Mental backlog is accumulating to significant levels. not anywhere near critical yet, but bad enough to give rise to negativity. figured that i'd better clear it now, lest i risk being overcome by bad thoughts.

since the last post, several interesting things have happened, one of them being the training camp. well...grading/bonding camp. i didn't participate all that much in the bonding activities. after all, i'm already an old senior, ad i should probably allow bonding to happen between the J1s and J2s, and maybe some newer seniors as well. what i did do was help out in the technical aspect of the camp, by teaching grading syllabus. despite my repeated emphasis on basic stuff, like remembering the japanese names of the various techniques and breakfalls, the kids weren't able to live up to expectations. kind of saddening. well, at least they all passed.

monday and tuesday were just school. as usual, there's a net inflow of work. thanks to the small amount of study i did on saturday morning, organic looks a little more manageable. guess my friend was right...we have to start revision early to cover everything before the finals. other than that, the other modules are pretty much bleh. next week has the potential to be hectic, since we have a project due. as for my day off today, i went back for CJC/SJI training. taught grading syllabus for a short while, and generally made myself useful. nothing really remarkable.

you know, i think that my teaching method needs some work. maybe it could be because of my tuition kids' dismal results for their common tests. i mean...12/50 and 37.5/100? it sucks, because i think i did a decent job highlighting the important stuff and telling them what to watch out for. something similar is happening when i teach grading syllabus, too. the kid i taught today didn't seem to be able to remember the stuff, despite one-on-one attention. on the other hand, i sort of understand why they can't get it as well. for academics, i'm kind of facing the same problem, because i haven't been studying as hard as i should. for judo, maybe the japanese names are confusing. nevertheless, the point i'm trying to bring across is that it sucks when you (i) spend so much effort to teach, and it doesn't show.

hopefully, this is just a passing emo phase. i do want to blog more about my thoughts and feelings about CJC judo, amongst other things (like my injuries). but not now. it's a cold night, and that means conducive sleeping conditions.

-random thought of the day: Blog more frequently!-

Trying to get surveys done by going door to door has seriously changed my view about the general singapore population. i went through about 64 floors of HDB blocks, and i only got 30% of my surveys done. to put my statement in perspective, i only had 10 surveys to do. of course, i didn't knock on every single door...but i tried for about one per floor. 3 in 64...that's 1 survey done per 21 houses or something. and to think this is just surveys...imagine if i'd been trying to sell something! well...like one of the cat high alumni seniors said, it's good for people to experience rejection sometimes. helps to keep one grounded.

ironically, i found that christian houses were not more inclined to help than other non-religious households. i'm not trying to stir anything up...just reporting facts. i think that it's kind of ironic/sad, because after 12 years of being in various christian/catholic schools, i've gotten the impression that they're supposed to be more willing to help. or maybe they reserve that behaviour solely for church. whatever the case, it's just not encouraging. if i were them, i probably wouldn't display any religious stuff outside my house. better that someone thinks negatively of just me alone than of my entire religion. then again, perhaps it's unfair of me to make this claim. after all, the christians i met today only probably make up 0.0001% of the total christian population in singapore.

other than that, the week has passed by really quickly. taught grading syllabus on monday, had a physics test on tuesday, went for a checkup on wednesday, and the survey today. that about sums up my week so far. nothing that remarkable for monday and tuesday...grading was just grading (though i wasn't sure about some techniques) and the physics test was easy, especially so since i'm a chem major. barring any careless mistakes, i'm optimistically looking at full marks.

yesterday was the first time i went to the health centre in my 3 semesters in NUS. their efficiency was pretty decent...nothing to shout about, though. the doctor ordered a couple of X-rays, and i'm happy to announce that there's no fracture. that means that my injury's just a bad strain. it feels better, thanks in part to the prescribed painkillers. hope i can train (lightly) tomorrow. i'm looking forward to wear my black belt for the first time.

today's been nice and cool throughout. i almost didn't want to leave the house for lecture, and now, i can't wait to get into bed. must enjoy the weather while it lasts.

-random thought of the day: Damned surveys.-

Kind of late/early to be blogging now, but i want to update a little on my injury and other stuff.

true to expectation, visiting the chinese doctor involved lots of needles and pain. my collarbone/neck area looks like it's been attacked by a starving vampire or something similar! i don't feel all that well yet, but i guess it's an improvement from yesterday. range of motion is limited to about 50%, and lying down or getting up hurts like you wouldn't believe. based on my amateur knowledge of sports medicine, i think it's either a very bad strain, or a very minor fracture. i'm kind of worried about the worst-case scenario, because i've never broken/fractured a bone in my life! at any rate, i've decided to call the nice NUS medical people tomorrow to set up an appointment for an x-ray, hopefully within the week.

while at the NUS medical centre, i'm also planning to get my eyes checked.apparently, my aunt told my dad not to let me drive until i got a clean bill of health. i just found out about this interesting development yesterday, since i haven't asked for the car in about 3 weeks. not like it mattered, and it's also not like i can drive now, anyway, what with my injury and all. still, it's for the best, since i THINK that my depth perception may be a little off.

it sucks how connected the human body is! well...not really. what sucks worse is that every new injury is a painful reminder of that. for instance, my left collarbone is the injured area. moving my right arm in certain positions triggers stabs of pain there! in addition to getting up and lying down, looking too far right hurts as well, and don't even get me started on how changing clothes has become a real (painful) chore. not to mention sneezing or yawning. to give you an idea of how bad it is, the stab of pain that i feel as i'm about to sneeze kills the sneezing reflex. makes me wonder how i'll survive the mock job interview tomorrow, as well as lab on tuesday.

other than me being whiny about my injuries, there's not much more to add. well...maybe that i'm due to teach grading syllabus to the NUS people tomorrow. now that my belt colour's darkened, i'm expecting more responsibilities and teaching roles. not that i wasn't capable of teaching as a brown belt, but it's sort of like ranking. black lends credibility to your (my) words. pity that i won't be in gi tomorrow, as wearing a normal shirt is already ridiculously painful. i was so looking forward to putting my black belt on. well, there's always another day for that. now that my booklet's been signed and stamped, i don't suppose that they can demote me unless i commit some major offence. so, there's plenty of time to wear black. just hope that things go smoothly tomorrow, and for the rest of the week as well.

-random thought of the day: Heal faster!!-

Guess where i'm blogging from? i'll give you a hint...the last time i blogged at this particular place was about...2+ years ago, in january 2009. at least that what memory tells me. in the event i'm wrong, i'm actually blogging from my cousin's place, where i'm spending the night. why would i do that on a seemingly random saturday? read on and find out...

for starters, let me just say that this saturday isn't all the random. remember this little thing called black belt grading? well, that was today. to sum it up, it went pretty well. i personally feel that my partner's and my kata were among the top 5 there, if not the top 2. it's not that we're incredibly good or anything...just that everyone else was worse, making us look good. techniques were ok, and they had to test me on 2 of my weaker throws. nevertheless, i did ok, and wasn't asked to repeat anything, unlike a few of the others.

things got a little messed up at sparring. for those who don't know, i'm (self-proclaimed) the weakest senior from my year. bearing that in mind, how do you think i felt when my first opponent was my kata partner? sadly, that match didn't last very long, with predictable results. the second guy i fought was a raffles kid. i don't know how he did it, but he managed to give me a compression injury to the left side of my collarbone. that evens things up nicely...now, both sides of my collarbone have been compressed towards the centre. i was (and still am) feeling quite sore (literally and metaphorically) about it, because i think this injury could have been prevented, by action from either one of us. but well, what's done is done. of course, i hope that i never meet him again, because i'm not quite prepared to forgive just yet.

so, linking back to my first paragraph, that's why i'm staying over at my cousin's place...so that i can go to the nice chinese doctor again tomorrow (i've been giving them a lot of business recently) to get the injury looked over. i hope it's one of those things that can be fixed with massage and needles (preferably not, but have to if no choice). more importantly, i hope it can be fixed quickly. i need my mobility! right now, it hurts to raise my left arm to and beyond shoulder level. just imagine how many profanities i used when showering. hopefully, this won't affect my sleeping position much.

now that it's past 12:00am (and hence, sunday), i can officially wear my black belt! not that i'll be doing it soon, though...the earliest is probably wednesday, when/if i go for CJC training. next date after that is friday/saturday, over the grading camp. for now, it's bedtime for me. have to be up early tomorrow to (hopefully) get things cracked into place.

-random thought of the day: Musn't get too attached to juniors...-

Blogging time! figured that i'd get an early start on it, so that i have more free time over the next couple of days for lab reports and tuition, amongst other things. like i've mentioned before, i'm determined to blog deeper, and this post will not be published until i've said everything i want to say — even if it takes forever! a couple of days.

starting with the most recent happenings, we went down for coaching today, only for the school not to show up. an hour of waiting and a couple of phone calls later, we established that the teacher put the wrong date in the training schedule which she sent out. nevertheless, the centre is still charging the school, since the lanes were already blocked off. and since the centre's charging, the coaches are charging as well. do you know what this means? free money! while i do feel kind of bad for the teacher, the decision on whether or not to charge the school wasn't made by me. i'm just following along.

before coaching, i went to see the chinese doctor to get my toe fixed. the process involved a lot of cracking, a fair amount of pressure, and a few needles. while i still don't have the full range of motion, at least it's now better as compared to pre-treatment. i think i'll have to let it repair itself naturally a bit more before i can return to strenuous activity. worst case is that i go for a follow-up next week, to get everything stretched out or something. as it is, i'm kind of optimistic that it'll be ok in time for grading without any further human intervention.

while at the chinese doctor, i told them that i iced the sprain, as is common advice from western medicine. it makes sense from a scientific point of view too, because we all know that cold makes things contract. oddly enough, chinese medicine says that icing the sprain is bad, as it introduces some funny (bad) thing into the body. conflicting views...and i don't know which side to believe. as a scientist, i am forced to agree that the western idea is not wrong. but having experienced limited success with icing and getting several other injuries treated (with significantly better results) by chinese medicine, i can't ignore its effectiveness either. well, the chinese have had a longer history...i mean, a civilization doesn't survive for 5000+ years and counting if their medical practices are lousy, right? actually, i don't really care who's right or wrong. i just care about which one works better for me. in this case, it's chinese medicine, so that gets my vote.

mid-way through getting treated, the massage therapist pulled on my injured toe, making it crack. i don't get how they do it! i've been trying to do just that at home, but it never worked. i suspect that it's because unlike myself, the therapist is able to put his whole weight into moving the joint properly, while for obvious reasons, i'm not. of course, there's also how the doctor knows how to crack other things (such as backs) out. wish i could learn how to do that.

remember how i was mildly unhappy about how the embroidery looked on my black belt? after treatment, i had one of those rare brainwave moments and remembered that fact, as well as that spotlight at plaza singapura sells all kinds of sewing supplies (i discovered that while on an outing with the judo kids a while back). since i was about 7 MRT stops away from dhoby ghaut, i decided to go down and try my luck. lucky for me, this was one of those pretty uncommon days where things worked out in my favour. i found silver thread that (based on memory) i thought matched the one on my belt pretty well. for once, my memory served, and i managed to get the correct colour. now, my belt looks that much better, and i'm happier as an added bonus.

not going to plaza singapura for something like 4+ to 5 months has made me unaware of the radical changes that have taken place there. the layout is recognizable, but the shops have changed quite drastically. for instance, there's now a nando's there, as well as a sushi place (which i'm quite keen to try). a shop selling magic tricks, gags and novelty items has set up, well, shop, just opposite to the nando's. i spent a fair bit of time browsing through the stuff they had on sale, but ended up not buying anything. i'll probably go back and make some purchases...certain things have caught my eye. only thing is when. maybe after finals?

-Continued on Wednesday, 09 March 2011-

my mid-terms are over! well, the NUS ones, at least. i'm considering grading as my judo mid-term. out of my 3 core modules, i feel not-good about practically everything. so far, the lecturers have discussed some answers in class, and their suggested answers don't really tally with mine. kind of sucks, but i'd be lying if i said that i studied really hard for the mid-terms (with the exception of judo, which i put a lot of effort into). well, we'll see how bad things look. at this point, salvation is still possible.

tuition has been om my mind for the past month or so, but i just haven't found the appropriate conditions to blog about it yet. my experience thus far this year has led me to wonder whether i've been making a difference in my tuition kids' understanding of the subject. in particular, RJC girl doesn't seem to remember what she's learnt last year. can't exactly blame her, though...she has to divide her attention between 5 subjects, and chem is lower priority since it's H1. no major worry yet, though, since we still have about 7 months before the A-levels.

as for that RGS sec 1 kid, i've decided to stop tuition with her. i realize that we're not communicating effectively with each other. maybe she's not ready for higher-level ideas, or i'm not simplifying them enough. whatever the case, if a student can be disinterested enough to doodle while i'm explaining stuff, that's a clear sign that something's not right/effective. another fact that (i feel) justifies my decision is that she's not catching the concepts the way they should be caught. i've done my best to make her understand, and she says she doesn't have questions. but when i change the question a little, maybe by modifying the mole ratios, she just copies the solution to the previous question and pastes it wholesale to answer the new question. therefore, maybe 2 years later, but definitely not now.

i've also taken on a new CJC kid, from judo once again. she's kind of...air-headed (only a VERY little bit), but i can tolerate that. she's also inquisitive, and tends to ask "why" a lot...which is good. i almost feel bad telling her that the answers to some of her questions are too complicated for her at her current level. at least she's willing to accept that, so that's a relief. as an added bonus, i may end up tutoring her sister as well. that's still in the works, so we'll wait and see.

cats seem to avoid me. i've noticed that even the normally-friendly NUS cats seem to be on guard when i walk by. why, i wonder? not like it affects me all that much (i'm more of a dog person), but i'd at least like to know if it's something i did, or just something about me. maybe they're picking up that i like dogs better...i don't know.

black belt grading is now something like 2.5 days away. i was feeling the pressure initially, but after a kata run with my partner today, i'm feeling much more relieved. turns out that we still managed to pull it off reasonably well even after 2 weeks of non-practice. guess the visualization techniques worked! still need some fine-tuning (as always), but we're mostly good to go. of course, we have to work on our syllabus as well. just that my bum toe is making our kata look less good. bleh.

speaking of black belts, i'd previously posted that there was an error in the embroidery of my friend's name. the nice lady was deeply apologetic, and shipped out a replacement. sad thing is, it's been about 5 days, and i haven't received it yet. this is in contrast to the first shipment, where i received it about 2 days after shipping. i'm curious about the discrepancy, too. maybe last time was an example of excellent service, and this time is just normal. guess the good service i received the first time kind of spoiled me. anyway, i'm not too worried just yet, since the email did state that i was supposed to expect delivery within 4 to 6 days, and only make a fuss after 10 days. something tells me it'll arrive tomorrow. i can just feel it. let's hope i'm right.

you know, i can't really focus on much else other than the grading. that's #1 in my mind right now. thankfully, friday's a free-ish day, so i can mentally prepare/settle myself. tomorrow's packed, but at least i have friends to suffer with me. have to see the chinese doctor again on friday morning, in case he can magically heal my foot, or at least make the pain bearable for the grading. before all that, though, i have to be in school at 7:25am tomorrow for a feedback session about my ES peer teaching. looks like someone won't get much sleep tonight...but hey — i finished blogging! seems like a worthwhile trade to me now, but i'll most likely be kicking myself over it tomorrow.

-random thought of the day: 100% focus on schoolwork after the grading. Promise.-

A mathematical function that describes my week thus far would have to be a y=sin(x). in layman's terms, what i'm trying to say is that there have been ups and downs this week...unfortunately with more downs than ups.

monday was a really horrible day. first, i got killed by the organic mid-term. the worst thing is, it was doable. just that i kind of panicked at the second question, which asked for a synthesis route. i spent quite a while thinking about it mechanistically, which is too in-depth for that question. at any rate, i'd be happy with a pass. sad thing is, a pass in my (prospective) area of expertise is not good enough. like i was telling my friends, i probably have to get to know clayden very well, very quickly.

i also went down to east coast to see the chinese doctor to get something done about the toe. i came to the conclusion that it wouldn't heal in time for the grading if i let it heal naturally. going down to east coast proved to be a waste of time, as the doctors had gone home by the time i arrived. the receptionist told me that they closed at 7:00pm. that got me really angry, since the name card i had said that they closed at 7:30pm. had i known about their revised opening hours, i wouldn't even have bothered to rush down that day after classes, since i definitely wouldn't make it in time. i wonder — who was in the wrong? them for not actively updating their patients about the new hours, or me for not calling ahead?

after several minutes of fuming and calming myself down, i got past that and arranged for an appointment on friday morning. my plan was to see them on wednesday (today) because i was off from school. as luck would have it, they thought that a day off in the middle of the week would be nice as well. hence, friday was my next-soonest option. at that point, it looked quite far away. but now that it's already wednesday, friday seems a lot closer. well...the sooner the better. i really want to be in top (or at least close to top) form for grading. at least the time wasn't completely wasted...i figured out a shorter way from bishan to to east coast, which should save me a bit of time on friday.

lab class yesterday was...normal, i suppose. i added too much solvent to my reaction flask, causing low product yields at first. as a result, i stayed back late to squeeze all the product i possibly could from my reaction mixture. good thing i had a good TA who was willing to stay back late with me, and who even offered alternative methods to try and force my product out. all in all, i got about 50%, which is similar to what the others got. so that's a relief.

today was kind of normal as well, but a bit more on the positive side. got some studying done for analytical. SOME. it's kind of funny how the textbook and notes make sense when i'm reading them, but i still can't do the questions properly. too bad that the JC method doesn't work all the time any more. in addition, i went down to hwa chong to collect my partner's new gi and to hand in my grading application form to the coach. i like getting errands done. makes me feel productive. my partner and i were set to go down to CJC to brush up on our techniques, but turns out they had cross-country today, so there was no training. lucky the notice came early, so i was able to not waste my time by going down, and get in a tiny bit more of studying.

why have i been studying today? well, there are nasty things called mid-terms tomorrow. inorganic and analytical back-to-back, to be exact. i haven't really studied much for inorganic, and analytical is not much better, as the last paragraph shows. looks like it's time for another one of my power naps and early-morning study sessions. just hope that it goes better than monday's did.

i swear, i just can't seem to find the energy to go any deeper than recounting my experiences over the past X number of days, and even doing that completely is difficult sometimes. looks like i have to set aside some dedicated blogging time...probably during the weekend after all my tests and whatnot have passed. on second thought, make that a promise. i WILL do some in-depth blogging this weekend. can't let all the deeper stuff accumulate for too long, after all.

-random thought of the day: Why is it that you can never find the thing you need when you need it?-

In the world of emoticons, i was equals sign capital d.

that's a quote from the big bang theory, by everyone's favourite socially-inept genius physicist. ok, the original quote used "colon capital d", but i like equals signs better for my emoticons' eyes. colons are too...small. i don't want my eyes to be beady.

but anyway, the reason for my happiness is that the black belts arrived yesterday! guess singapore's postal system is more efficient than i gave it credit for. i'm rather happy with my belt (pictures will come up after i take the grading and pass). it looks nice, if i do say so myself. there's a little issue with the embroidery, though...the bottom part of the "lee" character looks kind of broken off from the rest. but still, it's not that visible unless you look at it up close. guess that's the risk of using silver...less-than-perfect workmanship shows up more easily/clearly. then again, it's probably just me nitpicking. however, the real issue is with my friend's belt. one of the characters in his name got screwed up. worse still, the mistake is quite obvious. i've written to the nice lady who coordinated the order, and i'm hoping that she'll respond soon. after all, returning the belt and waiting for a new one to be made/shipped could take a while.

to update about other matters, i'm kind of screwed on several levels. the most pressing issue is my organic mid-term tomorrow. guess who hasn't really studied? as a result, i'll probably catch a few-hour power nap later on, and study for most of the early morning before going to school. it's not actually as bad as it seems, because i have a very rough idea of what's going to be tested. after all, the professor's only been talking about a couple of reactions for the first half of the semester. i just hope he doesn't ask any funny, specific reactions, like mukaiyama or robinson. remembering the names is a chore.

next up is probably my other mid-terms, which i (also) have not begun to study for. that's not as bad, since they're set for thursday. and since my wednesday is free (and CJC stopped training for a bit), i can use it to prepare. it's the analytical the worries me. so far, i've been pretty solid for inorganic, which is good. just hope i don't get complacent.

after that is the ES module. there are so many deadlines and stuff that it makes my head spin. not to mention we have a pretty tight timeframe of 5 weeks for the project. damned module. the only thing that keeps me going for it is the thought of one less final exam to take this semester. well...i think i'll survive.

last thing on my mind for now...my toe. i've regained about 90% range of motion for most daily life applications, which is good. unfortunately, it's not good enough, because i need about 150% of my current range of motion for the grading, which is in about 13 days' time. it's either my toe gets well enough for grading, or i learn to accept/tolerate the pain. as a last resort, i'll go and see the nice chinese doctor this friday if the improvement isn't significant enough between now and then. meanwhile, more ice and rest, i guess, though rest will be difficult with lab on tuesday.

well...i'm feeling kind of tired. must have been because of tuition, and also because i got more work done today than from the past monday to thursday combined. i want to blog about tuition (i've been putting it off for a while), as well as about some other happenings in my life, but not at the moment. it's power nap time.

-random thought of the day: Must wake up on time!-

"Unexpected expenditure" seems to be my theme for the month. first, there was the $3200 bomb, and just yesterday, my computer died. i managed to call in an SOS from my boss, who drove my computer and i down to funan for a professional diagnosis. turns out the power supply unit was screwed up or something. while i was there, i also got a new graphics card and monitor. my old graphics card was causing frequent hangs (in fact, the computer died after one such hang), and the monitor was bought to get more out of the graphics card. total damage comes up to about...$700. so much for saving, huh? well...it was a sooner or later thing i guess, so might as well get it done sooner than later.

of all the times for my computer to die, it had to die during recess week, when i had a lot of work to do. but on the flipside, i suppose it could have been worse...like during reading week or when all my deadlines were converging. all things considered (including the fact that i got it fixed within the day), it wasn't that bad after all.

as you might have guessed, this week is (was) recess week. "was" because it's practically over. as is typical of recess weeks, i barely got any work done. just wrote up a lab report and looked at a few tutorials. not nearly enough, in my opinion. have to spend tomorrow and sunday catching up on organic...that's my main priority at the moment as mid-terms are on this coming monday. that, and rewriting my application letter and resume for my ES module, which is due for a monday submission as well. however, it's kind of difficult to focus on those things when...

...grading's TWO WEEKS AWAY!! what's worse, my sprained toe isn't healing as fast as i'd like it to. the range of motion's improved, and the pain's reduced, but i still can't bend it as much as i need to for one of the throws. this...disadvantage may cause a 1- to 3-point deduction from my score. in mild desperation, i'm taping my toe/foot up, tighter towards the extreme ends, looser towards the heart. wikipedia says that that helps the fluid to flow back to where it's supposed to be. call it the placebo effect, but i think it's working. just hope that this taping thing and more ice therapy can help me to regain the full range of motion, and completely eliminate the pain in a week's time. i still have to brush up on the kata forms before grading. missing 2 saturday sessions has caused my form to oxidize (or rust, for the non-chemically inclined).

while i'm scared close to death about grading, i am also ridiculously excited. reason being that my friend's and my black belts are ready!! according to the tracking information (yes, i'll admit it...i'm a belt-stalker), they're preparing to leave japan now, which means they should be arriving in singapore within the next week or so. the anticipation is KILLING ME, can!? i think the psychological impact of actually holding a black belt with my name on it will help me to overcome the sprain a little faster. i'll try it when it gets here.

tomorrow is dedicated to work for me. have to finish my lab report, rewrite my application letter/resume, and study for my organic mid-term. there are 2 tuition appointments set for sunday, which will keep me out of the house for about half of the day. then, it's back to organic, and then on to analytical if i have spare time. not likely, but here's hoping. right now, i think i should call it an early night so that i'll have energy for tomorrow.

-random thought of the day: Half the semester is gone...-

Limping around sucks. i think it's my lack of a bio background (particularly anatomy) that has me disadvantaged when it comes to injuries. the main reason i say that is because more often than not, i take simple movements for granted. things like typing, walking, lying down...to name a few simple actions that i do practically every day. when i get injured seriously enough (most commonly due to sprains and/or strains), performing these little motions takes "annoying" to a whole new level. almost makes me wish i'd done a physio minor or something like that.

the reason i'm blogging about injuries is, of course, my sprained toe. it's been iced on and off for the past 2 days, and i'm hoping that it recovers within the week. from the looks of things, i probably won't be able to train on wednesday. given that, i'm hoping that i recover by this coming friday or saturday. but that's just an optimistic forecast. i have another 3 weeks until grading, so any time before 12 march would be good, though i'd like at least a week's leeway to recap the kata and go through techniques. well...take things as they come, i guess.

in turn, the reason i even have the injury is because of the accident. my dad managed to work some insurance magic and the claim's been filed. now, we have to pay a maximum of $3200 before the insurance takes care of the rest. here's the thing that kills me. my dad told me that if he was the one who caused the accident, the maximum payable sum by us would have been $600. the fact that i'm not the registered owner of the car doubles that, and another $2000 is added based on my (lack of) driving experience. how much does that suck!!? due to these factors, the sum increased by 16/3 times. this is what i'd term as unexpected, unnecessary expenditure. but $3200 sounds better than the alternatives of (1) having my license revoked, (2) injuring someone, or (3) even worse. looks like my earnings for the next 15 to 20 weeks or so are completely gone. better work out an installment plan with my dad.

ok. enough talking about the accident. don't want to accumulate too much negativity. let's talk about some good stuff, like how i got several calls made today. calling the HDB to ask for someone to interview didn't yield very significant results...i was told to email my query to a generic address instead. despite that, it's progress. the SBF people, on the other hand, were slightly more helpful. i told them about my predicament (having the dates of the NCAP course coincide with some of my finals' dates), and they told me to write an email as well, but with the promise of a follow-up, which the HDB did not give.

for the start of recess week, things are progressing slowly, as they should be. over the next 6 days, i have to get a fair bit of studying done, along with my first organic chem lab report, and lots of research for my ES module. work aside, i hope that i can make it down to CJC to at least advise the brown belt kids on their kata. i have a feeling that they won't be ready in time for the march grading, but who knows? miracles may just happen.

-random thought of the day: Must acquaint self with Clayden tomorrow.-

There's a big pink elephant sitting in my mind, and i have to address it before i can think of anything else. as much as i wish it wasn't true, i was involved in an accident today. it was more serious than the one before, and both vehicles were damaged pretty badly. fortunately for me, (1) nobody was hurt (i sustained a sprained toe, but it's a minor thing), (2) everyone was nice and understanding about it, (3) nothing's going to happen to my license. it felt (and actually still feels) kind of surreal. of course, i feel horrible because the car will be in the shop for the next week or so, and that means greater inconvenience, particularly for my dad...not to mention the jacked-up insurance premiums now that a claim will have to be made.

it's things like these that snap your perspective into its proper place. even though my mind sort of blanked out for the few seconds of the collision, i do remember a great many thoughts rushing by in that time. i don't know. honestly, i still feel pretty shaken up. it's just so...unexpected. i think that i'm a pretty safe driver, just that i was rushing. live and learn...though i wish the lesson was less expensive. still, the most important thing was that nobody was injured. i don't think that i could live with myself if i was responsible for someone's death or incapacitation. one of the other people involved said that we were blessed by an angel. while i do kind of agree, i just wish that the angel had prevented the accident in the first place. well, at any rate, this effectively means that i won't be asking for a car of my own for the next couple of years at least.

now that that's off my chest (for now), i can move on to other things, like judo. today's consultation with the NUS coach has boosted my confidence a lot. he seems to think that we're doing ok, so go us, i guess. grading's in 3 weeks, so since the kata appears good, we'll focus less on that and more on the techniques. i just want to pass...that shouldn't be too hard, right?

i've seen a few potential J1 and sec 1 judo kids. the sec 1s are LOUD!! i don't remember last year's sec 1s being this loud. then again we have something like 10 sec 1s this year compared to last year's 6 or 7. as for the J1s, there are 22 in already with a third trials session for even more. hopefully all of them stay, though i doubt that'll be the case.

2 of my tuition kids have cancelled on me tomorrow, so i'm left with seeing just one. that's kind of a nice coincidence, because i really don't feel like walking too much with the sprained toe. i just hope that everything turns out better.

-random thought of the day: Good timing...next week's recess week.-

People (including myself) haven't been blogging that much as of late. while i can't speak for my friends and some of the people i follow, i just haven't had the time. deadlines, training, and other assorted commitments have been making it difficult to set aside blogging time. and all those things don't really get me into the blogging mood, either. long story short, it's been hectic.

over the past week, there have been quite a lot of things going on. i'll try to get everything out of my system in this post, so that i have sufficient memory space for other things. let's start with tuition. sec 1 RGS girl has moved to toa payoh, which means that i don't have to go all the way to tampines any more. relief. i was kind of shocked when my dad gave me the new address, because it said "#35-house number". going to the place proved even more stunning, because the highest floor was actually the 40th storey. being the mountain turtle that i occasionally am, i went all the way up to take in the sights. it was...breath-taking. there's this sense of wonder when you're looking down from a very very high place. not forgetting the insane (and quite irrational) fear of falling, either.

as for the tuition itself, i think i may be going a little too quickly. it's been around a month, and i'm already talking about salt preparation! of course, earlier topics like mole calculations and atomic structure are (relatively more) brainless, so i expect that we'll slow down for future topics. but she's the least of my worries right now. after all, she has the next 2 years or so to fully absorb what i'm teaching.

RJC girl seems to be stuck at a roadblock with organic chem. for some reason, she's having trouble remembering reagents and conditions. at A-level, those are reasonably easy, so i personally don't really see the problem. guess i have to keep repeating them again and again until they sink in.

judo is stressing me out to some degree. as you know, grading's in something like 3 weeks(!) and i still feel more unprepared than i should be feeling. worst thing is that the MPSHs at NUS will probably be closed from recess week onwards due to mid-terms, so that's our practice venue gone. well, i'm sure that we can find alternatives. i do intend to go on a recce trip to get a feel for the SJF dojo, because that's where the grading will be held. would be good to know the battleground. as a minor related point, i've ordered black belts already! the reason that there's a plural on the word "belts" is because my partner decided to throw his order in with mine. we both probably save on shipping costs. i know i'll scream at the wallet damage when they do get here, but i'm really quite excited about it. i just wonder whether i should have picked sky blue embroidery over silver...

recess week is approaching! well, it's technically already here for me, since my nice physics lecturer cancelled lecture (again!) tomorrow. i'll still be in school, though, as i have to collect a book from my friend (who was nice enough to agree to lend it to me for the semester), return my library books and possibly borrow new ones, and attend a project meeting for my ES module. the events aren't packed close together enough to be considered rushed, but they're not far apart enough to be considered leisurely. all's well, i suppose. then, i'm going down to CJC to (1) teach some of the J2s (and a senior) what little of the nage no kata i know, and (2) help out in the J1 trials. should be a fun day.

during recess week, i hope to catch up with my studies. at the moment, i'm most worried for organic and analytical. it's not so bad for organic, because i have a faint clue about what the professor is talking about...i just need more exposure. as for analytical, all of us had this to say after today's lecture:


take your pick between mr. bean or captain picard. whichever one you choose, the message speaks for itself. i don't know whether the lecturer's screwed up, or he thinks that we know more than we actually do, or whether it's out fault that we know less than we actually should. suffice to say i'm not too optimistic for the module.

this past week, i've been going to school pretty early every day. every time i see the people getting off the MRT at bishan, i can't help but think of a clown car...you know, the one into which an impossibly large number of clowns can squeeze. and whenever that image comes to mind, i can't help but smile rather insanely, which might make the people around me nervous...i don't know. it's still funny, though.

last thought — i've been watching sumo on youtube. while i don't aspire to be at the wrestlers' size, i can't help but admire their power and strength. those leg lifts aren't easy to do. i also can't imagine remaining in that semi-squat position for as long as they do. it's quite perplexing, actually. i read that some sumo wrestlers were skinny when they were young. makes me wonder why they're willing to put on that much weight, when i'm close to desperate to lose weight. maybe it's a culture difference?

-random thought of the day: Weird dreams again...this time, my partner came to grading while drunk.-

Busy, busy...so many things to do, so little time. and yet, the week feels like it's gone on forever! ironic much? if memory serves, i'm staring at about 5 deadlines just within the next 4 days. all this rushing of work has left me with too little time to study, let alone exercise. that's bad, considering the updates i received about grading (which i will elaborate on later).

tuesday was normal. missed my analytical chem tutorial (i got up late again, and decided "to hell with it" after remembering the negativity of monday's surprise test). still, i got to school on time for my lab session, which ended really early. seems like my lab partners know what they're doing. haven't processed the data yet, but it looks promising. slacked around for a few hours, then went for the physics test. to be honest, it was the easiest (semi-major) test i'd ever sat for in NUS. i don't mean to brag, but i think i can get close to full marks for it (careless mistakes and all that notwithstanding), which means that i've probably secured around 20% of my grade! only downer is that my pen kept dying intermittently throughout the test, and some words have that twice-written look. bleh. well, at least the words were legible, and they don't mark by impression (i think/hope).

now, about the grading. good thing my partner and i went for wednesday's training, because the coach gave us some new information. for instance, the date's been shifted down a week to 12 march. the format's somewhat different too. there's the standard kata item, so no surprise there. they're also going to test us on selected throws and holds...6 standing techniques and 6 ground techniques out of the entire syllabus of 67 and 29 standing and ground techniques respectively. in addition, there are combination attacks, transitions, and defense, as well as this other compulsory item called "around the world", which involves one person moving around the other's body, executing 10 different holds in the process. lastly, there's the sparring — each person has about 4 bouts. compared to previous requirements, this is one level up! my confidence has been shaken...the (self-appraised) chance of me passing has dropped from 80% to about 55%. not good odds. nevertheless, i'm still going to place my black belt order tomorrow. spending the $126 should increase my motivation somewhat.

yesterday was the cat high alumni CNY dinner. seems like something will always get to me during these dinners. this year, it was one of my seniors, who said something which i feel was uncalled for. it's a CNY dinner...can't people learn to be more sensitive and not say upsetting things? what made it worse was that i'd rushed down after a long day of school. certainly not the welcome i was hoping for. i would have minded less (or even not minded at all) if he had said it after the dinner...but well, that didn't happen. so, i've decided not to go for these dinners as long as that senior is present. reduces the risk of me being irrational and doing something that i would regret in future.

fatigue is catching up to me. there are many other things i'd like to blog about, but i can't bring myself to write much more. perhaps another day, when i'm more well-rested.

-random thought of the day: Must complete lesson plan!-

Short post today, because i'm getting tired and it's getting late.

i think lady luck and/or uncle murphy was looking out for me today. for starters, i woke up at 8:00am when i had a 9:00am class. mostly my fault for sleeping at about 1:00am, but anyway...showered and got out of the house by 8:20am, and got a taxi at around 8:30am. to my great surprise and delight, lornie/adam/farrer roads and the AYE weren't jammed! my best guess is that people are taking an additional day off after CNY, so traffic generally flowed more smoothly today. whatever the cause, i'm happy because it saved me a fair bit of $$, considering the peak hour surcharge was on.

physics tutorial, communication, organic, and inorganic all passed relatively smoothly. organic is...i don't know. i get the impression that the professor is giving up. can't really blame him, since the people at the back don't seem to pay him much heed. well, i just wish something would happen to make lectures more productive, like him kicking those people out of the LT. as for inorganic, we got our second surprise quiz back. 10/10! go me. it was do-able, though there was some confusion regarding the instructions. i find it ironic that the lecturer wants to play english with us, especially since her own standard of english could be improved. come on...who pronounces "lobe" as "loob"!?? bleh. still, she's higher up on the academic ladder than i am, and i have to respect that.

analytical is so screwed up that it gets a paragraph to itself. the lecturer gave a surprise quiz today (incidentally, i think the analytical and inorganic lecturers steal each other's ideas). ok, it was an open secret that there would be a test, so that's fine and well. however, i have a problem with the standard of the quiz. 20 marks in 20 minutes is reasonable, except when the data given is incomplete, and the questions generally require 5 minutes or so each to understand. i know i'm being blunt, and i may apologize for it later. but right now, i feel that he's not good enough as a lecturer for any of us to score well for a quiz of this standard. oh well. at this point in time, there are no prizes for guessing who's going to get my worst review of the semester.

judo training with the NUS team after that served as a reminder of how unfit i am. and it sucks to realize that. i could also improve on my technique. guess i'll have to work harder at it. but work (such as my analytical chem tutorial) can be pushed off for now. i need sleep.

-random thought of the day: Vice-captain, or some other position?-

Rabbits are somehow able to control the weather! i've been led to believe that since it hasn't rained over the entire CNY period. but random observation and linking aside, the festivities are over, and life is returning to normal quite rapidly...perhaps a little too much so.

so far, this CNY has been the best one (both financially and familial-ly) since i got out of army. i started keeping records of my red packet earnings in 2009, and it's been a nice reference for subsequent years. this year, my total CNY income (cash and gifts inclusive — more to come on the gifts part) is an estimated $1260! like whoa, can!? it's the first time in my life i've got a 4-digit sum. maybe it's because some relatives know that i'm not asking for an allowance any more. of course, a significant part of it (practically 90%) came from my parents and a combined red packet from an aunt and uncle, so that's not really saying much, come to think of it. i notice that immediate family and close relatives tend to give more than "hi-bye" relatives. nothing surprising about that, considering what philosophy has taught me about circles and grids. besides, my parents are "hi-bye" relatives to our "hi-bye" relatives as well, so it sort of evens out in the end.

days 1 and 2 were spent visiting and being visited, collecting $$...you know, usual stuff. the third day was a little more interesting, as both my cousin's and my family went out for dinner. we went to this place in raffles city. i don't know the exact name, but there's a "grandma" in there somewhere. the stuff they serve is basically local fare at jacked-up prices. but all things considered (food quality/taste, location, service), i suppose it was all right. personally, i would have preferred sushi tei one floor up, though. nevertheless, i wasn't the star of the night, so i just followed along. there'll be other opportunities for japanese food, i'm sure.

after dinner, one of my cousins went to buy bubble tea while the rest of us walked around. passing by the nearby crumpler store, i casually remarked to my cousin that i could use a new training bag, since my old fila one is torn, has a faulty zip, and is generally in poor condition. my uncle happened to overhear what i said, and before i knew it, we were inside looking at potential replacements. i ended up getting a pretty big bag (fully paid for by my uncle) which can definitely hold everything i need for a typical training session or even a training camp (and still have room to spare even then!). in hindsight after the purchase, it seems a little too big for everyday school use. my size judgement is probably messed up. nevertheless, i'd rather have too much space than too little. worst case is i can fall back on my regular school bag if need be. but all the same, i'm going to make good use of this new bag. it's not often that things just fall into my lap like that. and of course, i'm insanely grateful. while i do like to use my own money to buy the things i need, i'm definitely not against the idea of someone buying me something that i want.

before the dinner, i was at kata practice. yes, we trained despite it being the third day of the new year. my partner and i are improving, but we're still not at as high a level as i'd like us to be. well...as long as we get there before the grading (which may be postponed). to increase our training frequency, we're meeting up at CJC as well, to take advantage of the available free space. only about slightly more than 3 weeks to grading...must make sure we're up to par by then. not forgetting that i'm most probably due to show my kata to the NUS coach in 13 days. horrors. well...have to pull something off somehow. must have faith.

one thing i forgot to blog about previously was that i was asked to assume an exco position (the signs seem to hint strongly at a captain/vice-captain appointment) in NUS judo. personally, i don't think it's because of my fitness, charm, or charisma. if i had to put it bluntly, i'd say it's a matter of convenience/lack of choice. you see, there are very few people in NUS judo who both hold a comparatively high belt rank and are eligible for captaincy. off the top of my head, i can only think of one of my friends (black belt) and myself. see why i said it was more convenience than anything? as for why a high belt rank is preferred, it's because that gives a better impression, not to mention a higher belt rank will probably have better technical knowledge. come on...would you trust a white belt captain? maybe yes at JC level, but not higher.

anyway, i promised to give the matter some serious thought, and i have. problem is that i haven't reached a conclusion yet. while a captain position would boost my resume some, there are several negative aspects as well. things like admin work, being there for every session, leading by example, and all other related stuff. what's worse is, i know i'm not the best player on the team, nor an i the most knowledgeable. seems like picking me for captain would be like settling for second-best. what's more, that's just reasons from within the CCA. let's not forget about academics and CAP. maybe i'll take up a more behind-the-scenes role...like vice-captain or some other low-key position. there's still something like months before i have to express my intent (if any) so i can sleep on this for a while.

it's getting late, and i have to pack my stuff into my nice new bag. overall, CNY was good, though i haven't caught up with work nearly as much as i'd like. well...that's what free periods and off-days are for, i guess. better make the most out of them too; reading through the organic tutorial has left me in serious doubt of my knowledge. and speaking of organic, i'll blog about tuition soon. not tonight though...have to sleep soon.

-random thought of the day: Stressed again.-

Meeting my cousin for dinner on tuesday night was an interesting experience. we went to hotpot culture at marina square. i thought it was decent, but he said that it used to be way better. never having eaten there before prior to that night, i'll take his word for it. but considering it was my first time there, i thought well enough of it, and i suppose that's what's important.

our dinner conversation spanned a wide range of topics, as it tends to do at this sort of meet-ups. it was nice talking to him, and generally catching up on what's been going on for the last half a year or more. definitely made up for my horrible monday, which i'll talk about soon. somehow, i enjoy conversations with this particular cousin more than most other family members. must be because we spent about 15 years' worth of school holidays together, or because we share the same 4 grandparents. as i found out from a bit of reading from wikipedia, that actually makes us half-brothers, which is kind of cool. but yes...for one reason or another, we click really well.

before talking about reunion dinner (which took place a few hours ago), i'll just digress to my horrible monday. for starters, it was raining. light enough to not warrant taking a taxi to school, but heavy enough to make walking through it quite unenjoyable. to make things worse, one idiotic car drove though a puddle while i was waiting to cross the road, creating a spray which left me wet(ter) and positively hopping mad. trust me, you have no idea how many murderous thoughts ran through my mind! thankfully, i managed to dry off a little during the train journey, leaving me with slightly damp pants (my shirt was dry-fit, so it dried off completely) for practically the whole day.

luckily, i caught a break in school, as lessons went by smoothly. everyone (except me) was anticipating that the analytical lecturer would give a surprise quiz, but he didn't. that worked out quite well for me, considering (1) i didn't study or prepare for it, and (2) i didn't bring my calculator. so...yes. lucky, lucky me.

went for judo training after school. either someone forgot to publicize the training, or the other judo kids were too busy, because there were only 5 people (and 1 coach) there initially. 2 more came a little later, so that's a grand total of 7 students. while it's good because we got more of the coach's attention, it was not-so-good for precisely the same reason. no opportunity to slack! but well, i can't slack too much anyway. monday's training reminded me how poor my stamina is. have to keep pushing onward towards march.

one interesting bit of news i heard was that the grading may not be on the first saturday of march after all. you see, SJF is sending a team for some event/competition in hong kong, and they'll be away during that particular saturday. chances are that a few black belt hopefuls will be amongst the people going for the hong kong trip. so, i don't know. the most viable options would be either to push the grading back, or conduct a separate grading for those in hong kong. have to see how things go. can't anticipate too much.

also, i've received word that i'll have to demonstrate my kata for the NUS coach. it's perfectly reasonable and understandable for him to make this request, as he has to determine my state of readiness before he gives his blessing for me to grade under NUS. we haven't set a concrete date yet, but it'll more likely than not be set for a saturday, unless my partner is free to come down to NUS in time on training days. i'm thinking of setting it on the 19th of the month, since one other person won't be able to make it for kata practice. once again, we'll see how.

after judo training, my intention was to catch the BTC bus out of kent ridge, then take 156 home as per normal. previously, i'd read that the bus's last trip was at 10:00pm. arriving at the bus stop at 9:45pm should give me ample time to wait for the bus, right? what i DIDN'T realize was that the 10:00pm last trip referred to the bus going from BTC to kent ridge (ie. the other/wrong way), so i was effectively stranded at NUS. by the time i found out about that, it was already too late. had to ask my dad to pick me up from school. ended up reaching home after 12:00am...not something i want to do all that often. at least i managed to get my inorganic tutorial done while waiting. of course, being tired and not in the best of moods after the morning's incident, my thoughts began to go astray. it blew my want for/of a car out of proportion, because with a car, i would never be stuck in that type of situation...or so my logic went at that time. while it's not wrong, it's also making a mountain out of a molehill. after all, how often do i get stuck like that?

tuesday wasn't very eventful. had a 1-hour inorganic tutorial in the morning from 9:00am to 10:00am, and spent the next 5 hours or so holed up in the library writing my lab report. then went to check on my school fees, before heading home and out again to meet my cousin for the hotpot dinner mentioned above. it wasn't until i was on the way home (at about 5:45pm) then i realized that i forgot to call the SBF to find out more about their level 1 practical course. bleh. guess i'll leave that till after the new year holiday.

as for the reunion dinner, it was pretty standard stuff. went to that same cousin's place, where we ate, played this interesting card game called "saboteur", had fun, and generally relaxed. some other cousins and an aunt were present as well, which was nice as i don't usually see them throughout the year.

POSB gave me a nice CNY present in the mail! it's a shiny new debit card called the multitude card, and it doubles up as an ATM card as well. apparently, the previous orange debit card is being phased out, hence the replacement. there was an option for an additional $500 credit limit, but i decided not to go for it as i didn't want to give myself a source of temptation. besides, i don't think i'll be blowing all the money in my account at one shot, so i most probably won't ever need the extra $500 leeway. now, all i have to do is sign on the back of the new card and it'll be ready for use. problem is, i'm thinking of updating my signature. why is that a problem? because i don't know how i can change my signature. well...i'll sit on it for another couple of days. i'll sign the new card when i go to the bank to cancel my blue ATM card. that'll free up a card slot in my wallet for something else...perhaps my matric card or driver's license? i'll decide later.

right now, it's slightly past 4:00am, which means this post has taken about 160 minutes to write (with breaks in between). i figure that i've stayed up long enough, and should go to sleep. after all, there'll be the customary gathering at my first paternal uncle's house in about 8 hours. but before i do that (sleep, that is), i think i'll go into STO for a bit and see what changes the massive update brought.

-random thought of the day: Happy New Year 兔 you!-