Festive occasions are normally a time for auspicious thoughts. unfortunately, last night's mid-autumn dinner got us (or maybe just me) thinking about death for a little bit. see, there's normally a sponsored table for former teachers at alumni celebration dinners. up till now, the 10 seats of the sponsored table have always been filled quite easily. this dinner was the first time that only half the seats were filled. and it wasn't for lack of trying, either! some teachers who used to be regular attendees are now less mobile than before, while others have passed away. among the latter group is my science teacher for sec 1 and 2, who passed away a few months ago. it was quite a shock to see her obituary in the alumni facebook group, as she seemed to be still in good health (albeit a little more frail) the last time i saw her at the CNY dinner in february. mentor figure also mentioned that some teachers who were invited asked the old boys to provide transport for them, either in the form of driving them down or sponsoring taxi fare. quite entitled of them, if you ask me, especially considering that their share of the dinner is already paid for! so, he's decided to stop organizing a sponsored teachers' table for future dinners within our group. can't say i blame him, actually.

probably a coincidence or some form of confirmation bias, but i've been thinking about the concept of impermanence recently. like, nothing's going to be around forever. and even if something by that name survives through time, it would have undergone some change that makes it not the same as an earlier version of itself. real world examples: the evolution of languages, the fall of england's oldest bank during a relatively recent financial crisis, or how national borders changed after the fall of the USSR. fictional example: how the signs representing the 4 elements changed in the most recent season of avatar (master of all 4 elements, not tall blue aliens). i've only seen the trailer, but i'm excited to catch it when it premieres! but as i was saying, nothing lasts forever. there will come a time when nobody on earth will have had any interaction with you, or remember how you look like (unless you're famous, like say einstein or hitler). i guess that's why some people want to leave a legacy, be it good or bad. i'm sure there's a deep, philosophical conclusion somewhere, but it escapes me for now.

i took the bus with scary JC friend after the dinner (she was going to meet her boyfriend at aljunied, and i was heading home in the same direction), and we talked about several things during the ride. i was telling her about the recent happenings with crochet guy (i linked them up a while back), and she thinks he's not suited for a sales role. i have a similar opinion. we both agreed that his heart's in the right place, but he's approaching it from the wrong direction. like, his immediate concern is focused on meeting his sales targets, instead of what value he can provide to his clients. thing is, it's very easy to pick up on. worse, it looks like he's using the people he talks to as a means to an end, which makes people question his sincerity. paradoxically, using people as a means to an end is kind of what sales kind of is! just that good salespeople provide value for their clients at the same time.

i can kind of understand/empathize with crochet guy's difficulty from my experience in looking for tuition students just after NS. what i did was that i asked mentor figure (who i wasn't as close to at that time) for help to find potential students among the alumni network in the form of old boys' kids. looking back, it wasn't appropriate of me to ask, since one of they key rules is that the platform is not for personal gain. but he was gracious enough to send a broadcast email out. i think he saw me as a young person looking to take on some financial responsibility, and wanted to help me get a start.

another thing we talked about was AI-assisted fortune telling. she told me that she input the relevant details into chatgpt, and asked it for a 八字 (eight characters) reading. the principle behind 八字 is that a person's fate is affected (or maybe governed/decided) by their date and time of birth. specifically, i think the 8 characters are split into 2 for the year, 2 for the month, 2 for the day, and 2 for the hour of birth. each of the characters is then assigned to an element, and the relative proportions of each element determines the personality, strengths, and weaknesses. it's so important that a superstition says never to divulge your 八字 to anyone, because others can use it to control you. it does make me wonder though, if 2 people born at the exact same time will be similar in that way even after they're grown up. odds are no because of the nature vs. nurture thing, plus there are other complementary branches of chinese fortune telling like numerology, elemental study, etc. which help to balance out a person's elements using the number of strokes and element radicals in the name they are to be given. i tried it myself, and got some surprisingly relevant results. of course, i will acknowledge that it could be cold reading and me finding my own meaning in it. at the same time, it says that my theme for this and next years is putting my knowledge to practical use, and avoiding burnout. that's quite specific and directly relevant to my job! well, i guess we'll see how close the next few years are to the readings.

pleasant surprise today, in that gym guy messaged me as i was on the way home from tuition. he was in the area, and we arranged to meet up for...activities. he also wanted to go to audio house (near my place) to look at stuff for his flat, and i tagged along. was quite a good trip; some induction cookers and water heaters caught his eye. happy that he has some alternative options now! interacting with him makes me think about what i want in a relationship. while he's a great friend to have, i'm not sure if we'd be good as partners. different level of expectations, after all. it also got me thinking about what i actually want in a partner, while some ideas are floating around in my head, they're not quite well-formed enough to post yet. maybe as part of the year-end post. one thing i want to expand on is the thought that people tend to focus more on how much value a potential partner can add to their life, as opposed to how much value they can add to a potential partner's life.

sunday tomorrow! might use the free day to do my quarterly check-in, seeing as september is ending this coming wednesday. i don't think i have any more social engagements at least until the founder's day dinner next month (which just so happens to fall on my cousin's and several friends' birthday), where i believe mentor figure will form at least one table. that's in 2+ weeks, so i have a break where i should aim to eat less and move more. not sure how successful i'll be with that!

-random thought of the day: Looking forward to a break from tuition.-