A few things happened over these past 2 weeks. the absolute number of things isn't that high, but each thing is significant in terms of magnitude, hence the weight of things going on in my head. i'll try to do them chronologically, since i think that'll make the most sense. since it's been a while, do forgive any skips or errors.

first on the list is graduation. i didn't feel too much, seeing the kids in the big school graduate. although i've seen them since i first started on JET, i wasn't really close to the class as a whole. i attribute this both to me being a little standoffish due to being uncertain as to how to handle primary school kids (they were in primary 6 when i first got here), and the class just on a whole not being super engaging. don't get me wrong, there were kids who made it a point to greet and talk to me, and i got along really well with them. but for the other quieter ones and those who switched off upon hearing english...not so much. being quiet/uncommunicative isn't a character flaw, to be clear. it's just that it's going to take more time and effort to get through and form a connection. and this is just my opinion here, the effort isn't worth it in some cases.

in contrast, the smaller school's graduation was way more emotional for me, despite having only 6 graduating students compared to the larger school's 32. also, i didn't see those 6 students until they started in the secondary school, which makes it even more amazing. the kids there are some of the best i've taught in my time on JET. even if some of them aren't good at english, their positive attitudes and willingness to try make teaching them so much more fun. and for the first time in my 3 years and close to 10 graduation ceremonies here, the foreign english teachers were mentioned in the graduating students' farewell address! i wasn't expecting it, and visibly reacted when i heard my name. at that moment, the main thought in my mind was "我没有白疼了他们", or "my love/care wasn't wasted on them". after the ceremony, i passed them the graduation gifts i got them - bag tags with their names embroidered on them. thanks to my OC in army for giving me that idea! the tags are black, with silver embroidery, same as my black belt. it may seem quite self-centred of me, but i chose the colour combination precisely because of that. i hope that having something of the same colour will help to bridge the emotional distance, even if we are physically far apart.

next is the fukuoka trip to meet my friend. it was my first time there, and i was quite impressed with how modern everything is! like, i went to an unmanned train station with literally one platform and trains every half an hour - similar to my train station back here in kochi. the difference is, the small station in fukuoka had a little machine that i could use to tap my card in and out of! no such thing in kochi - cash only, at least as far as i've seen. it amazes me, how vastly the level of development can vary within the same country. then again, having singapore as my standard/reference isn't very ideal in this case. how much can the level of development vary in such a small country?

the main goal of the fukuoka trip was food. well, that and meeting friends. the singaporean JET who was in kochi until last july is now based there, and he invited us over for a belated CNY dinner. granted, his wife did all of the cooking! there was chili crab, emperor's chicken, char siew, and vegetables, with the usual limitation of not being able to get the ideal ingredients that would have been used in singapore. but despite that, the dinner was awesome, and easily the best thing i've had in japan - just for the nostalgic flavours and because someone actually bothered to put in effort to cook for us without expecting anything in return. also at his house, i learnt that one of his colleagues grows chilis and makes his own hot sauce, which by the way, tastes awesome. it was spicy, but there were other flavours, like a sour tang, and something aromatic/flowery. it's really amazing, the diversity of human creativity.

other interesting food experiences include visiting a 牡蠣小屋 (kakigoya - oyster hut), which are vinyl tents set up by oyster farmers/fishers in the winter months. they sell freshly-harvested oysters and provide you a grill on which to grill them. the one i went to was an hour away from the main fukuoka city, and used charcoal in their grills, instead of gas. charcoal supposedly imparts a better flavour. while i normally prefer eating oysters raw, grilling was a nice change! not sure that i'll be grilling them too often though, raw is still my clear preference. i had to open some of the more stubborn oysters too. during my long break between NS and university, i went down several rabbit holes. oyster shucking happened to be one of them. good to know that the knowledge came in useful, even if it is 15 years later! i really think that we should learn more about things that we like/are interested in. oysters are one of my favourite foods to this day despite the food poisoning episode in primary school, so it was only natural that i wanted to learn more about them! i also tried turban shell (sazae in japanese). not my preferred shellfish. for one, it was difficult to extract the meat. also, the internal organs were black. not super appetizing.

in the end, i didn't do the gay bar thing in fukuoka. wasn't really feeling up to paying for overpriced drinks with the possibility of not meeting anyone. i did consider going to a gay sauna for more M18 activities, but wasn't feeling it either. part of it was the fear of rejection, and part of it was not wanting to make the effort get changed and leave the hotel room, especially when i was all nice and comfortable after a bath in the onsen. ah well. there'll be other opportunities, i'm sure!

had my last 2 days of school this academic year on thursday and friday. classes on thursday were casual with not much learning, and friday was basically just ceremonies. nice and relaxing! i was made to stand in front of the students in the big school, along with other staff members who were transferring out. i still have a couple of schooldays in april, but i think they wanted to give me a proper send-off. well...i don't know how to feel about that. one thing's for sure though, i won't be introduced as a member of staff during the entrance ceremony 2 weeks later, and i actually prefer it that way. no point getting the kids ready to have class with me, when i'm going to be in the school for all of 2 days.

this year, there are a fair number of people leaving. all 3 head teachers in the primary schools are being transferred, along with some of the regular teachers. but then, i've been out of the primary schools for so long that i don't really feel too much sadness. in the secondary schools, 7 staff members are leaving, including me. this includes one teacher who's been on medical leave for the past 2 years. while i have my suspicions, i still don't know why for sure. i do find it a waste, though...to study so much and get a teacher's license, only to quit because the job isn't for you. i hope she finds happiness/fulfillment in her next thing, whatever she chooses to do. it kind of scares me, that something similar might happen to me. imagine me getting a graduate certificate in IP, passing all 4 papers for the qualification exams, and then just walking away from a patent attorney career to, i don't know, farm oysters or something. well, i figure that i'll know to cut my losses before that. and even if that exact scenario happens, i'm sure that having the qualification will open up new doors in other ways that i may not see now. in the small school, 2 teachers are leaving. the social studies teacher (more on him later), and the science teacher, who's taught at the school for 10 years and is a stalwart there. 10 years seems perfectly normal in the singapore education system, but it's an eternity in japan as most teachers stay in a school for 5 years or less on average. i feel kind of sad that they'll be going, but then again, i'm leaving too! so it's not like we'd have much time left together even if they weren't transferred, anyway.

last big thing, and then we'll be caught up for events. that's the smaller school's end-of-year party that was held last night. both schools decided to hold their parties on the same date and time, leading to me having to make a choice. i'm so happy i chose the smaller school! there are nice teachers and staff in the big school, just that i feel closer to the teachers in the smaller school. for once, they held it in the next town, and not in kochi city. less time spent on the commute! the food was great, totally worth the 5500 yen. i was particularly impressed by the fried oysters and the stew-type thing, which i was told contained wild boar. didn't taste too different from pork to me, but i guess that's to be expected, seeing as how biologically close the 2 animals are. i also took some time to speak to both the outgoing science and social studies teachers, and gave them a singapore flag pin.

the conversation with the social studies teacher (who's also been the form teacher for the 6 graduated students for the past 3 years) was unexpected, in that he told me how much the kids loved (love?) me. apparently, one of them has been mimicking my walk! i've never caught her in the act, though i'd have loved to see it! he also shared that my presence brought the teachers some relief/less worry, which i think was really nice of him to say. it's nice to get this kind of validation/affirmation. i've been getting this comment a lot recently, that i go above and beyond what's required of me in this job. but to me, it's just something i want to do for the kids. they're nice to me, so i want to spend more time hanging out with them and helping them out wherever i can. again, i feel just a little bit sad that i don't like teaching enough to make a career out of it.

boy, that was a lot, wasn't it? i'm off the whole week next week, so the plan is to finish like 80% of the packing. mainly clothes and other things that i won't need to use in my remaining time here. then there's house cleaning, and finally, settling money matters. should stop using my credit cards in mid-april. i also just learnt that i can pay my credit card bills ahead of schedule by bank transfer. good to know! there are still a few more small things that i have to take care of, but i don't foresee any major hiccups. one exciting recent development is that chemical engineer cousin and her husband are coming to japan! unfortunately, they aren't coming to my neck of the woods (not that i'd expect them to), so i'm off to kobe again to meet them. while we've been keeping in contact fairly regularly over the intervening years (thanks, internet!), i think it's been about 6 years since we've last met in person - which was back in 2018 when i went to visit them in perth. even though we're quite updated on each other's lives, i'm sure that we'll still have a fair bit to talk about. i'm quite excited!

apart from this entire wall of text, there are still a couple of topics i kind of want to mention. but this post has gone on long enough, plus i kind of want to let them stew in my head a little more so i can figure out how to express them better. until next time!

-random thought of the day: Mildly worried.-