Leaving one's home country for an extended period counts as a special occasion. of course, this assumes that one is leaving the country voluntarily for something good, and not being forced to leave due to civil unrest, war, or anything like that. and in view of this special occasion happening(?) to me, i've been the recipient of a lot of kindness over the past week. somehow, i don't feel fully deserving of the kindness that i've been shown. so many people bought me dinner, like E and N, my cousin, guildmates, the chemistry guys. and just today, scary JC friend gave me a bottle of fragrance from the shop she works at. if you know where she works, you'll also know that those bottles don't come cheap. i don't exactly regret my decision on the exact fragrance, but she let me try a few others, the scent of one of which is still lingering on my forearm. it's odd...i like how it smells now, after a shower and 2 hours, but it comes across to me as too strong when it's just freshly-sprayed. also, it was quite funny. i was telling her that i liked smelling certain scents, but i didn't like those same scents when they were sprayed on me. probably due to them changing after some reaction with my skin and/or something on it. she said that i might like smelling it on another guy, which made me laugh. maybe i'll ask her to pick out something for my future partner, if/when it happens.

today was a super productive day. but perhaps i should link it to yesterday first. so gatherings with the guildmates tend to end late/early in the morning, so the host suggested i sleep over at their place. considering that we're not related, and have known each other for maybe a year and a half, it made me feel like we're pretty close friends. not bad for people who met via an online game. so i did, and that saved me so much time this morning! one, because their place is closer to novena, and two, because i feel bad/awkward to laze in bed in someone else's house for too long. tuition was nearly a disaster, but i think i did quite well to salvage it. so what happened is that we have to teach on zoom for the students who choose to learn from home. as i went to open zoom, i accidentally clicked the button below it, which was "uninstall zoom". and despite my best efforts to cancel the procedure, zoom uninstalled. there was no confirmation, either! i was all ready to grovel, apologize, and call in the biggest-ever SOS i would have ever had to call in my time with the tuition centre, but then i remembered that zoom has a web version. unfortunately, the web version doesn't support annotations, which i use to teach. so, i turned it into a live class by projecting the questions onto the board, and using the laptop webcam to show my written solutions. it was for the better, actually, since today's topic was lenses, and ray diagrams had to be drawn. way to go me! quite proud of that burst of quick thinking.

handing over the laptop was easy enough, the IT guy was very nice (and kind of cute!). he even offered to help me return my staff pass. that was the other thing i was worried about, by the way, that the HR person might want to personally collect the pass from me and ask me to go back again. i'm happy that i didn't have to fight that battle. so that's the end of my time there for now. while i wouldn't mind going back there in future, it's not exactly something that i'd jump at. we'll see if other/better opportunities come along.

went to return a singapore flag to a judo elder, and got a book from him, along with some advice. he used to live in japan, so he knows a thing or two. granted, that it was almost 20 years ago, some info might be outdated. but i'm grateful when people are willing to spend time with me. unfortunately, he's getting old. it's not me being mean; it's a fact of life. i've known him for close to 10 years, and i've noticed that he's become less sharp as he ages. he's by no means senile, but it's like, he's more forgetful and gets information mixed up sometimes. so, i always double-check any news he gives me.

the next major task was to apply for my international driver's permit. the sub-task there was to get a haircut, to look decent for the photo that would be taken as part of the permit. i went to EC house at junction 8, and the hairdresser there did something interesting to my fringe. i don't know how to describe it - like, she layered it a bit, so that the front strands are shorter and they prop up the longer strands that are slightly behind. so there's kind of a peak-ish look. i'm sure that i'll need some form of hair product to really bring that look out, and i'm also sure that i won't be bothered to use any hair product...so oh well. my next brainwave was remembering that there was a popular at J8, so i got another sub-task done (buy tape to fasten plastic sheets). the application for the permit was easier than i'd thought. for one, i was lucky and got a good parking spot. second, i was the only applicant, so i was in and out in like, 10 minutes. third, the guy who processed my application was pretty cute too!

and if all that wasn't enough, i also went to scary JC friend's shop. as she helped me choose a scent that i'd like, i got to see her at work. i was suitably impressed! also, it made me wonder if i could learn all that stuff. it does sound interesting! unfortunately, my current knowledge lies more towards making the individual molecules, as opposed to knowing and matching their scent properties. also, the side strap of my slipper suddenly broke. if you're chinese and superstitious, something like that happening is a sign that a greater misfortune has been warded off by the minor misfortune of the thing breaking. or, you know, it could just be wear and tear. anyway, i've got a spare pair of slippers on standby (more durable and less comfortable), so i'm not worried there. 

so...that was my day. all in all, very productive and fulfilling. very tiring too, considering i didn't get much sleep last night. first night sleeping in an unfamiliar place, after all. i should put some clothes to soak tonight, then into the wash tomorrow. falling quite far behind as far as packing is concerned, but i think i should have no problem to finish packing in time. have to really work at it tomorrow, though.

-random thought of the day: Charge electronics!-

Rainy day today. while i welcome the cooler weather, it's also made it more inconvenient for me to go about my errands. the current plan is to do 2 things in the evening, before going to a guildmate's place for dinner. that should also be the last farewell dinner i have lined up, which is good because my stomach needs a break.

no progress on packing since the last post, and that's due to a combination of laziness and some inability. things like chargers and other electronics can only be packed at the last minute, not to mention the clothes that i'll be wearing for tuition tomorrow, which will have to go through the wash too. i guess bag 2 will only be fully packed on the day itself, or at the earliest, on the night before.

the tuition handover issue was settled; thank goodness that someone from the IT department was either already working on the weekend, or willing to come back. it further reinforces the feedback that i gave them - that while the support rendered is great, the support would not be needed in many occasions if more/better planning was done. there's one more potential snag that i've spotted that could potentially not go well during the handover, but i'll deal with it if and when necessary. i'm hoping that this part of the company culture will have changed for the better if i have the opportunity to rejoin them after JET.

yesterday evening was spent with my cousin and his family. i don't think his daughter is fully aware that that was the last time she'll see me in person for several months at the minimum. but to be fair, there have been instances where i didn't visit for upwards of 6 months, so maybe it's not all that different? well, at least there's video calling now, so that helps to bridge the distance somewhat. it got me thinking a little, actually. i have friends and relatives who have moved overseas for extended periods of time, be it for study, work, or migration. how did they cope? i suppose it might be easier at a very young age, when strong social bonds haven't been formed yet. but for people who moved countries in their teens (like chemical engineer cousin, multiple times, at that), i don't know how it must have been. well, one way i'm looking at it is to not think so much about what i'll be leaving behind, but what awaits me in japan. and there's the added comfort of knowing that i'm able to visit singapore during my stint abroad, and will most probably be back permanently in the future. unfortunately, some people don't have that ability, like people who've been exiled, voluntarily or not. but that's a topic for another time.

discussing this topic made me remember a classmate in primary school. i think we were in the same class in primary 1 and 2. sometime in primary 2, he left the school. i forget why...but it was either to change schools within singapore, or to migrate overseas. i don't know why that memory stuck in my head. might be because i remember him crying in class when the topic was brought up, or because his name was very easy for me to remember - we have the same last name, and his chinese name is a combination of mine and my cousin's. i just googled his name, and it seems that someone with that exact name, and who appears to be my age, is currently working in a government body. that person looks different from how i remember my friend, but i suppose people will be different after 25 years. assuming that it's him, that is.

i just saw that someone shared a facebook post about another NUS student who alleges that he was the victim of sexual grooming by a TA in a class that he took. will it never end!!?? before i go further, the usual disclaimers apply - i don't have any privileged information about the case, everything i know can be found in the public domain, i don't have legal training, and this is all my personal opinion. so, from the get-go, my opinion is that the TA is at fault. because there's a certain standard of behaviour that a person with power over another is expected to uphold in dealings between them. for a TA to send suggestive messages to a student under his/her care is a violation of that standard (a few exceptions apply, but it's still generally not an excuse). not only that, i believe that the victim claimed that the TA marked him unfairly, which would definitely be an abuse of power. furthermore, the victim claims that NUS hasn't been very sympathetic to his plight. might it be because that society in general doesn't view males as being capable of suffering from sexual abuse?

on the other hand, the victim describes himself as a victim of sexual grooming. i find that to be...odd. i guess it's because i'm used to hearing sexual grooming being used in cases between an adult and a child/minor, ie. someone who is deemed not to be able to make sound decisions. in this case, both the accused and the victim are in their twenties, and above the legal age. so i would think that the victim should have the ability to stand up for himself, and therefore the allegation of sexual grooming doesn't feel right to me. i'm not saying that no wrong was done, but i'd have called it something like harassment, abuse of power, or trading grades for sex.

what annoyed me a bit was that because the accused and the victim are both male in this case, there are people online saying that the accused was trying to "turn/convert" the victim gay. for the record, the victim has said that he's straight. when will people learn that a person's sexuality can't be changed!? i suppose it's these people who also think that there's a clear division - you're either straight, or gay. the current thought is that sexuality exists on a spectrum, and that people may express varying degrees of same-sex attraction - from totally unattracted to totally attracted. honestly, it seems to me that people who believe that someone can "turn" gay haven't really thought their stand through. if switching orientations is that easy, why don't they be gay for a day? after all, if one can turn gay, one can turn straight again too, right? and again, i don't think that anyone in their right mind would choose to be gay and be subject to the discrimination, hatred, bullying, prejudice which accompanies that "choice". so far, i haven't found a single convincing argument why someone should be discouraged from embracing their orientation, whatever it may be. in fact, it's more harmful to force someone to be what they're not. i actually have tremendous respect for a friend who told me that he tried being intimate with a guy, just to ascertain that he didn't like it. jedi master has said that the loudest homophobes are usually the biggest closet cases, and they take out their self-hatred on people who they perceive to be weaker than them. perhaps this is a good argument for all LGBT people to take up some form of self-defense training, so as not to appear weak and/or to have the ability to defend themselves if push comes to shove.

going back to the start and to my to-do list for this weekend, i have to cut my hair and collect my second batch of uniqlo stuff today. my guildmate offered to let me stay over because of the early class tomorrow, so i might just take up that offer. there's tuition tomorrow morning, followed by going to ang mo kio to apply for my international driver's permit. then, i'm going to look for scary JC friend at her workplace, because she wants to give me a gift. after that...i think i'm free? should probably stop by the cathay to use up the remaining $20 worth of vouchers, though i don't know what to spend it on yet. shouldn't stay out too late, since i have to throw my work clothes in the wash so that they have sufficient time to dry and be packed. as for the remaining weekdays, i guess it'll be more packing, tidying up, and settling last-minute things.

-random thought of the day: If I forget something, it probably isn't that essential.-

Since the last post, bag 1 has been settled. it weighs about 20.3kg out of the 23kg maximum, so i think we're in a good place. can probably stuff something else in there (my keyboard comes to mind), but we'll see how bag 2 goes. i think coming in at just below the limit would be good, considering that i'll have to move stuff from bag 2 to bag 1 for the domestic leg of the trip. the worst case would be having to overload my carry-on, but i'd like to avoid that if possible. bag 2 also seems like it'll be more difficult to pack, considering that there are more categories of things, and things that i can't pack until the last minute.

also, i've met up with some more friends. had dinner with the usual chemistry guys yesterday, at suntec city's shi jian hotpot. since i was there, i took the opportunity to visit the giant there and buy some local stuff to take to japan (find space in luggage for them). considering that they're all working adults, 2 of them are married, and 1 of them is a father, i'm really grateful that they took time out to catch me before i fly. we're looking to meet up in japan when travel becomes a bit less restricted. as for the hotpot itself, it was typical, i guess. service was below average in my opinion, because it felt like the staff weren't attentive enough. or it might be that haidilao set such a high standard that normal levels of service appear unsatisfactory.

having some minor disagreements with tuition again. long story short, they're asking me to come in after my last day to return my company laptop, and i don't think that it's fair. considering how clearly they've drawn lines in the sand, i don't think i'm being unreasonable by telling them that i'm not obligated to sacrifice my personal time for work matters, especially when i'll no longer be a member of the staff by that time. i get the feeling that the HR officer i spoke to is inexperienced...she didn't seem to be actively listening during our conversation. i'm hoping that a compromise can be reached.

that's just about all for now i think. meeting some of the guildmates later. they'll be having dinner, but i don't think i'll be eating. i've really overindulged these past few days. but hey - it's not every day that i move countries, right?

-random thought of the day: I wonder how the handover will be resolved.-

Making some headway in packing, but i'm probably going to have to rethink what clothes i should be bringing. so far, the packing philosophy has been based on what i think i'll wear when i'm in japan. that's led to me including several t-shirts that haven't seen the light of day for literal years. perhaps i need to modify my filter to exclude things i've never/rarely worn.

just for a clearer picture, here's the current organization of my 4 bags:

suitcase 1 (larger): things that i won't need immediately - clothes, stationery, souvenirs, teaching aids

suitcase 2 (smaller): things that i might need in quarantine - comfortable clothes, chargers, adapters, masks

laptop bag: laptop, tablet, maybe documents

carry-on: warm clothes for layering, water bottle(s), hand sanitizer, moisturizer

it seems so simple, and yet i'm having difficulty. WHY!!?? guess i've never packed on this scale before. what i think will end up happening is that i'll finish packing, then go through 1 or 2 rounds of optimization to redistribute or cut weight and/or space. what sucks a bit more is that i think i might need to get more clothes (hello again, uniqlo), so there's still a bit of uncertainty. i did some comparison of the sizing charts between uniqlo singapore and uniqlo japan, and found that there are some small differences in the measurements for a given size. nothing significant, but i think i should get a bit more stuff in singapore first. the first shipment of clothes came, and i did a fairly good estimation of size. could probably have gone a size smaller, but it's good as it is.

yesterday's tuition class was meh. online classes make it hard to ensure that kids are participating. and even if i call them out, there's nothing i can do if they don't respond. if i had my way, i'd pause the class until the kid i called on answered, but that would be unfair to everyone else. well...it won't be my business soon. after tuition, i met my JC classmates (N and E) for dinner at waterway point, where we ate at gyu-kaku. the literal translation of that is "cow horn", so you might not be surprised to learn that it was a beef-centric restaurant, where you had to grill the meat yourself. we opted for the japanese wagyu buffet, which, while expensive, meant that we got more atas meat. i hesitate to say that it was value-for-money, because the price was quite steep, and we had to eat on a 90-minute timer. although i will say that i enjoyed myself, ate a ton, and that i can't eat like that too frequently. guess i made up for it somewhat today, since my first and only meal was at night.

over dinner and a subsequent drink at the koufu, N and E caught me up on recent developments in their lives. gosh, when was the last time we met? might be that time at novena square, early this year. N has bought a place with his girlfriend, and is planning to propose soon, while E has moved out into a place of his own. don't think i'm spoiling anything, since i'm fairly certain N's girlfriend doesn't know of this blog's existence. i was just telling N that i feel so behind compared to them. while there's no good way to measure overall achievement in life, there are tangible indicators, like the amount of money in one's bank account, or the monthly salary that one is being paid. having said that, i still don't regret applying for and accepting JET. grad studies, on the other hand...my feelings towards it fluctuate, so i don't know. N was saying that he was envious of me being able to just up and leave like that. grass is always greener, maybe. but would i trade places with him? it's a tough question, but my answer is no for now. maybe it would be different a few years earlier or later.

perhaps it's better if i do a round of optimization now. after all, it's getting late, and i probably won't have the mental capacity for things more complex than simple decision-making. as a reminder, here are my engagements for the next few days:

tomorrow - nothing, so get most of the packing done

wednesday - dinner with chemistry guys

thursday - lunch with colleague, exit interview for tuition

friday - time with cousin and family

saturday - dinner with guild people

sunday - tuition, international driving permit, maybe scary JC friend

that's probably all that i can forecast at this point in time. by next sunday, i'll have 3 days left to get things done (because morning flight on thursday). have to fit in a haircut sometime this week too, probably on saturday. got to look good for my international driving permit application, after all. of course, there's the not-so little issue of handing the car over. coordinating the logistics aside, there's the emotional hurdle which i must cross as well. but that's still a week away.

-random thought of the day: Still have to tidy and clean up.-

Have about 2 hours of free time before i have to get ready for tuition (thank goodness it's a late class today), so i thought i'd do a quick post about the goings-on over the past few days.

friday was pretty productive; i got most of my shopping done. went to this old-school toy shop to pick up some props for teaching in japan, and got an educational puzzle thing for my niece at the same time. it was really a blast from the past. there were toys there that i don't think i've seen in years, maybe decades! i got some stickers, stamps, and country erasers to bring over. was contemplating getting those liquid balloons too, but decided against it because organic solvents. in case you don't know what i'm referring to, the liquid balloon comes in a small tube of viscous liquid (probably some sort of polymer in a solvent), along with a short straw. you put some liquid on one end of the straw, and blow through the other end to make a balloon. no, i'm not talking about blowing soap bubbles. the balloons are actually pretty hardy. i don't remember how exactly we played with them, or decided who "won"...maybe size of balloon? shape? well...as with most kids' games, the rules are kind of arbitrary anyway, so i'm sure new rules can be thought up.

some of the other JETs are bringing old-school toys/games along. and i'm talking like "before my time" levels of old-school. things like five stones, chapteh, pick-up sticks, which i'm sure even the previous generation can identify with. i'm not sure how relevant it is to introduce those things to the kids in japan. with the internet and advanced technology today, do present-day kids even know of those games any more? well, in fairness, country erasers may be a thing of the past as well, but somehow i feel it's closer to the present than the other games mentioned above.

next, i went to the stationery shop. for a shop named "overjoyed", the shopping experience certainly doesn't live up to its name. if they're going for accuracy, i'd recommend that they rename to "sorely disappointed". some shelves were literally empty, and multiple products advertised as being in stock on their website were actually sold out. so far, i've shopped there thrice, and the experience has been negative 2 out of 3 times. it's not like it's a one-off thing, either. i've provided feedback on this issue at least a year ago, and nothing's improved. the only reason i went there this time was because the mall that they're housed in (the cathay) has a 40% off promotion on vouchers, so things there are going for almost half-price. i regret buying so many vouchers. still got $20 worth of vouchers left to use, so i may go down to the mall again, but will probably spend the vouchers somewhere else.

last shopping stop of the day was at plaza singapura, where i got foam tips for the wireless earphones. they're supposed to fit better than the default silicone ones, but apparently they don't last as long? well, i've never used foam tips before, so i'm hoping the quality of life increase is worth the extra money spent. the earphones themselves work great; i took public transport that day and brought them along to test them out. i'm impressed by the transparent hearing function, as well as by both the active and passive noise cancelling. as i was in the train, i could hear the announcements through the earphones, but i couldn't clearly hear which station's name was being announced. when i turned on active noise cancelling, it was total silence. and conversely, transparent hearing let me hear not only the announcements, but the conversations of some people near me.

there was also dinner with some guildmates, probably the first of several. we had thai kway chap, which is basically the regular kway chap that we're used to, but in a different broth. they also had deep frying as an alternative cooking method to the more traditional braising. i was impressed that their fried stuff wasn't overly oily, but i also know that it's still not healthy. my favourites were the fish sausage and the large intestines, although i wish the braised version of the latter dish was available. we then had gelato for dessert at a nearby cafe. apparently it's pretty popular, but i'm not much of a cafe person if i'm eating solo, so i didn't know about it. the gelato was good though, i liked the belgian chocolate and the coconut.

moving on to future events, there's tuition later, as you know. the forecast says i've got a morning class next week. how sad, that i should have a morning class on my last day of work! well, it gives me more time to settle the handover procedures, and frees up the second half of my day so i can apply for my international driver's permit. so far, i'm scheduled to meet with friends tonight, wednesday night, and thursday night. might want to drop in on my cousin on tuesday or friday. other than that, most of the time should be occupied by packing and tidying up. yes, the 10 november deadline was far too optimistic. i'll be happy as long as i can get it done before the departure date.

-random thought of the day: Need to get ziplock bags!-

Additional details came through in yesterday's travel briefing. it's confirmed - we have a morning flight over to japan, and we'll be quarantined in a hotel for 2 weeks before moving on to our actual placement destinations. true enough, the domestic flights have a lower baggage allowance, so i'll definitely have to shuffle things between suitcases in the hotel. just as a reminder to myself, i have 2 X 23kg allowance from singapore to tokyo, but only 1 X 20kg from tokyo to kochi. that also means that i'll have to send a bag off in advance.

somehow, the impression i got from attending the briefing was that there is very poor coordination between the travel company, the embassy, and the JET people. a lot of the questions that the other participants asked, regarding excess baggage, quarantine food, accommodations, all received the same response of "we'll check and get back to you". i'd have expected them to have the answers before this briefing! not to mention the quarantine plan appears not all that thought through. we're under quarantine, but have to go down to the service desk to have our temperature taken daily, and are allowed access to the convenience store within the hotel...but we can't visit each others' rooms. if the point of quarantine is to minimize contact, then everything should be done room service style! what's worse, the hosts did something which i thought was pretty unprofessional, and booted all of us out of the chat due to "time being up", despite people being in the midst of asking questions. well...at least we have enough information to move forward for now. and reacting to new/different information in japan will just be a test of adaptability.

my energy levels have been kind of low recently. not sure if it's because i'm tired out after all the previous stuff, or if my body's trying to conserve energy for the move. if it's the second thing, it's too early! and i still have packing to do. sent my pants and jeans through the wash yesterday, so those should be ready by tonight. so, while that's the clothes basically settled, i still have to think about all the other categories (tech, essentials, teaching aids, stationery). not forgetting the most annoying task of all - making sure nothing is left exposed on my desk or on any other surfaces in the room.

had a couple of weird dreams last night. i fell asleep while watching a video on someone reviewing the capless LS, and as most pen review videos do, they include a writing sample. as i was asleep, my brain interpreted the scratching sound of the pen on paper as something terrifying scratching against my door, and i woke up in a panic. even after realizing what the sound actually was, it took a while for my heart rate to return to normal. after falling asleep again, i dreamt that i was late for class in JC, and had to SMS my home tutor to inform him about it. there was some factual basis to this dream, in that my home tutor did tell us to message him if we were running late. he'd mark our attendance as present, because it would be less hassle as opposed to changing it later or something. if you know the location of CJC, you'll know how bad the traffic situation there can be in the mornings, so i think a few of my classmates did that before.

right, i think that's it for now. my nose is feeling a little stuffy, which makes me think that a flu shot might be a good idea. although it might just be allergies. the schedule today suddenly filled up, with some shopping and dinner with some guildmates. still deciding if i should drive or take public transport for the shopping part. maybe i'll split my shopping trips into 2, for today and tomorrow. still taking it kind of easy for now, because there appears to be sufficient time. i just hope that i'm right.

-random thought of the day: Maybe I should walk in to the clinic instead...-

Fourteen days to go! the timer was started with close to forty days, so it's evidence that a significant amount of time has passed. i'll just talk about some updates on things mentioned in the last post, and probably give a more certain forecast of future events.

the credit card issue has been resolved. i reported it on monday, my card details were automatically updated on samsung pay yesterday (how did they do that!?), and a new physical card came in the mail this afternoon. the old card has been cut up and disposed of, so i think we're all good. i'm slightly happier with the new card, because the first and last 4 digits of the card number are less similar. i've been unnecessarily delayed at the checkout pages of several websites on several occasions because i got the order of the numbers wrong.

porting my number was relatively painless. it's not the first time i've done it; that was in 2017 when i jumped from starhub to m1. i was surprised that i didn't blog about it in detail at that time; my archived post just had the briefest mention of it. i suppose m1 took care of everything for me back then, because i went down to their shop to sign for a new line and submit the porting request. also, there might be less need to document the process, now that number porting has become so common. it's easy to do and errors happen less frequently. but for the sake of people who do run into issues, especially with the newer telcos, i think i'll just share what to expect. this is based on my experience with transferring from m1 to circles.life, so your experience will likely differ if you're using different telcos.

so it started with me signing up for circles.life. their application page gives you two options: to get a new number, or transfer your existing number over. the second option gave me an error message despite me having fulfilled all the requirements of (1) not being under contract with my existing telco, (2) having the phone number registered in my name, and (3) the number being a postpaid number. so, i opted to sign up for a new number first, and perform the number transfer later. although the plan is advertised as being $5 per month, there are some hidden costs like a registration/activation fee ($38), and a delivery fee (from $2 to $6) for your new SIM card. the $38 is kind of standard in singapore, by the way. just in case anyone is doing research for an impending move here. for new subscribers to circles.life specifically, you have to upload soft copies of your identification document for verification. in my case, it was my IC, both front and back, but many other forms of identification are accepted.

after getting the SIM card (delivery was pretty punctual, have your original identification document ready for the delivery person to verify again), you have to insert it into your phone. i quite like that SIM cards in singapore are cut in a way that allows you to pop out the size of SIM card that you need (regular, micro, or nano). for my phone, i needed the nano SIM, which is basically just the chip itself. at this point, i was not able to make calls or receive SMSes yet, because the SIM card had not been activated. that took about 20 minutes after it was inserted into my phone, and i was informed of the activation by SMS. then, you have to log in to the circles.life app and request for a number transfer. they'll ask you for a few details, like phone number to be transferred, the originating (donor) telco, and when you'd like the transfer to be done. the earliest you can schedule it for is the next day. the transfer happens at night (around midnight), and you'll be informed to expect some minor service disruption. because my phone is dual-SIM, i had both SIM cards inserted and didn't experience any service disruption at all. i was getting messages consistently on whatsapp web even during the supposed transfer window. you'll get an SMS after it's complete, at which point you can remove your old SIM card and use your new one. if your phone is single-SIM, you'll probably notice that you don't have reception any more, and/or your phone may say that the SIM card is invalid. those are other indicators that the transfer has taken place.

some more JET updates came, and i have some pictures of my new house! it's quite charming, in a rustic sort of way. there's a wooden floor living room, tatami mat rooms, and a modern-ish kitchen. well, i say "modern", but that's relative - more like 1980s design. but i'm not complaining! my supervisor also said that there's a fibre connection, which means fast internet speed! have to figure out which ISP to use though. i was also informed that the weather would be cold, like below 10 degrees. have i actually ever experienced that? i think the closest i've come to that was in new zealand. but that was only for a few weeks, and not long-term. which reminds me! i need to make my preliminary uniqlo purchase. the irony is that i ended up getting mostly regular clothes, because the thermal wear stuff is cheaper in japan!

washed a lot of shirts yesterday, and they've dried by now. my first thought when taking them off the laundry rack was that they're disproportionately heavy. looks like i'll have to be a bit more judicious with my packing. the best strategy might be to pack for this and next seasons, ie. winter and spring. pity that typical clothes worn in singapore are better suited for summer. today's mission is to get the shirts packed, and maybe give the pants a run through the washing machine, considering how long some of them have been in storage. should probably update my to-do list again, although at this point, everything new will be in the "needs immediate attention/next 2 weeks" category. all that aside, there are some dinners scheduled with the JC friends, the chemistry guys, my cousin, and my colleague who was previously on the program. looks like it's going to be a busy 2 weeks until departure.

-random thought of the day: My professor replied positively!-

Lack of motivation is real! i'd thought that i'd be able to get a load of clothes washed and hung up today, but it doesn't look like it's going to happen. on the bright side, i did manage to get my circles.life SIM card, and request for number porting over the app. if all goes well, the number should be transferred by wednesday morning. just hoping that i won't face any issues, like whatsapp not working or anything like that. there's already been a worrying sign, in that SMSes take quite long to be delivered. so, that might affect OTPs or other things that i may still be using before flying to japan.

i somehow got an unauthorized transaction on my credit card. it's the card that i use the most often, so the possibilities of how my details got leaked are correspondingly larger in number. still, i played it safe and called the bank to get a replacement. i think i've been watching too many scambaiting videos, because i was suspicious of the person who answered my call. but she was able to tell me some of my transaction history, so i think it's genuine. either that, or scammers' methods have really got advanced. the interesting thing was that the transaction was for USD 0.72, or SGD 1, and it was from a company called TOY SHOP. how's that for a generic name? i think most people would weigh the pros and cons of losing such a small amount of money vs having to call the bank, cancel their card, wait for a new card...and just choose to let it go. unfortunately for the people behind this operation, i'm not like that. sure, i'm easygoing with people i care about, but i'm extremely calculative otherwise. i think they were counting on it being such a small transaction that most victims wouldn't care. but then, $1 from a thousand people becomes $1000. not to mention they may feel emboldened to take larger sums of money if this small amount goes through. well, at least they won't be earning money from me.

all that aside, i really REALLY have to get started on packing. i think let's try to do something small by tonight, like throwing some stuff into my carry-on. there are things that i can't pack in advance, since i'll be using them right up till the last moment. chargers, for example, or my keyboard. i can probably do casual clothes, books, maybe socks and other assorted stuff. we'll see.

-random thought of the day: Uniqlo will have to wait until my new card gets here.-

Outstanding items on my to-do list are now in the minority, so that's a load off my mind. got a lot of stuff done over the past week, but i don't feel inclined to write about them in too much detail. instead, i'll do like key points for each thing.

sublingual immunotherapy: walked in, they were full. made an appointment for the subsequent day. medicine cost $1800 a year, not $900, and must be kept cold. too expensive and troublesome for me. doctor advised to practise prevention strategies instead. doctor also said temperate climates don't have dust mite issues, so here's hoping it gets better in japan.

selling my laptop: removed the HDD due to sensitive information (lab data) present within. got quoted $30 based on my description. i truthfully declared a screen issue, but it didn't show up when they tested the system. makes me think that i should have kept my big mouth shut, but honesty is the best policy...right? well, $30 is on the low end (the laptop was bought for $1495 or so, 8 years ago), but it's still better than $0, so i got that going for me.

wireless earphones: met a super nice carousell seller who was open to negotiation, and even gave me a further $5 discount because he was late. he was selling the limited edition ones too, so i got a steal. considering reselling it for a profit, but it's not nice because the receipt (that i have to pass on for warranty purposes) has his address on it. oh well. and just when i bought it, people are selling the regular ones for even cheaper. mildly annoying, but i'm not too upset, all things considered.

import of medicine certificate: turns out it's not required, because the supplements that i wanted to bring along don't have a pharmacological effect. the japanese bureau responsible were quite efficient; they replied my email enquiry within a few hours.

road tax: finally got it renewed after much pushing and reminding. i'll acknowledge that the good thing about governmental boards in singapore is that they're usually reasonable, provided you can prove that you've done your part as well. like, i remember there was once i got a summons for parking in a season parking lot without season parking. i actually did have season parking, but the car that i borrowed from my mechanic at that time (due to the accident) had had its number plate changed. i showed them that there was no way for me to update the new license plate number, and they waived the summons. so now, i'm covered until december, which is way more time than i'll need.

switching telcos: the circles life $5 plan appears to be the cheapest way to maintain my phone number as active. line suspension also costs about that amount, with an additional $10 activation fee and a maximum period of 6 months. i ended up signing up for the plan earlier than intended due to a mild kiasu attack when i couldn't locate the sign up link on the website. i was afraid that they'd pulled it, but it's still there. well...in the grand scheme of things, the difference of a week or so doesn't really matter. the automated system couldn't handle my request to port my number over, so that's something i'll have to do separately when i get my SIM card.

today: went to my aunt's house to pick up a suitcase and some yen that she changed, and played with my eldest niece (who was visiting as well) for a few hours. she's getting more articulate, and can extrapolate ideas. i'm impressed! but taking care of a child is truly tiring. i feel wiped out after those 3-4 hours; i have no idea how parents do it on a full-time basis, especially during the times when domestic helpers weren't that common. also, now that i have 2 suitcases, there's no excuse for me to procrastinate on packing.

upcoming week: must really get a start on packing, and visit the stationery shop. i don't have a detailed shopping list, but i do know that i at least want to get inks, a few small writing pads, and a notebook. those vouchers should serve me well. and if i have enough left over, i MAY consider a pen. unlikely, but you never know. it's tempting to get a nice pen for cheap just to resell it, but i'm not too inclined to do that due to the time constraint. well...we'll see. also, i have to consider getting foam tips for the earphones (the current silicone ones don't fit all that well), some preliminary winter wear from uniqlo, and maybe a flu shot. more spending!

further future: have to meet up with a few groups of friends, as well as my cousin and his family, but those are all flexible. was thinking of emailing my professor to just update him, but i'm a little reluctant because this is really super far removed from science. based on what i know about him, he should be supportive, so i'm probably overthinking here. at any rate, it would be nice to hear about how the lab is doing too. i think we had another 2 students graduate this year? although i think 4 of them came in at the same time. another sign of time passing by is that i don't know successive generations of my juniors any more. but that's to be expected.

so...yes. we're now less than 20 days away from flying, and i don't have a good game plan yet. the general idea is simple - pack and tidy up. it's the specifics that get me. like, should i pack souvenirs for people i'll be working with? how about prizes/rewards for the students? maybe there's not point in thinking too much. knowing myself and my working style, i'll find something that makes sense. the key is just to get started first. things will fall into place.

-random thought of the day: Remember to place Uniqlo order!-

Big update came through last night, and i finally have a confirmed flight time and number. it's a morning flight (8:00am or so), which means that (1) i have to get to the airport super early, and (2) i can't sleep on the plane. the second thing i can deal with, because it's a full-service flight, meaning that there will be in-flight entertainment. the flight timing though...i have to get to the airport at 6:00am-ish, which means waking up an hour before that at the minimum, which then means sleeping super early the night before. not even sure if i'll be able to fall asleep, with all the excitement. but i'll worry about that on the day itself.

although i made some progress and threw out 3 bags' worth of junk, my room is more cluttered than before because i cleared out the car (save for some essentials) and brought everything up. there was really A LOT of junk in there. what's more, some things in the boot seem to have suffered from water damage. i don't know how or when either. so, the objective for the next 2 days is to throw out even more stuff, and hopefully have an empty desk except for my computer. that will be taken care of closer to departure.

it's weird...i feel energetic, yet tired. probably because there's so much to do and i don't know where to get started. i was going to say that i didn't want to do a packing list because i'm not much of a list person, but the to-do list in the sidebar kind of disproves that. perhaps it would be more accurate to say that i don't like relying excessively on lists, or having lists that are too long (as i'm sure the packing list is bound to be). good thing that JAL gives us a total of 46kg worth of checked baggage, though i also have to remember that the allowance will be less for domestic flights. i think what will end up happening is that i'll repack in the hotel and send a bag off in advance, while the other bag and carry-on goes on the plane with me for the domestic flight.

in official business to settle, the LTA hasn't responded to my application to renew my road tax for a month. so i called in to their hotline, and had a pretty frustrating conversation with their customer service people. maybe it was the choice of words or something, but i had the feeling that the guy i spoke to didn't understand my problem. i said my issue was that "i wrote in to request for short-term renewal of road tax, but didn't receive any confirmation on whether my road tax had been renewed". his follow up question to that was "so when did you receive confirmation?" i could have screamed! only after some back and forth did we establish that he was asking for acknowledgement that my request had been submitted, instead of confirmation that my road tax had been renewed. you'd think that it would be common sense to use a different word to refer to something other than the subject matter at hand, right? anyway, i think i've gone above and beyond to make sure that my road tax can be renewed on time. i just hope they resolve this before the due date, which is saturday.

checking my to-do list, it seems that the biggest arrow right now is getting packed. facing a couple of difficulties in that regard, not the least of which being inertia. think i need to increase productivity by doing a couple of small things, which will hopefully snowball and lead to more motivation to tackle bigger things. seems like the deadlines that i'd previously set for myself can still be met, so that's good. at the same time, i can't shake the feeling that i've forgotten something crucial. but then, me having that feeling isn't anything new. from past experience, i've managed well enough despite having this feeling in the past, so i'm hoping this time won't be the exception.

-random thought of the day: Am I worrying too much?-

While today didn't start off super well, it wasn't a bad day overall. for i think only the second time in 2 years, i woke up late for tuition. what's more annoying is that i actually woke up at 5:30am, went back to sleep, woke up in time for my 7:00am alarm, dozed off again, and finally woke up for real at 7:50am for a 9:00am class. left the house at about 8:10am, and by some miracle, the road was clear-ish, which allowed me to reach the classroom at 8:45am. in my rush, i had to park at united square itself (slightly more expensive parking fees), and i forgot to bring my shred pile along for shredding. well...no biggie. the shred pile will now become the burn pile. the last time i burned papers was after O-levels, where i burned my history (and A maths too, i think) notes and worksheets. it was cathartic, to see materials for the 2 subjects that i had the biggest issues with just go up in smoke. i should have burned everything from the first IP firm, come to think of it. that might have helped my healing process.

another thing to be thankful for is that i only had one class today, so that mitigated my parking fee somewhat. i was in and out of united square in just over 2 hours. that cost me $3.20, compared to $1.60 per entry if i parked at my usual spot. well, it's a small price to pay for being punctual even after 50 minutes' more sleep. incidentally, i realize that i only have 2 more weekends at tuition. i had the presence of mind to use up my remaining annual leave, so i don't have class next week. deepavali is on the weekend of the 14th/15th, so i might not have class then as well if i'm lucky. that leaves the 22nd, which is my official last day and therefore can't be skipped due to handing stuff over and paperwork. all in all, it should be quite a relaxed month as far as work is concerned.

did some cleaning and packing yesterday, which triggered my dust allergy. sublingual immunotherapy is becoming a more serious consideration. problem is, it's more expensive than i'd thought - about $900 per year for the "medicine" alone. "medicine" is in quotes because it's not really a drug, just a preparation of the allergen that the patient has to deliberately expose him/herself to in order to get the immune system used to it. if you look at it on a per-day basis, though, it's less than $2.50 a dose. that's a thought that i've had for a while, but never really found the opportunity to write about. maybe we can look at how much things cost over the time for which we use them. say, a phone. i got my phone for $1000 or so in 2018. it's been almost 3 years now, which means that my average cost is about a dollar a day. or my computer, which cost about $1800 all in, and which i've been using for 5 years now. for me at least, looking at things from this kind of perspective makes it easier to dissuade myself from "upgrading" as and when i feel like it (aka. spending unnecessarily).

guess that's it for now. need to do some clothes washing and packing next week, as well as maybe going down to the stationery store. will find time to start moving stuff out of the car, and maybe meet people as and when. still feeling a little bummed out about the whole lawyer guy situation, but i've done all i possibly can without appearing creepy/desperate. so...nothing more i can or should do there.

-random thought of the day: Sleepy.-

No major progress between the last post and now, but then it's only been two days. october is coming to an end, and that makes me feel...nervous. it's like, i feel that i'm forgetting something of utmost importance, but i have no idea what it might be. so, i'm just going to get a couple of thoughts out of my head in this post.

remember i told you all about someone from my cohort getting posted to okinawa? i'm thankful that i wasn't assigned that placement. on the other end of the spectrum, one other guy in the cohort got what seems to be my dream posting. it's in hokkaido, which is a colder place, and his rent is FREE. on top of that, it's also a fishing town, and apparently the town distributes free seafood to its residents. like, SERIOUSLY!?? not saying that i'm more suited for that posting, but i definitely like it more than my current one. and to rub the proverbial salt into my proverbial wound, he only plans on staying there for a year, because he wants to go to the US for postgrad studies. if i had that posting, i might very well stay beyond my intended 2-3 years.

having said all of that though, i am by no means unhappy with my current posting. $125 per month in rent, helpful superiors and predecessors, and a mild climate make my posting good in its own right. so, it's just a case of having a higher mountain and a deeper valley...something like that. the trick, i think, is to find contentment in one's present situation/circumstance. and there's plenty for me to be content - even happy - about. also, another lesson is to look at things from a balanced perspective. i was having some qualms about moving to a town with population density of 37 people per square km. his town's population density is 7. that is literally over a thousand times lower than singapore's figure. not sure how i'd adapt to that, the extreme winter cold (plus driving in snow and ice!), and any other negative factors that might not be immediately apparent. i'd still be game to try it though! but yes...find peace and contentment in the present situation.

on a side note, i think that i've kind of informally came out to the people on the singapore JET discord server. it's quite funny, actually. the conversation was started by some of the tokyo people (all ladies) discussing a way to co-rent an apartment, and one option that came up was marriage, because spouses can co-sign the lease. that led to LGBT marriage, which tokyo has legalized, by the way. i pointed that out, and they were like "are you interested?" i deflected that by saying that i had to find a guy who wanted to marry me first, which led to them asking me what my preferred type of guy was. totally not how i'd foreseen the conversation going! but well...there doesn't appear to be any negativity (mainly/maybe because most people there have liberal arts backgrounds?), so i'm counting that blessing. either that, or they think i'm joking. the tone is still quite light, but i'm willing to have a serious conversation if they really want to know. interestingly, the guy whose hokkaido posting i'm envious of has been described by the girls of the group as an "ikemen", or handsome guy. but as i told them, even ikemen also no point if he's not into men. i have no idea about his orientation, by the way, and i'm not planning to probe deeper in that direction.

moving on to people whose orientations i would like to know, i had a text conversation with lawyer guy this past week. it was...cold. i asked him out for dinner before my departure date, and he declined even before knowing when i'd be flying! so...yes. i think that's a pretty clear sign that he's not comfortable/interested with progressing our interaction beyond its current state. i can't blame him exactly, because he probably has his reasons...such as finding me annoying or suspicious, or having some other hang-up that i'm not aware about, or just simply not being interested. well, no point forcing things. he did say that he wants to catch up if he goes to japan, so that'll happen when it happens. for now...i guess i'll try to maintain contact, but even more sporadically than now. it doesn't feel good, but that's how things are sometimes.

still haven't really started packing yet. the inertia is real. but i do have to start somewhere. i suppose a good starting point would be to make another shred pile which i can bring to tuition to use the shredder. probably will aim to complete 1 to 2 rounds of trash clearing by this weekend. should at least open my suitcase up too, that might give me some added motivation to pack. 

-random thought of the day: One more month of tuition!-

Settled two major things and one minor thing today, and i think that's most of the loose ends wrapped up. the two major things were collecting my visa and signing papers to sell the car, while the minor thing was picking up my samsung watch from the service centre. the embassy visit was fairly straightforward; i parked at dempsey like last time, and grabbed over. the process was very fast, and i was in and out in 10 minutes. it's the first time i've ever had to apply for a visa in advance, instead of a tourist visa being issued upon landing. no wait, that's wrong. i remember applying for an australian visa for my grad trip. why didn't i need to apply for one when visiting chemical engineer cousin in 2018? did scoot help me to apply for one as part of the flight package? odd. but yes. that's the biggest hurdle out of the way, save for actually boarding the flight and arriving safely in japan.

before going down to the embassy, i stopped by the workshop to sign the sales agreement for the car with my mechanic. it's definitely irrational, but i've been repeatedly questioning my decision to sell the car. i know that selling it makes the most sense, because getting some money back for it is better than leaving it to rot while i'm overseas. even though i know the facts, selling it still doesn't feel good. i actually felt quite heavy-hearted after signing the thing, and that feeling has persisted until now. well...at least i know the car is going to someone who appreciates it and will take care of it. the plan is to treasure my remaining days with it. not that i haven't treasured my time having a car, but the thought of having to let it go in less than a month makes our remaining time together all the more precious.

visa collection was the last of my time-sensitive events today, so i took a nice long walk from the embassy back to the car in dempsey (about 20 minutes), then drove down to vivocity to collect my watch. the experience was mildly better this time, though i was still made to wait longer than expected while the staff sorted out my bill. i'm starting to think that samsung service staff need more training, or maybe they deploy all the newbies to vivocity to learn on the job. things went much smoother at the plaza singapura service centre when i sent my phone in for a screen replacement a couple of years ago. well, at least that ordeal's over. i came home to realize that the rubber on the charging station for the watch had degraded, so i'm buying a replacement off carousell. surprisingly, it's cheaper than i expected! granted that it's third-party, but i was expecting to pay more than $11.

right. the next-biggest thing i have to tackle is packing. it's a bit difficult, because we haven't been given info on our baggage allowance. based on the likely airlines, it should be either 30kg or 2 X 26kg (excluding carry-on in both cases). considering that i mostly take budget airlines, which have baggage allowance of about 15kg, i'm not sure if 30kg will be enough, too much, or too little. the other factor is that i'm still deciding what to bring! will probably leave my fancier notebooks behind, and take some which are more suited for everyday use. clothes-wise, i'm bringing work attire, 3 pairs of shoes, and some casual and workout clothes. scary JC friend says to buy stuff from uniqlo there, but i might be able to manage without. we'll see how it goes.

now that i've done most of the errands that i can, i'll probably spend next week doing packing and organization. still have to get rid of some stuff too, hopefully through carousell or some other means. at most...i'll keep them for use after JET. i should break up the packing job into phases...the current idea is to split it up into esssentials, clothes, electrical/tech, stationery, things representative of singapore, and some souvenirs. still debating on souvenirs though. the consensus on reddit is that they take up space and are not really necessary, but that's a mostly american perspective. i'll figure it out.

-random thought of the day: Don't wait till the last minute to pack, like last time.-

My weekends are usually quite laid back, with the most strenuous activity being tuition. this weekend was a little more activity-packed. it started off with me going to vivocity to drop my samsung watch off for a battery replacement on saturday, and it was more challenging than i'd anticipated. the overall experience left me with a bad impression of the samsung service centre. actually, the impression wasn't good even before i went down, because i tried to find out information over live chat and phone. the live chat experience, in particular, annoyed me quite a lot. not only was the agent unable to help me, she addressed me by the wrong name. that's not forgivable in the service industry, i think, especially when there were chat logs for her to refer to. at least the guy on the phone was polite and apologetic for not being able to be of much help.

the service centre visit was just...frustrating. maybe i was served by a newer staff member, but the word that i'd use to describe her is "incompetent". she had to refer to her seniors for help multiple times, was unable to log in to their portal, and spent what i thought was longer than necessary to get the entire process done. i must have spent 40 minutes at the counter! and it didn't help that i was running late to my next appointment due to not expecting to take such a long time at the service centre. in fairness, i don't think it's wrong to seek help when an issue is out of one's depth. but the way in which help is sought matters, especially if the person is customer-facing. think: "*colleague's name*, i need your help to verify this serial number" vs. "eh this serial number cannot leh, how ah?".

luckily for me, the next appointment was mahjong with scary JC friend, her sister, and their dad. it's been a while since i've played with them, and it was enjoyable as usual, with lots of banter and good conversation. i forgot the exact topic the conversation at the time, but i had a huge laughing fit after someone said something and i missed stacking the second row of my wall up on the first. it got to the point where i couldn't speak or sit up straight! it's good for the soul, i think. as a bonus, it was one of the rare occasions that i won money when playing at their house. i usually break even or end up being a little down, so that was nice.

mahjong was followed by going to nex and meeting scary JC friend's boyfriend at beauty in the (a?) pot for dinner. it's my second time eating at that franchise, and i don't quite get the hotpot craze. sure, the soup is nice, but i think i could eat better for cheaper elsewhere. i guess the more important thing is the social aspect, because the association in chinese culture is that people gather over a hotpot dinner for reunions. not to mention the cozy and warm atmosphere, which would be particularly appreciated on cold winter nights. not that i'd know anything about cold winter nights...maybe that's something i can try in japan, having neighbours over for hotpot.

yesterday (sunday) was the real killer day. had one class of tuition in the morning, which didn't go all that smoothly. not due to any problems from the students, by the way. i misplanned a little and ran out of time to go through some of the questions, which was made worse by my zoom disconnecting towards the end of the class. well...i'll prepare answers for them to make up for it.

sunday lunch was with one of the chemistry guys, who i don't see very often, but still feel pretty close to. we ate chicken rice at bishan, which was a win on multiple fronts. we got to catch up, and i got a food item off my to-eat list. some way into our conversation, he was telling me about how a new superior was making work more troublesome than necessary, and how it was affecting morale in the office. i the half-jokingly asked him to consider signing up for JET, but i'm not sure that it's the best move for him. in a way, our situations are both similar in that we have basically zero liabilities, but he's earning way more than me, and so there's a greater opportunity cost for him to go on JET. we're talking about a ~40% pay cut for him, whereas in my present situation, going for JET is actually a pay raise. whatever the case, i trust he'll make a good decision for himself. even if he doesn't go for JET, he's also said that he wants to come visit me in japan. i'd be more than happy to host him.

let's see, so far i should be expecting visits from:

- scary JC friend (maybe with boyfriend and sister)

- cousin and family

- that chemistry guy

- other chemistry guys and their spouses/families

- final fantasy guildmates(?)

- lawyer guy (just me hoping)

looks like i might be providing a huge boost to the town's tourism! assuming everyone comes over and stays for a few days, that is. i really want to see lawyer guy again, because the last time we met was probably before circuit breaker...so more than half a year ago. i wonder how he's been. based on previous answers from him when i asked, "busy" and "tired" are my two guesses. i think that he could use a break, and rural japan might do him some good.

whoops, i digressed again. after lunch, i went to help a final fantasy guildmate move house. we moved some stuff last month, and this time was the final move to the new place. there was A LOT of stuff. thankfully, another guildmate drove down too, and between our 2 cars, we finished in about 4 hours? although we did things at a reasonably slow pace, we were all tired out by the time the move was finished. as thanks for helping, my guildmate bought me dinner at haidilao. so that's 2 hotpots in as many days. i saw our total bill for 5 people, and i really think that eating hotpot outside is overrated/overpriced. just get a hotpot and ingredients. the hotpot will pay for itself over time. that was also the reason that i ended up getting back only at around 12:30am. so that's 16 hours outside, and by far the most tiring day i've had in a while. was good for my soul, though it's not something i want to do too often. actually, i think it was mostly the moving that killed me.

now, for some associated thoughts. over the past week, i've been reading some manga online. romance manga, to be specific, where one person confesses to another and everything is sunshine and roses from there. as much as i want to take hope from there and believe that something similar will happen for me, i also know that those stories are fiction, and the author has full control over what happens. so it's unreliable, i guess. on the other hand, it's also a fact that i won't know the outcome unless i take that crucial step of actually talking to him about it. this situation actually reminds me of a song:

坂本九 - 明日があるさ (Kyu Sakamoto - There's Tomorrow)

いつもの駅でいつも逢う セーラー服のお下げ髪 もうくる頃　もうくる頃 今日も待ちぼうけ 明日がある　明日がある　明日があるさ ぬれてるあの娘コウモリへ さそってあげよと待っている 声かけよう　声かけよう だまって見てる僕 明日がある　明日がある　明日があるさ 今日こそはと待ちうけて うしろ姿をつけて行く あの角まで　あの角まで 今日はもうヤメタ 明日がある　明日がある　明日があるさ 思いきってダイヤルを ふるえる指で回したよ ベルがなるよ　ベルがなるよ 出るまで待てぬ僕 明日がある　明日がある　明日があるさ はじめて行った喫茶店 たった一言好きですと ここまで出て　ここまで出て とうとう云えぬ僕 明日がある　明日がある　明日があるさ 明日があるさ明日がある 若い僕には夢がある いつかきっと　いつかきっと わかってくれるだろ 明日がある　明日がある　明日があるさ

I always meet her at the usual station Wearing a sailor uniform, with her hair in braids She's coming soon, she's coming soon Today also, I wait for her There's tomorrow, there's tomorrow, there's tomorrow To the girl who's drenched in the rain I was waiting to extend an invitation to come under my umbrella Call to her, Call to her But I'm watching her in silence There's tomorrow, there's tomorrow, there's tomorrow Today is the day, I wait for her to come out And follow her from behind Until that corner, until that corner But today also, I've given up There's tomorrow, there's tomorrow, there's tomorrow I made up my mind and With my unsteady fingers, I spun the dial (of the phone) The bell is ringing, the bell is ringing I didn't wait until she picked up There's tomorrow, there's tomorrow, there's tomorrow (At) the cafe that I went to for the first time Just one thing to say, "I like you." The words came up to here, the words came up to here I didn't say it after all There's tomorrow, there's tomorrow, there's tomorrow There's tomorrow, there's tomorrow The young me has dreams Surely someday, surely someday She will understand me There's tomorrow, there's tomorrow, there's tomorrow

hope this looks ok after publishing, because it's grossly misaligned in my post text box. but you can probably match the paragraphs. so, as you may imagine, this song is about a guy who can't find the courage to tell the girl he likes about his feelings. and his excuse to himself is "there's tomorrow (to do it)". given the kanji used, and considering that the singer is male, i'm pretty sure that the original premise of this song was a guy chasing a girl. but japanese, being kind of light on pronouns, allows for some wiggle room as far as genders are concerned. so, i'm just going to repurpose this to describe my situation with lawyer guy. don't know how many more tomorrows i have as far as this is concerned, but i think broaching this topic now isn't the best time. maybe during his visit (if he visits at all) or after i'm done with JET. i'll still keep in contact with him in the meantime, of course. he's great to talk to, but i think we might need to find more common topics. so far we have final fantasy and pens, which is a decent start, i think.

that's it for now. still have some other things on my mind, but formatting the lyrics and adding translations took longer than i thought. i'm still feeling the aftereffects of yesterday, so the fact that this post is so long is actually quite an achievement. going to relax a bit before sleeping; there are some activities lined up for tomorrow too.

-random thought of the day: Things are falling into place.-

Pardon me for stating the obvious, but waking up early really gives you a lot more time to fit activities into your day. although if given a choice, i'd rather start and end my day later. sometimes though, that choice isn't available. like today, when the japan embassy gave me an 8:45am appointment to submit my visa application. and uncle murphy finally made his appearance in the JET procedure. i woke up early, but dozed off again and woke up slightly later than i'd planned to. what's worse, it was raining! and the embassy didn't allow parking within its premises any more, so i had to park at dempsey and grab over. the original plan was to take a bus from dempsey, but there's a huge stretch of uncovered road between the bus stop and the embassy.

but if that's all that uncle murphy is going to mess with me for JET, i'd consider myself extremely blessed. thankfully, the paperwork got through ok, and i have another appointment to collect my visa at the embassy. i'd meant to submit my redone certificate of health today as well, but forgot to in my state of fluster. well, there's always submitting it on visa collection day.

since i was only a short drive from NUS, i went down to see some of the changes that my friends mentioned, and to get some NUS apparel to bring over, because branding i guess? i just drove through science, and saw that my favourite ninja parking spot is no longer accessible. well...things are bound to change in a year. i stopped at arts, and got locked out of the co-op because someone forgot to open the main door into the building. apparently, it's not the first time this happened, so something's not right. in fairness, i suppose that it's a new-ish building and people may not be super familiar, or having less staff on site means that certain duties got inadvertently overlooked. anyway, i finally got to the co-op after a 15-minute delay...only to find out that NUS was closed to outsiders, ie. all non-staff and non-students, even alumni, shouldn't be on the premises! the manager lady was nice though; she let me try on the item that i wanted to buy (just to see the fitting), but told me that i had to order it online and have it delivered to my home address.

following that, i went to compass one to get a new wallet. there isn't anything really wrong with my old wallet, except that it was from the ex, and in quite a striking colour - which totally clashes with my personal taste and preference. going to use this opportunity to reduce the number of cards and random things that i carry around too. was considering using a dedicated coin pouch, but it's lots more added bulk. also, the coin pouch that i plan to use (designed in the shape of the head of baymax from big hero 6) is of the fuzzy texture and thus will get dirty easily. i guess we'll see how things go. japan is a pretty cash-dominant society (at least it was, the last time i went), and that extends to coins too.

despite the two things that didn't go according to plan, today was an overall positive experience. and while i'm not not normally someone who likes shopping or interacting with people, i must say that both shopping experiences were extremely uplifting. i attribute it mainly to the thoughtful and attentive service i received. normally, i wouldn't think twice of it, but i guess it's nice to have some in-person social contact after the isolation that's been necessitated by COVID. it could also be that the shops were having low customer flow (i was the only customer in both those cases), so the staff could focus more on me.

that should be all the major happenings for this week. the feeling of "this is real" is starting to sink in. i expect it'll only intensify until i get on the plane, or maybe until i'm in japan. another bunch of stuff to settle next week, collecting my visa and signing paperwork for the car being two of the more significant ones. i've heard someone say to love people and use things, not the other way round. but i don't think it's wrong to love your possessions, especially if they serve you well, as the car has done for me. as long as your love for them doesn't cause harm, i think it's reasonable. you might guess that i'm a little reluctant to part with the car, but ultimately, it's the decision that makes the most sense in all aspects.

guess i'll end it for now. the post is getting a little long. there are other things of a more philosophical nature on my mind, but i guess that they can be saved for another time.

-random thought of the day: Need to reply some emails.-