Army life is a drag. starting your year in the service of the nation isn't exactly the best way to usher it in, trust me on that. on the bright side, i'm roughly a third-way through BMT now. seems quite fast, actually.

so...new year. ok, maybe it's not exactly new by the time i'm posting this, but what the heck. from where i stand (or lie, as the case may be,) now, 2007 looks like a really boring year. i mean, how fun can army get? it's supposed to be strict, disciplined and all that. anyways, a new year brings new resolutions. this year, however, i'm not going to list them out, as there are relatively few of them, and most of them are dealing with the eventual goal of getting into either SISPEC or OCS.

booking back in in another 5 hours or so. man, it feels so sian to watch the seconds tick by. it feels horrible when you're still in the civillian world, but then, it gets better once you're actually on the island. the only thing i'm worried about is the field camp next week. there have been many stories about it floating around, and we've been told to be mentally prepared. somehow, i get the feeling that i need to buy some stuff later.

maybe it's just me, but army seems to kill your brain cells. i seem to be forgetting things that are normally second nature to me. oh well. as long as i remember all the important stuff, that's good enough for me.

well, it's time i went back to CoH. i have another 2 or 3 hours maximum playtime before i make a short trip to beach road/any shopping centre to get some of the stuff i'll be needing.

-random thought of the day: I need to catch up with some friends.-

Lately, there have been several drastic changes taking place in my life.

the first, and most obvious one, would have to be my enlistment in the SAF. my long absence would probably have clued you in on the fact that i've completed my 2-week holiday in an island resort, aka. confinement period in pulau tekong. now, only 13 more weeks to go before i POP on 21 march. right now, it seems like a terribly long time, but from personal experience, i know it's going to seem to pass really quickly...once it's over.

army life is a lot more controlled/strict/regimental than regular civillian life. while it does take some getting used to, it's not all that bad. i think being in a boys' school for 4 years definitely helped in the acclimatization process. there have been some new experiences, like getting to use a real M16 (incidentally, isn't it odd that the law allows 16-18 year-old guys to hold rifles and shoot live ammunition, but not to watch porn?), learning some foot drills (which i have a headstart in, thanks to the BURST camp in cat high), hand-washing your own clothes, showering with cold water only, and other interesting stuff. it's mostly been quite slack, but i hear things pick up after the first book-in.

in the army, everyone comes in on equal footing. luckily, that's the case in my section. there's been no discrimination or politics, which i find to be a blessing. as an added bonus, everyone's getting along really well. our superiors also seem...human. they do get angry and roar at us, but there are times where they laugh and joke around too. it helps to foster a closer relationship, i think.

well, i think that covers the bare essentials of army life. honestly, i'm still apprehensive of the whole 2 years thing, but i figure since i'll have to do it anyway, i might as well make the best out of it.

lastly, merry christmas!

-random thought of the day: Booking in on christmas day is no fun.-

This'll most probably be my last post for a week or two (or three). so, i figure i'd better get started on the first of my 2 year-end posts.

2006 has been a rather interesting year...i think an appropriate theme for it would have to be "sharing electrons", or more simply, "forming bonds" (sorry, i couldn't resist. it's the chem student in me). a common trend i notice is that classes tend to only bond closely in their final year together in the school. it's the same for both my sec 4 and J2 classes. though with T20, much of the closeness was there already in J1, so we didn't have to work too hard at it this year. i know i don't say it enough, but i am extremely happy to have been placed in T20. i don't think i could ask for 25 better people (and 5 better teachers) in CJC. though there have been some rough times (probably more than i'd like to remember), we still made it through the 2 years relatively smoothly.

well, so much for my class. next, my school. as i've mentioned before, i did not expect my stay in CJC to last beyond 3 months. and yet, i've graduated from it. funny how fate works. anyway, i suppose it was for the best that i stayed in CJC. the people are generally nice, friendly, and (as far as i know) politics rarely exist within groups. only problem is the administration can be a tad too rigid/demanding at times, and this had led to some clashes within the staff, which will end up being the school's loss as some teachers are leaving already.

moving on to the personal side, i think i've been doing ok this year. no major outbursts or anything like that (except for the occasional scream or three when stressed). after referring back to my new year's post, i realize i've succeeded in fulfilling only a limited number of my new year's resolutions. still, i'm quite proud of myself, in the sense that there have not been any major screw-ups or stuff like that. well, none that i know of, at least. for all i know, i may be saying something completely different next march.

in summary, there have been some significant achievements (NYAA especially), as well as some trying times, both in and out of school. still, i've made it through this far, largely due to the support of those around me. so, i'd like to say "thank you" to everyone in my life. do make an effort to keep in touch in the future!

you know, i bet there are some things which i've forgotten. but i really can't think of them now, so i may edit this post in the future. also, there are things which i can't seem to fit in, like some of the new friends i've made, the frenzied pre-prelim and A-level night studying, training and training camps, and various other events. i haven't forgotten them; it's just that it's difficult to put them anywhere in the paragraphs above.

---------------

to be perfectly honest, i'm not really looking forward to the drastic change in my life. army is kind of foreign, and all the stories i've been told don't really help things either. yes, i know most of them are no longer true, that we're getting slackened-down training as compared to 10 or 20 years ago, and the vegetables are no longer sandy. it's hard to imagine that i'll finally be facing this...THING which i've been hearing about since childhood. i suppose it's like meeting someone famous, like the president, only that this entity is neither human nor the president. well, i guess i'll go in there for the 2 years, and get out. no fuss, no trouble. just maintaining a low profile.

so, that about wraps up what i need to say for now. with that, i'm off to settle my christmas cards and check over my army stuff again.

see you all again (hopefully) at christmas!

-random thought of the day: Weird Al Yankovic performs "Yoda" live!-

It's amazing what one can learn while attending a class gathering. at one of those functions on monday, i learnt that there are 2 more couples within my class. apparently, it's been going on since the A-levels ended. for the privacy of the parties concerned, i'm not going to mention names, though i must admit i'm quite surprised at the pairings. not what i'd have imagined, but oh well. if it works out, i'll be happy for them. if not, well, at least they tried. after all, "It's better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all." (this quote of the day is brought to you courtesy of Alfred, Lord Tennyson).

i haven't sent (or, for that matter, bought or written) my christmas cards yet! to most ordinary people, this wouldn't seem like such a big deal at this time. thing is, this year, i'm not classified as "ordinary" because of that big monster in camouflage paint which calls itself "NS". so, i'm going to have to shop for, write, and mail about 20 to 35 cards by thursday evening. not completely impossible, but it'll definitely take quite a bit of time. i'm looking to start a tradition with this christmas cards thing, and as the unwritten rule goes, the act must be carried out for 3 consecutive years/months/measure of time before it's an official tradition. so, this will be the third year i send the cards out, and this'll officially make it a tradition. yays. the same applies for my year-end posts. but since this year's different, i think i'll do 2 of them, one for my J2 year in CJC (which must be up by thursday night), and the other for my initial impressions of army life, provided i can blog about the stuff going on in the army, that is.

upon the ending of one phase of my life, one thing i try to do is resolve all bad feelings/relationships that have been accumulated. i guess it's a way of clearing any misunderstandings and whatnot before a new phase begins. it's...relieving, for lack of a better description. this time, there's one particular thing involving one particular person which i want to bring to a close. no point dragging the issue on, yes? might as well get it over and done with and give everyone some peace of mind.

having said that, i think i'm off to get some rest. tomorrow's another long day.

-random thought of the day: Go to Black Angus sometime...it's worth it!-

Does hot or cold travel slower?

the answer, of course, is cold. i can confidently say this as i've just caught one of the little buggers, but i have yet to catch a hot. my nose is alternating between blocked up and runny, and i'm not in the best of moods right now. but i figure it'll clear up within the next 2 to 3 days or so.

today was pretty fun. we FINALLY had a 4-6 gathering! this is especially significant as it's the first time i've seen some of them in 2 years, and it'll probably be the last time i see them for another 2 years due to NS and all that. though the attendance could have been better (we got 10/32 people), i still consider it quite a success. after all, it's better than nothing, right?

oh. graduation night. how could i nearly forget to mention that? even though i did most of the shopping barely a day before, i think it turned out ok. as for the actual event, it was mostly successful, except that the emcee had to work hard to get the crowd going. for the first time, i got drawn in a lucky draw! thing is, i didn't win the prize. who knew that the price of a DVD player could go up to $535? but oh well. i suppose it's for the best, as i didn't have to lug that bulky thing around all night.

also, i tried clubbing. i can safely say that that'll be the first and last time i go. too much smoke in the air. still, i can now honestly say i've been clubbing before.

i think it's the lack of sleep that's screwed my immune system up. without further ado, i'm off to clock in some solid hours of unconsciousness. hopefully my cold will go away before tomorrow's appointments.

-random thought of the day: That lemon-flavoured Panadol thing doesn't work!-

Wow. the exams are over. ok, so they've been over for close to a week, and i'm slow in updating. as usual, i'm going to do some predictions:

Physics - A or B
Chem - A
Chem S - Distinction/merit? (i'm hoping against hope here)
Maths - A or B or C
Econs - B or C or D (considering i fell asleep for a short while during the MCQ)
GP - A2 or B3

not as precise as my usual predictions, but well, this isn't a "usual" exam. in fact, i think i'm probably being WAY too optimistic. from these predictions, my best possible result is AAAB A2. hmm. i'd actually quite like that. it's not too shabby. and i'm not even going to work out the worst-case scenario, though anyone with more than 25 IQ points should be able to do it. there's no need to make myself worry, right? but i still can't shake the feeling that i'm setting myself up for a major letdown next year.

still, the A-levels are now a thing of the past (assuming i don't have to retake them). on one hand, i suppose that's a good thing, because it means liberation for me. and yet, it's bad also, because this means that my impending army enlistment date is drawing closer. with regards to when it is exactly, all i'll say is that it's soon. REALLY soon. sooner than i'd have liked, but oh well. can't change it; duty to the nation and all.

so...what have i been doing this past week? 3 words can cover it. they are: slacking, sleeping, gaming. nothing unusual about the first 2, but as for the third, i've finally started online gaming for the first time in my life. call me a late bloomer. as i've mentioned several times before, i'm currently hooked on City of Heroes. at present, i have 4 characters with levels ranging from 3 to 16 out of a possible 50. it's pretty fun, though it does get repetitive playing through the same missions so often.

with that, i think i've covered most of the stuff that's happened between my last paper and now. tomorrow, i have to go shopping for clothes, other random stuff, and get my eyes checked. should be fun.

-random thought of the day: Something still needs to be resolved...-

Physics today had a distinct "WTF, mate!??" quality to it. paper 1 went ok, as far as paper 1s go, but paper 2 was just plain...odd. who asks people to define a radian? and it took me quite a while to realize that that complex-looking circuit was a wheatstone bridge (which i did not read up on, by the way). and until now, i do not understand why/how i gave the definition for fusion when the question asked for fission. my life is *so* brilliant, isn't it?

and wait! it gets better!! the fact that there's chem and econs tomorrow doesn't make me a happy boy. ok, maybe chem will cheer me up a bit, but i have this (probably accurate) feeling that econs will screw it all up. still, must try to remain positive. in 48 hours, the worst will have passed. just 48 little hours. what's 2 days of suffering compared to 2 years of working? just grin and bear with it. it'll pass. it always does. just think of all the stuff i can do later!

it's getting late, and i should really be sleeping soon. after all, i have to be at full mental alertness if i want to make it through tomorrow.

-random thought of the day: Be strong.-

Unbelievable. simply unbelievable.

i think it's kind of screwed up when your parents debate on your subject combination. it's been 2 years already, and they still ask whether i take physics. i mean, it's on my entry proof for a reason, isn't it? why would i not take subjects that are there? and it's not as if they've never seen all my result slips, or met Mr Loh at all the PTMs before (he teaches my class physics, by the way). so...i don't know. to actually hear them asking me that question was akin to hearing someone ask if a proton was positively charged, for lack of a better example.

if i do decide to have kids in the future, i'm sure all these little things will help me be a better parent. that is, once again, if i do decide to have kids. at present, i don't think they fit anywhere into my plans for the future. just imagine. how embarassing would it be for my kids to read this? i don't even want to take a guess. but anyway, if kids do come, i think my personal experiences will help me in being better equipped to tackle any problems that do come up, and appear nice and approachable at the same time.

as mentioned previously, tomorrow brings physics 1 and 2. though it appears manageable, i shouldn't start counting chickens yet. who knows what surprises those people can pull? still, i'm determined to get an A for physics. because my teacher's ability can only be justified by an A, nothing less. after all, he *is* the tai chi master. and my class is the last that he'll teach in CJC. so, we are duty-bound to give him something to remember us by. as such, we must go in there tomorrow and use his DA BIAN TIAN XIA WU DI SHOU skills.

after tomorrow, the worst is over here. econs. arrgh. essay, followed by DRQ/MCQ/CSQ. PAIN!! HORROR!! OTHER UNPLEASANT WORDS!! you get the idea. econs is quickly turning out to be the most bleh of my subjects. in fact, i'm thinking of not turning up for the paper. this predicament sounds familiar, doesn't it? only now, i don't have 3 weeks to chiong the subject in question, as with history at O-level. oh well. i'll make the most of a bad situation i guess.

it's kind of weird. i know deep down that i have 10 days to go until EVERYTHING ends. but subconsciously, i'm telling myself that it's only 5 days (or 3, depending on how tired i'm feeling). it's the wrong attitude, but still, as long as it helps me gain more motivation, i figure it works.

lastly, just a heads-up to f maths and geog students. thanks to our good friend Mr Not-A-President (Bu-Shi Zhong Tong, get it?), your timetable's altered. check the channelnewsasia website for more details. as for me, i think i'm off to get some sleep. i'll need much much endurance and motivation for the coming week.

-random thought of the day: There are many mosquito bites on my legs...I wonder why.-

Cambridge examiners are screwed up. actually, that's like saying absolute zero is chilly, which is a gross understatement.

so far, another 2 papers have been completed since the last update, namely chem 1 and maths 2. both were pretty unremarkable. for some odd reason, i think i'm affected by exam stress to a greater degree than i was 2 years ago. i made some dumb errors, and thoughts didn't seem to flow smoothly in the exam hall. the stupid thing is, after leaving the hall, i could do most of the questions that stunned me in a minute or less, like that hydrocarbons one for chem. and drawing a probability tree never occured to me while doing stats. amazing. well, as it stands now, i'm predicting either a B or C for maths. it's still too early to say for the other subjects, as i haven't sat for some of them yet.

just 5 more days of exams, and i'm free. thing is, these 5 days are spread over 12 days. it's very...frustrating. next week is going to be the most taxing. three papers in one day isn't really good for health. and i really need to save my econs. now that i've screwed maths up, i can't take any chances with the other subjects.

physics 1 and 2 are next on my list. i suppose it's a bit of a slack subject for me. but i shouldn't get carried away just because of my prelim results. if my AABD were to drop a grade each *touches an entire rainforest's worth of wood*, that would really be quite sucky. so, i won't let that happen.

-random thought of the day: If I get an A for maths, I'll donate $100 to a randomly chosen charity organization. Serious.-

I absolutely loathe maths.

i don't know why, but i was panicking in school before the paper. i guess it's the lack of confidence. it felt way worse than the prelims did, which probably means i'll get below 60 marks for this. that means if i get full marks for paper 2, i just may be able to see my A around the corner. riiight. oh well. who knows? miracles just may happen, as long as my willpower is strong enough.

if there's one thing i need to learn, it's not to dwell on what has already passed. really important skill, that one. i'm still struggling to perfect it. i think i let the negative feeling during and after the maths paper last too long, which is why i'm trying to get rid of it through blogging, and this helps me save many many $$ in therapy bills. yay blogging!

chem tomorrow. i really should be sleeping now, or at least reading up for my option, but i figured it's better to vent a little before that. it clears the head. you know, i think i may want to reconsider teaching as a backup plan. somehow, i get worried for my students. that's not a bad thing in itself, but i tend to get too worried, especially when they can't give me the answers i'm looking for. worst thing is, i'm not even getting paid for tutoring them, so imagine if i was. i think they'd end up hating me for all the stuff i'd put them through.

anyway, back on the topic of chem. i'm actually feeling less confident than usual. but hey, this is the biggest exam of my life to date after all, so i suppose that's natural...sort of. my environment option appears to be totally shot, so i'm not placing my hopes too high on it. just a pass there would be nice. as for the rest, i think there are just a few more kinks that need to be ironed out, especially in transition metals. it's mainly describing trends that gets me. i tend to be better at applying stuff, instead of memorizing it. ah well. at least i can take comfort in the fact that the subject head thinks highly of my ability, and that i was taught by one of the best teachers ever, though that was quite long ago. even now, i remember one recommendation letter he wrote for me. reading it gives me such a tremendous morale boost, it's amazing.

just another 2 weeks. that's all. i can survive this. why? because i'm pro. simple as that. right? of course. as you can see, self-affirmation is the key here. we all need encouragement once in a while, no?

oh. i just remembered. those geniuses at creative have run out of stock for a silver zen micro. so that means my player (which, incidentally, malfunctioned again) is not coming back for a while. damn. just when i need it for studying music. bad things happen at the most opportune time. that's murphy's law. after having 2 zen micros die on me, i'm now convinced that apple>creative. so next time my mp3 player screws up, it's an ipod for me. heck, i may even just sell the replacement zen micro on ebay straight away. to hell with creative. i'd love to support local brands, it's just that they don't give me a good enough reason to.

man, it does feel good to be able to rant on and on without a care in the world. but, i think that's enough for now. i really need to sleep soon, and take my mind off things. i'm becoming too high-strung. i should try to calm down more, like O-level days. then again, as i've recently taken to saying, "the theory part's easy, but the practical isn't."

-random thought of the day: Ketones do not react with Tollen's reagent.-

To celebrate the end of A-levels umm...GP, i was considering starting this post with typical ah beng/lian typing. you know, like all the "lahzxzzzzzx", "miiieeee" and other assorted stuff like that, but i couldn't bring myself to do that. even i draw the line somewhere. in fact, just typing those 2 words already gave me the chills, so i quickly scrapped that idea. still, it's good to know that i don't have to go out of my way to catch myself on every un-grammatical thought or phrase that pops into my head any more.

as for the paper, it was generally ok, except for some time management issues. seems like practically the whole world (in the science stream, at least) did the science question. i, on the other hand, did the common language question. call me nonconformist. heh. i actually felt that it was still manageable. but the comprehension was a little tricky, especially the summary and AQ, which i did not have sufficient time to plan for. all in all, i think a B grade is within reach, though an A would be a nice surprise.

you know, i absolutely hate it when people move my notes. i know i've said this before, but people don't get the idea. it's dangerous to make a stressed guy angry, and the A-levels are a constant source of stress. so, the next time my notes or books are moved without my premission (at least before the 22nd), i'm going to track down the one who's responsible and rip that particular person a new...orfice. they will then be able to take a crap in 2 places at once. but seriously. i've just about had it with people trying to "organize" my stuff unnecessarily. next time this happens, the effects won't be pleasant.

-random thought of the day: 13 more papers to go!-

My mind is as still as a lake...

or not. actually, i'm in a whole lot of distress right about now. the A-levels start tomorrow, with GP leading the assault. despite my A1 in O-level english, i'm actually quite worried this time round. it's a big leap from O to AO standard, and and even bigger one from O to A level. hopefully i get an A2 minimum, though i'm not objecting to another A1.

well, 2 years of work will be justified here. time to give the nice folks across the world an impression of how much (or how little) effort has been put in during this time. this is truly the beginning of the end. all the best to all my friends, classmates, teammates, and any others whose acquaintance i've made in the past 18 years of my life.

-random thought of the day: 20 more days until it all ends.-

Surprisingly, i made it through the day with no major incidents/embarassing moments. in fact, i'm tempted to say that it was one of the most productive days i've had since after the prelims. reading those econs notes does help a little, though i definitely need more time to commit all those acronyms to memory. i must admit, it does make remembering the factors somewhat easier. so far, i know that We Can Foster International Relations and D5 are about the advantages and disadvantages of trade respectively, I SP Y PS I is for factors affecting investment. there are quite a few others, which i shan't list here. too confusing.

self study aside, i think i did pretty well as a tuition teacher. managed to solve most of the problems without too much fuss. only thing was that some things didn't come as quickly due to my lack of sleep. still, i'd give myself a 7/10 performance. and i'll have to do it again tomorrow, not that i'm complaining.

it's been quite a while since i've posted twice in a day. i guess it's my body's way of depleting its energy source completely, since that leads to a more efficient recharge (this is really true when applied to phones, mp3 players, anything that runs on rechargeable batteries). so this means i'll be going off to sleep soon. need to regain energy.

Posting this early in the morning is a first for me.

the reason i'm not asleep now is, well, because i can't sleep (thank you, captain obvious!). but seriously, i doubt i got 2 hours of sleep through the entire night. all i remember about my short trip into dreamland was that i had a vision of killing huge underwater snails with a giant key and lightning magic...sort of like Kingdom Hearts (though there are no snail enemies anywhere in the game, as far as i remember). not the most relaxing of dreams, if you ask me. i have no idea why this is happening. my only hazy guess is that it's due to A-level pressure. incidentally, GP is in 3 days' time, and i still feel i'm lacking in content in areas like terrorism, happiness, and a host of other topics.

i really feel quite inadequately prepared sometimes. honestly, as of now, my prediction is BACC for physics, chem, maths, and econs respectively, and that's looking at it quite optimistically. i only have a few days to turn that into AAAB or AAAA. not impossible, but not easy. especially for econs, and to a lesser degree, maths. still, i should be grateful that i have some miraculous econs resources. now all i need to do is read them and get used to the acronyms.

aside from some odd occurrences like inability to sleep and questioning my own abilities sometimes, i'd say i'm coping pretty well, given the high stress level. i'm stressed enough to be worried, but not to the extent of a breakdown or anything ike that, which would be disastrous at this time. so i guess i'm pretty lucky.

you know, i just realized that in the event my A-level results are poorer than expected, i don't have a backup plan at all. so should my results be bad (touch wood), i'd be pretty screwed. so that's another reason for me do do well, isn't it?

well, my paragraphs are getting shorter, which means i'm running out of things to say. and guess what? i have to be in school later. go me. i think i'll try to get another hour or two of sleep in before then. but that depends on whether i can fall asleep or not in the first place.

-random thought of the day: 4 more Fridays before it's all over.-

Day after day, time slips by. there are now slightly more than 7 days until the GP exam. wow. i wish i could say that i was so caught up in studying to the extent where i didn't notice the time go by. but even a blind person would be able to see that i was lying. truth be told, i'm still considered extremely slack. something tells me i lost a little too much momentum after the prelims.

so, what have i done during the past few days? as mentioned earlier, not much. mainly just reading up on some chem, physics and econs. i feel slightly more confident for group 2, and econs in general. my physics appears to be slipping a little though, but kinematics was never my forte anyway. overall, there has been some progress made, but not as much as i'd have liked.

this afternoon, while taking a (not so) well-deserved study break, i chanced upon The Last Samurai showing on cable. i remember watching it in cat high at one of those post-prelim relaxation things, but i only caught the last hour or so then. needless to say, my break got extended by a whole lot as i watched the entire movie, all 2.5 hours of it. i don't know why, but i have a great appreciation for the japanese culture. almost makes me wish i was born there. then again, apparently the students there are pressured even more than singaporean students, so maybe it's for the best after all.

so, i think i'll cut my post here. blogger's due for maintenance, and i'm not sure when. so, it's better to be safe than sorry, right?

-random thought of the day: Must photocopy econs notes.-