Not having been in many relationships, and never with someone so...unique, i am finding myself a little bit in the deep end. it's quite challenging to carry out a conversation when you just receive one-word replies most of the time. it would at least help if those words could lead to further conversation, but the word in this case is usually "ok", which kind of puts a stop to the flow. let's break down the information i have, and see what i can do about this.

things i know about this person
they appear to be trying.
they appear sincere.
they are less experienced with relationships than me.
they have difficulty expressing themself.
they don't seem to feel anything very strongly.
their views of intimacy are a little distorted.
they don't like to rely on others.
they are honest.

things within my control
i can learn to stop being paranoid when this person doesn't reply my messages.
i can learn to accept their style of messaging.
i can make my wants and limits clear to them.
i can keep trying as long as i sense that they are too.
i can choose to be there for them, and maybe eventually, love them.

things out of my control
they may not be telling me the whole truth.
they may in fact be lying to me without me knowing.
they may still be sleeping around.
they may not like/love me back despite all that i do.
there may be other factors impeding the relationship.

for the things that i can control, i think that i've done most of them already. i guess it's just me being in the early stages of the relationship, and wanting to progress. it's kind of a residual effect from my last relationship. i guess i'm afraid of things going too slowly here, so i want to get all the so-called formalities out of the way. things like meeting their family, introducing them to my friends, and of course, getting even closer to them both physically and emotionally. the thought of bringing up my suspicion of autism has crossed my mind more than once, but i've gotten conflicting advice on it. some say to ask tactfully, while others say not to bring it up. i think it might depend on the individual. for this person, i feel that i might be able to do it tactfully, but at a later stage.

one significant thing that happened is that this person was admitted to the hospital yesterday. some heart condition thing. i realize that i'm worried about them, maybe more so than would be normal for people who have known each other for a week. am i falling for this person? possibly. i'm known to fall in like really easily. but more than that, i also want to take care of this person. gosh, what's wrong with me? hope i can visit them soon. i think that i'm starting to miss them a little.

-random thought of the day: Keep trying.-