Saw some things on facebook that i want to blog about. content warning: suicide.

as facebook is prone to do nowadays, it showed me posts from people i don't know. the first one was a live stream of someone in america(?) having an end-of-life celebration. i went to read through her profile, and it seems that she's been living with cancer for a while? she looked to be older, too...60s at the minimum. i checked in a few days afterwards, and there was an update from her caregivers/loved ones saying that she had passed on peacefully. apparently, her heart only stopped after 18 hours from when she was administered the drugs. didn't realize it could take that long.

last night or 2 nights ago, i was shown a post that simply said, "good bye". i went to look at the person's profile, and saw videos of previous livestreams that he did earlier that night. not thinking much of it, i went to sleep. this morning, i woke up to a random post announcing the schedule for his funeral and cremation. seems like he jumped from height after the last livestream ended. reading the funeral announcement and scrolling further down through his facebook profile, i realized that (1) we were born in the same year, and (2) he claimed to be retired as early as 2017. he was also titled as "doctor" in the announcement...made me wonder what he studied? from the info i gathered, he appeared to be doing something finance-y. that, coupled with seemingly being born into a rich family, might explain why he was able to retire before 30.

the thing i found more intriguing is that he was a prominent figure in malaysia's cosplay scene. people were saying how generous he was, and how he was a valued member of the community. there were other accounts that his suicide was because of a woman, who he spent a whole bunch of money on. seems like it was "buy her a house" levels of spending, only for the relationship to turn sour and the girl to keep all the assets. i guess being rich doesn't ensure you have enough money. it's all relative...spend more than you make, and no amount will ever be enough.

one comment in particular caught my eye. a random netizen said something to the effect of "he had such a nice face, just slim down a bit and he'd have no shortage of women". it brings me back to the same question...should people in general aim to become better-looking to attract mates, or find someone who loves them as they are now? i oscillate between both points pretty frequently, and my current philosophy leans towards the latter option, with the addendum that it's not wrong to want to look good, but it should be done for the right purposes (health, mainly - both physical and mental).

anyway, those were just some things that i wanted to get off my mind.

-random thought of the day: Go for january intake of the masters course?-