on some people in particular, like this one guy from her tutorial class. it was quite a negative first impression, and there was this strong sense of satisfaction when i got called up to show my answer and she couldn't fault me.

but thursday's lecture was better. i think she won points with the group for playing "The Reason", as well as for showing us some rather innovative brain teaser thingies. (eg. what's 007 007? double bond.) there were 2 i dodn't quite understand, but oh well. answers will be shown next monday.

aside from that, a major decision was also made. judo will be my one and only CCA. not that fencing isn't cool and all (in fact, i think fencing's seniors are nicer), but my interest just doesn't lie there. i'll have to go apologize to them next wednesday. they've been really great to all of us, even though some people (like me) may not join them in the end. and just based on that, i feel like i've let them down a whole lot. hell, i might even let the judo team, and the rest of CJ down in march. imagine how bad it'll feel then.

in other news, i think i'm falling sick. i'be been coughing up green stuff tinged with red almost non-stop since tuesday night or so. and it doesn't appear to be clearing up by itself. i think a visit to the doctor is due soon. might as well go extend my new year greetings as well.

in the end, i didn't manage to go back to cat high. i blurrly forgot about the make-up chem practical session. one side benefit of joining judo is that i'm free on wednesdays, which is supposed to be the "official" CCA day. clashes in the coach's schedule and all. so i get to go home at 1pm!! and that makes it the perfect day to (finally) pay everyone at cat high a visit. as an added bonus, the bowling team's training in school as well. can go and say hi to them.

still behind on maths. have to finish the modulus tutorial by the weekend. and get a few more articles for english gp. still not used to the name change yet. have to run now. need sleep.

-thingy of the day: Change is the constant, the signal for rebirth, the egg of the phoenix.-

The worst of the week's over. mondays and tuesdays are very strenous. i seriously feel like sleeping now. luckily my dismissal times for the remainder of the week are no later than 2:30pm. ending friday at 5:00 would be oh so horrible.

i know i've said this before, but for emphasis, I MISS CAT HIGH!!! i'll most probably go back for a visit on thursday, since there's no training for the judo beginners. as i'm not an official student there anymore, i don't think the discipline committee can fault me on attire and all that. disciplinary immunity rocks. ^__^ can't wait to see the teachers and whoever else may be there again. it'll be like coming home, only it's school.

i'm not making sense, which is a sign of fatigue. there's one more thing i know i want to say, but my memory refuses to bring it up. ah well. time for sleep. screw homework.

-thingy of the day: Try to remember that one thing.-

Just a quick note: i don't really mind what the class thinks of me. i see no reason to feel guilty, as i haven't broken any laws. and about the class' situation, i'm practising selective hearing/understanding. no point in depressing everyone when first 3 months are for fun, right?

btw. leave your name next time.

-thingy of the day: Must find some time for entertainment soon.-

As i've told many people, JC life is fun, but tiring. this past week can stand testament to that.

as mentioned before, most of the teachers are great. take note: MOST OF. i hate the econs lecturer. she bores worse than a dental drill. it'll take all my concentration and more to actually benefit from her lessons. of course, i think i may be biased here. it's possible that we got off to a bad start, and that formed a bad first impression. but on the flipside, she talks in a monotone, cracks unfunny jokes, and is generally PMS-y. so...i don't know.

aside from that, i'm amazed at 1T37's rate of bonding. within 7 to 8 days since the formation of the class, we already have a "family"!! with 3 generations some more. this has never ever happened to any class i've been in, not even 4-6, which personified "class spirit". then again, a family of guys would be kind of weird. i guess it was for the better that the family thing never happened in cat high.

speaking of cat high, i'm feeling homesick. i miss it like crazy. originally planned on going back today, but eventually decided not to. really stupid decision. turns out they were having their CCA day today, which was held uncharacteristically early this year. it would usually be held at least on the 3rd or 4th saturday of the term. oh well. wonder how's the recruitment for bowling this year? hopefully the number's around 15. i think we're low on members now.

CJ is really really growing on me. i'm subconsciously referring to CJ students as "we" and getting used to calling it "my school". right now, the leave-stay ratio is 60:40. just imagine what another 8 weeks will do. plus getting attached to a CCA, it may potentially end up at 100:-3 or some other ridiculously impossible number. maybe i should have stayed home.

anyway, there's judo tomorrow at 1:30. must sleep now.

-thingy of the day: Man who runs behind car gets exhausted.-

Too tired to type for long today. brief summary of events:

- my essay's length does not meet the requirement for GP.
- econs sounds manageable.
- chem lecture was fun, but tutorial was BORING. love the video clip.
- narrowed CCA choices down to fencing and judo. maybe both?
- my knees hurt. like hell. and there's PE tomorrow.
- 1T37 gets better and better.

-thingy of the day: Too tired to think.-

The first day of school can best be described as fun, but tiring. lessons are formally on, although the timetable isn't completely finalized. on first impression, all the teachers seem ok, even though chem was a bit of a disappointment due to my rather high expectation. it was mainly because i was expecting the subject head to teach us, but i think i screwed up on the names somewhere.

other than that, maths was a relief. turns out i screwed up the names (again). our maths teacher appears to be the more...interesting than the one i feared we would be stuck with. he seems more dynamic, at least.

but the "worst lecture of the day" award goes to econs. no dispute. unanimous vote. the lecturer was trying to be funny, with pretty limited success. to make things worse, the powerpoint presentation was recycled from last year. not very impressive. well, looking on the bright side, at least i don't have tutorials with her.

the scariest thing today was definitely PE. the last time i had a PE lesson later than 10:00 am was back in 1999, in my double-session primary school. PE at 4:00 pm today was quite a big shock. was totally unprepared, but still survived. go me. ^__^

i've just realized that i have a certain trait. i don't know if it's positive or negative, but when someone interests me (as in want to get to know better, not get married or anything like that), i maximize all my resources finding out almost everything about that person. it sounds a bit stalker-istic, i know, but still...i myself have no idea why i do that. i think it gives me a (somewhat twisted) sense of accomplishment. another one of my eccentricities. oh wow.

anyway, i'm really trying to sleep before 11:15, but since it's 11:10 now, i don't think i'll be succeeding. anyway, i'd best be off.

-thingy of the day: CJ blue looks *good*.-

Forgive me for not blogging daily for the past 4 days. Believe me - I really wanted to, but JC life is pretty tiring, especially for the new recruits. So, I'll just summarize everything (somewhat inaccurately, I expect) into a proper, capitalized, jumbo post.

Tuesday
it was the second (and last) day IG8 was together. My memory's a bit fuzzy here, but I seem to remember taking a school tour, learning the school song, school cheers (give Eugene a chance), campfire songs, and the second quarter of the mass dance. The campfire songs were really funny, with immortal chickens, different kinds of frogs and words that made no sense at all. We also got our class assignments, and that's how I ended up in 1T37, which is part of a greater organization known as Ember house, whose signature colour is pink.

in 1T37, the people are generally nice, I think. There are all sorts of people there, from new faces to second degree friends, to old schoolmates whom I've never noticed. And my 2 home tutors, or form teachers, are teaching GP and econs.

Wednesday
indoor games for us. The main objective was to promote class bonding. They had all sorts of games, like transport-marbles-between-your-toes, pass-the-cereal-mouth-to-mouth-with-toothpicks, throw-water-balloons-behind-your-back-and-hope-others-catch-them, draw-the-picture-after-spinning-around, more mass dancing, and a whole lot of other stuff. I must admit, the games did seem quite retarded at first, but still, we all had a good time, and that's what mattered.

we (i.e. 1T37) also involuntarily volunteered to act in a skit for finale night. We (or rather, Elsa from 1T26) came up with a really funny storyline for our act. Basically it involved a guy falling in love with an ogre of a girl and then learning the bangla/bangra dance to impress her. The facilitators (facils for short) taught us 4 house cheers, of which I can only clearly remember 2. The banner cheer is really fun and easy to commit to memory, not to mention seeing the freaked out expressions people get when you launch into the "na na na na na..." part in the middle of the street.

Thursday
we took part in outdoor games at Kallang, which involved the pirated Amazing Race and dragon boating. Amazing Race was a bit tedious, with us spending way too much time on one of the clues, but dragon boating was really great...even though I ended up a nice shade of red after that, and not a single part of me remained dry. Here, I will thank cat high for the nice, warm, dry PE shirt which I had the presence of mind to pack.

Friday
Ah...the last day of orientation. Introductory lectures were conducted for us. I must say that chem looks promising, although one of the teachers, Mr Chiam, looks familiar and his name rings a bell somewhere. GP is almost the same as English, but our one-time lecturer was really funny, yet he managed to get his point across. Too bad he's teaching J2 this year. I think his lessons would have been really enjoyable. The econs lecturer really bored the hell out if me, and I thank god she's not teaching me. As for maths, "oh boy" is the only way to describe it. My lecturer-to-be sounds so...On a different wavelength as compared to the students. I predict my maths will suffer until March at least.

The facils did a great job of organizing the CCA pasar. The seniors were generally nice and informative. I decided not to join bowling again, as I felt that I had to take a break of sorts. I can barely imagine going down to Victor's on a regular basis for another 2 years. Instead, I put my name down for fencing and judo. I'm more inclined towards judo now, but who knows? Fencing is intriguing. And student council is quite attractive, because in the event that I stay on after march, I think I'll get to help orientate the new students of the second intake. Aside from that, canoeing and shooting also sound fun. 4 CCAs to consider. Oh boy. Decisions decisions.

then, finale night finally approached. We were the first house to do our skit, and we got a good many laughs out of the audience. And even though 1T37 wasted so much time during the amazing race, Ember still miraculously had the shortest average time of completion for the race. That means that the other Ember classes must have chionged through all the 6 stations. Too bad we didn't win the overall most dynamic house award, which went to Pyro. I honestly thought we cheered better than them (and that they were sort of inactive). To mark the conclusion of our orientation, we did the whole mass dance, which we had finished learning only a few hours ago. I think the dance steps will stay in my memory for quite a while.

After the whole thing ended, we went to Lucky Plaza's Macs for a late dinner and to "officially" end our night. That's where I discovered that if 1T37 tells all their lame jokes, the combined chill could freeze hell over. But we all had a good time, no?

Present
I think that the orientation has succeeded in making me do the thing I didn't want to do - I've become quite attached to CJ. I believe that if I leave CJ, be it for better or worse, I'm going to have a tough time saying goodbye to the friends/acquaintances I've made there. I originally never thought I'd have to go to CJ, let alone start to like it, but fate has a funny way of working.

Lessons will begin next Monday. The maths department has already given us some notes and an assignment (which I have no idea how to do), and I'm guessing that life will be pretty hectic. Especially when Chinese is still a part of my syllabus. Another new year's resolution will be to settle Chinese by year end so that there won't be an extra burden when studying for the A-levels.

That's all for now. Will be back soon to comment on "normal" JC life.

-thingy of the day: Why is everyone talking in third person perspective?-

Venturing into JC was not as bad as i'd imagined.

one thing i must remember - morning traffic is really a killer. it took half an hour to reach CJ. luckily i left the house at 7. once in the school building, the first thing that struck me was all the different colours floating around. no doubt it was scary at first, but i managed to spot the familiar green. while i didn't exactly feel relief at spotting my former (and maybe future) classmates, there was a certain sense of comfort knowing that people you know will be there, sticking the orientation out with you.

morning assembly started on a rather shocking note, with things done completely different from cat high. i don't know why they played the (amazingly short) school song today, but i suppose it's for the best as we would have to learn the song sooner or later. after some announcements, we split into our IGs (index groups). i realize that i have pretty good facilitators. by that, i mean pretty and good </lame>. anyway, we did introductions in pairs, followed by some random stuff i have forgotten, and after that, we met the principal.

Brother Paul Rogers is, to use one of my terms, bleeding nuts. he's totally different from HBK, and his way of speaking is just so...natural. not to mention funny. i think it's because he's foreign, and is less inhibited about the words he uses. i mean, which other principal in singapore would call a student a "bloody fool"?

registered for subject combinations next. my 3 choices can be summarized as maths, chem, econs first, then replace econs with physics, then replace chem with econs. hopefully it's choice 1, but choice 2 wouldn't be too bad either.

oh. and before i forget, we were taught an orientation mass dance. to quote the facilitator, it's more accurately described as a "bangla dance", with bollywood-esque music to match. despite how it may sound, it was kind of fun. and if my sources are right, we'll be doing more tomorrow.

overall, i think the school's not too bad, with a positive environment, good atmosphere and all. still, i'm trying not to be too attached to it, as doing so may affect my judgement in march. i think that the whole purpose of the first 3 months is for the JCs to try and "convert" students so that a relatively low number of people actually transfer in march.

oh well. have to be sleeping by 11. need energy for the rest of the week, which means about 8-9 hours of sleep every night. bye now.

-thingy of the day: Never simultaneously watch Fear Factor and eat dinner.-

Here we are. it's oficially 2005 now. strange though; i think i'm in denial. i can't believe that starting from tomorrow, i'll have to wake up at 6 in the morning for school again.

speaking of school, the somewhat late but informative CJ letter told me that i'm only eligible for 3 a-level subjects. and looking at the combinations given, i'll have to say that my subjects will be chem, maths and econs. i've been hearing rumours that i'll be forced to take chinese, but so far, there has been no indication of that on the letter. maybe they *are* scrapping that practice, or it only happens after march.

orientation sounds scary. i have a feeling we'll have to do some pretty extreme stuff. but then again, how bad can it be? all that's at stake is our pride...and maybe a few limbs. then again, who knows? it could be fun.

and since this is my first post of the new year, it's resolution time. in the upcoming year, i will:

- make new friends while maintaining good relations with the existing ones.
- make sure my chem is in order for a chance to take the s paper.
- maintain a minimum of a B average throughout the year.
- clarify all doubts with lessons on the same day.
- not judge classmates or schoolmates by appearance alone.
- be nicer to my family.
- control my lame/spastic tendencies.
- go back to cat high for teachers' day.
- not kill myself in the event of poor o-level results.
- not take everything too personally.
- not sink into depression or anything scary like that.
- adjust to school life within 2 weeks.
- not get angry unless absolutely necessary.
- limit going out to twice a month or so, on fridays and saturdays.
- use a finer pen for writing.

looking at the list, some items don't exactly fit the description of a resolution. then again, isn't a resolution something which i'm resolved to do? i think my definitions are screwed. oh well. that's all for now. have to go do some last-minute checking to make sure tomorrow's a success.

-thingy of the day: Is anyone in CJ, IG 8?-