Einstein is often credited for the quote "insanity is doing the same thing but expecting different results". apparently, it wasn't him who said it! google says the person responsible is rita mae brown, who is an american author. she's still alive today! well, the quote is true no matter who said it. i realized that my saved job search was for "chemist", and that tends to give me lab-based roles. not very good for someone who's trying to get away from lab work. but at the same time, that gives me the most results. guess i'll have to do some manual filtering.

just for fun, i wrote to the IP firm that i interviewed with right before JET. they rejected me outright. i can kind of understand why, because my lab junior is working for them. having someone else with the same scientific background in the company doesn't make business sense. i won't deny that i feel a little bitter about it, but i'm happy that my junior is doing well in there. one more australian IP firm put a job ad up for a computer science trainee with a chemistry background. the incongruity makes me think that 1 of 3 possible scenarios happened: (1) they want a chemistry trainee but someone pasted the wrong title; (2) they want a computer science trainee but someone pasted the wrong description; (3) the ad is actually correct and it's some new hybrid role involving chemistry and computers. i can work with #1 and #3, which means that there's a 66.7% chance that i'll be a fit for the job. so, i applied anyway. kind of want to see how that goes.

still no word from the chemical consultancy company. the director did say 10 days from my interview, which could be this friday or next wednesday depending on whether he meant working days or not. thanks to my stupid brain assuming that i have a good chance of landing that job, i've been slacking off in job applications recently. now's a good time to remind myself that i have not been offered the job yet, and there are many candidates vying for the vacancies. the current strategy is to apply for manager- or coordinator-type roles which are more likely to be office-based. a recruiter emailed me about a tuition centre position, which i'm not crazy over but will at least find out more about.

things with the guy are going well enough. i am sure beyond reasonable doubt that he's not looking for other guys for his physical needs. he's been proactive in calling almost every day, which makes me happy. i have been thinking of a couple of things, though. it seems that his way of speaking is just that - a way of speaking. i don't think he means to be hostile. i wonder though, is that something to make a fuss over? the problem could be with me - that in my ideal fantasy world, my partner would be sweet and affectionate all the time. i suppose there are 2 things i can do...learn to accept that people express themselves differently, or find someone who matches my fantasy. #1 seems to be the easier choice by a mile.

next, due to the age gap and different stages of life that we're in, there's going to be imbalance. with the ex and i, we took turns paying on dates so it seemed more equal in a way...although i still lost out on petrol and ERP costs to pick him up and send him home. with this guy, i don't think splitting things evenly will be possible for the next few years at least. bold of me to assume the relationship will last that long! but you know what i mean. i'm doing my best to avoid equating love/affection with money. it's not a good mindset. well, it's a topic for a future discussion. i'm sure we'll find some sort of compromise or balance once we're actually in the same country.

thinking back on my 6 weeks in singapore just after JET, i realized that i was treating it as a stopover on my way to the UK. it's not a right or wrong thing. just that due to that way of thinking, i didn't do anything very permanent. now that the plan is to set up shop in singapore for the next 1 year or more, i should look into doing/getting things that would improve my quality of life. just off the top of my head: getting a phone line with more data, relooking my whole wardrobe, figuring out a fitness plan (gym? exercising at home? fitness corner? with the guy?), meal prep and budgeting (should talk to one of my guildmates about this). the difficulty i predict is having to battle the sense of motionlessness again - what if job applications don't go well? i guess i will also look into starting the process of getting my own place. not sure how it can be done, given my lack of funds and not meeting the HDB's work history criteria for an income assessment. well, i figure that there'll be a way. i'm almost tempted to suggest getting a flat with scary JC friend, but it would be horribly unfair to her as she would be tied to it for 5 years and unable to get a flat with any potential partner in that time.

20 more days in the UK. hopefully i'll get a job offer before leaving, then i can plan what to do after landing in singapore with more clarity. one of the first items on my agenda is a haircut. closer to the present, i have more job applications to send out. a few days before my flight, i'll re-allocate the stuff in my luggage. i'm pretty sure that if i carry on stuff in my messenger bag, i can make the 30kg check-in limit no problem. apart from that, i suppose there are the miscellaneous tasks of cleaning up the room a bit, laundry, and planning supermarket runs. the proteins in the fridge now should last me from 5 to 7 days, which means that i may only need to make a vegetable and sundry run this weekend. one more run per week on average means i have a total of 2 or 3 more to go. need to book the train ticket too. with luck, i'll also be able to sell the remaining 2 pens i have in that time. just as i typed that, someone bought one of them! one more to go. worst case i can sell any remaining things in singapore, i guess. that reminds me. i need to do a major decluttering/disposal exercise. i'm somehow looking forward to going back a little more!

-random thought of the day: Met a principal of the IP firm at the supermarket today.-