Feeling a little demoralized now, because i was passed over for the scientific affairs officer position. the recruiter told me that the company went with someone who asked for less pay and had more relevant experience. nothing i can really say to that, can i? i'm not upset about the rejection itself, so much as i am upset with the way it was delivered. after a (self-proclaimed) good interview, i asked the interviewer when i could expect to hear back from her. she replied, "tomorrow". the next day came and went, nothing heard. i reached out to the recruiter on monday, which is when i learnt of that decision. is the basic courtesy of informing a candidate about the decision too much to expect!? i understand to the company it's just one application in tens or maybe hundreds. to the candidate, it's literally a matter of livelihood...at least it is in my case.

going back to my grousing about job search difficulties from a few posts ago, i wanted to add on that i think i'm a good candidate by most measures. no drug problems or other addictions, decently smart and teachable, willing to go extra miles, so i think it's unjustified(?) that i've got to look so hard for a job. at the same time, i know nobody owes me anything. and maybe some people are just a better fit for a role than i am. that in turn makes me wonder what else i can do, what other experiences i can accrue, and most importantly, how to go about doing/accruing things.

this latest development isn't the end of the world, not by a long shot. i still have an interview with the publishing place on wednesday. it seems that i may not go for that job, because i've read bad reviews about the company from people in singapore who are/were in the role that i'm applying for. i will attend the interview to give it a chance, and at the same time see if the interviewers pass the vibe check. it's a two-way process, after all. even if one of us ends up rejecting the other, it's insignificant in the big picture.

at this point, i've honestly lost track of the exact number of applications i have going. it's confusing - jobstreet sometimes redirects me to other websites when i click "apply", then records that job as having been applied for regardless of whether i actually followed through. not to mention some companies advertise the same opening on multiple portals, and i apply for all of them. all that considered, i'd say i'm in the ballpark of 80 applications? probably still rookie numbers compared to other job-seekers, but it's not a competition. all any of us really needs is that one magical hit, kind of like drug discovery! and the best way to improve the odds of getting a hit is to expand the pool of leads, ie. apply for more jobs. in addition to the editor one (which i may not take even if it was offered now) and the development chef one, other interesting things i've applied for include a manager role at a local (singapore) university, several lab manager roles, several roles relating to food, a flavourist role that doesn't require specialized qualifications, and some other IP-ish roles as well. hopefully one of them will become my hit.

you know, i've been thinking whether it's viable to pivot away from chemistry. so many people are telling me that entrepreneurship is the way to go. personally, i think that i could go either way at this point - work for others or work for myself. it's quite paradoxical, isn't it? i don't have much on the line and can therefore afford to fail, yet i'm not grabbing life by the metaphorical reproductive anatomy. so many people have told me they wished they were as unburdened as i am. on the flipside though, i wonder if having more liabilities (a loan/mortgage to service, dependents to provide for) would actually make me work harder? like i'd feel more pressure to earn money/"succeed" and therefore take more action? i don't really know...and i don't think there's any way for me to find out. not sure i want to, either. probably boils down to the type of person you are.

today's end-on-a-good-note thing is that i'm grateful for jobstreet's updates even after application. like, they tell you that your application is with the company. and in events where there are mismatches, they further tell you that your application is not likely to be successful. mycareersfuture shows the status as well, but in a different way. they'll tell you if an employer has downloaded your resume, and if they've declined your application. you may think it odd that i'm grateful for bad news, but i see it as closure. it frees up my mental capacity to let me focus on active/new applications!

-random thought of the day: Almost time to look for new accommodations.-